It wasn’t the pain that bothered Princess Luna, she had long ago acclimated to the shriek of rent flesh. The cry of nerves was an annoyance, nothing more. The way her shattered bone protruded from split meat just below the curve of her joint and the hanging mass of what used to be the leg below, suspended by phlegm-colored ligaments, however, poked heated nails into her mind and sickened her stomach. To see her form distorted, broken, weighed heavily upon her sanity.
It used to be part of her… that dangling, mangled hunk of muscle, coat, and skin, it was a PART of her. Her body quaked as her mind attempted to ameliorate the sight but the horror was undisputed. Her eyes locked onto the stump and her empty stomach wretched, expelling a running stream of acid down her chin as it sprayed against the muzzle trapping her mouth closed.
“My dear sister, you look to be in dismay. Do you not deserve this torment for the betrayal, not only of country, but of family?” the cruel mockery of her sister asked. Daybreaker grinned, feasting on the anguish of the one she called sister in jest and mimicry.
Luna turned shallow, clouded eyes to the mistress of her torment. The spiked muzzle restraint silenced her, but it didn’t matter as she had no answer to give. Did she deserve to suffer for her failed coup? There was shame in the answer, unending shame.
Luna’s ego had run rampant and led her down the path that brought her to clash for power with her only family. Chin drooping, Luna couldn’t bear to meet the fiery gaze of the Daybreaker.
Daybreaker laughed loudly, reaching out and plucking the swinging remains of Luna’s damaged leg as easily as pulling a ripe blackberry from the bush. Luna whimpered and Daybreaker inspected the ruined appendage before tossing it aside. “Trash. Just like the rest of you, sister.”
Blood spouted from Luna’s maimed stump in time with her beating heart. In some way, she was excited by the prospect of bleeding to death and each crimson splash of liquid brought the end of her torment another moment closer. But, did she really deserve this? Hadn’t her exile to the moon been enough? It had broken her confidence, extinguished the fire to rule, the need to be seen and adored.
As if reading her thought, Daybreaker’s eyes flickered maliciously with dubious horrors. “Fire? Is that what you thought, dear sister? You miss your old burning desires? And just when I thought you may finally have been worthy of respite.” There was joy in Daybreaker’s grin: true, pleasurable, sick. “I guess you haven’t learned yet. I’ll give you all the fire you desire.”
The room was dark and wreathed with torture instruments that hid in the shadows like peeping toms but they all bloomed with yellow and orange light as Daybreaker conjured a searing flame so hot that Luna worried the air itself may ignite. She screamed, the spikes of the muzzle digging into her flesh, tearing jagged holes clean through her nostrils to pierce the roof of her mouth. The intense heat enveloped her, razing her body to ashes from the hooves up. The pain meant nothing, she was used to it, but her body becoming less than dust marred her hemorrhaging mind.
Princess Luna watched as the intense heat blasted the hair from her coat, blistered her flesh, and left naught but black, charred hunks of ruined meat. It crept closer to her head, the acrid, disgusting smell of her own body’s smoke clogged her nostrils as the flames took more and more of the mare. Her sight began to fade as the incredible heat boiled her eyes in their sockets and she screamed until her tongue was reduced to blazing ash.
Snapping up, restraints twisted her coat and dug into the tight muscles. The scorching heat, she realized, was nothing more than a figment of her strained consciousness as she found herself knotted in the lazuli sheets of her royal bed. Sweat clung to her, bathing her in a salty stench that clambered into her nostrils and stung her delicate senses. It had been a dream, of course it had. How many similar nightmares had haunted her resting hours, debilitating them and leaving her restless and exhausted the following evening? Too many to count… too many to…
“Sister, I am glad to see you have arisen. It was growing rather late and I came to rouse you but found you churning like the sea during a storm.” Celestia said from across the broad room, the fading sun casting her in a hellish wreath of rouge, crimson, and deep, glowing gold. “I feared waking you in such a state.”
“Celestia?” Luna asked, still separating the vicious gaze of sadistic glee of the Daybreaker and the worried, caring visage of the sister she had once betrayed.
“It was me again, wasn’t it?” Celestia asked, her words etched in pain and sympathy. “The nightmare, again?”
Luna rested her damp forehead against an upturned hoof and sighed softly ,begging the angry beehive in her head to calm. “It was.” The defeat in her voice was palpable even to her own ears and she wanted to curl up, hide beneath her blankets, and cry. Yet, as a noble, she had duties to fulfill and was not afforded such luxuries.
Drawing close, Celestia wrapped her sister in a warm embrace. “I love you, Luna. You know I harbor no malice for you.” The body heat felt nice against her and she wanted to sink into the embrace but the image of Daybreaker flashed behind her clenched eyelids and Luna recoiled.
“I know. It’s my problem, sister. I must learn to forgive myself, I believe.” Luna yearned to press against Celestia but looked away.
You are not worthy of her love. Nor are you worthy of the love of your kind. They should stone traitors like you in Canterlot square.
Nodding softly, Celestia smiled meekly. “Your glorious night is soon to come. Take solace in knowing that we are a pair, my sister. My bright days are nothing without your wondrous nights. And, similarly, I am nothing without you.”
“Thank you, Celestia. Sometimes the nights are lonely while all of Equestria sleeps but it is my honor to serve in the twilight and protect the dreams of our citizens. Though, I wish my own sleep could be unburdened.”
Celestia smiled gently, her multicolored mane wafting gently though no wind broached the terrace of Luna’s quarters. “If only I had your gift to traverse the sleeping mind, Luna.”
Luna rose, willing the moon, a sharp, blue crescent this night, to begin its heavenly ascent. Celestia watched quietly from behind. Luna could feel her presence and selfishly wished to be alone. As if on cue, Celestia made her good nights and exited the room.
The moon battled for dominance in the sky with the sun and Luna cast her eyes to the stone castle floor. Guilt was not easily conquered and the daily ritual of the setting sun and rising moon reminded her of the battle so long ago. How could it not? A millennium on the moon was a very long time to study one’s faults. Luna had dissected her lust, greed, and willingness to harm even those she loved.
And she hated herself.
Stepping out onto the terrace, Luna admired the purple and cobalt shades of what was the beginning of her day. It was one beautiful thing she could still give her subjects, those who still bred distrust for her. Would she ever be able to earn their trust once more?
She knew the answer.
Peering from the edge, Luna noted the distance to the ground below.
Just jump. Get it over with.
No!
It’s what you were thinking.
It wasn’t!
It would end your suffering. Celestia and the rest of Equestria would probably mark it as a holiday. The end of Nightmare Moon.
Sister loves me. Our subjects love me.
But do you love you?
Biting her lip, Luna stepped away from the edge and went to clean up. The foul feeling of sweat still steeped her lustrous coat and she, a princess, couldn’t allow herself to be seen by her subjects in such a disheveled state. Perhaps the warm waters, the froth of the soap, and the gentle purge of impurities would mitigate the lingering, heavy weight the dream laid upon her.
Passing by motionless guardsmen, Luna made her way to the royal bath. It was a wide room of ornate sculpture carved into the pillars and walls. Like most of the castle, it was done in gold, white marble, and pure alabaster. All things reflected the colors of the princess of the sun, it seemed. In the center of the room was a deep recession large enough for several alicorns though the practice of bathing together was long since lost to antiquity.
She found the bath waiting, servants nowhere in sight but tending to their duties as devoted to the Mistress of night to that of their ruler, Celestia. And yet, Luna could not help but wonder when the last time she had seen them. It was not surprising to be alone in the bathing pool room, but the incident lended itself to all functions the dark princess managed throughout the night: her meals were always waiting, garments always pressed, and any need she had already taken care of by unseen hooves. If not for the soldiery, who were like statues in their positions around the castle, Luna would believe she was alone during the time that darkness reigned.
Celestia takes care of you. She orders the servants to fulfill your daily needs but they hate you in the shadows. Afraid of the treachery you once wrought. The soldiers as well. Their eyes follow you not out of duty to you but to fulfill their oath to Celestia. Not a single move goes unnoticed. They await the day they will stick those deadly spears into you.
Dunking her head into the heavily bubbled water, the mother of night held her breath. The sound of water filled her ears, distorting each sound she made, but unable to silence the thoughts within.
No use hiding… they know where you are. Or are you hiding from guilt? Also impossible. It will suck on you like a leech until your dying day. The weaker it makes you, the stronger it gets.
How long had the nightmares been coming? They recurred, certainly, and she had found sleep difficult to attain and maintain on many nights. Once a week? Twice a week? Three times? It was an arduous task to say. Once shaken awake from the fitful images, Luna had difficulty recalling exactly what they had been about. Though the weighted feeling of black guilt ceaselessly pulled her to the bottom of her own lake of sorrow and regret.
All she could recall was pain.
And the Daybreaker.
She could hold her breath for a long time and under the shallow currents of the bathing pool, Luna imagined a peaceful time, where her thoughts didn’t look inward in judgment. But was there ever such a time? In the warm, watery womb, she could not ascertain a moment of peace with her sister.
Jealousy filled her in the pre-Moon era and guilt in the post. Was this the curse she bore as the unsuccessful deposer of the sun? Or would her empire of never-ending-night have been wracked with the chains of sororicide?
So filled with envy was she at the pique of her coup, Nightmare Moon would not have suffered Celestia to live. Luna could remember wanting to see the broken, bloody body of her sister brought benignly before her. No longer the light of ponies. No longer the heir to the throne. No longer absorbing all of the love of their subjects and leaving Luna to those few retainers seeking the night’s favor.
There used to be far more than there is now. Now they fear you.
She had been Nightmare Moon once. She was her envy personified, given form, given reign over reckless resentment. She wondered about her former followers. What had become of them? Were they reabsorbed into the pony mass or were they cast out? Exiled? Murdered for their backing a monster?
How many dark colored coats do you see, Luna? Where are the ponies who bathed in cold moonlight as opposed to the burning sun? Would you have allowed a legion of the unfaithful to live in your realm?
The thought hurt her like a stake through the heart. She had not yet swelled the courage enough to ask of her followers' fates. Where were her Black Coats, her Velvet Knights, her Shadow Bolts?
Dead. Whether executed by Celestia or by the brutal march of time, they are all dead. You are a relic of a time, not passed, but never happened. A monarch of the dead left to wither away unloved and alone.
Luna’s lungs burned from need of air but she held herself below the flickering, mirror-like surface of the water.
Breathe in the water. Join your true brethren, Nightmare Moon. You failure. Or continue to parade yourself as the sovereign of shame. At least in choosing to drown yourself you manage to regain some honor.
It was dark beneath the water and the rims of her vision began to darken further. An abyssal haze reaching towards the center, quietly beckoning Luna away to a new … life? It was quiet in the edges of oblivion encroaching upon this world, this painful life. It was pitch black and forgiving. It was peace.
Sputtering, Luna crashed through the surface and gasped cool night air into her seething lungs, extinguishing the flames licking at her respirating organs.
Forever in suffering it is, I suppose. You can’t even kill yourself.
Nopony checked on her despite the raucous splashing and gasping. Nopony cared about the ruler of the cobalt curtain.
Taking her head in her forelegs, Luna wept silently into the pool. She wished she were back on the moon. There she was alone with her hateful thoughts. Not another living thing for hundreds of thousands of miles. Here, back home, she was alone with thousands of other lives occurring in tandem with her own.
Everypony hates you.
“Everypony hates me…” she whispered to herself. She knew the veracity of the statement all too well and felt small despite her large size. Shrouding herself in her wings, Luna cried until the water turned cold.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Her meal was hot beneath the cloche and she watched the steam waft from the vegetables. She could appreciate the skill involved in preparing the plate of high-quality vegetation but knew there was no love in it. The unseen chef of this meal might as well have been a ghost. The smell was appetizing but it turned her stomach and she only nibbled enough to satiate the need to eat before returning to her duties.
She wandered the Canterlot castle halls in solemn solitude. The only clack of hooves on marble her own. She came upon the throne room and looked inside. The throne of the sun stood at the end of the rouge carpet on a raised dais. All around were sculptures and stained glass monologues to the sun in intricate decor. This was, after all, a shrine to Celestia.
Back and to the side was the slightly smaller throne of the moon. How often did she even entertain to sit upon the worthless, vestigial chair? Only when her presence was required. And how often did she matter in court? Only for celebrations and other trivialities of state. Never when actual decisions were made.
Stepping to the throne of the sun, Luna gazed upon it and felt the niggling lust in the back of her mind. Even now she wanted to be loved as much as her sister. Even now, Nightmare Moon stirred somewhere in the deepest pit of her traitorous heart. She must have stared for too long because one of the two guards at the door cleared their throat accusingly, causing the moonlight princess to blush slightly and exit.
You’ll never be completely free, Luna. Between the desires of the Nightmare and the pouring, analyzing eyes of the guards, you will never be allowed to accumulate power or followers again… not that YOU could anyway. Nopony wants such a shallow, broken mare as a leader. Only Celestia allows you to be a figurehead. No true government power, only to serve as a symbol of her own forgiveness and mercy.
“A symbol of… of treachery. Of power broken to the will of the sun.”
Returning to her quarters, Luna stood once more upon the balcony. She felt small, insignificant, worthless. Even so, she had duties, no matter how small they were to the security of her sister’s domain. She could still visit her citizenry in their dreams and grant them what she could not grant herself.
From one dream to another Luna leapt. Bringing soft, pillowy happiness that made her subjects smile or quelling nightmare born insecurities from the shadowy depths of their minds, Luna found some satisfaction in her existence. She rarely showed herself, hiding in the fuzzy backgrounds where their consciousness’ could not focus.
She watched longingly as a shade as ponies met their true loves, played with their friends, and had picnics by gentle rivers. She wondered if it would have been the same had she been victorious. Would she still visit her loyal subject or would Nightmare Moon rule with fear?
Doesn’t matter. That time is passed. Never to be.
Is that a fact?
Luna shrugged the thought away and focused on her work. Into the depths of the night she manipulated the dreamscapes of ponies, giving them pleasantries for she did love them despite the stigma surrounding her.
As the night passed, Luna’s meditation into the tapestry of dreams sapped her energy. Having slept poorly, she was already partially consumed of stamina before she had begun and now, at what would be her lunchtime, she returned to her body and felt heavy as if she had been swimming for hours. Her stomach was silent and she had no appetite as she turned away from the terrace.
Laboredly she sprawled unceremoniously onto her bed. Her bed clothes had been replaced while she attended to the dreams of her people and she idly wondered who had been in her room. She would have liked to have spoken with them, even for a moment. It didn’t matter, she needed a short nap. Sleep came quickly and unassuredly easily.
The vicious scrape of metal on metal tore through her bedroom and suddenly stopped with a loud, wet thunk. A crowd of hundreds cheered and Luna fought to get her bearings. Her bed was gone; thick, circulation cutting manacles of steel bound her front and back hooves together in twos, hobbling the princess so that she could not canter or trot but only take short, labored steps. She faced a barred window and the blazing sun poured through it, forming long, hot, and bright claws reaching for her in the darkness of her towered cell.
She could smell manure and realized there were no luxuries in this cramped, dull, single room. Only a pile of thin, worn straw and a soiled bucket. She gagged at the odor and hobbled to the steel reinforced stone window, peering out to a wide crowd of ponies.
“My loyal subjects, we shall be united once more when this glorious day has ended!” the sizzling form of Daybreaker sitting upon a mobile throne of radiant gold called to the masses, flanked on both sides by burly, imposing solar guards in shimmering golden armor. “Another, jailer! Lead another traitor to their fate!”
Luna gasped in terror as she observed a wooden stage mounted with a guillotine looming at its center. The ancient beheading device was being raised by a stallion dressed in pure white, a similar hood concealing his identity. Another pair of guards dragged a headless pony from the instrument of death. A long, gory trail of viscous red liquid belched from the stump of his neck.
The stallion’s coat was dark, atypical of the sun-loving ponies who dwelled within the rays of the solar body. This, Luna recognized, was one of her followers. His cutie mark bore a small brand above it that identified him as one of the Shadow Bolts. She only then realized his wings were barren of feathers and dragged like two dry tongues on either side of his blood-churning body.
Most horrifying was how his decapitated head lay to one side of the platform. It was rapidly draining of color as what blood had been inside pooled and mixed with the torrent or red liquid at the front of the stage. Motionless, except for the eye facing up. It rolled to peer directly up, accusingly, at Luna. The mouth worked silently, whatever it was trying to say drowned by the crowd and the lack of lungs. The executioner drew near and kicked it from the stage, rolling to rest in one of many large piles of heads. Each a darker hue than that of their sun-loving brethren.
They were executing her followers. One after another. And the solar ponies cheered.
“Now, my loving subjects, we have the captain of the Black Coats! Nightmare Moon’s personal honor guard and protectors! Bring him out, jailer!” Daybreaker bellowed and the crowd booed and jeered as a strong, muscled stallion was led to stand before the cruel execution tool.
Luna had not forgotten her subjects. She recalled his name, Pivot Point. He was a disastrous and agile warrior. One who had fought valiantly to keep her safe when the end beckoned. She thought he had been killed but a long, rust-stained bandage on his side explained that he had been wounded and captured.
“Pivot Point. I am not unforgiving. Your service to my vile sister was widely renowned. I may be persuaded to let you live if you renounce your oath to Nightmare Moon and swear fealty to me.” Daybreaker grinned, her dark-rimmed eyes widening and lifting in pleasure. She was enjoying this, Luna realized.
Pivot Point turned and looked at the crowd who had grown quiet. His deep purple coat and azure mane bristled with hostility in seeing the amusement on the faces of the ponies gathered to see he and his brethren’s honorless demise. He paused and cast his eyes up to the tower, locking his gleaming green orbs with Luna. He plainly saw her and nodded slightly.
“I am growing tired of waiting, Black Coat. I will have your answer directly or I will never have it. Now, answer your ruler!” Daybreaker demanded.
“Celestia, were it our kinds could have made amends long before this day,” Pivot Point began. “For too long have I fought the blood of my blood, my brothers and sisters. I have done things for my beliefs, my duty, that I regret having done.” He faced the glowing princess and scowled. “But not serving the true ruler of Equestria, Princess Luna, the Mother of the Night!” he stood resilient and glowered into the fidgeting, angry tyrant.
“For last words, the stupidity of what you have chosen has earned you a special death, captain,” Daybreaker fumed, her mane of flame igniting and turning white with rage. “Jailers! Castrate him before lopping his impudent head off!”
Luna watched in horror as several stallions wrestled her captain, her most supportive soldier and friend, to the stocks. He was placed face up, his back to the ground and the stocks brought down around his neck to hold him in place.
The executioner produced a long, curved, and glinting blade. Luna could scarcely watch as the blade took from the stallion his private parts. Though stalwart and strong, Pivot howled through gritted teeth. Luna felt sick and hacked several gut-twisting dry-heaves. Her heart sank in the mire that was her sorrow and cracked in half as the ruined genitals were held aloft by the executioner and the crowd exploded into raucous cheers and laughter.
“I expected something more impressive from a captain of the Black Coats,” Daybreaker joked with malice, “I suppose I should have assumed as much from the weaker bloodline of ponies.”
Pivot gritted his teeth and snarled in pain and fury. He began to say something but the massive steel blade fell and silenced him forever. Luna collapsed into tears in her cell. Was this what had befell her people after banishment? Were these echoes of true events or just another horrid nightmare?
A quartet of guards burst into her chamber with ropes and a bridle. Luna growled, the sorrow of her heart replaced with an icy hatred. She would fight until her death these monsters masquerading as ponies. She called upon her magic, willing it to blast the soldiers into paste but her horn refused to accept the call. It was then she noticed her horn had been removed. Only a broken stump remained a couple inches from her forehead. A deep blue goop oozed from the remains as she attempted to cast.
She earned several wicked blows that rattled her consciousness. When she regained her senses, she was being led through the crowd. The brightly colored ponies spit on her, hocking thick, phlegmy piles of yellow mucus onto the dark blue of her coat. Something more consistent splattered against the side of her head and the odor filled her nostrils, forcing her to heave once more. They called her names, many awful names as she was led through them. A spiked bridle held her muzzle closed and forced her to follow her captors as the thorny steel spikes dug into her flesh and dribbled blood down to the dirt below.
She was led before the guillotine.
“Kneel, mule,” one of the jailers demanded but Luna refused, lifting her head as high as she could. As proud as she could muster.
“I said kneel!” Two of the soldiers aimed spears at her and still she refused, staring angrily at the Daybreaker who only licked her lips.
The spears bit into her haunches and she flinched but Luna was accustomed to pain and held her position, even when the blades of the wicked weapons slid deeper into the meat of her rump. Those who died for her had dyed the stage red with their blood. Had gone proudly into the never-ending-night for her and their cause. At the very least she could endure this pain for those who would no longer feel anything.
“Enough, jailers!” Daybreaker called. “She is still my sister regardless of her crimes and a princess of Equestria. If she does not wish to kneel before the true ruler, then she will not be forced.” The gleam in Daybreaker’s eyes was devious and playful; a combination to be feared.
“My dear sister, your little rebellion has failed. You’ve spent the entire day watching those ponies still loyal to you meet the blade of the executioner. Do you have any words to address the families of those fools who were yours?”
Luna stifled the tears in her eyes and the spiked bridle was unlocked from her muzzle for her to speak. She thought for a moment, the intense feeling of emptiness in her heart stymied her response but she finally looked upon the Daybreaker.
“Maybe, Celestia, I began this war for the wrong reasons. I wanted control, wanted power, wanted out of your shadow and Equestria as my own. But… seeing the monster you have become. I know I was right to challenge you!” Luna yelled, her eyes streaming with tears. “You are not my sister! You are a tyrant!”
The crowd began to retort, many shouts and items were hurled at the princess of the night. Daybreaker merely chuckled and waved to her subjects to calm down.
“A tyrant? I did not start this war, Nightmare Moon. You usurper! You amassed an army and tore our beloved Equestria in twain with your foolish, selfish goals. How does it feel? To stand in the midst of your decimated army? Look! Look at their heads! There’s 207 here with many more decorating similar execution sites all over Equestria. You failed them, condemned them to death! And why? To take my throne for yourself.”
Luna drooped her head and nodded silently, tears spilling to the rough wooden planks below her. “I failed them, Celestia. But you slaughtered them. Why? They didn’t deserve this! They fought for what they believed in! They were sons and daughters of Equestria! They loved this country and wanted it to be better!”
“And they chose to follow a weak, pathetic fool like you. My Equestria does not need the likes of them.” Daybreaker spoke without remorse. She giggled lightly and traced one bloody hoof across the reflective metal of her throne. “In fact, even now, their wives, husbands, sons, and daughters are being rounded up. Over the next few weeks they will find a new home in mass graves. Where their bodies will be left to rot, we will plant massive farms so that they may yet prove useful to their country since much of our agriculture was destroyed during your war.”
“No! They are innocent, you beast!” Shouted Luna.
“A beast? I rather like that title.”
“Worse than a beast, Celestia. You are a bloodthirsty mongrel.” Luna earned a slash from a spear across her cheek for the remark and bit her tongue instead of crying out.
“Hold, soldier. Do not harm her further. My sister, insults aside, I will allow you the chance to kneel before me. If you do so, perhaps I will spare your worthless life.” The roaring flames of Daybreaker’s dancing mane flickered in orange and red.
“Never!” Luna cried.
“So be it. I was never going to allow you to live anyway. But, I was going to reward you with the guillotine’s quick end. Instead, much to my delight, we get to use a different means of execution for the leader of traitors.” Daybreaker beckoned and the guillotine toppled over, crashing into the crowd of decapitated heads, scattering them into the audience like onions.
From seemingly nowhere shackles were snapped onto each of her legs just behind the hoof. Long, thick chains pulled high into the air, lifting her body up into the air. Her legs squawked in pain and she gritted her teeth, daring not to give the sneering Daybreaker satisfaction. Before long, Luna was carried several meters above the stage. Her forelegs were pulled in different angles by small fleets of pegasi. Her lower extremities were locked into place by great cranks affixed to rotating shafts. It dawned on her what was happening: they were going to rip her into pieces.
“No last minute words of wisdom, Nightmare Moon?” asked Daybreaker, the evil in her features twisting her crooked grin into a sadistic, devilish mask.
“I’m… I’m not Nightmare Moon! I’m princess…. Princess Lu,” Luna began but the words were stolen by a scream of torment as the cranks tugged at her lower body and the pegasi squads darted with their chains. Luna’s body absorbed the initial shock though her ligaments tore and three of her legs extended unnaturally as the bones pulled apart. She regretted her shrieks of agony and the satisfaction it gave Daybreaker but there was nothing she could do to reign them in.
Another massive tug and one of the chains fell free to the bellowing crowd below, a whole rear leg and massive hunk of torn flesh up to Luna’s rib fell to the ground. Her intestines fell like loose rope, showering the ponies below with blood and gore. They wrestled one another to collect pieces of the detritus.
“Beautiful, sister. Simply beautiful! How I wish I could relive this moment forever!” Daybreaker called to Luna’s flailing remains.
The princess of the night felt woozy, pain seared through her body and she could scarcely hold her consciousness together. Another powerful yank of the chains brought chanting and hollering from the crowd below.
One of her forelegs was missing, the pectoral muscle attached to it had ripped apart mid-chest. Her thrumming heart flowed blood in a long, grisly stream down to the ground below, a single stripe of her life liquid fell across Daybreaker. The tyrant’s tongue rolled from her mouth to taste it.
Her whole body screamed, burned, and yearned for the embrace of death. Luna felt another yank and felt herself falling. She closed her eyes and awaited the impact to earth. It was coming…
The black void opened for Luna and she reached with her limbless trunk for the darkness.
*** *** ***
For the second time in one night, Luna sprang from her bed drenched in sweat. She fought to control her breathing and fell onto the marble floor, tears flowing like pitchers of wine.
Was that what happened to my people?
Yes. Of course it was. Where else would they have gone?
There were hooves in the hallway, loud, sharp. Celestia appeared at the door, a flowing white sleepwear robe wrapped around her body. Her mane of many pastel colors flowed behind her. There was fear in her features, Luna saw.
“Leave me, sister. Your face does me no good at the moment. Please…” begged Luna.
Celestia, not acknowledging the plea, rushed to Luna’s side and kneeled to press against her. “It’s okay, Luna. Calm down. Another dream? Of… me?” she asked gingerly.
“Yes! Please, sister, your touch hurts me. Please allow me a moment to gather my wits!” Celestia pulled away, taking several steps back, her eyes gaunt and harrowed by the crying, mewling form of Luna.
For many moments, Luna struggled to regain her composure. The deepest part of the night found the two of them, trapped in the space of the room with the void pressing in from outside the corners. Finally, Luna lifted her head and wiped her wretched eyes. She gasped with an open mouth and sniffled without dignity. She was distraught, broken.
“Luna… is there anything I can do to ease your suffering?” Celestia asked softly.
“No… it’s my problem, sister. It’s my problem and I have to deal with it.”
“Perhaps a psychiatrist? I’ll bring the very best in all of Equestria if that is your desire.”
“No! I’m okay now. I’m okay.” Luna didn’t want a doctor to probe her mind, to see that she still bore resentment towards her sister despite her attempts to let it go. They would see… they would see that only shame and fear kept the destructive envy at bay. This was her life. Penitent, ashamed, embarrassed, afraid… broken. Luna was broken deliberately to keep the embers of Nightmare Moon dead.
I’ll never be truly dead, my dear. You know that.
I’m weak. I’ll never become you again.
One day you will succumb to the hate inside. Celestia hates you. SHE has done this to you! She keeps us weak! We are nothing but a symbol for her to parade before her subjects!
NO! Sister loves me!
She murdered all of your real friends! All of our kind! That angelic face hides a demon within it!
“Celestia… what happened to my followers after… after I lost,” Luna asked, not recognizing her own voice.
“Well, many of them… many of them,” Celestia stammered, recoiling from Luna.
She killed them!
“Many of them, what?” demanded Luna in Nightmare Moon’s voice.
I’M NOT DEAD, LUNA! LET ME OUT! WE CAN END THE WAR HERE! FOR THE SOULS OF THE ONES WE LOST! LET! ME! OUT!
Luna was crying again, she felt smaller than she ever had before. There was nothing left of her. She was cracked, her mind was wracked in guilt and fear.
“They were repatriated. Forgiven, like you, of your… your crimes, my dear sister.”
LIAR!
“No, you killed them. You executed them, didn’t you, Sun whore? You KILLED my people!” Luna snarled, turning to face the white alicorn.
“Luna, please, dear sister…” Celestia whispered.
“NO! NO!” Luna staggered back, turning to look at the black night outside. She could just make out the balcony and ran for it.
What are you doing?
I won’t let you hurt my sister! This is your fault! Everything is your fault! I was fine being a nothing before you started whispering things in my ear!”
Luna hurdled onto the balcony. She tightened her wings around her, refusing to open them.
“Luna! No! Stop!” Celestia called out after her.
Over the edge of the railing Luna leapt, closing her eyes as the wind cut like razors at them. She didn’t brace for impact, wanting to find an end to the suffering, the shame. She didn’t want to live as a failed traitor any longer. She didn’t want to fight to keep the voice of Nightmare Moon in check any longer.
We could be the ruler, you fool! Open your wings!
NEVER! WE DIE TOGETHER, NIGHTMARE MOON!
She didn’t feel the impact but heard her bones shatter. Heard the wet thwump of her meat tearing and splattering like hamburger meat across the stones.
And then she woke up once more. Her chest hurt, leading through her extremities with pulses of pain as her heart clenched and unclenched rhythmically. She gasped and looked around her room, tears spilling from her eyes.
Light rolled through her wispy draperies and touched all in the room. There was no hiding from it. It was morning and something stood on the balcony. The alicorn shape was blanketed in morning light.
“Sister… is… is that you?” Luna asked, her voice weak and frail.
“Of course it is, Luna. Who else sees you these days?” Celestia spoke harshly.
“I’m sorry, dear sister. Another nightmare,” she feebly answered.
“I know. Nightmare Moon, am I right?” Celestia, robed in the morning light was a dark shape, her features blackened like wood in a fire.
“Y-yes, but how did you know?” Luna knew the answer already.
“I knew she still dwelled within you, Luna. I’ve always known I couldn’t trust you. Not even when you were afraid and broken.”
“How? Please, I’m not… not Nightmare Moon any longer.”
“I said I did not have the power to visit dreams. That was a lie, sister. I simply choose not to use it most of the time. However, sometimes one must ensure the safety of Equestria. And I’ve seen even at your lowest there are seeds of jealousy. If they were to grow, it would be a problem. That’s why I’ve cultivated your confidence and fear to smother them.” The black form turned to face Luna.
“You? You are the cause of these … these nightmares? Why, sister?” Luna pleaded.
“Because, my treacherous sister, I am no fool. I didn’t know what you may have been up to on the moon. So, I brought you here. Not as forgiveness but further punishment.”
Luna didn’t know how to respond. All of her fears were coming true. And yet she didn’t know if it was a dream or reality.
“A wise ruler once said, ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ I plan on keeping you close, Luna. Very close. Forever.” The rising sun caught Celestia’s mane, blooming it into a roaring inferno. Dark eyes peered from the black figure in the center of the rousing flames.
Author's Note
Okay. Not sure what to say about this one. It's more of an exercise than a full, cohesive story. It's confusing by design because we, like Luna, don't know what is real and what is a dream.
Wanted to write something and had a difficult time coming up with something. I did, however, know I wanted to write about Luna for my friend The Dobermans. He's been one of the few people I talk to regularly on here and is always super supportive and talented. I doubt this is as good as any of his Luna stories but, hey, I tried.
This story is about depression and self-hatred. Those little voices in the backs of our minds and what happens when we finally give in.
I hope you guys like it. Thanks for the read.
