Decisions Decisions

Chapters

A Friendship Most Fowl
Giving Chitin a Chance
To Dance with Dragons
Love Birds
Hirsute Harem
Cunning Conspiracies
Bird Bro
An Alicorn’s Appeal
All or Nothing

A Friendship Most Fowl

With a dejected sigh, Anon checked the clock for the umpteenth time. The last two weeks had been a maelstrom, leaving him physically and emotionally exhausted. Thankfully, the ordeals he’d been suffering through were nearly over; all he had to do was survive one more day…

In a last ditch effort to stop the ceaseless advances of his would-be paramours, he’d made a deal with the devil - well, maybe not an actual devil. Twilight had concocted a scheme that could bring his misadventures to an end; all he had to do was date each of his suitors, giving them a full day of his time. After everything was said and done, he’d be free to choose whichever creature suited his fancy - that is, if he chose any of them at all.

Thus far, he’d gone out with Ocellus, Smolder, Silverstream, Yona, and even Cozy Glow, leaving Gallus for last. Given everything he’d been through with his other admirers, he wasn’t sure what the snarky griffon had planned for him. Knowing it wouldn’t be long before the pint-sized blue bird-cat came knocking at his door, he groaned to himself.

Knock Knock Knock-Knock Knock

The sound sent a shiver through Anon’s spine, causing him to wince. Willing his body to move, he pushed himself up from his recliner and strode to the entryway. Silently praying that he wouldn’t find Gallus wearing anything overtly provocative, he turned the doorknob and languidly peered out. It came as no surprise that the griffon stood outside waiting for him, though something seemed amiss.

Gazing up at the human, Gallus knit his brow. “Uh - you alright, Dude?” he asked, noting the world-weary expression on the man’s face.

“So, what’s the plan?” Anon mirthlessly asked, trying and failing to put on a smile. It wasn’t that he was displeased to see his feathered friend, but he couldn’t help but think the griffon had something up his non-existent sleeve; considering what the bird-cat had pulled before, donning a maid’s outfit and seducing him, he’d been on his toes.

“Well, for starters,” Gallus grumbled, leaning over and picking up two large boxes and a bag, “I got us some pizza, garlic bread, and a couple of new comics.” Precariously balancing the cargo on one clawed limb, he sauntered past the human.

Squinting at his guest, trying his damnedest to puzzle out where the trap was, Anon watched his companion enter his apartment. There had to be some sort of trick or catch to the painfully casual entry. Closing the door, following Gallus with his eyes, he watched the griffon hop onto his couch.

Opening the larger of the two boxes, after making himself comfortable, Gallus retrieved a steaming slice of pizza and helped himself to a bite. Chewing on the delectable bit of cheesy goodness, he fetched a second sliver and held it out for his host. “It’s nice and hot, what’re you waiting for?”

Walking over, drawn by the tantalizing aroma of the freshly baked pie, Anon took the proffered slice and gave it a cursory sniff. It sure as hell seemed fine, though he couldn’t be certain his guest hadn’t done something to the food. Taking a nibble, savoring the wonderful combination of dough, cheese, and meaty toppings, he eased himself down.

“You got garlic bread too?” Anon asked, swallowing the small mouthful.

“Right here, Dude,” Gallus chirped, invitingly opening the second box to reveal the greasy goods.

Spying the buttery garlic knots, the irony wasn’t lost on the man - still, he couldn’t help but help himself to one. Plucking one of the savory bits from the container, he popped it into his maw. Truth be told, he’d been too concerned about their impending date to eat that morning, so the unexpected meal was a welcome surprise.

“You mind if I talk while you eat?” the griffon began, setting his slice atop a napkin on his lap.

Seeing as how talking seemed harmless enough, Anon shrugged and nodded. So long as the guy didn’t go flaunting his pillowy posterior about, he’d have nothing to complain about. Leaning back, taking another bite of his pizza, he motioned for his companion to continue.

“Look, I’m gonna level with you, I’m not here to seduce you or anything; as fun as that would be, I’ve got something more important I need to get off my chest,” Gallus muttered, looking away.

The griffon’s tone and demeanor had flipped on a dime, putting Anon ill at ease. For as long as he’d known the cocky little bird-cat, he’d never seen him look so downtrodden. Setting his food on the table, he gave his guest his undivided attention. Before he could ask what was the matter, he found himself looking into a pair of azure eyes.

“This whole competition is stupid,” Gallus protested, furrowing his brow. “I’m pretty sure that I speak for all of us when I say we want you as a friend. Yeah, none of us would mind having you as a romantic partner, but we don’t want to lose you. You’re a good guy, fun to hang out with, and you’re the coolest human any of us know. I just...wanted you to know that…”

Taken aback by the admission, Anon sat silently and digested what he’d heard. It was true that he valued all of the students as friends, though he’d been too preoccupied with fending off their advances to really think about it. Regardless of who he chose, if he decided to pick any of them at all, he’d hate to have any of them leave his life.

He’d been a janitor at the school since he’d found himself in Equestria; hell, he was there shortly after the academy opened! The diverse array of students, while initially somewhat jarring, had become a part of his everyday routine and he’d grown fond of being around them. There were occasional disagreements or troubles, sure, yet they almost always brought a smile to his face.

Sinking into his seat, grappling with the existential crisis, his shoulders wilted. Even if he turned down his suitors, he couldn’t see things ending favorably for everyone. Several of his potential paramours would likely become resentful with him - not to mention that Cozy would remain eternally imprisoned in her statue.

Apparently sensing his unease, the griffon reached over and patted Anon’s thigh. The comforting gesture jarred him from his thoughts, snapping him back to the present. Smiling over, he affectionately ruffled the feathers on his cerulean companion’s head. “Thanks…”

“No biggie. Hey, I got the most recent issue of The Power Ponies! I heard they canned that artist who drew the villain like Fluttershy,” Gallus remarked, wiping his claws and digging into the bag.

“Ugh - Yeah, I’m not sure why they hired that hack,” Anon groused, pleased with the momentary distraction.

Despite Gallus’ apparent lack of interest in bedding him, he realized he was going to have a tough decision to make. Taking a comic from the bag, thumbing through the pages, his mind wandered. Right then and there, at that very moment, he decided that no matter what he wasn’t going to lose any of them…

Giving Chitin a Chance

Five years had passed, since Anon had made his fateful decision, and he couldn’t be happier. Having steeled his resolve and informed his friends of his choice, things had worked out surprisingly smoothly. Not a single one of his companions had abandoned him, taking his selection in stride. As time passed and the various students graduated, he kept in contact with everybody; it wasn’t that difficult either, considering most of them lived in or near Ponyville. Hell, Twilight had even decided to free Cozy Glow, although she was placed in the newly minted Friendship Gulag near the Crystal Empire.

After Ocellus had finished up at the School of Friendship, Twilight had given her and her human lover the caverns below the university to live in. Anon thought the decision was somewhat odd, although things quickly made sense. Having been woefully ignorant of changeling breeding habits, it didn’t take him long to learn why they’d been gifted the expansive grottoes under the institution.

…

Knock Knock Knock

“I’m coming, hold on!” Anon bellowed, trudging towards the front door.

The entryway was the only formal access point to his home, although there were untold numbers of tunnels which led to the surface. Residing in a labyrinthine cavern took a bit of getting used to, yet he’d adapted rather quickly. After ensuring the creature comforts were all accounted for, adorning his earthen abode with the basic amenities, his home had become quite pleasant. That being said, being the co-ruler of a hive of changelings wasn’t the easiest thing.

Shortly after he’d begun cohabitating with his shapeshifting lover, he’d discovered how absolutely prolific changelings could be. Discovering that he could successfully mate with a bug-horse was surprising enough, yet he’d had no way of knowing he’d sire a small army of the adorable creatures! It was a juggling act - quite literally, at times - but he had no regrets.

“Yeah?” Anon asked, throwing the door open.

Twilight stepped back, as a trio of young changelings scampered out the entrance; watching them run past, laughing as they bolted towards the stairs, she shifted her attention to their bipedal patriarch. Cradling a grub to his chest, with no fewer than four of the little shapeshifters clinging to his frame, he impassively looked down at her.

“Afternoon, Anon! Uh...Do you need me to…?” she trailed off, pointing back at the three escaping youth.

“They’ll be fine. Besides running amuck in the school, they aren’t going to cause any problems. Come on in,” he intoned, motioning for her to enter.

Trotting inside, Twilight casually inspected his home; not much had changed since her last visit, though she did her best to routinely check in on the multitude of changelings residing beneath the academy. Lit by a number of softly glowing crystals, the network of tunnels and alcoves were astonishingly warm and inviting.

The environs of the hive, as inviting as they were, didn’t hold a candle to the denizens who haunted them. Not much had changed about Anon, and the little changelings were all healthy and well cared for, yet Ocellus had blossomed into an impressive young matriarch. Not only had the new queen grown substantially in stature and maturity, but she’d become far less timid as well.

“Honey, is someone at the door?” a demure voice called out.

As if sensing she’d been summoned, Ocellus trotted into view. Nearly as large as Thorax, her frame had filled out rather extraordinarily well over the years. Tall and well built, yet retaining her tranquil demeanor, she’d become quite the attractive matron - one whom Anon seemed more than pleased with indulging. Though she’d only birthed a clutch of eggs two months prior, her belly was already distended with eggs once again.

“Hey babe,” Anon murmured. Walking over, ignoring the offspring latched to his person, he gave his wife a peck on the cheek.

Interestingly enough, he’d found himself taking to fatherhood like a fish to water - sure, being a dad to over two-dozen kids could be a chore at times, but he’d loved every minute of it. He’d kept his job as a janitor, his betrothed was a tutor and diplomat, and everything had been going swimmingly. As far as he was concerned, the fact that Ocellus had flowered into a drop dead gorgeous MILF was just a fringe benefit.

“How’s my little love bug doing this morning?” he asked, stooping down to sweetly embrace his bride. His affection was rewarded by a heartfelt giggle, leaving him to tenderly caress her back.

“Better, now that I got my morning hug,” Ocellus purred, passively feeding on his love.

Though his passion wasn’t expressly needed, the additional nutrition had certainly bolstered her and their childrens’ health. She’d known he was kindhearted and caring to a fault, though she’d failed to fully realize just how plentiful his love really was. Throughout all of Equestria and the lands beyond, she couldn’t imagine a more perfect mate.

“So, how have things been going?” Twilight inquired, as the couple’s hug concluded.

“As far as I can tell, it couldn’t be better,” Anon responded, strolling over to a nearby sofa. Plucking a little one from his back, he plopped onto the couch. “Miss Cheerilee might be pulling her hair out with how big her classes are now, but she seems to be wrangling them all pretty well. With Thorax’s help, giving us a few sitters to look after the younger ones, things have been going really well,” he added, gazing fondly at his wife.

Though he’d assumed Ocellus would make a good mother, she was even better than he’d expected. She was kind and sweet with the kids, only being firm when she absolutely had to, and her love for him had never waned. He’d watched her grow from a timid little changeling into a beautiful queen - his queen - and he was all the more appreciative of her for it.

“Mmmhmm,” Ocellus hummed, snuggling up beside her man. “It was kind of hectic at first, after the first clutch hatched, but everything worked out just wonderfully. Thank you so, so much for all the help, Twilight.”

“It’s been my pleasure!” the Princess merrily replied, beaming at the couple. “Thanks to you two, relations with the changelings have been better than ever! The school is flourishing, Ponyville has a whole host of new residents, and I don’t think anycreature minds having so many gosh-darn cute kids around!”

Holding one another, Anon and Ocellus cuddled lovingly on the couch. Years ago, before they’d ever met one another, neither one of them would have figured their lives would take such an extraordinary turn, yet they couldn’t be more pleased with the outcome. They’d found love, they’d made a family, and their lives were practically perfect. Their happily-ever-after was everything they could ever dream of, outshining any possibility of what could have been…

To Dance with Dragons

After finishing up with her studies at the School of Friendship, Smolder and Anon had gotten a place for themselves in Ponyville. The man had kept his job as a janitor, doing what he could to support the household, while his scaled bride had taken a somewhat unique occupational selection. She’d developed a keen interest in cartography and navigation, during her senior year, and committed herself to becoming an airship captain with open arms.

…

“Sweet Celestia, that storm was a major pain in the ass to get through,” Smolder groaned, plodding through the door and into the foyer. “Anon, you home?” she called out, peeking into the living room.

Drawn by the lilting tones of his wife’s somewhat gravelly voice, Anon scurried from the kitchen. He’d gotten word that she’d decided to pilot through a typhoon two days prior, leaving him on edge ever since. Rushing through the house, spying his winged lover loping into the den, he flung himself upon her.

“Don’t you ever do that kind of stupid shit again,” he grumbled, wrapping her in a bear hug.

Shortly after Anon had chosen her to be his mate, Smolder had hit some sort of crazy draconic growth spurt. More than doubling in size, in less than a year, she’d sprouted to nearly his height - well, if you didn’t count her horns. Standing straight, the top of her frilled head came to rest just below his eyes, leveling the playing field for their physical affection towards one another. It wasn’t really a problem though; as far as he was concerned, there was simply more of her to love.

“I told you I’d be fine,” Smolder groaned, halfheartedly wriggling in his grasp.

“I don’t care what you told me,” Anon sighed. Hooking a finger under her chin, he gently raised her face upwards. “It’s bad enough that you’re gone for days at a time, so the last thing I need is the added worry,” he whispered, tenderly pressing his lips to hers.

Caught off guard, Smolder’s pupils shrank to razored slits, her cheeks went a brilliant crimson, and her heart skipped a beat. Regardless of how often the man had expressed his feelings for her, the act of being doted upon always wound up getting her flustered. Wrapping one arm around his back, she pulled him close and reciprocated the kiss.

“You’re just saying that because you don’t want to lose the best piece of scaled tail this side of the badlands,” she retorted, pulling away and slipping one hand to his rump. Something about the way he looked after her almost always got her fire going, even if it wasn’t usually his intent.

“Says the girl who’s got lone rights to the sole human in Equestria,” he teased, reaching down and giving her bottom a squeeze. Sinking his fingers into the sumptuous reptilian ham, he thanked his lucky stars that she’d ended up a bit thicker than the reigning dragon ruler.

Smolder giggled, enjoying the sensation of his grasp on her tush. Being paired with someone and not having to worry about claws or talons had its benefits - ones she’d grown increasingly fond of over the years. Retracting her head and pursing her lips, she exhaled a heart-shaped smoke ring around his face.

“You get a chance to talk to Twilight?” she inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, about that, she said she’d be fine if it was only a few days a month,” Anon responded, blowing the wispy fumes away.

“A few days? What the hell does that mean? The school isn’t the only place that needs a top-tier janitor,” Smolder rebuked, her mood souring ever so slightly.

Having a regular custodian on her ship was only part of why she wanted Anon to join her crew. There was no denying that having her lover at arm’s reach, while she sailed the skies, would make her job exponentially more pleasant. As things stood, she was away for two or three days a week; it was slightly inconvenient, but it paid well and she adored the freedom it afforded her.

“Try not to get bent out of shape about it,” he whispered, leaning in and draping his head over her shoulder. “You worried some other girl will swoop in and steal your precious, two-legged treasure while you’re away…?”

The word sent a shiver up Smolder’s spine. In every conceivable way, Anon was her prized possession. Though it hadn’t been a true competition to win his heart, she considered herself a victor amongst her peers. Covetous draconic nature aside, she was absolutely smitten with him and couldn’t picture herself being with anyone else.

Pushing herself away, she grabbed his hand and stomped towards the bedroom. “We can go talk to Twilight after…” she murmured, hauling the man behind herself.

“A...after what?” Anon blurted. He’d been with her long enough to recognize the signs. Her tone, her pace, that flash he’d seen in her eyes; he’d inadvertently pressed a button and was about to suffer the consequences.

Stopping in her tracks and wheeling around to face him, Smolder rammed Anon’s back against the wall. Stepping in, bringing her hand to his loins, she delicately groped his package through the denim of his jeans. “After I remind you who you belong to,” she purred, gingerly nibbling his neck.

The sensation of her fangs dancing over his flesh, and of his hardening equipment in her taloned grip was too much to bear. As she’d gotten bigger, more easily manhandling him in the bedroom, his appetite for her domineering side had blossomed to nigh fetishistic levels. Grinning down at her, he couldn’t help but add a bit more fuel to the fire.

“Who do I belong to again? I don’t quite remember…” he mockingly noted.

“That’s how it is, huh? Trust me, once I’m done, the whole town will be able to smell who put a ring on it,” Smolder chuckled, releasing his crotch and lifting his forearm; a platinum band lie nestled on his ring finger, mirroring one on her left hand.

And with that small reminder, the two began passionately making out in their living room.. Years ago, before they’d ever met one another, neither one of them would have figured their lives would take such an extraordinary turn, yet they couldn’t be more pleased with the outcome. Their happily-ever-after was everything they could ever dream of, outshining any possibility of what could have been…

Love Birds

Even before her graduation, Silverstream had figured out what she wanted to do with her life. Having set her sights on a very particular job at the School of Friendship, she’d begun an apprenticeship with Starlight Glimmer in her junior year. In the end, all her hard work had paid off; after getting her degree, she was offered a position as the institution’s counselor.

…

“Anon, you won’t believe what happened today!” Silver excitedly squawked, bursting into their on-campus apartment.

“Whazza -” Anon blurted, jarred from his slumber. Even after all these years, he’d retained his job as the academy’s resident custodian. As pleased as he was with keeping his position, being afforded the opportunity to watch students grow and prosper, several aspects of his life had changed.

For starters, his apartment had seen a rather substantial renovation; now comprised of two bedrooms, a den, a kitchen, and a spacious bathroom, his abode was larger than it had ever been. It was a necessary adjustment, of course, given that he’d been living with his wife for nearly half a decade. Twilight had warned him that hippogriffs tended to grow well past puberty and - boy howdy - she was not kidding.

Apparently, bird-cat-horses hit full physical maturity significantly later than many species in Equestria. By the time Silver had stopped getting taller, she stood nearly at eye-level with her bipedal paramour - hell, she’d eventually wound up as big as Princess Celestia! Besides the substantially increased height, she’d recently been growing in a slightly different way.

“Anon,” Silver bleated, rushing over and shaking the man by the shoulders, “one of the students said I reminded them of their mom!” Grinning from ear to feathered ear, she beamed down at her bipedal paramour.

Smiling up at her, that last word caused Anon’s gaze to wander towards her belly. He couldn’t have guessed that the two of them could procreate, but that hadn’t stopped it from eventually happening. Honestly, taking into account that they’d never used any form of contraception, he shouldn’t have been that surprised with the inevitable outcome - still, after receiving news that they’d be expecting a foal, they were both pleasantly amazed.

“Guess it’s not bad practice is it, huh?” he hummed, pushing himself up from his seat. Lovingly stroking her cheek, he leaned in and gave her beak a little peck.

“Hey, didn’t you say that one of the kids mentioned you having a - how did you put it - dad bod?” she snickered, countering his small kiss with one of her own.

“Ugh - don’t remind me,” Anon groaned, pinching his midsection. Despite his best efforts, he still hadn’t gotten himself going to the gym regularly.

“I don’t see why it’s a problem,” Silver tutted, reaching up and gingerly lifting his face towards her, “after all, you’re going to be the best dad ever…” Punctuating the sweet remark with a second, markedly more passionate kiss, she closed her eyes.

Back when she was a young mare, she would be lucky enough to meet a kinder, more gentle soul than Anon. To her, it didn’t matter that he was a different species or from another world altogether - the only thing that did matter was that they were made for one another. Two kindred spirits, brought together by the strangest twist of fate, destined to be with one another.

Anon’s fingers drifted through the hippogriff’s mane, as he leaned into her. She was, in a very real sense, everything he could have ever dreamt of in a lover. Cheerful, good-natured, quirky, and she always managed to raise his spirits. Now with a child on the way, he was one step closer to the iconic fantasy of raising a family.

“Mmmmm,” Silver contentedly hummed into him, savoring the moment. Unfurling her wings, folding the feathered appendages around his back, she pulled her face away. “So, did you have any plans for our afternoon?”

As with a great many of his days off, he was pleased enough to wile away his time - well, almost. There was one thing he looked forward to, without fail. No matter how difficult his work was, how many toilets he’d had to unclog, or how persistent the stains in the arts and crafts room were, one thing made it all worth it; coming home and seeing his wife’s beautiful face - yeah, that always made his troubles melt away.

“Well, since the weather is nice, how about a walk, followed by some dinner in town, then maybe get some ice cream at Sugarcube Corner?” Anon mused, peering into her violet eyes.

As silly as it sounded, he found the simple life that fate had gifted him profoundly rewarding. By many accounts, his routine was boring and pedestrian; he worked five days a week, did his best to keep his affairs in order, and tended to his wife and unborn child’s needs - still, as bland as it seemed, he couldn’t be happier. He could never have imagined fortune would have thrust him into such a satisfying state of existence, although it was as close to heaven as he could imagine.

He was not rich, he’d lost the home and friends he once had, yet he’d found something so much more worthwhile. What he’d gained, the love of a fair creature he’d thought was little more than a legend, overshadowed anything his old world could afford him. It was one in a million - no, even rarer than that, but he’d managed to find his soul mate.

“Maybe we can get the ice cream first?” she demurely inquired, flicking a strand of sky blue hair away from her face.

“Normally, I wouldn’t want to ruin my meal; but for you,” Anon whispered, reluctant to let her go, “sure.”

Laughing to themselves, hand in wing, the pair eventually made their way out for the evening. Like many afternoons before and many afternoons which were yet to come, they relished their time with one another. It didn’t matter where they were or what they were doing; so long as they were together, happiness would be with them.

Hirsute Harem

Won over by her physical might and to the point attitude, Yona had been the obvious courtship choice for Anon. Upon hearing his decision she’d been thrilled, leading to a night of debauchery that literally rocked the foundations of the School of Friendship. The pair were inseparable for months on end, until the unthinkable happened. Shortly before graduation, the runtish yak left her human paramour for another.

Resentful and heartbroken, after the breakup, Anon was an inconsolable mess. His work suffered, his mood darkened considerably, and everycreature who knew him realized that something had broken in the man. Despite their best efforts, doing what they could to cheer him up or lighten his mood, nothing worked. Eventually, against Twilight’s wishes, he resigned and moved on.

Anon knew there was only one glimmer of hope, one possibility to fill the shaggy hole left in his sundered heart, so that’s what he sought out. Selling his meager belongings and setting out with a rucksack of his clothes, he hopped aboard a train to the Crystal Empire. The ride to the northern lands was long, but what followed was far more taxing.

After arriving at the land of crystalline equines, he continued his journey on foot. Out of the metropolis and into the frozen wastelands he trudged, single-mindedly stomping his way further away from everything he used to call home. With his lover gone, having traded him in for some painfully pedestrian pale pistachio pastel pony named Sandbar, he forsook his old life and everything in it.

For weeks he journeyed, slogging through snow, sleet, and driving winds. Finally, on the cusp of starvation, he reached his destination. Cresting a hill, he spied a series of small yurts in a valley below. Stopping for a moment and digging into his bag, he retrieved one of his most cherished possessions.

Boldly approaching the small settlement, with the horned helm atop his head, he made his grand entrance. Though he’d expected to get a decently warm reception, things had gone far, far better than he could have hoped. After receiving a steaming bowl of hearty stew, he was brought before none other than Prince Rutherford.

The regal bovid was more than sympathetic with the man, somberly nodding at Anon’s recounted tale of heartache and sorrow. Much to the man’s surprise, he was offered a furnished yurt, job, and all the yakly comforts his cloven hoofed brethren could afford. Pleased with the chance for a new beginning, he leapt at the opportunity.

Taking to his position like a sasquatch to snow, Anon poured his heart and soul into contributing for his herd. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and before he knew it, nearly half a decade had marched by. Unlike his tenure at the School of Friendship, his time with the Yaks changed him in body and mind.

The manual labor, harsh conditions, and gruff company molded him into a mountain of a man. Extraordinarily lean and positively covered with muscle, his physique wound up being not unlike the barbarians of old. Beyond his chiseled aesthetic, he’d gradually climbed the ranks among his quadrupedal kin.

After many years, Anon was granted his own splinter tribe of yaks to look after. As the bovid equivalent to a duke or baron, his position came with several benefits. Not only was his tent substantially larger than most and furnished with all sorts of finery, but he’d also accumulated a small harem of dri. Yes, the job of ruling over a small herd of ox had rewards, but it wasn’t all glitz and glamor.

Besides periodically having to supervise the nomadic movements of his people, he also had to defend them against the occasional raid from diamond dogs, the odd Maulwurf, and even a Winterzilla on one fateful night. It wasn’t long after founding his clan that he’d accumulated a number of scars and small trophies, though they weren’t his true prize - no, that title went to his progeny.

The young yaks he sired were unlike any the north-lands had ever seen; strong, extraordinarily cunning, and astonishingly healthy, each and every one was a testament to their species. Although he hadn’t planned on raising a family under such circumstances, Anon was an exceptional father. Stern but fair, loving, and protective of his young, he set an example of parenting few ox ever knew.

In time, word spread among Anon’s people of his exploits - of how the strange yak who walked on two legs was somehow destined to lead them to a bright new era. Regardless of the name he’d made for himself, he would have never anticipated that he’d be chosen as Prince Rutherford’s successor. It was with great grace and humility that he accepted the offer, being crowned as the high chief of the illustrious yak empire.

The last he’d heard of his long lost love, Yona, she’d settled down with her earth pony paramour and taken a job at the Carousel Boutique. As he’d aged, the pain of losing her dulled, though he didn’t think the scar in his heart would ever fully heal. He never reached back to her, not once, content to leave her to her own devices - besides, he had plenty to keep him occupied.

Between his technological know-how, experience as a leader, and diplomatic skills involving nearly every sapient species on the planet, he saw the legends to fruition. Yaks eventually came to be one of the dominant powers in all of Equestria, standing shoulder to shoulder with their distant equine kin. Songs were sung in his name, chronicling his adventures and herculean struggles against eldritch monsters, scheming villains, and vile seductresses; but those are stories for another time…

Cunning Conspiracies

At least, that’s what most ponies were told. Cozy Glow, a fearsome member of the Triad of Evil, was eventually freed, yet she hadn’t been fated to toil away in some far flung winter hellscape - no, all told, she actually ended up having it pretty good. The Princesses of Equestria, realizing her tactical genius and peerless guile, saw fit to use her as a tool for the empire. Knowing she’d refuse any sort of a standard deal, they made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.

…

“Checkmate in three moves,” Cozy smugly hummed, hovering over the board and sliding her knight to E-5.

Seated opposite, Anon studied the board intently. She rarely bluffed, especially since he’d gotten decent at chess, but he wouldn’t put it past her. Knitting his brow, he moved his bishop to C-4. If she was bullshitting, he’d just needlessly sacrificed the piece; but if she was being truthful, the maneuver may prove as a distraction. He’d gotten somewhat used to subterfuge and clandestine politics, even before his pint-sized paramour had been freed.

After he’d chosen the scheming pegasus as a lover, but before she’d been freed, the alicorns had convened to speak with him in private. Cozy was an intellectual titan who’s creativity and cunning could benefit the world, yet there was a small catch. The Princesses couldn’t openly free her, not after she’d nearly conquered the planet, so they needed a plan - a plan which involved a janitor.

Knowing that Anon held her interest, carnal or otherwise, was enough for the monarchy to place their hope in him. Promising him that he’d be freed from working another day in his life, swearing all of his needs would be met, they gave him a proposal. Act as Cozy Glow’s shepherd, steering her to work for Equestria, and he could have practically anything he wanted.

There were a few concessions, of course, such as living on the outskirts of the Crystal Empire, openly denying any knowledge of the megalomaniacal mare’s whereabouts, and ensuring Cozy wore an amulet which masked her appearance when they were out and about, but that was about it. He got a free house, a very gracious monthly stipend, and the direct ear of the rulers of the land. All he had to do was keep a tight leash on his diminutive spouse - figuratively or literally.

“Checkmate in twoooo,” Cozy sang, gliding her queen to C-3. “Are you trying to lose?” she snickered, drifting over and pecking his cheek.

Though she would never admit it to anybody but Anon, she’d never been happier in her entire life. Solving the painfully simplistic problems the Princesses brought her was a piece of cake - so easy that she’d taken the initiative in tackling issues which they hadn’t asked her about. The logistics of materials shipping, infrastructural upgrades and maintenance, crop rotations and agricultural improvements, she’d addressed them all with ease. Not because the royalty wanted her to, not because she was bored, but because her man had asked.

Truth be told, as quaint as the couple’s life appeared, it was anything but. By day, they’d do things that most couples do: cook, clean, play extraordinarily complex board games, brainstorm ways to better the lives of Equestria’s citizens, or go for walks through the tundra. By night, well, the loser of their daily competitions was relegated to a rather submissive position. Despite Cozy’s ability to beat Anon with a hoof tied behind her back, it wasn’t uncommon that she’d let him win - if only to savor the domineering aftermath.

Frowning up at her, Anon glared back down at the chess pieces. It was only after she’d moved her queen that he realized he was fucked. With no hope of besting her, despite his best efforts, an idea slowly formed. While he couldn’t beat her fairly, nopony could stop him from doing something underhanded.

“Damn,” he moaned, randomly sliding a pawn forward. With the meaningless move complete, he leaned back and shook his head. “Too bad that gambit didn’t work, I’d had something special planned for tonight,” he lamented, double face palming and shaking his head.

Cozy’s ears perked up, upon hearing her husband’s words. “Plans?” she asked, her interest piqued.

His inventiveness in the bedroom was rarely disappointing - especially due to his savant-like knack for creatively amorous activities. Salacious shenanigans aside, he’d proven more than entertaining as a husband. Delightfully quick witted, charming to a fault, and extraordinary obedient - with or without bindings - she’d grown increasingly bound to him. Flitting back to the board, she nudged a rook over.

Seeing the small mare’s obviously intentional mistake, Anon grinned. Reaching out, repositioning his lone bishop, he smiled wolfishly up at her. “Checkmate…” he murmured, tenderly grabbing her forehoof guided her to himself. “Thought you had me, huh?”

“Well…” she giggled, bringing her face to him and kissing his nose, “I kinda do…”
“What am I going to do with you?” he contentedly sighed, wrapping his arms around her.

“Oh, the usual,” Cozy snickered, “tie me up, tell me I’m a bad little filly.”

At her comment, Anon paused. He knew good and damn well that she wasn’t a filly; she simply had a child-like voice and appearance. Her demeanor and lustful interests stood in stark contrast to her aesthetic, which was one reason why her attempts at deception were so successful - regardless, he cherished and even admired her.

“Since I won, I guess I don’t really have a choice,” he chuckled. Cradling her in his arms, he strode off towards their chamber. Equestria as a whole was prospering, one of the largest threats to the land had been effectively galvanized, and he was happy. As unconventional as it was, it was the closest thing to a happily-ever-after as he could possibly imagine…

Bird Bro

Unsure of which paramour he would choose, Anon took an unconventional approach. Gallus was the only male interested in him, which meant several things. First and foremost, as a fellow dude, he found it remarkably easy to lounge and casually shoot the shit with the little bird-cat. Secondly and most importantly, he’d spent more time hanging out with his feathered companion than any of the other candidates - as such, the decision was obvious.

…

“Sweet merciful Celestia,” Gallus groaned, barging through the front door of the apartment. “Do you have any idea how much the Princesses can eat?!” he rhetorically asked, unsure if his roommate was even home.

Pulling the crested helmet from atop his head, he set it on a rack beside the exit. It was only after he stepped through the foyer and into the living room did he notice Anon resting on the couch. With his feet propped up on the coffee table, right next to a pair of extra large pizza boxes, the man waved over at him.

“Picked us up some dinner,” Anon commented through a mouthful of pie, motioning towards the meal. “Chicken with pineapple and a meat lover’s - ya know, since you’re such a fan…” he added, nonchalantly gesturing towards his crotch. Rolling his eyes, the griffon plodded over to join him.

Anon was unsure how to classify his relationship with Gallus, even after they’d lived together for nearly half a decade. From an outsider’s perspective, they could be called a romantic couple, yet he was reluctant to categorize it as such. Sure, they cared and looked after one another, but that didn’t mean they were in love - did it?

Sure, they spent most of their free time together. Yeah, he’d taken a custodial position at the Canterlot Castle after Gallus got hired as a royal guard. Okay, maybe they fooled around every so often, each helping the other scratch the occasional lustful itch; but none of that meant they were dating or anything.

They were just bros! Good friends who hung out, played games, shared a cold drink every so often, and sometimes fooled around! There wasn’t anything romantic about sharing a bed with your best buddy, or spooning on those cold Canterlot nights - at least, that’s what Anon told himself.

The truth was slightly different. Whether or not they acknowledged their status, the two had somehow built a relationship to be envied. In all but title, they were practically wed to one another. They split the bills and chores, switched off on cooking duties, looked after each other during bouts of illness, and even bickered like an old married couple over frivolous matters.

Regardless of what they called it, Anon and Gallus were thick as thieves. Neither of them had pursued any dating or courtship matters, since they’d begun cohabitating, but they didn’t think much about it. They were comfortable hanging out together, sharing the joys and laments of life, which was all that mattered.

“Drink?” Gallus asked, pointing towards the fridge.

“Yeah, maybe one of those fruity ones you’re good at making,” Anon shouted.

“You would want a fruity one,” the griffon chuckled, pouring two glasses of the icy punch for them.

The sound of a distant grumble caused him to smile, as he imagined the man scowling at his remark. He was well aware that his roommate had certain interests - ones which he was more than happy to poke fun of when he could. Grabbing the two beverages in his wings, after placing the pitcher back in the freezer, he trotted back into the den.

“Thanks, Bud,” Anon said, taking the proffered glass.

“No problem, Dude,” Gallus countered, opening one of the two boxes and retrieving a slice of pizza.

Spying the griffon take a piece of his pie, Anon glared over at the azure bird-cat. “You get the meat lover’s, I got the hawaiian,” he groused. He really didn’t mind sharing, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to give his friend grief over it.

“Awwww, poor baby,” Gallus mocked. Setting his pizza down, he grabbed the man’s free hand and moved it to his fluffy chest. “Don’t worry, plenty of breast meat on this bird,” he purred, shooting his companion a wink.

Lack of actual breast meat aside, the griffon’s chest was exquisitely fluffy and warm. Blushing slightly and pulling away, he recalcitrantly set upon his pizza. “You pick out a movie to go see tonight?”

“I was thinking about Fractured Spine Peak,” Gallus mused, shrewdly rubbing his chin.

Rolling his head to the back of the couch, Anon groaned. He’d gotten to pick the last film they’d gone out to see, so it was only fair that he let his buddy choose. The movie in question, a homoerotic romance between two cowponies, was apparently pretty good, yet it wasn’t something he would have picked. With few options left, he resorted to more endearing abuse.

“But that movie’s gay,” he muttered.

“Not as gay as the beak job I’ll give you...If you go, of course,” Gallus teased, running one talloned digit up the man’s chest.

A tingle ran up Anon’s spine, his cheeks darkened, and his loins stirred. Contrary to his original fears, the Griffon’s keratinous jaws were startlingly soft and stimulating. Pushing himself up, he jammed the remaining bite of crust into his maw. Motioning for his friend to join him, he proceeded towards the bedroom.

“Ooooooh! Can’t wait to get to the theater? Anon, you scamp!” Gallus tittered, hopping from the couch.

“If you’d rather get that armor off yourself, be my guest,” the man murmured, knowing full well his feathered comrade struggled with getting into and out of his uniform. With Gallus trotting up behind him, he made a mental note to put their leftovers in the refrigerator - after all, cold pizza with his best bud would make for a fine breakfast.

An Alicorn’s Appeal

It was only after Anon was left to ponder on a potential paramour did he find out what was actually going on. During his second sleepless night in a row, stressed beyond all reasoning, he trudged off to speak with headmare Twilight; she of all ponies could offer him some insight on the situation, or perhaps ease his mind on the matter. Seeing his way into her office, he found something rather unexpected.

The Princess, seated in her chair with a hindleg resting on her desk, was rather energetically rubbing one out to a number of photos. She’d been so engrossed in the situation that she failed to hear the man enter, only stopping when she heard him cough. In a panic, she hastily crammed all of the pictures into a file, but not before Anon rushed over and grabbed a few.

Much to his chagrin, the Alicorn hadn’t just collected a small treasure trove of photographic evidence of his rather scandalous actions, she’d been getting off to them as well. Anon never considered himself a dimwit, yet it was only at that moment that he realized the part she’d been playing. Even if she wasn’t directly responsible for his sexual exploits, she’d definitely been a contributing factor.

Having been caught, Twilight confessed; she’d had several interests in the human, since his arrival in Equestria. Of course, there was her scientific fascination with him, because he was a literal alien, though she’d steadily become captivated in his mating habits. With her mind and loins practically aching for stimulation, she’d orchestrated several of his encounters with her students.

She wasn’t solely to blame for the lewd events which befell Anon, yet she had played a definite part. Smolder getting locked in a closet, suggesting that Yona become assertive, telling Gallus of the man’s affinity for maids, she’d been an unseen force behind it all. Sadly, her little schemes had come to an end, when he’d stumbled upon her in the act.

Confused and more than a little ticked off about the revelation, Anon put Twilight on the spot. Not only did he demand that the Princess apologize to all of the students and help them make amends, but she’d also leave him be and stop spying on him. To his surprise, she gave him a counter offer.

Knowing she’d soon be the ruler of all Equestria, Twilight would have almost an inexhaustible amount of resources and power. Instead of sullying her name, openly admitting to such disgraceful activity, she asked that Anon politely decline the students’ offers and accompany her to Canterlot. She’d quintuple his salary, give him a suite in the castle, and offer him a new job - one which many would consider a dream.

Anon’s new employment, if he agreed to the Princess’ terms, was rather unique. There were those throughout Equestria who had different licentious tastes. Amongst all the races of the lands, regardless of the species, there was a somewhat common fetish about interspecies coitus; as such, the lone human was an exquisitely rare and captivating asset.

Unbeknownst to Anon, Celestia and Luna had turned down various offers to bed the exotic biped. Apparently, according to Twilight, several aristocrats, royals, and celebrities had attempted to bribe their way into his pants. The alicorn sisters had refused them all, of course, yet they weren’t going to retain their power forever.

Unlike the soon to be ex-rulers, Twilight wasn’t opposed to such advances - that was, as long as Anon was willing to oblige them. It didn’t take a genius to realize it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, so the man seized it. After two months of staying at the school, gently declining the advances of his would-be lovers, he moved to the capital with the little purple alicorn.

Anon maintained his friendship with the various students, visiting them regularly and cherishing his time with them, though they all eventually moved on and found love elsewhere. As far as anycreature was concerned, he’d simply taken a better job in the Canterlot castle, at Twilight’s behest, yet that couldn’t be further from the truth. In actuality, the man became an underground sensation.

Effectively the highest grossing male prostitute the world had ever known, Anon was the crème de la crème among Equestria’s adult entertainers. In fact, he was so exclusive that only royalty and the upper echelons of the elite were even aware of his lascivious capabilities. Putting on shows, plowing creatures from far and wide, he was showered with more money and ass than he knew what to do with.

Throughout it all, Twilight had been there; personally watching him work and, more often than not, shamelessly stimulating herself throughout. He did give her personal attention, of course, yet she seemed more interested in observing him with others. Considering what he was getting paid to perform, he didn’t mind the voyeuristic alicorn’s presence - hell, he’d even invited her to join him on several occasions.

For many, many decades, aided by the rejuvenative effects of pony magic and zebra alchemy, Anon cheerfully delighted the aristocracy of his new homeland. By the end of his days, he’d bedded dozens of every sapient species in Equestria, including a few which had only recently been discovered. Having slung leg well past the normal retirement age for a human, pleased with his accomplishments, he eventually settled down with an absolutely gorgeous young alicorn.

He and his wife purchased a modest mansion in the Crystal Empire, away from the glitz and glamor of the public. While he did slow down a little, he always maintained enough energy to satisfy his spouse in every conceivable way. It was there that he lived the rest of his preternaturally long and healthy life with his lover, Princess Flurry Heart…

All or Nothing

Left to choose which, if any lover he would take, Anon locked himself away in his room. Who would he pick - how could he make such a decision? Each and every student, including Cozy, had strong selling points and, more importantly, he didn’t want to hurt any of them. He considered them all friends and wished to see them all happy - nor did leaving the sadomasochistic pegasus to live an eternity as a statue rest easily with him.

Ocellus was demure and kindhearted. Smolder was tomboyish and impulsive. Silverstream was cheerful and lighthearted. Yona was strong-willed and decisive. Cozy was maniacal and brilliant. Gallus was down to earth and snarky. The man had no doubt that each would make for an endearing romantic partner, which made his selection even more difficult.

Throughout a day and a night, foregoing any sleep and barely eating anything, Anon stewed on his predicament. Weary and hungry, he wandered towards the cafeteria to get some coffee. Selection or not, he had work to do and he desperately needed caffeine. Shambling past a buffet of breakfast foods, he looked over at the vittles. Eyeing each intently, he wondered which was more appealing; that’s when the final piece clicked into place.

Why did he have to pick any of them, when he could choose all of them. Rushing off to Twilight’s office, he readied himself to inform the Headmare of his decision. There hadn’t been anything in the contract about him selecting several of the candidates, which was just what he planned to do.

Bursting into the Princess’ office, catching the alicorn woefully off guard, Anon pleaded his case. Twilight nodded, listening intently to the man’s frantic choice and his logic behind it. To his surprise, she simply got up, trotted over, shook his hoof, and told him she’d summon the aspirants.

In less than half an hour, Twilight had gathered them all; hell, even Cozy was there, although she was accompanied by a pair of royal sentries. Each of the students seemed confused, speculating among themselves over who he had chosen. While they all seemed reluctantly cheerful and optimistic, there was the unmistakable tang of tension in the air.

Clearing his throat, Anon stepped amongst his suitors and looked to them each in turn. Freely mentioning the allure of each of them, one by one, he spoke highly of them all. It was only when he was concluded that he took a breath, threw open his arms, and offered himself up as a polyamorous lover.

The students paused, staring blankly up at the man. It was so damn quiet that you could hear a pin drop; not a single sound filled the room. Anon stood frozen, his gaze sweeping over his friends, as his anxiety gradually dialed up to an unimaginable level. He’d had no way of knowing how they’d take the news, so he was left to speculate on what they were thinking. Suddenly, without any warning whatsoever, they pounced on him.

Hugged from head to toe, Anon toppled to the floor. Under the writhing mass of a changeling, griffon, dragon, hippogriff, yak, and pegasus, he lay pinned. It took him a second to realize they hadn’t leapt on him in anger - no, quite the opposite. They were all smiling and laughing, pleased beyond measure that they’d all continue being a part of his life.

Twilight, apparently pleased with the man’s decision, did what she could to accommodate him and his harem. Procuring a townhouse for them all to share, within walking distance of the school, she ensured their things were all moved safely. Her lone stipulation was that she periodically get to observe their alone time with the human - for scientific purposes, of course. None of them minded, too pleased with the opportunity to live together.

Wasting no time, the collective of lovers moved into their new abode. It didn’t take long for confusion and discontent to settle in, though they sorted it out in short order. Each was allotted time with Anon, rotating in shifts, throughout the week. Surprisingly, the arrangement worked out swimmingly, evenly distributing the man amongst the crowd while ensuring their friendships remained intact.

As the month sailed by and the students graduated, the sextet took various jobs; Ocellus became a postal carrier, Smolder worked as a cartographer, Silverstream was employed as a guidance counselor, Yona was offered a position at Rarity’s shop, Gallus got inducted into the Royal Guard, and Cozy Glow shaped up to be the best professional dominatrix Equestria had ever seen! The only resident who took an additional romantic interest was Yona.

Shortly after starting work, the not-so-little yak began a second relationship with Sandbar. She’d apparently harbored feelings towards him for years, since their time together at the school, so she eventually seized the initiative. Following in the human’s footsteps, she saw no reason not to share herself between her bipedal lover and quadrupedal admirer.

Yes, things worked out smoothly for everycreature in the household. Anon’s paramours were flourishing and growing, his tenure at the academy was set, and the finances were more than stable. It was ironic; of all the residents of the home, the only one who didn’t seem to change was the human.

He’d accomplished what mere mortals dreamt of, lording over a small harem of diverse and wonderfully colorful creatures. Like the protagonist of a poorly written and remarkably low-brow isekai, he’d done what few, if any, ever could. His heterosexuality had suffered, he’d developed a number of kinks, and done the do with a startling array of sapient quadrupeds, yet he couldn’t be happier. Though he suffered through many, many misadventures through the years, those are stories for another time...