Early Sunsets Over Equestria

by TheRedFox

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Death, Sad, Princess Luna, Applejack, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Apple Fritter
Length: 10904

Applejack is tired. Apple Fritter is dying. Luna is calm and collected. Rainbow Dash is there, but she really isn't sure if she should be.

Rainbow Dash was not a pony built for emotional talks, long train rides, and deep conversations. She often considered herself to be the exact opposite of those things.

While in the company of three very different ponies, Rainbow begins to wonder what she's meant to do when the situation calls for anyone but her.

CW: the death tag is for a character dying of cancer. No physical on-screen death occurs in the story. This story could be rated E however needs a T rating to get the death tag.

Entry for the Renaissance Contest. Preread by the ambidextrous and enigmatic SunlightRays, the vigilant and incomparable applejackofalltrades, and the ingenious and ineffable wishcometrue. Cover art by the glorious and confluent Mushroom.

Published 2021-07-31 20:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2021-07-31 20:10:03 UTC

Time Changes Everything

Author's Note

For those whose sun set far too early.

Time Changes Everything

“Why are you here?”

She doesn’t answer. I don’t even know if she heard me over the buzz of noise that’s been giving me a headache for the past hour and a half.

“Why are you here?” I say it again, louder.

This time she looks up, gazing at me over the top of her magazine. “Your question eludes me.”

I fold my forelegs across my chest, letting my own magazine slide to the floor. “Why. Are. You. Here?”

Luna shifts her position, flicking the pages in front of her with her magic. “Were my previous answers not satisfactory?”

I narrow my eyes. Spitfire taught me how to read others for facial cues, and to look for holes in their masks. Helped a lot with weeding out scared recruits. But Luna’s face might as well be a concrete wall. “Don’t play games with me. Not now,” I hiss.

“Very well. I am here of my own volition,” she replies without even blinking. “I am here because there is a pony in distress and I felt it was in my best interest to offer her my assistance. As I have stated many times before.”

I want to push it further. But her face is still a rock, and asking her the same question isn’t going to get anywhere. “Fine,” I mutter, slumping back.

Luna doesn’t look away. She studies me carefully, the same way Twilight used to look over something new and shiny. “What about you, Rainbow Dash? Why are you here?”

That catches me off guard. “Of course I’d be here. Applejack is my friend.”

“And is Apple Fritter?”

I hesitate. “Well, no, but Applejack needs help. And she’s her cousin, so… close enough.”

Luna smiles. “Interesting. You truly are loyal to her.”

I grunt. “This isn’t about me! And it isn’t about you!”

“Are you accusing me of being selfish?”

“Yes! I mean, no, I mean… ugh! I don’t know!” I throw my hooves up in frustration. “This just sucks and I hate that it’s happening to Applejack.”

Luna bows her head, opening her magazine again. “As do I.”

“Yeah? Sorry, I didn’t mean to doubt you, I just… you kinda came out of nowhere,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck.

Luckily, Luna doesn’t seem to take offense to that. “I understand,” she says simply.

With that conversation apparently done, I sigh and look around.

The hospital waiting room is still crowded. Dozens of other ponies are sitting around in those stiff and horrible chairs. The patients (mostly crystal ponies) shuffle around, cough, and sneeze. Makes me wonder how many germs are in the air right now. Spitfire would kill me if I got sick before the next show.

Not that she’s been very happy with me to begin with.

But Applejack needs me. She might not be saying it directly, but I’ve known her long enough to tell.

With nothing else to do, I slump back and just let the world wash over me. The ceiling tiles and fluorescent lights coupled with the plain white walls are almost blinding. The smell of chemicals and cleaning agents irritate my nose, and the plastic back of this chair is digging into my back.

I hate hospitals. So much. No matter where in Equestria or even the world they’re in.

These past few weeks I’ve spent way too much time in them, but for once it’s not because I’m hurt. Whenever I close my eyes all I see are diagrams and information pamphlets, text written in plain, bold-faced fonts, and names and faces of doctors that I’ll never see again.

I glance down the hall and catch a hint of orange amongst the endless white. “I think they’re done.”

Sure enough, I see Applejack down the hall, still in deep conversation with a crystal pony in a white lab coat. My wings flutter in anticipation, but the doctor shakes their head a couple of times and the motion makes my heart drop. “C’mon, we could really use some good news right about now,” I mutter.

Trailing behind them is a yellow pony with green braids, laden down with saddlebags. Her eyes drift around, focusing on the ceiling tiles instead of whatever the doctor is saying. As much as I hope that’s a good sign, I honestly don’t think it is.

When they reach the end of the hall Applejack and the doctor shake hooves, then part ways. She tugs hard on the brim of her hat as she approaches us.

“Well?” I ask, hopping from my seat.

Applejack winces. “No good. They ain’t got nothin’ more to offer than what Canterlot had.”

My heart sinks at that as I look over to Apple Fritter. She doesn’t meet my eyes. “But… but I thought…”

“That they could solve it with love and magic or somethin’? Yeah. Me too,” Applejack spits. “But no. They ain’t got nothin’.”

Her face darkens with every single word, and my heart drops.

“So… what’s the plan now?” I ask, unsure of what to really say.

Applejack stares off into space for a couple of seconds. She starts working her jaw, blinking a few times. “I dunno,” she finally says. “On to Prance I guess. We could try Griffonstone but I don’t think they’ll have much.”

I glance behind her. Apple Fritter’s frowning. She looks like she’s about to say something, but instead she just sighs noiselessly and stays quiet.

Applejack rubs her eyes again. “I… I need to go to the post office. We’re gonna have to move some money around. Airships ain’t cheap nowadays.”

I sigh and drape a wing over her body. “Hey, my offer still stands. If you need the money, I can spot you. Don’t worry about that.”

She shakes her head. “Nah, can’t ask you for that. Hell, you… you shouldn’t even be here.”

“Oh come on! You need me here, AJ,” I shoot back.

“I… hm.” She falls quiet at that. We all do.

There’s an announcement over the PA. It’s low and staticy, and I can barely make out the words. It reminds me of a dream: where everything around you is so murky and blurry, as if it doesn’t matter at all.

“Applejack, if I may?” Luna’s voice breaks us out of our thoughts as she trots over. “Shall we return to the hotel? I am certain Twilight would like an update if we are headed out of Equestria.”

Applejack nods. “Right. That’s a, uh, good idea. Let’s go hail a cab.”

The four of us start shuffling towards the exit. I slow down to get Apple Fritter’s attention. “So… how you feeling?”

She makes a face, then reaches into her saddlebags to pull out a small chalkboard. Fine, I guess. I mean, I’m still dying, so there’s that, she writes.

“Uh… yeah. Sorry it didn’t work out here,” I mutter, rubbing the back of my neck.

Apple Fritter just shrugs. Not your fault I was born with this.

There’s another announcement over the PA. It washes over me, threatening to drown me as I stand there, unsure of what to do or say.

“Come on, y’all!” Applejack calls.

Apple Fritter gives me another look, but I can’t read her face. She shoves her chalkboards back into her bags and walks past me, headed for the doors.

I want to call out to her.

But I can’t think of anything to say I haven’t said a million times already. So I sigh, stay quiet, and follow them outside.

It’s kind of crowded in the back of the carriage, but I can’t really bring myself to complain. The driver’s setting a good pace down the streets, although that means a lot of bouncing and jostling in the back.

I wince as another shake bangs me into Applejack. “Sorry.”

“S’alright, sugarcube,” she responds automatically.

I spare a glance at her. She’s got more bags under her eyes than Rarity whenever she goes on a trip. Applejack just stares straight ahead, working her jaw every couple of seconds. There’s no gleam in her eye. There hasn’t been one in weeks.

I sigh, leaning against the door and staring out the window. The Crystal Empire is shiny and vibrant, like some foal’s toy. The sun’s shining bright overhead, but everything still feels so… empty. Soulless. Plastic, even.

Ponies pass us by in blurs as the cabbie races past them. Just shades in someone else’s rainbow, I guess. I see hints of their faces as they pass: bright eyes and wide smiles. It feels wrong.

It feels like it should be raining.

It’s hard for me to describe, but pegasi are naturally attuned to the weather, even those that don’t get cutiemarks related to it. It’s a huge part of our culture and way of life, and Twilight pointed out how it even shapes the way we think about things.

I don’t really do well with emotions. I compensate by thinking about it like weather. Happy days call for clear skies and lots of sun. Sad days call for rain and clouds. Those are the obvious ones. But I can break it down even more: loneliness is like wandering beneath a cloudless night sky with a bit of wind in the early morning. Nostalgia is chilly winds at the perfect time of day, when everything is orange and pink. So on and so on.

I think that’s part of why these past few weeks have felt so wrong.

Because these days feel like storm and rain, flooding out the streets beneath brutal gray clouds. Instead it’s been sunny skies every day.

Part of me wants to fly up there and fix it myself. How can we have happy weather when a mare is dying?

Maybe that’s selfish. I don’t know. But Applejack and Apple Fritter don’t deserve this.

They shouldn’t need to know about chemotherapy options. They shouldn’t be spending their summer bouncing around every city in Equestria in search of a cure, only to be given explanations and options they already know of.

Apple Fritter didn’t deserve to be born as a mute with leukemia.

But what the hell am I meant to do about it?

I look away from the window and towards Luna. She’s staring out the window with that same look she always has, the one I can never put into words because it’s so damn eluding.

If someone as powerful as Luna can’t fix it… what am I supposed to do?

I don’t know, and I hate that.

The carriage hits another bump and I slam into AJ. “Sorry!”

“S’alright.”

Is it?

Again I’m overwhelmed with the desire to say something. But I can’t think of a single word.

I’m not wordsmart like Twilight is. I’m not spontaneous like Pinkie or graceful like Rarity or empathetic as Fluttershy. I’m not even as hardy as AJ is. I’m me, and while normally that’s awesome, it’s not enough here.

But it’s not like I can leave. I’m going to stick with them through this. I… I have to. For both of them.

I slump back in the seat and rub my eyes. Things have to get better… don’t they?

Don’t they?

“Dash? What day is it today?”

I glance over from the bed. “Wednesday.”

Applejack is sitting by the tiny desk, tapping her pencil against the edge. “Shoot. They kick us out at, what, four?”

“Checkout time is four tomorrow, yeah,” I answer.

AJ sighs, dropping the pencil and rubbing her eyes. “Great. Might have to extend it, won’t know until Twi replies about the airship tickets.”

“I shall contact her tonight,” Luna declares from the other bed. “You shall have an answer before then.”

“Thank ya kindly, Luna.” Applejack squints down at the pile of papers in front of her. “Twi probably knows already but most of the options have layovers in other places. Germaney for a few hours, Griffonstone for a day… ain’t many choices.”

I nod at that. “We can figure something out.”

“Hope so,” she replies, tapping the pencil again. “Because frankly we’re runnin’ out of options… and time too.”

We both look over at the couch, where Apple Fritter is sitting and staring blankly at a book in her lap. She doesn’t make any indication that she heard us, but I get the feeling she’s been listening.

Not that we can sneak a lot past each other in a cramped room like this one.

And I’ll be honest, being a Wonderbolt has sort of spoiled me. Everywhere we go, the coordinators make sure we get top-tier suites. I always thought it was weird, I mean I never used half of the space we were given in them. Sure it was still awesome, but it just felt weird.

Travelling with AJ is different. There’s no planning committee weighing pros and cons of each hotel in the city. There’s only us walking into the front lobby and hoping they have an open room. I can’t tell if it’s better or worse.

The room we currently have is made of two beds and a couch. Luna’s so big that she needs one of the beds for herself, and the rest of us agreed to rotate between who gets the couch whenever we need to.

Some nights I wonder what’ll happen if we can’t get a room. Sleep on the streets? Get arrested and sent to jail? Would they send a Wonderbolt to jail?

I really hope we don’t find out. AJ and Apple Fritter have enough to worry about right now.

I sigh, leaning over and fishing a pamphlet out of my saddlebags. AJ gave it to me awhile ago, back when we first started this trip. I’ve read it so many times I practically know the words by heart now. Says a lot since I can’t even remember the Wonderbolts motto despite it staring me in the face every day at HQ.

The pamphlet talks about what leukemia is and available treatment options. It goes over some of the symptoms and recommendations, as well as suggestions for talking about it with the patient.

I look over Fritter again. I can make out the beads of sweat across her forehead and wonder if that’s from the cancer or this stupid summer heat wave.

It’s so bright outside.

I trot over to the sliding doors and look out the window. The empire is busy below us, field with ponies going about their day to day lives. Completely unaware of the struggle that’s going on in this cramped, tiny hotel room.

It makes me feel…

… like storms. Dark, brooding, lightning on the horizon. I grunt and yank the curtains shut.

“Wish it’d rain.”

“Mm.”

“Like, seriously, any change of weather would be great. This heat is horrible for my feathers,” I sigh while flopping back onto the bed.

Applejack spares me a tired smile. “Heh. Got that right. Summer’s ain’t the greatest thing in the world.”

“Truly, my sister puts far too much effort into the season,” Luna hums.

AJ lets out a dry chuckle. I sit up a bit to look at her, but her smile fades pretty quickly. She looks over at Apple Fritter and sighs quietly.

For a second I want to suggest that we go somewhere. Get out of this room, explore the city a bit. Try and get our mind off of this. But I quickly tell myself that’s not a good idea. This isn’t a vacation, so I shouldn’t treat it like one. Apple Fritter probably doesn’t have the energy anyways.

I lay back down quietly, squeezing my eyes shut with a sigh as the clanking of the air conditioning unit fills the room.

When I feel a weight on the bed I crack open an eye. AJ lays down next to me, wrapping her forelegs around my barrel. “Hey,” she whispers. “Don’t think I say it enough nowadays, but… thank ya for bein’ here, Rainbow. Really.”

I shift to my other side so I can hug her back. “Hey, it’s no problem. Seriously.”

She yawns. “Mighty sorry… These last couple of weeks have been hard on me… hard on all of us.”

I give her some pats on the back. “Hey, it’s cool. I get it, you don’t have to explain it at all.”

AJ looks exhausted. Rightfully so, I guess, but… she looks worse than when she almost worked herself to death on the farm. As she lays against me I can almost feel her pain, brushing against me like her body heat.

I can’t even imagine how Fritter must be feeling right now. I think a part of me is glad about that.

“Life really isn’t fair sometimes, huh?” I ask aloud.

“Rarely is,” Applejack replies. “Rarely is.”

Why are you here, Rainbow Dash?

I’m not really sure what wakes me. I blink a few times, the memories of my dream already leaving me as the world fades back in. The room is shadowy, but it’s not completely dark: light seeps through from under the door and behind the curtains. I roll over to squint at the alarm clock, registering it as three thirty in the morning before my brain registers that the spot besides me is empty.

“AJ?”

I sit up, looking around the room. Luna is sitting on her bed, eyes closed and her horn glowing softly. The couch is also empty.

That’s when I hear it: hushed voices from outside the door, in the hallway.

I hop out of the bed, trotting over to it and stifling a yawn.

Even from behind the thick, heavy door I can make out AJ’s voice.

“... just can’t understand that…”

My ear flicks at that. AJ sounds… pissed.

Like the time my low-altitude rainboom shattered all her windows, but worse.

I unlatch the door and step out into the hallway. The lights blind me for a few seconds, but I quickly register the orange blob pacing up and down the carpet as Applejack.

Fritter’s to the right of the door. I rub the tired tears from my eyes to see her face, and I realize something about her looks… off. She’s staring straight ahead in a rigid posture, but something’s burning in her eyes.

Applejack whirls around and snarls. “I ain’t gonna let you do that!”

“Hey, hey,” I whisper, hovering towards her and holding my hooves up. “Ponies are sleeping, AJ. What’s going on?”

AJ just glares right through me. “C’mon, Fritter! You said it yourself back when we left, that you ain’t gonna lose hope like this!”

Apple Fritter responds with a complicated set of foreleg movements.

“You tellin’ me it ain’t?! How the hell can it be anythin’ else?!”

I bite my lip watching AJ. I don’t know what Fritter… well, ‘said’ but it really has Applejack incensed right now.

Apple Fritter replies but it’s completely lost on me. I took Equestrian Sign Language for two years in high school, but that was a long time ago, and Fritter’s signing too fast for me to keep up anyways.

“Horseapples!” Applejack stomps her hoof into the carpet and I wince.

“AJ! Calm down,” I hiss, slotting myself in between her and Apple Fritter. I press against her, gently pushing her to the other side of the hall. “You’re going to cause a scene!”

She huffs, eyes still wide, but doesn’t fight back.

I quickly realize she’s not looking at me, but past me.

Glancing backwards I catch the tail end of Apple Fritter’s signing.

“No!” It’s quieter, but shaky. “It ain’t a waste of nothin’! Money… damn the money! Your life is more important.”

Fritter wavers a bit but continues. Her motions are shakier though, and her entire body trembles.

Applejack swipes at her eyes. I grab her tight, trying to break through to her. “AJ, talk to me.”

But she doesn’t. She blinks rapidly and a million different things flash through her eyes. “I don’t want to lose you too,” she whispers.

Everything falls quiet at that. I can’t help but stare at AJ, completely unsure of what to say. Fritter doesn’t seem to know either as she’s standing stock still. The hallway is just filled with the faint buzzing of the lights, and that hazy exhaustion that’s been there ever since we left Ponyville.

Finally, Fritter moves. She walks over and gently brushes me aside, then envelops AJ in a hug.

Applejack buries her head into Fritter’s shoulder, still shaking. “F-Fr-Fritter…”

The shaking grows worse, and her words become incomprehensible as huge, gasping breaths form in between every word.

She gives a cry, and it’s… anguished. I rush over to join them as her wails grow louder.

A door next to us opens and I catch a glimpse of another pony. Tired confusion fills their face, like they can’t decide whether they should be angry or confused. Eventually they give a sympathetic nod and gently pull their door shut again.

“Come.” I glance behind us to see that Luna has opened the door to our room. “Applejack, Apple Fritter, come.”

They move together, pausing at the door where Applejack turns to me. “She… she said she doesn’t wanna go anywhere no more,” AJ whispers. “She wants to go home.”

I blink a few times, trying to process that. “Uh… let’s talk about that later, okay?”

She nods, or just trembles again. I honestly can’t tell. I start chewing my cheek as they step back into the hotel room, probably to continue their conversation. I’m tempted to follow, but… it feels wrong. They need time.

Luna stays outside with me as the door swings shut. “Geez,” I mutter, scuffing a hoof on the carpet. “I… hm.”

Luna gives me a small smile. “Is something on your mind?”

“I… I should be with her, but she needs time,” I say.

“Mm. A difficult choice but I admire it. I would say you are correct. It is never pleasant to see the ones we love in pain,” Luna replies.

I nod, leaning against the wall. “Yeah, I guess you’d know that better than anyone… Luna, is what AJ just said true? Fritter wants to go home?”

“That is a question for her,” Luna answers with a shrug.

“Right, because you wouldn’t know anything about that,” I scoff.

Luna narrows her eyes at me.

“I still have a hard time believing that you just showed up here without knowing anything,” I add. “You still dreamwalk, right?. That’s how you ‘told’ Twilight what our plan was. So I feel like you know more about this than I do.” I finish the point by leveling my hoof at her.

Surprisingly Luna chuckles. “Ah. Perhaps I do, but dreamwalking is an intimate act. I am not at liberty to disclose the things exchanged with them. Answers are not always mine to give, and secrets are not mine to share.”

I grunt at that. “Gee, well thanks for nothing.” I sigh, rubbing my temples.

“Are you alright?”

“No! I mean, how can I be?” I throw my hooves into the air and hop into a hover. “Applejack is hurting, Fritter is hurting, and I can’t do anything! And I hate that!”

Luna doesn’t answer. I turn around to kick the wall, but think better of it at the last second and pull my hoof back.

“Just… argh!”

I feel a weight on my shoulder and see that Luna’s put her hoof on it. “You are here, Rainbow Dash. That is enough.”

I bite hard on my cheek. “...how can it be?”

“Not every problem can be solved with sonic rainbooms,” Luna replies with a knowing smile.

“Life’d be much easier if they could,” I answer, rubbing my eyes.

“You are tired. All of you are,” she muses. “You must remember that you can’t set yourself on fire for another. I know that you want to help her, but sometimes--”

“Don’t.” I cut her off with a wave of my hoof. “I don’t want to hear that right now.”

Luna relents.

“I can’t take this, I’m going to see if they’re ok,” I decide. I trot back across the hall and yank on the doorknob, only for my blearly mind to register that I didn’t grab a key before I left. “Luna, I don’t suppose you…” I trail off when I see her horn start to glow. “Oh. Right.”

“Order fifty four! Order fifty four!”

The cafe is packed at this hour. Dozens of crystal ponies are crammed into the small shop, most of them thankfully keeping to themselves. I’m guessing that most of the crowd is here to grab a quick meal before heading off for a long day at work.

I wince as a pony bumps into my seat. “Sorry,” they say before darting off towards the bathrooms.

I shrug and go back to starting at the pastry and styrofoam cup in front of me.

The four of us are sitting around a small table that’s covered in crumbs and water droplets. It’s still really early but the heat is already creeping in, soaking into the pavement and flooding into the streets.

AJ yawns, reaching for her coffee cup. None of us really slept last night. I spent most of it rubbing AJ’s back while she and Fritter talked quietly.

Fritter’s tired and wants to go home. That’s… pretty much the gist of it. I was tempted to talk about it, but last night just wasn’t the right time.

Today, however, is a different story.

“So,” I say. “You uh… you want to go home?”

Apple Fritter blinks, then reaches for her chalkboards. It’s the same news everywhere we go. There’s no magical mystery cure for me. If I’m dying I want to do it at home.

“You ain’t gonna die.” Applejack says it evenly, but I can feel some fire in her words.

Fritter shrugs and wipes her board clean. Facts are facts. I’m exhausted, so are you. There’s no point. My body hurts, I feel sick, and my mane is falling off. I want to go home.

Applejack frowns. “Fritter, how can you be so sure there’s no better options out there?”

Don’t you think we would have found one by now? Fritter returns.

“We just gotta keep lookin’,” Applejack replies, gripping her cup tightly. “It’s out there.”

The smartest pony in Equestria is literally your best friend, and she doesn’t have an answer. She taps the side of the board to emphasize then wipes it clean. Even if she did, don’t you think it’d make more sense to stay near her?

AJ folds her arms across her chest. “Twi’s smart, but she don’t know everythin’. I ain’t gonna accept that there’s nothin’ out there to help you.”

Apple Fritter’s face darkens. I already have, and I’m the one with the cancer. Why can’t you?

“Because I won’t!” AJ slams her hoof onto the table, a noise that’s barely even registered in the chaos of the cafe.

Luna clears her throat. “Applejack, anger will not get us anywhere.”

“Rainbow, c’mon, don’t you agree this is ridiculous?”

I blink at the sudden attention thrown on me. “Uh… kinda. I mean, AJ's right, it doesn’t really make sense to turn back now.”

And which one of us is terminally ill again?

“And which one of us isn’t givin’ up?!” AJ retorts.

Fritter slams her chalkboard to the table and begins signing at Applejack, ending with a… very rude gesture that you don’t need to know sign language to understand.

“Calm yourselves!” Luna commands. “Acting like foals helps no one.”

Applejack flops back in her chair but she is clearly still seething.

“Now,” Luna continues. “I believe that such a choice, no matter the intentions, lies in the hoof of one pony. Apple Fritter’s choices should be respected, even if our own beliefs hold us otherwise. If you refuse to, then I will have no choice but to escort Apple Fritter home myself.”

With the matter apparently settled she happily takes a bite from her pastry.

“That’s a load of-- I’m her cousin! You have no right to butt into family matters like that!” Applejack cries.

Luna raises an eyebrow. “Being family is not an excuse to ignore another’s will.”

AJ snarls and I quickly realize I should step in. “Hey, calm down. Look… I think Luna kinda has a point.”

“What?!” She looks hurt and it sends a shudder down my spine. “Rainbow… how can you agree with her?”

I hold my hooves up defensively. “Look, I know how you feel but… Fritter’s an adult, she can make her own decisions. And… I don’t like seeing you like this. It isn’t you.”

A thousand different things flash over her face. “Fine.”

“AJ?”

She stands from the table, her face completely blank. “Fine, if y’all wanna be like that.”

“Applejack--”

She doesn’t answer. Without looking back she storms out of the cafe.

It takes me some time to react. Apple Fritter goes back to poking at her food while Luna sips from her coffee: with neither of them making a move it’s pretty obvious what I should do. “I’m going after her,” I mutter. Neither of them stop me as I shove and stumble my way through the crowd.

The sun is peeking up over the mountains now, and the streets are relatively full of ponies on their way to work. I crane my neck looking up and down the road but don’t see AJ anywhere.

Where could she have gone? Back to the hotel? Nah, couldn’t be, we checked out already.

With no better ideas I start heading off in that direction. I don’t get very far before I hear a faint noise from nearby. In a little alley running between the buildings, someone in a stetson is kicking a trash can.

Applejack slams her rear hooves into it, landing buck after buck into its already dented surface.

“Hey!” I approach her, but she doesn’t seem to register my presence outside of an ear flick. “AJ, knock it off! You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“What do you care?” She whips her head around to glare at me.

“Don’t give me that,” I shoot back, staring into her red, hazy eyes. “Look at yourself. You’re wearing yourself down.”

She kicks the can again. “Yeah and it ain’t enough! So I gotta keep goin’!”

With every blow her voice cracks, and her breathing gets more and more labored.

“I gotta… I gotta… I gotta.”

I wrap my wings around her and pull her away from the can. “AJ, relax.”

She trembles. “Dash, I… I… I can’t…”

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay,” I whisper as she latches on to me.

We always say that Applejack cries on the inside. But this is probably as close as you can get to her breaking.

Her voice is punctured with huge gasping breaths that become hiccups as her form continues to shake. I can feel her hooves dig into my back as she clutches me, but I don’t care.

Nothing matters to me now except her.

“I… I can’t fail,” she whispers. “I just… can’t.”

“You didn’t,” I mutter. “I know it’s hard for ponies like us to come to terms with, but… we didn’t fail. We never had a chance to fight it. We just… we gotta do what we can.”

She doesn’t reply.

I don’t really know how much time passes in the alley. All I feel and all that matters is the mare in my arms, and nothing else is going to change that. Not the suspect smells or the sunlight beating down on us or the pedestrians passing by.

I don’t even breathe until AJ pulls away. “T-thanks,” she says, swiping at her eyes. “I… that was wrong of me. And you’re right, both of you. Ain’t my choice.”

“Yeah. Doesn’t mean we can’t keep doing what we can, but…” I suck in a breath. “Doesn’t mean the problem is something we can punch to death.”

She chuckles, or maybe it’s a sob. “Reckon so. We… we better get back.”

I nod, and she leads the way out of the alley. As I start walking the blood rushes back into my head and dizziness wracks my body. Did I say the right thing? Did I mess that up?

The exhaustion creeps in and clouds my brain. I already forget the things I said and how AJ reacted to them.

I curse myself. I’m not the right pony for this. I’m not the one that AJ needs to help her through this. My skills are being fast! Not… whatever this is.

I squint up into the blazing sun above and wish it would rain. Because at least then something would feel familiar.

Right now I think that’s something all of us need.

Compared to the cafe we spent the morning at, the train station is like a barren desert.

It’s fairly small compared to other stations around Equestria like Canterlot and Manehattan, but at least it’s not filled to the brim like those are.

The tracks sprawl off into the distance. The more important matter is that there’s no train on them. That’s because the Equestrian Railroad system is horribly mismanaged. I should get Twilight to fix it.

I don’t know what the problem is, but their trains always seem to be late. Today, frustratingly, doesn’t seem to be an exception.

Applejack sighs, standing up from the bench she was resting on. “I’m goin’ to the little filly’s room,” she mutters before shuffling off.

I watch her go, stifling a yawn. I was looking forward to getting some sleep on the train, but it looks like I’ll have to keep waiting.

The platform doesn't offer much to look at. There’s some stores at the far end where Luna wandered off to, but I’m not really interested in milling about convenience stores at the moment. Besides that it’s just benches, trashcans, and the occasional passenger.

At least there’s shade and wind here. Makes the heat slightly bearable.

I look over at Apple Fritter, who’s trying to smooth the pages of her book against the wind. “So…” I say. “How’re you feeling?”

She gives a noncommittal shrug.

“Oh. Cool.” I nod a few times. “What, uh… what’re you reading?”

Fritter sighs, shutting her book to reach for her boards, making me feel guilty for not knowing sign language in the process.

Book Fiddle bought me, she writes. Hope I’ll finish it before I die.

“Uh. Yeah. I… me too?” I try to chuckle but it dies halfway through my throat so I try to disguise it as a cough.

Fritter just shrugs again.

I start absently chewing my cheek again. “Um. You know… You know AJ just wants the best for you.”

She snorts. Fritter starts writing something but shakes her head and cleans the slate. Maybe, is what she ends up saying.

“What?” I shuffle on my seat to stare fully at her. “She’s working herself hard for you, you know.”

Fritter frowns. I know, but-- She apparently changes her mind as she wipes it and restarts. Yeah. I know. It’s--

She pauses to tap her chin with her chalk before starting.

--hard for me to describe. Applejack is like a hero. That’s how she is.

Another wipe to make room.

She looks at me like I’m something to protect. I’m not. I don’t want that.

“Huh,” I say.

I didn’t ask her for protection, and I don’t want her sympathy.

A cool wind breezes through the station as a couple passes in front of us. “Then… what do you want?”

Right now? To go home.

“Honestly… I can agree with that,” I mutter with another yawn. My eyes flick down the pavilion towards the store. “You think Luna’s gonna buy one of those terrible shirts?”

That gets a smile out of her.

“Who knows, might look good on her. Rarity hates those things though.”

She laughs, soundless as always, and I feel a little more relaxed.

“By the way… why is she here? I was not expecting her to show up at the train station back in Canterlot. But she seems… pretty intent on following us around,” I say.

Fritter takes a few seconds to write. She came to me in a dream. Said that she felt my pain and fear.

I tilt my head. “How’s that different from what AJ’s doing?”

It doesn’t feel like sympathy. It genuinely feels like she understands. It’s hard for me to explain, really.

“I guess it’s fair,” I say. “Felt weird at first when she popped up like that. Thought she’d be doing… I dunno, whatever it is they do nowadays.”

Fritter shrugs yet again.

“Hey, seriously. I know you said you don’t want sympathy, but I’m rooting for you. Show that cancer who’s boss.”

She smiles and mouths a word: thanks.

I hold my hoof out and she bumps it.

With that done I lean back and shut my eyes, letting my mind wander to clouds above Ponyville and cool weekend afternoons.

I wonder if I’ll ever get those kinds of days back, or if they’re gone for good now.

The plan for sleeping on the train didn’t work out for me.

I don’t know if it’s anxiety or if I’ve just ascended to a new level of exhaustion, but halfway to Vanhoover I’m still wide awake.

If it’s any consolation though, Applejack pretty much passed out the second we sat down. She’s sitting across from me, forelegs folded across her chest and hat over her eyes, snoring away.

In the absence of literally anything else to do, I dig out the brochure from my bags again and reread the text to myself quietly. I get halfway through it when Luna speaks.

“Have you considered the transplant option, Apple Fritter?”

Apple Fritter shrugs. Dunno. Most of it seems expensive. Need a donor anyways.

Luna bows her head. “Mm. And how do you feel about it? Change is a fickle thing, after all.”

“I feel that,” I agree.

Too much change, Fritter writes. This cancer, it changes every single thing. Your routine, your life, how ponies look at you. Everything.

A hefty silence fills the room.

“There is a saying that I recall from the time before my banishment,” Luna says. “Time changes everything. I have found those words to be remarkably relevant, even for me.”

Fritter raises an eyebrow. Even as an immortal?

“A thousand years passed me by when I was lost in my own hatred and spite,” Luna muses. “Our world is a cruel one, and it cares not for who you claim to be. Time is a fickle creature and when it comes, change is never far behind.”

“Huh.” I blink a few times. “Luna, do you… ever have memories? Like, days you wish you could get back. Maybe just feelings you can’t always put into words… emotions maybe. Stuff you’d give anything to get back.”

Luna laughs quietly. “Oh, millions. But there is no force strong enough for me to bring them back.”

“I dunno, Starlight literally made a spell that sends you back in time,” I scoff.

“But it can not revert change. I am not the mare I was before and I never will be again. Such is the nature of time.” Luna blinks. “I apologize. I had not meant for our conversation to turn like it has.”

Apple Fritter signs something to Luna.

“Mm. Quite true.”

I perk up. “What’d she say-- I mean, y’know.”

“She said that if there’s one thing cancer has taught her, it’s not to take a second of our lives for granted.”

“...huh.”

I don’t really have anything to add, so I let the conversation lapse.

The air is filled with the rhythmic clacking of the tracks beneath the car and AJ’s snoring. Sitting there in that steaming hot car, watching the scene fly by the window… it gets something stirring in me.

Something that makes me feel nostalgic and sad all at the same time. I can’t describe it more.

“Hey, Luna? Uh… how do I say this…” I take a few seconds to think. “Have you… dealt with this kind of thing before?”

Luna is quiet. “There are certain ponies who dream before they pass,” she finally says. “Which makes me the last pony that they see.”

Apple Fritter glances at Luna. Something crosses her face.

I guess Luna senses it because she rises and wraps her wings around Apple Fritter in a hug.

The rails keep rumbling beneath us.

“Can’t believe it.”

“Me neither.”

Applejack kicks a rock and we watch it skip down the road ahead of us. “How is every hotel in this rotten city booked to the max?”

Fritter stomps her hoof on the ground then passes Applejack a tourism brochure.

“Hah!” AJ practically spits out that laugh. “Whaddya know. A Mattress Convention! Drawin’ in ponies all over Equestria.” She crumples the brochure and spikes it into the ground. “Talk about rotten timin’.”

We got into Vanhoover at a… not great hour. The stationmaster informed us that there wouldn’t be a line out of the city until tomorrow, because once again, the railroad system is terrible. I know what I’m leveraging with my Wonderbolt status next.

From there we went from motel to hotel to motel only to find that everything is pretty much full. Luna actually offered to use her royal prerogative to kick someone out of a room but Applejack and Fritter wouldn’t hear any of it. After that we tried to sleep at the station but the stupid security guards wouldn’t let us.

“Who even hosts a convention about mattresses?”

I shrug, looking up and down the road. “Where are we even going?”

“I dunno. Could ya go see what’s up ahead?” AJ decides, rubbing her head.

“Yeah, gotcha.” I spread my wings and take to the air.

Even at this hour it’s warmer than it has any right to be. I sigh, wiping my brow and squinting against the streetlights as I scout out the area. “Looks like some sort of twenty four hour store up ahead,” I report.

Luna and Applejack look at each other and shrug. “Might as well grab some food,” Applejack says. The others agree and we trot on up to it.

The air conditioning is a welcome break from the humid air outside. The cashier gives us a vague welcome and we’re greeted by fluorescent lights and shelves and shelves of various products.

We split up to wander the shelves. I end up with Luna and Fritter sticks with AJ.

“You ever wander around a store like this at weird hours?” I ask, picking up a pack of potato chips and squinting at the flavor.

“I have not, although their existence was intriguing for me upon my return,” Luna answers. Something occurs to her and she perks up. “Does this shop stock the fizzy raspberry drink?”

“Uhhh… probably?”

“Excellent!” Luna beelines it to the drinks section, leaving me alone in the aisles.

When I look down at the bag again I feel my eyes kind of tunneling. I yawn as the weariness sets in again. I can’t help but shiver as a breeze from the air conditioning graces my feathers. Some muffled pop song is playing over the speakers. It’s one that sounds faintly familiar but I just can’t put my hoof on it.

I turn to leave the aisle and see Apple Fritter waiting for me.

“What’s up?” I ask through another yawn.

Fritter grins and holds up a small, colored bag that makes my eyes light up.

“Oh, sick! Poppers!”

We grin at each other and nod. “Great find,” I say, giving her a slap on the shoulder.

Luna appears behind Fritter with several bottles in her magic. “Huzzah!”

The three of us laugh and for a second, things feel right and normal. Maybe that won’t last, but at this point I don’t care. I break off to speed around the store and scoop up some other foodstuffs in my forelegs before rejoining the others at the counter.

“Dash! What in tarnation is all this? You’re gonna die if you eat all this tonight!” AJ cries, eyes bulging as she stares into my basket.

I cackle at her, slapping my bitbag onto the counter. “Nah, I’m awesome! Besides, all this is my treat. Besides, check this out!” I triumphantly dig into the pile and pull out a box of frozen strawberry popsicles. “... they uh, didn’t have anything apple flavored. Sorry.”

Applejack just scoffs and rolls her eyes.

Minutes later we’re outside in the lot outside the store, sitting on the fences and gorging ourselves on snacks.

We mostly keep to ourselves until Applejack clears her throat in between bites. “Fritter, what happened to your leg?”

Fritter swallows a spoonful of instant noodle (heated with help from Luna and store bought water) and looks over to inspect it. A small bruise has formed about halfway up her right foreleg. She frowns, thinks, then sets down her food to sign something.

“She thinks she hit it on the doorframe at the first hotel,” Applejack translates.

I pop another chip in my mouth but my chewing slows as I really look over Apple Fritter.

She looks so small and weak beneath the streetlights. Her form is shriveled and skinny, and her bright green mane is thin and almost see-through.

I squeeze my eyes shut and take a drink from my energy drink. When I open them again I rummage into the small bag of poppers and pick one up in my hoof. Turning away from the store, I lob it as far as I can down the road, where it explodes after hitting the ground in a satisfying pop.

I half-expect AJ to chew me out, but she doesn’t say anything. So I grab one and fire again. “Celestia that feels good.”

When I go to grab my third Applejack’s already there. She bounces it in her hoof a few times, then takes a few steps forwards before letting it fly with a grunt to emphasize it.

We watch it fly down the road. “Heh, try n’ beat that, Rainbow!” She taunts.

“Oh yeah?” I seize a popper but before I can throw it, AJ holds up a hoof. “No wings.”

“Fine. Sure.” I plant myself and toss it, but spike it into the ground on accident.

Applejack laughs. “C’mon Rainbow, what was that?”

I stick my tongue out at her, even as Fritter smirks at me. “Shut! Before I throw one of these at you!”

“You’d never!”

“Don’t test me,” I smirk before letting loose another throw. We watch it sail through the air before I cheer. “Hah! Told you I could beat that!”

“Hogwash,” AJ scoffs. “That was a whole inch short!”

“Nah, I was way further! Right guy--” I turn around just in time to see the entire bag sail over our heads.

The noise it made when it hit the ground was… louder, to say the least.

“Luna!” I cry in protest.

“What?” Luna asked. “Is that not how the game is played?”

I sputter as Applejack and Fritter crack up. “Ugh! Well, at least I brought more…”

Applejack trots over to Fritter, wiping tears from her eyes. “Heh. Fritter, you remember that state fair years ago? Was that fun or what?”

Fritter nods fondly.

“You, me, Brae, Fritter, and Lavender… those were the days, huh. Nothin’ to worry about except hamburgers and candy apples.”

Fritter perks up at that and suddenly scrambles, almost knocking over her food.

“Geez, girl! What’s got into you?” Applejack cries.

Once she sets her food down Fritter laughs soundlessly and signs something at Applejack, who furrows her brow.

“What do candy apples have to…” She trails off as her eyes go wide. “Oh. Oh.”

“What?” I ask, prodding her in the side.

She turns to me with a smile. “I think I figured out where we’re staying tonight.”

I don’t know how they do it, but I swear that every member of the Apple family seems to be a phenomenal chef. I know they’re huge, but it’s just uncanny. On that point…

“How do you forget one of your own family members lives in this city?” I ask, pointing my fork in AJ’s direction.

Applejack sighs, glaring at me. “You ain’t ever gonna let me live that down? Told ya, I was tired. Wasn’t thinkin’ straight.”

I snicker, shoving some more pancakes into my mouth.

“Y’all good, AJ?” calls a voice from the other room.

“Eeyup! Thanks a million, Candy! I definitely owe ya!”

“Naw, don’t sweat it,” replies the aptly named Candy Apples. “Family helps family! Even when y’all show up at my doorstep at three thirty in the mornin’. Anyways, gotta run, y’all can make it to the station alright?”

“No worries, Candy. I’ll catch you later,” Applejack shouts back.

“Count on it. Tell Fritter I love her and wish her the best! See ya!”

The slamming of a door announces her exit.

Candy Apples was kind enough to accommodate us for the night and even make us some breakfast to make up for last night’s “dinner.” We pretty much passed out the moment we laid down, but the rest couldn’t last forever: the first train left at ten, and we did not want to risk missing it.

Apple Fritter was currently in the shower, and Luna was… somewhere, so AJ and I were enjoying some time together. I take a sip of apple juice before I pose a question to her. “So… how you holding up?”

She wavers for a second but shakes it off. “Fine, I reckon. Gettin’ by like the rest of us.”

My chewing slows for a second. “You sure?”

“Sure as I can be.”

“Huh. Uh… anything I can do?” I ask.

“Heh.” She sets down her fork and rubs her eyes. “Is there anythin’ any of us can do? Seriously, you’re here Rainbow. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”

I gingerly poke at the eggs. “It’s no problem, really. You’re my friend, AJ, it’s what we’re made for. Just… really wish there was more I could do.”

“Mm. I think we all do,” AJ says. “But unless any one of us can undo change, reckon we can only do our best.”

I sigh, lifting another forkful into my mouth. “Yeah. Still… sorry I can’t do anything more. Wish I could just magic it away like Twilight or something but I’m just me.”

“Aw, that’s sweet sugarcube,” AJ chuckles. “But ain’t nothin’ to apologize for. Things happen out of our control. Even if we don’t like it.”

The morning sunlight falls across the table, bouncing off the glasses and pitchers and throwing beams onto the wall. From beneath the floor and behind the wall there’s the moaning and rattling of pipes, probably from the shower. I hear hoofsteps above us, likely just Luna walking around. But no matter how bright it is out there, it still seems washed and faded by the time it reaches us. “Hope things get better.”

“Me too, Dash. Me too.”

The train we get bypasses Canterlot, so we don’t have to worry about spending the night.

Unfortunately the weather’s pretty much peaked before we’re even halfway there so sleeping’s not possible. Feels like a weighted winter blanket is warped around me and no matter how hard I try, I can’t shake it off.

I swipe my brow again, cringing as my hoof comes up wet.

It’s so bright outside that it really just hurts to look at. Vibrant colors that feel brighter than my own mane flash by, in the forms of trees, hills, clouds, and sky.

Apple Fritter is slumped over, head resting on the windowsill. The light barely reflects in her eyes. Every now and then she seems to wince in pain and move a hoof to her stomach.

Next to her Applejack pulls the brim of her hat down over her eyes with a grunt. She shifts about uncomfortably, careful to not accidentally jostle her cousin.

Next to me, Luna is mostly still, and unlike the rest of us apparently not sweating buckets. Her eyes are closed and her head is bowed, but every now and then she cracks open one to look at Fritter.

There’s nothing to really say, and even if there was, the heat will have cooked it to death.

So we just sit there, tired, bored, and angry, with nothing but the scorching heat and our own thoughts.

After forever the train finally pulls up at Ponyville’s station. Home, but not really: we have to switch trains here to get to Appleloosa.

That’s when I remember that Pinkie Pie exists.

“Oh shoot,” I whisper as we head for the door. “AJ, do you think Pinkie’s going to do… something? No way she misses out on a visitor to Ponyville, even if they’re passing through.”

“I dunno,” Applejack says half-heartedly. “Ain’t in a mood for a party, as much as it might damper her spirits.”

“Maybe I can find her. When’s the next train--” The doors slide open and we’re face to face with the rest of our friends. “... never mind.”

Pinkie Pie is standing at the forefront, a smile on her face.

But I quickly realize that it’s not a typical one. And she’s not coiled at all. In fact she’s… almost still.

We slowly step onto the platform, mostly just confused. Looking around, I recognize other ponies too: AJ’s family, Sweetie and Scootaloo, the Cakes, Lyra and Bon Bon…

“Pinkie, what’s…”

Pinkie steps in front of Apple Fritter. Without saying a word, she wraps her in a hug.

“Oh.” I glance at AJ and we understand what’s going on.

After a few seconds Pinkie breaks away with a sniff, then Rarity steps forwards to replace her. She whispers a few words into her ear, finishing with another tight hug.

And the parade continues. Ponies from all over give her a few words and a hug before taking their leave.

By the end of it, Fritter’s crying.

Applejack goes over to rest a hoof on her shoulder. “You’re not alone in this, sugarcube,” she whispers. “You never have been and never will be. We’re all here for you.”

Fritter sobs, clutching her tightly while Luna and I watch.

“Do not underestimate the power of simply being there,” Luna muses. “It can be refreshing to know that we do not face change in solidarity.”

I nod with a quiet smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

The crowd disperses pretty quickly after our arrival. Can’t blame them though, still scorching out here. I end up hanging out in the shade with Fritter while Luna, Twilight, and AJ talk about the upcoming schedule to decide if we pass a night here or leg it out to Appleloosa.

I glance over at Fritter and notice she’s shaking a bit. “Uh… you alright?”

She pulls out her chalkboards and almost fumbles them to the floor. When she finally is able to steady her hoof to write, she etches out two words: I’m scared.

“Of what?”

Dying.

I suck in a breath. “Oh.” I shoot a nervous glance up the platform, but the others are still busy talking. “That’s… that’s understandable.”

I don’t want to die, she writes, chewing her lip.

My mind starts racing for things to say and I’m reminded of an earth pony fan who was terrified of heights and asked me for advice. “What exactly scares you about it?” I ask.

She thinks for a second. I’m just scared of what happens next. Once I die.

I nod. “Hm. Well... I guess one way to look at it is that it won’t hurt. I imagine it wouldn’t anyways. Just… sort of like going into a pool or a bathtub maybe? Like, it washes over you and then nothing.”

Fritter nods. But I don’t want to go. I’m never going to have kids, or a future. I don’t want to be forgotten.

“You won’t be! I mean, you saw how many ponies showed up earlier,” I point out. “You’ve got your family. AJ is never going to forget you. You’ll still be around, in their memories at the very least. And I know we just met recently, but I know I’m not forgetting you anytime soon either.”

I guess. Fritter takes a second to compose something. Yeah. I guess that helped. She wipes it clean and starts over. I’ve been trying to brush it off with jokes and stuff but it’s not really working.

I take a second to consider that. “My advice would be to not focus so much on that. You’ve still got time left. Sure, maybe we don’t know how much, but… we never really do anyways. So maybe try and make the most of that time? Do what you’ve always wanted to do, fix any bridges you might have burned.”

She nods again, apparently chewing on the thought. I finished that book weeks ago, you know, she writes, pointing to the one I saw at the Vanhoover station.

“Oh. Well… always time to get another one?” I slump over and sigh. “...sorry, I just really don’t know what to do. I’m not very good at this kind of stuff, y’know?”

Fritter smiles. Nah, what you said was right. And you’re listening which means a ton to me.

“That’s a relief. I swear, I’m always worried I’ll screw something up. Talking’s not my strong suit, AJ can attest to that,” I say with a laugh.

She sets aside her boards and gives me a hug.

“I’ve got your back,” I say to her as I hug back. “Don’t you forget that now.”

“Hey y’all,” calls Applejack. I turn to see that she’s got a big smile on her face. “Think we’ve got somethin’ sorted out for gettin’ to Appleloosa.”

Celestia, it feels good to fly again.

I’m closer to the sun up here, but there’s a lot more wind up here to balance it out. It feels great in between each feather. More importantly though it means we’re not on a train.

Next to us is a bright pink hot-air balloon, piloted by an equally pink earth pony.

Apple Fritter and Applejack are in the basket, and Fritter is peering over the side with a huge grin on her face.

“Is Applejack alright?” Luna asks from beside me. “She looks… a bit green.”

“I’m sure she’s fine,” I say, doing a quick loop. “Ohhh yeah, that hits the spot. Aren’t your wings sore from that train ride?”

Luna just tilts her head at me.

“...I guess not.”

The basket wavers a little and I hear Applejack yell something. I dart over to the balloon to laugh at her. “You scared or something?”

“I ain’t scared,” AJ snaps. “Just caught me off guard!”

“Sure. At least Fritter’s enjoying it!”

Fritter laughs soundlessly, giving Applejack a playful shove.

I pull away to do a few more spins through the air. It’s strange to think that weeks ago I didn’t know Fritter at all. She was just some random pony, much like the one piloting the balloon, who I had probably met in passing but never got to know.

There are probably a million other ponies who could have been here to help her, but instead it was me.

But it’s like what Luna’s been saying this entire time. Sometimes you don’t have the perfect pony for the job. All you’ve got is yourself: when that’s the case, you better make it count.

The landscape around the balloon is awashed with color, but it doesn’t feel as oversaturated as it did when we were on the train. With the mid-afternoon sun and the shadows splashing across the ground below… this time it feels right.

And that’s enough to get me to smile.

“Well… we did it,” Applejack declares.

The setting sun behind her outlines her form in a hazy golden glow, her shadow falling to the ground in front of her. After our arrival I spent the time giving my wings a workout while AJ and Fritter caught up with their family members.

Said members are currently up the path at the farmhouse, sharing a group hug on the porch.

And now it’s time for us to head back to Ponyville.

“We did,” I agree, yawning again. “I’m gonna sleep for like days when we get back.”

“If only I could,” AJ says.

The bags under her eyes got a little more prominent. Her voice wavers and breaks, and I feel like she might collapse at any given moment. I can’t blame her, this trip was exhausting.

“...you need my help on the farm?” I ask.

“Nah, you don’t gotta burn yourself to death for me,” AJ replies with a wave of her hoof.

“Hey, you don’t get to work yourself to death either,” I protest.

She laughs. “Big Mac ain’t gonna let me do that, trust me. I’ll manage.”

We look up at the house again. It feels far too early for a sunset.

“Thank you both for comin’. Really,” AJ says softly.

“Tis no problem,” Luna says, her mane flowing in the desert wind. “I have met many ponies who I wished I could have helped. I regret that it is not until now that I was able to assist.”

I nod. “Yeah, I think we all learned stuff from this.”

AJ hums in agreement as she rubs her eyes. “I just… I really want her to be okay.”

“As do I,” Luna says, draping a wing around her. “As do I.”

And we stand there in the hot, humid evening air, looking up at the farmhouse where we said our goodbyes and thinking about the future. I can’t help but look back at everything: carriage rides and hospitals, the store lot and Candy Apples’ house, all the way up to the trains and balloon ride.

They sucked, there’s no doubt about it.

But standing here… I know that every single one was worth it.

Later

I woke up alone.

The spot next to me wasn’t even warm, meaning that whenever Applejack had left, it had been a while ago.

It took me a bit to find her. She wasn’t in the bathroom and she wasn’t in the kitchen.

No, she was on the front porch, sitting in her granny’s rocking chair with a blanket wrapped around her.

“AJ, what are you doing up so early?” I mutter.

She doesn’t answer. The chair rocks back and forth as a few birds start chirping in the distance.

“AJ, talk to me.”

“I think it happened.” Her voice is hoarse and her eyes still don’t meet mine.

I blink. It takes some time for me to figure out what she’s saying. “Did you get a letter?”

“I felt it,” she says. “I…” Her voice falls off for a second. It takes a few minutes before she tries again. “I had a dream where it happened. She was there and said that it was time for her, and she was there to say goodbye.”

I lower my head. “I’m… I’m sorry, AJ. Really.”

“She…” her voice breaks. “She’s not hurting any more.”

I move in and hug her. She buries her head into my chest and lets out a scream.

It might have woken everyone up. It might have scared the birds away. For all I care it could have broken all the windows.

Her tears fall into my coat and she grabs me tight. Her body shakes violently, her voice descending into nothing more than choked sobs interlaced with gasping breaths.

I don’t say anything.

I don’t think there’s anything to say.

We stand there as the sun starts to rise, holding each other in silence as her tears leak onto the porch. Time marched on past us, but I didn’t notice or care. The wind kicked up piles of dead leaves in the orchard, and after some time the birds dared to chirp again. It was peaceful, in ways that were both absolutely right and wrong.

It was hurt and it was relief. It was warm and cold, the heat of summer and the chill of winter.

We got the telegram from Appleloosa hours later.

[end]

Author's Note

"I don't know what you're going through right now. And I can't say I understand because I don’t and I never will. If it’s amazing I hope you remember to breathe, if you're caught up I hope you remember to let go. If it's overwhelming I hope you remember that you're a pony and that’s beautiful. If it's heartbreak I hope you remember you're never alone. If it's nothing I hope you're brave enough to see past it and strong enough to get there. I know you are.

And it's easy for me to say from back here but everything is ok, even when the barn is burning down and your world is on fire. Savor every second of everything. No matter what we have or haven't done, our best days can never be behind us. I hope you remember that.

If you're reading this, I wish you all the luck in the world, you need it more than I do."