I Don't Give a Dam

by RTStephens

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1886

A pony returns from the dead to finish what he started.

The Ponyville dam has broken once and one pony is determined to make sure it never happens again. Not even death will stop him.

My contribution to the LOEG October prompt!

Published 2012-10-31 05:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-31 05:10:01 UTC

Dam it All to Tartarus

It was a pastime older than Celestia herself. Ponies have performed this activity before the advent of recorded history. Rendezvous, political dealings and weekend plans were all decided during this time. Woe to whomever scoffed at the sacred ritual of...

... the water cooler conversation.

"Hear about Brick 'n Mortar, bud?" asked Shifter, a burly, brown coated stallion. He leaned against a wall within the dam break room and sighed. "Terrible thing, just a terrible thing."

His companion, a light blue stallion with a lankier build, shook his head. "Yeah, poor guy never saw it coming," replied Waterlog. "Too bad he never got to see this dam completed. He'd have been proud with how it turned out." He sighed and took a drink from a styrofoam cup.

"You two! Stop lallygaggin' and get those cement mixers to the other end of the compound!" Brick 'n Mortar ordered as he trotted past the open break room door.

A moment of silence passed between the two after the large grey stallion walked out of view. The next moment, Shifter became the victim of an epic spit-take. He blinked as he wiped his face clean of spring water.

"Wow," Waterlog said, staring into his cup. "Just what the hay are they putting into this stuff nowadays?"

“But I’m telling you that we really saw him!”

“Yeah! He was like all ghostie and stuff. Except we couldn’t see through him. And he wasn’t passing through any walls. Or being all spooky.

“Okay! He was like all zombie and stuff!”

“Except he wasn’t trying to eat our brains or anything like that...”

“Oh yeah, that’s true...”

The dam foreman looked from one speaker to the next with an unamused expression as Shifter and Waterlog tried to describe who, or rather what, it was that they had seen. His head felt like a tennis ball as it switched from one pony to the other in an endless and tiresome debate on the nature of ghosts and ghouls. Finally, he had enough.

“All right you two, shut up,” the foreman said above Shifter and Waterlog’s banter. The two ponies stopped their discussion and regarded the foreman fully. “I think you two have been hittin’ the cider too hard. Brick ‘n Mortar was a tough pony but coming back from six hooves under is pushing it. Now, I want you two to stop this crazy talk and get back to work. Got it?”

“Yes sir!” both workers answered.

With a look of exasperation, the foreman trotted away, leaving Shifter and Waterlog behind.

“Do... you think we could of just imagined it?” Waterlog asked hesitantly.

“... maybe,” Shifter said at length. He motioned for his coworker to follow him and trotted off. “Come on, bud. Maybe focusing on our work will clear our heads.”

“I hope so, dude,” Waterlog replied.

Hours later, the pair were finishing up inspecting the water pressure gauges when a booming voiced roared behind them.

"Didn't I tell you slackers to get those mixers?!"

Shifter and Waterlog nearly jumped out of their skins. They whirled around and cringed at the sight of Brick 'n Mortar staring down at them, a furious expression upon his muzzle.

"Well? Didn't I?" Brick 'n Mortar repeated. "I leave you two alone for just a few minutes and already you're slackin'!"

The two workponies chanced a glance at each other, confirming that the other was seeing what he was seeing. Swallowing, Waterlog hesitantly said, "Um, Mr. Mortar, um, sir? Aren't you suppose to be dead?"

“What kind of talk is that? Would a dead pony be able to stand here and talk to you like this?"

Waterlog had to admit the truth to that logic. "Um, no."

"Then quick wastin' time and git going!"

"But, ah, what about our readings here...?"

Brick 'n Mortar looked up and quickly glanced over the sensors covering the control panel. "They all look fine to me. Now no more excuses. Move!"

The work ponies nearly fell over each other in their haste to get away.

"You don't think we're going crazy... do you?" Shifter asked his partner.

Waterlog finished punching in his work card and placed it in the rack. He looked away and bit his lower lip. "I... I don't know, dude. I mean, we haven't seen Brick for two days now. I'm beginning to wonder."

"I hope I'm not going crazy. That'll put a damper on things, bud. I mean, I haven't even found a good mare to settle down with yet. Who'd want to date a crazy pony other than another crazy pony?"

"I hear ya," Waterlog sighed. "Though, I was at the bar last night and some of the guys there were saying that some weird things have been happening around town. Kinda what we've been going through."

"What do ya think it means?" Shifter said, punching in his own card.

"Don't know, and honestly, don't care. Let's just go about things like we always—"

"Morning, gentlecolts," Brick 'n Mortar greeted as he trotted leisurely into the room and stamped in his work card. "We've got quite a lot to do today, so meet me in the conference room in five minutes." Without another word, the grey stallion trotted off towards a door at the end of the hall and stepped into the room beyond it.

Shifter and Waterlog stared at the space were Brick 'n Mortar was just standing, jaws slacked and hanging. The pair glanced at each other, an unspoken communication passed between them, until they finally decided to head into the conference room. Once inside, they expected it to be empty, but Brick 'n Mortar was there and setting up a projector system.

"Good. Yer on time, for once," he said and motioned for them to take a seat at one of the tables. "Let's not waste time here then." He flicked a switch on the wall, turning off the lights and enshrouding the room in darkness. Before Shifter and Waterlog could panic at the thought of being in a dark room with a dead pony, the projector flared to life. An image of the Ponyville dam lay over the opposite wall, filling the room with a flickering light.

"Now then," Brick 'n Mortar began. "You both know the beginnings of the construction of this dam so there's no need to go over them. What we'll be discussing is how to improve the structural integrity so that the cracks and leaks that have become more common place lately do not lead to a complete collapse."

Shifter raised a hoof. "Actually, that's already happened."

"Yeah," Waterlog added. "Luckily that Mare-Do-Well pony was able to patch it all back together."

"Kinda makes us look incompetent, huh bud?"

"Dude, as long as I get a steady paycheck, they can replace this place with pixie stix and I'd be happy."

"Enough!" Brick 'n Mortar roared and slammed down his hooves. The projector bounced into the air and almost clattered off the table. "That's exactly why I'm here. We're going to make sure it doesn't happen again! This dam will be the most secure dam in all of Equestria if it kills me!"

"Didn't that already happen?" Waterlog pointed out.

"Shut up!" Brick 'n Mortar changed the image on the projector before anymore questions could be asked. It now displayed a cement mixer. "Now, I've been working on a new type of cement, one that will be stronger and last longer. We have all the ingredients and equipment we need but the process will take some time. If we start now, we'll have enough to add a new coat over the entire dam within a month. Then, it will just be a matter of going out there and spreadin' the stuff. Any questions?"

Shifter raised a hoof.

"Any that do not have to do with me being back?"

The hoof lowered.

"Thought so." Brick 'n Mortar switched off the projector and turned on the lights. "If that will be all, then let's get to work."

"Uh, sir?" Waterlog spoke up.

"What is it?"

"Um, are we going to tell the others here? I mean, the more we recruit, the faster we'll be able to make this stuff. Right?"

"That won't be necessary. Of all the ponies in this dam, you two are the most dependable, trustworthy and most important of all, the least likely to screw this up."

"Heavy praise there," Shifter grumbled.

"Now, if there are no further questions, this is how things are going to go down."

"You think this is gonna work?" Shifter asked as he dumped in a bag of sand into a mixing trough.

"You're asking that now?" Waterlog responded incredulously. He stood by with a bucket, waiting for the proper time to add water to the trough. "It's been two weeks, dude. Besides, this is more your special talent than mine."

"Sorry, bud. I just can't help worrying." Shifter stepped back and allowed Waterlog to add to his part of the mix. "If this doesn't go well, then Brick 'n Mortar's going to be furious. Then what? He might haunt us for... like... forever!"

"Well, he hasn't been that bad lately, has he? I mean, this is the happiest I've ever seen him, dead or alive."

"Yeah, I suppose so. Maybe I'm just worrying over nothing."

"Brick 'n Mortar's going to blow a gut, bud!"

"Ya think, dude? All that hard work and then this happens.

"Besides, he's totally going to rupture a spleen."

"Put five bits on it?"

"You're on."

Brick 'n Mortar stood on the riverbank, Ponyville sprawled out in the valley behind him while his precious dam rose before him. A small smile, a rarity for the pony, graced his muzzle.

"It's done. Finally, my life's work is complete."

"Good to hear that."

Brick 'n Mortar turned his head at the voice. A pony shaped figure covered in a black hood stood within a tiny rowboat in the river. "Because it's time to go back. I'm taking you to your eternal rest."

Brick 'n Mortar nodded. With no hesitation, he climbed into the boat and sat down on the provided seat. Just as the hooded pony made to dip his oar into the water, Brick 'n Mortar raised a hoof. "May I have a final request?" The hooded pony gave a slight nod. "When we leave, could you float past the front of the dam? I'd like to see it up close just one last time."

Without a word, the hooded pony steered the boat upstream. Despite moving against the flow of water, the oarspony didn't appear to be strained in the least. Brick 'n Mortar watched silently as the dam drew closer, a content look to his face.

"By the brick wall adorning my flank, it's beautiful. Finally, my life's work is complete and whole. The ponies of this land can now make full use of it—wait. Is that a crack I see? Impossible. My formula was flawless. I saw those two spread it over the entire thing. Is it getting bigger? No. No! NOOOOOOOooooooo..."

The former foreman's voice faded away from existence as the oarspony took him to the other side.

Next to the water cooler, Shifter flicked over five bits. "You were right. Spleen."