Shining Armour waved his parents goodbye as they left the house. Once they were out of sight, he closed the door, and rounded the corner to check on his sister and her friend. Cadance told him that they were ‘little angels’, and he knew his sister was easy to deal with… This was the punishment his parents designed for him for skipping school?
‘This will be easy.’
He saw the two fillies sitting in front of the TV, playing a video game together, with Twilight handling the controller, and her friend giving her advice… Rather loudly.
‘Guess I’ll go read a book, he thought as he made his way upstairs and entered his room. He pulled a book from a shelf and began reading it.
About five minutes later, he heard a loud scream downstairs, and quickly jolted up from his bed. “W-What the?!”
He bolted out of his room, and made his way downstairs.
“WHAT DID YOU?!” Twilight shouted.
“I-I DIDN’T MEAN TO… IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”
“YOU KILLED HIM!”
Shining Armour’s eyes widened at that last line, and his speed increased. He entered the living room to find the two fillies, panicking together as they stood over…
“W-What’s going on?” he asked, and the two fillies turned to face him.
“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!” Trixie shouted. “I didn’t mean to do it! Honest!”
“It’s ok, Trixie,” Twilight assured, picking up the game of Operation that they were playing and putting her ear to it. “I think… Yes! His heart is still beating!”
“Really?!” Trixie asked, her face suddenly lighting up. “YES! We can still save him!”
“Careful though! I don’t think he’ll survive another shock like that!”
Shining Armour watched the scene in bewilderment, and finally managed to get some words out. “Um… You two… Were playing Operation?”
“Yeah,” Twilight said, sternly shushing him afterwards.
“And… You hit the metal part, and his nose lit up?” The two fillies nodded as Trixie carefully removed a plastic butterfly from the pony’s left hind leg. “And… That’s all?”
The two fillies gasped in shock and horror, and Trixie dropped the butterfly back into the hole. They turned around to face Shining Armour, who slightly backed away from them. “‘THAT’S ALL’?!” Twilight asked incredulously.
“This is a pony’s life!” Trixie shouted, pointing to the plastic pony patient on the floor. “How could you just brush it off like it’s some kind of game?!”
‘It is a game,’ Shining Armour thought, pressing a hoof against in-between his eyes. “Sheesh, don’t scare me like that…” He turned around and began to walk away. “And try to keep it down, will you? I’m trying to read.”
The two fillies nodded, though they didn’t seem to be paying much attention to him.
Ten minutes passed, and Shining Armour was almost finished with his book. His door opened slightly, and he lifted his head to see what it was. He heard hushed whispers, and slight giggling sounds.
“Um… Hello?”
“Uh-oh! He’s spotted us!” Twilight said.
“No choice! We’ll have to attack, now!”
Shining Armour was about to ask what she meant by that, when suddenly, the door burst open, and the two fillies rushed in and tackled the older colt to the ground.
“WAH! W-What are you two doing?!” he asked as the two fillies sat on him, high-hoofing each other.
“We did it!” Trixie declared.
“We defeated the enemy!” Twilight cheered.
“Enemy?” Shining Armour asked, feeling a headache coming along.
“Yep! Me and Trixie decided to play ‘war’!”
“But then I pointed out that Twilightopia and the Trixie Empire are allies!”
“So we decided to attack the eastern nation of Armouropolis, who have been on our bad sides for ages now!”
Shining Armour tried to get up, but found the two fillies to be surprisingly heavy. ‘Armouropolis? Really?’
“Well, now that we’ve won, what next?” Twilight asked.
Trixie put a hoof to her chin, and then jumped up, much to Shining Armour’s annoyance. “I know! Let’s play ‘doctor’!”
“Yeah!”
The two fillies jumped off of Shining Armour, leaving him alone to breath a heavy sigh of relief, before climbing back up to his bed to read his book.
“… Wait, WHAT?!”
Shining Armour rushed to his sister’s bedroom, hoping to the Princess that he wasn’t too late.
He heard a gargled noise coming from inside, and quickly opened the door. “Now hold on here!”
“Quiet!” Trixie shouted, as she held a flashlight in her hoof and shone the light down Twilight’s throat. “I’m diagno… Diag… I’m seeing what’s wrong with Twilight!”
Twilight tried to teach her the right word, but it came out as an inaudible gargle.
“Um… What are you… Doing?”
“Playing ‘doctor’,” Trixie said, as if it was obvious to anypony. She turned off the flashlight and placed it down on the floor, before shaking her head sadly. “Miss Twilight, I don’t know how to say this…”
Twilight gasped and looked at Trixie worriedly. “W-What is it? Have I got a sore throat? Runny nose? Puffy eyes?”
Shining Armour placed a hoof to his head and sat down. ‘So this is what she meant… And those are symptoms, Twiley, not diagnoses!’
“Twilight… I’m afraid you have a terrible case of magic flu!”
Twilight gasped, and dramatically fainted.
‘That’s not a thing!’
“There’s only one cure,” Trixie said, leaning over Twilight. “Chocolate!”
Shining Armour jumped back when Twilight suddenly shot up, and started cheering. “Now that’s medicine I can enjoy!”
“Come! Let’s go get lots of chocolate to cure you ail… Ail… Illness!”
Twilight nodded, and the two began to walk together, before being stopped by Shining Armour.
“No!” he said sternly. “You know the rules! No sweets until after three!”
“Do you want your sister to die?!” Trixie shouted, holding Twilight as she lowered to the ground, making a series of coughing sounds.
“Big brother… How could you… Be so cruel?”
Shining Armour tried to look away from Twilight’s puppy dog eyes, but found his resistance failing him fast. ‘No! You have to be a responsible big brother! You can’t give into her whims! You-’
“Bored now!” Trixie announced, snapping Shining Armour free from his thoughts.
“Yeah, this isn’t very fun,” Twilight admitted. “No offence.”
“Hmm… How ‘bout we play ‘mafia’ instead?”
‘Oh lord,’ Shining Armour thought as his headache worsened.
“I’ll be the boss, naturally,” Trixie said, pointing her nose into the air. “You can be my right-hoof.”
Twilight nodded excitedly, and Shining Armour began to leave. “Now we just need a rival mafia member to hunt down.”
Shining Armour froze in the spot, and turned around slowly to see the two fillies grinning wickedly in his direction. “Oh lord!” he shouted as he ran from the room, being chased by the two fillies.
“… How did this happen?” he asked himself as he lay helpless on the floor, hogtied by the two fillies. He was so glad that Cadance wasn’t there to see him.
“Mission accomplished!” Trixie shouted as she poked him with a crudely made wooden sword.
“Hey! Let’s play ‘dungeon explorer’ next!” Twilight shouted.
“Yeah! Let’s hunt for those magazines you told me about in your brother’s room!”
“… Please make it stop,” Shining Armour begged, his headache turning into a migraine. Despite the pain, he had to use his magic to lock his bedroom door. Thank Celestia he was close by to it when they caught him.
“Awww…” the two fillies moaned, before walking away sadly.
It only took a moment for them to come running back, cheering something about being vets… And Shining Armour knew exactly what they were going to use as a pet.
“Kids! We’re home!” Twilight Velvet announced as she and her husband, Night Light, entered the house.
She was immediately greeted by Shining Armour, who was latching onto her hooves, tears streaming down his face. His coat was messy, his mane and tail were tangled, he had makeup on (poorly), and his body was decorated with little pink bows.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’ll never skip school again! I’ll even spend overtime there! Just… Please don’t leave me with those two ever again! I’m begging you!”
Velvet and Night Light exchanged glances for a second, before turning to their son, who was shaking like a leaf and still begging for forgiveness.
“Wow,” Velvet said, “I knew they were a hoofful, but… Cadance never mentioned anything like this.”
“What are they doing now?” Night Light asked, helping his son up and wiping off the makeup with a hoofkerchief.
“They said they were playing ‘marriage’…”
“M-MARRIAGE?!” the two parents asked, before bolting off past their son to see what was going on.
“Do you, Trixie, take this mare as your lawfully wedded wife, through sickness and in health, ‘til death do you part?” Twilight asked, though it was really Smart Pants asking, but Twilight provided the voice.
“I do,” Trixie said, and then moved her hoof over to Smarty Pants. This time, Trixie would supply the voice. “Do you, Twilight, take this mare your, er… What I just said, but to you this time.”
Twilight giggled, and then nodded. “I do.”
“I now pronounce you mare, and mare. You may kiss the bride.”
Velvet and Night Light watched as the two fillies played their little pretend wedding in the backyard. There were many chairs outside – which would have to be pulled back in later – and most of Twilight’s dolls were in attendance.
For the wedding veils, they just used a whole bunch of toilet paper… Something told Velvet that a little shopping was in order.
“Awww, isn’t that just adorable?” she asked, leaning on her husband’s shoulder.
Night Light, however, was gritting his teeth and glaring at Trixie. “She’s not good enough for our little Twilight!”
Velvet rolled her eyes at her overreacting husband. “Oh, come on. They’re just playing. It’s not like they’re actually getting married…” She moved her head to the side to whisper the next bit. “Yet.”
They watched the wedding proceed, and almost choked when they saw the two fillies lean forward and kiss each other.
“W-What?!” Night Light shouted.
“W-Wow…” Velvet said, not quite as livid as her husband. “Kids these days sure are impressive, huh?”
It was all Night Light could do to not run outside and scare Trixie away from his daughter. As the two fillies approached, Velvet had to use her secret technique – whispering seductively into his ear – to calm her husband down.
“And where are our two newlyweds off to?”
“Honeymoon!” Twilight shouted cheerfully.
“We’re going to go sightseeing around the neighbourhood!” Trixie added. “That’s what a honeymoon is, right?” she asked Twilight, who nodded to confirm it.
‘Well, that’s not quite all there is to it… But I guess it’s a good thing you don’t know that yet,’ Velvet thought. “I see. Well, have fun!” she said as she waved to the two fillies. Once the door was closed, she turned to her husband. “Okay, you take care of Shining Armour, I’ll follow them to make sure they stay out of trouble.”
“Got it,” Night Light said, walking over to their son to help get him cleaned.
“No… Don’t go alone,” Shining Armour said. “You’ll regret it…”
Velvet rolled her eyes, and left through the front door. “Oh, Shining… Honestly, they’re just two little fillies. How bad can they be?”
Some say that Twilight Velvet never returned that night. Others say that you can still hear her, late at night, screaming into wind. Others are well aware that she returned safe-and-sound, with sanity intact. But Trixie’s stories were more interesting, so they spread faster.
