No More Singles

by ArtColter

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Spike, Big Macintosh, Discord
Length: 1496

The Guy's Night Gang discuss their relationships.

Years ago, Spike and Discord came to a mutual understanding on Hearts and Hooves Day. That they would support and encourage each other in their efforts to find love.

Many years have passed, and they had since added Big Mac to their retinue. Many things have changed as well. And now, on the day before another Hearts and Hooves, they get together once again to talk about these changes, and their plans for the holiday itself.

Published 2020-02-05 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-05 21:00:01 UTC

No More Singles

"You know, this isn't that bad after all," Spike said to the draconequus seated to his left. Discord took a long sip of his chocolate milkshake, the coolest cat in the room.

"I told you," he replied, "Everyone needs to embrace some chaotic elements in their life, and while drinking milkshakes in a jazz club is low on my scale, it is not unsatisfactory."

"Eeyup," Big Mac agreed from his stool to Spike's right. All three males took another generous sip of creamy goodness.

The entire set-up had been Discord's idea. This was the last Guy's Night get-together before this year's Hearts and Hooves Day, and he had made it clear that he wanted this one to be special. His comrades, to their credit, were much more keen on the idea this time around than they had been when he had attempted to usurp their male bonding rituals when he had first joined their little group.

"I have to ask," Spike said, "Why were you so adamant on us coming here, Discord? I mean, you love Ogres and Oubliettes more than just about anyone."

"Isn't it obvious, my not-so-little dragon friend," Discord answered as he literally became the straw that stirred the drink, "We can play O&O any old time. But when we play, we get so engrossed in the game, that we don't have time to talk about anything else. And with the little romantic holiday coming up, I figure this was important to discuss. Much has changed, hasn't it?"

Spike had to agree. So much had changed, even just over the past few years. Big Mac had gotten married, Twilight had been crowned, he had moved with her to Canterlot and finally gotten a proper growth spurt. Discord had a girlfriend! It was a lot to contemplate.

"Have we ever told Mac about that little pact we had," Discord asked the dragon after he had returned to his orange zoot-suited glory.

"No, I don't think we have," Spike realized, "You see, Big Mac, many years ago, even before we started getting together for Guy's Nights, Discord and I had a talk about the holiday. Basically, we agreed to support each other in our romantic endeavors."

"Oddly enough," Discord continued, "The objects of our affections have changed in that time. Back then, I thought I would be able to convince Celestia, of all ponies, that we could share in quasi-immortal bliss. In hindsight, that was quite foolish."

"But it's working out with Fluttershy, right?"

"Oh, of course. I've never been happier than I am now," Discord got a wistful look in his eyes as he took a silent moment to think about all the beautiful traits and features of the quiet, kind, pegasus.

"Of course, I had my crush on Rarity," Spike said with a chuckle, "I don't regret the feelings I had, but it did perhaps make me a bit blind to other things."

"And our boy Big Mac has a wife at home," Discord mused, "Would never have put money on him being the first of us married. You must admit that, looking back, the circumstances of your proposal were pretty funny."

"Eeyup," Big Mac said, though in a tone that was not completely in agreement, "Remind me not to ask for y'all's help with any of my anniversaries."

"Speaking of," Spike interjected before Discord could mention some chaotic anniversary plan, "what are you and Sugar Belle doing for Hearts and Hooves Day?"

"We're going to spend a few days in Manehattan," the stallion replied, "Sugar's never been to the big city, and she wants to see the sights. Plus, it gives me an excuse to see my Aunt and Uncle Orange."

"That sounds great," Spike said, "What about you, Discord?"

"Huh, what," Discord started, it being obvious that he had zoned out a little bit.

"Discord, be nice," Spike reminded, "Figure we've been friends long enough that you would care about Big Mac's relationship."

"Oh, of course. You lost me at Manehattan, unfortunately. Not a fan of that place, you see."

Spike raised an eyebrow, "So what are you doing for Fluttershy?"

"Oh, well, I've told you about our 'chaotic tea parties', right," Mac and Spike nodded as Discord pulled down a projector screen out of nowhere and showed slides as he explained his plan, "Well, I've decided to give Fluttershy the experience of 'chaotic fine dining'. Picture that I ran a snobby Canterlot restaurant for the specific purpose of weirding out as many ponies as possible."

"Wouldn't be that hard," Spike commented, which Discord ignored.

"It will be like that, except just the two of us, with yours truly pulling all the strings. Waiters that walk on their hands, with the trays on their feet. Salt and pepper shakers that dance the samba. Chairs which really do not want to have all four of their legs on the ground. You can fill in the rest. Fluttershy will love it." The projector screen poofed out of existence as Discord leaned an elbow on the bar with a smug grin of satisfaction.

"That certainly sounds like you," Mac said, "Ah know all that stuff would drive me crazy."

"Then I consider it a success," Discord grabbed his milkshake and was about to take a sip, but stopped with the straw mere inches from his mouth, "Wait, we haven't asked Spike about his plans. Even though the pickings in Canterlot are slim at best, perhaps there is someone you have met that I do not know about."

Spike took a long drink of his shake, too long for Discord's liking.

"Spike, are you avoiding answering the question."

"Avoiding," Spike said, his eyes shifting between his two pals, "Why would I be avoiding?"

"Spike," Mac said, "You are almost as bad a liar as Applejack, and you know what that means."

Spike did indeed. The cornered dragon gulped and took a deep breath. "OK, OK. I do have plans for Hearts and Hooves Day, but if I tell you, it cannot get out."

Mac and Discord looked at each other over Spike's head in silent confusion.

"Sure, Spike," Mac finally said, "Whatever is said here doesn't leave the bar. Guy's Night rule. Right, Discord?"

"Swear on Fluttershy's butterflies," Discord promised. Spike didn't think too hard about what that might mean, but if he was willing to invoke Fluttershy, then he was probably serious.

"Alright," Spike sighed, "Not only do I have plans for Hearts and Hooves Day, but I have a date."

"That's great, Spike," Mac said, "With who? Anyone we know?"

"Oh, yeah, you two know her. Actually, it's more than just a date. It's actually our six-month anniversary."

"Six months!" Mac and Discord exclaimed in unison.

"How have you had a girlfriend for six months and never told us," Discord said incredulously, "I'm almost offended."

"She isn't ready to be completely public yet," Spike said, "It's hard to explain. Guess she wants to protect her tough image. It doesn't bother me, since I know that she cares about me."

"Who is it, Spike," Mac asked.

Spike took another breath, "It's Smolder." Mac's eyes widened some, while Discord's jaw thudded onto the bar.

"How have you been able to keep that a secret," Discord said, "If it was Rarity, you would have literally shouted it from the Ponyville rooftops."

"Well, I'm a lot more mature than I was in the past. And it's OK, everyone will know about it after this weekend. We're going to the Dragon Lands to tell Ember and Garble."

"Garble," Discord asked, "Smolder's brother? Doesn't he hate you?"

"Not as much as he used to. We've come to a much better understanding. That being said, I'm not sure how he'll handle the news."

"Wish I could be there. I would bring popcorn." Spike gave Discord a dirty look.

"Well, Ah think it's great, Spike," Mac said supportively, "And I understand that Smolder isn't as open about relationships as Sugar Belle and Ah were. But Ah'm glad that she's gotten more comfortable with it."

"Yeah, I think I'm helping her put down her defenses more often. She's even let me see her wear cute outfits, stuff she would never be caught dead wearing by Gallus or Ember."

"Well, as happy as I am for you," Discord said, "It does mean that i have to adjust my plans for the night."

"Why is that," Spike asked suspiciously.

"Oh, well I was going to play wingman for you with some of the cute mares here. But, failing that, I suppose we could go back to the castle for some O&O."

"Wait, that's why you brought us here!?" Spike should have known that Discord had some kind of ulterior motive. He always did.

"Well, I'm sorry for trying to help out a friend," Discord said with an exaggerated pout.

All Mac could do was shake his head and chuckle under his breath, "We ain't leavin' 'til I finish my milkshake."