Better Than Best Friendsby ROBCakeran53ChaptersChapter 1: Puddle Worms: The GatheringChapter Turd: Hot wheels are Awesome: Puddle Ponies are Lame.4 Chapter: Spoopy Woods Or: How the Feast Was WonChapter Half Dozen: Elements of Puddles or: How to Worm your way to Success.Chapter Too: Friendship is Puddles: Heroism and the WormsChapter 5: Storming the Castle: 5 Golden RingsChapter 1: Puddle Worms: The GatheringPonyville. A strange town… Full of stranger ponies… Even more fuller of strangerest things. Yes, this was the town I came to do stuff and things. At first, friends were the dumbs. Who needs them? I have my hella wack skateboard, I can travel the world. Yet, strange as it sounds… I’ve made friends. Princess Poopybottom told me I had to make friends. So I tried, but then I got hungry so ate all the macaroni art, and now Elmer’s is my favorite snack for a while maybe. However, here I am, before Her Highness, with new friends that I’m pretty sure aren’t edible. Maybe. Probably for emergency midnight snack times. “Well Twilight, how has your friend-finding journey been going?” I beam. Really, it went well, but words are not needed. I scoot to right. Then scoot to the left. Do the cha cha cha, then do it again. Princess Celestia looks on, brow raised, but once the important Friendship Dance ™ is completed, I show her my new bestest friends. Her smile, once big and bright, slowly shifts downward into a frown, eyes low and ears nearly flat. “Oh nooooooooooo, Twilight,” she draws out the N word, which isn’t the Z word so I shall forgive her this time, “you can’t be friends with the puddle worms.” What? Why? My heart, it begins to shatter into a million little Twiggles, all gnashing their hungry jaws against my rib cage so they could escape and devour the evil Princess Poopybottom. I look to my new friends: Julian, YuGi, Domo, Arigato, and Mister Roboto. They are hurt, hurt by her words. But I have to be strong, for them. They are important to me. It seems she is not finished, however. “Also one of those may be a Ramen Noodle… Luna must have dropped it.” How dare she make fun of Mr. Roboto’s skin condition! He was working on his complexion. “I’m sorry, Twilight, but you need to put them back wherever you found them.” She dare tell me, Twiggles the Almighty and Twerkiful, to banish my friends back to those cursed apple fields? Neigh, I say! She shall not tell me what to do, or how to do it. Just because she is Princess Poopybottom 2 (since she is now even worser than before) doesn’t mean she can control my life, or my friends. “Neigh.” I sure told her. Am I good or what? Celestia places a hoof to her forehead, shaking her head back and forth. “Oh, Twilight, what ever am I going to do with you?” This is my chance: My break, I can take them, all of them, away from here. She is distracted by a false hope filled with morning walks and tea flavored tea, which tastes bad but twice as much. I gather my friends, and we flee! Flee, I tell you! Or me, in this case. I tell me, we flee! Princess Celestia watches as her pupil scurries away like a slug in hot tar. “She forgot her skateboard again.” The Royal Guard beside her nods his head, then walks over to pick up the filly and place her on his back. Twilight’s magic glows, and her… friends… follow along as the guard carries Twilight out of the throne room. As the doors close, she can see and hear Twilight smacking his armor, go faster my steed! The doors latch, and Celestia is left pondering… wondering… “Was it because I dropped her that one time?” Celestia looked down to her other guard. “I’m not a bad teacher, am I?” Chapter Turd: Hot wheels are Awesome: Puddle Ponies are Lame.There are other ponies in my tree house. This is my tree house, how did they break the super secret code word to enter? "Uh, girls? Twiggles is here." Orange says. "Oh great, just what we need. Bad enough that Nightmare Moon stuck us in an ever lasting night, now we have to foalsit Twilight." Twiggles glares at the white one. She will die first. "Oh don't worry, Twiggles! We are gonna go into that big, scary, evil forest and defeat Black Snooty!" Pinkie Pie, the only sensible pone, says while hugging The Twig. "Yeah, about that, what exactly are we doing about that?" asks the fast- She is playing with my Hot Wheels. My list needs revision. Slowly I scoot on my hella wack Tony Hawk skateboard towards the blue offender. I glare. "What?" she asks, like she doesn't know what she had done. Then she crashes two of them. I cry; weeping for the damage done, which can never be. "Goin' into the Everfree, Dash. We gotta stop Nightmare Moon!" "Oh, right," she discards my Hot Wheels, even going so far as to step a hoof on one of my orange track pieces. My list grows hungry, like me. I want a cheesey burger. "Come on, Twiggles! Let's go save Princess Celestia!" Pinkie ties a rope to my hella wack skateboard, and begins dragging me away. I reach out for my Hot Wheels. I just wanted to sit alone in my tree house and play with them. Now they shall remain cold and alone on the wood floor. At least I still have my best- They are gone. They left me, alone. Probably to play with my Hot Wheels. Or eat my frozen cheesey burgers in the ice box. As my tree house door closes, I cry, for nothing else matters anymore. Author's Note Writing this story between helping with Thanksgiving dinner. Had to make a Kroger run and Hot Wheels were on sale, so wrote this up while I waited to pay. https://imgur.com/a/GsuHMsT Pick your favorite! This will be super important to the plot of the story. 4 Chapter: Spoopy Woods Or: How the Feast Was WonI managed to grab a Hot Wheels before we got far. Thankfully I keep emergency ones in my sand box outside. Now we go to the woods. They are dumb and not really fun. Smelly stuff grows there. I don't know why I am being taken there other than Princess Poopybottom 2 will be there. Then she will rub my friends leaving me in my face. Mood. "So why are we bringing her again?" Rainbow Dash asks, nodding back at Twiggles. "She is the Princesses pet or whatever. Figure she might be able to… I dunno, sniff her out." Rainbow hovers over Applejack. "Sniff her out? I don't think the Princess smells like cheese burgers." "Well, it can't hurt to bring her, right?" "Poot." Everypony stops, looking back at Twiggles. "What?" asks Rainbow. She points ahead. Everypony looks to where she is pointing. A manicure is calmly standing there, brow raised. An embroidered white handkerchief tied around his neck with the words “Hungry Like a Tiger” and a cute, cartoon looking tiger holding a fork and spoon. Applejack raised her hat, rubbing her brow. “Oh, huh. How’d we miss that?” Dummies they are. I watch them fight, I watch them struggle. But I’m no dummy. I know what he wants. I know what we all want. I open the hammer space pouch on my skateboard, and pull out an emergency cheesey burger. I know what I must do: A sacrafice, I must- Opening the lid, my eyes grow wide. Of course, how could I have forgotten? There are my best friends! All safe and sound, sharing my emergency cheesey burger. “Sorry, Friends. We must do this.” I remove them from the box, to place them on my hella wack skateboard, and throw the cheesey burger at the manticore. It lands three feet in front of me. “What’s goin’ on? Why did it stop?” A panting Applejack asks. “Look! Twiggles did something!” Pinkie Pie says with a bounce. The manticore approaches Twiggles, looking from her to the cheese burger. “Friends,” she says, pointing to- “Ewww, are those worms? Why does she have worms?” Rarity screamed. The manticore nodded, takes the burger, and leaves. “Uh… what just happened?” Rainbow asks. Applejack shrugs. “I think Twiggles just saved us?” Everypony stands and watches as Twiggles rolls past them on her hella wack skateboard, the awesome glow in the dark neon wheels cutting a patch as she goes. Pinkie Pie bounces after, and reluctantly, everypony else follows. It takes several yards of following for somepony to ask the obvious. “Where’s Fluttershy?” Everypony looks to Rainbow. “Oh yeah, come to think of it, I haven’t seen her since we entered the forest.” “Wait, did she leave us?” “No,” says Twiggles, opening her hammer space storage Tech Deck ™ add on. Fluttershy is violently thrown from the storage container. “Fluttershy!” Everypony says, rushing over. “Darling, what happened to you? Why were you in there?” “And what is that smell?” Rainbow uses her wings to fan at her pegasus friend. “So… many… cheese burgers…” Fluttershy stammers, shaking. Everypony looks to Twiggles. She is sharing another cheese burger with her worms. “You know, I’m starting to get used to this eternal night gig. Maybe we should just cut our losses?” “No way, Rarity. We have ta save the Princess!” Applejack stomps a hoof. “We’re almost there, I’m sure of it! Right, Twiggles?” She’s gone. “Oh what the hay.” Now that I have my friends back, I shall prove to Princess Poopybottom 2 how amazing they are, save the day, and she will have to take me back to Hooters. I come to water. The water is still. I remember, Princess telling me no splashy unless I have floaties. I place my bestest best friends back in the cheesey burger box, put that back in my Tech Deck ™ storage compartment, and then push on with my hella wack Tony Hawk skateboard. Wood floats, so this should work out just fine. “Oh, I found her,” Fluttershy says, breaking through some thick foliage along a river. “Oh thank goodness! I was so worried.” “Really?” Applejack asks. Rarity shakes her head. “No, not particularly, but I felt the remark was apt for the occasion.” “Uh, what’s that thing?” Everypony follows where Rainbow Dash is pointing. “Ah yes, it looks like a sea serpant is trying to eat Twiggles,” Rarity says. “Do you think she tastes like cheese burgers?” asks Pinkie. Applejack sighs, pulling out her lasso to do the dirty work. I have learned a very important lesson about Friendship. Tony Hawk lied to me. His hella wack skateboards don’t float like a butterfly or a bee. Suddenly, a water snake pops out, ready to eat me. I don’t want to be eaten. “Hang on, Twiggles! I got ya!” Orange shouts from the water’s edge. From my Tech Deck ™, I pull out my trusty tool for when I’m faced with stranger danger. “Wait, what!?” Orange shouts. It only takes five rounds of .500 Smith and Wesson to drop the water snake. Wait, was it five… or six? Either way, I win. Author's Note People will be showing up soon for dinner. I'm hoping to finish up to Nightmare Moon battle by the end of today, but we'll see. Onward, to stupidity! Chapter Half Dozen: Elements of Puddles or: How to Worm your way to Success.“Weh.” Slowly, groggily, everypony stood up from the prone positions on the castle floors. “Weeeeeh!” The five mares of what should have been destiny look to each other, then to Twiggles. Her stubby legs wiggle in the air helplessly as she rocks herself side to side. Stuck on her back like a turtle, the sound of pleading and bargaining with Death is heard using but a single word. “Weh.” “So, did we win?” Rainbow asks. Suddenly, there is a bright light from the window as the sun comes up, and Princess Celestia appears. “Yes, you did my little ponies. You all saved Equestria from a dire threat. I’m so proud of you, especially you Twi- oh no.” Celestia’s magic grabs the closest mare, Applejack, and brings her up close for inspection. Awkwardly, the mare rubs the back of her head. “Yeah, so this is pretty crazy, but we didn’t really do much other than get our flanks handed to us by Nightmare Moon.” “Twiggles and her puddle worms saved us!” Pinkie sings, bouncing into view. Dropping Applejack, Celestia stares blankly off into the distance. “I can’t believe it…” “Hey, uh, should we help Twiggles?” Rarity looks to Rainbow, then to Twiggles. “No, darling, I think she’s got it.” “Builds character,” Applejack adds, rubbing her rudely dropped rump. After several more awkward minutes of silence, save for Twiggle’s “WEH” and Celestia having an existential crisis, Fluttershy assists Twiggles onto her stubby legs, and rejoins her five puddle friends on her hella wack Tony Hawk skateboard with neon green wheels (that are currently not glowing in the dark because the sun is up which is kinda lame now). Resting on top of the skateboard was the pimp hat, now adorned with a golden crown and a half eaten cheesey burger as the center piece. “We are done crying alone in the corner now, sister.” Suddenly, everypony looks to Celestia’s left, and standing there is a light blue… “AN ALICORN!?” “Sister!?” “Poot.” “Oh, Luna, it’s so good to see… you, I guess,” Celestia looks down to her sister, then back out in space. “It’s… a thing now, yes, bla bla bla magic of friendship. Wait.” Celestia stands, approaching the five mares. “Okay, we can’t let everypony know that Twilight, four puddle worms, and a ramen noodle just saved Equestria from eternal night.” “Verily, although We doth have several questions for thee.” “Be quiet Luna, the big ponies are talking.” “This is exactly why We became Nightmare Moon…” “So! What I need you five to do, is say that you are all the Elements of Harmony.” “Isn’t that lyin’?” Applejack asks. “More like a little white fib.” “Or a grand big one,” Rainbow mumbles. “With flanks for days!” Pinkie adds. “Nice.” Both Pinkie and Rainbow hoof bump. “If I didn’t need you for this to work you’d be on the moon for that.” “That doesn’t work, Sister. The mortal ponies you sent there to me from time to time all died of instant head explosion.” “Exactly. Now, you’re all going to take one of those fancy rings there, and say it’s your Element of Harmony.” “Which ones do we take?” Fluttershy asks. “Pfft, I dunno, just grab them.” We did it. We saved the world. My bestest best friends and I did the unthinkable. Unpredictable. Unimaginable. Unununable. Now, a new pony stands before Me, the Great Twiggles and her Five Worm Band. I mount my hella wack Tony Hawk skateboard and scoot to the new being. “Ow! What doth-?” Luna looks down to her leg, and sitting on a board with wheels is Twiggles herself. “Um, Sister, what… what do I do here?” “What? Oh, just, be friends now or whatever. This whole thing was a big fluke, so we have to make it right.” Celestia was then struck in the face with a Fluke meter, because even Twiggles buys only the best test equpiment. “Well, hello there, Miss Twiggles.” Slowly, ever so slowly, Twiggle’s tongue creeps out of her mouth, then a good inch out she lets out a long, wet raspberry. “Awe, she likes you!” Pinkie hugs Luna tight. “Oh, I know! This calls for a PARTAY!” So with a plan set, the “Elements of Harmony” rightfully cristened, and Luna set free from her alter ego emo self, everypony makes their way back to Ponyville to have all kinds of fun. THE END (of ARC 1) ((DUN DUN DUN)) Author's Note If you've made it this far, then congrats! ACHIEVABLE UNLOCKED. BLEEP BLOOP. So now that this is done and over with, I'm going to totally NOT press that completed button, you know why? Because every once in a while I'll have bad ideas, so they will go here. Also! This story is now open to guest chapters! That's right, if you write up something small and dumb about Twiggles and her friends, but don't want it to scar your own profile or drag your name in the mud, well then let me do it for you! Just PM me with a gdoc link, and each guest chapter will have an authors note crediting who wrote it, why, and we'll all have a good cry about it at Bronycon. Which will be held in my pole barn every year, IF YOU ELECT ME, ROB, AS YOUR FIMFIC MOD FOR 2020. MAKE FIMFIC GREAT(ER) AGAIN! Also if you wish to remain anonymous for whatever reason, that's cool too! I'll still say I didn't write it because even I have standards, although they're pretty low at this point. Thanks to all who read this and questioned my (and your) sanity! It was fun! Chapter Too: Friendship is Puddles: Heroism and the WormsCanterlot sucks poots. As I Poot, Scootin’ Boogie my way back to the tree thingie I am currently living in, something dangerous happens! The sun explodes! Now the world is dark. “Muah ha ha ha! Now the world shall be forever covered in darkness!” Woah. She sounds cool. My friends and I must go investigate! “What did you do with the Princess!?” “Oh, you don’t have to worry your little sun-loving faces about her. I made sure of that.” “Seize her! Only she knows where the princess is!” Three Royal Guards shot out, but were struck down quickly by wicked night magic. “You foolish foals, you think you can stop me!? I am Nightmare Moon, and the night… shall last… FO-” Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak… Everypony, even Nightmare Moon, stops to look in the center of the room, where a small purple filly scoots along on her hella wack skateboard with neon green wheels. “What… is that?” asks Nightmare Moon, looking hopeful at the Mayor. “That… is Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia’s… student.” Nightmare raised a brow, the mayor’s voice at student taking her off guard. “Very well. You foolish foal, you think you can stop me alone!” The filly’s horn glowed, and she dropped in front of her 5 worms. “Are… those worms?” Nightmare asked, again, to the mayor. “Just… humor her, please.” Nightmare Moon shrugged. “Very well. You think you and your silly puddle worms can stop me!” Twilight pointed a hoof at her, and then pooted a raspberry from her mouth. “What… what was that? Are you… threatening me?” Twilight shook her. “Challenging me?” Another head shake. “Then what! I don’t understand!” Julian, the bravest of worms, shot out and smacked Nightmare Moon in the face. Nightmare blinked, looking down her muzzle at the wiggling worm, as it made its way down to her snout, left a trail of ooze, and then fell down to the ground floor, landing in a slice of cake. “Yeaaaah, I’m just... gonna go now. To my old Castle. You know, do evil things and… whatever.” With a puff of magic, she turned into a sparkly blue cloud and whisked away. “Well, that was… something, I guess.” Mayor Mare stepped down from her podium, then approached Twilight. “Twiggles, do you think you can really stop her?” Twilight’s eyes glowed, shimmering with excitement, adventure- “She went into the Everfree Forest, you know, the dangerous place. -and then again, her library had lights, she could just go there and play with her Hotwheels. So that’s what she did, along with her 5 best friends and a slice of cake. Chapter 5: Storming the Castle: 5 Golden Rings“Well, that was an ordeal,” Rarity pouted. Everypony lay on the ground around Twiggles; they were worn, tired, panting and sweating. Twiggles stands on her hella wack skateboard, staring at the castle, determination in her shallow, cold eyes. “I can’t believe she actually tried to jump the gap on her skateboard.” “I dunno, Dashie. I thought she almost had it.” “What? Pinkie, she went like, three feet before plummeting. That revine is at least five times that.” “Considering all she jumps are lines of Hot Wheels, I think she did great! Best two out of three!” “NO!” Everypony else shouts. It is here. The time. The place. I- no, we, must do this. I shift myself on my hella wack skateboard, and launch forward at incredible speed towards the doors. Those other mares can loligag about, but not I. I’m here for a important mission. Equestria needs saving, and only my friends and I can save it. “Oh look, Twiggles is starting to go again,” Rainbow sits up, stretching her back. “You’d think on a skateboard, she’d go a little faster than that,” Rarity adds. The five mares all walk behind Twiggles as she furiously strokes her legs along the ground, moving inch by inch. Truely, speeds in which nopony could dare compare. But alas! Ahead of me, the ground opens up its giant maw, trying to swallow me! I can barely make it out of the way before one of my wheels goes in. I hang onto the ledge for dear life. I can’t lose now. I’m so close. “Hang on there, sugarcube. One of your wheels is stuck in that there little hole.” Applejack places her muzzle under the back edge of the scateboard, lifting it and pushing forward so it clears the hole. “There ya go.” With every ounce of strength, I manage to pull myself from the hole, and continue on my fast journey. Suddenly, I see my next obstacle, and those brave words of Super-General Clap Trap ring in my ears. I pause, and weep, for there is no going around this. I must push on, I must go it alone. “Huh, no ramp. Looks like she’ll have to walk up the stairs.” “Yeah, but why is she stroking her skateboard like she’ll never see it again?” Everypony watches Twiggles shed but a single tear, and then begin her climb up the stairs. “Ya know, it’s like, five steps,” Applejack says to Twiggles. The filly presses on her journey. Sacrafice. Is this what it means, what we have to do, in the name of Equestria? Must we not only sacrafice and push ourselves, but others as well? My friends… they will be save back at the RMS Tony Hawk, in the hammer space, with my cheesey burgers. I can do this. Princess Poopybottom 2 didn’t send me to Ponyville friendless for nothing. And yet… my heart hurts. They came with me all this way to help, and I just leave them behind because… I’m afraid for them. They can’t express it, but I know. They fear for their lives. I fear for mine, too, but I have a mission. “Alright, so there’s supposed to be six of these things, right?” Applejack asks, looking at the five round stones that Fluttershy and Rainbow brought down. “Yup! That’s what the book says, anyway!” “Lemme see that book, Pinks.” “Sure!” “Hey, where is Twiggles going?” Rainbow asks. They watch as she begins waddling away, towards a hall. “Who knows. She’ll be fine. We need to figure these here things out, then go fight Nightmare Moon.” I know not what calls to me. Is it the howling winds of the night? The rank smells of rotten wood and plaster? Or the small glow of moonlight glistening off of something in a corner? Yeah, it’s the shiney, for realzies. I find three strange looking skeletons. Bipedal, from what I can gather, their arms chained to the wall, pelvic bones shattered, and yet their jaws show pain mixed with pleasure. They died happy. Together. One of them wears the tatters of old clothing, purple fleece with black and white fur lining. It’s massive purple hat with a single peacock feather. Golden teeth in its jaw, and last of all, upon one of its hands, are five gold rings. Using one of the leg bones, I smack the arm so the bones come crashing to the ground. These rings would look hella wack on my bestest best friends. I return to the big room, where those five mares are all trapped to the floor with weird glowing moon magic. And there is Black Snooty, laughing maniacally, hair looking fabulous. “I have you all trapped, now! You think you could hope to stop me!? You don’t even know how to use the Elements. You’d never-” “Poot.” Nightmare Moon raises a brow, curious. “Oh, you. I’d hoped something in the forest would have gobbled you up already.” “Two times, nearly.” Rarity says. “Silence!” Nightmare shouts. Slowly, everypony watches as Twiggle’s tongue creeps out of her muzzle, and then starts to blow raspberries. “What… is she doing?” “Oh! I can speak in tongue!” Pinkie chirps in. “She says you’re a butt!” “She… she what?” Twiggles continues to blow raspberries. “And you’re also big and dumb, but your mane and tail are hella wack.” “What… what does that even mean? Hella wack?” “Cool, I think?” Applejack ponders. “I never really figured it out much myself.” “ENOUGH! I’ve had it with this nonesense! I shall defeat you all, and the night, shall last, fo-” “Poot.” Pinkie gasps loudly. Nightmare Moon rolls her eyes. “Now what?” “She says that nothing can defeat the magic of friendship, and then she said the B word!” Suddenly, Pinkie is whispering next to Nightmare Moon. “It rhymes with wiiiiiiitch.” The doors explode inward, and Twiggle’s hella wack Tony Hawk skateboard with neon green wheels (that glow in the dark) comes crashing through, resting on top is a McRonalds box. The skateboard hits a chuck of rock, and sends the box flying forward, landing between Nightmare Moon and Twiggles, the lid opening slowly. From inside, a bright light, as five puddle worms raise into the air, glowing magnificently. The half eaten cheesey burger floats towards Twiggle’s chest, and hovers there. “Poot.” “W-what is the meaning of this!?” Nightmare Moon steps back. “Poot.” “FOR THE LOVE OF ME, WILL SHE JUST SPEAK NORMAL?” The glow suddenly envelops Twiggles, and the five pimp rings she looted. Also she’s wearing the pimp’s hat now, because she’s purple and it matches. They float in the air, waves of magic surrounding them, as each ring is slid onto all of Twiggles friends. The cheesey burger rests atop her new pimp hat. “Poot.” Nightmare Moon watches with horror as Twiggles continues to raspberry, with Pinkie narrating, but the author’s honestly not even sure at this point what’s going on so just leaves it up to the reader’s imagination. “Poot.” Nightmare fires magic missile after missile, but they harmlessly bounce off the barrier around Twiggles and her puddle worms. For a brief moment, she stares into the eyes of Twiggles. No emotion, no remorse, no fear, hate, love… nothing. She is just… there. She is… Twiggles. “D-defeated by… Twiggles… and her stupid puddle worms… how… why…” “Poot.” Suddenly, a massive rainbow like beam strikes down at Nightmare Moon, wrapping her in a cocoon of colours and happiness and disgusting good cheer. Lastly, there was a massive explosion, and all was a bright light. Only silence.
Chapter 1: Puddle Worms: The GatheringPonyville. A strange town… Full of stranger ponies… Even more fuller of strangerest things. Yes, this was the town I came to do stuff and things. At first, friends were the dumbs. Who needs them? I have my hella wack skateboard, I can travel the world. Yet, strange as it sounds… I’ve made friends. Princess Poopybottom told me I had to make friends. So I tried, but then I got hungry so ate all the macaroni art, and now Elmer’s is my favorite snack for a while maybe. However, here I am, before Her Highness, with new friends that I’m pretty sure aren’t edible. Maybe. Probably for emergency midnight snack times. “Well Twilight, how has your friend-finding journey been going?” I beam. Really, it went well, but words are not needed. I scoot to right. Then scoot to the left. Do the cha cha cha, then do it again. Princess Celestia looks on, brow raised, but once the important Friendship Dance ™ is completed, I show her my new bestest friends. Her smile, once big and bright, slowly shifts downward into a frown, eyes low and ears nearly flat. “Oh nooooooooooo, Twilight,” she draws out the N word, which isn’t the Z word so I shall forgive her this time, “you can’t be friends with the puddle worms.” What? Why? My heart, it begins to shatter into a million little Twiggles, all gnashing their hungry jaws against my rib cage so they could escape and devour the evil Princess Poopybottom. I look to my new friends: Julian, YuGi, Domo, Arigato, and Mister Roboto. They are hurt, hurt by her words. But I have to be strong, for them. They are important to me. It seems she is not finished, however. “Also one of those may be a Ramen Noodle… Luna must have dropped it.” How dare she make fun of Mr. Roboto’s skin condition! He was working on his complexion. “I’m sorry, Twilight, but you need to put them back wherever you found them.” She dare tell me, Twiggles the Almighty and Twerkiful, to banish my friends back to those cursed apple fields? Neigh, I say! She shall not tell me what to do, or how to do it. Just because she is Princess Poopybottom 2 (since she is now even worser than before) doesn’t mean she can control my life, or my friends. “Neigh.” I sure told her. Am I good or what? Celestia places a hoof to her forehead, shaking her head back and forth. “Oh, Twilight, what ever am I going to do with you?” This is my chance: My break, I can take them, all of them, away from here. She is distracted by a false hope filled with morning walks and tea flavored tea, which tastes bad but twice as much. I gather my friends, and we flee! Flee, I tell you! Or me, in this case. I tell me, we flee! Princess Celestia watches as her pupil scurries away like a slug in hot tar. “She forgot her skateboard again.” The Royal Guard beside her nods his head, then walks over to pick up the filly and place her on his back. Twilight’s magic glows, and her… friends… follow along as the guard carries Twilight out of the throne room. As the doors close, she can see and hear Twilight smacking his armor, go faster my steed! The doors latch, and Celestia is left pondering… wondering… “Was it because I dropped her that one time?” Celestia looked down to her other guard. “I’m not a bad teacher, am I?”
Chapter Turd: Hot wheels are Awesome: Puddle Ponies are Lame.There are other ponies in my tree house. This is my tree house, how did they break the super secret code word to enter? "Uh, girls? Twiggles is here." Orange says. "Oh great, just what we need. Bad enough that Nightmare Moon stuck us in an ever lasting night, now we have to foalsit Twilight." Twiggles glares at the white one. She will die first. "Oh don't worry, Twiggles! We are gonna go into that big, scary, evil forest and defeat Black Snooty!" Pinkie Pie, the only sensible pone, says while hugging The Twig. "Yeah, about that, what exactly are we doing about that?" asks the fast- She is playing with my Hot Wheels. My list needs revision. Slowly I scoot on my hella wack Tony Hawk skateboard towards the blue offender. I glare. "What?" she asks, like she doesn't know what she had done. Then she crashes two of them. I cry; weeping for the damage done, which can never be. "Goin' into the Everfree, Dash. We gotta stop Nightmare Moon!" "Oh, right," she discards my Hot Wheels, even going so far as to step a hoof on one of my orange track pieces. My list grows hungry, like me. I want a cheesey burger. "Come on, Twiggles! Let's go save Princess Celestia!" Pinkie ties a rope to my hella wack skateboard, and begins dragging me away. I reach out for my Hot Wheels. I just wanted to sit alone in my tree house and play with them. Now they shall remain cold and alone on the wood floor. At least I still have my best- They are gone. They left me, alone. Probably to play with my Hot Wheels. Or eat my frozen cheesey burgers in the ice box. As my tree house door closes, I cry, for nothing else matters anymore. Author's Note Writing this story between helping with Thanksgiving dinner. Had to make a Kroger run and Hot Wheels were on sale, so wrote this up while I waited to pay. https://imgur.com/a/GsuHMsT Pick your favorite! This will be super important to the plot of the story.
4 Chapter: Spoopy Woods Or: How the Feast Was WonI managed to grab a Hot Wheels before we got far. Thankfully I keep emergency ones in my sand box outside. Now we go to the woods. They are dumb and not really fun. Smelly stuff grows there. I don't know why I am being taken there other than Princess Poopybottom 2 will be there. Then she will rub my friends leaving me in my face. Mood. "So why are we bringing her again?" Rainbow Dash asks, nodding back at Twiggles. "She is the Princesses pet or whatever. Figure she might be able to… I dunno, sniff her out." Rainbow hovers over Applejack. "Sniff her out? I don't think the Princess smells like cheese burgers." "Well, it can't hurt to bring her, right?" "Poot." Everypony stops, looking back at Twiggles. "What?" asks Rainbow. She points ahead. Everypony looks to where she is pointing. A manicure is calmly standing there, brow raised. An embroidered white handkerchief tied around his neck with the words “Hungry Like a Tiger” and a cute, cartoon looking tiger holding a fork and spoon. Applejack raised her hat, rubbing her brow. “Oh, huh. How’d we miss that?” Dummies they are. I watch them fight, I watch them struggle. But I’m no dummy. I know what he wants. I know what we all want. I open the hammer space pouch on my skateboard, and pull out an emergency cheesey burger. I know what I must do: A sacrafice, I must- Opening the lid, my eyes grow wide. Of course, how could I have forgotten? There are my best friends! All safe and sound, sharing my emergency cheesey burger. “Sorry, Friends. We must do this.” I remove them from the box, to place them on my hella wack skateboard, and throw the cheesey burger at the manticore. It lands three feet in front of me. “What’s goin’ on? Why did it stop?” A panting Applejack asks. “Look! Twiggles did something!” Pinkie Pie says with a bounce. The manticore approaches Twiggles, looking from her to the cheese burger. “Friends,” she says, pointing to- “Ewww, are those worms? Why does she have worms?” Rarity screamed. The manticore nodded, takes the burger, and leaves. “Uh… what just happened?” Rainbow asks. Applejack shrugs. “I think Twiggles just saved us?” Everypony stands and watches as Twiggles rolls past them on her hella wack skateboard, the awesome glow in the dark neon wheels cutting a patch as she goes. Pinkie Pie bounces after, and reluctantly, everypony else follows. It takes several yards of following for somepony to ask the obvious. “Where’s Fluttershy?” Everypony looks to Rainbow. “Oh yeah, come to think of it, I haven’t seen her since we entered the forest.” “Wait, did she leave us?” “No,” says Twiggles, opening her hammer space storage Tech Deck ™ add on. Fluttershy is violently thrown from the storage container. “Fluttershy!” Everypony says, rushing over. “Darling, what happened to you? Why were you in there?” “And what is that smell?” Rainbow uses her wings to fan at her pegasus friend. “So… many… cheese burgers…” Fluttershy stammers, shaking. Everypony looks to Twiggles. She is sharing another cheese burger with her worms. “You know, I’m starting to get used to this eternal night gig. Maybe we should just cut our losses?” “No way, Rarity. We have ta save the Princess!” Applejack stomps a hoof. “We’re almost there, I’m sure of it! Right, Twiggles?” She’s gone. “Oh what the hay.” Now that I have my friends back, I shall prove to Princess Poopybottom 2 how amazing they are, save the day, and she will have to take me back to Hooters. I come to water. The water is still. I remember, Princess telling me no splashy unless I have floaties. I place my bestest best friends back in the cheesey burger box, put that back in my Tech Deck ™ storage compartment, and then push on with my hella wack Tony Hawk skateboard. Wood floats, so this should work out just fine. “Oh, I found her,” Fluttershy says, breaking through some thick foliage along a river. “Oh thank goodness! I was so worried.” “Really?” Applejack asks. Rarity shakes her head. “No, not particularly, but I felt the remark was apt for the occasion.” “Uh, what’s that thing?” Everypony follows where Rainbow Dash is pointing. “Ah yes, it looks like a sea serpant is trying to eat Twiggles,” Rarity says. “Do you think she tastes like cheese burgers?” asks Pinkie. Applejack sighs, pulling out her lasso to do the dirty work. I have learned a very important lesson about Friendship. Tony Hawk lied to me. His hella wack skateboards don’t float like a butterfly or a bee. Suddenly, a water snake pops out, ready to eat me. I don’t want to be eaten. “Hang on, Twiggles! I got ya!” Orange shouts from the water’s edge. From my Tech Deck ™, I pull out my trusty tool for when I’m faced with stranger danger. “Wait, what!?” Orange shouts. It only takes five rounds of .500 Smith and Wesson to drop the water snake. Wait, was it five… or six? Either way, I win. Author's Note People will be showing up soon for dinner. I'm hoping to finish up to Nightmare Moon battle by the end of today, but we'll see. Onward, to stupidity!
Chapter Half Dozen: Elements of Puddles or: How to Worm your way to Success.“Weh.” Slowly, groggily, everypony stood up from the prone positions on the castle floors. “Weeeeeh!” The five mares of what should have been destiny look to each other, then to Twiggles. Her stubby legs wiggle in the air helplessly as she rocks herself side to side. Stuck on her back like a turtle, the sound of pleading and bargaining with Death is heard using but a single word. “Weh.” “So, did we win?” Rainbow asks. Suddenly, there is a bright light from the window as the sun comes up, and Princess Celestia appears. “Yes, you did my little ponies. You all saved Equestria from a dire threat. I’m so proud of you, especially you Twi- oh no.” Celestia’s magic grabs the closest mare, Applejack, and brings her up close for inspection. Awkwardly, the mare rubs the back of her head. “Yeah, so this is pretty crazy, but we didn’t really do much other than get our flanks handed to us by Nightmare Moon.” “Twiggles and her puddle worms saved us!” Pinkie sings, bouncing into view. Dropping Applejack, Celestia stares blankly off into the distance. “I can’t believe it…” “Hey, uh, should we help Twiggles?” Rarity looks to Rainbow, then to Twiggles. “No, darling, I think she’s got it.” “Builds character,” Applejack adds, rubbing her rudely dropped rump. After several more awkward minutes of silence, save for Twiggle’s “WEH” and Celestia having an existential crisis, Fluttershy assists Twiggles onto her stubby legs, and rejoins her five puddle friends on her hella wack Tony Hawk skateboard with neon green wheels (that are currently not glowing in the dark because the sun is up which is kinda lame now). Resting on top of the skateboard was the pimp hat, now adorned with a golden crown and a half eaten cheesey burger as the center piece. “We are done crying alone in the corner now, sister.” Suddenly, everypony looks to Celestia’s left, and standing there is a light blue… “AN ALICORN!?” “Sister!?” “Poot.” “Oh, Luna, it’s so good to see… you, I guess,” Celestia looks down to her sister, then back out in space. “It’s… a thing now, yes, bla bla bla magic of friendship. Wait.” Celestia stands, approaching the five mares. “Okay, we can’t let everypony know that Twilight, four puddle worms, and a ramen noodle just saved Equestria from eternal night.” “Verily, although We doth have several questions for thee.” “Be quiet Luna, the big ponies are talking.” “This is exactly why We became Nightmare Moon…” “So! What I need you five to do, is say that you are all the Elements of Harmony.” “Isn’t that lyin’?” Applejack asks. “More like a little white fib.” “Or a grand big one,” Rainbow mumbles. “With flanks for days!” Pinkie adds. “Nice.” Both Pinkie and Rainbow hoof bump. “If I didn’t need you for this to work you’d be on the moon for that.” “That doesn’t work, Sister. The mortal ponies you sent there to me from time to time all died of instant head explosion.” “Exactly. Now, you’re all going to take one of those fancy rings there, and say it’s your Element of Harmony.” “Which ones do we take?” Fluttershy asks. “Pfft, I dunno, just grab them.” We did it. We saved the world. My bestest best friends and I did the unthinkable. Unpredictable. Unimaginable. Unununable. Now, a new pony stands before Me, the Great Twiggles and her Five Worm Band. I mount my hella wack Tony Hawk skateboard and scoot to the new being. “Ow! What doth-?” Luna looks down to her leg, and sitting on a board with wheels is Twiggles herself. “Um, Sister, what… what do I do here?” “What? Oh, just, be friends now or whatever. This whole thing was a big fluke, so we have to make it right.” Celestia was then struck in the face with a Fluke meter, because even Twiggles buys only the best test equpiment. “Well, hello there, Miss Twiggles.” Slowly, ever so slowly, Twiggle’s tongue creeps out of her mouth, then a good inch out she lets out a long, wet raspberry. “Awe, she likes you!” Pinkie hugs Luna tight. “Oh, I know! This calls for a PARTAY!” So with a plan set, the “Elements of Harmony” rightfully cristened, and Luna set free from her alter ego emo self, everypony makes their way back to Ponyville to have all kinds of fun. THE END (of ARC 1) ((DUN DUN DUN)) Author's Note If you've made it this far, then congrats! ACHIEVABLE UNLOCKED. BLEEP BLOOP. So now that this is done and over with, I'm going to totally NOT press that completed button, you know why? Because every once in a while I'll have bad ideas, so they will go here. Also! This story is now open to guest chapters! That's right, if you write up something small and dumb about Twiggles and her friends, but don't want it to scar your own profile or drag your name in the mud, well then let me do it for you! Just PM me with a gdoc link, and each guest chapter will have an authors note crediting who wrote it, why, and we'll all have a good cry about it at Bronycon. Which will be held in my pole barn every year, IF YOU ELECT ME, ROB, AS YOUR FIMFIC MOD FOR 2020. MAKE FIMFIC GREAT(ER) AGAIN! Also if you wish to remain anonymous for whatever reason, that's cool too! I'll still say I didn't write it because even I have standards, although they're pretty low at this point. Thanks to all who read this and questioned my (and your) sanity! It was fun!
Chapter Too: Friendship is Puddles: Heroism and the WormsCanterlot sucks poots. As I Poot, Scootin’ Boogie my way back to the tree thingie I am currently living in, something dangerous happens! The sun explodes! Now the world is dark. “Muah ha ha ha! Now the world shall be forever covered in darkness!” Woah. She sounds cool. My friends and I must go investigate! “What did you do with the Princess!?” “Oh, you don’t have to worry your little sun-loving faces about her. I made sure of that.” “Seize her! Only she knows where the princess is!” Three Royal Guards shot out, but were struck down quickly by wicked night magic. “You foolish foals, you think you can stop me!? I am Nightmare Moon, and the night… shall last… FO-” Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak… Everypony, even Nightmare Moon, stops to look in the center of the room, where a small purple filly scoots along on her hella wack skateboard with neon green wheels. “What… is that?” asks Nightmare Moon, looking hopeful at the Mayor. “That… is Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia’s… student.” Nightmare raised a brow, the mayor’s voice at student taking her off guard. “Very well. You foolish foal, you think you can stop me alone!” The filly’s horn glowed, and she dropped in front of her 5 worms. “Are… those worms?” Nightmare asked, again, to the mayor. “Just… humor her, please.” Nightmare Moon shrugged. “Very well. You think you and your silly puddle worms can stop me!” Twilight pointed a hoof at her, and then pooted a raspberry from her mouth. “What… what was that? Are you… threatening me?” Twilight shook her. “Challenging me?” Another head shake. “Then what! I don’t understand!” Julian, the bravest of worms, shot out and smacked Nightmare Moon in the face. Nightmare blinked, looking down her muzzle at the wiggling worm, as it made its way down to her snout, left a trail of ooze, and then fell down to the ground floor, landing in a slice of cake. “Yeaaaah, I’m just... gonna go now. To my old Castle. You know, do evil things and… whatever.” With a puff of magic, she turned into a sparkly blue cloud and whisked away. “Well, that was… something, I guess.” Mayor Mare stepped down from her podium, then approached Twilight. “Twiggles, do you think you can really stop her?” Twilight’s eyes glowed, shimmering with excitement, adventure- “She went into the Everfree Forest, you know, the dangerous place. -and then again, her library had lights, she could just go there and play with her Hotwheels. So that’s what she did, along with her 5 best friends and a slice of cake.
Chapter 5: Storming the Castle: 5 Golden Rings“Well, that was an ordeal,” Rarity pouted. Everypony lay on the ground around Twiggles; they were worn, tired, panting and sweating. Twiggles stands on her hella wack skateboard, staring at the castle, determination in her shallow, cold eyes. “I can’t believe she actually tried to jump the gap on her skateboard.” “I dunno, Dashie. I thought she almost had it.” “What? Pinkie, she went like, three feet before plummeting. That revine is at least five times that.” “Considering all she jumps are lines of Hot Wheels, I think she did great! Best two out of three!” “NO!” Everypony else shouts. It is here. The time. The place. I- no, we, must do this. I shift myself on my hella wack skateboard, and launch forward at incredible speed towards the doors. Those other mares can loligag about, but not I. I’m here for a important mission. Equestria needs saving, and only my friends and I can save it. “Oh look, Twiggles is starting to go again,” Rainbow sits up, stretching her back. “You’d think on a skateboard, she’d go a little faster than that,” Rarity adds. The five mares all walk behind Twiggles as she furiously strokes her legs along the ground, moving inch by inch. Truely, speeds in which nopony could dare compare. But alas! Ahead of me, the ground opens up its giant maw, trying to swallow me! I can barely make it out of the way before one of my wheels goes in. I hang onto the ledge for dear life. I can’t lose now. I’m so close. “Hang on there, sugarcube. One of your wheels is stuck in that there little hole.” Applejack places her muzzle under the back edge of the scateboard, lifting it and pushing forward so it clears the hole. “There ya go.” With every ounce of strength, I manage to pull myself from the hole, and continue on my fast journey. Suddenly, I see my next obstacle, and those brave words of Super-General Clap Trap ring in my ears. I pause, and weep, for there is no going around this. I must push on, I must go it alone. “Huh, no ramp. Looks like she’ll have to walk up the stairs.” “Yeah, but why is she stroking her skateboard like she’ll never see it again?” Everypony watches Twiggles shed but a single tear, and then begin her climb up the stairs. “Ya know, it’s like, five steps,” Applejack says to Twiggles. The filly presses on her journey. Sacrafice. Is this what it means, what we have to do, in the name of Equestria? Must we not only sacrafice and push ourselves, but others as well? My friends… they will be save back at the RMS Tony Hawk, in the hammer space, with my cheesey burgers. I can do this. Princess Poopybottom 2 didn’t send me to Ponyville friendless for nothing. And yet… my heart hurts. They came with me all this way to help, and I just leave them behind because… I’m afraid for them. They can’t express it, but I know. They fear for their lives. I fear for mine, too, but I have a mission. “Alright, so there’s supposed to be six of these things, right?” Applejack asks, looking at the five round stones that Fluttershy and Rainbow brought down. “Yup! That’s what the book says, anyway!” “Lemme see that book, Pinks.” “Sure!” “Hey, where is Twiggles going?” Rainbow asks. They watch as she begins waddling away, towards a hall. “Who knows. She’ll be fine. We need to figure these here things out, then go fight Nightmare Moon.” I know not what calls to me. Is it the howling winds of the night? The rank smells of rotten wood and plaster? Or the small glow of moonlight glistening off of something in a corner? Yeah, it’s the shiney, for realzies. I find three strange looking skeletons. Bipedal, from what I can gather, their arms chained to the wall, pelvic bones shattered, and yet their jaws show pain mixed with pleasure. They died happy. Together. One of them wears the tatters of old clothing, purple fleece with black and white fur lining. It’s massive purple hat with a single peacock feather. Golden teeth in its jaw, and last of all, upon one of its hands, are five gold rings. Using one of the leg bones, I smack the arm so the bones come crashing to the ground. These rings would look hella wack on my bestest best friends. I return to the big room, where those five mares are all trapped to the floor with weird glowing moon magic. And there is Black Snooty, laughing maniacally, hair looking fabulous. “I have you all trapped, now! You think you could hope to stop me!? You don’t even know how to use the Elements. You’d never-” “Poot.” Nightmare Moon raises a brow, curious. “Oh, you. I’d hoped something in the forest would have gobbled you up already.” “Two times, nearly.” Rarity says. “Silence!” Nightmare shouts. Slowly, everypony watches as Twiggle’s tongue creeps out of her muzzle, and then starts to blow raspberries. “What… is she doing?” “Oh! I can speak in tongue!” Pinkie chirps in. “She says you’re a butt!” “She… she what?” Twiggles continues to blow raspberries. “And you’re also big and dumb, but your mane and tail are hella wack.” “What… what does that even mean? Hella wack?” “Cool, I think?” Applejack ponders. “I never really figured it out much myself.” “ENOUGH! I’ve had it with this nonesense! I shall defeat you all, and the night, shall last, fo-” “Poot.” Pinkie gasps loudly. Nightmare Moon rolls her eyes. “Now what?” “She says that nothing can defeat the magic of friendship, and then she said the B word!” Suddenly, Pinkie is whispering next to Nightmare Moon. “It rhymes with wiiiiiiitch.” The doors explode inward, and Twiggle’s hella wack Tony Hawk skateboard with neon green wheels (that glow in the dark) comes crashing through, resting on top is a McRonalds box. The skateboard hits a chuck of rock, and sends the box flying forward, landing between Nightmare Moon and Twiggles, the lid opening slowly. From inside, a bright light, as five puddle worms raise into the air, glowing magnificently. The half eaten cheesey burger floats towards Twiggle’s chest, and hovers there. “Poot.” “W-what is the meaning of this!?” Nightmare Moon steps back. “Poot.” “FOR THE LOVE OF ME, WILL SHE JUST SPEAK NORMAL?” The glow suddenly envelops Twiggles, and the five pimp rings she looted. Also she’s wearing the pimp’s hat now, because she’s purple and it matches. They float in the air, waves of magic surrounding them, as each ring is slid onto all of Twiggles friends. The cheesey burger rests atop her new pimp hat. “Poot.” Nightmare Moon watches with horror as Twiggles continues to raspberry, with Pinkie narrating, but the author’s honestly not even sure at this point what’s going on so just leaves it up to the reader’s imagination. “Poot.” Nightmare fires magic missile after missile, but they harmlessly bounce off the barrier around Twiggles and her puddle worms. For a brief moment, she stares into the eyes of Twiggles. No emotion, no remorse, no fear, hate, love… nothing. She is just… there. She is… Twiggles. “D-defeated by… Twiggles… and her stupid puddle worms… how… why…” “Poot.” Suddenly, a massive rainbow like beam strikes down at Nightmare Moon, wrapping her in a cocoon of colours and happiness and disgusting good cheer. Lastly, there was a massive explosion, and all was a bright light. Only silence.
