Bug Wife

“Come on, Anon. Ya gotta jump higher! We’re almost done fer the day!”

Anon wheezed, sweat pouring from his face. He didn’t know where the Apples had gotten a bunny suit that was his size, nor did he really know the reason why they had gotten him to wear it. He had tried asking them all day, but only received vague answers or just plain gibberish from Granny Smith. What he did know was that he had been wearing this outfit once an hour for around fifteen minutes so he could jump over watering pails. Again, he wasn’t told why he was jumping over pails with Granny or Applebloom, but from how the ponies acted this was a critical part of the Zap Apple harvest.

All this jumping hadn’t been too bad the first day; it had been a nice break from lugging baskets of the electric fruit into the barn. By the third day he had started feeling it, and today he was in continuous pain. His knees, hips, ankles, and for some reason his teeth hurt. He must have sweat ten gallons into this fuzzy outfit. One bad jump and he felt like he’d be down for the count. Still, this wasn’t quite as bad as harvesting the Zap Apples themselves.

The fruit appeared in the apple trees with a bolt of lightning. This made it-- for some stupid magical reason-- pretty dangerous to handle the apples. He had been told touching them with bare skin would give a pegasus a nasty shock. Pegasi had a good deal of resistance to lightning; he did not. This meant wearing rubber gloves and a thick rubber apron. The apples were so volatile that they just couldn’t dump a load of them into a wagon and haul it to the barn either. They needed to be carried in baskets. Where the trees were wasn’t that far from the barn, but when you had to walk back and forth holding a heavy, dangerous thing it quickly became tiring.

There was also something about being nice to bees, and painting polka dots on walls, and yelling at jars, but he did his best not to focus on any of that. All he could do, at the moment, was breathe, make sure he landed without snapping an ankle, and make it over the next watering pail.

“Annnnnnnd… That’s it. I think we’re done fer today!”

Granny Smith, who had been hopping in her own bunny suit since this morning, stopped. Applebloom stopped as well, and Anon nearly found himself jumping on top of the filly with one last sluggish leap. The ancient mare didn’t look any worse for wear. Applebloom looked somewhat winded. He, meanwhile, could barely keep his feet.

“Pretty good work today, everypony,” Granny said with a smile. “Another day o’ two and we’ll have all the apples harvested. Then we can get to cookin’ and bottlin’!”

She hobbled over, giving Anon a gentle pat on his thigh.

“Why dontcha hand over that there outfit, Anon? I’ll give it a wash for the mornin’.”

Nodding, Anon sat down heavily onto the ground. He unzipped his suit, and pulled the top half down his torso then stopped. He looked down at himself, frowning.

“...Granny?”

“Yes hon?”

“I don’t think I can get this suit off,” he admitted. “I’m also pretty sure I won’t be able to stand up.”

Granny Smith chuckled. “I guess we worked ya a lil’ too hard. Applejack! Get yer kiester over ‘ere and help the greenhorn!”

All the Apples had a good natured laugh at his expense as he was helped out of the bunny outfit. Applebloom had gotten him some water to guzzle down while Applejack let him know he wouldn’t need to be doing any hopping tomorrow. It was such good news that it gave his legs the strength to start working again. Even so, Caramel and Big Mac offered to help him home. This meant he found himself on Caramel’s back, his feet dragging against the ground as he walked. Anon had been carried by a friend or two in his life. It was so much weirder in this case.

“You sure you’re alright there, Caramel?”

“Oh sure! You ain’t that heavy, Anon. If’n I do get tired I’ll just get ya on Mac’s back.”

“Yep,” the big red stallion said with a nod as the two made their way down the path into town. “Ya should’ve let us know you were hurtin’ earlier, Anon. We would’ve eased up.”

“It’s not that bad,” Anon replied. “I just had a leg cramp is all. If you would have--”

He tried to turn to talk to the stallion. The movement shifted him on Caramel’s back, and he very nearly ended up falling off the colt. He flailed for a second, and very nearly grabbed Caramel’s mane, but managed to stop himself just in time.

“--I would have been alright in a few minutes,” he said, not knowing what to do with his hands. In the end, he just placed them on his thighs, hoping that Caramel didn’t decide to make any quick and sudden movements.

“You can take the day off if you need it,” Big Mac offered. “Most o’ the work is done.”

“Ah, I’ll be alright after a few bananas and a good night’s sleep,” Anon told the stallion. “Just make sure I don’t get in that bunny suit anymore.”

Both stallions chuckled.

“The newbies always hate that job,” Caramel remarked. “Granny says it builds character though.”

“...Does it?”

Big Mac snorted, and nothing more needed to be said.

It was very weird and embarrassing to ride a coworker and friend’s back like he was a horse at some crappy petting zoo, and only got worse the longer Anon did it. Thankfully, there weren’t many ponies milling around town as they passed through. Some foals did have a good laugh at his expense, which made him cringe. No doubt the little tikes would let his wife know the next time they came to the house to get some help with their homework.

A smile came to his face. His wife. The most beautiful creature that he had ever known; the person that made him want to get up in the morning. If he didn’t have her, he knew deep down there was no way in heck that he’d still be working himself to death at this farm. He’d probably be living with a nice little stipend given to him by the princesses, sitting around his house like some fat slob without a care in the world.

His pap always said finding a good woman was like finding a pair of oars in your boat while you were floating down a river. He had always shook his head when the old man had said that, but now he sort of got it. With Chrysalis, he did have a goal; he wanted to make her happy. Well, he wanted a lot of things, but all of them revolved around her happiness. He’d work Zap Apple season all year round to do it too.

By the time they got to the path toward his home, Anon’s legs were rested enough that he was able to get off Caramel and walk. He was still wobbly, and his knees and hips ached, but there was no way he was going to let Chrysalis see him being carried like a sack of potatoes if he could help it. She already thought he was working too hard on the farm.When the kids eventually told her what they saw today she’d probably be upset. If she saw him being carried up onto the front porch she might try to fight Applejack.

He chuckled at the thought, turning toward the stallions. “Thanks for the help, boys. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You don’t gotta come tomorrow.”

“I will. See you bright an’ early.”

Getting up the steps was a good deal harder than he would have liked to admit, but Anon forced himself up each step. Giving both stallions, who looked pretty concerned, a wave, he opened his front door and stepped inside.

The smell of cooked food filled his nostrils. The warmth of the house contrasted with the chill outside. The light in the kitchen was on, but most of the house was dark.

Anon let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. For a second, he allowed himself to wallow in his aches and exhaustion. It really did feel like he had just gotten through an all day ass beating. He felt so tired that he could have melted into the floor.

“Anonymous?” a voice called from somewhere in the house.

Some of the exhaustion went away, and he found himself smiling. “I’m here,” he replied.

He heard someone rushing through the house. A second later, Chrysalis walked in. She was wearing sweatpants and an undershirt, with her hair tied up into a messy bun. No bra either, which he found himself appreciating as she marched right up to him. She looked annoyed, but there was concern in her eyes as she examined him.

“Are you alright?” she asked, reaching up to touch his cheek.

The sound of her voice sent a pleasant tingle down his body. It was sappy, but he really had missed her while he had been working.

“I’m as right as rain, honey,” he said with a smile.

Chrysalis clicked her tongue. “Well, you don’t look it,” she replied.

Her eyes narrowed, and she looked as if she were going to say more, but instead she let out a little sigh. She reached down, grabbing his filthy hand.

“Do you need help getting up the stairs?” she asked.

He looked at the stairs. There was twenty of them by his counting. He had barely managed the three to get up onto his porch.

“I would appreciate it,” he replied.

Shaking her head, Chrysalis snapped her fingers. A green magical glow surrounded his legs. He felt lighter, and far more stable as he shifted from one leg to the other. Still holding his hand, the love bug began to lead him toward the stairs.

“I really don’t enjoy you coming home half dead,” she said over her shoulder. “The Apples are working you to death.”

“I’m fine, sweetie. I’m just a tad worn out is all.”

“You are not just worn out.”

“I am. Honest.”

“If I were to stop my spell and let you move under your own power, would you fall down these steps right now?”

Anon made a face. He reached up to pinch Chrysalis’s butt with his free hand. The love horse’s grip on the other tightened.

“So, how was your day? Did the kids come around again? How did they do with that spelling test?”

Chrysalis paused mid-step. Though he couldn’t see it, he knew a smile broke out across her face.

“They all did very well. Not a one got below a B. They told me Mrs. Cheerilee was so happy with them all that they’re going to have a pizza party this Friday. They insisted that I come to the school house to join.”

“You should. You did as much as the teacher helping them I bet. You deserve some pizza.”

“I think I’ll wait and see if Mrs. Cheerilee will come to the house with an invitation. Children are children, and I don’t want to assume just on their word.”

Once they both reached the top of the stairs she turned to look at him.

“And don’t think you poorly attempting to change the subject means I’m just going to let your mistreatment slide.”

“It’s not mistreatment,” Anon insisted. “I’m not doing anymore or any less than anyone else there.”

“They are earth ponies that have farmed their entire lives. You are not. You trying to match what they do is going to end up in injury,” Chrysalis said, poking his chest with a finger. “If you think I’m upset now, just wait until I hear that you’re in the horsepital because you wouldn’t listen to your dear wife.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but stopped himself at the last moment. He knew Chrysalis could argue circles around him if she wanted to. Trying would just get them both upset. Chrysalis had never gotten so mad she didn’t make dinner for him, but he didn’t want to risk coming home to nothing either. Going without her cooking might be worse than these work days.

“You’re right, dear,” he said, looking at the down carpet with what he hoped was an understanding expression. “Its just a few more days though, then it’ll go back to normal.”

He felt a hand touch his chin, forcing him to look up. Chrysalis’ expression softened, but she still looked less than happy.

“I do not like worrying about you,” she said, with a tone that made him feel like he had been punched in the stomach.

It nearly made him break, hearing just a hint of pain in her voice. He knew she missed him when he was gone, and just how much she didn’t like him coming home like he had been. He nearly told her that he could have the day off tomorrow, and that they could just relax together.

But he couldn’t. This was for her. He just had to stick it out. Had to.

He reached up, grabbing her shoulders. Giving them a gentle squeeze, he pulled the love horse into a hug. Her warmth and the smell of her hair as it tickled his face hit him like a train. She was so much better than he deserved. So smart, so beautiful, so kind and thoughtful. Just the most perfect creature that he had ever known, and would probably ever know.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I love you so much.”

He hugged her as tight as his aching arms could manage, hoping she could feel his love. Chrysalis twitched as he held her. She said something under her breath, hugging him back as he tried his best not to cry like some little kid.

“I love you too,” she replied, reaching down to give his butt a pinch. “Now, enough of this blathering. Let’s get you cleaned up and fed. I made us burgers.”

~_~_~_~_~_~

The gardens of Canterlot were silent as Princess Twilight Sparkle walked through them. They were silent, but they were anything but empty. Guards walked the grounds and patrolled the skies. Golden armor and glittering spears were everywhere, and for good reason. Along with the members of the guard were the black chitin garbed Changeling honor guard. They carried no weapons, but Twilight knew with their ability to transform there was no need.

There must have been over a hundred guards in the garden at that moment, and many more stationed at or around the castle. Everypony was on edge, and had been for the last two days. Twilight herself was no exception, but she did her best to mask her worry. A princess had to be confident after all.

Beside the alicorn walked King Thorax. As majestic as the Changeling was, he did a much poorer job of appearing calm and collected than her. Twilight could see his tension as he walked, his jaw clenched. She could clearly see fear in his purple eyes as well.

Without a second thought, she laid a wing over him. “You don’t need to be here for this, Thorax,” she said, slowing her pace to a halt.

Thorax looked down at her, then down the path they were both taking. He visibly swallowed.

“I…” he began. “I need to be here for this. In case something happens.”

“There are enough guards here that she shouldn’t be a problem.”

“You don’t know that.”

Twilight didn’t, but nevertheless she smiled. “Yes I do, and even if that isn’t the case she might not attack us outright. Remember what Starlight said right after she destroyed your hive in the Badlands. She almost accepted the offer of friendship.”

“That could have just been a way for her to get Starlight to put her guard down, Twilight.”

“Maybe, but we can’t just keep her the way she is. Tirek is far too dangerous to be freed yet, but Cozy is acclimated very well with Pinkie’s parents at the rock farm.” Twilight’s face scrunched up for a moment. “She might not be exactly where we want her to be, but she’s making progress, step by step. If we were able to calm her down and listen to us, and she saw how things were at your new hive now, she might become a totally different ling.”

Thorax took a deep breath. Twilight watched as he stood a little straighter. “You’re right, Princess,” he said. “For all the bad that she’s done, we can’t keep her as a statue forever. We have to at least try to get her to see reason.”

The Changeling shook his head slowly.

“It’ll be hard, but we just might be able to do it.”

With another deep breath, the king began walking purposefully down the path, his chest puffed out in determination. Once he was a few feet away, Twilight released the breath she had been holding. Tucking her wing back against her side, she followed after him.

The two walked for a few more minutes before coming upon a clearing, where two statues sat. They had once been two of the most dangerous foes that Equestria had ever faced. One was the King of Calamities, the Eater of Spells, Tirek. The other was Mistress of a Thousand Faces, The Head of the Swarm, and the Ex-Queen of the Changelings, Chrysalis. Both villains were in the same position as they had been before they had been turned to stone. Tirek, shying back in terror, while Chrysalis was midleap, her fangs bared, fury on her face.

Thorax faltered for a moment seeing his old queen. Twilight watched as his wings buzzed in what she had learned was a Changeling display of anxiety. She quickly trotted up so that she was once again beside him. Both of them said nothing, just staring at the statues, readying themselves for what was about to lie ahead.

“Would you like to help me release her?” Twilight quietly asked.

Thorax jumped, pulled from some quiet inner thought. His head snapped toward Twilight, and he cleared his throat.

“I… um… yes. Yes. I’ll help you,” he said. “Will we need to get out of the way or incapacitate her when she’s back to normal?”

“The transformation process is extremely disorientating from what Discord told me,” Twilight replied. “She shouldn’t be in any state to try to hurt anypony at least for a few minutes. If that isn’t the case, well…”

She gestured toward the guards, who, as one, pointed their spears at the ex-queen.

That seemed to calm the king down somewhat. He took a few more deep breaths, then nodded his head. He closed his head, and his antlers began to glow. Twilight also channeled magic through her horn. Their magical auras expanded, then meshed together. Without words, they focused the power, manifesting their wills into the correct spell, which they launched at Chrysalis.

There was a bright flash of light that forced the guards to turn their heads. A thunderous crack filled the air, then another, then many more. As the light died away, the stone crumbled away from Chrysalis, who faceplanted into the ground so hard that her horn stuck into the dirt at least six inches. The ex-queen let out a shriek of surprise, her hooves flailing, and her wings buzzing as she found herself once again conscious.

It was hard not to chuckle at the sight, but Twilight contained herself. This was a delicate, serious situation. Laughing would probably be a bad idea. That being said, she was absolutely going to tell the girls when she got back to Ponyville.

She cleared her throat, taking a few steps forward. “Chrysalis? Are you alright?”

The ex-queen paid her no mind. She was mumbling to herself, trying to pull her horn from the ground.

Thorax stepped forward. “Chrysalis,” he said, then paused.

A look of confusion came to the king’s face as he looked at the ex-queen. Before Twilight could ask him what was wrong, he hurried over to her.

“Thorax, what are you--”

The king poked Chrysalis with one of his antlers. The ex-queen disappeared into a ball of green flame. She let out a yelp at the unexpected contact, falling backward. What fell onto her rump wasn’t Chrysalis. It was a Changeling, black and covered with holes; just like they all had been during the siege of Canterlot. The ling rubbed its gnarled, twisted horn, mumbling.

A confused silence flooded the gardens. Ponies looked at each other, unsure just what had happened. Thorax, now pale, turned to the princess.

“That wasn’t Chrysalis. You didn’t capture her, Twilight. She’s free.”

~_~_~_~_~_~

Today had been a quiet day. Chrysalis hadn’t gone to the market for shopping, and Mrs. Cake had taken a day trip to Canterlot with her husband and children, meaning she hadn’t had a cooking session either. That fool Twilight Sparkle also hadn’t invited her to the castle to learn more about her “culture”. Not even the children would be coming over, as they had a long weekend. Other than some light cleaning, and prepping dinner, the queen hadn’t done all that much.

It would have been a perfect day to dig out more of her hive, or perhaps search the Everfree for an ideal route for when she would march on Canterlot, ahead of an unbeatable army. No matter how hard she tried however, she just couldn’t find the drive to do so.

It was the last day of Zap Apple season. She had been told it would be an easy day with Anonymous and the Apples just jarring and storing the jam. Anon had assured her that he would be home before lunch in fact. While that proclamation had been said last night with complete sincerity and confidence from her husband, lunch had come and gone, and he still wasn’t here.

To say that she was less than pleased was the understatement of the century.

She had humored him working himself to the bone for days on end. She hadn’t said anything to the Apples about having to nearly carry Anon up to their bedroom every night. She had forgiven his aches and pains, and the exhaustion that had hung over him like a thick blanket. There had never been a more patient, kind, and understanding queen as her; to humor these pitiful ponies by allowing them to use her husband as if he were a wagon or some other ridiculous pony device.
That patience had reached its end thirty minutes ago.

She missed her husband. She hated seeing him hurt himself because he was too kind to say no. She wanted to snuggle with him on the couch, or in their bed. She wanted him in the kitchen helping her cook, or folding their laundry together, or going into town to get ice cream at Sugarcube Corner.

They hadn’t even been intimate since this blasted harvest started. He had been so exhausted these last few days that they hadn’t been able to rut, and after getting used to going multiple times a day to this dry spell was beyond taxing.

She was done. Done. No more mister nice queen. She was going to get up, march over to Sweet Apple Acres, and she was going to give them a piece of her mind. They wouldn’t so much as look her way when she went to the market after she was done with them! In fact, she was going to insist that Anonymous find another job! Somewhere where the employers were a bit more mindful about their workers’ lives!

Once she had done that, she was going to drag her husband home and see what fate befell those who didn’t regularly please their queen. She was going to do things to him that would utterly ruin him for any other species, and she was going to do it again and again and again. After she was done with him, working from sunup to sundown would be a trifling thing!

With a snarl, she pushed herself to her feet. Just as she was about to march toward the door, she heard the doorknob turn. The door opened, revealing her husband, holding a big brown bag in his arm.

Seeing her, he smiled. “Hey ho--”

“Where were you!?” Chrysalis demanded.

Anonymous jumped, obviously confused by her aggression. “I, um, well, I decided to go to the market to get us something to eat for tonight. To celebrate the harvest being over.” He showed her the bag. “I was going to make spaghetti. Unless you wanted something else?”

The queen’s eyes narrowed. She could feel a nervousness inside of him, one that he was desperately trying to keep hidden. The thought of him being nervous because the Apples had convinced him to work even more hours immediately came to mind.

“You did something else?” she said, making it a statement and not a question.

To her surprise, Anon’s face went flush. He looked down, then gave her a little nod. Not looking her in the eye, he made his way toward the kitchen. Chrysalis was right behind him, just ready to hear the news that he was going to have to go into work tomorrow. Oh, the things she was going to do to that old fart Granny Smith!

Anon placed the bag into the kitchen table, and he turned back toward her. “A few weeks before harvest, Mac told me that the Apples like to give the workers a nice bonus at the end along with a few jars, which I have in the bag there too. I was, um…”

He shifted from left to right, scratching his face. Chrysalis could feel the nervousness in him build. Slowly, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box. Staring at it for a moment or two, he offered it to her.

The queen looked at him, then the box, her anger giving way to confusion as she took the box and opened it. Inside, surrounded by fine velvet cloth, was a golden ring. Her eyes widened at the sight of it.

“I had Applebloom measure your ring finger. That, uh, math thing where the kids were measuring your hands was actually her idea, so you wouldn’t catch on. It still might be a little off, but the jeweler said we can just come back and they can fix it.”

Chrysalis couldn’t even begin to form words. She just continued to stare at the ring.

“I didn’t know what kind of ring you would have wanted, but the mare that worked there said people really liked this kind,” Anon continued, rubbing his hands together. “I’m sorry if it’s a little plain, but with how much you run around I thought you wouldn’t want any gems or anything that might--”

“Anon… what is this?”

The hyoo-man did an anxious little shuffle. “I know you said we were destined to be together, and we already tell folks that we’re married, so I thought… well, I thought we’d make it official. Getting married I mean.”

Chrysalis wanted to look at him as he spoke, but she still couldn’t take her eyes off the ring. She had seen wedding rings before, many much nicer than the one in her hands, but this one was different. This one was for her. Not a disguised version of her, not while she was mind controlling a pony and they thought she was somepony else. It was for her.

Slowly, carefully, she took the ring out of the box and slipped it onto her ring finger. It fit perfectly.

To think she was tricked by a group of foals for the measurements. She had been so busy checking the spelling for a homework assignment she hadn’t even questioned when they asked to see her hand. As a Changeling Queen, she could admire such deviousness. They would need to be rewarded for it next time they were over.

“I actually saw Mayor Mare right after I got the ring,” Anon continued, oblivious as she admired her ring. “She said it’d be perfectly fine if we came around to get it done. I was thinking we could have a couple people to witness while we do it. It doesn’t need to be a big deal--”

The queen grabbed him by the collar, pulling him into a kiss, shutting him up. Anon tensed for a moment, his anxiety flaring for a moment, then disappearing all together. Relief and, more importantly, love replaced it. Chrysalis allowed herself to bathe in the emotion for several seconds as her tongue tickled his tonsils, then broke the kiss.

“As I said months ago, you are mine. Ring or no ring,” she said, giving him a measured look. “That being said, this is…”

To her shock, she found herself at a loss for words. She placed her hands on his shoulders, just looking up at his handsome face.

“This is a delight. It means more to me than I even realize, I think.”

A great big smile broke across Anon’s face. “Really. Good! Does that mean you wanna get married for real then?”

The queen couldn’t help but giggle at his enthusiasm. “I would like that. Very much.”

Anon was about to say more, but she brought a finger to his lips.

“But, for now, there is something else I would like very much from you, my darling dear.”

The hyoo-man blinked. “What’s that, dear?”

Chrysalis snapped her fingers. His pants and underwear disappeared off his body, teleported upstairs unto their laundry bin to be cleaned later. Anon yelped, looking down at himself in surprise. She only let him gawk for a moment before placing a hand under his chin and forcing him to look back up at him.

“A child.”