No Job Like a...

by An Intricate Disguise

Rating: mature
Tags: Porn, Trixie, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Sunburst, Maud Pie, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6736

Starlight and Trixie ask Sunburst who gives the better blowjob, but his answer is so vague that they end up needing a contest to figure it out!

Starlight and Trixie ask Sunburst who gives the better blowjob, but his answer is so vague that they end up needing a contest to figure it out!

A contest with Twilight to officiate and perhaps participate. And Maud, because Maud.

If I can at any point distract you from the horse-dicking, I've got a blog I'd like to point you to as I could use some help right now... Please give this a read if you have some time, thank you!

Published 2022-01-14 01:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2022-01-14 01:00:04 UTC

Take a Lick?

“Hey, Trixie?”

Sunburst hadn’t gotten quite around to opening his eyes yet. While the night had been pretty wild, and it was approaching two in the morning by now, these increasingly late forays into the early hours had started to become pretty routine since Trixie, Sunburst’s girlfriend, had returned from tour.

“Yes, Starlight?” Trixie answered from her spot laid against his chest, fuzzy and soft, replying to his other girlfriend from across the bed.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but have you been working out?” Starlight’s words were slow, careful, and methodical. It was clear she was looking to avoid any chance of falling into the usual Trixie histrionics. “You seem a little…”

“A little?” Trixie answered with a light trill that reminded Sunburst of a mother bird having its nest poked at. “A little what, Starlight?”

“It’s not bad! You don’t look like, muscular, or anything!” Starlight stammered and shifted to his left, and Sunburst opened a single eye to see her sitting on her haunches facing the pair of them, a grimaced smile on her face. He was still a bit too brain-blasted from the half hour of fellatio that had just transpired to really register what was going on, just that Trixie had found yet another thing to be potentially pissed about. “No, really, you look nice! Toned, even! It’s just, I noticed a bit of a change, is all…”

“Hmph. I was incredulous that anyone hadn’t thought to mention yet, but it is true that yes,” a hoof thudded against her chest, “Trixie is indeed becoming an exercise enthusiast.” Sunburst wasn’t looking at her, but he could feel her flexing her lightly muscled body against him, likely showing off to herself just as much as she was to Starlight. “Behold, Trixie’s chiseled but plush and impeccably fluffy abdomen.” Sunburst shifted back in his seat as she sprang to life, clearing a space on her side of the bed and sitting back on her hind legs, waving her forehooves in the air as if to captivate both their attention, a too-large grin ever present on her muzzle.

At a glance, you’d think she was a total loon, but even as she’d mellowed out over the last year or two, this was always gonna be Trixie’s deal. ‘Showponyship was the essence of performance, and your entire life was a show.’

“Now, Trixie didn’t gain such impressive definition through simple cart pulling, nor meagre calisthenics, no.” She shook her head with a tut, as if to dismiss the thought entirely. “Trixie instead used a far more successful method, one that will both amaze you with the results and that you’ll find to be both accessible and affordable!”

Sunburst resisted the urge to roll his eyes, just barely. Far as he was concerned, he was happy to be a little bit pot-bellied for the rest of eternity and never try shifting the weight again. Still, he tried his hardest to appear to be listening intently. She had just had his dick in her mouth, after all. You’re nice to people who let you put your dick in their mouths.

“What’s the secret then? Is there some kind of magic to it?” Starlight cut in with wide eyes, still checking Trixie out. To be fair, she did look pretty great, but then, it wasn’t much of an improvement on usual? Trixie had always been a really fit pony, especially for a unicorn, considering most of the time they relied on magic to do everything, so seeing the fitness you’d expect to see on an earth pony on a more slender-bodied unicorn was always a fun novelty.

“No magic to it at all, though you’d think so, huh?” Trixie gave a wink, so animated, flicking her tail as she spoke, a living spectacle demanding the room’s eyes on her. Antithetical to that, Starlight seemed to be looking intently at something past Trixie, over by the shelves, though it shocked him that Starlight could take her eyes off of her. It wasn’t the pitch that kept Sunburst staring, it was her body.

Which also happened to be the subject of the pitch, so he supposed technically he was interested in what she had to say, or rather what she was talking about, in some roundabout way.

Trixie motioned a hoof from the nape of her neck down her chest to her stomach, promiscuous and slowgoing. “This is the result of a low effort but high intensity workout regime that anypony can do at home, regardless of their situation, with just a little bit of space available! It’s streamlined to fit in with your schedule and not take up massive blocks of your day, it’s got raving reviews, and it comes with an approved specially curated diet to help speed along the process! This is the—”

“Sandy Shores Fifteen Minute Buns Workout?” Starlight yanked a book from across the room in her magic over to the bed, then after a cursory glance, jammed it in Trixie’s face. “Is this what you’re trying to pedal to me?” Starlight had an eyebrow raised, to call her glance skeptical would be an understatement. “So, you mean to tell me that you achieved all of this—” another gesture to Trixie’s belly, “—using the cumulative diet and anaerobics expertise of a famous pop star.” A pause. “A pop star who swore blind in her ‘23 Canterlot Sun Festival interview that the only reason she didn’t ‘balloon up from all the shit she eats’ is because she can ‘fit her entire hoof in her mouth’.” Another pause, a blink. “That Sapphire Shores wrote this, and you vouch for the fact it works.”

Trixie did the surely appropriate thing to do when being caught out in a lie and hastily put up a strawman. “Why exactly do you know Sapphire’s interview quotes off by heart?”

Starlight was quiet for a moment. Her answer came in the absolute smallest voice she could muster. “...she’s a sassy, fierce, spectacular pop sensation that didn’t need no label to make it and make everypony love her,” Starlight’s voice rose as she spoke, until eventually it sounded as if she was channeling Sapphire herself. She caught herself, bowing her head and scratching the back of her neck. “She, uh, was kind of an inspiration to me in my delinquent phase.”

“So that’s what we’re calling it now?” Trixie jeered, echoing her statement with another flex, before finally settling back on the bed propping her head up with a hoof, body still on full display, choosing a pose that Sunburst was sure she’d describe as ‘sultry, but not downright slutty’.

“Yes, that is as a matter of fact what we’re calling it, and—hey!” Starlight shook her head rapidly, as one might when a butterfly tried to land on your muzzle. “Don’t change the subject! I might see Sandy Shores as a bit of an idol, but I’m hardly blinded by the lights over here, and I know for a fact that that mare has never lifted a hoof for exercise for as long as she’s been able to afford not to, which I imagine has been a while!” Starlight jabbed a hoof out. “And I imagine you know that too, so—”

A scoff and a hand-wave from Trixie stopped her in her tracks. Sunburst sat tentatively but all the same quietly amused the whole time. He knew that if he expressed any enjoyment over the situation he’d never hear the end of it, but all the same if he asked for the subject to be changed he’d be committing a major faux pas too. “Trixie would like to know just how you think she has achieved such radical bodily transformation since her last tour, then, if not for the help of her esteemed friend, Sapphire?”

“Esteemed friend, huh?” Starlight raised her eyebrow just about as high as it would go.

Trixie caught herself in a stammer, blanching and shifting her eyes left and right. “We… ahem.” Trixie’s voice became a whisper, so quiet you couldn’t have made out the words if there was any other noise in the room. “We happen to have met during my tour, yes… We had venues near one another one night, and became friends in a bar that sat between them.”

Didn’t take Sunburst long to add two and two together, nor Starlight from the looks of things. She gave Trixie a very skeptical look. “You took a sponsorship deal from Sapphire Shores, didn’t you?”

“Nothing like that!” Trixie assured her, laughing off the accusation with a light wheeze, as if it was the picture of ludicrousness. “Well, technically I took the deal from her management team… but the program works! I mean, sure, it’s just an intermittent high-intensity workout plan with another keto clone diet structure to go along with it, but it works well enough! I have been following it pretty stringently, plus pulling my wagon, plus, plus, morning and night jogs daily.” Trixie smiled her most exaggerated smile. “See? Trixie was being genuine and forthcoming the entire time!”

Starlight was silent for a while, contemplating, as all the while Sunburst tried to distract himself with other thoughts. It reduced the compulsion to speak and say something stupid. Apparently, Starlight didn’t hold the same reservations. “All of that for months, just to lose a few pounds and gain a little definition? Hardly seems worth the effort. I’d rather just morph my body with magic.”

“You told Trixie that she looked spectacular!” Trixie looked as if she had just been slapped, but by contrast Sunburst was surprised not to see a red mark across Starlight’s face as recompense for her statement. “You told Trixie that she was the fittest pony in the Crystal Empire and all of Equestria, and that you would do anything to attain a body that could even dream of paralleling Trixie’s!“

Starlight groaned. “Alright, fine. First off, I never said a word of that.” Trixie went to speak, but Starlight put a hoof over her mouth, leaving her to just flail angrily until she deemed to remove it. “Second, once again you’re pedaling a sham and exaggerating to me. Leave the bullshit showpony stuff out there on the road, and keep the honest girlfriend with integrity here with me, and I won’t get annoyed anymore. Got it?” A shallow breath. “I’m not a member of your audience and I’m not one of your rubes.”

Sunburst looked between the pair of them in awe as they went on. He had absolutely no idea how the two of them managed to talk like this to one another. If he’d said even half of what Starlight just had to Trixie, he’d get hexed from here to Tarturus and back, and if he tried the same with Starlight she’d probably go walk out on him for ten years again or something. Maybe it was a girl thing, or maybe he was just too much of a damn pushover.

Still, he had a nice thing going and he wasn’t about to start testing the waters. Not many stallions could boast two best friends who were both his girlfriends, even if they were a bit crazy at times.

Or all the time.

“...so you’re telling me that you don’t want a body like Trixie’s?”

Starlight growled audibly. “Really? That’s what you got from that?”

“It’s what you’re saying, is it not?” Trixie pointed a hoof at Sunburst. “I’ll have you know, he hasn’t taken his eyes off of me for as long as I’ve been home, so what does that say about how Trixie might look, hmm?”

“He—” (who has a name) “—is probably just happy to see you again! You’ve been gone for months and back for a few days! Why’s it got to have anything to do with your body!” Starlight stopped herself, apparently just remembering that Sunburst was in fact in the room, rather than being an abstract concept. “Sunburst, do you—”

“Please don’t ask me about whatever you’re arguing over.”

“No, you’re involved, you chose to be involved in our arguments the moment you chose to share a life, a house and a bed with us,” Starlight motioned to Trixie, who stalwartly nodded. Of course they had a sense of solidarity over this, regardless of the fact they were in a middle of an argument. It was almost comical, but it didn’t surprise him in the slightest.

Sunburst weathered a sigh. He imagined there was nothing good that could possibly come out of this situation. “Alright, shoot, what’s the question?”

“Out of me and Trixie, which of us is better looking?” Starlight asked in the bluntest manner possible.

She didn’t blink, her position unerring, but Sunburst had been in enough similar relationship situations in the past to deal with this kind of psychological warfare at least marginally well. He sucked in a breath through his teeth, mulling over his words in his head for a moment, knowing he couldn’t take too long, feeling four eyes on him and knowing there were eight hooves and two horns ready to pummel him at the slightest misstep from here on out, and then spoke. “I don’t think that’s an easy question to answer, you’re both incredibly attractive to me, and not just because of how amazing you both look, but your distinct personalities too.”

“Oh, what a politician’s answer,” Starlight scoffed, waving away his lame attempt and shaking her head. “Listen, forget personalities, forget all of that, just brass tacks, which one of us is better looking. No bullshit. Give us a straight answer.”

Sunburst considered his options. He could keep squirming his way around it, trying to think of diplomatic ways to reassure them that they were both equal without making any real comments, or he could go all-in and hope that they’d respect his opinion. Knowing the pair of them like he did… “Fine. Ass goes to Starlight, a hundred percent.”

“As it should,” Starlight affirmed, giving it a little shake.

“Trixie has got a really defined core, her belly and chest look adorable. You can’t deny that.”

“No, Trixie cannot deny that,” Trixie answered for Starlight, who simply nodded.

“And as for the rest? I dunno, Trixie’s got really nice lashes, but your eyes are a beautiful colour, you’ve both got really pretty manes but I think I’d give that one to Starlight just because I like the style a bit more, as for the rest I think you’re both pretty stunning altogether so… I still couldn’t honestly say. I love the way both of you look, but I can acknowledge that there are definitely differences and I do have stuff I prefer on each of you.”

Starlight and Trixie looked at one another for a moment, and then nodded between themselves.

Apparently, some kind of silent agreement had been made, and Sunburst breathed a sigh of relief. He seemed to have passed the trial with his boyfriend privileges still intact. Almost felt a bit too easy, like he might’ve actually gotten used to dealing with these two mares and not falling flat on his face as a byproduct.

As they all laid together, there was silence for a while, and then: “Alright, fine, but say you only had to date one of us. Who would it be?”

“Can Trixie’s answer be Trixie?” Trixie asked, brushing her mane out of her face and poking her head up from Sunburst’s chest.

“It was a question for Sunburst, and no, it can’t.” She paused. “At least, probably not. I’ve heard cloning magic can be complicated.”

“So it does exist?”

Trixie seemed to stew on that notion as all the while Sunburst stretched out his limbs and prepared to dodge the incoming bullet, Starlight’s attention fixed firmly on him.

He decided to go for the alpha approach. Enough was enough, he wasn’t gonna pussyfoot around these landmines anymore, time to pile through them. “I’d probably choose Trixie, because she doesn’t ask me shit like this.”

Trixie laughed, being pulled back into the conversation, as all the while Starlight visibly twitched. “Are you serious right now?”

“A tiny bit!” Sunburst could see the redness on Starlight’s face, and soon remembered this was a pony who had once almost reduced Equestria to a time-rewritten ash pile based on childhood resentment. Resentment that stemmed from him.

He decided to change his tactic. “Ask me something a little more fair. I was joking with my last answer but you keep asking me questions that at least one of you or probably neither of you are gonna like the answer of, and it’s not even relevant! If you’re gonna ask me something, at least make it something that isn’t so serious and isn’t gonna make you mad, and for Celestia’s sake, that doesn’t mean start asking me more questions now. This interview is over. Time for bed, I think.”

“Alright, alright, got it.”

Starlight simply sat there and grumbled for a small while after Sunburst set her straight. It felt nice to be in the proverbial driver’s seat of this relationship for once, far too often he was simply going along with whatever the girls were doing. Still, maybe he could get used to being listened to just a little more often.

“So, which one of us gives the best blowjob?”

Scratch that. No one was ever going to listen to him about anything, ever. This one got Trixie’s attention too, her ears perking as she flashed a toothy grin and leaned down to give him a tender kiss on the chest. “Well, we both know that answer, don’t we, my dear little Sunburst?”

Jeez, this was happening. Did he know the answer, even? Knowing the answer was probably pretty pertinent right now. That said, even if he did, how would it help him? If he did have a favourite, would it spark resentment from whoever he didn’t nominate to be the premiere fellatio provider?

“We do know the answer, don’t we, Sunburst?” Trixie pressed, clearly not impressed with his stalling, his fidgeting, his ‘umm’ing and ‘err’ing. She stood on the bed, all sudden and animated, and looked down her snout at him, gaze imperious and thoroughly unimpressed. He tried to meet her gaze, but faltered, blinking hard. “I swear, if you tell Trixie that she isn’t your favourite, Trixie will be very unimpressed, and furthermore, Trixie will be forced to disprove you thoroughly.”

That… didn’t sound too bad. He was sure he caught her winking at him too, though it might’ve been his imagination.

Before he could revel too much, he received a light smack on the temple from Starlight. “Stop thinking about it, you dirty dog!” Her scolding snarl was replaced with an all too enthusiastic grin the second Sunburst’s attention was turned to her. “Think about me instead…” She twirled her hair with a light sprinkle of magic before letting the coils bounce back into place, gently swaying her head from side to side. “I’m your favourite little mouth to use, aren’t I, sweetheart?”

“No cajoling the witness!” Trixie interjected, thrusting herself forwards and forcing her cheek into Starlights until they were smushed together. “It’s totally cheating!”

“Not like you weren’t just attempting to bribe him!” Starlight fired back, turning into their struggle and pressing her horn against hers, pressing their foreheads together. “All of that ‘Trixie will be forced to’ blah blah is just you offering to suck him off! You think I’m blind, Trixie?!”

Sunburst couldn’t believe this was happening. Usually, when the two of them got into an argument and he got dragged into it, it meant that they inevitably ended up redirecting their frustrations onto him and finding a reason he was at fault, but not today? Today he might actually end up being the beneficiary of their dispute?

Slowly, a grin began to form on Sunburst’s face, though he was sure neither of them were quick to notice with how intently they were staring at each other. It was no surprise that either of them were competitive in nature, considering who they were, but to think that Starlight cared as much as Trixie surprised him a little. Nevertheless…

“Ladies, ladies, stop for a minute. Just listen to me,” he started, making sure to keep his expression as neutral as possible as he did so.

Reluctantly, slowly, the two of them turned their heads, still slightly pressed against one another. “Yes?” they said almost in unison.

Sunburst hadn’t really gotten time to think out how he was gonna do this and didn’t exactly have a plan, but… “I’ve thought about it, and I honestly don’t know which of you is better. I’ve never really considered it enough before to rank it in my head, and I suppose I don’t like to play favourites if I can help it.”

“Well, that’s really useful,” Trixie scoffed, turning back to Starlight, presumable to resume bickering. “Thanks for letting us know absolutely nothing.”

Eh, not exactly the result he was going for. Trixie turned back to Starlight to keep talking, effectively pressing the mute button on Sunburst, but she was stood stock still, clearly in thought.

After a few moments hesitation, she spoke up, albeit quietly. “Are you being honest?”

“Yeah, I really am.” And he was, too. Between the two of them, he had no idea who was better, though he was sure he could make up his mind with a good long think about it. That said, that didn’t change the fact that he had a specific hope in mind, even if it was a longshot.

Starlight seemed to be in the business of granting wishes. “Do you think that maybe…”

“Maybe?”

Starlight had veered off for about five seconds, she was essentially staring into space, but Sunburst’s voice seemed to pull her somewhat back. “Maybe if you had, like, some kind of basis to go off of…”

“He does,” Trixie stated bluntly. “Trixie and Starlight have given him a pretty wide ‘basis’ to go off of in the past. I don’t know how this is a difficult question.”

“Okay, then who’s best at going down on you, Trixie?” Starlight butted in, “Because I don’t know if I could answer that so easily.”

“My answer is Trixie,” Trixie stated, before demonstrating with a quick stretch and a flick of her horn, causing her tongue to briefly elongate before snapping back into her jaw the moment she released the magic. “You don’t make it far as a travelling magician without being capable of at least some bodily manipulation magic, and Trixie is already rather flexible, as you are aware.” She blinked twice, cheeks suddenly rosy. “Trixie just doesn’t do it in front of you guys because Trixie doesn’t want to make you feel inadequate.”

‘More like because it was fucking weird’ was most likely what Starlight was thinking too, but she shook off the perplexed look soon enough. “Well, I’m glad you’re so self-assured, Trixie, but the rest of us don’t really have how we do ourselves as a base of comparison, so I can get why it’s hard for Sunburst to answer.”

“Y-you really think he doesn’t just wanna upset one of our feelings?” Trixie snapped back into the conversation, cheeks still red. She seemed distracted. “Trixie would be surprised if you were lying, Sunburst, but Trixie has been surprised before. Oh well, suppose we’ll never know.”

Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Why not? If there’s anything I learned as a student under Twilight, it’s that if you wanna know the answer to pretty much anything, you can always just—”

“Beg to be friends with it? Write a letter to Celestia about it? Rely on your friends to deal with it for—oh who am I kidding, we like her now!” Trixie smiled a very large smile that was potentially too large. “Tell us, Starlight, what would Twilight do?”

“She’d find a way to test it, and I’ve been thinking of one for the last couple of minutes.” Starlight levitated over a piece of paper and started scribbling on it before eventually holding it up for the other two to see. There was a hastily drawn graph with Trixie and Starlight’s names on it, and a few messily labeled categories for measuring. “We compete with each other. Both of us take turns showcasing our respective blowjob abilities, and then Sunburst will score them based upon certain criteria that we’ll decide in advance.” She looked between the pair of them with an enthusiastic spark in her eyes. “It’s fun, it’s fair, and I doubt anyone will get upset by the answer if we do it like this. So, thoughts?”

Sunburst couldn’t believe his ears. His highest hopes had been that they’d both end up putting a little more enthusiasm into blowing him in order to show each other up but this was above and beyond… He could feel his jaw hanging a little at the implication. An entire competition, just to determine which of them was the best at giving head, with categories? What kinds of things would it even be graded on?

“Trixie is down,” Trixie answered, nodding her head once. “Trixie relishes the opportunity to prove her sovereignty at any task, and having a formal competition only makes Trixie’s inevitable victory more official!” A pause, a snicker and a sideward glance. “And I highly doubt Sunburst would mind either.” She leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. “This will be the official competition for which mare gives Sunburst the best blowjob of his life!”

“Of my life?” Sunburst cut in, and immediately wished he hadn’t. He gulped so hard it almost pained him, watching as the inference was made by first Starlight, who looked at him with a mixture of ‘not okay with it’ and ‘trying to be okay with it’.

“Right…” She seemed to fight a shudder a little. “Forgot you’d been with other mares before we got together. Kinda didn’t occur to me that neither of us might be the best at giving you blowjobs ever.”

“It had not occurred to Trixie that you were capable of attracting other mates.”

Of course it hadn’t. How could it have? Sunburst still couldn’t believe what he’d just said, it was so pig-headed and impulsive of him, he hadn’t even considered what kind of reaction he might get, or thought of how the two mares around him might react to it. Starlight seemed to be a little disturbed by the idea, but Trixie?

Trixie rolled her tongue between her teeth for a few moments before she spoke next, as if she was attempting to experiment with the syllables before they formed, teasing the concept in her brain. Eventually, she asked: “Is there any chance that we could perhaps, just maybe, make this contest a little larger?”

Sunburst wouldn’t have rightly believed what he was hearing if it wasn’t for the mare whose mouth it was coming from. Of course Trixie wanted to compete in front of a larger audience, of course she wanted to prove definitively that she was the best of all time. Starlight shifted in an uncomfortable looking way, eyes darting between Sunburst and Trixie as she let the question hang. Sunburst was shocked, and tried his utmost not to look too excited by the prospect, for fear it’d be shot down out of spite. He knew he needed to be as nonchalant as possible if he wanted any chance of this actually going through...

“Why exactly would we need a bigger contest? To try and make sure that Sunburst definitely got the best he’s ever had?” Starlight’s words were elongated, her tone a little shrill, it was clear she was uncomfortable with the thought of it.

“Not scared that you’ll end up coming last, are you Starlight?” Trixie snickered as she spoke, until eventually softening her eyes and meeting Starlight’s gaze. “You won’t come last. I’ve seen how you get in the bedroom. You’re scarily efficient when it comes to foreplay.” A pause, a stutter. “N-not that you’ll beat me, either. You’ll just be a close second. ...but not that close!”

“I’m not worried about that!” Starlight protested, shaking her head. “I’m generally pretty secure in myself but…” She gestured between the three of them. “I dunno, what we have is pretty special to me because it’s us and we’re all so close, but who would we even get to do it with us? I don’t wanna do it with ponies we don’t know that well, it’d feel too weird. I want there to be some kind of bond there, y’know?”

Sunburst understood what Starlight was saying, but could see the potential problems there too. Ponies that were strangers to them it wouldn’t be too awkward if he enjoyed, but when it came to ponies that they all knew, things might get pretty weird after especially if Trixie or Starlight weren’t the top scorers… He supposed he’d have to make them score highest somehow, or something, but what if he had no control over it? What if they could tell he was faking enjoying himself less or more with certain mares, or if he came too fast, or—There was a mixture of dread and enthusiasm beginning to form in his body, manifesting in a dull ache in his stomach and a light stiffness in his cock. The thought of this whole contest was as exciting as it was perturbing, and part of him was beginning to hope it wouldn’t go ahead, but…

But, he couldn’t really see a way he could protest. Trixie and Starlight were still discussing ponies that they might wanna try and rope into this, and every time Sunburst imagined himself with one of them, it caused another little stir downstairs, another feeling of guilt, and another urge to speak up, but what would he say? That he didn’t wanna do it? That’d sound like a blatant lie, but the only truthful reasons he could have would be incredibly rude. Saying he wanted it would sound just as bad, it’d be akin to telling the girls that he wanted his cock sucked by other mares, which they might assume as him confessing to not being satisfied…

“—What do you think about that, Sunburst?”

It really was a big fucking mess. By the time there was a pair of eyes on him again, pressuring him for an answer to a conversation he’d entirely lost in the face of his own thoughts and worries, he didn’t know what he was meant to say. “I…”

“We’re saying Twilight would be a good third, because if anything she’d make sure we were conducting the test fairly, and I’m thinking about Pinkie Pie, I’m fairly close to her, and apparently Trixie has a bit of a thing for her, so I guess I’m okay with that? I know you’ve only met Pinkie a few times but I figured you’d be okay with it too?”

Pinkie, the earth pony? Hell, he didn’t see any reason why not! And then there was Twilight, who he’d actually considered to be about as beautiful as Trixie or Starlight already, not that he’d made a point of saying so at any point… Well, maybe he’d mentioned it once or twice when those two would bring up which of their friends they ‘would if they could’, or in Starlight’s case with Twilight, already had, even if it was just a couple of slightly inebriated kisses before any of these three got together.

But honestly, it could’ve been almost anyone, the fact this was happening was fucking insane. Him, Sunburst, was gonna get blown by four mares? How was he so lucky, how was he gonna—fuck. “Uh, girls? How long exactly do you guys expect me to realistically keep going in a test like that? Like…” He could feel his cheeks burning a little as he arrived at the point. “Not really sure how many times I can cum in one sitting? Or even keep hard after cumming that many times?”

“Trixie mentioned that already, and I think I’ve got a solution,” Starlight smirked as she reached a hoof down and placed it under the blankets, lightly gliding it against Sunburst’s thigh. “Mind if I?..” With a nod affirmative, though he was unsure what she’d do, she grazed the inside of his thigh and the length of his still slightly stiff cock with her soft, fluffy hoof, causing him to tense up a little, before suddenly, her horn sparked, and Sunburst felt what he could best describe as an electric zap shooting from the tip to the base of his cock and then up and throughout his spine. He soon found himself stiffening even more in Starlight’s lazy grasp, despite the fact she wasn’t exactly doing a lot to stimulate him…

“How exactly are you doing that? What kind of spell lets you—” Sunburst cut himself off, it was obvious to him when he thought about it. “You’re awakening the bloodflow down there and compelling the muscles to become active with the kinetic energy, aren’t you?”

Starlight sighed and turned to Trixie with a pained expression which she reflected right back before turning to face him with a neutral nod. “Honestly, Sunburst, you have such a way with words.” She sighed. “Yes, that’s what I’m doing. And I think I could make a potion of sorts that would replenish your let’s call it ‘supply’ and also basically take care of the need to cool off in between sessions. How’s that sound to you?”

Starlight kept on lazily stroking Sunburst off as she spoke, but he was only half paying attention to the hoof around his cock. “So you’re telling me that your plan is to create a concoction that’ll regrow sperm cells? The applications of a potion like that sound incredible, but also tricky, if you’re adhering to Strawhooves’ six principles for biological botanics, the difficulty of introducing pony essence to plant-based potions using—”

“For the love of Celestia, Sunburst, please. Just one time can you not do this.” Starlight carried on stroking his cock, though her rhythm almost felt huffy, if that made any sense. She was softly but erratically jerking his length with sharp movements in a petulant and childish manner. “Yes, you’ve figured out what I had in mind, and I have the details pretty much covered. It’d be nice if you seemed more interested in me than discussing my magic theory, though…”

“Oh, I’m sorry… that was insensitive, wasn’t it?” Not that he needed an answer, he knew it was downright a step beyond antisocial, considering the situation they found themselves in, but he couldn’t help it! Theoretical magi-slash-alchemical concepts were the shit to him, he couldn’t get enough of them. The unnatural stiffness of his cock seemed to offset the rhythm of her hoof, it didn’t feel any more stimulating than usual, but all the same he was soon incredibly hard, and standing at his full and fairly impressive stature.

The rush of thoughts jettisoning through his head only served to fuel his horniness as he imagined the coming session. He went to speak, though his breath caught with a gasp as Starlight picked up the pace a little, starting to feel some real friction down there, a desire to lightly thrust against her hoof, but it was still offset by the questions that plagued his mind. “So the plan is to have each of you girls blow me, and we rate everyone, and that’s it? Test over?”

Starlight paused, looking very deeply at him, and then asked him in a very flat tone: “You wanna know if you’ll get to fuck us, too, don’t you?”

Sunburst pushed his hips up a little at that, which was more of an answer than his stammers would ever amount to. “I-I guess the thought crossed my mind ever so briefly, yeah.”

“Trixie doesn’t mind,” Trixie said, leaning forwards and dribbling a little onto the tip of Sunburst’s cock, allowing Starlight to rub it in, leaning even further down looking as if she’d give him a casual lick before bouncing her head back up, getting only an inch shy of contact but choosing against it. She regarded him with a gleeful, teasing smile. “I want your mind fresh for when this contest happens, so in the interest of fairness, how about no blowjobs until we have everyone ready and this test is ago, hmm?” She tapped a hoof against her chin before opening her mouth once more. “Also, if Sunburst does end up getting to have his way with these other mares, does that mean that Trixie can do the same?”

“Trixie!” Starlight exclaimed as the pair of them looked away from the rapidly developing handjob situation up to their girlfriend with shock plastered across their faces. “Any particular reason both of my partners want to go fuck every pony in Equestria?”

Sunburst found it more hot than anything, not that he wanted to let on, though Starlight could probably feel his cock throbbing against her. Still, he was just about as shocked as she was. “Well, I’d feel threatened if you wanted to go bed a bunch of stallions, but—”

“Uh, that’s reductive and kinda sexist,” Starlight remarked, immediately unhoofing her boyfriend, leaving his still unnaturally erect cock sitting there like an unmarked flagpole. “First off, we’re both bisexual, so why would you feel any more threatened by a stallion bedding either of us than a mare? Is no mare in the world able to measure up to the experience of your godly manhood?”

“You said it, not me,” Sunburst laughed, before receiving a slap on the chest. “Okay, okay. I mean, yeah, a mare could totally give you a better experience than I ever could in theory, sure, but it just feels different to me. I can’t explain it.”

Starlight tilted her head, still looking unimpressed. “Toxic masculinity bullshit, I assume?”

Sunburst shrugged. “I mean, maybe? I think it’s just that the idea of two mares together is hot enough that you can let the worry about who’s gonna feel which way afterwards slide. I mean, that’s basically what happened with you and Trixie and me, and look at us now a year later.”

“You have to admit, he’s right,” Trixie chimed in with a solemn nod.

“No he isn’t!” Starlight was waving her hooves around the bed now, incredulity and frustration congealing in the look of utter bewilderment on her face, knitted eyebrows and an agape mouth complimented by a pair of fiery red cheeks. “First off, we all knew each other before we got in a relationship, and we all got in a relationship together, at the same time, as a mutual decision! Me and Sunburst weren’t shacking up and then one day decided to sleep with you too, we all got into this together!”

“Trixie just meant he was right about it being hot, but Trixie doesn’t care.” Trixie shrugged her withers, motioning to the two of them and then herself with a hoof. “I don’t go around bedding ponies while I’m out on tour because you two are my ponies, and I want to do things with you, but personally I’d have no problem with it. Trixie doesn’t mind so long as she knows who she really loves.”
“Y-yeah, that’s how I feel too,” Sunburst tacked it on the moment she saw Starlight’s expression soften. He could read much easier when someone else had said the right thing for him than he could figure out the right thing to say for himself. It was one of the many benefits of a relationship such as this one.

“I can’t be mad at you,” Starlight laughed to herself. “You’re just being you, as always, you’re the most authentic pony I know.” She leaned forwards and kissed Trixie, slowly, softly, wrapping a hoof around the back of her head and pulling her close, allowing their tongues to meet and slowly dance together.

This was the one of the other many benefits of a relationship like this. Loved up cute as hell lesbian makeout sessions.

Author's Note

Good to be back. Really good to be back, I've missed you all.

That all said, I've got a blog post I hope you can take the time to read, as it's pretty serious. If you're able to have a look, a million thanks.