First Hoof Account

by TCC56

42 - And Last

Previous Chapter

"She's beautiful."

Cadance looked up from where she was playing with her daughter in one of the many spare rooms of Canterlot Castle. Standing in the doorway was... well, she saw but couldn't completely accept it. Amber coat. Red-gold mane that shone like fire. A smirk that dared the world to bring its worst because she knew with total confidence that she'd win.

The mirage that could only be Sunset Shimmer leaned against the doorframe in a decidedly bipedal and not-pony way. "Seriously. The Sparkles have some amazing genes. You did good with your rebound, I'd say."

There was no response - only a shocked stare. And as the silent staring dragged on, Sunset's cocksure smile faded to nervousness and then to fear. "C--Caddy? Talk to me?" Another moment of silence. "Cadance, I--"

She got no further. Cadance didn't respond with words but with a tackle - leaping across the distance with the help of mighty wings so she could knock the unicorn to the floor. Joyful sobs shook the Crystal Princess as she held the Prodigal Student in a life-crushing hug. "YOU STUPID... stupid..." She hiccuped. "I should hate you."

"You should," Sunset confirmed as she buried her face in Cadance's candy-colored mane. "You should hate me and yell at me and probably hit me a couple of times." She swallowed a laugh, throat scratching. "I did so many things so wrong. I know it doesn't even start at being enough and I don't deserve forgiveness but I'm sorry, Cadance. I'm so sorry for everything."

"It's okay." Cadance didn't hesitate with the words, even though it made both mares sob and laugh with relief in each other's embrace. "I could never ever ever stay mad at you. Sunset, I-- we thought you might be dead! I mean, we hoped but until you took Twilight's crown we had no idea what happened to you, and then we didn't know what would happen when she confronted you..." Cadance clapped her hooves over her mouth. "Oh, um, sorry, I shouldn't--"

Sunset pulled those hooves away. "It's alright. I've come to terms with just how much of a jerk I was back then." A wry smile came to her lips. "I'm trying to be better and so far I'm at least fifty-fifty at succeeding."

Cadance gave her ex the tightest squeeze she could. "And I know you are! Oh, the stories I've been hearing from Twilight! It sounds like you're finally coming into your own and finding out who you are."

"Of course Twilight's been telling you about me." Sunset rolled her eyes - fondly, but still exasperated at her friend. Then she drooped down once more. "You know more than anypony how much damage I did along the way - to myself and to those around me." She sighed heavily. "That's really why I took so long to come back to you, Cadance. I just... It took me forever to face Princess Celestia again, and even then I only did it because of a magic crisis that I desperately needed her help with."

A smirk crept to Cadance's face. "So you're saying I could have seen you sooner if I stole your memories or trapped you inside a magical void?"

They broke apart with a shove. Sunset still laughed. "Dolt." Pacing away, Sunset put some distance between the two of them and set her gaze on a blank wall. "Look, Cadance... Twilight, I only took her crown. She was easy to apologize to once I realized how wrong I was. Princess Celestia, she was harder. I threw everything she taught me back in her face and never appreciated all the things she did for me. But you?" She shook her head, eyes pinching shut. "What I did to you is just... it's unforgivable. And maybe you will! But the fact is that I broke your heart, Cadance. I used you for my own gain by tricking you into thinking we were in love--"

"We were in love," Cadance stated with the same confidence as she'd observe that grass was green.

That derailed Sunset for a moment. Then she redoubled her attack. "Cadance, I was faking it! I was just trying to manipulate you into--"

And she was cut off as Cadance forcibly turned her back around. "You weren't faking it. Sunset, I'm the Princess of Love. Do you honestly think I couldn't tell when somepony loved me?"

Sunset rolled her head, trying to shake Cadance off. "You were young and barely a princess then. I must have fooled--"

Cadance fixed Sunset with a motherly glare, stopping the words again. "You loved. And I knew. It wouldn't have hurt so much if you hadn't."

Several more seconds of silence passed. "No, I--"

"You offered to share the throne with me, Sunset," Cadance pointed out. "Were you lying about that?" Her response was a shake of Sunset's head. "Would you have shared it with anypony else?"

Sunset thought about that for a tenth of a second. "Maybe Princess Celestia? Grudgingly?" She grimaced. "But, I mean, if I didn't have to--"

And Cadance silenced her again. "I think," she concluded with a smile, "That anypony you're willing to change your world domination plans for is one you care about pretty deeply.'

The sheer ridiculousness of the statement made Sunset break out laughing - which transitioned quickly into tears as what she'd had and given up finally, finally hit her.

Cadance held Sunset tight, letting the unicorn cry on her just as Celestia had cried after Sunset left. "I always loved you and you always loved me. It's just that in that one moment, you loved yourself more."

Through the tears, Sunset laughed again - a wet, snuffly one. "When did you get to be so wise?"

"It comes with either being an alicorn or a mother. I'm not sure which." Cadance winked, just a bit playful.

Which made Sunset laugh and cry all the more.

Holding her close, Cadance waited until the snuffling tapered off before continuing. "Now it really isn't necessary after everything you've done, but I hope hearing this will help you. I forgive you, Sunset. For all of it."

That brought out more tears and a shuddering exhale as something inside Sunset broke. Not violently - but the weight she'd held in her heart crumbled. A little piece inside her that had staunchly held against the years of redemption and good deeds finally gave way as the last pony in her life she needed to apologize to not only accepted her apology but made clear that the penance had never truly been needed.

Cadance's ear twitched as something in the air changed. An imperceptible, subtle thing about the world shifted half an inch to the side and tilted the balance. But she ignored it for now and continued her pardoning. "I forgive you and I'll keep forgiving you even if you make a mistake in the future because you are a good pony. You always were. This Sunset Shimmer was always inside of you and she's amazing." She kissed the top of Sunset's head. "My only regret - and I know it's one of Auntie's, too - is that I wasn't the right pony to help you become who you are."

"I wish you were," Sunset blubbered, barely holding herself stable.

Cadance didn't care. She kept hugging. "I'm glad Twilight was able to point you in the right direction. And I'm incredibly proud of who you've become."

Sunset laughed again, slowly pulling her emotions back together. "Careful," she joked with a playful nudge, "Keep that up and I might think you're trying to be more than a friend."

It was at that precise moment that Flurry Heart decided to re-assert her presence by throwing Whammy at Sunset - hitting her in the side of the head - and pointedly stating "Ba!"

Which made Cadance laugh, too. "I think my daughter doesn't like that and I suspect my husband would disapprove as well."

The pair finally drew apart, standing and finding an awkward space between them - both distant and close at the same time. The laughter faded to a chuckle - and a blush of embarrassment. "Yeah," Sunset admitted, "I, uh. I've got somebody special back home that might object, too."

Excitement lit up Cadance's face and a million questions leapt to her lips. But she held them back and restrained herself to a mere broad grin. "You'll have to introduce me some day."

The blush stayed. Sunset nodded. "Yeah. I, um. I'm pretty sure you'll like her."

"She loves you," Cadance said - not knowing but confident she was still right. "That's more than enough for me to like anypony." A pause. "Or anyone."

A few seconds of silence passed before Sunset pulled her courage together once more. "Look, I know we can't go back. Celestia and I agreed that you can't undo what's been done. But I... I wish it was different. That I wasn't so stupid. I--"

Before she could get any further, Cadance put a hoof over her mouth. "Hey. Watch it - no insulting somepony I care about."

Behind the hoof, Sunset smiled.

And Cadance drew it away. "You're right, though. We can't pretend it didn't happen or that we aren't different ponies than we were back then." Her smile was soft, gentle - and regretful. "I still love you, Sunset Shimmer. It's just a different kind of love."

"I'm glad I have that. I'll take it." Sunset pursed her lips tightly. "It's kind of ironic. I had everything I could have wanted, but I was too terrible of a pony to realize it. Now even though I'm a better pony and have so... so much everything? All I'm thinking about is what I've lost."

Cadance hugged her once more, ending a full seventy-five seconds apart. "There's nothing wrong with regrets. Just as long as looking back doesn't hurt your future."

"Easy for you to say." Sunset laughed bitterly as she said it. "I'm pretty sure--" And she stopped herself, laugh morphing into a frown. "No, that was dumb of me. Of course you have regrets. I know better than to even suggest that."

"I have them." Cadance's wry smile refused to give details. Yet. "And we'll talk about them. There's a lot for us to catch up on."

Sunset bashfully nodded. "There is."

The hug broke once more as Cadance pulled away properly. Her horn lit - it didn't have any visible effect, but even rusty as she was Sunset could make out the form of a communications casting. Probably sending a-- Sunset's mind hiccuped as it defaulted to calling it a text message. It was enough to throw her off and almost miss Cadance's question. "How long are you going to be staying, Sunset?"

The wayward student half-shrugged. "Originally I was planning to head back through the mirror as soon as the ceremony ended. But, uh. I think now I'd like to stay a day or two. Play it by ear."

Cadance beamed. "I think that I'd really like that, and there's several other ponies that would be happy to hear it too. At the very least with how many stories Twilight and I have told him, Shining's curious to put a face to the name."

"Yeah that won't be awkward at all," came Sunset's gloomy mutter. Which earned a hip-bump from Cadance.

"He'll like you! He's liked all the stories he's heard!"

"Does he know we dated?"

Cadance hesitated. "He knows, but I never went into a lot of details. He never asked."

Sunset considered that. "Huh. That's a little surprising. Most guys would at least be curious."

"Twilight's brother," Cadance pointed out. "He learned a long time ago not to ask questions he doesn't want hour long answers to."

They both shared a bit of a laugh before being interrupted by a knock on the door. Cadance opened it with her magic - and in trotted her Crystaller-slash-Court Wizard-slash-Vice Headstallion of the School of Friendship. Anything any of them would have said was overwhelmed by a pleased squeal, the sound of oversized wings flapping, and the impact of a foal against Sunburst's chest. (He managed to only get the breath mostly knocked out of him.)

The laughter now was from Sunburst. "Well hello Flurry! I saw you being a good girl at your auntie Twilight's coronation earlier!" His eyes flicked over to Cadance and her guest. "So as a reward for being so good, we can go play together while your mommy takes care of something."

Flurry burbled happily, squirming and climbing Sunburst's neck like a particularly dangerous and adorable spider. He gave a little wave to the two mares before backing out of the door, leaving them alone again.

The door clicked closed, and Sunset said it. "Y'know, Twilight thought he might be my brother. She tried to quiz me about my past and was very disappointed when I wouldn't tell her anything."

"I'm pretty sure he isn't." Cadance said it with calm assurance. "Twilight mentioned her suspicions to me without knowing I knew you already. And I checked into his family before I let him start taking care of Flurry." She glanced to Sunset. "Since we never found out who your mother is, it's not impossible but it's unlikely. The timing between your birth and his is a little too close."

"Kind of a shame. A half-brother would have been cool." But Sunset shrugged, letting the idea go.

With a wry grin, Cadance agreed. "Just another Twilight conspiracy theory," she chuckled. Then she finally turned away from the door and to Sunset once more. "We've got a lot to catch up on, Sunny. But before we do, there's something I want to show you." She paused - hesitated. "Do you trust me?"

First instinct was to react with suspicion. Doubt. Maybe even fear. But Sunset looked into those eyes that held so many powerful, wonderful memories - and her heart skipped a beat. "Totally and completely."

"Close your eyes."

Sunset did as commanded.

There was... it wasn't a flash. It was almost the feel of teleportation but not quite. There was something different about it that Sunset couldn't entirely place - a variation she'd never felt before, even though the analytical part of her mind demanded she stop everything to study what was different. It sort of was like going through the mirror portal (albeit without the physical transmogrification) even if that was totally inexplicable for anything Cadance could have possibly cast.

A few short seconds passed as that magical feeling washed over Sunset. Then Cadance let out a long breath beside her - almost a sigh of relief. "Okay Sunset. Open your eyes."

She did and saw forever.

That was perhaps a bit of a misstatement as 'forever' was beyond the mental grasp of anypony. But what surrounded her was certainly a good attempt at it. They stood side by side in a field of stars and nebulae that sprawled in every direction as far as Sunset could see and beyond. It was as if they were standing among the stars in the sky: surrounded by them, lit by a thousand glittering starlights, bathed in the full glory of the sky. Yet there was something solid underhoof so they could stand and air to breathe - so the nature of it seemed obvious to a learned magical mind like Sunset's. It was a construct of Princess Luna's for certain, perhaps an advanced planetarium for her to view the starry sky from within as she worked her magic and her art upon the night. Beautiful and wondrous, Sunset could do little more than gawk at the spectacle and the amount of magical might that must have gone into constructing it.

Cadance, meanwhile, waited it out. Not patiently as she practically was shaking with eager energy, but still waiting.

"Whoa," is what Sunset finally decided on.

And Cadance giggled - just a bit too manic. "I know, right? I was the same way the first time I came here. I couldn't decide if I was more scared or in awe."

Scared? Sunset thought for a moment and realized that yes - this could be scary. They were standing in the middle of nothing (and everything) with the cosmos stretching out to infinity. If Cadance hadn't been prepared, well... It would be a lot to take in.

She closed the gap to give the alicorn a hug - but Cadance was already gone. The Crystal Princess walked forward into the stars and a moment later Sunset rushed to catch up and trot beside her.

The universe passed them by as they walked without words. Cadance merely hummed quietly - and it connected to something inside Sunset. Deep inside her something vibrated with the same harmony, feeling almost like the magic of her geode. (Which was impossible, as Sunset had left it behind in the human world.) Not how it felt when she used it and someone else's thoughts briefly overwhelmed her own, but how it felt when she simply wore it and the crystal fell into a faint rhythm with her heartbeat. The other girls had never noticed it but Sunset knew it wasn't her imagination. Maybe it was her closer connection to Equestrian magic that let her feel it, just as she could feel it now. But rather than her heart, it echoed the wordless tune that Cadance was humming.

They crossed a thousand leagues of stars before Cadance finally spoke. But it wasn't really to Sunset, even if she was named. Rather she spoke as if addressing the cosmos itself. "You've come such a long, long way, Sunset Shimmer. Your path started from the roughest of beginnings--"

A wave slammed into Sunset, not unlike how her geode's magic activated. The world went briefly white before she saw memories - her memories - burst onto the scene. She saw herself before Princess Celestia, having just been given the honor of becoming the Princess' personal student. An achievement of her own - all her own, rather than under her fathers' directions. She could feel the pride of...

Wait.

That wasn't her pride. The emotion was proud, yes, but not for her victory. It was the pride of a parent for their child, mixed with traces of longing and hope for-- for her sister. It wasn't Sunset's own memory. It was Celestia's of that moment.

Recalling that memory shouldn't have been possible with both Celestia and the geode far away.

The white faded and Sunset staggered.

Cadance continued talking, the memory flash having taken place in the space between words. "--and took you many dark places--"

Another wave of memories washed over her, drowning Sunset's mind. She hovered above the courtyard of Canterlot High, demonic wings spread, fire at her fingertips, and a crown on her head. Below stood Twilight Sparkle - afraid. Afraid for herself; afraid for her friends; afraid for the world; and afraid for Sunset Shimmer. Afraid the girl/pony she had only just met and who had given her nothing but trouble was lost. Afraid of what might have to be done. Afraid that she had failed someone who needed to be saved from herself.

Sunset gasped for air as her own mind came back.

"--but you persevered."

Another wave. Standing defiant before the Dazzlings, shouting her anger into a microphone. Pride boiled up from all six of the girls around her to buoy her, and Twilight's rapturous joy at seeing her friend truly succeed overwhelmed all else.

"I cannot express how wonderful it has been to know you--"

Cadance - bashful and nervous - looked at the filly she'd just been introduced to. Sunset Shimmer was younger but carried herself like an adult. Even from the first glance, Cadance could tell this was a pony who was intelligent and strong. She really hoped she would be her friend.

"--to see you grow--"

Sunset stood in the garden, bathed in Princess Celestia's glowing smile. But that paled in comparison to Sunset's own. It had only taken a drop of praise from the princess - a mere 'I am proud of you, Sunset Shimmer' - to turn the surly unicorn into the happy filly Celestia remembered from the beginning of their time together. She knew she should keep more distance between them - getting close would only cause Sunset more pain when the Nightmare returned - but Celestia couldn't help it. Seeing Sunset's beaming face bolstered Celestia's own spirits and made her happy in turn.

"--and to have had the blessing of your companionship."

They both giggled with glee as the demonstration trebuchet threw another pumpkin off the side of the mountain. Sunset and Cadance were cradled together on a bale of hay, watching the festivities of the Harvest Festival. Their facepaint disguises were smudged to uselessness now, but that barely mattered. For the first time in months, Cadance felt normal. There were no etiquette lessons, no politics, no triple-faced nobles trying to both use and undermine her, no threats of assassins. Just two teenagers enjoying time together. She glanced to her companion - and there it was. A spark turned flame that tingled her still new horn. Cadance knew what that feeling meant. She just hadn't felt it directed at herself before. But there was no mistaking Sunset Shimmer's love.

"Against so many challenges--"

Blueblood's victory turned to horror the instant he realized what happened. Yes he'd wanted to be rid of Sunset Shimmer, but he'd never wanted her harmed. The wound wasn't visible but he could feel how wrong this was. How the end of his blade was in her. His magic cut out as nausea overwhelmed him. He staggered back. She fell. Cadance screamed. And Prince Blueblood felt regret for perhaps the first time in his life.

"--and in the face of adversity--"

Celestia stood in front of the mirror. Scenario after scenario raced through her head about what lay on the other side. Sunset had been gone for three moons and would be for at least twenty-seven more, having left behind only questions. Was she safe? Was she whole? Was she eating properly? Did she understand what was lost as Celestia did? ...Did she regret what had happened as Celestia did? The unknown made it all worse: if something had happened and Sunset was definitively gone forever, there was at least the chance to heal. As it was, she could only hope that Sunset was okay.

"--you showed the strength in your heart--"

Celestia's heart missed a beat when the door opened. She knew Twilight had been coming to see her, but that slipped from the solar princess' mind. Because beside the faithful student was the brilliant student. It was a face Celestia had feared she would never see again. She wanted to cry and to hug Sunset close, preventing her from ever escaping. But at the same time, she couldn't do it. Celestia knew that the rift between them was as much her fault as it was Sunset's - did she have the right to act in such a way? Would Sunset, now so different of a pony than when they last met, even want that? So she held back. She treated Sunset with distance and respect - taking no familiarity to a pony she barely knew any more. (Until later that evening when Luna berated her sister and practically shoved the two together.) But behind the façade, Celestia felt only two things: joy that her beloved student had returned, and pride that she had grown strong enough to face her past.

"--to become truly amazing."

The barrage ended, even as lesser memories that weren't hers washed over Sunset: Moondancer sitting in the library, betrayed and alone; Celestia begging Sunset to take the disguise broach so she wouldn't be dragged into the corrupting ruin of politics; Wallflower's vindictive glee as she presented the vulgar flower arrangement for Blueblood; Cadance's panic when Sunset was hurt during the assassination; Spearhead's fond annoyance when Sunset demanded his jacket for a disguise; Celestia's terror when Sunset invoked the name of the Nightmare; and it all faded out into hazy love - the final memory being Cadance and Sunset's dance at the New Year's Gala.

Cadance stared off into the stellar distance as Sunset collapsed. The assault left her stunned and panting, mind trying to remember where the thoughts ended and Sunset Shimmer began. She dealt with it sometimes from her geode's magic, but had never taken in so many memories so fast and so intensely.

A minute passed before Sunset found her hooves. "Caddy, what the Tartarus was--"

Cadance turned, and her expression stopped Sunset's words dead. There was something in Cadance's eyes that had never been there before. Something foreign to Sunset's memory of a gawky teenage filly who loved to dance and hated her horn as much as her crown. It was the same worldly wisdom Sunset could remember seeing on Princess Celestia - a cross between knowledge and weariness, backed by soft parental love. "Do you trust me, Sunset Shimmer."

It wasn't a question.

Sunset swallowed roughly. But there was only one answer for it. "I do."

Cadance nodded once. And then issued a command with regal authority. "Kneel."

Sunset dropped to her knees, head bowed.

"There are two terms from ancient Pegasopolis," Cadance began. "Ptérux and Ánemos. Originally they referred to the two sides of a Pegasolpolian drachma coin - one side with the image of a wing, the other with iconography signifying the wind. Over time they gained an additional meaning." She approached Sunset, standing over the smaller unicorn. "In the early pegasus war flocks, soldiers would work in pairs to protect one another and cover each other's weaknesses. They used those terms to refer to each other as each pair considered themselves one pony, like how the two faces are still a single coin. When Equestria was formed and the first pegasus explorers discovered the Crystal Empire, the idea passed along to them. Under Princess Amore it became a term of endearment despite the irony of crystal ponies lacking wings. It meant two souls who were joined - more than friends, more than lovers, more than family. The two were one."

Cadance leaned in close and kissed Sunset's right cheek. "In the name of the Crystal Empire, I name you, Sunset Shimmer, as ptérux to my ánemos. We are wind and wing - one and the same." A tiny smile came to her lips. "I know you worry for where you belong, but let this be definitive. You are I, and I am you. You will always have a place in my life and a home at my side, no matter what."

Raising her head, Sunset tried to respond. "Caddy, I--"

She was silenced by a hoof that nudged her head back down again. "In the name of Equestria and all four Princesses, I also name you, Sunset Shimmer, as our ambassador to the human realm." She leaned down to kiss Sunset's left cheek. "There will come a day where we open up relations with the humans, and all of us agreed that you are by far the best choice to represent us to them. You have proven yourself the best of both worlds." In a conspiratorial whisper, Cadance added, "Plus government jobs have pretty sweet benefits. Good pay, you can work remotely from another dimension..."

Sunset broke into giggles at that.

Then Cadance returned to being serious and kissed Sunset's forehead at the base of her horn. "And in the name of harmony, I name you as Sunset Shimmer, Bearer of the Element of Empathy and Princess of Redemption."

"Wha--"

It was the last syllable Sunset Shimmer spoke as a unicorn, the rest blotted out as she was enveloped in a ball of whirling light. Harmony itself unmade Sunset so she could be reforged into something greater - something earned through struggle and sweat and blood.

Below in the void, Cadance beamed with pride as the years old prophesy - the vision granted by the mirror that had shaped so much of Sunset's life - came true and she fulfilled her destiny. She was pretty sure Sunset couldn't hear her, but she said it anyway. "I'm so proud of you, my love. I'll see you soon." And then she stepped out from the void to await the emergence.


Author's Note

I considered for a long time if I could call this a tragedy when it has a good ending. Eventually I decided that yes, I could.

True, it ends on a high note. All the characters end happy. But that doesn't detract from what was destroyed. So much that could have been between Sunset and Cadance and Celestia is gone forever - they can rebuild, but they cannot undo. They found a happy ending but it is in spite of all they lost rather than because of it.

Therein lies the tragedy, I think: Sunset and Cadance both smile, but they will never have that fresh, fiery love of two headstrong teens. Celestia has found her brilliant student once more, but lost years of having a daughter. And so on.

Even still, this ending made me nervous. I've spent years building to it and I agonized over how to make it happen - or even if I should use it. Up until only a few months ago I had an entirely different final chapter ready to replace it just in case. But in the end, this is the one that felt right and I gotta go with that even if I'm terrified.

Thank you all for sharing this journey with me. I thank all those who have commented, who have inspired, who have suggested, who have read. It has been a great pleasure to have the opportunity to tell this story and to have had a receptive and responsive audience.

In a little while I'll be putting up a post mortem blog - stay tuned for that to get some insight into the writing process, commentary on subtexts and head canons, some reveals of cut content, and of course my inability to shut up.

Until the next tale, my friends.

The end.