What The Hell?

"Isn't this a wonderful way to spend a Saturday night?" Ghost Rider asked the current criminal he was duking it out with, ending his question with a fist to his ugly mug. The guy went flying, but gravity, the cruel bitch that she is, decided to end his momentary flight and bring him tumbling to the ground.

Grinning a smile that couldn't really be seen past the flaming skull that he called a head, he cracked his fiery knuckles. "Okay, who else wants a crack at this?" The dark alleyway only had about four goons left, the rest knocked unconscious or wishing they were. "Cause I'm real tired of all these late night liquor store robberies. Seriously, you guys can't rob a bank or something? At least set your sights high when doing crime."

The four criminals looked between themselves, one half having shat their pants a few minutes ago when Ghost Rider appeared and the other half already nearly there. That usually happened when a flaming skeleton dressed like a biker appears out of no where and beats the ever living crap out of you just when you are about to commit a robbery. And by the look of the others who tried fighting the walking Halloween costume, it won't end well.

"Eat lead, bitch!" one especially idiotic thug yelled, ignoring his previous cohort's failures and brandishing a glock at Ghost Rider. With a loud bang and slight recoil the bullet struck the flaming menace, only for said menace to calmly walk closer to the four with no indication of an injury. Firing blindly into the quickly approaching threat, the flaming skull only opened its exposed jaw and laughed.

"You guys are really this stupid? I am a skeleton. That's on fire! Bullets can't do a damn thing to me!" And to prove his point, in an instant he was upon the criminal shooting at him and pressed his boney finger in the gun's barrel, the next trigger pull detonating the firearm and partially exploding off the criminal's hand. Crying in pain, the thug fell to the ground clutching his ruined appendage. Ghost Rider just walked past him without another word.

"One down, three more to go. Your odds are slipping," Ghost Rider joked, the goons now backing up from their doom. The sound of his biker boots striking on the concrete was eerily similar to the bells of death as he nonchalantly made his way over. One thug made a run for it, followed by his cohort. It didn't end well for them.

In a flash of hellfire a chain materialized from Ghost Rider's palm, the demonic chain shooting forward in an instant and wrapping itself on one of the legs of the goons. With a flick of his wrist the biker dressed vigilante brought the chain up, along with the thug, who was now being held in midair by the chain. Swinging his arm to the side, Ghost Rider slammed the thug against his buddy, the pair of idiotic criminals crashing painfully into the brick wall. Both moaned and cried from the pain of several broken bones and bruises, as one laid atop the other in an inappropriate position. Ghost Rider would've found it funny, if he didn't already have one last criminal to deal with.

A thin slob dressed in hipster drags. Weird ass sunglasses, long hair, beanie hat, and clothes that should have 'Hot Topic' printed right on them. Yeah, Ghost Rider was definitely going to enjoy beating his ass. "Any last words, punk?" he growled, the hellfire surrounding his exposed skull upping in the blazing department in anticipation for the approaching curb stomp.

"Look man, I just wanted to get some booze and humans for a quick meal before I headed out. Sick party happening out of world, so I wanted to stock up in snacks before the big trip," the punk said, holding his hands up in surrender as he slowly retreated from Ghost Rider.

"Using mortals and alcohol as snacks? What type of party are you going to?" Ghost Rider asked.

"A real fun one. Better than anything in Hell," he replied, snickering a little. "I'll be sure to send you a card from Satan himself."

"You can save your card, because I'll shove it down your throat when I'm done with you," he snarled, his empty eye sockets glowing a bright red for a moment.

The punk only smiled, his grin filled with razor sharp teeth. "Satan won't be happy when he hears that," he chortled, removing the beanie hat from his head, revealing two small devil horns.

Without missing a beat Ghost Rider materialized a hellfire shotgun using his demonic powers, the gun going off with a boom as pure hell burst from its barrel right at the demon hipster. The demon was knocked off his feet and blasted down the alleyway, his momentum ending with a brick wall that he pulverized on impact. "You can tell Satan to kiss my bony, flammable ass!" Ghost Rider yelled down the alley, his saunter still controlled and calm as he reloaded another slug of hellfire in the shotgun. It was more to look cool than actually doing anything to reload the shotgun since it had unlimited ammo from his powers, but damn was it effective in intimidating an opponent.

From the rubble appeared a blood red arm, bulging in unnatural muscles. This was closely followed by another large limb as the now twelve foot demon pulled himself from the ruins of the wall. His hipster drags were ripped beyond repair, and his face now resembled that of a dog than a human. His upper torso was twice as big as his legs, which look like they could barely support him at the moment. And now his arms more closely resembled tree trunks that have been injected with super steroids. But he still had those comically tiny horns on his even smaller dog head.

"What was that bout kissing your ass? Because when I remove your skull, that's exactly what I'm gonna make you do to it," the roid rage demon growled, his comically tiny head with its razor sharp fangs dripping acidic drool.

"Well, this certainly made things interesting," Ghost Rider said to himself, smiling a smug grin, yet not being able to be seen because of the fact a flaming skull doesn't have that wide arrange of human expressions to show. And before the epic battle could begin, a small flame appeared between the two demonic fighters.

"What the- I didn't summon any hellfire," Ghost Rider said angrily, just as the flame grew larger and larger, spinning like a top. It increased in volume, the flickering flame now becoming an raging inferno as it sucked in everything with its increased gravity. It grew larger and larger, until it threatened to engulf the entire alleyway.

The demon Ghost Rider was about to fight only gave a whoop of joy and cannonballed in the hellfire, seeming to get disintegrated before shouting out, "Time to bust some skulls!"

Ghost Rider dug his heels into the concrete beneath him, but the pull of the hellhole inferno was too strong. Trying to materialize chains to keep himself anchored in place only caused them to disintegrate in an instant. He couldn't even summon his bike to ride out of the problem. Finally, he was swept off his feet into the blazing hellfire of the tornado, pissed beyond belief he got sucked into some type of hell-portal. This was probably the third time this month that's happened to him.

Once your body is already on fire constantly, being knocked around a bit in a spinning death-trip of flames gets boring after a while. After a couple more minutes of insufferable heat and pain that would've cooked a human crispy on the edge of burned, Ghost Rider was finally released from the portal's grasp. And like a true stuntman, he made a big appearance.

Entering out of the portal caused an explosion to go off, flames shooting dramatically in the air as the earth shook. The sight would've brought a tear to Michael Bay's eye. Soon the dust began to clear, but Ghost Rider just stood there with his arms folded over his chest, a badass pose if ever there was one.

"Well then, nice flames," a voice spoke from off to the side. Ghost Rider turned to the speaker, a tall demon of red with cut horns, wearing a trench coat and currently equipped with a large, red stone gauntlet on his right arm. A red fury appeared in the Ghost Rider's empty sockets. It must be the demon from before. Sure, he didn't have the canine face or disfigured body proportions, but he could be a shapeshifter.

He leaped at the demon and brought his fist to his vile face, the impact knocking Satan's henchman deep into the earth as he tumbled away, a mound dirt collecting behind him. "Fool! Do you think you can mess with the likes of me?! Prepare to suffer the sting of Ghost Rider's power! Prepare to know the true meaning of hell!" he yelled, flames leaping off his body as he charged at the demon on the ground.

"Hey Twilight, something weird is going on near the Everfree Forest," Spike noted, the small dragon standing on his tippy toes as he struggled to get a better glimpse of what he was talking about.

"Spike, it's the Everfree Forest. Weird things go on there all the time," Twilight pointed out, still walking ahead. She was following her daily list of chores, and right now was the time for shopping for groceries and new supplies for the library. And she wasn't about to let her over curious assistant pull her off track.

"But Twilight, there was a huge explosion! And now flames are all over the place!" Spike shouted, the red tint in the sky and smoke appearing overhead a clear sign he was speaking the truth.

Twilight turned and also noticed the first indicator of a blaze. "Oh no, a fire must have broken out at the forest," she said to herself, her mind racing to find a solution to the problem. "Quickly, we need to get everypony evacuated from the area! Then we need to get as many pegasi as possible to bring in storm clouds to put out the-"

Her sentence was cut off when another explosion, much like the first, detonated near them. Both unicorn and dragon went flying in the air and met a painful reunion with the ground as dust and dirt scattered everywhere from blast zone. And from the dust and smoke stood someone of towering height. With footsteps that made the ground tremble emerged a crimson demon of such hideous nature that Lovecraft himself would've puked at his retched look. His tiny canine head on his monstrously big and bulky body was a sight no human or pony should see in their lifetime.

Noting the pony and dragon shaking in terror on the ground, the demon growled in pleasure. "Looks like I just found me some snacks..."