Author's Note

This story was originally written as a transcription of events but was rewritten in this format due to fimfiction rules of script format. The story has not changed but the style has been altered.

I plan on releasing this in chapters and it is currently unfinished but I know the ending and simply have to overcome some health problems that have restricted my writing. Nothing too terrible, just dizziness while looking down due to a muscular problem in my neck but you can see how that would impede typing.

Focus on good posture, folks or you may start getting dizzy! If you work a job at a computer, like me, make sure to exercise good posture and take breaks every twenty minutes to walk and stretch!

Act I: Interrupting your regularly scheduled program

Dear viewers, a scandalous plot has been uncovered by the best news agency in Canterlotian history, Perfect News. Under the guidance of our founder, Future Perfect, I, the esteemed progeny Past Tense, have acquired for a very special broadcast an illuminating recording found at the scene of an attempted murder that explains the sudden change in Equestrian governance.

Many questions have been on pony lips over the last few months since the Royal Guard Commander Shining Armor became the Speaker of the Castle under the supposed orders of the ailing Princess Twilight Sparkle. Princess Sparkle, as you all know, has made no public appearances due to “illness” and placed Commander Armor as her personal mouthpiece, meaning only our new Speaker and physicians have laid eyes upon her in recent history.

What is this illness? Why does it keep Princess Twilight bed-ridden and quarantined? Why was Doctor Pheromone, the princess’ personal physician, removed from the castle shortly after Princess Twilight contracted this terrible ailment and a state-run group of physicians brought in to oversee the recuperation of our beloved princess? Does this sound like a government conspiracy to anyone else?

Of course it does, and Perfect News, as always, is the one to report the truth and expose corruption within our society. Under the Sparkle regime, friendship and unity have thrived with a minimal amount of scandal but each time a shady dealing or tasty tidbit fell from the control of the crown, we were here to present it.

And so, Perfect News brings to you, loyal viewers, the truth the government wishes to conceal.

A video tape was secretly copied by a Perfect News informant before destruction by the Royal Inquisition. Smuggled courageously by our anonymous informant, who was arrested on charges of treason shortly after delivering the video. What awaited on that tape was enough evidence to condemn the actions of the state and reveal the whole seedy conspiracy. So much, in fact, that members of the Royal Guard and Royal Inquisition stormed the headquarters of Perfect News and seized the original evidence and destroyed it. Taking with them not only the ashes of the tape but our own, beloved, Future Perfect under false charges. The brazen illegality of Shining Armor’s actions will be brought to public viewing by this broadcast.

Under threat of persecution and retaliation for going live with any information of the tape, Perfect News has decided to run the story because the truth is not afraid of the action from this or any government. Nothing can stifle the truth, it’s what our founder has always believed.

Broadcasting from a secret location, I, Past Tense, will read the surviving transcription documents from the aforementioned cassette in full while Perfect News teams, likewise working from secret locations, connect what portions of the video were salvaged or hidden from the Inquisition Interceptance Task Force. We hope to have pieced the surviving clips of the video airing by noon tomorrow and no amount of Royal Guard or Royal Inquisition interference will halt the truth.

Here in my hoof are the original transcriptions from the video. Transcribed by Future Perfect himself, I will now begin reading what Perfect News calls, The Inadvertent Final Confessions of Pinkamena Diane Pie.