Bug Wife

The power of the Elements of Harmony is a mighty thing indeed. It is the very power of magic itself, able to contain gods, dispel ancient and powerful spirits, and even drive evil from one’s heart. For those on the receiving end of this power, there is no way to overpower it. The best one can do is wait until its magic eventually fades, which can take thousands of years, or, far more preferably, they not be around to be hit with a beam of rainbow at all.

Chrysalis, now exiled queen of the Changelings, had rotted in the dungeons in Canterlot with that child pegasus and the centaur for days. They were to wait at the princess’ leisure for a trial. There was no hope for any sort of leniency; these ponies were pathetically weak, it was true, but even they couldn’t forgive the things that the three of them had done. This trial was simply a formality, and the end result would not be good for any of them.

Thankfully, the ex-queen was no fool. One did not keep one’s eggs in just one basket, especially in the precarious position that she had found herself in since her failed invasion of Canterlot. Months ago, she had supplanted one of the few remaining Lings loyal to her into the guard. One night, said Ling had managed to sneak themselves into the dungeons and switch places with her.

When Princess Twilight Sparkle and her blasted friends had turned Golly and Tirek into statues with the power of the Elements, Chrysalis had been miles away from Equestria’s capital.

It had been rough going for the next few weeks, the Changeling being forced, once again, into the Everfree. Those weeks turned to months as she waited for her deceit to be discovered, her gaze skyward in search of squadrons of golden-armored pegasi searching for her. Many nights she would lie awake in whatever hole she managed to find in that forest, fear and anger warring in her belly.

They had been so close. She had been so close. Equestria should have fallen, she should have been all powerful and feared as she had been.

Damn that child. Damn the centaur. Damn the elements and ponies and all the rest!

It would have been easy to languish in the Everfree, losing her mind as she had all that time after losing her hive. A lesser creature would have, but not her. As painful and utter humiliating as this defeat was, she was yet free. Freedom meant she could plan. Planning meant that there was a chance to get back everything she lost and so much more. So, so much more.

Love was a thing in short supply in this forest, even more so since her last stay here, but Chrysalis was able to navigate through it, dodging the deadly beasts, the cursed swamps, the blighted ruins and places of dark magic until she made her way to the closest town available. Ponyville; the home of the Bearers of Harmony themselves.

This was where everything would begin again. The place where she would claw her way from the muck to where she truly belonged.

Starving, weak, and weary, she made her way out of the treeline. Months ago, when she was a resident in the forest, she had made sure to thoroughly map the entire area around this town, looking for escape routes, hiding places, and places to attack. To her surprise, she came upon a cobblestone road that hadn’t been there before. It led up to a small hill that hadn’t been there before either, and seated upon said hill was a house..

Chrysalis took a few steps toward the home. She could sense that magic was heavy here, as if some great spell or work had been recently completed. Were she of right mind, just that fact would have made her keep a wide berth of the place, but as the winds changed she could smell it. There, somewhere in that odd house, was love. Love that she very desperately needed.

So, making sure to keep low to the ground and her eyes darting around to scan for any threats or traps, the ex-queen made her way up the path.

~_~_~_~_~_~

“--Now, again, if you need anything from me, please don’t hesitate to come to the castle, Anon. My door will always be open for you. I mean anything at all. Even if I’m not there, Spike or Starlight should be there and able to help.”

It had been an interesting few weeks for Anonymous. One minute, he had been sitting in his living room, just trying to relax after a long day of work, and the next he and his entire house were in an entirely different reality.

Things had been touch-and-go for a little while. A concerned pony had called the guard, and it ended with around two hundred heavily armed stallions surrounding the small hill that his house sat on, but thankfully things had turned out well, all things considered.

He had been taken up to this nation’s capital. Both he, his house, and the land it stood on was thoroughly examined by a lot of smart colorful little talking horses. Some of the tests he could have done without, but at the very least they were able to figure out he was safe to be in this reality, but not really much more. As of now, they were only able to guess why he was here. A spell gone wrong, a whim of a God, an issue with leylines, or just plain bad luck; such is the way of magic and fate.

It wasn’t all that bad being in a new world, all things considered. He was now free from all those loans he had taken out to fix up his home, which was a weight off his shoulders. The talking ponies hadn’t tried eating him like he thought they would when he first saw them as well. In fact, they were a remarkably kind and generous group of critters. After they had found out he wasn’t dangerous, they had taken him in with open hooves. Everything he had asked for and needed was given without question. Every pony that he had spoken to had been there to listen and be helpful in any way that they could, from the princesses to guards to the random ponies he met walking around the castle.

Not only had they given him the land where his house had ended up, they had connected his house to the local water lines and even their rudimentary electric system, free of charge. The local farmers had also come over to help repair any damages that had happened while coming here, again without any money passing hands. The farmers, the Apples, the Carrots, and the Flowers, had even seemed offended when he offered to pay them back. He didn’t know if all of this kindness was because of his unique position, or if ponies were like this to everyone they met. Whatever the case, he was supremely grateful.

Both and he and Twilight were making their way up the cobblestone path that led to his house. He was glad that it had made the trip along with his home; his granddad had put it in when he was little, and it would have been weird not to see it anymore. Just before they were about to step up onto the front porch, Twilight stopped.

“Well, thanks for all of your help today,” she said, looking up at him with a great big smile. “I hope I didn’t overwhelm you with all the questions.”

“You were fine,” Anon assured. “Whenever you have any more, just come and let me know. That or if you just want to poke around the house. When my grandpa was still around he liked to collect things, so there’s plenty of human stuff for you to look at.”

A look of glee flashed across the alicorn’s face. She attempted to hide her enthusiasm, not quite managing it.

“I will take you up on that soon. Not too soon though. Like I’ve been saying, I don’t want you to get overwhelmed. Please, take things at your own pace.”

“I will. Hey, would you like to come inside for something to drink?”

“Thank you, but not tonight,” Twilight said, stifling a yawn. “It’s late, and Spike gets grumpy if I’m not home before bedtime.”

Smiling, Anon knelt down and gave the little pony a hug. She was startled for a moment, but quickly returned it.

“Thanks for everything, Twilight. I mean it. Really. I don’t know what I’d do if you folks weren’t all so nice.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” Twilight replied with a smile. “Also, before you go in, some of the ponies in town got together and got you something we thought you’d like.”

Pulling back from the hug, Anon looked at the mare curiously. “Got me something? Aw, you guys really didn’t need to.”

“Think of it as a welcome to Ponyville gift from all of us to our newest resident.”

Anon felt a rush of emotion well up in his chest, and he had to blink away the beginnings of tears. All that they had done for him and they were still giving? He was going to have to work hard to pay them back.

“What’d you get me?” he asked, wiping his face with the back of his sleeve.

“You’ll see when you get inside,” Twilight told him. “I hope you don’t mind, but we let ourselves in and put it in the kitchen.”

“I don’t mind at all. You folks are always welcome here.”

With a smile and a wave, the princess turned and made her way back down the pathway. Anon stood there, making sure she got onto the dirt road that led back into town. Once she completely disappeared out of sight, he made his way around to the back of his house. He could have just walked through his home to get into his kitchen, but he was just so used to walking through the back. Besides, he didn’t want to track any dirt over his nice, clean floors.

He kicked his shoes off and put them in a bin he had by the door, then opened said door and stepped inside. He flicked on the lights and there, seated at his kitchen table, a pile of empty wrappers sitting in front of them, was a pony. He had seen a lot of ponies since finding himself in Equestria, and he had never seen one like this.

They were as big as one of the larger alicorns. Their horn was crooked and jagged, and they had a pair of insect-like wings. It didn’t look like they had any sort of fur, instead it looked like some sort of carapace. Strangely enough, they also seemed to have holes all over their body.

The pony, who had their muzzle deep into a box of what appeared like candies, froze as he stepped into his kitchen. One green serpent eye flicked toward him, wide with surprise. Anon closed the door behind him, confused but not too terribly concerned.

“Hello there?”

~_~_~_~_~_~

The faint trace of love that Chrysalis had felt was, of course, a box of hoofmade chocolates. There was never a noticeable amount of love in them, meaning one could need to eat a lot of them to get any sort of nourishment. Normally, they’d be beneath a queen like herself, but weeks without a decent food source meant that beggars couldn’t be choosers. She didn’t have the magic to unlock any of the doors, much to her chagrin. Thankfully, the back door had been unlocked.

She had been so famished that she had barely checked to see if there was anypony home, immediately going for the chocolates that she had found in a basket seated on the kitchen table. The queen ate like only the starving could, tearing through a box in a matter of minutes. She ate the next box just as quickly, along with the box after that. The love she was able to absorb, as little as it was, was also enough to bring her to tears. She had just about finished that third box when the kitchen light was flicked on.

It was when Chrysalis realized her mistake. In her eagerness to fill her belly, she had neglected to keep an eye out for the home’s owner. Said owner was currently staring at her, completely surprised and utterly defenseless.

As she stared back, she realized just how big the creature was. The thing must have been easily twice her size. It looked, for all the world, like a flat-faced minotaur, though a tad skinnier and wearing a ridiculous amount of clothing.

“Hello there?” the creature said, taking a half-step toward her. “Who might you be?”

Chrysalis couldn’t feel any hostility coming from the creature, but if it was actually a minotaur that could change at the flip of a coin. Such beasts were temperamental at best, and she was an intruder. She didn’t have the magic to bring it down, nor did she have the physical strength. Even with the chocolates she had just eaten, she didn’t know if she had it in her to run. Her mind raced, and she uttered the first thing that came to mind.

“I’m your… wife?”

The queen had lived a very long life that was spent scheming and plotting. She had been the ruin of dynasties and nations with just a few words and a disguise. She knew, at a glance, what would break even the most steadfast creatures. She was the architect of lies, with plans within plans; the smartest, most powerful, most devious Changeling to ever exist.

Never in her life had she uttered something so baffling stupid.

If she had heard one of her infiltrators try such a thing, they’d be reassigned to the hatchling pits to watch the grubs if they were lucky. It was just so… stupid. Unfathomably ridiculous.

As soon as she had processed her own words her shoulders sagged. She sat up in the overly large chair she was seated on, accepting whatever fate was now in store for her after that shameful display. She could only hope when the creature began ripping her apart it wouldn’t remember just what she had said.

She braced herself for a bout of uncontrollable rage. What she received, shockingly, was concern.

“My… wife?”

The creature pulled one of the chairs back and took a seat. It stared at her with a scrunched up fact, as if she were some great puzzle.

“I knew you ponies were friendly, but giving a guy his own wife?” he mumbled. “I thought I was getting a plate of cookies or something…”

For a good long while, Chrysalis could only stare at the creature with an open mouth. That was not supposed to work. In fact, she had taught her lings over and over and over again never to do something so stupid. As she struggled, feeling as if her world had been turned upside down, the creature leaned forward.

“So um,” he said, scratching his chin. “Twilight and the town set you up with me?”

Chrysalis forced herself to nod. “Yes. I am your wife now,” she said, trying not to wince.

The creature’s concern grew. It sat back in its chair.

“Miss, I don’t want to seem rude, but that’s a lot to drop on a guy as soon as he walks through the door,” it said, eyes narrowing. “This isn’t one of those weird things where you were forced to do this, right? I’m fine with weird cultures, and you ponies have been really great to me, but that might be a bridge too far.”

It was difficult to believe that there was a creature truly this gullible. Were she not able to read its emotions, the queen would have sworn this was a trap of some kind. Still, she wasn’t one to curse good luck.

“I can assure you that this was entirely my decision,” Chrysalis said, giving him her best smile. “Tell me, do you know what exactly I am?”

“A… pony?”

The Changeling narrowed her eyes slightly, and she fought the urge to express her distaste at the notion. “Yes. I am a… pony. moreover , I’m a very special pony, which is why I’m not surprised that you don’t know what I am. You see, I’m a very powerful…”

Her face scrunched up in thought. If she had no idea what this creature was, there was a good chance it didn’t know what she was. The fact that it hadn’t run screaming or tried attacking her the moment it had laid eyes upon her gave stock to that theory, so she decided to see how far its ignorance went.

“...I am a love pony. It is a very rare tribe. You see, love ponies travel all over the world to find somepony that will give them all the love that they require to rule the wo--” She cleared her throat. “--to marry and live happily ever after with.”

She may have laid it on a little too thick, or this critter wasn’t quite as dumb as she thought, because she could feel some suspicion mix in with its emotions.

“And how do you know that I’m your soulmate or whatever,” it said. “I just got here a few weeks ago. I mean, I wasn’t even living on this planet.”

“You underestimate the power of my tribe, creature,” Chrysalis said, pointing a hoof at him. “I used a very complex and powerful spell that told me that you were to be my husband.I came here with the help of Twilight Sparkle and the citizens of Ponyville, but I found you on my own.”

She narrowed her eyes to slits, doing her best to look upset.

“To be frank, I’m insulted that you’d doubt the abilities of my tribe.”

To her relief, the creature’s suspicion disappeared, replaced with even more worry.

“I don’t mean to be rude, miss,” he insisted. “It’s just… I mean, it’s strange. A lot to take in. You did break into my house.”

“For love.”

“But--”

“Love.”

He took a deep breath. His shoulders sagged. Chrysalis continued to glare at him, shocked at just how good her abilities of deceit were. No creature on the planet would have so tactfully navigated such a conversation. Truly, she was without equal.

“I am going to be your wife,” she said, in a tone that she prayed would broach no argument. “In fact, as far as you are concerned, I am your wife, and as your wife I’d like you to come here and give me some love.”

“Give love?” the creature asked, clearly exasperated.

“Yes. Love ponies feed on positive emotions like love. That’s why love is in our name. You might not feel love for me yet, but I should still get something from a hug.”

Frustration mixed with the confusion and worry welling around in the creature as it stared at her. Chrysalis didn’t break eye contact, beckoning it with a wave of the hoof. Slowly, it rose up. They both stared at each other in silence for what felt like minutes before, slowly, the creature lifted up its arms, leaned down, and wrapped them around her. As it began awkwardly patting her back, Chrysalis could feel it.

It wasn’t love, more like the beginning of a positive emotion that didn’t know what it was going to be yet. Letting out a coo, the queen wrapped her hooves around the creature’s waist as best as she could, gave its neck a nuzzle, and began to feed. After so long of being hungry and weak, feeling real emotion filled her with strength. Her grip around it tightened the more emotion she drained from it, making sure it wouldn’t be able to get away.

While she could have drained the thing until it was nothing more than a husk, Chrysalis decided to control herself. Draining it until it was unconscious would be more than adequate. After that, she’d restrain it, dominate its mind, and she’d have herself a servant, a source of love, and a temporary place to stay.

“There we are… just let me have it all…”

She drank long and deep from the well of the creature’s emotions, keeping an eye out for the well to shrink so as not to overly harm it. She waited, and waited, her eyebrows slowly furrowing.

The creature just continued patting her back. It didn’t seem troubled, or overly burdened. In fact, it didn’t even seem to notice what she was doing. She drained enough emotion to kill a pony, then enough to knock a fully grown dragon to its knees. She drank until, incredibly, she couldn’t drink anymore.

Changeling queens weren’t supposed to get full. She had never even come close to it, not even after feeding on the love powerhouse that had been Shining Armor. She broke the hug abruptly, staring at the creature as if it had grown a second head.

It blinked. “What?”