My Final Confession: Relapse

The video rolls and the image of a much younger Pinkamena looks questioningly at the camera. Her coat is free of gray strands, tighter, and slightly more vivacious. Her ice-blue eyes are clear like glacial waters as she peers into the lens. Streaks of carmine liquid drip down her left cheek and gather in small pools at her collarbone. Behind her, the picnic of the pallid pink mare and her stallion partner lay in shambles.

The picnic basket has been crushed, the food once decorating plates now mashed or strewn aside. The body of the stallion is stretched across the checked sheet they had previously sat upon sharing a moment of romance, content in time spent with one another. His abdomen has been opened and the bright sun illuminates the organs inside like a paper lantern. Much of his entrails have been pulled free to swell and bloat in the sun. Already the shadows of carrion birds slice across the grisly scene as they circle above.

Words are painted in the stallion’s blood across the blanket in a repeating pattern. In the center are two words drawn large and emphasized,

‘Stay Out!’

Pinkamena looks deeply into the camera and a shiver runs through the entirety of her form hard enough to appear to break her. She gasps for breath and falls into deep sobs. Her hooves wrap her head as glistening tears pour like waterfalls. Shaking her head in disgust, Pinkamena shudders before the inaudible video and a wail rips from her before she collapses into a quivering heap.

The video begins to distort and the image suddenly changes to Cozy Glow standing behind a makeshift table of boards and boxes. The disused brick oven in the background and concrete floors marks this as the basement of Sugarcube Corner. There are a few ceramic bowls spread across the faux table with different vegetables poking above the rims. A single paring knife lays to one side. The pegasus wears a frown and appears drained and tired.

“Okay, we’re on,” Pinkamena’s familiar voice comes from off-screen and she bursts into frame beside the filly to the usual spot she occupies for ‘Cozy’s Cooking Corner’. An attempt at a mirthful smile spreads across her lips and she gently nudges Cozy.

Cozy looks away and toward the floor as she crosses her forelegs about her chest with a pouting lip protruding forward.

“Uh… Hello again, wonderful viewers!” Pinkamena picks up the slack and begins the segment with her best television personality facsimile. “Today a-at Cozy’s Cooking Corner we are going to break from tradition and bring to you something a little different. Normally, The Corner is all about baking sweet treats and dainty delectables for yourself, your friends, and loved ones, but sometimes you just need something simple, quick, and free from the labors of cooking. But, let me, the guest host, make way for our most wonderful, magnificutest host in the world, Cozy Glow!”

Pinkamena holds her hooves out in presentation of Cozy who puts her elbows onto the provisional table and rests her chin up on them, disconnected from the act Pinkamena is putting on.

Biting her lip once more, Pinkamena reaches out and lightly touches Cozy’s shoulder. The pegasus doesn’t react. Turning back to the camera, Pinkamena ignites another smile. “We know that everyone loves the sweet treats we usually make, but this recipe is sure to win over even the coldest hearts. So let’s give this delectable dish a good try. Come on, Cozy! Tell the viewers what we’re making!”

Cozy rolls an annoyed, uncaring eye to the camera and mumbles more than speaks, “Gas-punch pansies.”

Pinkamena giggles playfully and continues her facade, “So close! It’s difficult to say but we’re making gazpacho panzanella! This dish is a combination recipe from two other pony cultures! Gazpacho is a delicious soup from Caballoza made from cucumbers, tomatoes, and garlic. We will be adding basil and turning it into an exquisite salad! We will also be using day-old bread to make panzanella, or breadcrumbs, to go with the salad. Panzanella comes from Bitaly where bread, pasta and all things gluten are superior.”

“First we take the tomatoes and cut them into bite-sized chunks.” Pinkamena ushers a bowl of small tomatoes towards Cozy. The pegasus looks into them and sighs but takes the knife into her mouth and begins slicing. Pinkamena notices and grins to herself.

“Tomatoes, or tomate, in Caballoza, are one of your guest-host’s favorite foods. They pop like eyeballs in your mouth and are just bursting with flavor. The way their insides spill around your tongue and percolate the taste buds is simply exquisite.” Pinkamena brings her hooves together and claps. “Don’t you agree, superific host, Cozy?”

Cozy, carefully but fumblingly cutting the tomatoes nods indifferently. “I guess. But don’t compare them to eyeballs. Why would you make that comparison?”

Pinkamena’s mouth pulls back from a smile into concern as Cozy awkwardly slices the tomatoes. “Remember to be careful when cutting, don’t want to cut yourself. Always cut away and use good form so that the blade doesn’t catch your hoof or the flesh behind it. Or worse, holding it wrong could even slice your lips or tongue. How could you, our amicable viewers, enjoy the scrumptious delights we make here on The Corner without a tongue?”

The tomatoes are placed back into the bowl in sopping chunks. Cozy looks up at the pink mare for the next instruction.

“Next we take the cucumbers and skin them. Now, I, your slaughterrorific, co-host know almost everything there is to know about skinning, so let’s practice on the cucumbers!”

Cozy makes a face, “Hey! That’s not what this show is about. You can’t just say weird things like that. Eyeballs, skinning?”

“Sorry, Cozy. Guess I can’t help myself but maybe I can change. If I practice and try hard enough, maybe I can learn to forget about the things that have made me who I am and become a better pony.” Pinkamena tussles the mane of the smaller pony.

“Maybe. Do that last part over.”

“So, stupendous viewers, next we take the cucumber and skin it. Now I know what you housewives are thinking, ‘why waste a perfectly good cucumber by eating it’ and, you know, now and then, I agree with you but…”

“Hey!” Cozy interrupts again and looks up at Pinkamena with judgmental eyes. “Come on, I’m not THAT little. I know what you’re talking about. That’s pretty gross, don’t you think? We don’t make those kinds of jokes at Cozy’s Cooking Corner! It’s TV-Y rated!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Cozy. I-I’m not as experienced with making a show as you are. I just keep messing up. Maybe you should resume your hosting duties and I will cut up the vegetables?” Pinkamena flushes, watching the pegasus come alive a little more.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I mean, you weren’t bad at it, but you really need to work on some things.” Cozy scoots the knife over to her co-host and moves more towards the center of the table, a weak smile beginning to sprout on her lips.

Cozy clears her throat and becomes the character she has created, “Welcome back viewers! Your buoyant, beautiful host Cozy is here to tell you the next step of making …. uh … guppie penchant pantsandtie.”

“Gazpacho Panzanella.” Pinkamena whispers and takes the knife into her mouth.

“Yep! Thank you, Miss Pinkamena and may I say that you are looking especially sweet today. Not as sweet and lovable as yours truly, but you have a kind of glow around you that I just can’t explain.”

“Thanks, Cozy. You must be rubbing off on me, I suppose.”

“Well, our next step is to skin the cucumbers and cube them into morsels about the same size as the tomatoes. Right, Miss Pinkamena?” The pegasus looks for reassurement.

“That’s right, Cozy. All you have to do is put the edge of the knife just under the skin of the cucumber and ..” the blade effortlessly slices through as the earth pony spins the gourd-family fruit around, knife peeling the dark green flesh in a swirling strip. It tails off leaving the cucumber naked, soft meat glistening with wet life. The coiled strip is one long piece, Pinkamena’s skill with a knife is still as sharp as the blades she uses. “Voila!” She immediately begins dicing the cucumber with blurring speed. In just a few seconds the fruit is a series of thick, almost perfectly squared chunks. They are mixed with the tomatoes.

“You’re really good at that. How did you get so … you know what, I don’t think I don’t think I want to know.”

The mare laughs in response and brings out one of the two garlic cloves. She makes a quick slice to rid the outer fibrous shell and uses the back, blunt side of the blade in combination with her hooves to excrete the soft, inner cloves from their protective layerings.

“Now we just chop the garlic into fine pieces. We don’t want to use too much or it will take over the flavor.” Cozy coughs and her eyes begin to water from the odor of the garlic. She moves away from the table for a moment.

Pinkamena shows no sign of weakness to the acrid vegetable and finishes the job quickly and masterfully. She replaces the leftover garlic into another bowl and covers them with an empty plate.

Cozy returns to the ad hoc table. “Where did you get all of this?”

“Stole it from a couple gardens. I also found a home with a window open and borrowed some plates and things. There’s carrots and a few other things for the next few days but we will need to make them last. Every time I go out it’s another chance we’re taking.”

“Cozy’s Cooking Corner does not condone acts of theft, loyal viewers. Times are difficult for your most gracious host and her surprisingly skilled co-host.” She grins widely and pushes the next bowl over, full of basil leaves. She makes a face at it and looks up to her co-host perplexed.

“Basil leaves. We crush them up.”

“Next we will take the basil leaves, viewers. Fresh is the best for this … umm, plant. It needs to be crushed finely so let’s watch our co-host work her magic!”

Pinkamena takes the empty bowl the cucumber was in and slides it down into the bowl of basil leaves. She twists and grinds the upper bowl into the bottom one repeatedly, effectively turning the bowls into a facsimile mortar and pestle.

“Oh...that’s a neat trick.” Cozy tells her friend and then turns to the camera. “We’re lucky here at The Corner to have such a knowledgeable co-host. If you folks at home are on a bit of a budget, as we are, then this method of grinding requires fewer instruments and works just as well.”

Pinkamena tosses in the finely minced garlic and begins crushing again with the bowls until the mixture inside resembles a thick, green paste. “Got it. I couldn’t get everything we needed so there’s no oil. It’s going to be a little dry but it should still be pretty tasty. Just need to cut up the bread. Day old is better because it’s a little harder. We should really fry it some but we can’t make a fire without giving away that we’re in here.”

“You heard her, folks! Brilliant budget breakfast, lunch, or dinner!” Cozy begins explaining what Pinkamena just said in her host character while Pinkamena slices the bread into pieces and mixes with the tomato and cucumber. She then spills the contents onto two plates and uses the knife to direct some of the garlic-basil paste into the creation as well.

“There you have it, intrepid viewers! Gazpacho Panvanilla!” Cozy quickly looks to Pinkamena for accuracy.

“Close enough. Good job.”

“TASTE TEST!” Diving into her plate, Cozy crunches on the meat of the cucumber and pops her head back up with a series of warm onomatopoeias all she can muster to describe how good the food is. Pinkamena begins eating as well, seemingly satisfied with the result.

Cozy gulps down her mouthful and cocks her head playfully to the camera. “We sincerely hope your version of this dish turned out just as well as ours! Until next time, friendly viewers, we love all of you! Keep cooking!”

The segment over, Cozy eats in a more controlled fashion and licks the plate at the end. She grins to Pinkamena, finishing her food, and turns to saunter back to the brick oven dormant in the background.

“I wish we could use this. It’s pretty similar to the one back home, huh?” Cozy’s observation is astute; the oven is similar in size and shape. It is evident that this was the concept Pinkamena went with while designing her own.

“If it still stood, yes. It’s very similar. I never used a better oven than this one. Mine was a crude copy that never really lived up to this one’s ability. I think Mr. Cake designed it, actually. It’s perfect for baking.” Pinkamena finishes her meal and moves to join Cozy in front of the oven.

“You sound like you were happy here, Pinkie,” the pegasus observes.

“Yes, I was. It was a long time ago though. I’ve forgotten what it felt like.”

Cozy watches Pinkamena’s shoulders droop and the pegasus lays her head against the older pony’s shoulder. “Maybe when all this is over we can come back and use this oven again. Or is it broken, like us?”

A gentle chuckle spills from the mare and she scoops Cozy around the neck, pulling the curly mane against her chest. “That’s a nice idea. I’d love that. It’s probably just a dream, though. One way or another, I think our time together will end soon.”

“Not if we end that tyrant, Twilight Sparkle first. If we got rid of her and took over we could do whatever we wanted.” Cozy sounds vicious, her words spears like lunging towards the Princess of Friendship.

A resigned sigh escapes Pinkamena and she turns to face the smaller pony. She looks sad but also a little annoyed. “Let’s stop the charade, okay, Cozy?”

Cozy looks confused and turns her head cutely. “What do you mean, Pinkie?”

Her former name stings the mare visually and she twitches as if something has struck her. “No more of that. Stop calling me Pinkie, it's painful to me. Just like being back here in this place is painful to me.”

“I … okay. But what do you mean, ‘the charade’?” Cozy asks innocently.

A growl comes from deep within the mare and her eyes narrow. She still has Cozy pulled close and her foreleg tightens around the pegasus’ neck. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Cozy attempts to pull back from the grip but the effort is fruitless. “Hey, that hurts a little, Pinkamena.”

“Being here brings back a lot of painful memories for me, Cozy. It reminds me constantly of all the things I did. How my friends died by my hooves only a few feet from where we stand, their bodies dismembered and butchered. Turned into edibles in this very oven. Of all the places in this world, this is the most harrowing for me. It’s like spiders in my brain.” Pinkamena’s eyes flash wildly and peer unblinking into the filly. “I’m here because I want to make you happy but I can’t take the lies anymore. Let’s not play these games or I might do something else I regret. The ghosts of my dead friends haunt me here and I can’t take their voices and your lies both.”

Cozy squirms but appears transfixed, if not hypnotized, by Pinkamena’s unblinking stare. Cozy breathes hard, her voice squeaking as she speaks, “I di-didn’t lie.”

Pinkamena pushes Cozy onto her back and stands over her, a smile beginning to spread like a disease across her lips. The pupils of her eyes vibrate and her words are broken by the beginnings of laughter. “Yes, haha, you did. My dear, dear, filly. You … haha … have been quite naughty of late. Hahaha. Tell me about the inquisitors again.”

Cozy is near speechless and begins to tremble against the concrete floor. “Th--they came while yo-you were gone and bur-burned—”

“YOU burned my house down, Cozy! Hahahaha. In ... hahaha ... order to use me as your … hahahaha ... weapon against Twilight.”

“I … I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please, you’re scaring me.” Cozy is quite uncomfortable. Her squirming does nothing to placate Pinkamena, whose grin continues to widen, her head unzipping to reveal those dagger teeth. Pinkamena presses down onto Cozy, looming above her, eyes shaking in their sockets and saliva dripping from her pointed teeth.

“You’re … hahahahahaha … very smart, my dear. Hahahaha. Quite the perspicacious,... hahahahaha ... intuitive filly. Manipulative. Hahahaha. But I’ve seen … hahahaha … your thoughts and plans. I’m … not as foolish …. Hahaha … as you think. I’ve given up so many lives … hahahah … for you. I’ve lived ...hahaha … horrors you can’t conceive of …. Hahaha … to be here with you. But your lies are hurting me.” Pinkmena sounds like a different pony, her voice has changed and bears the inflection of madness. It’s as if something else entirely is possessing the pony we have seen until this point. Her movements are twitchy and quick as she lowers herself onto Cozy Glow. As impossible as it seems, her jaw appears to unhinge and open impossibly wide as if to devour the pegasus alive. The laughter is shrill and manic, piercing to the ear. In this reporter’s opinion, this is the monster from all those years ago. This is the real Pinkamena hiding behind the melancholic mare I’ve observed on video up until now.

Cozy must sense this as well as her movements have become desperate and panicked. She breathes in short bursts and squeals in terror. Her eyes clench and tears slip from them. “Please! Please, Pinkamena! I’m sorry! I started the fire! I’m sorry I’ve been tricking you! Please don’t kill me!” she cries as her back hooves strike out in all directions. One such kick catches a brick below the gaping maw of the oven and it falls to the floor with a loud crack.

Pinkamena's attention and her head snaps to the oven as the brick falls loose, her frightening visage thankfully hidden from the view of the camera. When she turns back to face the filly, it’s the Pinkamena we have grown accustomed to. In an instant the monster has retreated back into the depths from which it came. “Kill you? I’d never kill you, Cozy.” She smiles softly to the horrified filly who is confused and struggling to regain her composure. Pinkamena abruptly jerks forward to kiss Cozy’s forehead. The smile disappears in an instant however and her voice becomes cold and severe. “But I’m done with the lies. I’m going to kill Twilight for you because you are my entire world. Not because you tricked me into it. Be honest with me, Cozy. I know the difference.”

Cozy nods quickly and wipes her face. She struggles to formulate words but stammers out, “I… I’m sorry.”

Releasing the pegasus, Pinkamena turns her full attention to the oven and the thing inside the hole left by the brick. “Look what you found! How could I forget? There’s a loose brick here with a little space behind it. I would always hide the extra key to my bedroom in it just in case I lost my regular one. In case of key emergency.”

Cozy remains very still and stays on her back.

“It’s getting late. We’ll look in my old room tomorrow. Did you put the latch down on the door to the basement?”

Cozy watches, eyes large and uncertain. She nods in very quick, short movements at Pinkamena.

“I’ll just make sure.” Pinkamena moves towards the camera and notices it. “I’ll turn this off as well. I guess you forgot to turn it off.” As she walks to the camera, her grin spreads wildly and she chuckles to herself. Her eyes become wild once more as she reaches a leg out to shut the power off. Cozy staggers to her hooves in the background, wary and watching the mare. Pinkamena’s grin leans in close and the video ends.