Forever Young

by Trick Question

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Fetish, Other, Sex, Cheerilee, Rumble, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Thunderlane
Length: 14304

Rumble has a chance at eternal life, but it comes with a price: eternal youth.

Rumble receives a rare offer of eternal life from Princess Celestia. There's just one catch: he can never grow up. It's a tempting proposition, and though Celestia has never explained why she does it, only one foal in history has ever refused her gift.

As Rumble tries to make up his mind, he's plagued by the only question nopony can answer to his satisfaction:

Why is this happening to me?

Written for a specific Writeoff prompted by a drawing by GroaningGreyAgony. Out of respect for those involved, I will not link to the image or event. Nonetheless, I remain deeply grateful.

Published 2019-11-24 15:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-11-24 15:10:01 UTC

The Proposal

I knew what was in that cursed little box the moment Mom set it on the table.

I'm not sure how I knew. Nopony ever thinks it will happen to them. Infinity bands are very rare, and your parents aren't permitted to tell you if they've submitted your name. Even if you want it to happen, which I honestly didn't, you don't want to assume it will. The odds are too remote, so you're only setting yourself up for the biggest disappointment of your life.

Maybe it was the look in Mom's eyes that told me. I mean, I must have picked up on something. She was really excited to see me when I got home from school that Thursday afternoon, and she wanted to go to the Hayburger right away. I wasn't hungry yet, but she insisted. The weird thing was, my brother was home that week but he wasn't coming with us.

At first I wondered if we were planning a surprise party for him. I didn't think it'd be about me, because my birthday wasn't for another month, and I hadn't done anything special lately. But the moment I saw the box, my brain added it up.

I probably looked horrified. I could tell because Mom's face paled, which is hard to see since she's a buckskin. "Go on, open it," she whispered. "But not all the way, okay?" She looked nervously around at the other patrons, none of whom were paying attention.

It felt like I was walking into a trap. "Mom, um..."

She urged me on with her hoof and a nervous, smiling nod.

My ears fell back against my mane as I tenderly lifted the hinged lid, just enough to peek inside. Resting there was a small golden band inset with a ruby in the front. No doubt it had been sized to fit me.

I snapped the box shut and retracted my forehooves as though they'd been stung by a bee. They began to clatter against the table.

"It's real," she said, and her eyes shimmered. That much was obvious. No sane parent would ever prank a child with a fake infinity band, and Mom loves me as much as a mother can possibly love her colt (and maybe more). Still, hearing her say it helped.

I breathed in and out rapidly, and my eyes darted back and forth from the box to Mom's expectant eyes. She waited for me to speak with the patience of a vulture.

"I don't know," I whispered. "I just... I don't know."

"That's okay!" she said, smiling. "It's just a temporary, that's what the ruby means. It's to give you time to decide. They teach you about this in school, right?"

I nodded rapidly, eyes fixed on the box. "I... I know, but, um, if I put it on, am I stuck?"

"It doesn't mean anything. It's a temporary. It's fine." Her voice was soft, but carried a lot of energy.

I closed my eyes. "Mom, I need time to think about this."

"You don't have time, Son. If you wait any longer, you might not be able to decide at all. It's just a temporary," she said. "Please."

"Can we do it at home? Ponies are watching. They'll see," I said, nervously looking around the restaurant.

"You should do it now. Please, Rumble," she said, begging me with her eyes. "It only takes a second, and they're all going to see you wearing it eventually. It won't hurt, I promise."

It didn't feel like I had a choice. Besides, it was just a temporary, right?

"Okay," I whispered in defeat, and I opened the box all the way.

In one deft motion, Mom grabbed the band, wrapped it around my throat, and snapped it into place. I felt a tiny surge of electricity hit my spine, and a brief red glow met my peripheral vision.

"Oh thank Celestia," said Mom, exhaling deeply. "We're in time."

It was soft on the inside. Faux fur-lined, for comfort, and magically treated so it would dry right away after getting wet. It has to be fancy since you never take it off.

I heard a gasp from another table. A couple of mares were staring at us, an earth pony and a unicorn. "Is that new?" asked the unicorn, like she didn't already know.

I grimaced and nodded at them.

Pinkie Pie skated over to our table wearing her Hayburger uniform, and when she saw me she gasped out loud. "Ohmygosh! Rumble just got an infinity band!" she shouted, informing everyone in the restaurant.

"Congratulations, Rumble," said Mom, wiping a tear from her cheek as her wings flapped once. She looked as proud as I've ever seen her. As for me, I felt too many things at the same time: thrilled, confused, embarrassed, afraid... but mostly the last two.

Somepony nearby started clopping the floor, and the thunderous sound of hoofbeats on wood followed as the entire restaurant hooted and cheered.

"It's just a temporary," I belted out, standing up. "I haven't decided yet!"

"Temporary or not, this calls for a celebration!" said Pinkie. "Order whatever you like, it's on me! Not literally, though. It will be on plates."

Not hungry enough for a full meal, I had hay fries and a chocolate sundae. My mind swam laps in an unfamiliar moat of confusion and euphoria.

I thought I heard another foal crying in the distance as I ate, but I managed to tune it out.

Thunderlane was in the kitchen when we returned to the house. "Hay, are you planning to make—" he started to say when he turned his head and saw us.

"We have a surprise," said Mom, stiffly.

"What? Rumble?" said my brother. He looked back and forth between Mom and my collar. "There's no way."

"Yes. It's a band," said Mom.

"I know what it is," said Thunderlane. His eyes flashed with anger in a way I'd never seen before, and for a moment I was terrified. "Why did you do this without telling me?"

Mom placed a hoof in front of me, as though she needed to protect me from my best friend in the world. "Because I knew you would be like this!"

"I know, Mother, it was rhetorical!" he growled. "You have no right to do this!"

"He is my son, Thunderlane. I am the only pony who has the right. You aren't his father," she pointed out.

"Guys, please, don't shout," I said.

"We don't have a father. And that's what this is about, isn't it?" said Thunderlane, as his brow furrowed. "No, wait. It's about Spark. That's what this is."

"Don't you dare! I love my son, Thunderlane. I'm saving his life!" said Mom. Her face looked like she'd eaten a slug. "If you truly cared about him, you'd be happy for him too!"

"You think you're saving him? He's never going to grow up!" shouted Thunderlane.

"That's it. I'm taking this dumb thing off," I said, and pulled at the collar with all my might. Of course, it didn't budge.

"No. Not until you've had time to decide," said Mom.

"Take it off of him," he ordered her.

"One week, precious," Mom said to me, ignoring my brother. "Wear it for at least a week, or longer if you need to. Then you can decide."

I shook my head. "No. I've already decided."

"You will decide on your own," she said, glaring in Thunderlane's direction. "With plenty of time to think, and without your brother telling you what he wants you to do."

"Mother, for the love of Friendship..." said Thunderlane, holding a hoof over his face.

Mom snorted. "Get out of my house, Thunder. Leave. Now." She stomped a hoof and pointed at the door.

"What? Mom, no!" I said, looking up to her in shock. "This is crazy!"

My brother opened his muzzle wordlessly, then shut it and flew right out the door. He didn't even stop to grab his saddlebags.

"Wait!" I called out, but Mom grabbed me in her legs before I could take wing.

"He'll be fine, Rumble. He just needs time to calm down. This is all new to him," she said. "He's only upset because he cares about you."

"I know," I sobbed, as tears ran down my cheeks. I tried to push Mom away, but my legs were weak.

I'd never been angry and sad at the same time before. I was furious with Mom as I cried. I didn't want her to hold me, but I stopped struggling. It didn't matter if I hated what she'd done. She was still my mom, and being in her legs provided too much comfort.

That was the point of the band, after all.

I woke to the smell of a big breakfast Mom was cooking up, so I took my shower in three minutes flat. My neck was a little sore from sleeping in the infinity band, but after the shower it wasn't as bad.

When I got to the table, it was loaded up with eggs, hashed hay, oats, rye toast, and blackberry jam (my favorite). "Thanks Mom," I said, and I began stuffing my muzzle with warm goodness.

In the confusion last night, I'd forgotten to eat anything aside from the Hayburger snack. I was so hungry that morning, it wasn't until I was several mouthfuls into my meal that I remembered just how awful Mom had acted last night. When the memory hit me, I was swallowing a overlarge mouthful of hay, and I almost choked. I grabbed my glass of apple juice to help it go down, then coughed a few times.

"Sweetheart! Slow down!" said Mom, a horrified look on her face. "That band won't protect you from injuries, only illness and aging! You have to be extra-careful now that you can live forever, okay?"

I finished coughing and looked up to her, frowning bitterly. "I don't need to live forever, and you shouldn't have made Thunder leave last night! You gotta tell him you're sorry."

Mom's face fell. "I... Rumble, you're right. I am very sorry for how I acted, and I'll make up with him as soon as I can. But you have to understand, Mommy's feeling very afraid right now," she said. Mom walked over to pet my mane, which I reluctantly allowed. "I'm worried that you're going to throw something wonderful away, and you'll regret it later. You've been given a chance at an amazing life that very few ponies will ever get to experience. I only want you to have that chance because I love you."

I set down my fork for a moment. "Well... what I want is to be like my brother," I said. "Living forever sounds cool and all, but I want to grow up big and strong like him. He's a Wonderbolt, Mom! I mean, if I have to live forever, I don't wanna be a nopony, y'know? I wanna do something important with my life."

"You are not a 'nopony', Son! You can emulate your brother no matter what you decide, but even if you don't accept the band, you also need to be your own pony. You're not going to live in Thunderlane's shadow your entire life... that's not something he wants for you, either. I know you're going to make a name for yourself someday, but you'll do it in your own way," she said. "This is a very big decision, and you need time to think about all the consequences. Before you make up your mind, I want you to talk to the other frozen foals in Ponyville and hear what it's like to be frozen. Could you do that for Mommy? It would make me so happy."

I sighed. "Yeah, sure," I said. "I guess it'd be dumb not to give it some thought."

Mom smiled brightly. "I'm so glad to hear that honey," she said, and kissed my forehead.

On Fridays we didn't have to bring assignments to class, so I didn't need to grab my saddlebags. I was headed for the door when Mom stepped in front of me.

"Rumble... there's one last thing, dear," she said, frowning. "Don't let Cheerilee fill your head with nonsense about being a frozen, okay?"

I rolled my eyes. "She's not like that, Mom. And if I going to hear from frozens, I should hear from her too."

"Okay, okay," she said, backing off. "I just want your decision to be yours, that's all."

Pfft. Of course you do, Mom, I thought. That's why you want me to listen to the other frozens, but not my brother or teacher.

"Yeah," I said, with a shrug. Then I headed out.

Cheerilee's Lesson

It was a short walk to school, but it seemed to take forever. I could feel the stares of passers-by. Ponyville's large for a village, but word travels fast here. For all I knew, the whole class had heard already.

As I approached the building, Snips and Snails saw me.

"No way!" said Snips, as Snails's jaw hung open wide. "Rumble, you're a frozen!"

"Eh, not yet," I said, and pointed to the gem on the front. "Ruby, see?"

"Right, but all you gotta do is say 'yes'," Snails pointed out.

By this time, several foals had gathered around. I felt really awkward and tried not to look anypony in the eye as they gasped and gawked. "Today is gonna be a mess," I mumbled, pushing them aside to get into the classroom.

"Fillies and colts, please take your seats," said Cheerilee, as students filed into their desk chairs. "I have an announcement to make."

"Rumble's getting frozen!" blurted Chipcutter. The few students who hadn't noticed gasped.

"Lucky little runt," growled Diamond Tiara, wearing a contemptuous glare.

"Yes, that's the announcement. Rumble, why don't you stand up at the front of class so everypony can see your infinity band?" asked Cheerilee.

"It's not like they haven't seen one before," I said. "Sweet Pop still likes to play games with us, sometimes."

"And pretty much everypony's met Cinnamon Tea," said Sweetie Belle.

"I haven't met them yet!" said Pipsqueak. "They don't come to class here, do they?"

"Cinnamon Tea is too old, and Sweet Pop stopped coming three years ago," said Cheerilee.

"Oh. When I lived in Trottingham, we didn't have any frozen foals there," said Pip. "But I was really young, so I don't remember much."

"Frozen foals are very rare. There are still fewer than three hundred nationwide," said Cheerilee. "Ponyville is lucky to have three at the same time, given the small size of our population."

"It could have been four," said Silver Spoon, and Diamond Tiara giggled.

"Yes, I suppose it could," said Cheerilee with a frown in Silver's direction, "but it's only three. You may sit back down, Rumble."

I returned to my seat.

"Who's gonna own you?" asked Scootaloo.

I sighed. "Mom, of course, 'cause Dad's not alive."

"Figures you'd be a Momma's Boy," teased Truffle Shuffle.

"Truffle, that is not appropriate," said Cheerilee. "Marrying your mother first is the most common situation."

"Marrying?" gasped Pip.

"Not that kind of marriage, Pip," said Scootaloo. "That would be gross."

"Wait, isn't your brother old enough to do it instead?" asked Snails.

"Oh yeah, I guess he is," I said, and paused for a moment to think. "I'd definitely rather be with Bro, but he doesn't like the idea of me being frozen."

"Owning a frozen foal is a very big responsibility," said Cheerilee. "Much larger than simply raising a child."

"He doesn't like you being frozen? How come?" asked Apple Bloom.

"I bet he's jealous," said Chipcutter.

"No, he isn't!" I snapped. "He just wants me to grow up like him, so we could do more stuff together."

"Seems kinda selfish," said Sweetie Belle.

"Anyway, when's the wedding, Rumble?" asked Apple Bloom. "You should do a big one so all your friends can come!"

I took in a deep breath before responding. "There might not be one."

"What do you mean?" asked Kettle Corn.

"The law doesn't require the wedding to be public," said Cheerilee. "Some families prefer to keep festivities private."

"No, what I mean is I haven't decided yet," I said. "I might not want to be frozen at all."

For a pregnant pause, the only sound was birds tweeting on the wind.

"Are you crazy?" Diamond Tiara finally shouted. "Do you want to die?"

"Why wouldn't somepony want to be frozen?" said Snips. "I don't get it."

"Being a frozen foal involves a significant trade-off," said Cheerilee. "There are many reasons somepony might reject the offer of eternal youth."

"But only one pony in history ever did that, right?" said Pipsqueak. "Some filly, like a hundred years ago or something."

Scootaloo looked in Pip's direction with a grin, but pointed at Cheerilee. "You're talking to her, Pip!"

Cheerilee nodded and chuckled. "It was only thirty years ago. I'm not a hundred and eight years old, I'm afraid."

"And now she never will be," said Chipcutter. His eyes were downcast as he said it, and I felt like I'd done something bad.

"That's just insane," said Diamond Tiara. "I'm sorry, Miss Cheerilee, I'm not trying to be rude, I just don't get it."

"As I've explained before, I love teaching and I enjoy being an adult. Even when I was very young, I knew exactly what I wanted to do when I grew up," she explained. "If I'd been frozen, I wouldn't have grown into adulthood, and I wouldn't be teaching you right now."

"Sounds like sour grapes to me," said Silver Spoon.

"Did you not love your Mommy or Daddy or whoever was gonna own you?" asked Pip.

Cheerilee smiled. "It was my father, and I love him very much. I'm sure Princess Celestia checks up on family dynamics before giving approval. I would have been fine with him owning me, but I wanted to grow up instead," she said. "Now, I think we should discuss infinity bands in more depth next week, but today we have a lesson plan to finish. We have a lot of Equestrian history to cover, so let's get started." Our teacher pulled out her textbook to the sound of multiple groans, and the lesson began.

When the bell rang at the end of the day, Cheerilee asked me to stay behind to speak to her. I waited until the other students left before walking up to her desk.

"Hay, Miss Cheerilee," I said.

"Do you know why I want to talk to you?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Probably to tell me to not be a frozen foal, I guess."

She shook her head and stood up from the desk. "That isn't my decision to make for you," she said. "The choice needs to be yours, Rumble. That said, I won't hide the fact that I find infinity bands questionable. It's unfortunate you have to make the most important decision of your life when you're too young to fully comprehend the consequences."

I wasn't the smartest foal in my grade, but the irony wasn't lost on me. "Then why'd you want to talk?"

"I thought you might have questions for me you weren't comfortable asking in front of class," she said. "Things your mother might not know the answer to."

I paused in thought. "Can you tell me why Princess Celestia does it? Why she gives out the bands, I mean. I remember you taught us she won't tell anypony."

Cheerilee pursed her lips. "I wish I could tell you, but your guess is as good as mine," she admitted, and her voice dropped. "My best guess—and please don't tell anypony I said this—is public envy of immortality."

"Envy? But that's what the immortality bands cause, isn't it?" I asked.

"Not envy of frozen foals. Nopony can be too envious of a little foal, especially considering what you have to give up in order to gain eternal life," she said. "I mean envy of Princess Celestia's immortality. Throughout history, ponies have petitioned her for eternal life, and always been denied."

"Maybe she can't give it to anypony," I said. "Like, it's just her being an alicorn that does it."

"That's probably true. Still, most domestic coup attempts have come from ponies who believed they could achieve eternal life by defeating her," she said. "It's happened several times throughout Equestrian history, just as we discussed in class today. Giving a lesser kind of eternal youth to a small number of ponies makes life seem a little more fair, even if it's only a few of us who get chosen."

"I guess that makes sense," I said. "Why'd they pick me, though? I mean, I'm not special. My Mom's a wonderful mare, but she's not really remarkable. Maybe because Thunderlane's a Wonderbolt, but I doubt that's why."

"Why do they pick anypony? I have no idea, Rumble. I'm sorry," she said, and shrugged. "I don't even know why they chose me."

"It's okay," I said. "Oh, um... I do have one more question."

My teacher smiled warmly at me. "Go right ahead."

"Do you ever regret it?"

The smile faded. "Well... yes. Of course I do, from time to time," she said. "Nopony wants to die, and when I evaluate my life, I worry I haven't done enough with the limited time I've been given. I don't worry about death much, but I suppose I might feel afraid to die when my time is finally up. That's a normal fear to have. Nonetheless, I still think I made the right choice. My job allows me to influence future generations in a much larger way than I could have if I'd accepted the band."

I nodded. "Oh. I guess you have to be selfish to be frozen, then."

Cheerilee shook her head. "No, not at all. You can still contribute to society as a frozen. It's just a choice that you get to make. Besides, even if you think it's a little selfish, it's your life." The expression on her face hardened. "Rumble, all ponies should have the ability to decide how their life unfolds. Freedom is a basic pony right. You shouldn't let anypony else tell you what to do with the rest of your life. Do you understand what I mean by that?"

"Yeah, I think so. Thanks, Miss Cheerilee," I said, with a half-smile. I turned to walk out of the building, but as I walked away, I had a nagging feeling deep down.

There was something weird about how she said that last part.

Sweet Pop

About a dozen foals were waiting for me outside.

"Congratulations!" said Featherweight, as I stepped into the crowd. Several other foals echoed the sentiment.

"You cut it close with the timing, Rumble," said Scootaloo. "You could have earned your cutie mark any day!"

"Or even hit puberty," said Snails. "Though the cutie mark is usually first."

"Either one would have prevented you from activating the band," said Kettle Corn.

"Well, I didn't, and I haven't, so here I am," I said.

Diamond Tiara approached me and got right in my face. "Rumble, you and I need to talk."

"You can't buy his band, Diamond," said Apple Bloom. "And that wouldn't even make sense, because it's too late for you to wear it."

"Ugh, I know that," said an irritated-looking Diamond, rolling her eyes. "I'm not that selfish! I just don't want to see him make a terrible mistake with his life."

"You really wanted a band, huh?" I asked.

Diamond Tiara sighed. "Of course I did! And believe me, Daddy did everything in his power to get me one. Bribery, influence, dark magic, you name it," she said. "And then Celestia picks some random, ungrateful colt!"

"Dark magic?" said Sweetie Belle. "Uh, does anypony else—"

"I heard the selection is super mysterious," said Skeedaddle.

"It's totally random," said Silver Spoon. "It has to be random. Nothing else makes any sense."

"Look, I'm not ungrateful. I just want to grow up like my brother," I said. "He's a Wonderbolt! I've always wanted to be like him, and I'll never get to be a 'Bolt if I do this."

"The odds of getting into the 'Bolts aren't good," said Chipcutter. "I mean, you're a real good flyer Rumble, but they're the best of the best. You're betting your life on a risky dream. Literally."

"Besides, you could train for a hundred years and be the fastest colt in the world," said Scootaloo. "That's almost as good."

"It doesn't even matter!" said Diamond Tiara. "Living forever is so much better than being a stupid Wonderbolt!"

"Except you can't grow up," said Lily Longsocks.

"Why does everypony keep saying that? That's the best part of all!" said Diamond Tiara, wide-eyed as she looked back and forth at everypony. "I mean, being a foal is the most wonderful thing there is! Who even wants to grow up—obviously not counting those three?" She pointed at the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Now Diamond, c'mon. There's a lot of good stuff about bein' a grown mare," said Apple Bloom. "You get to have a family of your own, you get to make decisions..."

"Making decisions is lame. Being a foal means being pampered and living the good life, and you still get to be part of a family," said Diamond. She turned to me and placed her hooves on my shoulders. "Rumble, Miss Cheerilee is nuts. Please don't make the same mistake she made. Don't throw away your life!"

"Why do you even care?" I said, pulling away from her hooves.

"I don't know," said Diamond Tiara, holding a hoof up to her temple. "I just... I'd feel bad for you, okay? Like, really bad."

"Aww, that's kind of sweet," said Pip.

"Never mention this to anypony," said Diamond, narrowing her eyes at Pip.

"O-okay," stammered Pip.

As I turned around to look for a way out of the herd, I saw somepony approaching us.

"Hay, it's Pop!" said Snips, and indeed it was. Sweet Pop was a pegasus like me, though much smaller. I could already see the blue twinkle from her infinity band.

"Oh, another one!" said Pip. "How come hers is blue?"

"Ruby means you're deciding. Blue sapphire is permanent," said Kettle Corn.

"And diamond's after you turn forty," said Scootaloo.

"Huh huh, yeah. That means you can have sex," said Snails, grinning. "If you want to, I mean."

"Oh, that's really gross," said Pip, his muzzle wrinkled up.

"Most frozens don't want to do it until they're way older than forty," said Scootaloo. "I don't even see the point. It's not like you can make babies."

Sweet Pop trotted right up to us. "Hay there! I just heard the news, or I'd have come to class today. Congrats!" She bounced a little in place.

"Oh, uh thanks," I said. Pop looked much younger than me, but looks were deceiving.

Pop glanced over my head, then lowered her eyes to the ground. The rest of the crowd fell silent.

"What..." I said, then turned my head to see Cheerilee standing there.

"Hello, Sweet Pop," said Cheerilee, with a smile. "It's always nice to see you."

"Y-yeah, same here," said Pop, not making eye contact.

"I'm sure you can tell Rumble all about the pros—and the cons—of being frozen," she said, with a blank expression on her muzzle. "Have a nice weekend, everypony." Cheerilee walked back inside the schoolhouse.

Pop exhaled deeply. "Right. Oh, Rumble... I don't want to pull you away from your friends, but do you wanna come over to my house and talk?" she asked. "You probably have questions and stuff, and Daddy said you could come play."

"Sure," I said, trotting away from the herd as she tagged along. Several foals waved goodbye to me and I waved back half-heartedly. "Can we stop by my house, though? I need to ask Mom for permission."

"Of course," she said.

My house was close, but the trip passed in silence. I was too nervous to say anything out in the open, and I wasn't sure what Pop's deal was.

I opened the door to my house. "Hay, Mom," I called out, and noticed Thunderlane standing in the kitchen. "Oh. Um, hi, Thunder."

"Hay, short stuff. Hi there, Sweet Pop," he said.

"Is... Mom okay?" I grinded my teeth a little.

"Yeah, we're cool. I'm, uh, sorry about before," he said.

I huffed. "You shouldn't be sorry! It was Mom's fault."

"Yeah, well... we can talk about it later, okay?" Thunderlane gave me a weird look.

"Okay, sure. Oh, Pop wanted to know if I could spend time at her place. I can come back here for dinner," I said. Sweet Pop waved cutely and smiled.

Thunderlane nodded. "Sure thing. I'll give you permission and let Mom know," he said. "Be back by seven, okay?"

"Sweet. Thanks Bro." We both turned around and started walking to her house.

"That was nice of him," said Pop. "It's harder when you're frozen. I need to get permission directly from Daddy, unless he sets something up in advance."

"That's weird," I said. "Is your dad strict, or something?"

"Not really. It's just how it works. The only way you can die is by accident, so they watch you like a hawk," she explained. "It's always tragic when a foal dies, but it's an extra level of tragedy if it's a frozen foal."

I scrunched up my muzzle. "I dunno. I think it's way more tragic if it's a normal foal. Like, they never even got to live!"

"Yeah, I agree. I just mean from the perspective of society, and what we represent. We can talk about it more at home," she said, and picked up her pace to a canter.

It didn't take long for us to reach her house. Sweet Pop knocked on the door and an old stallion opened it. "Ah, you found him! Congratulations, little one," he said with a wizened smile. "Do come in."

"Your grampa's nice," I said.

"That's Dad, silly! He just turned seventy, and Mom is sixty-seven," she whispered to me. "Dad and I have been married a long time."

I followed her to her room. "Oh. So, that's your real dad? How old are you, again?" I asked.

"Just turned thirty-five last week," she said. "I was six when they froze me, so I've been married for almost twenty-nine years now. You?"

I laughed. "I'm nine! You're like, way older than me."

"Wow, nine. That's cutting it pretty close, huh?" Pop started cleaning up the floor of her bedroom. It was littered with an even mix of filly toys and colt toys.

"I guess so. I haven't even decided if I wanna go through with it," I said, sitting down on a clear patch of carpet.

"Yeah, I heard the rumor. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I think you should freeze," she said.

"I guess you like being a foal for this long?" I asked. "Do you think you'll feel good about it a hundred years from now?

Sweet Pop sat down next to me. "It's not a bad deal. Never growing up isn't perfect, but I still have a lot of fun and I don't get bored much," she said. "As for the second question, I have no idea! But Cinnamon's been around for centuries and he likes it, so it's probably fine."

"Wow! I had no idea he was that old," I said.

"Oh, I just realized! We have one of each color in Ponyville now! We have got to take a picture together, all three of us with our different collars," said Pop. "Before you get sapphire like me, I mean. We could do it just before your wedding! You'll have a photographer there so it'll be perfect. If you do a big wedding, anyway, and you totally should because they're a blast."

"And if I don't go through with it, I guess I could let you guys take a pic with me before I take the collar off," I said. "Do you and Cinnamon Tea hang out a lot?"

"Yeah, though not as much as before. He's nice and fun, but a little creepy," she said. "He wants to teach me about sex when I go diamond, and the idea grosses me out... though lately I've been wondering if he really means that because it almost seems like he wants to spook me and he's smart enough that I'm sure he notices it bothers me. Still, he's the only foal in Ponyville who understands what it's like being frozen, so it's good to talk to him now and then."

"That's so weird. Do you start wanting to have sex when you hit forty, or something? I know you can't go through puberty, so I don't understand why they even have diamond collars," I said.

"A lot of ponies don't know this, but that's not what the diamond collars are for. At least, it's not what they used to be for," she explained. "A long time ago they used to let you remove the infinity band if you changed your mind before you turned forty."

"Really? I heard removing a permanent band would kill you—is that a myth?"

"Not exactly a myth, no," she said. "If you take off an infinity band, which you can't do without magic, the magic lingers for a few hours. Then if you don't put it back on you age a bunch all at once. So Cinnamon would probably turn to dust or something, but I'd just turn into an adult. Like, a thirty-five year-old adult. Bam, just like that."

I whistled. "Wow. That's crazy."

"It's kind of neat, I think! But they don't let you do it anymore. Nopony was brave enough to take the band off back when you could, and eventually they decided even giving you the choice was unethical. Nopony would want to do it until they were close to forty, and you'd still be losing your adolescence and stuff, so all the new sensations in your body would be overwhelming and icky," she said. "Having the option just adds a bunch of stress when you get close to forty, for no good reason. So they got rid of the option, and sapphire became permanent."

I nodded and reached over to grab a toy cart, rolling it back and forth on the floor. "Did they just sort of decide diamond would mean sex, then?"

"At that point they were already using diamond as the marker for biological emancipation too. That lets you have sex, and gives you a little more control over some stuff related to your body," she said. "Originally the cutoff was a hundred years, but they pulled it back to forty once some foals complained it was too long of a wait. From what I hear, a lot of foals don't want to have sex even after a hundred years, though. I don't know what Cinnamon sees in it, and I don't really want to. I think his mom would let him do it, but I know Daddy won't agree, so I don't have to worry about him pressuring me. I can use Daddy as an excuse until I have to remarry. I guess I could change my mind later, though."

"Remarry... I didn't even think about that," I said.

"Ponies get old and die, even your parents, and in some cases you have to declare a divorce if they lose the ability to take care of you properly," she explained. "Eventually you gotta remarry. Obviously, Cinnamon's done it a bunch of times."

"What if you don't have any family left?" I asked.

Pop frowned for a moment. "Usually, only your first husband or wife is family. Besides your parents, most family members aren't willing or able to care for a frozen," she said. "I guess my youngest niece could take me, because she'll be old enough pretty soon, but I haven't asked her. I don't think she's interested or else she'd have brought it up by now. It's not a problem, though, because there are tons of adults who want to care for us, so you can stay in foster care while you date and decide."

"This is all so weird," I said. "I wonder how Princess Celestia even came up with the idea."

"Why do we have frozen foals at all, you mean? That's easy. Hope." She buzzed her wings for a moment.

"Hope?"

"Yeah. Children are something everypony can agree are special, and there's this... consistency of sorts, to having foals out there who never die," she said. "It's inspirational. It reminds ponies that life is worth living, to see something pure that never changes. That's my guess, anyway."

"This is a lot to take in," I said, closing my eyes. My mind was racing with so many ideas I couldn't focus on just one.

"Believe me, I know. Also, you probably know this, but you have to stay in lower school until you're twenty-five, because you don't learn stuff as well," she said. "You're allowed to stay until you turn forty and get diamond, which is when you can go to upper school if you want to, but I got bored and left a couple years back. You remember me, right?"

I reopened my eyes. "Yeah, I do. You seemed to know everything, but when I heard you a lot older than you looked, it made sense."

Sweet Pop grinned. "I'm still a foal at heart! That's kind of the point. Hay, do you wanna play trains together?"

Family Time

After an hour or so of play, I said goodbye and headed home. Thunderlane was cooking a delicious smelling stew when I arrived.

"That smells amazing," I said as I walked into the kitchen. "You're a really good cook, Bro."

"Heh, thanks. Did talking with Sweet Pop help you any?" he asked me. He was looking at the stew as he said it, but I detected a hint of worry in his voice.

"It did. She likes being frozen," I said, and frowned. "Are you and Mom cool now, or did you say that just because Pop was with me?"

Thunder sighed and shook his head. "It's as good as it's going to get for now. She apologized and she seemed pretty upset about it, so I decided to stay for the weekend after all," he said. "But she's dead set on you accepting the band, and she doesn't want to hear anything to the contrary. I promised her I wouldn't try to sway you."

For an awkward moment, the only sound was the steel ladle clattering against the sides of the pot.

"So... you gonna keep that promise?" I asked him.

He narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice. "She was asleep with a headache a few minutes ago, but she'll come out if she hears us. Keep your voice down."

I nodded. "Okay. You still want me to say 'no', right?"

My brother sighed. "Rumble... it's not what I would choose for myself, and I think it's a bad idea. I'm not going to stop you if you want to live forever, but I want you to really think this through."

"I want to grow up just like you," I said. "You're awesome, Thunder. You're everything I wish I could be."

Bro blushed. "Well, I appreciate that. Sometimes it's tough being a role model, y'know? I mean, I'm always thinking about how you'll see me. I'm glad you're proud of me, but you gotta be your own pony, too."

"You're starting to sound like Mom," I complained. "I know I have to be myself, and I can't be exactly who you are. But I want the pony I become to be like you. You're awesome."

"Well, that's okay," he said, "but it's okay that you'll be different, too. You'll have your own friends, and your own dreams, and stuff you like to do, and stuff you hate. You'll probably fall in love with somepony special." He turned the burner down on the soup, and the steam thinned.

"Bleah. I don't know about that part," I said. "You don't want foals, do you?"

"I might someday. I'm still pretty young," he said. "But the point is I get to decide those things, and that's important."

"I guess. I think Pop and Cinnamon still get to make decisions. It's just... different," I said. "Right?"

"Not really. You don't get to make most of the decisions about your life if you freeze," he said.

"Well, I don't care about it anyway. I just want to be big," I said. "That way I can be a Wonderbolt, and everypony can look up to me."

Thunder looked a little guilty, and turned his face toward the stew. "I gotta be honest with you, squirt. If all you want is to be looked up to, you don't need to be big for that," he said. "I've been thinking about this since the fight. I don't like the idea of you never growing up, but I'd feel pretty awful if you rejected the band and changed your mind later. Like, if you didn't get what you wanted out of living, then it would be like I ruined your whole life..."

"I guess," I said, then paused in thought. "I might not get what I want out of life even if I live forever, though."

"Yeah. But you have a lot more chances that way, I suppose." Thunderlane closed his eyes and set down the ladle. "Horsefeathers. I hate that this happened. It's not your fault, or anything, but it's a terrible choice to make, and I don't know how to help you."

I flew up and landed on his back for a hug. "It's okay, Bro. Like, if I never got the band, I'd have to go without it, and I'd be fine, wouldn't I? At least this way I get to have a choice at all."

"Foals shouldn't have to think about dying. It isn't right. It's..." His voice trailed off and I felt a sudden tension in his back. I knew exactly what he was thinking.

My voice dropped to a whisper. "Thunder, do you really think Mom put my name in because of Sparklight?"

Thunderlane hugged me back with his wings, then picked me up and set me down. "Of course she did. You were still really young when your older sister passed on, but after Dad died, losing her too... it almost did Mom in. She sent letters to Princess Celestia begging to borrow a collar just long enough to cure her cancer."

"Oh. Does that even work?" I asked him.

"I don't think so, but it didn't stop Mom from trying. That's what moms do, y'know? And maybe Sparklight is why you were chosen. Princess Celestia felt guilty, or something," he said. "It's pointless to guess, though. We'll never know."

My ears drooped. "Right. I guess Mom's scared of losing me too," I said, biting at my lip. "Um, Bro... could I ask you something personal?"

Thunder smiled down at me. "Always, short stuff." He poured some of the stew's broth into a tiny bowl to taste it, then started adding pepper.

I swallowed an empty clot of air. "You said you get to decide whether you have foals or not, so, um... if I really, really wanted you to... would you marry me? Instead of Mom, I mean." I braced myself for disappointment, and I'm sure it showed in my face.

"Oh. Oh gosh, Rumble," said Thunderlane as a deep blush showed in his ears. "Look, guy, you'd be the best frozen foal to care for in the whole world. I'd love to do it, but I just can't take on that kind of responsibility right now. I'm not even ready for a child of my own yet! I'm a 'Bolt, and I wouldn't be able to watch you all the time, and if anything happened to you..."

I nodded my head and clenched my jaw for a moment. "Yeah, I figured. It's okay, it's not your fault."

"I'm sorry. I really wish I could." He turned the heat down even more. "I'd say I could do it later on, but once Mom has you, you'll be hers for life, so I wouldn't have many good years left in me to give you after she's gone."

"It's okay. I love Mom. She'll be great for me, if I decide to do it, I mean," I said. "I know you don't like her as much."

"What? No! I love our Mom, Rumble," he said, and I could tell I hit a nerve. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, you moved out the day you turned seventeen. Literally as soon as you could, you left us," I said.

Thunderlane winced. "I... I needed my space, okay? I'm fine with her now, it's just, you don't know what it was like growing up with her," he whispered, and I could see the pain in his eyes. "When we lost Dad she didn't want to look at me anymore. I reminded her too much of him, I think. After losing Spark, she tried to come back into my life, and I resented it. I spent a lot of time teaching myself how to do stuff so I could grow up, because she wasn't there to teach me herself, then she just waltzes back in and tries to mother me aggressively to make up for lost time, and it was suffocating. I had to get away from that. I just had to."

I bravely held back my emotions, because I felt like crying. "Thunder, I'm real sorry."

He nodded and went back to stirring the stew. "It's okay, though. Mom and I have a great relationship now, minus the recent spat. I love her just as much as you do. I just don't want you to ever suffer through what I had to deal with, especially if you have to do it for the rest of your, well, however many centuries you end up living," he said, glancing back down at me. "Although... I suppose you don't have the same baggage with Mom that I did. You know, you probably remind her of Dad now... you're about the same age I was when Dad passed away..." He got a wistful look in his eyes, and turned his gaze back to the stew.

I sat down on the floor, feeling exhausted. "This is just so weird. Do you know why we have frozen foals in the first place?"

"I'm pretty sure I do," he said, and then he lowered his voice even more as he craned his head down toward me. "It's Princess Celestia. She's totally bonkers."

My eyes widened. "Dude, you're in the military!" I whispered back.

"Hay, I know that, okay? She's amazing, and I respect her all the way. I'd die protecting her, no question about it," he said, his voice defensive. "But she's still crazy after all these centuries. Ponies aren't meant to live that long. She spent hundreds of years all alone, watching everypony she knows die off. That's not a fate I'd wish on anypony. You understand what I'm saying?"

It took a second for me to realize what he was getting at, and then I stood back up. "I get it, yeah."

You don't want me to end up sad and alone like Princess Celestia.

"Frozen foals are the only way she can see consistency from one generation to the next. It makes perfect sense," he said.

I shrugged. "Maybe. If that were true, you'd think she'd get to know us better."

"She probably does. Most frozen foals visit her from time to time, from what I hear. Who knows how well she knows somepony like Cinnamon Tea by now?" he said. "Anyway, the stew is ready. You can go wake Mom from her nap."

I went to wake Mom, and we had a nice, quiet dinner as a family. Emphasis on quiet. The small talk was so awkward and pointless I don't even remember what we discussed.

At least Mom was polite enough to avoid mentioning the elephant in the room in front of Thunder—by which I mean the one choking my skinny colt throat.

I couldn't sleep that night. It almost felt like the band was sucking the life out of me, like a pair of fuzzy hooves from a total stranger trying to strangle me to death. I thought about asking Thunderlane if I could sleep with him, but I knew asking Mom would be a lot less awkward.

I might be a little old for this, I thought, but I still need it.

"Hmm?" Mom said as she roused in the dark.

"Mom... is it okay if I sleep with you tonight?" I asked her from the side of the bed.

"Always," she said cheerfully, and opened the covers. I hopped in next to her. I wanted to cuddle against her warm body, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Fortunately, she took the initiative, and after a swoop of her hoof I there I lay within her legs. "Sweetie, could Mommy... ask you something about your visit with Sweet Pop?" she whispered, her voice tentative.

"I still haven't decided," I whispered back. "I guess I'm leaning toward keeping the band, but I dunno. I know there's a trade-off, but the other frozens seem to be fine with it. I realize I'm not Bro, and I don't have to be like him, but he thinks..." I bit my tongue and winced. I hadn't meant to bring him up, but I wasn't thinking straight.

"It's okay. He loves you, Rumble, just as I do," she said, and gripped me tightly to her barrel. "We just... we didn't always get along when he was young, and it was my fault to be perfectly honest..."

"Yeah. I know," I said. "And I know you both want what's best for me." I hoped that would be the end of it.

I heard a deep sigh, and Mom's legs relaxed slightly. Unfortunately, it felt like her tension fled from her limbs into my barrel. I wasn't looking forward to how she'd take it if I rejected the infinity band.

I was comfortable lying with her, but I couldn't stop thinking in frustration. Do I really have a choice here? What Mom and Thunderlane think of me means so much to me... Why can't they both just...

"Momma Chicken?" came the whisper from above me.

It took me a moment to focus. "What? Ugh, Mom! I'm too old to play Momma Chicken now."

"You're never too old, sweetie," she said, kissing my ears. "Come here."

I paused for a moment, but then I assumed the position: lying face down on the bed with my legs pulled in. Mom mounted me and covered my body with her barrel, then fluffed her wings up against my sides, completely surrounding me with warmth. I could hear her heartbeat fluttering over and over. It was a lot like being in a womb.

"I love my baby chicken," she whispered.

I sighed and relaxed my body, but something tugged at my mind. "Why am I going to be a frozen, Mom? Why is any foal frozen?"

It took her a moment. "Well... I don't know, Rumble. But I don't care, either. I'm just glad you're here with me." She pulled her body more tightly around mine.

Wasn't I too old for this, I wondered? Then it hit me.

If I freeze, I'll never be too old for anything.

The thought terrified me, but the comfort of my mother's wings helped it to fade. It was the first time I ever fell asleep playing Momma Chicken.

Cinnamon Tea

On Saturday, I decided to pay Cinnamon Tea a visit. I headed to his house and knocked on the door.

A pretty mare wearing too much makeup and jangly bracelets and earrings answered the door. "Oh! Rumble is it? Cinnamon's been expecting you," she said. "Come right in."

I walked into the house. It looked like she'd just cleaned everything in sight, and it smelled a little like bleach. Even the knickknacks on the shelf were perfectly spaced and aligned.

She led me to what I assumed was Cinnamon's room, judging from the "Danger! Imperial Awesome Zone" poster on the door. "Darling, he's here," she said.

The door opened. Cinnamon stood in front of me, wearing his diamond collar. He's a plain-looking unicorn foal with vibrant violet eyes and an oddly curved horn. "I was wondering when you'd show," he said with a grin. "Thanks, Mom." The mare leaned down and kissed him on the lips, lingering for an awkward second.

I raised a brow. "You knew I'd come by? I'm surprised you didn't come get me, actually."

"You live for a while, you learn patience," he said, then ushered me into his room and closed the door behind us.

"Why is your horn curved like that?" I asked. "Is that like, a tattoo or something?"

"Oh, I'm an Eastern unicorn," he said. "I used to keep the tip sharp, too, as is our custom, but that was centuries ago. Since I moved to Equestria I've kept it filed down so I don't stab somepony by accident."

"Wow. Can you speak other languages?" I asked. "You sound totally like an Equestria colt."

"Thanks. It took me a hundred years or so to switch accents, and accents have changed here too over the past few hundred years," he revealed. "As for languages, I once knew six but I forgot all of them but two. You don't retain rote knowledge unless you rehearse it, and it isn't worth the amount of time you'd need to dedicate. I remember my native tongue, but I'm pretty rusty: wǒ xiǎng jiào shìjiè wéixiào." The strange way he spoke surprised me so much, I forgot to ask for a translation. It sounded like his voice was wiggling up and down every time he hit a vowel.

"Um... I've heard sometimes unicorns keep their horns sharp if they're in the military," I said. I was clearly out of my element. "I dunno if it's like that."

"That's not true in peacetime. Horns aren't what you want to hit the enemy with, anyway," he said. "I didn't start filing it down immediately, but eventually it became a hazard for hugs and cuddles, which are way more important than accidentally stabbing adults in the neck. Eastern unicorn ponies aren't as touchy-feely as the folks out here are. My family wanted me to keep it sharp even after we moved, mainly for protection, but eventually they gave in."

Since I was out of words, I took a moment to look around the room. Cinnamon's bedroom was remarkably different from every other foal's room I'd ever been in. There were toys in a basket, but none on the floor. There was an electric guitar in a stand, and a shelf with several other musical instruments. He had a low-set easel and paints, and a painting in progress of what looked like a cloud kingdom with golden buildings and strange birds. Even incomplete, it was undeniably beautiful.

"Wow. You paint," I stated the obvious. "And you're good at it!"

"I'm no Mycowangelo, but thanks! Don't taste any of the paint, though, it's all toxic," he warned me. "I play a bunch of instruments too, in case that was your next question. This one's called an ocarina." He picked up a strange flute-like thing and trilled a few pleasant-sounding notes from it, then set it back down.

"Oh, right. Sweet Pop said you were like, centuries old or something," I said.

"Yep! Two-hundred ninety-three years young," he said. "I'd be way older, but I timeported into the future once when I was mourning one of my spouses. Got in a lot of trouble, long story. Anyway, music's easier to retain. Muscle memory stuff and day-to-day stuff you can remember, so I'm really good at those things. Book smarts you keep forgetting. I do about a half-hour of vocab study most mornings. You?"

"Dude, I'm nine," I said. "You're like, a dozen times older than me! Or more, even."

"Yeah, a lot more. Nine's pretty old for a newly frozen foal, though. You're lucky getting in that late," he said. "I was eight, which was normal back then, but nowadays they almost always do them younger. Oh, and I'm one-twenty-sixth."

I sat down on the floor next to the easel. "A twenty-sixth?"

"I'm the hundred and twenty-sixth oldest frozen foal at the moment, though I have the second-oldest birthdate of any of us! I don't usually spread that around, though, so keep it under your hat, okay? The timeport knocked me all the way down to a hundred and twenty-seventh, but one of the others died in an accident about a century ago," he said. "Celie clamped down even harder on our autonomy after that incident."

I narrowed my eyes. "Celie?"

He reared up and gestured tall. "You know, horn and wings, huge and white, weird long neck, mane and tail made out of gelatin or magical ghost slime or something because hair doesn't actually do that..."

"Oh, Princess Celestia. Do you know her?"

"Not as well as I'd like to," he joked, with a wink. "But I know her pretty well, and we spend more time together as I get older. I visit her in Canterlot every once in a while."

"Eww. Was that a sex joke?" I asked, cringing.

"Yeah, champ. That was totally a sex joke," he said with a grin. "I can't legally talk to you about detailed sex stuff until you turn forty, though. Unless you want to know about relationships with your spouse in, like, a general sense."

"Wait, what? You mean with your mom, that mare?" I felt the muscles in my back tighten up. "Dude. Don't even joke about doing it with your mom. That's... that's just sick."

"She's not my biological mom, obviously. I mean, that'd be illegal, at least if you got caught doing it anyway. My original mom died a very, very long time ago," he said. "Also, I can't say anything about the Mom you just met, because you're not supposed to talk about who you have sex with while they're still alive. There's a bunch of laws about it. You can only reveal your current sex partners to other ponies you have sex with, and to other diamonds. But outside of my real Mom, all my dead spouses? Totally."

I recoiled in disgust. "That is so gross! I mean, isn't your spouse supposed to be like, your substitute parents, or something? You even call her Mom!"

Cinnamon grabbed a mandolin in his magic and cocked his head as he pulled it into his hooves, then plucked a few strings manually. "Basically yeah, but you need your owner's permission to have sex with anypony at all, so it's easiest if you're just intimate with them," he said. "I mean, if you're gonna spend sixty years of your life with somepony, wouldn't you want to be close to them?"

My brow knitted tightly. "I guess, but they've got like, power over you, don't they? Isn't that some kind of abuse? I mean, I know you're old, so you're not a normal foal, but still..."

"It's an exchange of power. Taking care of a frozen foal is more than just being a parent. It's a lifetime commitment, for them anyway, and you can't just decide to get a divorce without strong justification," he explained. "As for you, you're not the boss anymore. Somepony else gets to tell you what to do with your life. That's just the way it is. But they can't force you to be intimate if you don't want it. Plus, they usually want it more than you do, which gives you leverage."

"I guess if you're mostly an adult in a foal's body, it's not that horrible. I still don't like thinking about it, though," I said, frowning.

"Well, I'll be honest about one thing. I may be nearly three centuries old, but I'm still not exactly an adult. Even when you hit forty, messing around is a little dangerous because you stay emotionally immature," he explained. "An imperial colt never gets total control of his feelings, but you learn strategies to deal with them over time. And it's easier when you have a caregiver who is always there for you, because abandonment isn't an issue."

"Imperial colt?" I blinked a few times.

"Oh, right. That's what we used to call frozen foals: imperial colts and imperial fillies. They changed it because it sounds too pompous, y'know? We really don't want to make ponies envious, because it might put us in danger," he said. "Plus, I used to be royalty out East. I renounced it after the timeport, though. Being a frozen foal is enough of a distraction and being foreign royalty only made the attention worse. Sometimes Sweet Pop and I call each other Imperial, just for fun, but the nickname was way before her time. I guess 'Imperial Colt' can't be my nickname anymore now that there's two of us in town, but you and I can still call each other that if you want."

It actually sounded like fun. It was like I was being invited into a really exclusive club. In a way, I guess I was. "Cinnamon, can I ask a general question about sex? Why do you like it? You never hit puberty, right?"

He smiled. "Sex... is about more than just the physical feelings. It's about the closeness, and the weirdness, and sharing love. The emotions are still there, and there's some physical enjoyment too, but it's... different."

"Different?" I asked.

"Yeah. Adults describe sex being 'electric' or 'volcanic' or 'passionate', but for diamonds it's more like... It feels like... parasprites in your belly," he said, clearly struggling to put it into words. "Like, you fall in love with somepony, and you want to share everything with them because you trust them completely and you always want them to be happy, and it just tickles you deep inside whenever you're reminded of that connection."

"Huh. That's kind of cute," I said, then paused in thought. "Wait a minute. If you can have sex with normal adults, and they're attracted to you, then even if you're way older than they are..."

Cinnamon chuckled. "They're foal fiddlers? Well, sure! That's the whole point of frozen foals, dude."

It took me a moment to close my gaping jaw before opening it again to speak. "W-what?"

"Think about it. We're like a wet dream come to life for pedofoals. The biggest problem with perverts who like foals is that when the foal gets a little older, they lose interest, and it's emotionally shattering for the foal," he said, skreetching his hoof across the strings to produce a horrible, dissonant sound. "That's the main reason it's illegal: relationships are toxic enough when you're a mature adult, but getting dumped by somepony who says they'll love you forever when you're just a child? That can mess you up for life. But this way, they get to love somepony they're attracted to long-term, and you get the most committed caregiver you could ever hope for. It's like having a Mom and a wife at the same time. Win-win."

"Oh, yuck! I refuse to believe Princess Celestia created frozens to 'do it' with foal fiddlers!" I said, feeling nauseous. "Seriously, colt. That's the dumbest theory I've heard yet, and I've heard a bunch."

Cinnamon waved a dismissive hoof. "Dumb? I think it makes perfect sense. Though, I also think she did it because she wants foals herself. An alicorn and an imperial would have a truly eternal relationship, which is one of the reasons I've always wanted to be closer to Celie. Plus, it's the only way an alicorn could ever have a lifelong relationship with a male, because stallions can't ascend."

"We don't know that for sure," I countered. "And Princess Celestia is NOT a pervert. Stop saying stupid things like that."

Cinnamon set down the mandolin and sighed. "Okay, fine. It's just a guess. I'll admit it, I've never had any luck with her. Not that I could legally tell you if I had, of course," he said, with a wry smile. "Still, every spouse I've had since my initial Mom has been 'that way', and they were all very respectful and worked out fine."

"Just... wow. How many owners have you had?" I asked.

"Six, including both my real Mom and the lady I currently call 'Mom'," he said. "I lucked out that they all lasted a long time."

"Ohmygosh. You met five perverts in a row who wanted to marry you?!"

"Three, at least. I can't tell you anything about the one you just met, and the one after my real Mom didn't want to be intimate at first." He grinned and added, "I changed that pretty quickly, though. There are plenty of mares and stallions desperate for a colt, if you know what I mean. Some just don't know it yet."

"Stallions?" I said, unable to keep the surprise out of my voice. "Oh, right. I don't like fillies or anything, but I can't imagine being attracted to other colts."

"After your first marriage your suitors will mostly be males because they want it a lot more. You probably never thought about being with a stallion, but it's fun. And trust me, if you live long enough, you'll be into everything," he said with a shrug, as though it were the most normal thing in the world. Then he sat down beside me and whispered, "Most of my owners let me do stuff with other ponies, as long as they get to watch. One of my daddies used to host grand parties, and we'd even have other frozens there. Really wild stuff!"

"I can't believe this is legal. I just can't. You're talking about... It's..." I held my hooves over my ears and clenched my eyes shut.

I heard a sigh. After a few moments, Cinnamon peeled my hooves free and I looked up at his face. He looked sad. "Sorry for squicking you, dude. I know it's really weird, but you should be prepared for the future, right? And maybe you should be a little creeped out going into this, y'know?" he said, pausing for a moment like he was waiting for the message to sink in. "But don't worry, even after you turn forty, you never have to have sex! Refusing to have sex is the only thing in a frozen's life we have total and complete control over. I see it as my civic duty to share, Mommy willing, but if I have an owner who's open to me having sex with somepony—and when you date them you find out, as long as they don't lie or change their minds—then doing it becomes my decision alone. That's the best thing about sex. Everything is your call. You gotta cherish that tiny amount of power you still have left in your life."

I looked down at the floor for a moment. It looked like it had just been vacuumed, not a speck of dirt in sight. "I don't get it. What power am I losing by becoming a frozen? Are you like, a slave, or something? I mean, you and Pop seem like pretty normal foals to me."

Cinnamon Tea laughed brightly. "Oh, not at all! Nothing like that. You're not giving up much to be immortal, Rumble. You're only abandoning the power you would have ended up with if you decided to grow up instead," he explained. "Even though I feel like I'm missing out sometimes, that kind of power is mostly an illusion. Instead of having to do chores that your owner tells you to do, you'd have to force yourself to do them, which is a lot harder. Instead of having to live with your owner, you'd have to get a job and do stuff you don't enjoy, and being on your own is lonely anyway. There's no guarantee you'd find anypony you like to spend your life with. Being old gets increasingly painful and difficult. No life is perfect, but a frozen's life is as close to perfection as it gets. We just pretend like it sucks so mortal adults will feel like they still have something we don't."

I exhaled deeply. "I guess... it's not that bad then. But doesn't it bother you that you don't have any power over your life?"

Cinnamon stood back up and frowned. "A little. It isn't perfect, like I said. When you're frozen, your life doesn't really belong to you. You don't get to decide a lot of stuff. You have to do what your owner tells you, and it's like that forever," he said. "But that's true for mortal adults, too! Adults have to get a job and do things they don't want to in order to make life tolerable. We're driven by our owners, and they're driven by fate. We get the better end of the deal, especially when you have a lenient owner. Being frozen is where it's at."

"Okay." I couldn't begin to weigh all the possibilities running through my head. "Cinnamon... do you think I'll be weird like you someday? Uh, no offense."

"None taken, and probably. The older you are, the weirder you get," he said. "I have a therapist I see every week, which is a given after almost three centuries of memories. Don't sweat it, though. You have decades before you have to worry about any of this, and you'll have an amazing, mostly normal life during that time, and then you get to keep on living after that too. Live for today! Be yourself! That's what being a foal is all about." Cinnamon levitated the mandolin back into place on the shelf.

I wonder if I'll be a neat freak someday, I thought to myself. Or have horrifying sex parties...

"I think I need a b-break," I stammered. My voice was catching in my throat. It was too much input all at once.

"Yeah, let it settle. And hay, if you hit forty, and you ever stop feeling creeped out, come see me. I can tell you a lot more then, as long as I have your mom's permission of course," he said.

Then he smiled and winked at me again, and I immediately decided it was time to leave.

Growing Up

It was a hard decision to make, so in the end, I didn't make it at all. As the next few days passed without incident, Mom assumed the default: I was going to accept the band. Then I started assuming it too. I never sat down with a pencil and paper or anything to weigh all the pros and cons. It just... slowly became obvious.

I didn't want to let Mom down, and I was sure Thunderlane would forgive me right away. I definitely didn't want to grow old and die. I was pretty sure Cinnamon was right about the tradeoffs. At the very least, my life with Mom would be a good life, and then I'd have even more "lives" to live afterwards.

So what if I always need a parent to look out for me? Everypony says being a foal is something to be cherished. It's the best time of your life, right?

In the end, I guess it just came down to the simple fact that I liked being a foal. So things moved forward, and we made our wedding plans for the weekend. Princess Celestia was busy, so Princess Twilight Sparkle would be officiating in her place. To avoid a tremendous crowd, only Ponyville residents would be allowed to attend, unless we had specific ponies to invite (we didn't).

It wasn't like I ever settled completely, though. I knew I could still back out if I got cold hooves. You have to wait at least a week before getting married, but they give you as much time to decide as you need. I don't think anypony ever took longer than a month, though. It's a pretty obvious decision. Being frozen is a really big gift. Weird, but big.

So Friday evening after school (a week from my banding), Mom took me to the Carousel Boutique to get fitted for the wedding.

I stood up straight at attention as Rarity altered my tux, while Mom sat in a chair in the other room, reading a fashion magazine (at least, that's what she was doing when I left her there).

"Rumble, you will look fabulous when I'm done with you," said Rarity, and then she lowered the volume of her voice. "It's too bad your mother opted to wear her old wedding gown. I'd rather have updated it for her, but at least I can make your outfit complement hers..."

"Ugh. It's icky. She married Dad in that thing," I whispered.

Rarity frowned. "Confidentially? I couldn't agree more. I'd rather the fashion traditions for frozen weddings differed significantly from the standard kind," she whispered back. "It must feel unseemly to 'marry' your actual mother. But, the two kinds of marriage do have many similarities. This isn't just a legal arrangement, or an agreement to remain young. Your mother is giving the remainder of her life to you, Rumble. You must realize the gravity of that gift. That's the whole purpose of the ceremony."

"And my gift, too," I huffed. "I won't ever get to make my own decisions, you know? We're both giving up something big! Of course I want to live forever, but it's so weird that this is even a thing in the first place. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm going through with it now, but I still don't understand it."

Rarity smiled. "Oh, I think I do. Princess Celestia made it a thing, as a special offering just for you."

I jerked my shoulder slightly as she shifted the tux in front. "Me? But why?"

"Well, she can't freeze every foal, or our population would die out. But she can save just a few of us. This is generosity at its finest," said Rarity, pinning the neckpiece carefully in place. "You shall be young, spry, healthy, and handsome forever. What better gift could there possibly be than eternal youth?"

I didn't want to admit it, but I couldn't think of one.

The wedding took place on Sunday. It was held in a large open area at Sweet Apple Acres. The whole town was there. After Sweet Pop, Cinnamon Tea, and I had our pictures taken together (as planned), I approached Princess Twilight Sparkle. She was all by herself, standing by an apple tree as guests took their seats some distance away. She was staring at the barn in the distance for some reason I couldn't guess.

"P-princess?" I called as I walked up to her. I tugged nervously at my tux.

She turned and smiled brightly down at me. She had her crown and a formal gown on, though some mud was getting on the hem. "Hello, Rumble. You can call me Twilight, if you want. I trust you're excited for your big day?"

I looked at the ground, then back up to her face. "Y-yeah. I wanted to ask you something, though," I said.

She nodded solemnly. There was nopony nearby us. "You can ask me anything at all." Her voice sounded strangely authoritative.

I swallowed. "Do you think I should do this? The infinity band, I mean."

Her eyes softened. "I... can't decide that for you, Rumble. But if you're not absolutely certain you want to do this, we need to call off the wedding now. We can postpone it—"

"No, no," I said, waving a hoof. "I do want to do it. I just want to know what you think."

"I'm afraid it isn't up to me. What I think isn't relevant," she whispered.

I narrowed my eyes. "You don't believe that."

Twilight sighed. "Okay, that came out badly. I'm flattered that you respect my opinion, but there honestly isn't a right or wrong answer to this one," she said. "It's a trade-off, like all things in life."

"It's not a trade-off for you," I pointed out. "You get to live forever, and be an adult too."

Twilight visibly stiffened. "Yes, and it isn't fair. However, it is a trade-off for me. I have centuries ahead of me in which I'll be responsible for the prosperity of an entire nation. I'll have to live with some of the consequences that you will, like seeing friends pass me by," she said. "I didn't ask for what I received. Unlike you, I wasn't really given a choice."

I paused. "Would you have made the choice? To become an alicorn, I mean."

"For the good of Equestria, of course—"

"Not Equestria. Just for you," I said.

Her face seemed pained. "I... I don't know, Rumble. Probably... I don't know. Look, it's a hard choice to have to consider, and I've never had to think about it."

I frowned. "Do you still think you have the better deal, not getting a choice?"

The princess said nothing, but she shook her head.

"I had to think about this stuff all week, and I'm nine."

Twilight placed a hoof over her face. "Okay. I'm very sorry. I'm calling off the ceremony now."

"No! Please! I want to do it, I swear," I quickly interjected. "I just... I just want to know why, okay? Why did Princess Celestia start doing this? Everypony has a different stupid theory, and none of them make any sense! Just tell me why I'm doing it. Please?"

Twilight sighed more deeply this time, and her neck slumped so far I thought her crown would topple off. "I'm not allowed to say, as you probably know," she said.

I rolled my eyes and turned around, but I felt her hoof touch my wing and tug me back. I turned my head, and she was wiping one of her eyes with a wingtip.

"Rumble, what do you know about death?" she asked me.

"Um, well, you die, and that's it. I mean, you kind of wake up somewhere else, and that never really stops happening, but you're gone from wherever you were, practically forever," I said. "It's too complicated to explain to foals, so they just tell us you wake up from a dream in another world, and you stop being 'you', and you're something else now."

"That's right. And while death may be a new beginning in an abstract sense, it's also an ending for you, because everything has an ending. Nothing can last forever except forever itself, Rumble," she explained. "That ending we all face is something our brains are actually hard-wired to prevent us from thinking about."

"Pfft, I wish! I've been thinking about death all week," I complained.

"No, you haven't. Not really," said Twilight, her face suddenly serious. "The research is very clear. Sapient creatures could not function if we were able to ponder freely about our own deaths. Our brains shield us from existential fear by categorizing death as an event that only ever happens to other ponies."

"I... I guess I don't understand," I said, shrugging.

"Your brain is constantly analyzing your future, Rumble. How will you feel when you see your mother in a wedding dress in a few minutes? What will you eat for breakfast tomorrow? When will you have your next fight with a friend?" she asked me, and then her voice softened. "These are all questions we consider daily. But we can only ask what will happen when we die by pretending it's purely hypothetical. Your brain literally will not allow you to consider the true possibility of your own death. This is why ponies are so bad at judging dangerous situations, and die from silly things like accidental falls. We can't weigh the likelihood of a simple fate we're all destined for. Overconfidence is literally built into how we think, because it's the only way any of us can function without going insane."

I lifted a hoof to point at her, and I noticed it was shaking. "Are y-you trying to scare me? I already said I wanted to do this!"

She shook her head and leaned down right in front of my face. "I'm sorry. I'm honestly not trying to frighten you. I just don't know how to say..." she whispered, then paused for a moment and looked me right in the eyes. "Rumble, all good ponies try to do things that we believe will provide the most benefit to society. The greatest good is friendship: the willingness to put others before oneself. Without it, civilization would be impossible. Friendship always requires sacrifice. Fortunately, life, especially moments like these, prepares us. It enables us to learn how to give selflessly."

I stood there for a moment, listening to the murmur of the crowd and the dissonant strains of instruments from the band being tested and checked. Princess Twilight Sparkle never took her unblinking eyes off mine, and I was too afraid to peel mine from hers. Finally, something hit me.

"Today... is about more than just me, isn't it?" I asked.

She nodded. "Exactly. And you don't have to do this. However, whichever decision you make, you are growing up today. Do you understand what I mean by that?"

"Yeah." I finally broke eye contact as I closed and rested my eyes. "Thank you, Princess. I'll see you at the podium."

Before she could say anything that would make it more awkward, I turned and cantered back to the crowd. I would have tilted at a full gallop, but I didn't want my tux to get all muddy.

A few minutes later, Mom and I took our places for the ceremony, at the back of the crowd.

Princess Twilight Sparkle stood up at the podium. "Let us begin," she said. The band began to play a tune I didn't recognize. I noticed Cinnamon in the band, playing the ocarina he'd shown me before. It was neat to see a foal—well, a frozen foal, at least—playing an instrument among a dozen adults, just like a real grown-up. It settled my nerves a little.

As tradition had it, my future Owner walked to the podium all by herself, to light applause. Then the music paused, and the band began to play "Here Comes the Foal."

"That's our cue," whispered Thunderlane, in his own tux. He looked very proud of me, even though it wasn't the decision he would have made.

You know, maybe that's why he's proud of me, I realized.

I took his hoof in mine and we began marching to the podium as everypony stared. I was super nervous, so I tried to focus straight ahead. Seeing the welcoming face of Mom in her beautiful gown helped a lot. As I passed the Bearers, I heard Pinkie Pie say something about some sort of 'obvious allegory', but Applejack quickly shushed her.

I finally ended up at the podium, and Thunderlane stepped to the side. I turned to face Mom. She looked proud, happy but tearful, and excited. I hadn't realized how important this was to her until now. We were both giving our lives away, and she had no regrets. I felt an incredible weight pressing down on my withers.

Princess Twilight rambled on about frozen marriage while I stared into my mother's eyes, ignoring the speech. Then she spoke loudly to catch my attention.

"Rumble, I need you to look at me for a moment," said Twilight, once again staring intently into my eyes. "I want you to think very carefully about this question. Are you certain you want to give your life to your mother, as well as all your future Owners to come? If you aren't absolutely certain, we will delay the wedding, and nopony will blame you. This must be your decision alone."

At that moment, I realized this wasn't just the biggest decision of my life. It was the last real decision I'd be able to make for decades.

Then I looked back up at Mom and smiled. She was so happy she was in tears, and her being happy made me feel happy, too. Of course I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her—the rest of her life, at least. She's my mother! What colt to a loving mother could honestly say no?

I knew the truth. Diamond Tiara was right. Miss Cheerilee must be insane.

"I am," I announced, clearly and loudly. With that declaration, all the weight lifted from my saddle.

Twilight paused a moment, then smiled. "Then I declare you Frozen, Rumble, and recognize your union as Colt and Wife." Everypony stomped with raucous applause. Thunderlane held out a pillow on which a sparkling blue sapphire rested. Twilight cast a teleport spell to switch it with the ruby, and I saw a momentary blue glow at the bottom of my vision.

It was done. "You may kiss, if you wish," she said.

I smiled as Mom leaned down, and we quickly kissed. It was just a light peck on the lips from Mother to Son, entirely platonic, exactly as it should be.

Naturally, I was altogether unprepared for the parasprites squirming through my belly.