The Stone Ones

Pain

Now, CloudSkipper was no stranger to pain, in his three years of being a guard he had broken two ribs, a foreleg and his jaw, not to mention all of the cuts and bruises that he had received while on the job. The pain he was experiencing at the moment though was like nothing he had ever experienced. It was a bone deep, searing pain that could kill a weaker stallion. It was the type of pain that if it was a scary story, you wouldn’t be able to tell it to foals.

That was all Cloud could feel as he slugged into his bed with a groan. He and the others had been run ragged non-stop for a week and a half. Sure the weightlifting wasn’t that bad, but did they have to carry each other 20 miles on their hind legs? Or do push-ups until they couldn’t move? Or be chased by those packs of timber wolves?

Cloud thought not

At least they only got up at 6 in the morning instead of what they had gotten up during normal basic….Too bad he couldn’t move to enjoy it. At least he could get some well-deserved slee-

“Whatcha doing Skippy?”

Or he was going to get harassed by a certain mare. For some reason NightWing didn’t feel the fatigue that most of the others felt, to everyone’s surprise. Her stamina being the result of her fitness, or because it was solely that fact that NightWing was just being NightWing, Cloud couldn’t guess; all he wanted her to do was go away.

“gergnev” Cloud muttered in his pillow, hoping that that would show how much he didn’t want to talk to her.

“COOOOMMMMMEEEEE OOOOONNNNNN SKKKKKKIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYY!” NightWing moaned, poking Cloud, each poke sending jolts of pain through his poor body. All of the other recruits looked over to Cloud and Wing, some of them chuckled and some of them looked on angrily, many of them wanted to get some sleep, Gilda was among the latter.

“Shut up you two!” She snarled, too tired to raise her head from her bed.

Wing looked over to the griffin, a small pout on her face. “Why? We have the day off tomorrow. Let’s dooooo something. Come on Gils, let’s talk about something.” The bat mare trotted over to her and sat her rump right down next to Gilda’s bed, making the griffin groan. What made it worse was some of the others were now coming over too.

“Get away from me pony.” She snarled again, weakly swiping a claw at her, the batmare just simply dodged the slow, half-hearted attack. Gilda had a dreading sense that she wasn’t going to left alone until she met Night’s demands… Or killed her, but she was too tired to do that.

“Fine!” Gilda said trying to calm herself, sitting up. “What do you want to talk about?” NightWing looked thoughtful, tapping a hoof to her chin.

“hmmmmm.” She said. “How about the changeling that lives here, she seems nice.” That remark turned the barracks into a hotbed of discussion, much to the dismay of folks that wanted to get some sleep.

“She’s a monster!”

“She tried to take over Canterlot!”

“She hurt the princess!”

“MARSHMALLOWS!”

All of the discussion stopped and everyone looked at the pony who said that, a scrawny stallion that shrank under the group’s gaze.

“Righttttt, let’s get back to the conversation!” NightWing said, bouncing in place. “Sure she’s a little…. Forward…”

“She keeps trying to seduce us!” A random pony yelled, murmers of ponies and even griffins agreeing.

“She is a changeling; she needs love to survive…” NightWing argued. “And look at all of the others that live with Forge! He even has a diamond dog that cooks for us!”

“Sweet Celestia, NightWing” Cloud said, deciding to join the conversation “Call the Captain by his full title!” Looking nervously around he added, “He hears…”

“Damn right he hears.”

All of the ponies/griffins jumped, Forge was right in the middle of all of them, with an amused look on his face. All of them saluted and rushed back to their bunks, terrified, how had the big human done that? Forge looked around, smile still on his face.

“Alright NightWing, Gilda, you two got tonight’s rounds. You, marshmallow guy, have kitchen duty for the next week for being fucking weird. The rest of you get some sleep, you’re lugging stones up Dragon Mountain in the morning!” Forge spun around and walked back to the forge Gilda and NightWing following, Forge smiling at groans that the company were emitting….

In probably one of the oddest sit downs in Equestria’s history, two ponies, a changeling, and a diamond dog were sitting in the mess hall, all of them drinking tea.(insert witty joke here) What might have been odder was that one of the laziest ponies in Ponyville, Vinyl, was actually working on something quite diligently.

Chrissy winked at a group of soldiers that had just come in and looked at what the DJ was writing. “What’s that, Vinyl?” she asked the red-eyed mare.

Vinyl finished her sentence on the paper and looked up, smiling. “This Chrissy” She said, waving it at the queen’s face “Is how I’m going to be able to afford those new Dr. Hay wubs!”

Soft Paws snatched it out of the air and read it over, a blush creeping up her face. “This many mares already paid?” She asked. Chrissy rolled her eyes and used her magic to take the paper out of the diamond dog’s hands. When she read it over she laughed.

“Really? You’re getting mares to pay you to sleep with Forge?” She chuckled as she read down the already long list and saw Octavia’s name. “How much is it?”

“10 bits, I’ve already got payments from most of ‘em.” Octavia would have told Vinyl that it was wrong to do something like this by now, but since she was one of the ponies doing it she wisely kept silent.

The ladies fell into a comfortable silence until another group of soldiers came in. Chrysalis got up and sauntered past them, her tail tickling the chin of one of the guards as she walked into the kitchen and got herself another cup of tea.

As she sat back down she noticed the other girl’s looks. “What?” She asked them.

Octavia cleared her throat. “Why do you do that Chrissy?” the Changeling smiled.

“Just having a little fun with them.” She emphasized that with waving her flank at the flustered guards. The group giggled as Vinyl noticed that somewhere in the conversation that Soft Paws had disappeared. Before she could mention it Soft Paws quietly padded back in, her head down with a red face. In her paws she held a small bag.

Sitting back down and looking everywhere but the mares she handed the bag to Vinyl. “When can I get scheduled in?” She asked, shyly motioning to the paper, gaining a good laugh from the others.

“Alright fillies, now it’s time for weapon’s training.” Forge said, walking down the rows of soldiers. “Take everything you thought you knew about swordsmanship and toss it out the window.”

“SIR YES SIR!”

“Shining Armor, Steel Wing, get your weapons and come over here please.” The stallion and griffin both grabbed their swords and walked over to him as Forge walked over to a rack and grabbed a random sword.

“Let me see your sword Shining.” Giving Forge the sword he looked at his sword in pride. It was the best steel that Canterlot had to offer, it even had enchantments that would-

“The balance is horrible, it’s too big for you, and it burnt to hell. Whoever made this piece of shit should be shot in the balls and banished for his dumbassness.” Forge gave a now shrunken Shining Armor his sword back. Walking over to the griffin he watched as she pulled her sword out of its sheath with a bit of a show and presented it to him.

“Captain, this is a clan sword isn’t it?” Steel Wing’s chest swelled with pride as Forge swung the blade around and tested its balance.

“Yes, the blades name is Wing Ripper; it’s been in my family for over twelve generations.” Forge hummed, looking over the blades waved design. Quietly handing the sword back he looked at the rest of the soldiers and back at Shining.

“Shining, put that sword out please.” Shining was confused at the request but complied anyway. Forge looked at the blade in the stallion’s mouth for about a second, looking like he was looking for something. What is he doing? Shining thought as he stared up at Forge.

He almost didn’t see Forge’s blade as it swung down, slicing his in half. Shining dropped the blade in shock, all of the others wide-eyes as Forge looked over to Steel Wing. “Captain, I’d do the same for your sword but I know how much you griffins love your blades.”

Forge showed all 500 ponies/griffins/bat ponies the sword that he held in his hand, it wasn’t even notched. “A soldier is as only as good as his or her weapon.” He told them. “These swords though, are now everything in your lives. They are your best friend, your mother, and the only thing that you can and will trust. Do you understand?”

“SIR YES SIR!”

“Fan-fucking-tastic! Shining this is you new blade.” Forge flipped the blade in the air and presented it to him hilt first, but before he could grab it the Forge flicked it out of his reach. Getting down to Shining’s eyelevel Forge grinned.

“If you get these masterpieces of smithing you will need to pay me back.” Getting back up he spoke in greater volume. “When each of you get these blades you owe a personal debt, you will become better than me, you will practice until you can’t lift a blade anymore and then you will practice some more. You will become the best swordsmen in the world or you will die trying. Do you get me?!”

“SIR YES SIR!”

“Good now get into a line so we can hand out your swords. Then it’s time to show you the basics!”

“SIR YES SIR!”

Rainbow sat on top of a cloud, bored out of her mind. She didn’t have work that day, all of her friends were too busy for her to hang out with, and for once she couldn’t sleep. She groaned, burying her head in the cloud.

CLANK

Rainbow perked her ears, it sounded like metal hitting metal. Poking her head through the cloud she saw that she had floated over The Fort. Deciding to see what all of the commotion was about she lazily floated down, seeing a huge group of ponies with swords in their mouths.

As she got closer she noticed that each of them was drenched in sweat, all of them looking exhausted.

“Rainbow!”

Rainbow looked around, trying to see who called her name. Her gaze stopped on Reaper, who waved her to come hither.

Before she landed next to him they exchanged a hoofbump. “What’s going on here?” Rainbow asked, motioning toward all of the ponies, and now that she looked carefully, some griffins sprinkled here and there.

Reaper looked around and smiled. “Oh, we’re just strengthening up everypony’s necks and the griffin’s sword arms.”

“By making them hold swords?”

“That’s the best way to do it. The griffins have a hell of a harder time; they gotta keep their swords above their heads.” Rainbow humphed, trotting over to a random pony, who ignored her as he tried to keep the sword from falling out of his mouth.

Reaper smiled as she started to make faces as the poor pony, who was contemplating on spitting out the sword and giving the mare a good headbutt. After a few minutes Dash got bored with that pony and started to fly through the rows to pick out her next victim.

What she found really ruffled her feathers.

“Gilda?!” Rainbow hissed as she handed in front of the griffin, who looked down at the Pegasus and rolled her eyes.

“Hello to you too Dash.”

Rainbow gritted her teeth and cocked her hoof back, intending to give Gilda on hell of a shiner. Before her hoof could connect a hand stopped her. Rainbow looked up angrily at Forge, who was frowning down at her.

“Rainbow, why are you trying to attack Private Joker?” Rainbow sputtered.

“This is-”

“That is Private Gilda Bersavenia, also known as Private Joker to everyone here. Her mother was Isalia Bersavenia, a northern griffin that moved to Equestria when Gilda was still in the womb. She attended flight school with you at Cloudsdale for 3 years; afterward she went back to her homeland to find her way.

She came back 3 years later to see you, and you know what happened next. What you don’t know is that she joined the army, every day she regretted what she did to you and the others.”

Forge looked at the pair’s bewildered looks and snorted. “I like to know where my recruits came from; I had a little talk with your captain Joker. Now Rainbow, apologize to Gilda.” She said, motioning toward Gilda.

“NO! She should be the one saying sorry to me!”

“I’m not going to say sorry to a dweeb like you!” Gilda spat.

“She doesn’t sound very sorry.” Longstrider teetered.

The griffin and pony butted heads as Forge snarled, making them both flinch. “You both got a problem with each other? Fine, you can settle it on the training field.”

“Anytime.” Rainbow and Gilda said, ready to tear into each other. Forge snorted.

“Rainbow, Gilda would tear you apart, she’s had hand-to-hand and weapons training.” Pulling out his sword he stuck it into her mouth. “You want to fight? Fine, you’ll get trained. You have to keep that in your mouth for the next 3 hours.” Before she could protest Forge yelled, “Fillies and colts, Miss Rainbow here has agreed to join you in this exercise. If she drops the blade though you all have to shave her head and beat her until she can’t walk, is that clear?”

He got a lot of muffled Sir yes sir’s as Forge walked back into the smithy, a smug Gilda looking at a pissed off Rainbow. “Got anything to say now dweeb?” She laughed at Dash’s unintelligible words. Smiling, she looked over to the smithy at the human as he showed Trixie how to make shovels. “The Captain isn’t that bad at all.”

Community service is something that Celestia highly encouraged in all of her subjects; it helped the community and made the ponies feel good about themselves. Ask the humans about community service or tell them to do it and you would could get you these and many more forms of fuck you in return,

“Go fuck yourself and your community.”

“Nope, but if you want to do it I wouldn’t stop you.”

“Honkey ha!”

“If your mother was the community I’d serve her.”

"Fuckkkkk you"

Because of these negative attitudes and because most of the townsponies were still leery around the humans, Celestia decided that it would be a good idea that they would help a pony once a week,

Much to the dismay of the humans

So there they all were, helping Rarity take out all of her old sewing equipment and lugging in the even heavier and bulkier stuff; Rarity oversaw everything from the comfort of her own couch.

“A little to the left darling, no, the other left.”

“That’s the right Rarity.” Forge grunted as he carried a sewing machine to the corner of the room as Reaper and Longstrider carried bundles of clothing into the storage room in the back.

Rarity ignored his comment and tried to start a conversation with her future husband. “So Forge, I heard that Rainbow had a little bout with that ghastly griffin Gilda the other day.”

“Ya, I’m making sure they settle out their differences.” He replied, trying to figure out where to put the stupid hunk of junk in his hands; it may have been light to him but it was a pain in the ass to hold.

Rarity’s head popped up from the couch to look at him, her eyes sparkling. “Why that’s very noble of you Forge, if every stallion was like you the world would be a better place.”

“Why thank you Rarity.” Now tell me where to put this fucking thing!

Reaper and Longstrider walked out of the back, Reaper rubbing his hands together, happy that they were almost done. “All done Rarity.” He said to her, the mare smiling.

“Thank you darlings, you are all gentlecolts.”

Longstrider cracked his neck, looking at Forge with a smile. “Having trouble with that buddy?”

Forge grunted. “There’s no place to put it.”

Rarity waved to an open spot by the stairs. “Over there is fine darling.” Forge didn’t comment that it was on the other side of the room that he happened to be at the moment.

“Hey Rarity” Reaper said “I heard that you offered Seleis a job.” Forge flinched as he sat the sewing machine down, his back jerking up in a funny way.

“Goddamnit!” Forge wailed, clutching his lower back. The other two humans chuckled but Rarity looked at Forge horrified. Rolling out from the couch she trotted over to him and helped him sit down.

“O you poor dear!” She said “Injuring yourself for my benefit. How will I live with myself?! The guilt, it’s too much!” she finished with a hoof to her temple, swooning.

Forge rolled his eyes. “I’m fine Rarity, it’s just a sprained back, I just need to stretched out and-“

“Idea~!” Rarity yelled, falling into Forge’s lap. “You can come with me and Fluttershy to the spa tomorrow!”

“I could use some relaxation.” Reaper admitted, Longstrider agreeing with him.

Rarity clapped her hooves together excitedly. “It’s all settled then! And I shan’t take no for an answer Mr. Metalworker!” She said, her eyes hardening as Forge tried to say no.

Forge sighed. “Alright, it’s not like I have a say in matter huh?...”

The next day. Ponyville spa

Reaper, Longstrider, Forge, Rarity, and Fluttershy were all having a very relaxing day. They were resting in mud baths with cucumbers over their eyes. Longstrider sighed.

“This is awesome.” He uttered, sinking deeper into the imported mud.

“It is quite nice.” Fluttershy sighed.

“What do ya think, Forge? Worth the trip?” Longstrider asked, taking off a cucumber and eating it. Forge didn’t respond, Longstrider leaned over and poked him on the arm. “Forgey?”

“zzzzz”

Both of the humans chuckled, Rarity taking off her cucumbers at see what was going on. “Is… he asleep?”

Reaper chuckled. “Ya, we haven’t gotten the best sleep for the last couple of weeks, Forge is the worst though, he’s been making swords for the troops nonstop.”

Fluttershy’s cucumber’s slid off her eyes as she looked at Forge worryingly. “Poor dear, that’s not healthy.”

Longstrider chuckled. “He’s use to it, Forge, Forge!”

Forge shot up, a knife in hand. “What, what?!” The two mares looked at him alarmed, but the humans were only amused.

“You brought a knife with you into a mud bath?” Reaper asked as Forge calmed down. Before he could answer somepony cleared her throat, all of them looking at the source, which was one of the spa ponies, Lotus.

“We are ready to start our massages.” She looked at Forge. “You will be first Mr. Metalworker.”

Forge sighed, getting his towel and passing Reaper the dagger. “Fine

*~/@%~*

After he showered off the ponies put together two tables for his size he walked into the massage room, to the greeting of Lotus and her sister, Aloe. The mares looked him up and down as he laid down.

“You have an impressive amount of scars Mr. Forger.” Aloe remarked, grabbing oils and putting some on his back.

Forge grunted, “They’re all mistakes.” He said.

The two mares looked at each other with eyebrows raised. “Mistakes?” Lotus asked, going on the opposite side of her sister as they started to massage Forge.

“These scars are from me not moving fast enough or my blade didn’t block properly. I remember how I got each of these scars.”

“Really? What about this one?” Aloe asked, tracing a long scar going along his back.

“Diamond dog with a sword.”

“This one?”

“Dragon clawed me.”

As they continued with their game the spa ponies fixed Forge’s back, Forge groaning in pleasure. After a little longer Aloe said, “Alright Mr. Metalworker, could you please lay on your back please?” Spinning around he laid on his face, the spa ponies murmured in discontent.

Forge looked up at the two with a raised eyebrow. “What’s wrong ladies?”

In no way, shape, or form did Forge expect bedroom eyes as an answer. “Well Mr. Forger~” Aloe cooed, Forge becoming pale as she got closer. “My sister and I always like to…. Experiment with our customers.”

“Ya” Lotus added in, tracing a hoof across a panicked Forge’s bare chest, neither of the mares noticing that all of the color had drained from the blacksmith's face. “And you look like a-” Before both of the ponies could blink Forge jumped over them, a towel wrapped around himself, screaming as he smashed through two sets of doors, then the ones for the massage room, and finally the nice new door to the entrance.

Fluttershy, Rarity, Longstrider, and Reaper watched the whole scene in awkward confusion. Longstrider took the other cucumber from his eye and took a bite out of it.

“Humm, he must not of liked it….”

Canterlot…

Celestia poured through another volume, trying to find the last sighting of goblins. From what she remembered about them goblins were easily brought to anger and loved to destroy, there was no way that they would have kept to themselves for so long…

A Sudden flash of realization made Celestia shiver. Walking to her balcony she looked down at Ponyville, fear driving an imaginary dagger through her stomach. Goblins could not keep themselves from their natures of violence…

But someone or something could…

Back at The Fort

Seleis strolled through The Fort (snuck through would be a better term) quietly whistling a tune to herself as she dodged another patrol. Walking into Forge’s cabin like she owned it she thought about what she would be doing to Forge tonight…

Seleis took a deep breath and frowned. What is that smell? That’s not Forge’s scent… She thought as she lifted Forge’s bed to see who else was in the room.

What she saw made her emotions walk the thin line between blinding rage and d’awwww.

For under the bed with Forge was a certain sea-green unicorn. That alone would have made Seleis horribly kill the pony, but the adorableness that she was giving off was almost killing her.

The unicorn was hugging one of Forge’s hands between her hooves like it was her favorite teddy bear. If that wasn’t enough one of Forges hands was in her mouth and the unicorn was gently nomming on it.

The dragoness grimaced, half-heartedly raising a claw to strike down the unicorn but she couldn’t. Sighing she put the bed on the side and leaned down and gave Forge a kiss on the cheek.

“Sweet dreams big guy.” She whispered, walking out of the cabin…

A few days later at Golden oaks library…

Spike walked through Ponyville whistling a tune. It had been a pretty good week, he learned so much about dragons, like he might be able to breathe ice or lightning with his fire! Seleis was pretty tight-lipped when Twilight was around though, something about not telling dragon secrets to a crazy purple pony.

If Spike was honest with himself he really couldn’t argue with her about the whole crazy thing, but what are ya going to do?

Doing a little dance as he approached his home he opened the door to see darkness. What’s going- the lights flipped on, revealing a large group of smiling ponies.

“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY”

After the ponies dislodged Spike from the ceiling the party started, an orgy of cake, ice cream, and games. Everypony partied long into the night, but something didn’t seem right to Spike. For one, Seleis wasn’t anywhere to be seen. The second part was revealed when he was opening presents…

“OOO this one next, this one next!” Pinkie yelled, shoving another gift into the young dragons’ claws.

“Alright Pinkie… could you please back up a little bit so I can open the thing?”

“Oops, sorry..” A sheepish Pinkie said, getting out of his face.

Looking at the tag on the present he saw that it was from Forge, who could not attend along with the other humans. Ripping off the wrapping and opening the box he saw something curious. All that was in the box was a folded up piece of paper and what looked like a mouth guard. Putting the box down he opened up what looked like a letter, all of the attending ponies watching curiously.

Dear Spike,

Sorry we couldn’t come to your party buddy, getting the soldiers into fighting shape. You might be wondering about the mouth guard, well It’s very important. When Seleis gives you your gift put it on, it’ll save your teeth.

Yours,

Forge

P.S.

Reaper didn’t get you anything because he’s a lazy black bastard, if you bust his balls about it he’ll probably give you a dozen cupcakes free from Pinkie.

Spike frowned at the letter well that’s odd he thought as he picked up and looked over the mouth guard. He was a little worried about what the elder dragon had in store for him. Someone poked him out of his musings, a slightly worried Rarity.

“Is everything alright my spikey wikey?”

Spike blushed at his pet name but nodded. “Ya I’m okay… I just got a weird gift from Forge is all.” Rarity just nodded, taking his word for it. The rest of the night proceeded without a hitch, until all of the ponies had left, leaving just Spike and Twilight, who for some reason was looking nervously at the door.

Spike turned toward his caretaker. “Twilight, what are you-” The door flew open, revealing a grinning Seleis.

Walking over to Spike she gave him a little noggie. “Happy birthday little guy!” Spike blushed from the on slot, trying to get out of her grasp. Dropping the young dragon Seleis asked, “Are you ready for your present?”

Spike was about to nod when he remembered Forge’s gift. “Hold on a second!” Racing to over where the mouth guard was he put it on. “All right, I’m ready!”

Seleis chuckled at the dragon’s eagerness. At least he has that mouth guard she thought as she grabbed his tail before he could do anything it’ll save him from breaking all his teeth. Picking the now confused and slightly scared Spike she looked at the spikes along his back and tail, counting them out.

“Alright, it should be… this one!” Grabbing the third spike from his tail she pulled, Spike screaming as it came out with a pop. The last thing the young dragon remembered before passing out was a fire-like sensation that spread all through his body.

Seleis smiled brightly at a worried Twilight, who was watching the whole scene passively. “Alright! Do you have all of the food I told you to get?”

“Yes”

“And there’s a bed in the basement for him?”

“Yes” Twilight took Spike’s limp form from Seleis and lightly nuzzled him. “Is he going to be alright?”

Seleis chuckled. “He’ll be right as rain in 3 days, maybe 4. He just needs to stay in a dark room to let the metamorphosis do its job.” Seleis watched as Twilight took the dragon downstairs.

“His crazed lust might be a bit of a problem though…”

Forge walked angrily over to him as he slowly got up, noose in hand. “Get up you little fucker.” He snarled as he got about 20 feet away from him. Before Forge could take another step he charged right up to the blacksmith, getting a hand to the throat and a knife to the eye for his trouble.

“Make my fucking day betrayer.” Forge said, his eyes and voice lacking any emotion but hate.

He laughed, looking up at Forge, who snorted in disgust and picked him up by the scruff of the neck and carried him back to the rest of the Thanes. Before Forge could put the noose on though, the betrayer had an odd request.

“Forge” He said seriously “Say my name, one last time for old time’s sake.” Forge looked him up and down, putting the noose on almost delicately.

“IronHeart, shut the fuck up and get ready for hell.”

IronHeart smiled. “Yes big brother.”