Hey babe, quick favor.

by Monochromatic

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Romance, Equestria Girls, Slice of Life
Length: 1163

If Rarity knew one thing about dating Rainbow Dash, it was that Rainbow would do so many stupid things in the name of love.

If there was one thing about dating Rainbow Dash that Rarity knew, it was this: Rainbow Dash would get herself into situations–so many situations–and half of them would be to honor your love. There is nothing you can do about it, but take it in stride, and love her regardless.

Which Rarity did. Just as much as she sometimes wanted to kill her.

She wouldn’t have it any other way.

Published 2025-01-04 02:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2025-01-04 02:20:04 UTC

but, rares, babe, i did it for you

There was no one Rarity loved in the whole world more than Rainbow Dash.

Granted, she was only a high schooler, and she’d hardly met most of the whole world, but she was fairly certain that, out of the many people she’d met, which were many, she loved no one more than she loved Rainbow Dash.

On a separate note, Rainbow Dash was a very interesting person who—dear reader, I mean this in the best of ways—was prone to getting into situations. It was her nature, who she was, that if your name was Rainbow “Danger” Dash, then situations followed you like a toaster follows a zebra.

You might think that makes no sense.

You’d be exactly right. It makes zero sense, just like the kind of situations Rainbow ended up in. But ended up in them she did, and since Rarity loved Rainbow Dash—was her ride and die, if you will—then she had to take them in stride, come hell or high water.

Anyway, to make a long introduction short, dear reader, and taking all of this into account, if Rarity loved Rainbow Dash more than anything in the whole world, there was no text message that terrified her in the whole wide world like the ones that started with the following four words:

Hey, babe, quick favor.

The text message was clear in her mind’s eye.

x Hey, babe, quick favor, can you come to the hallway outside the library asap, pls?

Rarity drummed her long fingernails against her desk, surreptitiously glancing at the phone on her lap. Her two messages asking her girlfriend for a follow-up had gone read but unanswered save for a ‘prayer’ and ‘heart’ emoji, and her five subsequent messages explaining Mr. Loopflint had given someone else the hallway pass had gone unread.

“Did she say what’s wrong?” Fluttershy whispered, diligently pretending to be hard at work solving the equations in her notebook.

“No,” Rarity whispered back, tucking her phone under her leg and writing down a string of numbers. “She’ll just have to wait until class is done.”

Bzzt!

Finally!

Waiting until the teacher was distracted helping a student, she took her phone out again and clicked on the message notification.

x rares, it pleaded, if i get detention again, my parents are gunna kill me

“Oh, my God,” Rarity whispered, and then again, more pronounced, when another message popped up.

x you gotta promise you won’t be pissed, tho. ok?

Another beat.

x rares????

“Okay,” she whispered to herself. “All right.”

Quick as she could, and as much as her nails would allow her typing to be legible, she typed back.

<> im wprking onit, rainbiw

x rainbiw…

<> you knoe what, nevbermind

x wait, rares, wait, sorry, please, your typos are hot, babe, also i’m running outta air in here

<> WHAT DOYU MEAN??

After an entire minute without a reply, Rarity did what one had to do when one’s partner was in trouble: figure it out.

As it would turn out, figuring out would involve convincing the teacher of something that, for the sake of Rarity’s dignity vis a vis you, dear reader, is better left unsaid. I’ll leave it to your surely wild imagination, which I’m sure is as incontinent as--

I’ve said too much.

When she stepped into the empty hallway a few moments later, clutching the hall pass she’d just humiliated herself over for, she was confused to find the place completely empty. Was this a prank? Surely not. She’d have to kill Rainbow Dash, which she didn’t particularly want to do considering she loved her.

“Rainbow?” she whisper-shouted, stepping into the hallway. “Rainbow?!”

“Rarity?”

Rarity froze. The world stopped. Time stopped. Everything stopped, and yet somehow she found the willpower to turn around and stare at the locker where she could have sworn she heard—but surely not, surely not, please, please surely not—Rainbow’s voice coming from.

“...Rainbow?”

“Rarity!” called out a voice from within the godforsaken locker. “Oh, man, thank [APPALLING EXPLETIVE] you’re here! I was worried I was going to die!”

“Rainbow,” Rarity asked the love of her life, “please tell me you’re not—”

“I got stuck in the locker!” Rainbow finished, the locker door shaking as she spoke. “I can’t open it from the inside! Hurry!”

“Oh, my God,” Rarity whispered. And then again as she rushed to the locker, and again as she fumbled with the handle and got it open, and again, angered, at the sight of her apparently very flexible girlfriend somehow—somehow—contorted inside the locker like the world’s dumbest origami.

“Babe!” Rainbow explained, thrilled.

“Rainbow,” Rarity replied, “what, and I do mean what, the [UNLADYLIKE BUT WARRANTED EXPLETIVE]?”

“I can explain!” Rainbow exclaimed, contorting herself out of the locker.

“Really? I can’t wait to hear it.”

This was a lie.

Anyway.

“I was just—!” Rainbow stretched her limbs, attractively flexing her muscles, but Rarity was determined not to swoon over right then. “Man, that hurt. Anyway, look, I was—I did this for you!”

Rarity blinked. “For me?” she asked, calmly, and then uncalmly, “FOR ME?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Rainbow nodded in earnest, taking Rarity’s hand in hers. “See, ‘cause I was thinking I’d hide in your locker one day—”

“This isn’t my locker.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, like if Rarity were the silly one of the two. “Yeaaaah, duh! I was testing on an empty locker, Rares! What, you think I’m dumb enough to try yours first? Babe.”

“How could I have thought such a thing.”

“It’s cool,” Rainbow said with a wink before continuing. “Anyway, like I was saying, I was gonna get into your locker right before math class, ‘cause you hate that crap, and then when you opened it to get books you’d hate, you’d get me! The thing you love,” she reasserted. “And then I’d be like—” Before Rarity’s very eyes, Rainbow cleared her throat, and with a smoulder more smouldering than it had any right to be, said in a low voice, “I’m the only book you need to check out, babe.”

Rarity stared at her. Rainbow stared back.

“Rainbow.”

“What? You like it?” Rainbow asked, excited like the puppy she always was. “It’s romantic, right? You think it’s hot? You’d have melted and stuff. You’d like it?”

And, do you know what Rarity said, dear reader?

“Yes, I would have liked it,” Rarity replied, horrified that she wasn’t lying. “Oh, God.”

Author's Note

For the lovely Pege, done as part of The Enchanted Library secret Santa art exchange <3

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