My Final Confession: Relapse

So, it can’t be coincidence, Set? They are being shut down? Hoofington, Fillydelphia, and Manehattan are reporting stream loss? Thanks, Set. No, no we have to make the announcement so that the public knows what is going on. Then we will continue. Don’t send anyone topside and make sure the doors are locked.

Loyal viewers, Perfect News is being targeted by the Royal Guard. Several more of our relays have just went offline and many cities in Equestria have been rendered deaf to the truth by our government. They want to keep you all in the dark about the recent developments within our society. Our acting dictator, Shining Armor, is stomping on the right to freedom of the press in order to conceal his power grab. We ask you, the people of our nation, to stand up for your rights if we are taken off the air. The blatant illegality of media censorship is the first step to tyranny.

Don’t worry, we here at our secret location will continue to bring the story to you until the very last moment. Time may be of the essence so let us continue.

Presented to the camera is a mason jar filled nearly to the brim with a powder the color of brown sugar. Cozy pops her head into frame and smiles cutely. “Sleeping powder. Doesn’t look like a lot, does it? But, Pinkamena says, it’s concentrated. Like when a cook reduces a sauce, making the flavor stronger.”

Sitting the jar down on a desk in the wasted bedroom, Cozy supplements it with another much smaller vial. “And the antidote. If someone drinks it before exposure to the powder, the powder will have no effect on them.”

Something rustles in the darkness of the open door behind the Pegasus and one of her diminutive ears flicks back, the rest of her noggin swiveling to follow suit. Unperturbed, Cozy turns back and begins loosening the lid of the large jar. Sticking the edge of one hoof in, she scoops a tiny amount of the finely ground powder onto the keratin and inspects it closely. “It really is well made… Zebra magic!”

Cozy smirks and her eyes become slits as they narrow with mischievous intent. “Listen, Cooking Corner fans, I’m here all alone while Pinkamena goes to nab us some dinner and items for our scheme … and I’m bored. So I’m going to let you in on our plans.

First, we have to make a distraction, something that will bring the Royal Guards here while we make our way to Canterlot. I’m … I’m not sure what that entails but Pinkamena knows and has been creepily giggling about it all day. I have to stay upstairs, she says, but I’m going to conveniently leave you, Mr. Camera, down here to record what she does. Even ... even if it’s bad, I want to know.

Second, we are going to sneak into the castle. I have a plan for that as long as Pinkamena can find the stuff I need.”

A gray streaked pink tail flitters at the edge of the screen and disappears as a cross expression spills across Cozy’s features. Again, the Pegasus looks behind her, movements quicker this time. Blue curls flounce in place from the jerking motion. It is evident Cozy is surveying the dilapidated bedroom by the slight tilts and rotations of her neck and head.

“Then we use this stuff here,” she taps the jar, “after taking the antidote to put the whole castle to sleep. Pinkie says she knows how we can distribute it quickly. It should knock out everyone, including Twilight. That will make it easy to steal her crown. Once we have that, it should grant me powers, change me into an alicorn princess. Similar to when I took Discord’s power … but more controllable and less stupid. With that, I can rule all of Equestria! I want to kill Twilight but maybe I’ll lock her up in stone for a few centuries! Parade her friends and family before her and make them worship me as their God-Empress with Pinkamena right there with me!” She begins laughing maniacally and holding her hooves up in a victory she has yet to attain. She closes her eyes, most likely lost in her imagination.

An unmanicured pink hoof with many cracks and abrasions darts to the open jar, dipping lightly, and exiting the frame with a small pile of the dusty substance. The agility is marvelous but the stealth is more remarkable as Cozy Glow is completely ignorant of the action only a few inches from her.

Cozy’s wings titter as she looks back to the camera, a wry smile dancing on her lips. “Anyway, Zebra’s might be rude but, if this stuff works, it will be amazing and mostly worth it.”

“Cozy, what did I say about staying up tonight and making videos?” Pinkamena’s voice comes from seemingly nowhere causing the Pegasus to snap upright, eyes as wide as empty bowls. She puts on a sheepish grin and giggles lightly. “Oh! There you are. Golly, you sure are sneaky, Miss Pinkamena. I… I… um, was just wondering how we were going to test the powder.”

“I’m glad you are so curious. Since you have disobeyed me, again, it saves me from having to go out to find a ‘volunteer’,” a sinister chuckle like the sputtering of a drowning child bubbles sickly.

Cozy turns to face Pinkamena just outside of frame. “What do you mean?” Her whole body twists in the desk chair to be met with a blast of caramel-colored dust directly across her snout. Sprinkles like powdered cocoa dot the filly like freckles. It clouds the pastel filly’s cheeks and she sputters and coughs, partial expletives pour from her but are lost to meaning as Cozy’s eyes roll and she unsteadily attempts to keep herself upright. Small legs ragdoll up in search of something to grasp to no avail as her wings flutter instinctually. Cozy falls back out of the chair and out of frame with a heavy thud as her back legs cartwheel up next to the chair.

Pinkamena enters the frame with a sadistic grin of knives flashing in the minimal light. She looks down over the chair and a deep snoring fills the audio. “Curiosity killed the Cozy, my dear.” A high pitched chuckle issues from her throat and Pinkamena turns and flips the camera’s power.