Kaidan's Short Stories: Vol. 1 - Teen

by Kaidan

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Sex, Random, Anthology, Main 6, Lyra, Gore
Length: 66240

A collection of all my one-shot stories. From the comedies for everyone, to mature sci-fi crossovers, and featuring a dozen story prompts from friends. You'll find a great collection of my short stories from 2013 onward here.

A collection of all my one-shot stories. From the comedies for everyone, dark tragedies, to sci-fi crossovers, and featuring a dozen story prompts from friends. You'll find a great collection of my short stories from 2013 onward here.

The mature volume of my one shots is called: Kaidan's One-Shot Compendium: Mature

Featuring: a short-story on a hang-over induced septuple body-swap, A Warhammer 40k crossover, Fluttershy visits an Animal Farm, Rainbow Dash makes homemade fireworks, and more!

Each story has brief tags at the top to alert you to the content, and short tags in the title:
E, T, or M for Everyone, Teen.
Genre tagged by first two lettrs. Comedy = Co
A Sex or Gore tag, if applicable.

ex: T/Co/Sex = Teen Comedy Sex.

*Formerly 'What If'? stories. Editors attributed in the A/N by chapter.

Published 2013-01-16 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-01 23:24:01 UTC

2. Rainbow Dash Tries Science :: E/Co

{Random}{Comedy}{Science}

Perched upon a cumulus cloud, Dash waited patiently. Down below, her quarry was just finishing up her preparations. Soon, the mare and her assistant, would be headed to Canterlot to meet with Celestia. Once she left, Dash would make her move. Struggling to stay awake, Dash finally saw the last checklist get put away in her saddlebags. She set off towards Canterlot, and Dash had the whole laboratory underneath the library to herself.

Descending from the cloud slowly, Dash made her way to the window she had unlocked yesterday. She was about to fly through when she heard a familiar voice.

"Dash! Hey wanna see my new trick?" Scootaloo was buzzing her wings on a scooter down below.

Dash didn't want to be bothered, but she couldn't just turn away the filly. "Hey squirt, I've got something 20% cooler than some scooter tricks, come on!" Dash quickly scooped the filly up and flew through the window, closing it behind her.

"Uh Dash, why are we breaking into the library? The front door was unlocked." Dash sped down to the front door and locked the deadbolt, then turned a sign around to read "Closed" in the window.

"I'm going to borrow Twilight's lab and make some spectra fireworks, it'll be like a sonic rainboom but cooler!"

"Wow that's so awesome, can I help? Can I?" Scootaloo was hopping around like a rabbit with hummingbird wings.

"Yeah you can be my. . ." Dash grinned mischievously. "Number one assistant."

The duo went downstairs and turned on the lights. There was a massive laboratory under the library that Dash had found out about from Pinkie. When Pinkie Pie told Dash about the "pinkie sense" machine and the underground lair, Dash thought it was another practical joke. Now, armed with a saddle bag full of spectra, Dash was going to make some fireworks for the coronation.

Heading down the hallway they found the room with all the complicated computers and wires. A little further down was a room filled with meticulously labeled bottles and beakers.

"Here we are squirt: One firework factory." Dash held the door open as they walked inside. "Here I think we're supposed to wear these." Dash put on some goggles and handed Scootaloo a pair. They were comically oversized on her, resting on her muzzle and reaching up to her ears.

"Wow, can I start playing with this stuff now?" Scootaloo picked up a beaker with 500ml of a clear fluid.

"Hey put that down! We don't know what they are yet." Dash examined the label on the beaker. "Dye--hydra--gen--man--ox--ide?"

"Cool! What's dihydrogen monoxide? Can I mix it with this purple stuff?"

"No Scootaloo, that stuff sounds deadly. Let's stick to my plan. I got a book from the prank shop on homemade fireworks for dummies, a book that tells me what all the sciency-stuff means, and a few jars of spectra. Now, stand back. I’m going to try science.”

Dash laid everything out on the table in the middle of the room and began reading. The first ingredient called for was charcoal. "Heh, that's an easy one. Charcoal is just some burnt up stuff from a barbeque." Dash walked along the shelves until she reached C. "Hmm, cadmium telluride, calcium carbonate, crocoite, and charcoal! Here, take this squirt. Squirt?"

Dash turned around to see Scootaloo playing with a metal cylinder that was sitting upright on the table. A rubber tube ran from the base of the cylinder to the underside of the table. Scootaloo had something in her hooves that resembled half a coat hanger, with a bell on the end. She was squeezing it together to see what it did. "Hey Dash I found this sparky thingy and some tube that smells like rotten eggs!"

"Maybe you shou--" Dash was interrupted by a massive fireball that startled Scootaloo, causing her to fall off the table.

"WOW! Let's do it again! Did you see that? It was all hissing and then sparking and BOOM!"

Dash was at her side in an instant. She appeared undamaged, though most of the orange peach fuzz covering her face was gone. "Careful squirt, Twilight always gets in trouble with this sciency stuff. Let's only touch the stuff I tell you too, or you have to leave."

"Awwww, alright Dash." Scootaloo pointed at the one foot flaming cylinder. "But how do we turn that off?"

Dash followed the rubber tube from the cylinder to the underside of the table and saw a lever. Pushing it to the left, the flame died out. "There, now as I was saying we got the Charcoal. Next we need... Pot--assium Night--rate. Potassium Nitrate! You got that squirt?"

"I'm on it Dash!" Scootaloo rushed over to the shelves labeled P. "Phos--pour--us, Pot--assium." Scootaloo glanced at Dash who was busy reading, and set that one aside. Looking to the next container she found what she was looking for. " Potassium nitrate! Got it!" Scootaloo carried the container over to Dash, who set it on the table.

"Alright, now I just need some sulfur." Dash walked over to a shelf, and found sulfur easily. Meanwhile, Scootaloo grabbed the dihydrogen monoxide and the potassium from earlier and went to a small table in the corner.

"Just sit tight, squirt, while the book tells me how to mix them. Then I just take a tube, add wings, and instant firework!" Dash began mixing the ingredients together by eye, and ended up with half a dozen mixtures. Some of the ingredients were in larger chunks. The book said a mortar and pestle might be needed to grind up the mixture to a fine powder. Dash found one using the handy illustrations in the book.

Just then Dash heard something explode behind her. Turning to look at Scootaloo, she was hit by a wall of vapor. "Scootaloo!"

"Awww, but you wouldn't let me help with the powder."

"It's 'gunpowder', and what was that?"

"Oh, I mixed the potassium and dihydrogen monoxide and it exploded the stuff everywhere! It's kinda burny though."

Sure enough, Dash could feel bits of something burning her skin, and tried to wipe them off. Luckily, neither of them was covered in too much of the stuff. "Careful! That dihydrogen monoxide could have killed us. Ok, come up here and you can help me grind this stuff up with the mortar and the pestle thingy."

Scootaloo hopped up to the table with a quick fluttering of her wings. "I'm on it!" Scootaloo took the mortar full of gunpowder, and took the pestle up in her hooves. Dash went back to reading, and then realized she had just put a member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders in charge of mixing gunpowder. "WAIT!--"

Scootaloo swung the pestle down like a hammer on the powder. There was a loud flash and a lot of smoke. The next thing Scootaloo knew she was on the floor across the room, with a wicked headache, and a shocked grin on her face. The room had been drained of color, and Dash was standing over her in slow motion. Dash was speaking, but Scootaloo couldn't hear her over the ringing in her ears. Scootaloo stood up in slow motion, and looked to her flank for a cutie mark in being "awesome." The world began to come back into focus, color and sounds were returning to her. Sadly, there was no cutie mark on her flank.

"YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED! You even burned off half your mane! Go upstairs and wash up, you're done here squirt."

"Aww Dash, but I'm fine and that was so awesome!" Scootaloo smiled, her teeth seeming pearly white compared to the black scorch marks surrounding her goggles.

"Look, I'll let you fire off one of the fireworks, you just need to leave the lab, ok?"

"Alright." Scootaloo walked out of the lab, putting on a show of looking dejected. Dash didn't fall for her act, and closed the door behind her. Slowly navigating the labyrinth that Twilight calls a lab, Scootaloo made it to the library bathroom. Looking in the mirror she saw what had made Dash so worried. Scootaloo removed her goggles. Everywhere, except around her eyes, black soot covered her skin. Her mane from forehead to behind the ears was gone, and the rest had singed ends. She could still hear some ringing in her ears, but decided it was worth it. If a little gunpowder was that amazing, then the fireworks would be radical.

After cleaning off her face she heard knocking at the door. Scootaloo went over and answered it, to see Sweetie Belle and Applebloom.

"Hey Scoots, we saw your scooter out--" Applebloom glanced at Scootaloo, glanced away, and immediately glanced back, locking onto her bald head. "Scootaloo! What happened!"

"Hey gals, well Dash was letting me help her make fireworks, but she was being kinda boring. So then I got her to let me mix the gunpowder!"

"YOU WERE MIXING GUNPOWDER!" Sweetie Belle's eyes flew wide open and her mouth hung agape. "Don't you know how dangerous that stuff is? The slightest spark or a hard impact could blow up half the laboratory!"

"I know, it was totally awesome! And then there was this pottyassium and diehydrigin manoxide that exploded, and this metal tube that shot fire out everywhere!"

"WHAT! Who on Equestria would let you and Dash into a chemistry lab unsupervised?" Sweetie Bell slapped a hoof to her forehead. "Ugh, doesn't anypony pay attention when Cheerilee teaches about chemistry?"

"Is that the boring stuff 'bout all the chemicals and symbols and stuff?" Applebloom and Scootaloo looked to Sweetie for an answer.

"YES! Ugh, if you want to get a cutie mark for chemistry you two are going to have to do exactly as I say. Now, let's go down to this 'lab' and I'll show you girls how it's done."

CUTIE MARK CRUSADER CHEMISTS. YAY!

The three fillies bumped hooves, and headed downstairs.

Dash wiped the sweat off her brow, and tried to steady her hands. She poured the last of the gunpowder into the crudely fashioned firework. She had been able to use some duck tape and plywood to form the wings on the sides of the metal cylinder. Then she had punched a hole through the bottom for a fuse. She poured the spectra in, and it began to bubble and seep into the gunpowder. Placing a funnel on top to act as a nose cone, she taped it in place. Then she headed upstairs to make good on her promise to let Scootaloo fire the first rocket. The long fuse would give Dash plenty of time to fly Scootaloo to a safe distance for the test launch.

"Scootaloo? Where are you?" Dash had arrived upstairs but couldn't find Scootaloo anywhere. Near the door was a pair of saddlebags. One of them looked like a fancy bag stitched by Rarity, the other had a single red apple on the clasp.

"Wait--Scootaloo--and those look like--" Rainbow Dash gulped. "Sweetie Belle and Applebloom's saddlebags!"

Dash's pupils dilated so wide her magenta irises nearly vanished completely. Dropping the rocket, she took to the air and flew back to the lab. She could feel her heart rate speed up, her lungs pulling in air faster and faster. "omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh, they're in the lab!" The sound of her wings was drowned out, and she began to get tunnel vision.

Bursting through the door of the lab, she found it was empty. Breathing a sigh of relief, she felt her body relaxing back to normal. "Heh, those fillies nearly scared me half to death. Imagine the 3 of them loose in Twilight's lab."

Dash heard some laughing that she had missed in her panic to get to the lab. Three fillies were laughing, and their echoes carried down the hallways. Following the sound of the laughter, Dash returned to the room with all the computers and wires. The three fillies were standing in front of a glowing cylinder that was whirring softly.

"Girls, what's going on?" Dash flew over to their side.

"Sweetie here was trying to tell us what this is, it's some sort of power gene-- hmm." Scootaloo put a hoof to her chin.

"It's a fusion power generator, and it's what is powering the whole lab. I never thought I'd see something this sophisticated in Ponyville. In fact, the generator in Manehatten is only 2 years old. I wonder if Twilight built this herself."

"Yeah Dash, and look at all the buttons and levers!" Scootaloo pointed over to the console attached to the device, bumping a lever up.

"Careful Scootaloo!" Sweetie rushed over and put the lever back down. A red light began to flash, and a warning beep sounded. Sweetie, for all her book smarts, only knew what half the levers meant. Each time she would get one red light to vanish, another would appear. Each lever, and every button push, added to the growing cacophony of beeping.

"And that, Twilight, is what will happen after the Princess coronation." Celestia and Twilight stood on the balcony of the sun tower, looking out over the peaceful valley that contained Ponyville.

"Look, Twilight." Celestia waved a hoof over the valley. "Everything the light touches will be your kingdom."

"What about that shadowy place?"

Celestia opened her mouth to respond, when a bright flash blinded both mares. Shielding their eyes too late, they were dazed as something brighter than Celestia's sun began to fade. The mares felt the entire tower rumbling. Rubbing their eyes, they were then hit by a wave of air and knocked off their hooves. A deafening noise arrived with the wall of air, and the air warmed slightly.

Standing back up, a weaker wave of air began to rush in the opposite direction. Twilight and Celestia stared in utter disbelief. Down in the valley there was an enormous cloud shaped like a mushroom. The smoky cloud billowed up through the air, and the entire valley was lost in the dust storm kicked up. Everything that had once been the valley, from the rivers and trees, to the rolling hills and farmland, was gone. The Everfree forest was gone. All that used to make the valley beautiful, was flattened and turned to glass.

Celestia facehoofed. "Damn it Twilight! I told you to lock your lab before you left."

[img] http://www.atomicarchive.com/Effects/Images/WE12.jpg[/img]

3. Fluttershy Answers The Door :: E/Sl

{Slice of Life}

Knock Knock Knock

I looked up from the table, wondering who might be at the door. Angel sat next to me, eating the salad I had just prepared. The immediate wave of familiar emotions hit me as I pondered the meaning of the unexpected visitor.

Slowly I approached the door, eying it suspiciously. The round golden knob sat perfectly still. I had cleaned it recently to keep the taste of brass to a minimum when I would use my mouth to open it. Above it sat the two deadbolts I used to ensure I was safe at night. There were all manner of scary creatures that came out at night to feed.

Knock Knock Knock

I jumped back and let out a soft squeak, hoping I hadn’t revealed myself to the guest. Beyond the two inches of oak door stood something unknown, and my time in the Everfree had taught me to fear the unknown.

There could be a manticore knocking on my door. It was their mating season and they had to eat as much as possible before hibernating. It had likely eaten all my critters from outside and wanted to come in for dessert. It would stab me with its barbed stinger, paralyzing me. I would cry and whimper for help as I had to watch it eat Angel. . .

Knock Knock Knock

Or it could be changelings. They could have come since I’m the weakest of the elements. I’ll open the door to find Twilight there, only it isn’t Twilight. It’ll be queen Chrysalis herself, and she’ll drain me of all my love and kindness, leaving a shallow husk.

Everypony will grow up telling their kids stories of how Fluttershy the coward let the changelings take over Equestria.

Knock Knock Knock

I slowly approached the door and put my ear to it. I couldn’t hear any chittering or buzzing outside. There was no foul stench to the air, so that only left. . . dragons.

There was a dragon outside my door! It was the only other explanation. I slowly backed away, careful not to make a sound. When the dragons had migrated, they must have picked up my scent and smelled my fear. I bathed in skunk-oil to prevent such a thing from happening, and it took nearly a month and three new sets of tail extensions to get rid of the smell.

It was all for naught. Right now it was circling the cottage in its wings, preparing to burn it down and turn me into a tasty pony fricassee. It would gobble me up and pick its teeth clean with my bones. It’d use my feathers as fresh quills to tell all the other dragons how tasty ponies were, and they would come eat all my friends.

Knock Knock Knock

No. Nopony eats my friends. I looked deep inside to find my courage. It was there, beneath the kindness and compassion. It hadn’t failed me before when I really needed it. When I stood up to Nightmare Moon, when I had to joust with Rainbow Dash, or when they dragged me on top of a mountain to stare down a dragon.

That’s it, I’ll give it the stare. I’ll look deep into its eyes before it can eat me, exert my dominance for long enough to make him leave, and then I can go hide under my bed and read a romance novel until I stop shaking. It’s a foolproof plan.

Knock Knock Knock

Except it isn’t foolproof. First I have to open the door and let the dragon know I’m home. I found my belly grazing the floor, my ears flattened against my head. Slowly inching towards the door, I tried to peer under the narrow crack to see the feet of the scaly reptile.

Something landed on my back and began thumping it. I screamed in pure terror, the dragon had sent it’s parasprites in to eat my legs! Oh this is awful. I scrambled under the sofa, knocking it over. I continued to burrow my way under it until I was hidden in the mattresses.

A loud popping sound echoed through the room, dulled by the fabric and my frenzied breathing. If I stayed perfectly still, if I held my breath, it would think I had run away.

Angel! Oh no, I need to go back to save him. I began to crawl towards the end of the sofa to save my Angel bunny. My tail got caught on something, stopping me.

“Fluttershy?” a voice called out. With a soft snap, the sofa was turned into thousands of butterflies.

I slowly uncovered my eyes and pushed my mane out of the way. I breathed a huge sigh of relief, sending up a lair of dust from the floor.

“Discord! I’m so glad you could make it for tea. For a moment there, I thought there was a monster at my door.”

4. WarPony 40k :: T/Ad/Gore

{Crossover Warhammer 40k} {Adventure} {Teen}{gore}

The Space Pony drop ship would be landing at the extraction site in 15 minutes. Twilight Sparkles had just received word that the God Empress Celestia would be arriving soon to carry out the exterminatus. She activated her comm and spoke to her squadron "Fall back to LZ Charlie; we're lifting off in 15!" Twilight stood up to her full height as her horn began to glow. The cultists of Luna, chaos god of passion, lust, and pride, had corrupted this planet. It was up to her now to regroup her squad and get the hell off this rock.

~*~

"Roger Sparkles" Rarity replied over the comm unit. She sighed at the thought of hoofing it down 40 flights of stairs to ground level and getting to the LZ in 15 minutes. Having never been one to get her hooves dirty she preferred a sniper rifle and light armor. Light was a relative term, when you’re a 12 foot tall genetically engineered pony breed for war by the geneseed of the God Empress. Rarity took one last look down her scope to make sure Applejack's position hadn't been overrun.

Applejack was in the midst of several sarosian cultists. Vile bat-winged ponies who served the chaos god Luna, sarosians had limbs, eyes, and other taints of chaos festering over their leathery skin. One of them was sneaking up behind Applejack, baring fangs from his 2 heads and preparing to strike from behind. With a thought, Rarity was able to still her beating hearts and focus on making the shot count.

~*~

"Roger sugarcube, headin' back now" Applejack replied as her chainsword sliced up into the soft abdomen of the nearest sarosian. The foul creature bled acid as it died, splashing harmlessly off her thick armor. As the blade pulled free trailing flesh, she swung the bolter attached to her right forehoof around and fired 2 rounds into a nearby 8 legged cultist. She could suddenly sense something was wrong moments before the claws of a foul creature behind her hit her head, followed by a loud bang.

Turning around she sighed "Thanks Rarity but I reckon' that kill should still count as mine on account o' the exoskeleton."  Applejack knew her genetic enhancements would protect her from teeth and claws.

"Well if you WANT to take chances like that you won't last much longer down there. The God Empress' gift doesn't make you immortal" Rarity replied.

"I reckon' your right, have you heard from Fluttershy?" Applejack inquired. "No I haven’t. Her last known location was 2 clicks south of me, I'll meet you there” Rarity stated.

~*~

"LZ in 15 over... Oh dear, this isn't good at all..." Fluttershy said. Before her stood a Draconequus, one of the daemons serving Discord, chaos god of change. The foul beast was 22 feet tall and had a lion's head, razor sharp antlers, and 2 red slits for eyes. Flames wept from its eyes and rained onto the ground below. His left arm was leathery with 6 sharp claws on the end, his right arm a serpent fit to crush even the largest space pony.

Fluttershy knew there was only one thing to do "PURGE THE UNCLEAN!" she screamed with a glint in her eye, before leaping out of the way of the serpent arm. She hoisted the prometheum flamer up towards the daemon and pulled the trigger. There was a hiss and a spark before a jet of consecrated prometheum leapt out of the dual barrels towards the lesser daemon.

The daemon wrapped its wings forward as it was consumed in the inferno, shielding its body with a dragon and eagle's wings. The eagle wing burnt to a crisp but the dragon wing held fast, and the daemon responded by swiping down its clawed talon with all his might. Fluttershy was barely able to block with her weapon before being crushed. She heard something snap and knew it was a fuel line on the flamethrower. She threw it down and charged the daemon with nothing left but her bolter and knife.

~*~

"Ha! I could be there in 3!" Dash replied to Sparkles. With a maniacal grin on her face she ignited her jump jets and pounced on the nearest sarosian, bringing her thunder hammer down with a loud crack. The sarosian crumbled; his ebony armor was no match for the holy relic. Dash was already leaping to the next sarosian when she realized she had made an error.

The next sarosian was one of the lieutenants, and he bore a shield and a power sword that had a black glow. It was as if light could not bear to be near the unholy artifact, creating a vortex of darkness around the blade deeper than any night. Dash brought the hammer down with all her might and shifted her body to the right. She had just enough time to calculate where the foul blade would strike her armor before it pierced through her like a knife through butter. Her thunder hammer bounced harmlessly off the shield and flew into the ground nearby.

Her momentum carried her away from the sarosian, but she could already feel her heart and 2 of her lungs shutting down. She would need to make it to the LZ and enter stasis if she was to have any hope of surviving longer than 15 minutes. She rolled over with her bolter already in her hand, emptying a clip of consecrated rounds into the sarosian's shield to no avail. She could smell the fuel from her jetpack as the sarosian lifted his sword. Dash lit the jets anyway as his blade swung down where her chest had been a moment earlier. She could feel the fuel igniting, further adding to the damage to her body, but she cleared the blade.

The sarosian was grinning as Rainbow uttered her last words "I shall know no fear. Fear denies faith. My faith is my shield. The Empress protects the faithful." The sarosian laughed, "The God Empress is dead little pony. Luna shall feast upon your soul in her harems!"

~*~

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie Pie said into the comm. She looked down and said "I'm going to love and tolerate the heck out of you" before crushing the skull of the sarosian lieutenant beneath her. Armored in the chapter’s only suit of Terminator armor, Pinkie was the armored behemoth of the chapter. It was her job to spearhead assaults and the last thing between her and the LZ was a sarosian heavy tank. This was going to be too easy.

Pinkie Pie activated the transporter to clear the ridge in front of her, planting her hooves as she activated the chain gun attached to her armor. She was making progress with the armor piercing rounds on the tank's rear armor as the turret finally rotated around to her. She tried to activate the teleporter but the unit was only at 80% charge. With a grin, she covered her face and continued firing as hellfire poured out of the tank and over her terminator armor. She was rewarded by the sound of an explosion and shrapnel bouncing off her armor as her rounds finally found their mark.

Pinkie saw something blue jet by in the distance. She teleported closer to it and ran as best as she could in the terminator armor, which was not fast at all. She cleared the ridge with her weapon's barrel spinning to see a sarosian lieutenant standing over Rainbow Dash. "The God Empress is dead little pony. Luna shall feast upon your soul in her harems!" the sarosian laughed.

"FOR THE EMPRESS!" Pinkie roared as dozens of rounds spewed out of her weapon into the back of the sarosian. Pinkie only regretted she couldn't see the look on the foul creatures face as it was sent back to the warp. She walked over to help Rainbow Dash.

~*~

Twilight had that feeling that shit was about to hit the fan. A wave of dread was spreading across the planet. The eyes of Luna were upon her; surely she would be here soon. Looking at her chronometer, there were 2 minutes left until lift off, giving them just over 2 and a half minutes before the exterminatus.

Twilight lifted her nemesis force weapon to absorb the eldritch witch's lightning. Her horn and halberd glowing, she retaliated against the servant of Luna with her own mental barrage. With each volley she closed the distance to her target. She had been trained to kill psykers and no amount of magical assault could penetrate her defense. The witch's horn flashed as several rocks flew at her. She ignored the rocks as they bounced harmlessly off her armor. Eldritch energy was crackling off her armor as she closed the distance even further. Her eyes and the holy runes of the Empress carved into her skin were glowing white.

"Spirit of noxious immateria, be gone from hence, for as the Empress of ponies, manifold be her blessings, watches over me, so I will not fear the shadow of the warp." Twilight was nearly 30 feet from the foul witch that had tried to destroy the drop ship. As she continued to chant she raised her fore hooves and all of the eldritch energy surged off her like a waterfall. The witch screamed as her psychic defenses melted under the onslaught, a scream that would have killed any lesser pony. Twilight continued to channel power until she could no longer sense the witch.

~*~

Twilight stood on the ramp of the drop ship and Pinkie carried Rainbow Dash to the drop ship. "You came back with more than just her geneseed, how bad was it?" Twilight inquired. "She took a blade to the chest, knocking out a heart and 2 lungs. She's activated the Sus-an Membrane to enter stasis until we can assess the damage" Pinkie replied.

Shortly behind them came Fluttershy, smoking a cigar and dragging behind her the head of a lesser daemon whose eyes still wept flame. "Flutter, what did I tell you about trophies? All that is tainted with chaos must be purged" Twilight scolded. "Pfft, you’re no fun. I had to fight this beast hand to hand with a bolter and knife after he broke my flamer" she replied as she dropped the head, and kicked it into a nearby ditch.

Bringing up the rear were Applejack and Rarity, arguing over who had gotten the most kills. "Well that's fine 'n dandy sittin' on top of some ruins pickin' off unsuspectin' cultists nice and safe like, but I say that last one was mine. 73-72 I win, you owe me some hard cider" Applejack complained. "Please if you’re not going to let the kills count just because your flailing your chainsword around when I shoot them then I don't really see the point of saving you over and over" Rarity quipped.

Twilight walked up the ramp and closed the hatches. "Cleared for lift off, hard burn. Get us to orbit!" she barked at the pilot. "Roger that, full burn in 3" Spitfire replied. True to her word, a sudden jerk shook the space ponies as the shuttle accelerated to escape velocity in just over 3 seconds. Twilight looked out the window and muttered "Some may question your right to destroy ten billion ponies. Those who understand realize that you have no right to let them live!"

"What was that sugarcube?" Applejack asked. "Nothing Applejack, I was just remembering something the God Empress once told me. I hope next time we can stop the taint of chaos before we have to invoke the exterminatus on a whole planet" Twilight sighed. As the planet was bathed in weapon fire from orbit, she took comfort that the Empress will was done today.

5. Lyra Trolls the Internet :: T/Co

{teen}{comedy}{random}

“Lyra! Come on, we don’t have all night! The gala is in 45 minutes and you signed up to perform!” Bon Bon shouted.

“Just a minute, I’m almost done!” Lyra said.

“That’s what you said two hours ago!” she retorted.

Lyra continued to type away on the keyboard using her magic. Glowing mint green astral hands flowed over the keyboard, her magic typing at break neck speeds.

Lol, Lyra495, dunt be a newb, they’re is no such thung ask humans!

First off, HungLikeAStallion_69, your name, and your argument are an insult to all of Ponydom. Instead of responding to the clearly linked scholarly articles on humans you igno—

“Lyra!” Bon Bon shouted, pulling the plug on the computer.

“NO!” Lyra screamed in her ear, illiciting a painful squeal from her. “HE WAS WRONG! I had to prove him wrong! He’s ruining everything!”

Bon Bon sighed, speaking with the tone of voice one would use with a petulant filly. “Lyra, it’s the internet. You’re arguing with a talking head, an anonymous pony you’ll never meet, over something entirely inconsequential!”

“That’s not true Bon Bon! First off, your name is stupid and your argument is invalid! Instead of addressing my point, you insult me to distract the reader!”

“What bucking reader, Lyra? This is real life!” Bon Bon quickly slaps Lyra on the cheek. “Get ahold of yourself, Mare!”

Lyra bites back a tear and rubs her cheek. “You. . . hit me. But. . . nopony on the internet hits me. . .”

“That’s because you’re acting irrational! Just ignore whats-his-face, he’s not important, this,” she gestured to the powered-off computer, “is not important!”

Lyra began to sob. “B-but he. . . he m-mocked me on my favorite h-human fiction w-website. H-he hurt my f-feelings.”

Bon Bon hugged the mint green mare tightly. “My golden Lyra, it’s okay. It’s just a meanie on the internet. You know I love you, everypony in Ponyville thinks you’re great.”

“B-but T-twilight still s-said. . . h-humans aren’t real. . .”

“Lyra,” she lifted her chin to face her eyes. “Twilight may disagree with you, but she is a real friend, not some pony on the internet. She respects you, loves you, she doesn’t call you names to make you feel like a bad pony. Why would you want to do that back to some troll on the internet?”

“S-so t-they stop m-making f-fun of me. . .”

“Oh, Lyra, come here.” Bon Bon hugged her again and glanced at the clock. The gala began in 15 minutes, barely enough time to get to the castle on time. She patted Lyra on the back.

“Thank you,” Lyra finally said with a sniffle. “I feel better. . .”

“Good, because the Gala is beginning. Are you gonna let this go for me?”

“Y-yes.”

Bon Bon planted a light kiss on her forehead.

The gala had gone excellently. Despite being a background pony, Lyra’s music was exceptional. Whether or not the snooty nobles cared, Lyra knew her Bonnie was in the cloud just to hear her play the lyre.

Lyra headed over for punch during the intermission. “Hey, Berry.”

“Hey, Lyra. It’s lovely to see you here,” Berry said.

“Likewise, how is your vineyard?”

Berry smiled. “We’re now shipping wine to over four countries. Most recently, the Minotaurs began ordering a special vintage of Merlot. They even sent some of their white grapes so I can try creating some new wines.”

“That’s wonderful! I can’t wait for your next wine tasting,” Lyra said.

“I’d love to see you there. Just remember to keep Pinkie away from the wine caskets.”

The two mares laughed at the party pony, who like Vinyl, knew exactly how to party when alcohol was involved.

“I still can’t believe Pinkie made fun of you at the last party, Berry. I would have drank all the punch straight from the bowl too if you hadn’t beat me to it!”

Berry chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t know how she makes such damn-fine non-alcoholic fruit punch. It was funny having the pot call the kettle black though. . . at least, when she is sober she knows I only drink socially.”

Lyra chuckled, hearing a small chime from on stage. “Well, almost time for me to get back to work, see you later.”

Lyra turned around and bumped into a large white unicorn. She immediately recognized him as Blue Blood, and her smile soured.

“Oh, dear, what a lovely unicorn. Tell me, which noble family are you from?” Blue Blood asked.

“Not interested,” Lyra said. She nearly choked on the odor of bourbon on his breath.

“Now, now. Surely you want to hear my proposition to unite our noble houses in matra. . . in marr. . . in sex.”

“Nope.”

Blue Blood stuck his hoof out, blocking her path. “Aww, come on! Won’t you even tell me a little about yourself, sexy?”

Lyra bit back a cruel retort, instead opting for a more peaceful was to de-escalate the situation. “I’m Lyra, I’m a commoner from Ponyville and I play the Lyre. I’m renting a two-star motel to play at the Gala this year. I broke the motel lobby computer arguing over human fiction on my favorite websites. I enjoy long walks on the beach, and stallions with a shred of self-respect.”

She stuck her tongue out, and started to walk around him. “Lyra, I too am a fan of the um. . . human fiction! Why don’t we go back to my room and use my uh. . . computer to talk about it!”

Blue Blood was being a little too obnoxious for Lyra’s tastes. “Okay then, prove it! What’s your name?” she asked.

“HungLikeAStall—”

“Thou did well not to invite the elements, Tia,” Luna whispered.

Celestia sighed. “Don’t remind me. The gala is so much better with them here to cause a little chaos. I might have to reform Discord if I have to sit through one more boring gala.”

Luna chuckled. “We wish to see Discord arrange a gala. Do not fret, dear sister, perhaps Blue Blood will once again ‘cause a little chaos’ for us to enjoy.”

Celestia’s eyes scanned the crowd, landing on Blue Blood. Her Nephew was. . . special. . . She scowled quietly, so only Luna could hear it. “You’re right, looks like he is going to offer us a reprieve.”

Luna turned to face Blud Blood just in time. He said something to a minty green unicorn. Less than half a second later, she had grabbed his front leg and flung him over her shoulder onto the buffet table.

Blue Blood landed on the punchbowl, shattering it. A second later, the table gave beneath his weight, spilling more food, drinks, and two large ice sculptures of the royal princesses onto him.

Celestia and Luna couldn’t hide their laughter from the noble ponies. It was far too loud and unbecoming of royalty. Neither cared.

They watched the unicorn, a tan mare, and the lyre leave the building.

Celestia smiled. “At least the lyrist knows how to love and tolerate”

6 Dexterity: The Serial Killer :: T/Tr

{Grimdark parody} {Tragedy} {Teen}

Flim had gotten into plenty of fights as a traveling sales pony. The throbbing in his forehead right now topped every fight over cider or booze he had ever had. As Flim awoke he could make out a dim ceiling, aged and covered in cobwebs. The world was spinning and coming into focus; He must have had quite a night with his brother. They must have used their cider maker to make hard cider again. No stranger to hangovers, he took a deep breath and tried to sit up. Confused, he looked down to see why his body wasn't obeying him, only to find himself strapped to a table.

"I'm so glad you could join us Flim. For a while I thought I had given you too much tranquilizer. Even your brother screaming for mercy didn’t wake you up." A cold calculating voice spoke softly from the shadows, "did you two really think nopony would notice the mares going missing in each town your little 'cider' squeezer visited?"

"What... there..." Flim felt like he had a mouth full of cotton and struggled to get a better view of his assailant. The voice was coming from across a table with a white cloth laid over it. A single red stain adorned the center of the sheet. "Flam... You're... why are you doing this?" he asked. Deep down he knew what he had done. "Sweet Celestia, you finally caught—"

"Celestia holds no power here!" the white mare barked with emotion as she stepped from the shadows. "Do you see the pictures on the wall? Look at them!"

"I.... but..." The angry white mare slammed Flim’s head to the left against the table. On the walls were pictures of 6 mares, Flim remembered one of them as Cherry Jubilee. A grey one had eyes that seemed to be bouncing around in different directions. He couldn't remember names but he could remember what he and Flam had done to the mares... Flim inhaled deeply as he realized why he was here and tried to summon his magic. Instantly pain racked his brain, spreading down his spine and into his legs.

"Looking for this?" the mare mocked him. She tossed his horn to the ground and smashed it with her hoof. "You murdered these innocent sweet mares, and that was enough for me to put you on my table. What I wasn't expecting was your blubbering brother to admit too much... darker acts before you two killed them."

Flim looked over at his brother and then to the mare in front of him. She had a cold, calculating look in her eye just like his brother when he sized up a mare. This white mare was a cold blooded murderer. Flim thought of the angles he could take to try to appeal to her. She had already killed his brother and altar to the lives he had taken. The mare had gone to great lengths to prepare her own brand of justice. Perhaps if he convinced her that he was a victim? "If you kill me you'll be no better than Flam. All my life I've lived in his shadow, forced to help as he tricked these young mares and—murdered them" Flim said, trying his best to cry.

"No. You and your brother have done something so vile that the only way to protect Equestria is to take your life. Now tell me how sorry you are and I'll make this quick" the mare stepped forward and snipped a lock of hair off of Flim's mane.

"Please... Don't... I'm sorry! Please have mercy on me!" Flim begged, finally able to cry.

"Celestia has mercy, I do not." The mare raised her blade and with a single stroke to his heart she ended the life of another serial killer. Equestria, and mares throughout it, would be safe from scum like Flim and Flam. She wished she had caught on to them when Derpy had vanished. They killed 3 more mares after Derpy and she could have saved them. Those 3 lives weighed heavily on her conscience while a darker voice in her brain rejoiced. She had to keep this dark side fed and in control. She had to channel her urges into something positive to control them. She had to remember who she truly was: Rarity, big sister, and guardian of the innocent.

~*~

"I can't believe Tank is turning 2 years old! This is the best turtle party I've ever thrown" Pinkie exclaimed.

"It's a tortoise… if you don’t mind" Fluttershy corrected.

"Tortoise, turtle, what's the difference? Here have some of my red velvet cupcakes they're the best!" Pinkie shoved one in Fluttershy's mouth.

"Really darling, I wish you wouldn't go around shoving cupcakes at everypony. It's not very ladylike" Rarity stated.

"I'm just glad we have something to celebrate with all the disappearances lately" Twilight broke in.

"Whatever do you mean Twilight?" Rarity asked, fighting the urge to smile.

"Celestia had some royal guards stop by the library earlier. They had heard from the police that Flim and Flam were seen near Ponyville so they came to arrest them. Their super speedy cider squeezy 6000 was found near the Everfree Forest. The princess wanted to question them about some disappearances," Twilight sighed.

"Were they the colts everypony was looking for to question about the mares disappearing?" Rainbow glanced back to Twilight "Derpy disappeared after they visited Ponyville and mares vanished from the next few towns they visited. Sounds to me like they were up to no good and got what they deserved."

"Now Rainbow, that's horrible to say." Rarity fought back another smile at the unintended compliment.  "Just because somepony takes another ponies life doesn't mean something terrible should happen." Rarity could see she had the desired effect on Rainbow. For years Rarity was the reason there were so few murders in Ponyville. When a pony disappeared, she could quickly track down and deal with the culprit.

The party for Tank continued on until late at night at the Carousel Boutique. After everyone had left Rarity let out a sigh of relief and headed for bed. In her bedroom under a false floorboard, she pulled out a simple looking wooden box. She looked at the two newest trophies, two locks of red hair with white stripes. Today had been a good day.

~*~

Rarity was curling her mane and sorting various hair care products with her magic. Since she had started protecting Ponyville the crime rate had dropped to the lowest in Equestria. She hoped that with Flim and Flam out of the way there would be a chance to relax and get back to dress making. Trotting downstairs she wondered which dress she should start with when Applejack burst through the front door.

"Rarity, quick! Ya'll need to get over to Twilight's with us, Big Mac's gone missing!" Applejack blurted out.

Rarity knew that Big Mac was probably asleep in the shade of an apple tree. The other voice in her head suggested that a new murderer was in town. Rarity found herself smiling and said “Don’t worry darling, we’ll find him.”

~*~

At the library Applejack and her friends discussed plans for search parties. "He was 'sposed to be back for dinner after workin' the south field but he didn't come back. I reckon we looked all over Sweet Apple Acres for him but couldn't find him anywhere!" Applejack was barely able to control her emotions.

“I’m sure we will be able to find him, don’t worry yourself," Rarity consoled.

"Yeah, so have some cupcakes to cheer up! These ones have extra extra frosting and extra extra extra sprinkles!" Pinkie gleefully began passing out her cupcakes. Sure enough these were large chocolate cupcakes generously covered in red frosting and green sprinkles.

"I've sent word to Celestia. She has dispatched the royal guard to all the towns in Equestria due to the recent string of murders and disappearances. She has instructed them to follow my orders and aid in the search for your brother, we'll find him Applejack" Twilight assured.

~*~

Rarity paced angrily across the boutique hurling bolts of fabric and spools of thread. With resounding crashes she manifested her anger on anything in range of her magic. So far nopony found Big Mac and to make matters worse Lyra disappeared then the Mayor. As her rage exploded, she flung several of the broken mannequins back across the shop.

This time it was personal; somepony had kidnapped Rainbow Dash. In all the years learning to follow clues and track down serial killers, nopony had ever taken one of her friends. She had caught dozens of evil ponies, followed clues and solved cold cases. So far nopony had left her a clue to follow; it was as if they marched off to their deaths willingly. Big Mac, Lyra, Mayor Mare, Dash… Rarity had personally searched all of their rooms with help from Twilight and found nothing.

Rarity looked around at her destroyed shop, it was clear she was getting nowhere. The weather team had gone to check on Rainbow when she didn’t show up for work this morning. She had been napping in the town square yesterday, how long had she been missing? Was she already dead? Rarity had no answers and realized whoever was out there was every bit as cunning as her.

Twilight, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie were out looking desperately for Rainbow Dash. Applejack was so devastated about Big Mac that she had packed up her whole family and moved to Appaloosa. Rarity had to salvage what was left of her friends, of the elements of harmony...

Rarity stepped out into the night with her saddle bag and her favorite knife. Somewhere, in one of these houses had to be somepony and Rainbow Dash. The beast inside Rarity knew this to be true; it knew that the killer was someone trusted in Ponyville. When it came to matters such as these Rarity had learned to trust that instinct. No struggle meant it was somepony they had trusted. She set off first towards the center of town and Sugar Cube Corner. Maybe Pinkie Pie had some luck in the search for Rainbow Dash. As she approached the house she noticed the closed sign on the front door. It made sense the Cake's wouldn't be taking any chances with their young foal and filly. What she didn't expect was to see Pinkie leap past the kitchen window with a mixing bowl. How could she possibly be looking for Rainbow Dash if she was wasting more time baking those insufferable cupcakes!

Rarity used her magic to break down the locked front door, upset that anypony would be doing less than spending all their effort looking for Rainbow Dash. When she got to the kitchen Pinkie was already gone. She had just been in the kitchen and Rarity could see no trace of her. She felt a nagging in her mind as a voice inside told her to examine the floorboards. She looked around and saw that flour and sprinkles of every color adorned the old pine floorboards. She glanced towards the oven, where there were 4 planks without a single sprinkle on them. Rarity grinned as she realized Pinkie must be hiding in the cellar baking cupcakes instead of searching for Rainbow Dash.

Rarity used her magic to lift up the floorboards and head downstairs, but nothing could prepare her for what she saw next.

~*~

"Please Pinkie... why am I tied up? What's going on? Is this some kind of prank?" Rainbow cried, pure terror in her eyes.

"It's like I told you, you get to make cupcakes because I pulled your number, see!" Pinkie cheerfully pointed out a scrap of paper with ‘42’ on it. "Now you'll make the tastiest cupcakes ever!"

"I don't understand... I can't make cupcakes strapped to a table! And it's really hurting my wings!" Rainbow pleaded. Her eyes bulged in terror as she realized what Pinkie had meant when she invited her over to ‘make cupcakes.’

"Now Rainbow, I don't want you to be scared, I'm just going to take a little piece and figure out what flavor we'll be making!" Pinkie slid a scalpel into Rainbow Dash's flank near her cutie mark, and every muscle in Dash’s body tensed.

"Gasp! Uh—" Pinkie looked down at her chest as a cold chill filled her. Something had hit her in the back, something red was pooling on the floor... with a big grin she collapsed to the ground.

For a minute, Rainbow Dash didn't move, she didn't even open her eyes. She realized Pinkie wasn't talking, and that her flank wasn't feeling any more pain. Two cyan eyelids rose slowly, blinking away the tears. Traumatized by the horror she had just undergone, she began to cry for joy when she saw Rarity slumped on the floor next to Pinkie Pie.

"Rarity!—" Rainbow sobbed and added "I'm—she—oh Celestia, what's happening?"

"Pinkie... why? Why would you do this? Why didn't I figure it out sooner, maybe Lyra and the Mayor would still be here.... how many others?" Rarity questioned the dead mare who up until a minute ago had been one of her best friends. Pinkie Pie had always been one of Rarity’s closest friends and had shared in countless happy memories. She was the element of laughter, throwing parties for everypony, baking cupcakes… If a pony so nice could be this evil, was Rarity any better?

"Uh.... Rarity? I could really use a hoof here. Please? You did what had to be done let's just go get the police—" Rainbow froze when Rarity looked up at her, those weren't the same eyes of the element of generosity she was used to.

"All these years Rainbow—all these years I thought I was protecting innocent ponies. If Pinkie Pie can be a killer too, how am I any better?" Rarity asked, as she began to stitch up the cut on Rainbow's flank with her sewing kit.

"Rarity, if you hadn't killed her she would have killed me, doesn't that make it alright? You're kind of freaking me out here..." Rainbow blubbered.

"Do the ends justify the means Rainbow? It wasn't just Pinkie; I have caught dozens of serial killers before her. I have killed them for the evil they wrought on Equestria. I have weighed each life they took before I caught them against each life I saved.... in the end, am I any different?" Rarity inquired.

"Um..." Rainbow Dash had tensed up. Not only had Pinkie been a serial killer but Rarity too? And now she was stuck here, her savior having an existential crisis? Deciding her only way off this slab was to appeal to her generous side, Rainbow decided to help her through this.

"Rarity please, think of Sweetie Bell and all the other fillies that will be safe now. Think of all the ponies that will be safe for what you did. Just—" Rainbow steeled herself for what she was about to say. "Just let me go, and if you don't want anypony to know about this I won't tell them."

Rarity began removing the straps from Rainbow Dash, and finally admitted "No Rainbow, ponies need to know. Violence and hatred is spreading across Equestria. I thought the solution was to excise it. Go to Twilight, tell her to send a letter to the Princess about this and meet me at my boutique. I have a letter to write to Sweetie Bell.  Celestia willing I may be able to atone for the lives I've taken without taking any more."

The straps were now undone, and as much as Rainbow wanted to comfort her friend, the voice in the back of her head was screaming for her to fly out of that place as fast as she could. "Rarity..." Rainbow began, but was interrupted. "Dash no; I've broken the elements of harmony, only Celestia can save me now, go!" Rarity commanded. Dash took off and flew out of Sugar Cube Corner, leaving Rarity with her thoughts. The control she thought she had over her dark urges to kill had been shattered when she killed one friend to save another.

~*~

Rarity walked through the darkened boutique and levitated a quill to paper.

Deer Sweetie Bell,

I want you to know that you are going to hear some terrible things about me, and I want you to know I did what I did to protect you. What I did was still wrong, I had angry feelings and I didn’t handle them the right way. I hope someday you can forgive me. Stopping violence with violence is no cure. I only hope you will grow up generous, kind, and full of love. You are sweet and innocent, and I will always love you.

-Rarity.

~*~

Twilight walked into the darkened boutique to find Rarity exactly where Rainbow Dash had told her she would. "I couldn't believe what Rainbow Dash told me. I wouldn't have believed her but she had a fresh cut and was sobbing. You and Pinkie are serial killers? " she chided.

Rarity looked up and met Twilight's eyes and even her dark passenger felt a twinge of guilt "I never knew it would go this far" she stated. "I used my evil for good" Rarity said, chuckling "if that even makes any sense."

"You saved lives Rarity, but you also took them and that was wrong. I just want you to know that as angry and disappointed as I am right now, I will still remember you as the generous pony I met when I moved to Ponyville." Twilight tried to comfort her.

"Thank you, for understanding Twilight" Rarity said. She stood up and would have hugged Twilight, but Celestia and Luna were already waiting behind her to take her to Canterlot. She would face trial soon for her crimes. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she approached the princesses and hoped they could help her silence the dark voice in her head.

~*~

A pair of deft hooves sewed flesh as the pony hummed a song. She had cleaned up Pinkie Pie and gotten her ready for the burial. There wouldn't be a burial though; she couldn't stand the thought of any of her friends ever leaving her. Instead an empty casket had been buried, and Pinkie was brought here. Despite being dead she still had that smile on her face and that joy in her eyes. Whether from insanity or laughter, the features had stuck there. As the Pony finished sewing the knife wound up, she took a step back to admire her work.

On a pedestal now stood Pinkie Pie, preserved and not looking much worse for wear. Years of taxidermy had paid off, and she had wondered if she would be ready when the time came to use it on one of her friends. She couldn't bear to let any of her friends go: not a squirrel nor a pony. Every critter she had ever lost was preserved in this room. As Fluttershy stepped out of her shed, she saw an inquisitive Angel tapping his foot impatiently. "Stay out of my shed, Angel" Fluttershy whispered.

8. Rainbow Dash's Unfinished Novel :: E/Sl

{slice of life} {everyone}The Wonderbolt air show Chapter 1

A young blue filly watched with excitement as the Wonderbolts performed for all of Ponyville. Today was the day that Spitfire was going to be performing the greatest move ever! Soarin and the other Wonderbolts began to form a gigantic twister out of storm clouds. The twister bucked wildly around in mid-air, shooting lightning bolts everywhere. Spitfire would fly through the twister, avoiding the lightning and creating a sonic boom to dispel the twister and pull up at the last second over the crowd!

As the fastest pony in Equestria, I knew how hard that would be but if anyone could do it Spitfire could! I watched as she dove, faster and faster, streaking into the eye of the twister. The lightning was flashing quickly as she got nearer, but then one of the Wonderbolts got out of position and a stray lightning bolt hit Spitfire knocking her out! I lept into action, closing the distance hundreds of the feet to the twister and catching Spitfire. I met Soarin and the other Wonderbolts on the ground afterwards.

"Wow Rainbow Dash, you keep on saving us and we're gonna have to make you a Wonderbolt!" Soarin exclaimed. Soarin nudged Spitfire who was dizzy but unharmed, one of the benefits of being a Pegasus was a high tolerance for electricity.

"That's twice now you've saved me Rainbow Dash, and since everypony knows your the only pony to have broken the sound barrier I'd like you to perform this trick for me at Canterlot next week" Spitfire said.

"omigosh omigosh omigosh! Really?" Rainbow proudly asked. "You'd let me join the team and do the grand finale!"

"More then that Dash, I'd like you to be the team captain for the performance. Celestia is going to be at the show and if anypony deserves to lead the Wonderbolts for a week, it's you!" Spitfire admitted.

"This is going to be the BEST WEEK EVER!!!" Rainbow shouted.

~*~

As Rainbow dash sat in her living room looking at her long unfinished novel she wasn't sure what to write next. Sure, she thought, the mare of her story would be the fastest flier in all of Equestria and become the captain of the Wonderbolts... How would she do it though? It was one thing to be awesome, anypony could tell just by looking at her. How would she describe it in her book so everypony could see it?

She thought back to Spike, who had once been her ghost writer. When Applejack had saved his life, Dash remembered about her unfinished novel and wished that she had saved Spike from the timberwolves. Then she could have just had him write the rest of the story. Dash couldn't figure out what was with this dragon code anyway, since she had saved the world and his life before. Why'd he have to choose now to follow the dragon code? And why did she let Applejack talk him out of it? Just yesterday she had pushed Spike out of the way of a run-away apple cart, but he is no longer following the dragon code so literally as to serve her every beck and call.

Well if Spike couldn't help with her unfinished novel, maybe Twilight could. Nopony knew more about books then Twilight, and it would give her a chance to see if the next Daring Do novel had come out. Daring always inspired Dash to spend a little more time reading books. She left the house and flew down to Ponyville and to Twilight's library before tapping on the glass to her bedroom. Twilight was sitting at her desk reading a book titled "A brief history of time, by Stephen Colting". It was beyond her how anypony could read such boring history books when so many adventure novels were in the library!

Twilight looked up from her book "Oh hi Rainbow Dash, what are you up to today?"

"Oh nothing much, I got bored of practicing all my super awesome moves and decided to work on my unfinished novel" she replied as she shrugged, making it look like writing a novel wasn't difficult at all. "I just thought I'd drop by and see if the new Daring Do novel is out yet."

"No Rainbow, I keep telling you it'll be out this summer. The pony who writes it has writer's bit" she replied sharply. "Now I have a lot of reading to..." she was quickly interrupted by Dash "So Twilight, what's a writer's bit?"

"It's when somepony can't think of anything else to put in their novel, sort of like you and that book about the 'awesomest fastest flier in all of Equestria' " Twilight mocked.

"Hey! I can think of plenty of things to put in my novel, I'm just too busy practicing tricks to impress the Wonderbolts! But uh... how's somepony going to figure out how to finish the Daring Do novel then?" Rainbow dash fidgeted around a little, hoping Twilight hadn't caught on that she was really trying to get advice for her own novel. Twilight finally took her eyes off of her book and looked at her, seeing her fidgety forelegs.

"Well.... 'somepony' would go around and look for some inspiration, maybe tour some ruins to get ideas for Daring Do... or just fly around until 'somepony' got a good idea for her novel" Twilight added, barely able to keep her smirk from turning into a full blown smile.

"Oh, well let me know when it comes out, gotta run!" Rainbow shouted as she had already started to fly away. She had been embarrassed when she had to admit how awesome reading was after giving Twilight such a hard time. If she had to admit to her how much her unfinished novel was bugging her.... she couldn't bear the thought! She was the awesomest pony in Equestria, the only one to do a sonic rainboom, the element of loyalty! If anypony could finish their novel it'd be her!

As she flew along she began to pick up speed, if inspiration was what she needed then surely doing a sonic rainboom would give her all sorts of ideas for her novel. Approaching Apple Acres she continued to speed up, the wind pulling back at her mane until it felt like she was pushing her way through a vat of glue. Squinting against the wind, her wings beating furiously she felt the resistance build more and more. This was the moment of truth, the air was so palpable that she felt like she could tear a hole in it. Focusing on a point in front of her, she reached out her hooves, took a deep breath, and flapped with all her might.

In a split second, she had penetrated the sound barrier. As Rainbow flew along, outrunning the sound of her own sonic rainboom, she realized how her novel should end! Sure there was still that whole part in the middle of the novel to take care of, but how hard could that be? She had a beginning and an end, the rest would be a piece of cake!

Realizing how hungry her flight had made her, she circled back around to Apple Acres to see if the Apple family was eating dinner yet. She was no Pinkie Pie, but she was proud of the fact that nopony could hide the smell of a fresh baked meal from her Pegasus sense of smell. Slowing down she could see the last bits of the rainboom vanishing into the air and landed outside Applejack's house.

"Well I reckon that's her now Granny smith, she was loud enough to peel paint off the barn!" Applejack exclaimed.

"Hey Applejack! I couldn't help but notice some of that apple pie cooling on the windowsill" Dash grinned.

"What did I tell ya about doing sonic rainbooms so close to the house?" Applejack snorted.

"That it was TOTALLY AWESOME and COOL!" Rainbow excitedly added. "I don't suppose you wanna let this one slide if I promise to do it over the south field next time?"

"Ah swear Dash, sometimes ah wonder what's goin' on in that head o' yours. One of these days your gonna scare somepony into the hospital, or knock out our windows again. Ah reckon' you can have a piece of pie but you should head back home and work on that novel instead of trying to impress everypony" Applejack added knowingly.

"Pfft that's totally not what I was gonna do tonight Applejack" she denied. "And just because I asked you to make Spike finish my novel for me doesn't mean I don't know how to end it! In fact I just thought of the perfect final chapter."

"And let me guess, ya'll are gonna do a rainboom so spectacular that all o' Canterlot is in awe and the princess makes you captain of the Wonderbolts?" Applejack sarcastically added.

"What? No way! I'm WAY too cool to have such a cheesy ending" she replied defensively. Dash stood there for a minute as Applejack sized her up. There was no lying to that pony, and somehow she had hit the nail on the head about how she wanted to end her novel. "So I'll take some of the pie now, thanks, and head off. I've got some serious napping to do if I'm going to be at my best for Owlilicious' birthday party tonight."

"All right Rainbow, and remember not so close to the house" Applejack implored, sure that Rainbow had already tuned her out as she flew off with 2 pieces of apple pie.

After some apple pie and a 1... maybe 4 hour nap, Rainbow stretched and yawned. Sitting on her living room desk was the quill and parchment Twilight had given her when she expressed her desire to "write a book 20% cooler than Daring Do!" Twilight had been so amused that she readily gave her 4 quills and 10 rolls of parchment, and sent Spike out to restock her library at Sofas & Quills. Rainbow Dash had been so embarrassed at Twilight's glee that she hadn't often mentioned the unfinished novel since then.

Rainbow was loyal to her friends and loved spending time with them, but she always worried that she would fail them. If she couldn't finish this book, Twilight would probably stop letting her hang out at the library so much. Everypony would hear about how she couldn't finish the book, and Applejack would get that mischievous grin of hers when she finished her novel first. Rarity would probably shout "this is the worst... possible... thing!" and pass out, while Fluttershy and Pinkie would probably wonder why she hadn't mentioned her novel to them before. "Ugh, pleasing everypony can be a hard thing to do" she mumbled to herself as she sat down and began to write the last chapter.

~*~Final Chapter, Canterlot Grand Finale

Rainbow Dash stepped onto the stage, flanked by Soarin and Spitfire who had insisted on being her wingpony after she told her the new idea she had for the finale. "That's going to be a trick people will remember the Wonderbolts for forever!" Spitfire had gasped. "I have to help you pull it off if your going to get that kind of speed."

As Rainbow stood there, Celestia watched from her private balcony. Thousands of ponies were cheering for the fastest flier in Equestria. Rumors had been spread about the finale that she had planned, as well as the fact that Spitfire had made her captain for the week. In the stands were her friends from Ponyville to cheer her on. She could almost swear she heard Fluttershy cheering. She pulled the green tinted flight goggles down over her eyes and smirked. Standing there in the hoof-made blue flight suit with the golden Wonderbolt insignia, she had finally realized her dream. This was going to be the best airshow ever!

Leaping into the air the routine began. Warming up with some easy tricks, Rainbow was soon spiraling through the air. Approaching Sorain and Spitfire rapidly she sailed within inches of them before diving towards the ground. As their rainbow and smoke contrails mixed they corkscrewed tighter and tighter together. Forming a solid formation, they used their hind legs to kick apart from each other and rocketed apart above the stands. The ponies below cheered wildly at Rainbow Dash, and feeling the adrenaline she knew it was time for the grand finale.

After giving Spitfire the signal, Rainbow dash did her signature super speed strut to get everyponies attention, then the buccaneer blaze. The ponies below hadn't even noticed the giant twister Spitfire and Soarin had formed until the lightning began to crack through the sky. As everypony looked at the looming black twister that shot lightning around the edges, Rainbow zoomed straight up to gain altitude.

Looming over the storm twister, Rainbow could see the eye of the twister far below.  She would dive down, performing a sonic rainboom in the middle of the twister causing an explosive rainbow and thunderous noise that nopony would ever forget. Her heart beat like a hummingbird, threatening to steal her resolve as she prepared to dive. Sweat trickled down her now matted mane, and she wiped her flight goggles that had begun to fog up. This was the moment she would go into the history books. The crowd below had now fixed their attention on her, a small blue dot in the evening sky, and she folded her wings to her side and began the dive.

As everypony silently looked upon her, she plummeted like a rock, conserving her energy until gravity could accelerate her no further. As she neared the cloud she began to flap her wings mercilessly, beating the air into submission. She was going to get every bit of speed possible, shatter the sound barrier and give Princess Celestia a show the like of which she had never seen in thousands of years of life. She felt the familiar thickening of the air, as if it couldn't get out of her way fast enough. She fought back as the air tugged against her skin, stretching her forelegs out in front of her into a spear. She was close now, the sound deafening, the air fought with everything it had, and then it happened.

Rainbow burst through the eye of the twister and simultaneously performed her sonic rainboom. As she veered to the left through the wall of the twister, she slowed down to just below the speed of sound then speed up breaking the sound barrier again. She had just performed the double rainboom, and nopony would ever be able to steal her place as the most awesome, fastest, coolest pony in all of Equestria!

Two rings of brilliant color spread out through the air, with lightning arcing between them. The entire audience was stunned silent, and a rush of cool air hit them like a wall of water blowing all of their manes back. The power and beauty of it brought tears to Celstia's eyes.

Rainbow landed as the cheering crowd rushed to congratulate her, and Princess Celestia stepped forward.

"My little pony, that was a full rainboom, all the way... a double sonic rainboom all the way! no way..." Celestia stopped as she fought back tears. "Whoa, that was so intense."

"omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh" Rainbow chanted not believing what she was hearing from Celestia.

"You are without a doubt the fastest, most awesome flier in all of Equestria Rainbow Dash. It is with great honor that I pronounce you co-captain of the Wonderbolts and the best flier in Equestria!" Celestia exclaimed, using the royal Canterlot voice her sister was so fond of.

"BEST! DAY! EVER!" Rainbow screamed with glee, as Spitfire, Sorain, Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Applejack tossed her into the air and carried her off to her "Best flier in Equestria Party" that Pinkie was throwing.

~*~

Rainbow dash leaned back exhausted, noticing that Tank was sitting on the table watching her write the novel. It was hard to believe only a week ago she had told Applejack and Rarity about her unfinished novel. Now that she had a first and last chapter, it would be super easy to finish the novel now. Kicking her hooves up on the table she got comfortable and closed her eyes to take a quick nap. Owlilicious had a party later tonight and she was sure when she told everypony about the awesome ending to her book, they would all want a copy. Just a couple more weeks, she'd tell them, and she'd have the best selling novel in all of Equestria.

Rainbow dash fell asleep with a wide grin on her face. Tank slowly crawled over to the quill and dipped it in the inkwell. Someone had to help Rainbow Dash finish her novel, and if he left it in her hands it'd never get done. With a very slow grin, he began to work on all those "pesky middle chapters" and correct her grammar. Tank was happy to be the best pet in all of Equestria.

9 Rarity's Revenge: Dodge Junction :: E/Co

{comedy}{slice of life}{everyone}

It had been a couple months since Rarity had been stranded near Dodge Junction with only Pinkie Pie for company. They had to walk through the desert for a couple hours to get back to town, and then rent a handcar to get to Ponyville. There wouldn’t be another train until tomorrow, and once somepony told Pinkie that the nickname for a handcar was a “Kalamazoo” she had to listen to her go on for an hour about Kalamazoo this and Kalamazoo that. Then it was chimi cherry or cherry changa…

Rarity had sworn revenge on Rainbow Dash for abandoning them while chasing down Applejack. At first she had been planning a series of elaborate acts of revenge, but had finally settled on something more subtle…

~*~

Spike was flying through the air, listening for the sound of screaming. Spreading his massive wings out, he dove down towards the source of the noise. He could see a cowering pony, surrounded by timber wolves. “Hang on Rarity!” he bellowed, taking a deep breath. The wolves were oblivious of the purple dragon overhead, as he shot out green fire igniting 2 of them and sending the other 3 fleeing. After the 2 burning wolves had jumped into a nearby stream, Spike was alone with Rarity at last.

“Oh Spike darling, you’re my hero! You simply must allow me to reward you” Rarity blubbered, holding back tears. Spike closed his eyes and leaned forward… Rarity opened her mouth and shouted “SPIKE! GET THE DOOR!” Spike’s right eye popped open to a confused looking Rarity. “SPIKE! It’s almost noon get out of bed!” and as Spike turned around there was an annoyed looking Twilight and several woodland critters fleeing for their lives.

“Ugh…” Spike rubbed his eyes and rolled over in his bed “Twilight, I wouldn’t need to sleep in until noon if you hadn’t wanted me to sort all the books alphabetically by Author’s maiden name last night.”

“Well somepony must have left the front door locked and I have to finish this dissertation on the origin of the elements of harmony for the princess” Twilight replied calmly.

The knocking started up again but much closer this time, Spike looked over to the window to see a frizzy rainbow mane and 2 bright magenta eyes pressed against the glass. “Hey Twilight, Spike! The new Daring Do came out today; do you have my copy ready so I can read it?” Rainbow inquired.

“Actually Dash, Rarity stopped by earlier this morning and borrowed the whole series. I never would have figured her for the…” Twilight was interrupted by a panicked looking Rainbow Dash. “She what! I’ve been waiting months for the next novel, it’s supposed to be the best book in the series!”

“Well maybe you should go over and ask her to borrow it, after all she is probably still on the first book” she responded, but the window was already vacant. “Spike will you close that window for me? Spike?” After looking back Twilight could see that he was already fast asleep again. She heard a click and a “who” as the window closed. “Thanks Owlilicious” she replied, sighing at Spike. There were some battles even she couldn’t win, and as long as Spike was asleep she just might finish her dissertation for the princess and have time to start reading Starswirl the Bearded’s “The fabric of space time, unabridged edition.”

~*~

Rainbow Dash landed in front of Carousel Boutique and walked in past the open sign. She saw Rarity hard at work on a rainbow colored dress. She sighed, this is just what she needed right now. Her birthday was tomorrow and Rarity doubtless wanted to size some frilly girly dress to make Rainbow wear. As she pondered what Daring would do to get the book without getting stuck as a pin cushion for a crazed fashionista, she approached.

Glancing around the room the books were nowhere in sight, it was never that easy. “Hi Rarity, I came by to get the new Daring Do book, you know, kingdom of the ebony heart” she added.

“Oh Rainbow! I’m so glad you’re here; I have to get you sized for your birthday dress. I figured the only way I’d get you to sit still long enough was if I borrowed that dusty old book. And I must say that the way Ahuizotl traps her in a tomb before revealing—”

Rarity was quickly interrupted by Dash “STOP! I’ll let you size the dress just no spoilers. Also, could you make it a little cooler? With all those frills and laces you’d think somepony had never met me before.”

“Oh, well the customer is always right… Here, why don’t we get this sized and then I can make some modifications” Rarity fused. “After the whole incident with Hoity Toity I’d think you would have a little more faith in my designs.”

Rarity did have a point there, Rainbow conceded; if anypony knew fashion was it was her. With a dejected look on her face, she stepped up onto the pedestal next to the dress and allowed Rarity to put it on. She had zoned out, wondering what kind of artifact the ebony heart in the next novel would be. Would Daring Do take it back to a museum to be preserved, or would it turn out to be some dark artifact that had to be destroyed? And how had Ahuizotl escaped after Daring Do had her locked in prison?

As Rainbow stood there her skin crawled against all the satin and lace of the dress. Being friends with such a generous pony was nice, but sometimes she was a little too generous with her elaborate dresses. She noticed Rarity levitating a bottle over with her magic and a bit of fabric. “Hey Rarity, what’s that?” she inquired. She could already smell a bit of the pungent odor coming off the cloth

“wait.. ah” Rainbow quickly collapsed asleep on the floor. Rarity began the task of moving her upstairs to the bedroom while she prepared to get her revenge on Rainbow Dash.

~*~

Pinkie Pie hopped happily along the main street of Ponyville. She loved everypony and every party, but tomorrow was Rainbow Dash’s party and nothing was better than a big, cool, rock and roll party. She had already stashed cakes, streamers, confetti, and party cannons all around Ponyville in preparation. Her last stop was Rarity’s, who had generously offered to hold the party at her boutique.

As Pinkie approached, she stopped and took note of the closed sign on the door. Rarity shouldn’t be closed yet, so she paced around looking for an open window but couldn’t find one so she settled on a drain pipe.

Rarity was upstairs, making Rainbow’s dress 20% frillier and giving her a hooficure. She would be the most girly looking pony at her party tonight, and that would drive her crazy. She then heard a loud bang and what sounded like broken dishes downstairs in the kitchen. With a sigh she got up and left the bedroom, locking the door behind her. That was undoubtedly Pinkie Pie, nopony else could enter and leave a locked building at will like that pony.

“RARITY! I’m so glad to see you! I was outside and the door was locked and I was worried you forgot about the party, and then I thought you’d gone to get a present but that’s silly because everypony knows that the stores are closed on Sunday so I…” Pinkie was interrupted by Rarity, who knew from experience she would be here all day otherwise.

“Pinkie, I’m so glad you could make it but you’re earlier than I expected. Like we discussed, Rainbow wants to party all night long for her birthday. The guests will be here at 6” Rarity added.

“Oh I know that, I just came by to make sure everything is set up for tonight. It’s going to be the best party ever! The Wonderbolts accepted the RSVP, and everypony in town wants to come, and all of our pets will be here and Twilight says that Luna might even stop by if she is not too busy!” Pinkie rambled on “So why did you close up the shop so early?” she asked, tilting her head.

“Well I can’t have the shop messy for the party and I need to work on my mane” Rarity stated.

“Your mane looks fine Rarity, nothing like my mane. No matter how many times I wash it it still smells like cotton candy” Pinky sighed.

“That would be because you have cotton candy scented shampoo Pinkie” Rarity rolled her eyes.

“Oh that’s right! Well then, if everything’s ready here I’ll just head out to round everypony up” Pinkie exclaimed, before jumping back into the sink.

“No wait Pinkie!” Rarity shouted, but it was already too late. She would have opened a window or a door, but Pinkie had already vanished, presumably down the sink. “Well, that’s Pinkie Pie.”

~*~

Rainbow stirred in bed, she had clearly been taking a nap again but something in her mind was nagging her that this was all wrong. Had she overslept her birthday party? Looking outside it was already sunset, so she hopped out of bed and looked around for a clock. That’s when she noticed the mirror, and a small note on it.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

You abandoned me in Dodge Junction with Pinkie Pie, covered in dirt! It took me weeks to fix my mane. Well I’m throwing you a very special party to celebrate, I do hope you enjoy it.

-Rarity

~*~

Rainbow Dash looked in the mirror in horror. She first noticed her eyelashes, she never curled them or thought much of them for that matter. Now they were almost an inch longer and curled. Her eyelids had pink makeup that matched her iris and she had on matching lipstick. Her cheeks glistened with a blushing shade of pink. Then she saw her hair.

Her beautiful mane had been braided, shaking the tiara off she could see that no hair had been missed. Dozens of long, elegant braids ran through her mane, down over the dress…

Rainbow gasped in horror at the frills and lace. Smooth pink satin flowed down her flanks, with yellow lace and white frills. Small pastel flowers adorned the sides, it was doubtless the kind of dress Rarity or Fluttershy would wear but this was WAY to uncool for her. She needed something awesome, radical, streamlined…

Starting to panic her gaze finished drifting downwards to her beautifully hooficured hooves. Pink nail polish had been applied to her delicately trimmed hooves. “Nopony touches my hooves!” she thought. Not even bothering to examine her braided tail, she decided it was time to get out of here. She looked at the window, her birthday party was any minute and was at Carousel Boutique. She had to get out of here before anypony saw her. Losing control, she struggled to rip the dress off, when she noticed her wings.

Her wings were inside the dress! She tried everything to get the dress off but Rarity must have anticipated this. Losing all sanity, she rushed to the window to jump out and run off before everypony saw her wearing half the pink cloth in the boutique. The window was securely locked, that’s when she turned slowly to the door. Surely if Rarity had gone through this much trouble, than everypony in town would be waiting downstairs to surprise her. Taking a deep breath, she thought back to Daring Do and the Temple of Doom. She could do this, she could sneak out before anypony saw, maybe get to Snips parent’s clothing store and get some scissors.

The door creaked open as she pushed it with her muzzle. No light shone through the door, and the creaking was amplified by the sound of her heartbeat. Finally sure that nopony had heard the door open she crept out into the dark hallway. She looked around, figuring she was on the second floor. There should be a bathroom and another window to the left, so she tiptoed across the floorboards. It seemed like every floorboard there creaked as if a manticore was standing on it. She paused every couple of steps to make sure Rarity hadn’t heard her. Getting to the door she found it was locked, much to her dismay.

There was only one other option now, and that was to head downstairs. As she approached the stairs she could hear some hushed murmuring. The lights were out, and everypony in town must be there waiting for Rainbow to walk through the front door. “This is great” she thought, but if everypony thought she was coming through the front door maybe she could sneak out the back. All she had to do was sneak downstairs, past the ponies in the dark, and out the back.

As she crept down the stairs she could feel every eye in the room on her. Surely they had to notice her? Hear her heartbeat? Her lungs began to burn as she realized she hadn’t been breathing. Afraid to gasp for air, she inhaled slowly and took a few more steps. She had reached the bottom of the stairs, and slowly crept towards the back door. Careful to use the party tables as cover, she was nearly there.

At the back door, Rainbow gingerly bit the door handle and pulled the door open.

“SURPRISE!!!” Pinkie shouted at the top of her voice from the other side of the back door.

“GAH!!!” Rainbow leapt backwards from the pink pony. How had she been outside in the backyard? Was she in on it too?

“Rainbow silly, the party is that way!” Pinky exclaimed “And I just love your dress!”

“My….” Rainbow was at a loss for words as the lights came on and she heard a gasp from behind her. Everypony in town slowly turned around to catch the pony that had tried to sneak out of her own surprise party.

“She must have thought the back door was the front door or maybe she had too many naps or smelt all those delicious cherry changas that Rarity baked!” Pinkie was already bouncing several feet in the air out of joy, but everypony else wasn’t quite sure what to make of Rainbow dash. Braided hair, pink satin, painted hooves…

“Well… your dress is… um… certainly something” Fluttershy meekly said, breaking the tension in the air.

“Why yes I’d say it is!” Rarity chimed in with a smile so big it looked like she could have fit a whole cake in there like Pinkie often did. “Rainbow has had me working for weeks to get this dress just perfect for her party!”

As if on cue, Vinyl Scratch popped up behind the DJ booth and started bobbing her head to a deep Rock ‘n Roll beat. Dash had loved Rock ‘n Roll once Lyra had introduced her to it. Vinyl, or DJ Pon3 as she liked to be called at parties, was quick to get on board. Glad for a reprieve as everypony started to mingle, Rainbow made her way over to Rarity.

“I can’t believe you! Sticking me in this girly outfit, in front of everypony in town!” Rainbow stated indignantly.

“Oh Rainbow, dear, do lighten up. Trust me when I say this is nothing compared to the sweat and sand and 4 hours on a hand cart…” Rarity was interrupted by Pinkie shouting “KALAMAZOO!”

“Um, yes a Kalamazoo. Anyway you look simply smashing, every colt in the room will want to go home with you after the party” Rarity added.

Rainbow Dash knew when she had been beat, but she also knew Rarity. She was sure with a little help from Pinkie she could get Rarity back for this. At least the Wonderbolts weren’t here to see this.

“Rainbow Dash!” Spitfire exclaimed, trying not to chuckle and failing. “When I got the RSVP from Pinkie Pie for your party I must say, I never expected this!”

Rainbow Dash wasn’t sure what to say, Rarity may be getting her revenge and she was furious to look so uncool in front of the Wonderbolts… At the same time though, not many ponies could say they got to hang out with the Wonderbolts at their birthday party. With the thoughts of vengeance fading, Rainbow grinned and replied “Yeah, well I owed Rarity a favor for leaving her in Dodge Junction last year so I’m modeling one of her new dresses…”

“Well, that’s understandable, say when the party is overcome find me and I can show you a few tricks from the next airshow. You might need to take that off though” Spitfire pointed at her dress which was pinning her wings to her side.

“Yeah it was uh…” Rainbow scratched her mane, remembering about all the braids “made for earth ponies.”

“Rainbow, you look incredible. I must say when I sent you here to get that copy of Daring Do back I didn’t think you’d have to go this far” Twilight joked.

Spitfire had already wandered off, so Rainbow turned to look at her friends. “Ah reckon ah must have bucked too many apples today and am seein’ things. Ain’t never seen you in anything quite so…. Fetchin’” Applejack added.

“Well you know what they say, when you’re this cool you can pull off any outfit” Rainbow tried to look confident, but that wasn’t easy when it felt like you were wearing a pink cloud.

“Well Rainbow, do relax and enjoy the party. We have kumquats, cherry changas, chimi cherries, and I do say Pinkie has taken quite a liking to those ‘pixie stix’ over there” Rarity gabbed. “And after all, you wanted to have an all-night party, so you’ll have plenty of time to talk to everypony in town!”

Rainbow sighed dejectedly; this was going to be a very long night.

10 You Marry the Mane 6 :: T/Ro - 2nd person

{Teen}{Comedy}{Romance}{No clop, pinkie promise}

Rolling over in bed, you feel the hooves of a mare holding you tight. You were a lucky stallion, to become alpha male in the mane 6's herd. Every stallion in Equestria knew your name, but they preferred to call you "the stallion who mounted the elements of harmony" or "luckiest stallion ever." What you never expected was how difficult it was to please 6 mares with such different personalities. Your herd was as often a war zone as a harem, with a well-chosen word being the difference between love and war.

Opening up your eyes, you turn and nuzzle Pinkie Pie. She was normally a very hyper-active pony, but you made sure she would sleep well last night. As you smelled her cotton candy scented hair, you noticed it had flattened out and was straight. There was something else in the scent, something wasn't right here. . .

Carefully sliding out of bed, you were able to make it to your desk without disturbing the mare. Looking at the calender you saw a single red dot next to today's date. It was that time of the month: the mares were in heat. If you had any hope of survival it was to make it out of the house safely before the mares woke up.

Turning around you considered grabbing your saddlebags; You would need some bits for your impromptu "guys day out." Pinkie was already stirring around in bed having noticed you were no longer there. No time for that you think to yourself. Heading for the door, each step makes a painful creaking noise on the old wood flooring. Pinkie gets closer and closer to waking up. . . finally you're through the doorway, careful not to shut the door to hard.

Passing by Twilight's open door on the right you see the curtains drawn, and Spike sleeping on his bed. "Spike!" you whisper. You consider just grabbing him with your magic and helping him make his escape too. Before you can, you notice Twilight passed out on her desk over some dusty book. It doesn't look like she is sleeping comfortably, and if anypony can stop your great escape it would be her. Better luck next time Spike.

From the door across the hall on the left, you can hear the hoof steps of Applejack. She was always early to rise, and had the stamina of 10 mares. . . not that it was an issue for a stallion such as yourself. Quickly trotting down the hall you hear her door open behind you. Without a second thought you use your magic to open the door to the foal's room and shut it behind you.

In front of you are 3 fillies and 2 colts, the first additions to your herd. As long as none of them wake up you won't be caught. You listen as Applejack trots to Pinkie's room, probably looking for you. Next you hear her approach Twilight's room. At least she's hunting me down quietly.

You watch as the sun's rays from the window get closer and closer to Twilight's sleeping filly. Behind you the hoof steps of Applejack stop in front of the foal's room. please Celestia, don't let her check in here. The hoof steps continue to the next door. Thank you Celestia, remind me to send you an extra Hearth's Warming Eve gift this year.

You listen intently to guess how far away Applejack is, when you hear a filly stirring. With the bright sun in her eyes, Midnight Sparkle begins crying. Y tu Celestia? With not a moment to lose, you open the door and leap over the railing to the first floor. You barely manage to cushion your fall with magic, as you hear more crying and hoof steps from upstairs. The door is right in front of you, but it's plainly visible from the foal's room.

The only way out is the back door, past her room. Luckily for you, it takes an act of Celestia to wake that mare up. She is into mares and stallions, which is great lest her voracious appetite drain you of your stamina. Everyone has limits. Carefully you make your way towards the back door, looking to your left to see 2 passed out mares. One sports a rainbow mane, the other an electric blue mane. The floor is littered with bottles. Note to self, have a talk to Dash about her drinking when she isn't hung over or in heat.

Walking forward you hit a bottle you hadn't seen due to your, shall we say "interest," in the two passed out mares. With a loud clinking, it ricochets off several other bottles. Your heart stops, but with the crying and shuffling upstairs nopony seems to notice. You slowly open the back door with your magic, levitating the bottles out of the way. You freeze as you hear a humming that could only be Fluttershy. She must have gotten up early to feed the animals.

Without thinking you dive into Dash's room and slam the door. Just like you expected the 2 mares are too drunk to wake up from the noise. You hear Fluttershy expressing her disappointment at all the stray glass bottles rather politely, as she cleans them up.

Realizing you are now in a pitch black room, full of glass bottles and DJ'ing equipment you do what any sensible stallion would do. With a hoof you flick the light switch so you don't kill yourself trying to walk to the window. It only takes a second to realize your mistake.

Like any good house built in Equestria, each room has outlets controlled by the switch next to the light switch. You never understood why, except so somepony can accidentally turn the power off when your busy. In this case, that switch was connected to a subwoofer, several speakers, and a mixer deck. Slamming the switches back down, you manage to silence the music after only one ridiculously loud 'wub'. Locking the door, you sigh and do it the hard way.

You don't know which switch is the light and which the stereo is hooked up to. With nothing but some magic from your horn to illuminate your path, you begin trudging through bottles to the far window. The constant sound of glass bottles clinking into each other is interrupted by a groan and another horn lighting up the room.

"Sup, you come to get a little of the action Dash is always talking about?" Vinyl looks straight at you with a predatory grin.

Taking your sudden loss for words as an invitation, as if that rough and tumble DJ would wait for one, she pounces on you. In your current distracted state your unable to maintain the light spell you had been casting, or cast anything else for that matter. There is a very horny unicorn keeping you pinned to the ground. You flail around, bottles clinking wildly as you try to claw your way out.

The lights flip on. A hungover cyan pegasus looks over to see her mare friend and husband engaging in a rather intimate act. Her sense dulled by the hangover, it takes Dash awhile to put two and two together, almost giving you time to explain.

"Wait, this isn't what it looks like! I just wanted to go for a walk and uh... get everypony muffins!"

"Oh, so you weren't trying to steal my marefriend and sneak out of the house without feeding and changing the babies? After all, the big strong stallion should have to pull his weight around the house too. Isn't that right Vinyl?" Rainbow Dash looked at the DJ and you saw that look. You know, the look mares use to say something without saying it out loud.

"I think somepony needs to be punished Dash." It doesn't take a genius to figure out what a mare like Vinyl has planned.

"I agree, and then we'll let the rest of the gals know what our brave stallion was really up to this morning while they did the chores!" Rainbow Dash began pulling restraints out of the closet and Vinyl cast a familiar silencing spell on the room.

If there was any blood left in your brain, you'd cast a teleport spell and get out of here. It's becoming rather hard to focus breathing in all the pheromones. With a sigh you resign to your fate. As if chores, 5 babies, and 6 wives wasn't enough, you were now trapped with 7 mares in heat.

This was going to be one of those days.

12 Typoglycemia :: Fun Concepts

A/N This story takes advantage of how the mind perceives written language. Nicknamed Typoglycemia. You can still read a story when the letters are scrambled, so long as the first and last letter remain the same. Using context and process of elimination, your brain sub-conciously deciphers the words for you.

Unscrambled version follows in case it doesn't 'work'. It's still a relatively unstudied phenomena, being mostly used as a joke. (I could also just be insane.)  Enjoy.

Tgwiihlt Slkprae sat in fornt of the fpalierce wtih her fndeirs and Spkie. "So, taht's why I tinhk Celtseia is bset pnoy, how auobt you Rbnoaiw Dsah?"

"Wlel oviobsuly it's Srtfipie, Cipaatn of the Wondlberots! She is asmlot as fsat as me, in fcat she panelslroy itneivd me to tehir ttroyus ltear tihs yaer. It's gonig to be so awoemse! I can purtcie it now, soinrag tgruohh the sikes, a rbaoinw preices teuhndr cluods, and a ginat snioc rbooinam!"

"Ugh taht's so oivbous." Rtariy reolld her eeys at the psirtmaic pnoy. "Clelary you've neevr been to a clnoeartt fsiahon sohw. Hioty Ttioy is the bset pnoy, he lvies and bhtraees fosaihn. His wentir lnie of cihnotlg atesobully aamezd erveopyny! I catered oevr hlaf of tshoe dessres for him."

"um... I thnik Big Mascnitoh is bset pnoy." Ftherstluy bluehsd, and hid bihend her fwnilog pnik mnae. Fshttlurey had a cusrh on the lgrae red soaitlln for mohtns, hwevoer she was ariafd to aaopcrph him.

"I tnihk Droscid is bset pnoy! I jsut lvoe his vicoe, and the coaoclhte rian, and now taht we romfered him, he pisermod to aalwys add wipehpd caerm wehn he mkaes it rian! And taht deep vioce, it caonmdms reecspt! Lkie smoe knid of msiichevous diety form aegs psat. Puls cadny cnaes, splarasriala, slrkpaes, blolonas, cftetnoi, and ccukapes! And he bhogut me a new ptray cnnaon!" Piinke Pie kpet bunnicog aurond the room lnsitig the mnay awsoeme tirats of Dscriod, wihle the oehtr penois irnegod her.

"Wlel I rokcen Lnua is bset pnoy. Tehre ain't neevr been a pnoy taht has wkored so hrad to ccreort her mitaesks. Eevr scine we datfeeed Nthgmirae Moon, she has wokred day and nihgt to rdeeem hreslef. Taht's mhgtiy abdiramle."

"Eovenyrpy is wnrog. Rtriay is bset pnoy. Taht biutfeual bule mnae, toshe clurs, tsohe cruvy fanlks and taht polt--" Skipe was iptunerrted by Tgiwhilt siikcntg a hoof in his motuh.

"Ha ha. Skipe, you are eaasmrnbrsig yeouslrf aagin. Slily dorgan, aalyws jkonig aoubt yuor uh... fanlk." Thilgiwt girennd sihelpehsy at Rtiary, who was scutk bteewen fleetatrd and cnousefd at the draogn's biorlnrede lwed cmmneots.

"Tohu are all wrnog! Cellray the bset pnoy is Siinnhg Amorr. Had my sitesr not itenrvened, I wuold hvae bnihesad Cdenace and teakn him as my hnsbuad!"

Eeyprvony gpeasd at the univeintd gesuts sinntadg bhenid tehm. Cleietsa bkore the akrwawd scenile. "Epnvoyery is bset pnoy. I lvoe all of my ltitle pnoies the smae."

Ctlieesa leaend dwon to Tlhwiigt's ear and werpihsed. "You csohe wlel Tigiwlht Skprlae. Had I not been yuor chicoe for bset pnoy, I wulod hvae snet you bcak to mgaic kdenerargitn."

Unscrambled version (in case the trick didn't work. It did start as an email joke/hoax after all. It isn't a well-studied field of neurology yet.)

Twilight Sparkle sat in front of the fireplace with her friends and Spike. "So, that's why I think Celestia is best pony, how about you Rainbow Dash?"

"Well obviously it's Spitfire, Captain of the Wonderbolts! She is almost as fast as me, in fact she personally invited me to their tryouts later this year. It's going to be so awesome! I can picture it now, soaring through the skies, a rainbow pierces thunder clouds, and a giant sonic rainboom!"

"Ugh that's so obvious." Rarity rolled her eyes at the prismatic pony. "Clearly you've never been to a canterlot fashion show. Hoity Toity is the best pony, he lives and breathes fashion. His winter line of clothing absolutely amazed everypony! I created over half of those dresses for him."

"um... I think Big Macintosh is best pony." Fluttershy blushed, and hid behind her flowing pink mane. Fluttershy had a crush on the large red stallion for months, however she was afraid to approach him.

"I think Discord is best pony! I just love his voice, and the chocolate rain, and now that we reformed him, he promised to always add whipped cream when he makes it rain! And that deep voice, it commands respect! Like some kind of mischievous deity from ages past. Plus candy canes, sarsaparilla, sparkles, balloons, confetti, and cupcakes! And he bought me a new party cannon!" Pinkie Pie kept bouncing around the room listing the many awesome traits of Discord, while the other ponies ignored her.

"Well I reckon Luna is best pony. There ain't never been a pony that has worked so hard to correct her mistakes. Ever since we defeated Nightmare Moon, she has worked day and night to redeem herself. That's mighty admirable."

"Everypony is wrong. Rarity is best pony. That beautiful blue mane, those curls, those curvy flanks and that plot--" Spike was interrupted by Twilight sticking a hoof in his mouth.

"Ha ha. Spike, you are embarrassing yourself again. Silly dragon, always joking about your uh... flank." Twilight grinned sheepishly at Rarity, who was stuck between flattered and confused at the dragon's borderline lewd comments.

"Thou are all wrong! Clearly the best pony is Shining Armor. Had my sister not intervened, I would have banished Cadence and taken him as my husband!"

Everypony gasped at the uninvited guests standing behind them. Celestia broke the awkward silence. "Everypony is best pony. I love all of my little ponies the same."

Celestia leaned down to Twilight's ear and whispered. "You chose well Twilight Sparkle. Had I not been your choice for best pony, I would have sent you back to magic kindergarten."

13. Pinkieus Pieicus :: E/Co

{comedy} {everyone}

Twilight's Log

Subject: Pinkie Pie

Scientific Name: Pinkieus Pieicus

June 5th, 1030

After several coincidences I have decided to observe Pinkie and note her various so called "pinkie senses" and determine how she is able to predict events. She is currently claiming that:

A twitchy tail means something is about to fall.

Wobbly ears means somepony is about to need a bath.

An itchy back indicates good luck for Pinkie.

A pinchy knee means something scary is about to happen.

An achy shoulder means their is an alligator in the tub.

A combination of "ear flop, knee twitch, eye flutter" means a rainbow is coming.

A combination of "ear flop, eye flutter, knee twitch" means to watch out for opening doors.

June 5th 1115

I caught up with Pinkie at the park, where I was interrupted by Spike. Shortly after Pinkie got an itchy nose then hid like something was going to fall. I was attacked by bees before I could disprove the twitchy tail... There are far too many coincidences happening today.

June 5th 1145

Observed Pinkie Pie at Applejack's barn where I was able to disprove the "ear flop, eye flutter, knee twitch" combo. Unfortunately after I proved the barn door wasn't going to hit me, I stumbled into Applejack's cellar. I have now been assaulted by frogs, given a bath with an alligator, hit by several doors, attacked by bees, and sprained my front legs! This is getting ridiculous, Pinkie can not be predicting these events! There is a logical explanation for this!

June 5th 1330

I've been discharged from the hospital after Derpy nearly crushed me to death. Shortly after Pinkie's tail started twitching, she dropped an entire truck full of some ponies furniture on me! This is unbelievable, every time I'm about to see if her predictions are true somepony else interrupts or nearly kills me!

June 5th 1345

I've located Pinkie again and I am ready to take my testing to the next step. It is clear now that I can't just sit by idly and wait for something to happen. I have set up an anvil over the front door to Sugar Cube Corner. When Pinkie Pie comes out of the store, I will use my magic to release the anvil. If her tail twitches before it hits her, then I will have proved my theory. Here she comes....

Nothing? Nothing's happening, I pulled the pin the rope should release! Ugh, she didn't even twitch her tail, I need to go investigate the anvil.

June 5th 1400

The rope got stuck in the pulley, when I went to investigate I was nearly crushed by the anvil. I have caught back up to Pinkie who is in the town square. I have used my magic to paint an elaborate picture of an ice cream shop on the side of a brick wall. Right where the ice cream pony is drawn is a door, when she goes to buy an ice cream I will push the door open, hitting her. If she has this ridiculous "Pinkie sense" she'll see it coming.

June 5th 1415

I can't believe this! The door jammed! Pinkie had a 3 minutes conversation with a painting and I couldn't get the door to budge! I walked around to the door, only to have Doctor Whooves slam it open into my face. He said something about a lock before I stormed off to catch back up to Pinkie Pie.

June 5th 1430

I have caught back up to Pinkie Pie, who is currently following a trail of candy corn to a box, propped open by a stick, attached to a string, that leads to this bush. When she gets to the box, I will spring the trap and forcibly test her Pinkie sense back in the lab. Her ears are wobbling, but there is no mud or water in sight! I might have finally proven it.... Why isn't this string working? UGH!

June 5th 1445

After heading over to inspect the box, it wouldn't fall over because of a sprinkler in the guardian. I angrily shattered the box with my magic, which broke the sprinkler resulting in a mane full of muddy water. Where is Pinkie now? I need to see if her ears are still wobbling...

June 5th 1500

Time to end this, with the pinchy knee. According to my research, it means "something scary" is about to happen. I have loaded her party cannon with stale cupcake batter and left it in the middle of the street. When she goes to inspect it, I will set it off... She is approaching now, but her back is itchy? That means.... Good luck? Hah! Time to prove her wrong!

June 5th 1545

The cannon failed to launch and you guessed it, somehow ended up exploding in my face. After washing all the cupcake batter out of my mane, I have found Pinkie again only to learn she knew I was following her all along! This was all a setup! I bet Spike AND Applejack were in on it. I am too angry to keep taking notes in my journal. Pinkie keeps saying there is a "real doozy" at froggy bottom swamp. For now, I'm just going to follow her and be patient. I'll take more notes AFTER I prove the Pinkie sense is fake.

Twilight's log,

June 5th 1900 zulu.

Final entry.

I quit. I don't know how she does it, and I don't want to know how she does it. I'm going to go get drunk with Dash and Vinyl, and forget this whole bucking day ever happened. Then I'm going to write the Princess a drunken friendship report, wake up hungover, and avoid Pinkie until I stop bursting into flames every time I think about her "Pinkie Sense." UGH! See, that right there! I just burst into flames again. I've got half a mind to burn this journal and cast an amnesia spell.

14. 300 Follower Special :: T/Ad/Gore

A tribute to my friends, Sparta, and 300 followers.{teen}{adventure}{gore}

Three hundred fim fiction users stood at the narrow canyon leading to their homes, and prepared to die for their fiction.

“There may come a day when the morality of authors dies,” I shout out, “But that day is not today!”

“Hoorah!”

“There may come a day when The Hub shuts down under the downpour of bodily fluids generated by rule 34, BUT NOT TODAY!”

“Hoorah!”

“They can take out lives, but they can never take our FREEDOM!”

“Hoorah!”

“Eat lightly, fans, for tonight, we read fiction, IN HELL!”

Kaidan turned to face the legion of changelings before them. They had been starved of love for so long, they became super hairy and liked to wear white clothes and lots of gold bling. They had hairy knees.

“They believe in everything you’re against, now kill them!” Kaidan shouted.

The battle lines clashed, pony versus changeling, drowning out all other noise. Daemon of Decay struck the first blow, cleaving a changeling in two with his mighty battle axe. The earth pony was built like train made of lead bricks. On the backswing with his axe, he cleaved two more in half. Their green blood created a waterfall, bathing his rippling brown muscles in goo.

“Seven!” shouted Pathos. “You’re going to have to try harder to keep up!” the cocky pegasus said. He swooped down, using a hoof blade to stab a changeling in the eye. The changeling flailed around on the ground gasping at his missing eye, while Pathos used a wrist-crossbow to shoot him in the throat.

“TypewriterError, boost!” Daemon yelled. The unicorn lay down her giant spoon over the pile of changeling bodies she had bashed to death. Using the corpses as a fulcrum, the spoon became a giant catapult. Daemon jumped on the spoon, and TypewriterError slammed down on the spoon with her magic.

Daemon rocketed through the air like an airplane trying to land ass-first with the landing gear up. He flailed at the last moment, bringing his axe around to tear a Minotaur in half. The shocked minotaur’s legs walked forward, while his torso and head stared on in disbelief. The force of Daemon’s impact shattered his front legs, and bits of his broken femurs had broken through his skin.

“Sssstrike that one!” a changeling shouted.

Dozens of changelings descended on Daemon. He mowed down several dozen as they swarmed him, biting him, eating him alive. Blood splattered everywhere as the bugs crawled over every inch of him, feasting on his flesh.

There was a mighty scream, startling the pile of changelings. “Khorne! Grant me strength and I shall bring thousands of skulls for the skull throne!”

There was a violent explosion, flinging the changelings off Daemon’s corpse.

Meanwhile, Kaidan was busy trying to keep Parasprite alive. He was literally a parasprite, and had already multiplied into several hundred thousand of the creatures. He was devouring an endless swarm of Wyverns, Minotaurs, Changelings, and Wendigo’s. Unfortunately his one weakness was exploited.

Several Klingons waded into the swarm of parasprites, and began to kill every single one. There was only one thing they hated more than tribbles: Deus Ex Machina. They refused to let some silly Parasprite save the lives of his friends.

Also, parasprite tore several klingons apart like pirahnas, spitting out bits of sinew and flesh, and more.

Kaidan shielded himself as a wave of flame erupted from Daemon’s corpse. A massive greater daemon stepped forth from a gaping fissure. He had large, leathery wings, thick chitinous scales, and radiated a black aura of malice. Blood dripped from his fangs and fiery eyes, and in each of his four arms he held a sword the size of a school bus.

Daemon cleaved his way deep into the heart of the swarm. The changelings scattered, until their mightiest warrior confronted him. A massive crimson dragon landed in front of him, bathing him in flame.

As the warriors fought, Pathos took an arrow to the knee. “Ouch!” He took another arrow to the wing, and fell to the ground.

“Quick, someone put him out of his misery!” Skeeter said.

“I’ll do it,” Kaidan replied. I ran over and stabbed him in the throat to make his death quick.

“What the fuck! You missed!” Pathos screamed.

“Sorry, let me try again.” I stabbed him in the chest, puncturing a lung.

Gasping, he grabbed the knife from me. “Dammit! I’ll do it myself!” Pathos drove the blade into his heart, for no reason other than that he was super pissed at my incompetence.

A large shadow loomed over TypewriterError. She was pushed out of the way by Shadowed Rainbow, as Daemon collapsed on her. The giant daemon was spewing flame from his heart, incinerating several nearby combatants.

Abacron and Cobalt charged forward with their spears somehow gripped in a hoof. They plunged the spears into the dragon to get revenge, and were promptly devoured. They would return to the fight in two to three days as fertilizer.

RainbowBob had seen enough death in his lifetime. He donned his patented Fallout Equestria™ battle armor and revved up the chaingun.

“Are you sure about this, Bob? The enclave frowns upon wasting ammunition,” the computer in his suit said.

“Shut up, Bitch, this is my power armor!” he replied.

He began spewing rounds downrange, mowing down hundreds of changelings in seconds.

“Bitch?” the computer replied. Suddenly, the suit powered down and the gun jammed. “You take that back!”

“What?” Bob replied. “Stop that! You’ll get me ki—”

A large tentacle impaled him through his mouth, severing his spine. Chrysallis looked on with a wicked grin as she used her tentacles to defile his corpse.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this. . .” Kaidan said.

“They’ve got a cave troll!” TypewriterError yelled. She ran forward, levitating her giant spoon and deflecting the trolls mace. She spooned him again and again, to no effect. Before Kaidan could join her with his fork and help teach the troll a lesson in proper dining room etiquette, his mace smashed TypewriterError into a bloody pulp.

“No! In this fiction she was one of only three mares! Quick, protect the last mare!” Kaidan pointed over to Jaestring, who had killed so many changelings that she drowned in their blood. “Oh, shit.”

The battle line was falling apart, and Kaidan helped everypony regroup. “It’s down to us now!” He looked around, taking stock of the situation.

Skeeter, BronyWriter, Brony2893, Kaidan, Rurik, DPV, Rose, and a few others who will make brief cameos, gathered in a phalanx formation.

“For Narnia!” Skeeter screamed, as a meteor fell out of the sky, turning him into a Skeeter-shaped pancake. Apparently, the gods did not find that reference humorous.

BronyWriter pulled out his trusty rock and killed a dozen changelings with it. He then dragged a wyvern away, saying something about Rarity and a kill room. He was never seen again.

Brony2893 was doing a decent job at vaporizing changelings. As an orange unicorn stallion with no formal magical training, he had found an effective means of combat. He ran in circles, screaming, firing laser beams out of his horn. He would have lived, too, had one laser beam not hit a highly-polished shield and reflected back into his retinas, blinding him. A Hydra beant down, and it’s three heads bit into him, tearing him to pieces.

Rurik and DPV were fighting back to back with samurai swords. A wyvern continued to try and stab them with his stinger, but they slowly and methodically chopped it to bits. Next, Discord appeared, turning them to stone, and then teleporting away with them to do Celestia-knows-what.

“It’s time for the secret weapon!” Kaidan shouted. “Release the Kraken!”

Suddenly, there was an explosion. At the epicenter stood Rose, queen of the damned, who had just vaproized several hundred of Kaidan’s followers.

She shot laser beams out of her eyes, cutting a swath through the enemy ranks. Then, she remembered that she was not the queen of the damned, and did not have laser beam eyes. In ten seconds flat, she was devoured until nothing but a few bones remained by a rabid pack of diamond dogs.

Kaidan stood alone on the mountain of bodies of his followers, staring defiantly at Chrysallis as timberwolves surrounded him.

“Our arrows shall block out the sun!” she shouted.

“Then I shall die in the shade!” Kaidan yelled.

From all around him, thousands or arrows were launched and blotted out the sun. Kaidan smiled, cackling like a madman, as he took over 9,000 arrows to the knee.

“It,” Kaidan spat, coughing on his own blood, “has been. . . a red dawn.”

The rampaging horde entered fim fiction, where it posted dozens of horrible clop stories to the featured box every five minutes for the rest of time.

15 Pinkie Pie Picks a Pokemon :: E/Ra

{random}{everyone}{comedy}

Pinkie crept through the tall grass with her faithful pokemon Gummy. Ahead of them was their quarry, the level fifteen flying pokemon. It knew quick attack, double team, gust, and buccaneer blitz.

“Alright, Gummy, I choose you!” Pinkie picked up gummy and hurled him at the unsuspecting pokemon.

Dash heard something in the bushes behind her and turned around. She was trying to help Fluttershy figure out where her animals were disappearing too. “Pinkie?”

“Gummy, use bite!”

“Gah—mmph!” Gummy landed on Dash’s muzzle, clamping down over her mouth and nose. Dash grabbed him and tried to yank him off. Somehow the toothless alligator was latched on and she couldn’t get him off. She bashed her head into the ground, successfully dislodging him.

“Oh no, she used headbutt! Quick gummy, sand attack!” Pinkie said.

“What is going on, Pinkie?!” Dash asked. Gummy kicked up some dirt into her eyes. “Ahh! Pinkie, stop, this isn’t funny!”

Dash jumped up in the air and hovered there. “Gummy, she’s using fly! Quick, use hyper beam!”

“Pinkie!” Dash yelled. She rubbed the sand out of her eyes and landed near her.

“Hi, Dash!” Pinkie smiled and pointed down to the ground. “Gummy, fire!”

Dash rolled her eyes. “Oh, I get it, you’re pretending to play that silly video gam—”

Gummy jumped out of the tall grass with a baseball bat, clobbering Dash in the side of the head. Dash fell down, twitching.

“Good work, Gummy! It’s super effective!” Pinkie reached for a pokeball as Gummy latched onto her tail.

Dash came too groggily and saw Pinkie holding a red ball in her hand, with an evil glint in her eye. “What? No!” She got up but was too dizzy to fly, and took off running towards the park. She saw Lyra relaxing on a park bench. “Help!”

Dash felt something hit her in the back. There was a whooshing sound as all the air was sucked out of the space around her. Something grabbed her wings and tugged at her fur, pulling her backwards. The world around her was bathed in red light.

“No! What the hay?!” Dash lost her footing and flew backwards, feeling herself being compressed on all sides. After a few seconds of an unbearable weight crushing her, she heard a click. Dash wiggled around, feeling a solid metal sphere surrounding her. It was already giving her cramps.

“Pinkie Pie is your master. You will obey master.”

“What? No! Let me outta here!” Dash struggled against the metal shell entrapping her.

“Pinkie Pie is your master. You live to make master happy.”

Dash could feel the air getting stuffy and panicked. She wanted to move her legs to know they were still there. The small space had her immobilized, and it was driving her mad.

“Pinkie Pie is your master. You are her pokemon.”

“No! I’m—I am Rainbow . . .”

“Pinkie Pie is your master. You will obey master.”

“I. . . I must obey,” Dash said. Her mind was drawing a blank as she tried to recall what was wrong.

“Pinkie Pie is your master. You live to make master happy.”

“I will make master happy.”

“Pinkie Pie is your master. You are her pokemon.”

Dash flinched. “No I. . .I am. . . her pokemon.”

“Pinkie Pie is your master. You will obey master.”

“Dash da—dash dash!” she chirped.

The pokeball twitched one final time as Pinkie watched with anticipation. It sat still for a moment before a red light turned on and the pokeball chimed.

“Yes, Gummy! We caught Rainbow Dash!”

16. Worst HiE Ever :: T/Co/Satire

{Comedy}{Satire}{Teen}

It was a sunny day in Ponyville. All was peaceful as the birds chirped and butterflies floated around. It was at this moment that you chose to fart loudly and scratch yourself. You rolled over in bed, and felt Twilight moving under the covers. It was too early to wake up. . .

Wait, Twilight? You screamed and sat straight up, looking into a mirror. You were an Alicorn! You, Marty Stu, the biggest brony in Tennessee, were an Alicorn!

You looked at your taught, muscular body and begin to drool. You had such large wings and legs and. . . your mane was bright red! It shined brilliantly against your black coat of hair.

You fired up your horn to test your magic, causing a nearby building to explode into flames.

"Honey," Twilight cooed. "It's too early to punish the town ponies, come back to bed. The King of Ponyville needs his sleep before a hard day of work."

"Yes," Fluttershy echoed. "Stare into my eyes and tell me how much you love me, Marty."

"Uh. . . How'd you know my name? I'm not supposed to be here, I'm a human!" You shouted.

"Really, darling, you've been reading too many novels set in the TD verse. Next you'll be shouting 'get me outta here, I'm not a brony!' " Rarity chided.

"Yeah, shut up and cuddle with me. I don't wake up until noon," Dash complained.

"Fine you win. I'm such a huge brony that I don't mind cuddling up with six of the top ten best ponies."

"Wait," Applejack interjected, "we ain't all your top six?"

"Well, top five through ten really. Cranky Doodle was always best pony. I love Lightning Dust, Twixie, Steven Magnet, Dash, and then the rest of you are five to ten. You can fight over my love later."

Pinkie and Fluttershy began to cry, while the other ponies curled up tighter around you and sobbed.

"Hey, it's okay. I saw every single episode and you guys are awesome, I'm just confused because I always wanted to wake up in Equestria, and now that I have, my dream has come true! I just don't know which one of you to enjoy first!"

"Well, we hav—"

Suddenly there was an explosion.

"Oh no!" You shouted. Outside, Discord was on a rampage! He was over a hundred feet tall and was stomping on all the buildings.

"Please," Dashie begged with puppy eyes. "Save us from the scary monster, daddy."

You looked down at Dashie and smile. "Don't worry, kid, I woke up in Equestria to chew bubble gum and kick flank. . . and I'm all outta bubble gum."

With a flash of your super-awesome Alicorn magic, you materialized outside. You grew to two hundred feet tall and looked down at Discord mockingly.

"Hey, Discord, eat any good books lately?" you bellowed. Your voice shattered lots of windows and stuff.

"Oh my, I just wanted to spread a little chaos! Look, I'm giving Pinkie lots of whipped cream with her chocolate milk, I'm reformed!" Discord pleaded. "Celestia gave me diplomatic immunity!"

"It just got revoked," you scolded.

You fired up your horn, absorbing sunlight for one turn. Discord used Leer, it misses!

A huge beam of sunlight fired from your horn, hitting Discord in the face. It's super effective! Discord has fainted!

Marty has gained 1337 experience points. Marty is now level 19! HP+5, ATK+5, DEF+5, SATK+3 SDEF+3 SPD+4.

You returned to normal size to see everypony in town cheering for you.

"WOW THAT WAS SO AWESOME!!!" Scootaloo said, using caps lock to prove that she is shouting instead of an appropriate dialogue tag.

"Thanks, Squirt. Hey Crusaders, who is best pony?" you asked.

"YOU!" they said at a reasonable volume, not too loud, not too soft.

"Darn tootin'" you replied. "Now, I've got a gift for you three."

You fired up your horn and their flanks begin to glow in your magic. On Applebloom's flank a totally rad sky-scraper appears, with lots of those iron beam thingys and a crane and stuff because she likes to build junk.

On Scootaloo's flank appeared a rocket-powered scooter flying through a burning hoop surrounded by sharks with laser beams.

On Sweetie's flank appears a tiny microphone. Nobody likes that whiny brat anyway, you thought to yourself.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS . . . crap, now what are we 'sposed ta do?" Applebloom asked.

"That's simple," you replied. "Now that you have your tattoos, you have to spend the rest of your life doing exactly what they say.

"Applebloom, you have three weeks to build me a one-hundred story skyscraper, or I'm going to take Winona 'to the vet.' Spoiler: I mean I'm going to kill her.

"Scootaloo, you need to find some flaming hoops and sharks and jump through them until you're so good you can do it blind.

"And Sweetie, why don't you go to Manehatten or somewhere else suitably far away and sell your. . ." You looked at the tiny filly. "Voice, to make a living. It's the only positive trait I can see in you."

The fillies cheered and ran off to start their new lives.

"Hey Scootaloo!" you shouted.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"When you turn eighteen, you're free to join my harem."

"Thanks, Marty! You're really fly!"

You turned around and headed back to the library. It may only be your first day in Equestria, but you can already tell you're going to love it here.

A letter appeared in thin air as Spike belched loudly. He had onions for lunch, so it was unpleasant.

Dear Marty,

Chrysalis has returned! Luna is busy hiding under her bed again, and I'm not powerful enough to beat her! I mean, it's not like keeping the sun in an asynchronous orbit. Fighting off a single changeling is super hard! Please, come save me, and I promise that this time your princess won't be in another castle. She'll be right here, waiting to have lots of children with you.

Your Damsel in Distress and primary romantic interest,

Princess Celestia of Equestria.

"This is super serial, Spike! We must send her a letter at once!" You grabbed the fax machine and yanked on his tail. He spits out a piece of parchment and a quill for you.

"Hey Marty," Spike whined. "You know historically parchment is made from thin, dried animal hide? It's basically leather. You ever wonder where Celestia gets so much parchment? I mean, is she skinning cows alive or something?"

"Hey, Spike, shut up. Nopony in the fandom likes you."

Spike ran away crying, which kinda sucks because now you have to use your magic to send the letter.

Dearest Celestia,

Never fear, for you are the best and only princess in my heart. I shall depart at once to save you and win your love. You will join me in my harem in Ponyville, after I chain Chrysalis up in the dungeon. Oh, Celestia, what light through yonder window breaks? It is a rose which by any other name would no longer be a rose.

I'm coming, my love.

Marty Stu

You used your magic to send the letter to her, then you grabbed the elements of servitude—I mean harmony—and had them come with you to the train station. You departed for Canterlot at once.

"Hey wait," Pinkie says. "Why are we taking a train when you can teleport there at will? I could even use Pinkie space to get us there, see?" She unzips reality and you could see Canterlot on the other side.

"Silence! Make with the cupcakes and singing at once. I really like trains!"

Together, you and the six awesomest elements of harmony ever set off to save Canterlot. Well, really they're just going to cheer you on while you save it. But still, it's nice to have them along for the ride.

17. A Cock in Derpy's Box :: E/Co

17. Cult of Bronies :: M/Da/Sex

** {Mature} {Sex} {Dark}{Human} ** Far darker than any other fic in this compendium

Four bronies find an ancient ritual to summon and bind a pony as their sex slave. What they don’t know is where these ponies come from, and for one brony this means they’re about to have a very bad day.

Warning: You probably shouldn't let your kids read this.

Story prompt/Request by: The Parasprite

Part of my one-shot week.

***************************************************

It was a sunny day in Azeroth. There was not a cloud in the sky over Goldshire, nor was there room left to lay down in the basement of the inn. As the birds chirped and the bees buzzed, two dozen Night Elf and Tauren druids made passionate cyber sex in the dank basement.

It was as Jacob sat there, rubbing one out into his generous supply of tissues, that his friends stopped by. His roommate Adam let them in. Mark and Justin were going to be moving in this four bedroom house with them soon. It had a large basement that was perfect for what they had in mind.

With no shame, Jacob finished himself in front of his friends and logged out of World of Cowsecks.

“Did you guys bring the reagents?” Jacob asked.

“We sure did,” Justin stated. “Once we complete the ritual, we’ll be set for life!”

The four bronies headed downstairs into their real basement, where they would have real sex with different species, and for once the sexy Tauren on the other end of the internet connection wouldn’t be a forty-four year old man.

There was a stone altar onto which a single bowl was placed. Justin and Mark set down the boxes and bags they had carried in. Jacob started repainting the hexagram around the altar, while Adam checked all the bondage gear around the basement. They would soon have one, maybe more, beings living here permanently.

Mark filled the bowl, starting with the pinkie finger bone of a cadaver. It was followed by the eye of a toad, the wing of a bat, and several other cliché ingredients that cannot be bought, sold, or traded; except on Craig’s list.

The last ingredient was the most important of all. Mark stepped back as Justin and Jacob opened up the black duffel bag squirming on the floor. They lifted the strictly hogtied virgin female onto the altar. The bronies chanted words of encouragement, as Jacob slid a knife across her throat.

“Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile.”

The virgin flailed violently, her blood filling the bowl and splattering everywhere. She finally went limp, and rolled off the altar.

“Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile.”

Adam walked in and dropped a match in the bowl, creating a cloud of purple smoke.

Elsewhere, a man in his early twenties sat at his computer writing about My Little Ponies. He was not the sort to write happy-go-lucky stories about Trixie, in vain attempts to get featured on popular unbiased websites. No, this brony loved to write about rape and porn—often at the same time.

Suddenly there was an explosion.

His computer monitor had burst into flames, and the smell of sulfur filled the air. The room went dark and he felt a sucking sensation, like his body was being forced through a small hole in the wall.

He closed his eyes as pain spread down his spine, and he felt his arms and legs burning away. The chair and desk floated away as darkness closed around him. He could feels his fingers and toes fusing together. Hair began to sprout from his skin and felt like thousands of ants biting him.

Something burned in his groin as he felt a powerful suction in his stomach. Looking down he was able to watch as his dick shrank, being sucked inside him. His balls began to tingle until they too were absorbed inside. He tried to scream, but his entire face was being molded into a new shape.

Memories of a life spent writing about ponies and chasing skirt faded away. Family, friends, work, his car; everything became meaningless as a haze fell over his brain. He heard bones snapping and morphing, adding joints to his arms and legs and causing his hands to morph into solid blocks of bone.

A sharp pain stabbed down his spine and exploded out his ass. He looked down and saw malformed strands of leathery hair. He then felt something hit his chest, knocking the wind out of his lungs. He felt his body being compressed and sucked through a straw, crushing every inch of his body. It then expanded instantly.

He then landed on four feet, and felt his hair bristling along his entire body. Opening his eyes, he saw cage bars all around him. On the other side of the bars was an assortment chains, manacles, restraints, and bondage toys. There was a rack, a hangman’s noose, latex sheets, large dildos, and literal shackles bolted into a brick wall.

“What the hell?” he asked.

“Rose Lips, what did we tell you about talking when not spoken to?” Jacob asked. He turned on a hose and began to spray her down with cold water.

“Oh God, what the hell’s happening?!” Rose shouted.

Mark walked over with a broom stick and poked her sharply in the side. “Shut up, slut!”

“But I—what—” He looked at his hands, only to find them covered in violet hair. He had been—should still be a human, yet there were two hooves where his hands should be. Glancing at his stomach, he saw two nipples and beneath these a long, vertical pink slit where his dick should be. Flowing strawberry red hair formed a long tail that partly covered his hind legs.

He came to the horrifying realization he was now female.

Something wrapped around her neck and tightened down. She looked to her side to find one of the men holding a pole. Kicking at the bars proved useless and she fought to tear the device off her neck. At the end of the pole was a loop that had tightened around her neck, and he used it to maneuver her out of the cage once it was unlocked.

She ran around, trying to overpower the human holding the other end of the six foot pole. No matter how hard she tried, her hooves slid across the cement floor. She simply didn’t have the strength to overpower the human towering over her.

“This will go much easier for you, Rose, if you stop acting like a lunatic and accept your place. You are our pet. You have always been our pet,” Jacob instructed. “We feed you, shelter you, allow you to fuck us.”

"But I-I don't—" 'Rose' stammered, unable to produce a suitable response to this bizarre development. "Wh-what's going on?"

"You're sick, Rose."

"N-no I'm—Rose is not my name—I know it's not."

"Your name is Rose, even though you forget it sometimes," said Jacob.

"That is NOT my name!" she screeched. Jacob slapped her across the face, and she fell back, shocked by the brutal treatment. Her sudden cowering provided Mark with a chance to cover her with a towel and begin rubbing invasively to dry her off.

"You're sick," Jacob repeated sternly. "You're delusional and a danger to yourself and others. We've put up with your insanity, and tried to find medicines, but you're just too insane to be cured or to go back to living in real society. You're a dumb, frothing animal; a pet, and nothing more. We could have had you put down when you first started acting this way, but we didn't, and you should be grateful for it, you filthy little whorse!"

“No,” she whimpered, ceasing her struggles. “I’m some stupid animal. Would you really kill me?”

“If you keep acting feral, then yes. At this point only person who can fix your paranoia is you. A good place to start is by remembering the rules.”

“What rules?!” she babbled. Mark was drying her off, and rubbing the towel against her labia. She moaned at the pleasurable sensation. She then realized that feeling of a pending orgasm, and her face flushed with guilt. Rose wasn’t supposed to be enjoying having her pussy touched by other people.

“Our house rules for you, Rose Lips, don’t tell me you forgot them! Sometimes I think you’re faking this illness to fuck with me!

“I’m not! I really don’t remember!”

 “The first rule is: you only speak when asked a question. We used to let you roam the house and yard freely, but you started scaring our guests. You even bit our mailman.  The second is: you address us all as master. You constantly act like an unruly child, refusing to obey us. The third is: you must obey all of our orders and please us in any way we wish. You used to love us almost as much as we love you, and now no matter how often we show you our love by fucking us you don’t appreciate it”

“What the hell is—” Jacob cut her off by slapping her muzzle. “Stop slapping me, you asshole!” she whimpered and began to cry. It was too much to take in, and here were four grown men three times her height, and ten times stronger. Her alien body and the after effects of having her sex rubbed were throwing her off balance.

“That’s Master to you. You’re only going to confuse yourself more if you keep speaking. Let us show you how you’ve spent the last few years,” Adam said. He walked over to her.

Jacob smiled. “This worked perfectly, Adam, now we just need to work on the bitch’s memory.”

“What worked perfectly? You said I’ve always been—”

“Gag her,” Jacob ordered.

“No, please let me speak to you!” She looked up and saw the gag approaching. “Please! . . . Master.”

The bronies laughed as Adam fastened a ring gag into the pony’s mouth. “There, Jacob, she won’t be whining anymore.”

“Let’s get her hooked up.” Jacob pinned her to the floor with his wait as Justin walked over with two spreader bars. He strapped one onto a hind leg and, realizing what he was doing, she started to squirm and kick with her legs. Jacob tightened his grip around her chest, robbing her of the ability to breathe. She froze and whimpered, feeling the second strap tighten around her back leg.

They release her hind legs and she found them stuck three feet apart in a painful position. She then saw them lining another spreader bar up for her front legs. Rose curled her legs against her chest and batted at their hands with her head. With Mark on one leg and Jacob on the other, they yanked them away from her chest while Justin strapped the spreader bars on.

With her legs locked apart, she felt a strange tingling in her forehead. Rose heard metal tools rattling and something crash on the other side of the room. She felt a warm glow around her forehead that reached out around the room, knocking things over. Jacob kicked her in the side, causing her magic to cease.

Adam lifted her up onto a table that put her at waist height with the men. “You know,” Adam said, “We should do something about her horn, since she won’t behave.”

Rose’s eyes went wide and she tried to look up at her forehead. She began mumbling and twisting her neck trying to find this horn they mentioned. If she could control it, and quickly, she could still fight back.

“I suppose it’s for the best, we can’t have a crazy, disobedient pet learning to use magic,” Jacob added.

She saw a hacksaw get pulled out of a nearby cabinet, and felt it graze against her horn. A painful tingling sensation shot down her spin and into her limbs. Rose thrashed helplessly against her restraints, her heart racing. She was terrified, not just of what was happening to her, but of what would happen to her. These men seemed to be tired of dealing with her misbehavior, but she was only misbehaving because she didn’t understand what she was doing wrong.

As Adam and Justin pinned her head to the table, Jacob sawed through the horn. Each pull of the hacksaw sent another painful wave of pinpricks and needles down her nerves and through her brain. Her muscles tightened up and refused to loosen as her horn was slowly sawed off.

Her horn mercifully went numb and she heard something snap off. Jacob laughed and tossed the severed horn and hacksaw onto his work bench. “A good pet wouldn’t need a horn anyway, you’re lucky we let you keep it this long with all your bad behavior, Rose.”

“Calm down,” Adam said. “We’re doing all this so you don’t hurt yourself.”

“Guahah! Gaaggahugh!” she wailed.

Rose thrashed furiously, upset at being stripped of her ability to communicate. There were nagging inconsistencies in their story that were almost as upsetting as her cloudy memory and inability to recall her past! If what they said was true, then she was sick and needed their help. Why then were they being so short with her when she speaks? Was it really a punishment for forgetting to call them master?

Mark wrapped electrical tape around her tail, forcing it to stand on end and leave her pussy exposed.

“Ready to get fucked?” Jacob asked.

“Mmph mph!” she mumbled.

“Wrong answer,” Jacob said. He took his pants off and started rubbing his dick.

Rose tilted her head as her eyes went wide in fear. Justin was turning on a video camera to record everything that happened. Then she felt Mark grab her. He stuck his hard dick into her mouth and she began to choke on it. She was afraid he wouldn’t care if she choked to death, and tried halfheartedly to get his dick out of her mouth. He grabbed her ears and pulled her head down to the base of his shaft. He began to thrust his cock roughly and pumped deeper and deeper into her throat.

Just as she thought this nightmare couldn’t get any worse, she felt something slippery against her ass. Justin was behind her, his dick lubed, and sliding through her anus. It was far too tight and the stretching hurt Rose as he entered her. Tears flowed from her cheeks and she began to emit a squealing sound, like a young pig. She stuggled to convey a single word, ‘why?’, but it was muffled by the cock filling her throat.

Rose then felt his fingers reach past her labia and begin to massage her pussy. There were many questions on her mind as she was painfully violated. The first was, how the hell did I forget who I was? The second was, what the fuck did I do to deserve to get raped? Part of her wasn’t even sure it was rape. After all, they were her masters and she was their pet.

Also, there was something arousing about how his fingers were pinching her labia. She was frustrated at her inability to make them stop, because the longer they went at it, the more she enjoyed it. Rose couldn’t even consider it rape if she enjoyed it. She felt ashamed, and continued to beg them to stop. It was disgusting to be turned on like this, but the penis proved too effective a gag for any of her complaints to get through.

“Oh yeah, just like I always thought it would feel when viewing rule 34 on Derpykangaroo.com!” Mark said.

“Yeah, check this out,” Justin said. He started thrusting his fingers into her snatch while he fucked her ass. Rose was whimpering from the pain when she felt something fill her up inside, easing her sorrow. For a moment, she forgot that she was ashamed to be aroused at this. Rose felt good, and then he pulled his fingers out. She went back to feeling awful, wishing he would put his fingers right back where they had been.

Justin continued to push deeper into her vagina as her juices coated his finger. Rose pushed the thoughts of the pain out of her mind and began to push her plot against his fingers. He pushed a little too hard and with a wet plop, his whole hand forced it’s way up her pussy.

Rose tensed up, clenching down on his fist in shock. Justin began to use his hand for leverage to drive his dick even further into her ass. Just as she thought it couldn’t get any worse, she came. The orgasm rocked her, and it was the most wonderful thing she had ever felt. It ended too soon, mostly due to her struggles to breath and the sharp pains in her ass. Rose was left in an even more horrified state, now fully aware of how badly she wanted to be fucked, despite her attempts to convince them not too.

She squealed in protest as her confused body struggled to separate the pains in her ass and mouth from the small amount of pleasure at having her vagina fisted. Rose cried from the pain, and the horror of being used so thoroughly in a body she wasn’t even sure was hers. She felt the building sensation of another orgasm and wished she could make it all go away.

Mark slapped her muzzle, then yanked her mane to thrust his cock back in. “Cry harder, Rose.” She was caught off guard and the pain caused her tears to start flowing faster. Her pathetic sobbing gasps made Mark cum. He shot load after load down her throat, causing her to cough, and the excess began leaking out her nose and mouth.

Jacob walked up, finishing himself off with his hand and spraying more semen onto her face and the table, adding to Mark’s mess. “You better lick that all up, Rose. If you make a mess we’ll have to punish you.”

Rose continued to cough, feeling the burning of the cum in her nose. She gulped, swallowing the semen left in her mouth. Then she fearfully lapped at the table. She stopped for a moment when another orgasm rocked her, and it was cut short by Jacob’s fist.

He punched her in the nose, causing her eyes to water. “You’re not finished you cum addict, there’s more to lick up.”

Rose squinted through her tears and finished licking up the cum then worked on getting it out of the hairs around her mouth.

Justin pulled her back violently, using her pussy for leverage as he slammed his cock inside her ass. He was pounding her with reckless abandon, increasing his tempo as he got closer to his own orgasm. Unable to control herself, or even resist his violent penetrations, her orgasm returned in full force. Justin came as her ass clenched around his dick, and he shot load after load of warm sperm into her. She screamed through the ring gag.

Rose felt a burning sensation on her flanks and Justin pulled out and her orgasm faded. She slumped on the table in defeat. Not only had she been violated, but she enjoyed it. Rose came not once or twice, but three times, while trying to figure out if she was really a human in a pony being raped by humans.

“Nice,” Jacob said, “She just got her cutie mark in being fucked!”

Rose felt several hands poking and prodding her flanks. “Nice, it looks just like my dick, it’s even shooting a load of sperm,” Justin stated.

She continued weeping while Adam removed her ring gag. “Ready to go again?”

“P-please stop! You’re hurting me, I’m sorry i-if I made you mad! But if y-you keep hurting me I’ll t-tell someone what y-your doing!”

They all laughed at the thought. “You can’t escape, and if you did no one would believe you. Ponies are pets, property, we own you,” Jacob said.

“T-then why are you hurting me?”

“Because you won’t follow the rules!” Jacob slammed his fist down on the table hard, right next to her head.

Rose flinched and squealed. “S-sorry Master!”

Adam shook his head. “We used to treat you so nice, wouldn’t you like us to treat you nice again? Didn’t you just ask us too?”

“Y-yes! Stop h-hurting me and I’ll behave!”

Jacob sighed. “Behave, and we’ll stop hurting you! You never were a very smart pony, only good for fucking and sucking. I suppose we’ll have to continue to punish you until your memory improves. Help me out here, Justin.”

The two men lifted her into the air by the spreader bar attached to her hind legs. They then attached it to a chain and hung her upside down from the ceiling.

“Hey guys, want to go watch My Little Pony?” Mark asked.

“Yeah, but give us a minute,” Jacob replied.

He grabbed a large vibrator and rammed it into Rose’s pussy without any lube. When it didn't go all the way in, he started slamming it into her again and again, forcing it deeper and deeper as she screamed and cried. Rose's pleas were rewarded by Adam's foot crashing into her lower jaw and making her bite a chunk out of her own tongue. It hung loosely by a strip of flesh, refusing her attempts to spit it out and filling her mouth with blood. The poor filly's frantic spitting and flailing ended only when Adam grabbed her, pried her mouth open, and jammed her severed horn into it. He then took some duct tape and taped her mouth shut, wrapping it four times around her head.

Rose felt like choking and vomiting as her horn scraped the back of her throat. She couldn’t spit it out past the duct tape. That was when she noticed the drops of blood falling to the floor. She struggled to swallow the blood pooling in her mouth, and realized the dripping was coming from her horn.

“I better bandage that,” Mark said. He slapped some cloth over the stump of the horn, and duct taped it down. He then passed the tape to Jacob.

Jacob tore off a strip of duct tape, then locked the vibrator on its highest setting. Adam quickly thrust a vibrating butt plug into her ass. It painfully popped into place before Rose even had time to tense up her ass to resist the violation. She felt like something had torn, but couldn’t see what they were doing.

Jacob pressed the strip of tape against her stomach, ran it between her breasts, over the vibrator and butt plug, and up her spine. He then took more strips and ran an S shape from one flank to the other, passing over her pussy as she struggled. The two plugs were buried under silver tape that was sticking to the hair of her plot, flanks, and stomach.

Content that she wasn’t going anywhere, they headed upstairs.

Rose slowly spun around in the air, and as she began to regain her awareness, she noticed the vibrations spreading throughout her backside. They were warming her up, pushing her towards a familiar but new sensation.

It was the same as when they had violated her, only this time less painful. She had more time to enjoy and understand the feelings spreading through her. Rose still felt the guilt—she did not want to enjoy it—but at least this time she had some control. She was tied there, hanging upside down, but they could not hurt her or mock her while she enjoyed herself.

She began to squirm and push against the duct tape, fighting the feeling and not understanding fully what it is. Rose cried into the gag, screaming and begging for them to not force her to enjoy it. The jagged horn in her mouth was still creating a choking sensation, and she felt her pussy and ass trembling as they were overstimulated. Her awareness vanished and for several minutes all she could feel were the waves of pleasure washing over her. She desperately tried to contort her body to push the plugs in a little deeper, despite her bondage.

As she came back down from the orgasm she was ashamed, and drenched in her own urine. While it felt amazing, it only served to scare her as this was how she would spend the rest of her life. Just when she thought it couldn’t get any worse, she felt her pussy throbbing in pain. The vibrators were still running on high, and her hypersensitive holes were begging for her to stop.

The pain gave her some clarity, and she struggled to reclaim something that would prove she was a human. Perhaps if Rose convinced the other humans she wasn’t crazy, they would let her go! Her attempts to convince them failed because of her poor memory, so she struggled to remember her parents. Everyone has parents, but their names and faces escaped her. Favorite foods, where she lived, even her favorite color were non-existent.

What the humans said was beginning to make sense. How could she have just turned into a pony out of nowhere and wound up in a basement? How else could she be dangling here now having multiple orgasms? If she were human, why could she not remember a single human thing clearly?

She cried out in ecstasy as the third orgasm hit. Rose couldn’t stop them, and couldn’t escape, as her pussy got even more sensitive. The pleasure turned to waves of pain, agonizing her. Tears flowed as any joy or humor in the situation was long forgotten. A moment of ecstasy was not worth the burning agony that followed.

She could feel her pussy swelling up, so tender from the abuse that the pain was spreading down her legs and up her back. Rose was holding her muscles so tight in an attempt to offer some glimmer of relief, that they began to cramp. The butt plug was beginning to make her feel too full. She wants to take a shit, and to get the annoying buzzing toy out of her ass. It’s beginning to drive her mad.

Rose has had enough. She thrashes violently and screams with all her might. With all her might she continued to scream at them. What did I do? Why? Please stop! The incoherent screams continue until her overworked body passes out from exhaustion.

Rose twitched as she woke up, and was surprised to find herself on a bed. She could still feel the intruders buried inside her, but they had been turned off. There was also an arm wrapped tightly around her, cuddling her.

The soreness from earlier returned and she lay there and took stock of her situation. Her legs were burning from the pain of hanging upside down. Even the smallest movement sent a twinge of pain up her ass and pussy.

She tried to get up and run, but found leather cuffs locked onto her hooves, effectively hog-tying her. Rose tried to speak, but found another ring gag had been inserted. She looked behind her and saw one of the humans sleeping with her. The cuffs weren’t on too  tightly, and the ring gag was a more comfortable hardened rubber.

Rose tried to get into a more comfortable position since one of her legs had fallen asleep. Her wiggling around woke the human up. He stretched and yawned. She recalled the others had called him Mark.

“‘Ark, pweeze eelp me,” she mumbled through the gag, remembering far too late in her sleepy state that he was in fact one of her tormentors.

“Ugh, shut up and cuddle me, bitch,” Mark mumbled.

Rose grunted and yanked at his arm with all the might she could muster, which was not much.

Mark sat up in bed and pinned her to the mattress by her ribs. “Damn, I gotta take a piss, but I’ve got wood.” He saw the tears in Rose’s eyes and saw her whole body shivering. “I got an idea. You probably need to use the restroom too, right?”

Rose looked at him and timidly shook her head yes.

“I’m gonna take the gag out. If you utter a single word it’s going back in and the vibrators go back on, and you won’t get to shit. Understood?”

She nodded again to signal her agreement.

Mark fumbled around for some scissors in the night stand and then cut the tape off, pulling it off quickly but gently. He removed the bandage from her horn and allowed her to stretch her jaw a little. She held up her end of the bargain and did not make a single sound.

He lifted the pony up and carried her to the restroom, and set her in the bathtub. He then cut off the rest of the tape, pulling it off her flanks, and removing the dildo and butt plug. He left the messy plug in the bathtub and tossed the dildo in the sink for later.

Mark quickly set her down on the toilet, and only seconds later she had taken a shit. He then listened as her urine squirted down into the water. “Man, you’re really making me have to piss, but you’re in the way. Open up.”

“What?” Rose asked, then cowered in fear, “Master!”

“You’re gonna drink my piss and we’ll go cuddle, or you don’t and I hang you in the basement.

She opened her mouth and closed her eyes. Rose flinched when she felt his piss hit the back of her throat and coughed. She then tilted her head back and did her best to drink the steady stream of urine flowing into her mouth. It splashed out when she didn’t swallow fast enough, but she managed not to get much of it in her mane.

Rose felt a little urine burning in her nose, and finished licking her lips. It didn’t help much with the taste. “Thank you, Master, for letting me use the toilet.” She immediately felt ashamed to be thanking him for rewarding her for letting him violate her earlier.

“Good pony, now how about a little reward,” Mark said. He picked her and the dildo up and went back into his bedroom. He laid her on the floor, and then began to slide the dildo into her pussy.

Rose gasped, making a small squeak from the pain. Mark went slowly, letting her adjust, until it had filled her back up. He then set it to a low setting.

“You know, Rose, the more you behave the nicer I’ll treat you. I might even convince the others to be a little gentler, but I won’t tolerate any disobedience. Is that clear?”

Rose moaned as he flicked the vibrator to the medium speed. “Y-yes, Master.” She was ashamed, but Mark was being almost gentle with her. The slowly building orgasm was unlike the earlier ones, which were driven by pain. He fondled her breast as the fire built inside her.

As she got closer she rocked slowly against the dildo and he turned it to high. This orgasm filled her abdomen and spread to her body slowly and steadily. She couldn’t hide the squeal as she came, gently reaching the plateau of her orgasm. Mark switched the vibrator off and let her ride the orgasm back down, before pulling the dildo out.

“Happy?” Mark asked.

“Yes, thank you. . .” Rose looked at him and saw how hard he was. “Master, may I?”

Mark looked down at his throbbing dick and smiled. “I thought you’d never ask.”

He pulled her head towards his cock but she resisted. “Wait, do you have a ring gag? I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

Mark reached into the nightstand and pulled a softer rubber ring gag out and fastened it in. She then lowered herself onto his cock, licking it, while he used his hands to find a steady rhythm.

Whether it was because he was tired, or aroused at helping her masturbate, he didn’t last long. Rose took a deep breath then slid his cock into her throat, taking each load straight down her throat and into her stomach. Mark moaned until the final load shot inside her. She then sucked his cock and licked it clean as it went flaccid.

Mark carried her into the bed and laid down, spooning her. He put a hand down between her legs and gently toyed with her labia. Rose squirmed and pushed herself back into his chest, letting him cuddle her tightly.

Mark smiled as she started to tense up. Only a few days ago he wouldn’t have believed an ancient ritual could summon a human and trap them in the form of his choice. Hell, a few days ago he thought witchcraft was bullshit. Now, he could feel the dampness escaping Rose’s labia. He smiled and pulled his hand out.

“See? When you’re a good pony, we treat you nice. When you act like a bitch, we’ll treat you like one.”

She trembled in fear at the thought of more punishments. She was powerless and small compared to these humans. To the best of her knowledge, there was no such thing as a talking pony outside of cartoons, so if they decided to leave her body in a ditch, no one would ever know.

Rose curled against Mark, letting him hold her tightly against his chest.

“What the hell, Mark?” Jacob shouted. “I thought she escaped, why didn’t you tell us you were gonna fuck her after we went to bed?”

Rose opened her eyes and immediately wished she hadn’t. Jacob reached down and dragged her out of the bed by her mane.

“The bitch belongs in the basement!” Jacob yelled.

“Look, I just wanted to sleep with her, built a little trust, okay? No harm done, and I kept her tied up,” Mark said.

“And the punishment? What about that? Why would I discpline her just to have you pull her down and fucking cuddle?” He slapped Rose in the muzzle as hard as he could, sending her to the floor whimpering in tears. “Now I have to punish her again!”

Mark raised his hands in surrender. “Hey, she was passed out. I just thought I’d bring her up here so she didn’t die or something.”

Jacob grabbed her mane and then dragged her out of the room and back down to the dungeon, letting her bounce off the steps on the way downstairs. Justin and Adam were waiting, and had brought a few of their favorite plushies down to watch.

“Hey, you found her. Rose, you remember when you used to live in Equestria with your friends? I bet Lyra here must miss you,” Adam said. He pulled down the Lyra doll, and slid the embedded fleshlight over his rigid cock. “But she had me to keep her happy!” Adam started laughing.

“Mark had her in his bed. Bastard was probably doing that bukkake shit again,” Jacob said.

“But bukkake takes more than one person. You want me to show you what it is?”

Jacob looked down and grinned, then loosened the ring gag. In a few moments he had it undone. “What do you say, Rose? Would you like us to cum on you?”

Rose whimpered. “P-please, no. C-can I have some food?”

Jacob raised his hand to slap her and Adam interrupted him. “How about, if you eat all our cum I take you into the back yard and feed you some salad?”

Justin laughed, and Jacob had an evil glint in his eye. “You know what, that’s a good idea. So what will it be? You lick up every drop of our cum like a good bitch and eat, or you don’t and we tie you to the ceiling by your tail.”

Rose curled up in a ball. “I’ll b-be good, Master, please feed me.”

The three men grinned and gathered around her, preparing to masturbate. Jacob rolled her over onto her back and lifted her onto a chair between the three of them. They now had a clear line of fire to her face, and began to rub one out.

“And don’t think about moving, bitch!” Jacob ordered.

Rose lay there trembling and licking her dry lips. She hadn’t eaten or drank anything in a day, and was still half-expecting to wake up from this nightmare at some point. Perhaps this was hell, and this was her punishment for all the pony porn and violence she had written. No, I was never a human. I probably just imagined it because I wasn’t happy here. But Mark seems nice. I bet if I’m a good whore, he’ll take care of me.

Rose let out a soft ‘eep’ when the first load of cum hit her in the eye. It burned, and blinking only smeared it around. The next hit its mark, flying into her mouth. Several more loads of sperm rained down on her, and she frantically and blindly licked around, trying to scoop it all up. A few tears escaped her eyes as she ate her first meal in days. At least it was high in protein.

After a minute she opened her eyes. She could still see out her right eye, and felt several sticky spots on her face. With her hooves still bound, she couldn’t scrape the excess off. It began to dry into her fur as the three bronies whispered to each other.

“Alright, we’re going to let you get some exercise. You should know, the nearest neighbor is half a mile away. We’re in. . . a rural part of the state. We have a fenced in area for you to ‘exercise’ in, but don’t try anything stupid or we’ll cut a leg off to keep it from happening again.

Rose gulped, and felt herself being picked up and carried under Adam’s shoulder. Mark joined them on their way outside, and she noticed they were all wearing nothing but shorts and sandals. At least they wouldn’t get their clothes dirty raping their pony.

Once out in the back yard, they undid the four leather cuffs from her hooves and set her down in the fenced area.

Rose immediately ran to the other side of the pin and cowered in the corner. The four humans were laughing and whispering back and forth from outside the cage. They began to pass beers out from an ice chest, and brought some lawn chairs out. It even looked like they were placing bets. There was no salad out here and this was clearly another of their sick games.

She stood up timidly, getting used to her legs now that she wasn’t bound for once. Rose trotted around the enclosure a little and saw that they were right. There was an abundance of trees around the house, and aside from this fenced in area it opened up to the forest. She figured that even if she escaped, a wolf or mountain lion would eat her out in the forest anyway. Rose was stuck here for good.

That’s when she heard the growling. Rose froze instinctively, feeling her ears flatten against her skull and her tail fall towards the ground. She lowered herself towards the ground and cowered, and then looked in the direction of the growling.

There was a large black dog on the other end of the enclosure, walking towards her with his teeth bared. Rose was too terrified to move. If memory served, it was a rottweiler. Not only could they be vicious towards humans, but she was now about the dog’s size and made of delicious pony meat. It could tear her to shreds in the blink of an eye.

Rose could feel herself sweating, and oddly a warmth in her groin. She didn’t understand what was happening as the dog slowly circled her. Afraid to even turn her head to watch as he lunged and killed her, she just closed her eyes.

She jumped when the dog stuck its nose into her ass and began sniffing. It lapped at her pussy and an electrified surge of adrenaline reached her brain, giving her the briefest carnal desire.

Rose timidly looked back, and saw the rottweiler climbing on top of her. The humans were hollering and whistling. She felt something brush against her abused labia. Before it registered, she felt the dick thrust straight into her pussy.

She squealed and tried to run forward, but the dog had a good grip. He thrust quickly and violently, trying to get the deed done as quickly as possibly, like nature had programmed him too. Small barbs extended from his dick and Rose felt them scratching her tight vagina.

Now Rose tried twice as hard to run, but any attempt to escape only caused the barbs to dig deeper inside of her, and the angry dog to nip at her neck. She fell to the ground on the knees of her forelegs, and let the dog rape her. It only took a minute for him to finish, and he pulled out. The dog came around and affectionately licked her muzzle, before laying down to relax.

“Now Rose, be a good pony and return the favor. Suck his cock and give him a rim job, or we’re leaving you in here overnight,” Jacob said.

At first Rose thought that might be a good thing, to get away from the humans. Looking at the dog, however, she realized it meant being raped at random intervals and possibly eaten if he got hungry.

She went up to the dog and sniffed at his ass. Rose really didn’t want to do this, but knew it was her only hope at anything resembling a normal life.

She stuck her tongue against his anus and starting licking. He rolled onto his belly and started moaning. Rose began licking a little deeper each time into his anus, until she could taste the salty rotten taste of his feces. She continued to lick around the rim, and could see his erection growing again.

After Rose saw him fully erect, she went around and climbed on top of him. He began sniffing at her ass as she slid his cock into her mouth. She licked and suckled at his cock, and soon felt the dog trying to thrust past her tongue and into her throat.

Rose looked up to see if the humans were pleased, and wasn’t paying attention to the dog when it happened.

The dog thrust its cock down deep in her throat in one quick motion, and she felt the barbs locking into place. Rose couldn’t breath, but couldn’t pull herself off either without excruciating pain.

The dog struggled on his back to thrust more quickly and cum, but couldn’t. As Rose struggled, the dog finally managed to topple her to the ground. It stood up, tearing at her throat. She could taste blood in her mouth.

Finally, she ended up on the ground, neck strained, and lungs burning. The dog was finally able to thrust down her throat, and came. She felt warm loads of sperm shoot down her throat. As it pulled out, she tasted the cum and blood mixture.

The dog trotted back over to his doghouse and went inside to sleep.  Rose began to crawl on her knees towards the door out of the cage. Her pussy felt like it was on fire, having been scraped inside. Her throat felt swollen and sore, having been given dozens of small cuts. She was whimpering pathetically as she finally reached the gate.

“Well, I just have one last thing I want to see you do,” Jacob ordered. “I want you to give that a blow job. Do that, and prove you're a sex slave and not a worthless bitch. You are a pony, and if your obedient I won’t kill you.”

Rose looked over at what he was pointing at. There was a long dried dog turd laying in some fallen leaves. She looked back to see the four humans, drunk and leering at her. The only one who bothered to smile at their slut was Mark. Rose decided to swallow her pride and try to earn a night not spent hanging upside down from the rafters again.

She crawled over to the long turd and ran her tongue along its length. It was roughly penis sized, and the dry gritty texture helped mask the foul taste. Rose put her lips around the end and slowly slid it into her mouth, trying not to break it.

Rose sat there sucking at the dog shit like a popsicle until it was so moist that it began melting in her mouth. A loud roll of thunder interrupted her, and the humans began to complain.

“Let’s get inside before the storm starts,” Justin said.

“Yeah. Hey, Mark, since you love the bitch so much, why don’t you give her a bath? I don’t want to play sloppy seconds to a fucking mutt,” Jacob said.

“Fine,” Mark shrugged. The other three went inside and Mark came over and picked his little sex slave up. “Don’t worry. After I fuck you in the bathtub we’ll go up to my room and you can take a nap. You’re going to have another long night, Rose Lips.”

Rose nuzzled him as she cried, with small trails of blood running from her mouth and pussy. She was nothing but a pony sex slave now, and any fantasies of being a human like them had quickly faded from her mind. The best she could hope for now was to be treated well between sessions of violent sodomy.

If she was extra thorough fucking Mark, perhaps he really would treat her well.

18. Twilight's Best Day Ever :: T/Da/Tragedy

18. Buffalo Blue :: M/Da/Gore

** {Mature} {Gore} {Dark}{Tragedy} **

Blueblood doesn’t take rejection well. He’s always gotten what he wants, and after a stuck up mare at the Gala turns him down, he decides to take what is his. Thus begins his quest for revenge on the mares of Equestria.

Warning: Not for the squeamish, pregnant, elderly, people with lower back problems or those with Haphephobia

Story prompt/Requested by: RainbowBob

Part of my one-shot week

***************************************************

Blueblood had been following this particular mare for a few nights. As a famous pony, she was used to dodging paparazzi. Once he had learned her schedule, this turned into an advantage. Her attempts to escape publicity often caused her to find herself alone, ducking down dark alleyways.

Usually he would go for normal ponies, lowborn or poor. He decided that he was good enough now to go after a truly beautiful specimen.

The light grey mare had beautiful skin and very silky hair. She had a jet black mane and tail, and a pink bowtie. After ducking into an alleyway after her last concert, Blueblood slid out of the shadows.

Earth ponies were always the easiest to capture. He levitated a thin rope out and looped it around her neck in one swift movement. His magic yanked the string taut, and then Blueblood jumped on her.

Octavia began gasping for air and flailing around. Blueblood could feel himself getting hard and rubbing against her backside. She was wiggling as her mouth opened and closed without a sound.

The rope had dug into her neck, blocking blood flow to her brain and the air to her lungs. Her struggle lasted only seconds before she went limp. She had been less then a block away from the restaurant her date, Vinyl, was waiting at.

Blueblood took out an extra rope and hog tied her, then strapped a bit into her mouth to silence her. He pulled out a threadbare burlap sack with a potato painted on the side.

He stuffed her into the bag before headed back towards his small mansion. After being kicked out of the castle and scorned at the Gala, Blueblood had moved into a smaller house with only twelve rooms and ten baths.

Down in the basement he had a large pit dug into the ground. He tossed the sack down into the bottom, only slightly slowing its momentum. Octavia landed on the floor ten feet down with a loud thud.

A mint green mare with a severed horn screeched at the sound and crawled into the corner of the pit. Her mane hadn’t been combed today, and looked like a mess.

“Lyra, you whore! You were supposed to comb your mane and put the conditioner on your fur!” Blueblood shouted.

He levitated a strap of leather down and struck her across the muzzle.

“No! I won’t do it,” Lyra whimpered. She curled up and started sobbing.

“It puts the conditioner in its fur or it gets the hose again!”

There was a clunk as a brush hit the floor, followed shortly by some conditioner and shampoo. Next, a torrent of cold water poured into the pit, drenching both ponies.

Her broken horn sent a painful shock through her as the cold water hit the exposed nerve. Lyra was shivering, but finally began to run the brush through her mane with her hoof.

“If you want to get a towel to dry off, you’ll put that conditioner on your skin.”

Lyra was crying as she finished combing her mane, and began to rub conditioner into her fur. After a few more minutes of scrubbing, she had finished. A dry towel landed on her, and she quickly began drying herself off to warm up.

Then, she felt something else drop down around her neck, quickly choking her. Blueblood dragged her out of the pit by the rope around her neck, and began tying her down to his work bench. It had half a dozen loops bolted in and he began tying her down to them.

Once he had her legs secure, he slackened the rope and slapped her a couple times to wake her up.

Lyra gasped as she woke up on the wooden slab. “What? No, please don’t!”

“You’re so beautiful, it’s time to take you out for a night on the town,” Blueblood replied.

“No! P-please.” Lyra broke down and began to wail, tears flowing freely. “N-not like B-Berry. . . not l-like the others.”

She couldn’t manage any more words once she heard the knife sliding across a sharpening stone. “You should be happy. You won’t suffer anymore. Everypony will see how beautiful we are!”

Lyra struggled against the restraints as hard as she could. She was rewarded with the flat of the blade pushing down on her throat.

“Don’t damage the skin!”

Lyra stopped struggling and gulped. “P-painkiller. . . m-mercy.”

“Hmmm.” Blueblood ran his hoof down her belly, causing her to moan. “No, whores don’t deserve mercy.”

Octavia could hear the screams from the bottom of the pit. She was drenched and stuck in a wet burlap sack, with her hooves bound and her mouth gagged. She sat there and listened to scream after scream from the other side of the basement.

Blueblood drew the knife along her right hind leg, cutting through the skin around her hooves all the way around. He then slid the knife up slowly towards her chest. Using his magic to hold each limb steady, he had quickly sliced all four.

With his magic and hooves he began sliding the skin off her legs, tearing away the attachments. Lyra only stopped screaming to breathe, yet the more she cried out in pain the harder it was getting to stay awake.

She felt the skin peeling off each leg, and the cold air stinging her muscles. Lyra glanced down at her leg and immediately wished she hadn’t. Her limb looked stringy, with ropey veins and bones running through it.

Blueblood barely reacted in time to tilt her head to the side with his magic. She vomited, covering the floor in her bile. Once she was done, he slid the knife down along her chest and stomach.

Lyra felt the blade scrape against her sternum and struggled with renewed fury. She heard and felt her chest cavity ripping open as the skin separated where he had cut. She looked down and saw her four flayed legs, her intestines, and for a moment what she thought was her heart.

Her head slumped back against the table and her eyes rolled up into her head. Blueblood continued tugging at the skin, slowly separating it from the fat and muscle below it. As Lyra bled out, unconscious on the table, he finished skinning from the neck down. He loosened the ropes and lifted her limp head up to work on the neck and face.

Using his magic and some chemicals he began to preserve the hide and started tossing her bones, organs, and muscles off the workbench. Only a few more minutes, and he’d have a perfectly preserved Lyra suit. With a simple zipper, it would be complete.

Octavia had heard the screaming stop. Moments later, a loud wet slapping sound echoed through her pit. She smelt a coppery, almost rotten smell, and fought an urge to vomit. She could not see through the wet burlap sack, but as Lyra’s flesh continued to rain down around her she had a good enough idea what it was.

Blueblood laughed as he looked at his handiwork. He laid it onto a mould of a pony and put the final touches on it. He then compared it to the skins in his closet in the basement. He had a tan mare with red hair, a blue pegasus with brilliant yellow hair, and a purple mare with berries for her cutie mark.

With a smile he took down the perfectly preserved skin. He had sutured the legs into sleeves that would leave only his hooves exposed. A little careful stretching had sized it perfectly. As his back legs slid in he hovered the rest of Lyra above him.

He shook his plot against her, cozying up and bunching his tail inside her skin. Eventually he could feel her marehood snug against his backside.

Blueblood draped her over his back, carefully getting his front legs into the skin of her forelegs. As they slid in, her backside hugged his back and tightened up. With careful tugs using magic he worked the skin around his chest and stomach to his underside.

He exhaled and sucked in his stomach as much as he could so he could fit inside his new suit. He carefully zippered Lyra’s skin up against his abdomen. Already he could feel the arousal of his stallionhood as it was held in place by the tight skin he had reinforced on Lyra’s belly.

Blueblood carefully worked his head into Lyra’s as the zipper passed his chest, and started zipping up the neck. With a little stretching and some manipulation of his own mane, he had completely sealed himself inside her.

Now, the only part of him still visible was his white horn and eyes. It was a simple thing to change the appearance of them. Were it not for the paler complexion, larger frame, square muzzle, and bits of loose skin hanging off him, he would have passed for Lyra.

Blueblood walked over to the pit and used his magic to slide all the leftovers from Lyra into a small hole in the corner. It was made so the mares could use the restroom and emptied into a large septic tank.

He undid the burlap sack and ropes, and let Octavia get out to stretch.

“Ugh! What the hell is going on?” she asked.

“It’s horrible,” Blueblood said in the mock voice of Lyra. “There’s a mad pony killing mares! I just barely escaped!”

Octavia looked up and saw the mint green mare standing above her. She could tell something was off, and remembering the screaming, put two and two together.

She vomited onto the floor as she realized another pony was wearing her skin. After she recovered she looked up at at her captor, only to see him laughing.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Lyra,” he replied.

“No, really!”

He frowned and looked down at her. “I’m Blueblood... but soon, I will be any mare I want to be. Ponies will love me, and Celestia will let me move back in the castle; and even Rarity will love me! It’s not my fault she rejected me at the Gala. Five girlfriends? She’s clearly a filly-fooler!”

Octavia felt her plot hit the wall as she backed up. “You’re insane!”

“NO!” Blueblood screamed. “I’m not crazy! Now, start combing your mane and putting the conditioner on. You won’t get any food or water until you do.”

“Why, so you can butcher me too? Go fuck yourself!” she screamed.

Blueblood levitated the hose over and began spraying her down. He levitated a large wooden disc over the hole in the ground that was her toilet, and wedged it in. He continued to spray her, the water drowning out her protests.

After a couple minutes, she was left standing in three feet of ice cold water.

“Whore! Maybe in the morning you’ll show a little more respect. Now, I have to go out in town and meet a nice stallion who will whisk Lyra Heartstrings off his feet!” He cackled madly and headed towards the exit.

It was late at night a day later, and Blueblood had packed lightly. He had some makeup and hygiene items, a switchblade, and a small length of rope. He would either have an enjoyable evening with a stallion, or snag an adorable new mare to skin.

He was prepared for a night on the town after putting his Lyra suit back on

He headed towards the red light district where there were as many nightclubs as streetwalkers. It didn’t take long before a drunk stallion came up to hit on him.

“Hey, Sexy, you want to party at my place?” he said.

“No thanks,” Blueblood replied, batting Lyra’s eyelashes at him.

“Come on!” He tried to grab her, but Blueblood used his strength to toss him into the gutter.

Blueblood stopped to admire how good he looked in a store window before heading down the street towards a nightclub. He could hear the music from out here, and wondered who must be DJ’ing tonight.

“Lyra?” a voice called out.

Blueblood turned around to see a tan mare and a white mare trotting towards him.

“Oh, thank Celestia you’re okay, Lyra!” Bon Bon rushed forward to hug her marefriend.

“Huh, do I know—I mean, what’s wrong?” Blueblood asked.

“Where have you been?!” She hugged Blueblood and could feel there was something wrong. “What? Who are you?”

“You must have mistaken me for someone else. We aren’t friends,” he replied. Slowly Blueblood backed into the alleyway, hoping the confused mare would either leave, or follow him in. Either way, he would get rid of her.

“What’s wrong, Bon Bon?” the white unicorn asked. She had a lovely blue mane and Blueblood knew he’d have to skin her next.

“It—she looks like Lyra, cutie mark and everything! But it’s not her, something’s off!” Bon Bon pointed at Blueblood and Vinyl followed them into the alleyway.

“Look, ladies, there’s been some mistake.”

Vinyl fired up her horn to shine light on him, and the two mares gasped. They could see the small seam running from under Lyra’s chin down her neck and chest. A little white fur was poking out near the seams, and there was an odd bulge against Lyra’s stomach.

He smirked. “I assure you, I am Lyra now that I have her skin.”

Bon Bon vomited, her brain unwilling to accept what she had seen. The thought of a pony wearing another’s skin was too preposterous.

Blueblood smirked and levitated his switchblade out of his saddle bag.

“You sick fuck! What did you do to our friends?!” Vinyl yelled.

He laughed. “She had such lovely skin, don’t you agree?”

Vinyl gasped and saw a glint as the blade flew towards her. She fired up her horn, managing to deflect the blade and roll out of the way. She stood up, covered in filth, and grabbed a nearby trashcan lid in her magic. She flung it at Blueblood, catching him in the chin.

Blueblood tumbled to the ground before standing up. “Stop! You’ll ruin her!” he shouted.

Vinyl hadn’t waited for his reply. She had already leapt towards him with a loose brick in her levitation, and tried to hit him in the head.

He managed to deflect the brick at the last second. Reaching out with his magic he lifted the knife up, plunging it into Vinyl’s neck. Blueblood could feel the warmth of the blood as it poured onto Lyra’s pristine coat.

Vinyl struggled with her last breaths, taking the brick in her hooves and weakly dropping it onto Blueblood’s head. Lyra’s skin tore where the brick hit, and he found himself dazed.

“D-damn it!” he shouted. He shoved Vinyl off, and stabbed her repeatedly in the chest. Even once she stopped moving, he continued to bury the switchblade up to the hilt in between her ribs.

Once he had finally caught his breath he turned to face the tan mare. She had passed out a few feet from her puddle of vomit from the horrific sight. Blueblood cackled maniacally at his good fortune.

He left the blue-maned whore in the alleyway, and levitated Bon Bon into his potato sack. The burlap would hide the pony inside, and anypony who saw would think ‘she’ had bought some vegetables.

Blueblood used his magic and some stagnant water to get as much blood as possible off of Lyra’s skin. He mended the nicks and cuts as well as he could, but decided he might have to throw this skin out. It was truly a shame.

Bon Bon woke up with a kink in her neck. She tried to move her head to relieve the pressure, but couldn’t. With slow, groggy movements she tried to lift her legs but all of them were stuck.

“I had to go to the pharmacy, you know,” Blueblood explained.

He stepped out of the shadows, clad in Lyra’s skin. Some sweaty hair poked out of the cut on his forehead, and he had dropped the illusion coloring his horn green. The sagging skin near his mouth made it look like he had two jaws while he talked.

“L-lyra!” Bon Bon felt lightheaded as her eyes began to roll back into her head.

Blueblood jammed an epi-pen into her thigh. The rush of adrenaline kept her from passing out. “Oh no, I want you to be awake for this.”

She coughed and managed to look in his direction. “F-for what?”

“Why, for skinning you alive. You’re a rather plain pony. Normally I’d have left you bleeding in the gutter. I would much rather have brought your friend here. Unfortunately, the only salvagable part once I finished killing her was her electric blue mane and tail.”

He lifted up a bundle of blue hair before tossing it on his workbench. “N-no!” Bon Bon screamed. “This can’t be happening!”

“Tell me, who was she?” Blueblood asked. “Who was this pony you loved so much you are going to die for her?”

Bon Bon burst into tears and sobbed loudly. She continued to weep for her dead lover until she felt a sharp pain in her hind leg. “You’re not her. . . her skin, oh Celestia.”

“Who was she? She already cost the life of your white friend.” He pushed his knife deeper into the coronet above her hoof, causing her immense pain.

“S-stop!” she cried. “She w-was my l-lover—Lyra.”

Blueblood smiled. “You know, she asked me for painkillers? I used to think that watching them squeal in pain was the best part. You’ve given me a wonderful new idea. I wonder, if I’m careful, can I keep you alive until you’re fully skinned?”

Bon Bon let out a blood curdling scream at the thought, and thrashed violently. A syringe filled with dilaudid, a hundred times stronger than morphine, was stuck into her arm. She began to tremble as her body had never experienced narcotics before, and she quickly found herself euphoric and sleepy.

Blueblood adjusted the lights and a large mirror he recently installed on the ceiling, until Bon Bon could see herself in it as he skinned her.

“Hey, Blueblood! Can I help?” Octavia yelled.

“Shut up! You’re not tricking me into letting you out. What a pathetic lie!” he shouted back.

“Please! I could prove I love you, we could be happy tog—”

“I said shut up, or I’m skinning you alive next!”

Octavia curled up in the corner of the pit, using the damp burlap sack she had been thrown in with as a blanket.

Blueblood poked Bon Bon on the muzzle a couple times. She opened her eyes and was awake, but delirious.

He started the familiar routine. Circumferential cuts around and above each hoof, followed by long incisions up the length of each leg to the shoulder and hip. Next, he opened her up from plot to muzzle, then connected the incisions to the cuts on her legs.

She was ready to be peeled open, and Blueblood smiled as her eyes went wide.

“I—I think I’m bleeding,” she mumbled. She could feel an aching and burning, a feeling something wasn’t right, but the pain of the incisions wasn’t enough to overcome the drugs and make her pass out.

“You mean, like this?” Blueblood used his magic and his hoof to slowly peel the skin back from her right foreleg. Being very careful, he was able to avoid the arteries and veins. She was oozing a lot of blood from the capillaries in her skin, but otherwise was coping well with her ordeal.

“Yeah, that! There’s something on my leg!” Bon Bon’s foreleg twitched and she giggled at her exposed muscles.

“You’re right, this leg is different. We need to make the others match it!”

He sung his version of a children’s rhyme to himself as he flayed her skin.

All around the hoof and cornet,

The knife cuts through the skin.

Up her legs and down to her groin;

Pop! Goes the pony.

“Hehe, sing it again, and stop tickling me!” Bon Bon squealed.

Blueblood looked down. He was peeling the skin back from her ribs. “This tickles?” He pulled some more of the flesh off, exposing bone and muscle.

“Hahaha yes! Stop!” she wiggled a little, which caused her a jolt of pain the narcotics couldn’t mask. “Ow.”

Blueblood smiled. “You know, you’re taking this well.” He peeled the skin back from her stomach, exposing her layer of belly fat and abdominal muscles. “What a pity, you must have worked hard to keep your tummy this trim.”

“Iesshh okaaay,” she slurred.

Blueblood felt her pulse and found it slowing down. He began peeling the skin from her neck and head, and removed the strap from around her forehead.

Surprisingly, he managed to work off the stubborn scalp, and Bon Bon was still alive. She was no longer speaking, but she continued to twitch. Her eyes spasmed as they rolled around in their exposed sockets.

Blueblood used his magic to gently slide the skin out from under her.

“I—”

“What was that?” Blueblood said.

Bon Bon whispered something again, and Blueblood leaned in closer. “One more time?”

“I—l-love you, L-lyra. . .I-I f-forgive you f-for killing m-me,” Bon Bon whimpered.

She coughed and went back to twitching as exposed muscle and nerve screamed in pain from being exposed directly to the cold, damp air. Blood continued to ooze off from her entire body, as her circulatory system fought to keep her alive. Her legs were turning pale as blood was pooled in her chest to keep the heart and brain going.

“Ironic, isn’t it, to be killed by your lover?” Blueblood asked.

“Can I—” Octavia took a deep breath to slow down her racing heart. “Please, let me see your new skin, Blueblood. Is it beautiful?”

He was about to grab the hose and make her shut up, but he looked at the skin in his hooves. Even though he didn’t like the ugly tan color, maybe this new mare would want to wear it.

“I’ll let you come up and try her skin on, it is very beautiful, but it’s not my color.”

“Yes, please, I’m so cold and lonely down here. Let me curl up at your hooves tonight to stay warm,” Octavia said.

Blueblood smirked and mused how lucky he was to have finally caught a pony that seemed to understand him. He levitated a rope with a loop down into the pit.

“Put your forelegs through, I’ll pull you up.”

She obliged, and a minute later she was standing at the top of the pit, shivering. Blueblood was manipulating Bon Bon’s skin in his magic, getting it ready for his marefriend to try on.

“Go ahead, try it,” he said.

“Can I see her first? She looks,” Octavia swallowed the bile in her throat. “She’s still alive? It’s. . . impressive.”

“Oh sure, but hurry!” He nudged her towards the table and followed her over.

Bon Bon had a creepy smile on her face created by her lack of skin. Her eyes followed Octavia around the table, and occasionally a leg would twitch. Her chest was still slowly rising and falling as her nose created a hollow whistling sound.

“Now, I know we just met but if you’d like, I’ll take you to dinner as this mare. Just put her skin on, and tell me you love me,” Blueblood said.

Octavia smiled at him when she found what she was looking for, and put a hoof on it. “I love you. Kiss me.”

Blueblood blushed, but it was hidden under the pale sagging skin of Lyra’s cheeks. He leaned forward and was about to close his eyes when he saw a glimmer of something metallic. He pulled back too late.

Octavia swung the knife at his throat. He had moved at the last second, and Lyra’s loose skin made it look like his neck was bigger than it really was. She had sliced through Lyra’s skin, and put a deep gash in Blueblood’s throat, but had not killed him.

“Whore!” he sputtered.

Octavia lunged forward with the knife again. He tossed Bon Bon’s hide at her, blinding her. The knife missed, and he stomped on her head.

She felt the sharp blow and heard a crack. Swinging the knife blindly, she felt it hit a foreleg and heard a squeal of pain. As Octavia stood up she felt where his blood had been splattering on her.

Blueblood was filled with fury as she ruined his new skin. He tried to curse at her again, but all that came out were wet slurping noises from his throat.

Octavia could see the malice burning in his eyes, and began to back up with the knife in her hooves. Blueblood lunged at her, and the massive stallion knocked her off the ground.

She felt herself falling, with the full weight of the stallion on top of her. There was a loud cracking sound and a white hot flash of sharp pain in her spine. Octavia struggled to push Blueblood off of her. Buried in his chest until not even the hilt was visible was the knife. He had lunged at her, landing on it.

Octavia looked around, realizing she had fallen into the ten foot pit with Blueblood on top of her. Sharp pains went down her back when she tried to move, and she prayed she had not broken anything.

Rolling over, she struggled to get a deep enough breath to scream for help. Her cries for aid came out as painful groans. She slumped onto her side in defeat, and stared into Blueblood’s glassy eyes.

Blueblood! First Serial Killer In Seventy Years!Inside Story: Tragedy, or Royal Cover-up?

Equestrian News had found out additional details from a first-hand witness who asked to remain anonymous.

When Blueblood was noticed missing, a relative went to check on him. Within an hour, the entire mansion had been quarantined and nopony was allowed within a hundred yards of it. Our source tells us why.

“It was. . . really gruesome. . .” he told us. He went on in detail to describe the horrible images, of mares flayed alive. “. . . she was rotting, strapped to a table. We found syringes and medicines nearby and—I just can’t talk about her, it still gives me nightmares.”

Our source went on to tell us more about the sole survivor. “Our best guess was she’d been stuck in that pit for at least three weeks. There were some remains down there with her we think were Blueblood’s, but they were badly—” Our source was barely able to admit to us in confidence that Blueblood had been eaten by the survivor. His mangled bones and flesh had been gnawed on for weeks.

“She was wild—bit one of the rescuers—we didn’t know what to do. One of the stallions had a brother in animal control. They brought in a pole to rope her neck, and we had to drag her out and into a cage. It was barbaric. . .” Our source goes on to tell us that the crazed mare had to be sedated at the hospital.

While Celestia has ensured the survivor’s identity has not been leaked, Equestrian News has found the names of the missing ponies and suspected victims. Our condolences go out to the families of the following mares who were reported missing. It is not yet clear which ones died and which survived.

Rose Luck

Octavia

Minuette

Twinkleshine

Lightning Dust

Fleur Dis Lee

Berry Punch

Lyra

Photo Finish

Bon Bon

19. Rats in the Walls :: T/Da/Gore - Lovecraft

19. Zap Apple Compost :: M/Da

{Mature}{Dark}

It’s time for another Zap Apple Harvest. This year, Apple Bloom will discover the family secret behind the Zap Apples. In the process, she’ll get rid of two bullies and possibly find her special talent.

Part of my one-shot week.

***************************************************

Apple Bloom set a tray of crackers on the table alongside the other snacks. She helped herself to a cup of apple juice as she waited for their guests. It was cool and cloudy, and in a few weeks the Zap Apples would start appearing. Applejack took a seat across from her at the bench.

“Ya sure you're ready for this, sugar cube?” Applejack asked.

The filly looked up at her and swallowed. “Yeah, if Granny Smith could do it, ah can too. Maybe ah’ll finally get my cutie mark!”

“Alright, sugar cube. Just remember, the Apple family has been makin’ Zap Apples this way for decades. So ya can’t turn back.”

“Ah’m ready. Besides, ah think Diamond will work great.”

“Here they are now,” Applejack said. “Howdy, partners!”

Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara trotted up to the farm. “Ugh, hello. I wasn’t expecting it to be so cloudy and humid today.”

“That’s all part of the weather we need for the best Zap Apples, and today we’ll show ya how we make them,” AJ explained.

“And you’ll be able to meet our larger quota? 800 jars of Zap Apple jam in four weeks?”

“No problem, Filthy. Ah have a feeling this will be our best harvest yet. We called in some extra ponies ta help this year.”

Diamond glared at Apple Bloom before hopping up on the bench to look at the snacks the Apples had set out. There was an assortment of sliced apples, crackers, cheese, and an apple pie. She shook her head and jumped down without having any.

“Let’s get this over with, Daddy,” she whined. “Silver invited me over for tea.”

“Of course, honey.” Filthy Rich pointed out into the orchard. “You’re using the north field this year?”

“Sure are. It’s our largest field,” Applejack explained. “Follow me and ah’ll show ya.”

Apple Bloom smiled as she watched Filthy and Diamond follow Applejack. She recalled all the times Diamond had tormented her and the crusaders. It was too bad Silver wasn’t here to share the fun, but Applejack had insisted they follow the plan.

The four ponies wandered out into the middle of the apple orchard, far from the town of Ponyville. Eventually they came up to a row of trees with a loose soil piled next to them. In the next row were the two empty holes about six feet deep.

“So, you said the reason you can double our order this year is a special fertilizer?” Filthy asked.

“Sure is, and ah can even give you that forty percent discount ya demanded.” Applejack rolled her eyes while looking at Apple Bloom. Her sister had to stifle her laughter.

The moment was nearly here and Apple Bloom could feel her heart racing. When her sister made her move, she had one goal: knockout Diamond Tiara.

“Then you won’t mind telling me what exactly you fertilize them with? With the new Equestrian Food Safety Administration guidelines, I have to put it on the jars,” Filthy explained.

“Ah, well ah guarantee it’s a hundred percent organic,” AJ replied. “Take a look at it.”

She gestured him over to the hole in the ground next to an apple tree, and reached back into a saddlebag for a piece of rope.

“What am I looking for?” Filthy asked.

Applejack tossed the lasso she had just removed from her bag over Filthy’s neck, and shoved him into the hole. He fell down, feeling the rope yank itself tight around his neck as his weight reached the end of its length.

Diamond and Apple Bloom gasped. Remembering what she was supposed to do, Apple Bloom picked up a nearby rock and jumped at Diamond. She landed on top of the filly. Diamond looked up at her as Apple Bloom brought the rock down on her forehead with a loud snap. Diamond twitched and tried to push the filly off her.

Apple Bloom looked at the blood pooling out of the gash on Diamond’s head. The first blow had sent tremors up her forehooves. Diamond stuck a hoof into her stomach trying to push her off. She decided to bring the rock down again on her head. Diamond tried to move out of the way, and Apple Bloom hit her eye instead. Diamond screamed as a jolt of pain reached her. She couldn’t see out her left eye, and never saw the next blow coming. There was a loud crack as the rock hit her head again. Diamond went limp. Apple Bloom stood up and let the stone fall to the ground. She looked at the bully who had tormented her for so long.

Apple Bloom’s heart raced and she felt lighter than air. Her face had stretched into a wide grin and she couldn’t help but laugh. She was scared Celestia would find out that she had helped kill two ponies, and that caused this thrill she didn’t understand. Apple Bloom was elated at the power and control she had over Diamond Tiara.

For all the times she had made fun of her, she was no match for her and a simple rock. She could have gotten rid of Diamond years ago, and already her mind imagined tossing Silver Spoon in the ditch with them.

“Sugar cube, ya okay?” Applejack asked.

Apple Bloom looked at her sister, who had dragged Filthy back out of the hole. She had hogtied him, and the stallion was taking wheezy breaths.

“Yeah, sis,” she replied.

Applejack handed her a rope, and she got to work. Apple Bloom used some simple square knots to tie all four of her hooves together. She then took the extra length of rope and tied it around Diamond’s head, jamming the rope tightly into her mouth, gagging her. She watched her sister kick Filthy into the ditch. Apple Bloom kicked Diamond in the spine, causing her to wake up and squeal. She struggled against the ropes and moaned into the rope gag.

Apple Bloom laughed at her. “Who is the worthless blank flank now? Ya treated us like crap and now ya will reap what ya sowed.”

Diamond was crying as the pain of her wounds and the tight ropes registered with her brain. She felt another wave of agony in her ribs as she was kicked, and landed in the bottom of the hole. She began to whimper for her mother.

Apple Bloom grimaced as she saw the filly whimpering in the ditch. “Do we have ta do it this way?”

Applejack put a hoof on her shoulder. “Yeah, sis, it works better if they’re alive for it. Don’t feel bad though. They always cry and piss before they die. It’s the only way left for ‘em ta try to make us feel bad, but we’re just doin’ what we have ta.”

She grabbed a shovel from behind the tree and started scooping dirt on top of Filthy while Apple Bloom followed suit with Diamond Tiara. After each scoop she looked down at the filly who had tormented her for her whole life. With each shovel of soil a weight was lifted from Apple Bloom’s shoulders. Applejack was right, and she no longer felt pity for the evil pony. This was what they deserved for their torment and extortion. Besides, this meant that every nice pony would get to enjoy even more Zap Apple jam this year.

Diamond was squirming erratically in the ditch. Blood trickled from her head and when dirt landed on her ribs, she would scream into the gag. She was looking up at the edge of the pit, trying to make eye contact with Apple Bloom. Diamond tried to convey to the pony at the top of the hole she was sorry, but it was too late. With each scoop that landed on her, she would whimper and stare upwards with wide eyes.

At this point her hind legs and chest were covered in dirt. Apple Bloom had waited as long as she could, and finally dumped a scoop on her face. Diamond began to choke and cough. The dirt in her eyes made it difficult for her to look up at her captor. When the next scoop fell, Apple Bloom saw small holes form in the dirt where she was breathing. As she inhaled and exhaled, small gaps in the soil formed. She tried to shake the dirt off but only inhaled more of it. Diamond finally gave up. The dirt was still, save for the rise and fall of her chest, and the two small air holes.

Apple Bloom’s earlier adrenaline rush had faded. The experience had been great, and now she only found herself feeling empty. There were still other mean ponies out there that deserved this, and she still hadn’t found her cutie mark.

She shoveled in the rest of the dirt. The hole was just a hole now, with no sign of the filly at the bottom. Once it was filled up, she jumped up and down, packing the dirt in.

Apple Bloom looked at her big sis and wiped a tear from her cheek. “We tried, but ah guess it wasn’t ma talent,” she explained.

Applejack laughed and pointed at her flank. “Are ya sure about that, sis?”

Apple Bloom turned around and saw a brightly colored zap apple on her flank. She gasped, and turned to check her other flank just to make sure.

“Ah did it!”

“Ya sure did, sis! Ya fertilized yer first Zap Apple orchard. Now, Big Mac ought ta be done with Filthy’s wife by now. Ya want to go see if Vinyl and Octavia want to come over for lunch?” Applejack asked.

Apple Bloom realized what that meant and smiled. “I sure do!”

Apple Bloom hugged her sister and whispered ‘thank you’ into her ear. The two then trotted off towards their house.

No sooner had the exited the orchard she saw Sweetie and Scootaloo waiting. They had eaten most of the snacks on the table, and rushed over to her.

“Oh my gosh! You got your cutie mark!” Sweetie cheered.

“That’s so awesome! It’s almost like Dash’s!” Scootaloo shouted.

“Yeah, ah got it fertilizin’ the Zap Apple trees!” Apple Bloom replied.

Sweetie managed to tilt her head and raise an eyebrow in confusion without laughing. “Fertilizing?”

Scootaloo collapsed laughing on the ground. “C-cutie—mark—crusader. . .” She gasped for air. “F-fertilizers!”

Sweetie snickered and shook her head. “Come on, it’s not that funny. Now, do you use cow or pig manure?”

Scootaloo couldn’t help but laugh even louder, despite Sweetie’s question being serious.

Apple Bloom was frowning and huffed at them. “If it’s so funny, maybe both y’all can help me fertilize some trees and ah can show ya how ah got it.”

Applejack trotted up and interrupted them. “Come on now, Crusaders, run along. Apple Bloom and ah aren’t done here yet and we’re expecting company.”

“Yes, Applejack.” Sweetie nudged Scootaloo and herded her off the farm back towards town.

Applejack and Apple Bloom watched them leave just as Vinyl and Octavia arrived. Soon would come the lightning, and the timberwolves howling at the smell of the decaying ponies. Then, they would harvest the zap apples.

20. Fluttershy Visits an Animal Farm :: T/Da/Gore

20. A Cock in Derpy's Box :: E/Co

{Everyone}{Comedy}

Derpy has one last package to deliver before she can close the post office and head home. Unfortunately, the package has plans of its own that don’t involve being delivered.

Story prompt/Requested by: Daemon of Decay

Part of my one-shot week

****************************************

Derpy Hooves only had one package left to deliver before she could go home for the day. However, she walked into the post office’s storage room to find the package missing. The room was full of empty shelving aside from a few stray packing peanuts. On the wall was a tracking list, and she doubled checked it. There was definitely one more package.

There should have been another box here, she thought. Derpy began to look under each shelf as if the package might have walked off and hidden itself. It wasn’t in the storage room, or the break room, or in the customer waiting area. The box hadn’t hidden in a P.O. box, or gotten stacked in the return to sender pile.

As she walked back to the storage room, one of her eyes drifted, and she saw the back door cracked open. Derpy wondered if she had propped the door open with the box, and went to investigate.  No sooner had she opened the door, a brown box began to slide across the alleyway and around a corner.

Derpy flew over to the corner and looked out into the dirt street, but the box was gone. Frowning, she marched out into the street and looked around. A bush rustled in the corner of her eye. She jumped over a bench and nearly knocked Lyra out of it as she went to investigate..

There was a small scrap of packing tape on a branch, but no box. She lowered herself to the ground and glanced around, looking under each bush on the street. Her eyes wandered slowly as she surveyed the street. Finally she admitted defeat, sighed, and stood up.

Both of her ears perked up at a sudden, faint scratching sound. It was barely audible over the conversations of passing ponies. Derpy spun around to see a box edging its way around the edge of Sugarcube Corner.

She flew over only to find the box was gone yet again. Derpy dashed through the bakery and threw the back door open. There was the box! With a loud laugh she pounced it, and a cloud of white flour burst out of it.

As she sat there coughing, she heard Pinkie clear her throat behind her. “Hey, are we playing ghosts?”

“No,” Derpy said, “I’m looking for my box.” She coughed to clear the last of the flour out of her lungs and stood up. “It’s trying to run away.”

“Oh, I hate when boxes run away and I . . .”

Pinkie trailed off as Derpy prowled down the street, scanning left and right for the stray parcel. In her twelve years delivering mail she had never once lost a package, nor allowed rain or snow to prevent her from doing her duty.

“Look out!”

Derpy jumped back as Scootaloo flew by on her scooter. As she watched the filly go, she saw a startled postal package jump out from behind a tree, and scurry away.

“Aha, I’ve got you now!” Derpy yelled. She sprinted over, pushing ponies out of her way as the box fled into the marketplace.

Once she slowed down, she saw the many street vendors at their stalls, and nearly every stall had boxes stacked alongside it.

“Great, it had to be boxes. Why can’t they ever stack fruit or plushies or something?” Derpy wondered out loud.

She walked up to the first stall and began poking boxes with her hoof. The culprit wasn’t here, as none of the boxes tried to run away. There would have also been a black postal stamp on the box in question.

Derpy walked up to the next stall. “Howdy, Derpy,” Applejack said. “Can ah interest ya in some apples?”

“No thanks, I’m looking for a fugitive shipping box. It is ten by ten by twelve inches, double-corrugated cardboard, crush test rating two hundred pounds, with industrial grade brown packing tape,” Derpy explained.

Applejack stood there with her mouth agape before blinking and coming to her senses. “Say what now?”

“I lost my box,” Derpy said.

“Oh, well is it here?” she asked, gesturing to her stack of empty apple boxes.

“Nope. Thanks!”

She flew off to the next stall. In no time at all she checked the cherry, orange, strawberry, lettuce, and carrot stalls. She was beginning to wonder why so many ponies prefered to sell vegetables and fruits in the middle of a street when Filthy Rich had a perfectly good, air conditioned grocery store.

She wiped the sweat from her brow and approached a cabbage vendor.

“Can I inte—”

“No!” Derpy barked. “I need to find my box. I’ve never lost a box, and I’m not letting this one get away!”

The tan stallion backed up. “Okay, okay. Look around.”

Derpy sniffed the air and listened carefully. She could feel it in her bones; the package was nearby. With a little concentration she brought her eyes into alignment and began to poke the boxes, watching carefully for their reaction.

The first box was full, but did not move. The next sounded empty. Right as she poked the third box, she heard a thud from another box behind the stand.

Derpy’s head shot up over the cabbage stand. On the other side of it, next to the stallion, the brown package was getting away.

“Grab that box!” Derpy screamed. She jumped over the cabbage stand, knocking it down, and spilling cabbages everywhere. Derpy raced after the box before it could get away.

Big Mac had to stop hauling his cart of apples to avoid running her over as she darted across the road. He looked for what she was chasing, but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

Derpy ran around the corner blindly, colliding with Rarity, and knocking her over into the dirt.

“My mane!” Rarity cried out.

“Sorry, but I need to find my—there it is!” Derpy said.

Rarity stood up and began to dust herself off, as the box inched behind her to hide. “Why, I’ll have to move up my spa appointment to today, and postpone the dress order! This is the worst possi—umpf!”

Derpy dove under Rarity, causing her to lose her balance and fall on top of her. The box was just a hoof away but she couldn’t stretch far enough to grab it in time. She wiggled out from under Rarity and resumed the chase as the box ran down the alleyway.

It kept turning blindly around corners, but Derpy managed to just barely keep up. Finally, it went back onto the main street next to the spinach vendor. It froze next to some other boxes.

Derpy saw her prey stop to take a breath, and gave a feral grin. “I’ve got you now!”

She stalked to the edge of the alleyway, and leapt onto the box. Derpy nearly crushed it, and it began to shake frantically as it tried to get away.

Derpy looked down at it. “Ha! I win—oh no, the box is damaged!”

She looked at the hole in the box, putting her muzzle right next to it to peek inside. In a flash, a yellow beak poked through and bit her nose, before squawking. Derpy dropped the box, and it took off again.

This time she reacted quicker, diving on the box and tumbling into the middle of the street. She lifted it up and saw two small feet scurrying frantically through one of the airholes.

“Haha! There’s no running away now. Let’s see. . . Deliver directly to Sweet Apple Acres, rush delivery. Easy day!”

Derpy grasped the box firmly and flew up into the air towards Sweet Apple Acres.

Big Mac and Applejack watched in surprise as they watched Derpy tackle a stationary box. She began laughing and talking to the box, before flying off with it.

“There’s somethin’ off about that mare,” Applejack said.

“Eeyup.”

21. You Don't Remember? E/Tr

21. Twilight's Best Day Ever :: E/Co/Meta

{Everyone}{Comedy}{Meta Humor}

Twilight has finally figured out how to cope with the stress of being a Princess. She sets out to make every one of her friends smile, ensuring that she has the best day ever.

******************************************

Twilight had a rough first few months as an alicorn, but today was going to be the best day ever. She had everything planned to the last detail. She was going to visit everypony in town, give gifts to make them smile, and ensure everypony was as happy as could be.

Her first stop was with Dash. She landed on her porch and knocked on the door. After a minute, Dash opened it. “Hey, Twi, what’s up?”

“Hi Dash!” Twilight cheered. “I’m so glad you’re here. I got you a special gift today.”

“Whoa, awesome! I sure am glad to see you in a good mood for a change. What is the gift?”

Twilight pulled a bundle of books out of her saddlebags. “It’s an autographed, first edition of the entire Daring Do series. I even managed to get the next book early, just for you! It’s not due out for eight more months.”

Dash’s mouth fell open and her eyes went wide. She mumbled and nearly squealed in joy, before managing a more composed response. “Thanks! This is so awesome!”

“Anything for my friends, Dash, that’s why I’m in such a good mood.” Twilight smiled, and then turned to leave. “I’ve got more gifts to give, see you later!”

Dash could do little but watch in shock as Twilight flew off towards the next house.

Twilight ran into the Cutie Mark Crusaders as they debated their next crusade in the middle of the street.

“And I say it’s safe! It’s just a ring of fire, it looks worse than it really is,” Scootaloo said.

“Ah reckon’ we should try somethin’ safer like cooking,” Applebloom stated.

“No,” Sweetie interrupted. “Rarity won’t let me near the kitchen, we should try to help at the day spa.”

“Oh girls,” Twilight said. She waited until she had their attention. “Don’t you see? It’s so simple! Cutie marks come when a pony finds what their special talent is. A pony's special talent is always something they’re naturally good at.

“Scootaloo, you ride that scooter everywhere. You can do stunts, choreography, and your hoof-eye coordination is amazing. Your cutie mark has something to do with your natural talents and athleticism! Stop trying things like cooking, and focus on stunts.”

“See?” Scootaloo asked, “I told you the ring of fire was a good idea!”

“Scootaloo, for you maybe, but Sweetie here was born to be a singer.”

“I what?” Sweetie asked.

“You can create wonderful lyrics, you have a lovely voice, and you’re a smart young filly. I bet if you spent more time working with your music, singing, or just creative activities, you’d have your cutie mark in no time.

“And Apple Bloom, Applejack told me how you rebuilt that clubhouse in under two hours with only a box of nails and a few planks of wood. That’s impressive. Most ponies would need power tools, sheet wood, shingles, not to mention new panes of glass, shutters, weatherproofing, and a slide rule. Focus on building things and you’ll be set.”

Twilight smiled as the crusaders stared at her in awe, each one finally realizing they were already talented at something.

“Thanks!” they shouted, before running off and talking excitedly about their plans for the day.

Twilight’s next stop was sugarcube corner. At first she wasn’t sure what to get Pinkie, but in the end it was quite simple.

“Pinkie, are you here?” she called out from the store’s front counter.

Pinkie popped up from behind the counter. “Of course I am, where else would I be?”

Twilight smiled. “I got you a very special gift: My Mother’s cookbook. She gave it to me when I moved to Ponyville. It’s got every recipe and sweet treat that has been in our family for generations.”

Pinkie gasped. “But aren’t family recipes usually secret?”

“I won’t be using them so I thought you could! I also told Spike you can come by and help yourself to any of my kitchenware or appliances. In fact, if you ever want to move out of Sugarcube Corner, I bet Spike would let you live in the library.”

“Don’t you mean you’d let me live in the library?”

“Oh, of course.” Twilight giggled and levitated a few cookbooks onto the counter. “Got to run, I have more gifts to give!”

“Thanks, Twilight!” Pinkie shouted as the alicorn trotted out the front door.

Rarity was always too generous for her own good, and Twilight knew she was barely making the rent for her lavish store. She decided to pay Rarity ten times what her latest dress was worth to help her out. It was enough bits for several months rent, and nearly every bit Twilight had.

Twilight trotted into the shop, setting off the bell above the door. “Rarity, I’m here to pay for my dress.”

Rarity looked up from her sewing machine. “Oh, Twilight, that’s not necessary.”

“I insist, we all have to pay the bills.” Twilight levitated the bag of bits out next to her cash register.

“Thanks you, darling, but the dress isn’t ready for two more days.”

“That’s okay,” Twilight replied. “I’ll pay now and come back in a couple days. I’m sure it’ll be an amazing dress. I also brought some books on fashion designs throughout history. You probably already know them all, but I’ve got too many books in the library anyway. . .”

Rarity got up and trotted over to Twilight and hugged her. The two mares were smiling. “Twilight, thank you. I don’t know how to repay you. You’ve been so stressed and sad since becoming a Princess. It warms my heart to see you this happy.”

“Oh, it’s like they say, Rarity: there is a light at the end of the tunnel. All that hard work and stress, and I’ve finally figured out how to be happy! I won’t have to worry about all that silly stress anymore.” Twilight laughed and hugged Rarity again. “I’ll miss you, take care!”

Twilight turned and trotted out the door towards her next friend.

“Well ah’ll be, Twilight, ah reckon ya cast that spell on every single apple tree, and we got 800 of ‘em!” Applejack exclaimed.

Twilight was panting, tired from the exhausting work. “No problem. . . I’m just glad to finally do this. . .  for you.”

Applejack was smiling widely, and Twilight returned the gesture. “Well with those spell ta keep the pests off the trees, ah’m sure this harvest will be enough to pay off our debt on the barn. Ah don’t reckon ya can cast a spell on it so it stops getting wrecked all the time?”

“I would if I could, Applejack. These fertility and pest control spells will be worth it, mark my words! I doubt anymore than a dozen ponies in Equestria have the skill to cast these spells, but I’d do anything for you.”

“Well, ah got ta get back to apple buckin’. Thanks again, Twi, I hope you stay this happy.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be this happy for the rest of my life! It’s a bright new day. Oh, and tell Mac he can keep the Smarty Pants doll!”

Twilight trotted out of the orchard towards her last friend.

Having already met her best friends, and having doled out various gifts to dozens of other Ponyville citizens, Fluttershy was the last stop.

Twilight knocked on the door, and was quickly greeted and invited inside.

“Twilight, is everything okay? Should I get some tea for us?” Fluttershy asked.

“Oh, no need to do that, Fluttershy. I stopped by to thank you. If it weren’t for you and Dr. Mind, I wouldn’t be feeling so happy today!”

Fluttershy smiled and sat down on the couch, gesturing Twilight over. “Oh, I’m so happy to hear that.”

Twilight sat down next to her. “In fact, I brought over some of my favorite things to show you how grateful I am. First off, I want you to look after Spike, he’s having some. . . emotional issues too.”

“Oh really? He seemed fine!”

“Yeah, just check on him tomorrow and you’ll see what I mean. I also brought you as many herbs, medicines, and books on veterinary practices as I could. In fact, I even got Mayor Mare to eliminate your property taxes, as you run a non-profit veterinary clinic! You’ll save hundreds of bits a year!”

“Oh. . . I um. . . that’s so much, how can I ever thank you?” Fluttershy asked.

“Just smile for me.” Twilight waited for her to sheepishly grin, and then hugged her. “Thanks, Fluttershy. You were always the nicest pony to me. You take care now!”

“But, won’t you stay for tea?” Fluttershy asked.

Twilight had already made her way out the door.

At long last Twilight got to the library. She let herself in and quickly found her assistant. “Oh, hi Spike!”

“Hey, Twilight, why have you been giving all our stuff away?” Spike asked.

“Just a little spring cleaning and generosity! In fact, I have some bits here for you to go get ice cream with Rarity. I told Pinkie you were coming, so she’s got some gem sprinkles ready for you,” Twilight said.

Spike immediately forgot all about the empty bookshelves and Twilight’s sudden mood swing. “Thanks! Did she ask to see me? Do you think she wants go see that new play at the theater?”

“Oh, Spike, one step at a time, okay?” Twilight hugged him. “I love you, Spike, now run along and have fun.”

Spike walked to the door and hesitated for a moment, looking back at Twilight. There was a hint of recognition or doubt in his eyes. Twilight just smiled widely until he finally grinned, turned, and walked out the door.

Now that Twilight was alone it was time to wrap up her best day ever. She trot around the library checking the shelves. All of the books that didn’t belong to the public library had been given away: Twilight’s entire private collection. Her dressers were empty, with all the clothes being donated to charity.

Twilight had given away her many chemistry supplies, herbs, and medicines. She had gotten rid of the cooking appliances, Daring Do books, and posters. Aside from her bed, and Spike’s personal belongings, she had succeeded in gifting every item she owned to her best friends to remember her by.

Twilight pulled a box out from under her bed that had a bright yellow smiley face drawn on it. She lifted out length of rope that had already been prepared and tied it to a rafter overhead. She used her magic to test it out and ensure it was sturdy. Next, she took out a small silver ring and placed it over her horn. It clicked painfully into place, locking itself onto her horn and blocking her magic.

Last, she cleared off her night stand and climbed on top of it. She put the noose around her neck, and took one last look around.

Her library, her life, was finally empty and complete. She was happy. Her friends were happy. She could go out on her own terms and never have to suffer the stress and responsibility of being a Princess again. All her suffering and trials were finally at an end.

She tightened up the rope, and then bucked the night stand away from her. Twilight fell, her body weight causing the rope to bite into her neck and collapse her trachea.

She spasmed and struggled helplessly, her magic blocked. Within ten seconds, she had blacked out from lack of blood flow. In a few minutes, she’d be brain dead.

Her smile managed to stay on her face until the very end.

It was over.

She was at peace now.

“Hey, Twilight, Rarity says you paid her too much money,” Spike said. He walked through the front door of the library, followed closely by the fashionista.

Spike gasped, and Rarity fainted, at what they saw.

22. My Life as a Wonderbolt :: E/Sl

22. How to Save a Life :: E/Sa

{Everyone}{Sad}{Slice of Life}

There some things in this world that, no matter how long you do it, it’s never just a job. It doesn’t feel like one and it really isn’t one, it’s more.

Dedicated to Gweat and Powaful Twixie who wrote 90% of, but never finished or published this. He has since returned to the fandom from his long absence.

***********************************************

Some ponies grow up wanting to do something like being a fashion designer, or an egghead, or a farmer. And then there’s that one pony whose cutie mark is a freakin bag of money and he’s just super rich I guess. Isn’t that a pretty sweet talent?

 I’m getting off track.

Some of them even get there too. They land that dream job, but a lot of them don’t realize that every job comes with boring stuff. They gotta sit down and sew the same design for hours, they gotta read books you don’t want to, they gotta farm... things. Soon enough, they come to live with it. It’s the price of getting to do what you want to do most of the time. Not me though. I was meant to be a Wonderbolt and thats what I became. I’m a high speed, precision flying athlete of world-class physical condition.

Sound awesome? That’s because it is.

We fly shows, perform around Equestria, and generally be awesome in front of other ponies. I’m sort of the crowd favourite because I’ve got the one trick nopony else can do, the Sonic Rainboom. It’s a tough job having legions of screaming fans, but somepony’s gotta do it.

Well, maybe the autographs after the show get old, but that’s like the only thing. You know, because I have so many to sign.

“And an autograph for the cute pegasus,” I said, stamping my hoofprint on the headshot. I held it out for her without looking up from my desk.

Fluttershy blushed for a moment before going back to her sullen, heartbroken face. I didn’t know it, but her eyes were puffy and red and she looked like all kinds of upset.

“Oh... um, thanks...” she said taking it. “Are you busy? I-i was hoping we could talk...”

“All interview bids should be sent straight to my agent. He’s a pretty chill guy. Here, because I like ya, here’s his card. Stay awesome,” I said with false bravado and a click of my tongue for the fifth time today.

I flicked out a card and held it up for her to take as well. After stamping a few more autographs with my hoof hanging, I realized she wasn’t taking it. Whatever, I wasn’t going to ask her more than once.

I waved the card at her. “Hey, you want this or not?”

I heard whimpering come from the pony and sighed. If this was another starstruck cadet hoping to get my attention with a breakdown sob story, they had another thing coming. I raised my shades and looked up.

“Fluttershy! What the hay are you doing here?!” I nearly shouted.

She winced.

“... i-i... nothing.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. Just— force of habit, you know?” I tried to console. “You were sayin’ something about...”

I internally slapped myself. I had forgotten what she had said only moments before. Sometimes I tune stuff like this out. I get it so often that I could never pay attention to everypony all the time. Fluttershy was different though. It rung strange to my ear to know I didn’t recognize her voice instantly.

“... oh, I-i j-just wanted to talk,” she stammered, wiping her tear-stained cheeks.

“Oh geez, please don’t cry. I didn’t just say really dumb stuff, did I?”

I did a quick recap. To my horror, I did.

“Gah, I feel like an idiot. I’m really sorry! Hey, to make it up to you, how about I give you free tickets to my next show!?”

“No, please no more tickets...”

“Season passes?” I tried with a cool smile.

“No...”

“Backstage V.I.—”

“I don’t want those! I want to just talk to you!” she burst out much to my surprise, raising her voice just near the end.

The silence afterwards was only broken by her now open sobbing. I probably looked like a complete jerk watching her cry. It was just too weird. I could count the number of times Fluttershy yelled at me on one hoof, counting this time.

I looked nervously to today’s agenda. I had a practice, a show, and a charity appearance today. I bit my lip and looked between my own headshots on the table in front of me and the crying pegasus.

“Y-yeah, okay. You know what? I think— I think I can take the rest of the day off...”

We found a little cloud to share, just the two of us. It was hidden between two big nimbus clouds, zero chance of some punk kids recognizing me and blowing my cover. Last thing I wanted was for the paparazzi to show up and scare her away.

Fluttershy hadn’t stopped crying, but she stopped the whimpering and even smiled a bit on the way there.

As we laid there, I realized she was sort of frowning a whole bunch and stuff. I figured that she was crying because I had been a jerkwad, but she had me all to herself on a private cloud now and I said sorry. Fluttershy wanted my attention, and she got it. I didn’t expect her to still be broken up.

“Th-thanks for doing this for me,” she said, finally breaking a long, but comfortable silence.

She sniffled quietly and looked down at her hooves.

“Yeah, of course. Sorry, I’ve been dodging you guys so much. I think I’m gonna go to a part-time schedule, so I can spend more time with you and the gang.”

“That’d be... nice...”

She was quiet for a few moments. I thought she hadn’t heard me, but as soon as I was about to say something, she spoke.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, anything,” I replied warmly.

She started to shake and sob again.

“Wh-what’s it like to make a difference?”

“What?” I asked a little stupidly in retrospect.

“What’s it like to change a pony’s life forever?”

“I... don’t know...?” I replied with even greater retrospective stupidity.

Her face scrunched up and she clenched her eyes. Tears began streaming down her face. She pounded the cloud with her hoof in frustration.

“Because I don’t do that. I’ve never done that! I’m just worthless! I don’t inspire anypony! I don’t make anypony happy! All I do is feed animals! Anypony could do that! What’s it even worth?!’ she cried hysterically.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, just take it easy! Who even told you all that?”

“Why does it matter?! It’s true!”

Face in hooves, Fluttershy cried straight into the cloud. Slowly, she found her way into my lap and latched onto me.

“No way, it totally matters who told you that, because they are gonna be in a world of hurt. Nopony makes you cry on my watch,” I reassured her.

“See?! You make a difference! You help ponies! You save them! I don’t!” she cried

“I’m not saving anypony right now!” I refuted for reasons that were never clear to me. It made Fluttershy cry harder and I gave myself another internal slap. “But that’s not the point... Point is, they’re wrong. You help lots of ponies.”

“Not like you! You save lives!”

“Yeah, so?”

“I-it’s different!”

“How?” I said, a little standoffish.

She was quieter now. I think she was thinking really hard about something. She had been crying, so that probably had something to do with it. Now she was quiet... or something. I didn’t feel like I was getting it. Sure, she wasn’t a Wonderbolt, but Fluttershy helped ponies all the time.

“Because without you, somepony’s mom isn’t going to get to see their son or daughter again... Without me, they might have to get a better bird choir at their wedding...”

“But that’s just my job...”

“Yeah, I guess it is. And mine is being worthless... Thanks for the talk.”

Fluttershy got up and flew off towards the the ground, wailing. I think she wanted me to follow her, because she sort of hung in midair and looked back at me, but I didn’t. I watched her go and heard her crying fade into the forest below. I’d have to say, if I regret anything it would be not following her.

In my defense, I was dumbfounded. She hadn’t ever came to me like that before. Maybe that was the sign that something was really wrong, but I hadn’t caught on fast enough. She was crying, but that wasn’t unusual. Somepony had hurt her feelings, also not unusual. Usually, I gave her space, but I just didn’t know what she wanted at the time. I mean, she said ‘thanks’ at the end. What was I supposed to think?

Note to self: get better at reading other ponies’ emotions and stop being such an idiot.

I had already called in sick and lounging about the house left me thinking about Fluttershy for way too long. It bothered me a lot more than usual, but I didn’t do anything. I went out for a lap around Cloudsdale, and went back to my house and napped for the rest of the day.

I woke up from it feeling like garbage, the crummy feeling of waking up tired of sleeping.

Days passed quickly. I forgot about Fluttershy’s visit soon after. She was almost always upset about something, and even though I couldn’t be there for her, she had the rest of our friends to fall back on. It was strange she even came to me in the first place. I hated to admit it, but if I was her, I wouldn’t have come to me at all. I’d been so distant after becoming a lead in the Wonderbolts, that I just couldn’t keep up with her or anypony for that matter.

What could I even talk to her about anymore?

Yet, even that short exchange reminded me why I was friends with her. It was the sort of deep stuff she always brought to me. Most of the time, we’d talk for hours instead of a few minutes, and I also wouldn’t get half the things she said. Of course I’d hear them, but not in the meaningful way.

This time though, I felt compelled to try and figure out what she had told me.

Being part of the Wonderbolts also meant I was one of Equestria’s first defenses against danger. Something big and scary happened, I was there to deal with it. I saved lives, returned the baby to her mother, stood around for photos, and went home. It was my job, and I was pretty good at it.

It was also a ton of fun, which is why I did it.

Fluttershy’s job was taking care of animals, and I’m pretty sure she liked it too. Maybe it wasn’t as exciting as being a wonderbolt, but I’m also pretty sure she hated exciting things.

“Okay, so if you like being quiet and taking care of animals, you’d hate being a Wonderbolt, right?” I asked Soarin’ as he lounged about on my couch..

“Makes sense to me,” he replied.

“So, she’s just getting upset over nothing,” I confirmed.

“Well, I wouldn’t just throw away her concerns like that. If she came all the way to Cloudsdale to see you, then it must be important to her.”

“I know, but I can’t figure it out. She loves animals, she makes a difference in their lives, she’s a superstar to them, is she having midlife crisis or something?”

“You should probably go ask her.”

“But she said something about how we return ponies to their parents and all she does is rent out a bird choir,” I deflected.

Part of me wanted to go and see her, but another part felt I had made too much of a mule of myself.

“Yeah, we save lives, Dash. It’s nothing to scoff at.”

There was a silence. I was too lost in thought.

“Do you know how many lives you’ve saved? Have you kept count?” he pried.

“No, why? Should I be?”

“I do, and I know Spitfire does,” he said stoically. “You don’t have to. We’re not gonna kick you out or anything. You’re too good at flying,” he gave me a weak smile which I returned. “Do you at least remember each one?”

I thought for a moment. There was the time I saved Rarity, and the entire Mare-Do-Well incident. After I joined the Wonderbolts, I saved a bunch more ponies. I tried to go down the timeline, but after tallying it up, I only counted eleven, and that felt way too low.

“Uhh, not really,” I admitted. “I’ll start now though.”

He sighed.

“Dash, I’m not gonna lecture you or tell you how to think, but remember, we’re changing ponies’ lives, and not just the one we’re saving. Really, they won’t know the difference if we’re dead or not, but the ponies around them will.

A few weeks passed without incident. I mostly forgot about Fluttershy’s visit and went back to my routine. I took my work a little more seriously though. I tried to be more genuine when I held the baby who always seemed to be rolling down a ridiculously steep hill in a stroller. I looked their parent in the eye when I hoofed their child over and said a few rehearsed lines to put them at ease.

It brought me a greater satisfaction in doing so. It was one of those small truths about the world that I kept with me all the time. Whenever I looked a situation, I tried to look at the value of the lives involved first.

I wasn’t very good at it, but I was getting better and better each day.

Then it came to me. It was a simple letter that swirled in a cloud of smoke through the window. I was sitting at my desk, looking through some paperwork when I immediately recognized it as one of Spike’s letters.

It was unusual because Twilight rarely sent me letters anymore. Honestly, I really missed talking to Twilight about books and Daring Do and pretty much everything else in general. We had tried to stay in touch, writing weekly letters back and forth, but I was always so distracted. Wonderbolt life was fast, too fast to sit around and write letters to old friends. Twilight figured that out in in a really sucky way.

 After leaving one of her letters hanging for a month, I finally wrote back telling her not to bother.

I remember getting Soarin’ to write it for me cause I kept crying like a big baby and messing up the paper.

Thinking back, I probably got way too emotional about it, but whatever. I might have liked the egghead a little bit more than friends at the time, so that probably made it worse. It was in the past now.

Still, I took Twilight’s letter and eagerly tore it open with thoughts about getting back in touch running my mind.

As I read through it, my heart sank and sank. I remember laughing because I just didn’t know what to think of it at the time. Looking back, that probably would have painted me a psychopath, but I don’t think it really mattered. What mattered was the letter, and my making sure it wasn’t the sickest joke on planet.

I think I broke a few flying ordinances on my way to Twilight, but I didn’t give a flying feather.

I anxiously pounded on her door a few times. A few grueling moments passed and I pounded again. I considered breaking in through the window and blaming it on messing up a trick like I had done so many times before. I wasn’t really in the mood to wait for information.

If Twilight didn’t answer her door right then, I probably would have torn her a new one in the ceiling. Twilight looked like a trainwreck. Her mane was a mess, her eyes were bloodshot, and she was sobbing quietly. It was clear she hadn’t slept in a few days. Seeing her led me to the conclusion that she had to be a really, impossibly good actor, because that letter wasn’t allowed to be true.

“Rainbow...” she squeaked.

I held the letter up to her in my mouth.

“T-this ith a jokthe, rigth...?” I said. I dropped it and continued to stare into her broken eyes. “Please, Twi, tell me this is some kind of stupid joke.

“N-no, i-it’s not....” she stammered before falling into my arms and sobbing deeply in my shoulder.

I held her and squeezed her tightly, letting the shock wear off. The unicorn’s howls and wails actually got louder, evident of something that was getting more and more damaged by the second. I was on the same boat as her. Of all the things I never imagined happening, this was one of them.

After a few moments, it began to hit me. The onset was slow, steady, and unending. It only got worse, and even after I thought I couldn’t be sadder, I got worse. I could feel my eyes getting wet and my lungs beginning to contract rapidly. I was about to cry like a huge wuss, but I think the situation called for it.

“H-how did this happen...?” I choked. A few tears surfaced, but I wiped them away quickly and sniffled up some snot.

“S-she c-came to a-all of us...” Twilight replied. She pulled me inside and closed the door. It went without saying, we’d rather cry in privacy than out in the open.

“I-i know— but how did it happen?! We were all here for her!” I cried.

Twilight broke down and fell to the floor of the library. “I ignored her!” she wailed. “I just thought she was being sensitive! I didn’t think anything more of it! And then she kept avoiding us and I didn’t do anything!”

“Where is she? Take me to her!”

Instead of seeing Fluttershy, I got to see a doctor.

“So, the patient—”

“Fluttershy, her name is Fluttershy, pal,” I butted in.

He wrinkled his nose in obvious annoyance, but didn’t look up from his clipboard. “She can’t have any visitors, she’s in a very delicate condition.”

I considered knocking down the door myself to get to her. Fluttershy apparently hadn’t had a very good month. I learned that two days ago she was found in a pool of her own blood, her legs slit up their length. Next to her was an empty jar and a few white pills.

She had tried to kill herself and not a single, stupid pony knew why.

“What do you mean I can’t see her?!” I shouted.

“Ms. Dash, if you want your friend to recover, I suggest that you lower your voice. Startling her might put her back into critical condition.”

I ground my teeth against each other.

“I think she needs to see her friends,” I seethed.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you in. Right now, she’s stable, but considering the amount of aspirin in her system, and the effects of an overdose, she needs quiet and calm.”

I think it took every fiber of my being to prevent myself from decking the guy in the face. He probably didn’t deserve it, but Fluttershy didn’t deserve to be alone. If it was me in there, I wouldn’t get better until I saw my friends.

“Fine, but you keep her alive. I saved your life before, and I’m calling that debt back.”

I knocked, pushing out of my way stomped out and went back to the waiting room.

I spent two long days in that waiting room. The others came and went, but I was the only one who stayed the entire time. I found myself reading pamphlets and foal’s books to pass the time. I came to read one about choices for funeral homes over and over again. All I could think was how sick it was to put this sort of reading next to ponies who might be in her position.

Images of Fluttershy in a casket forced their way into my mind, and I struggled to forced them back out. I couldn’t believe what had happened.

Why? Why did she try to kill herself? How come I didn’t do anything for her?

I had the chance to make it better for her. I remembered how she hung in midair for just a second. She wanted me to follow her, and I stayed up on my cloud. I let myself forget about her, thinking that someone else would do something.

“She freaking waited for me,” I swore under my breath.

“She freaking waited for me!” I shouted to myself. “And you know what I did? Nothing! I was the dumb idiot who just sits around and watches bad things happen without acting!”

One of the nurses heard me shouting and came over to check on me. “Ms. Dash?”

“It’s my fault! I could have saved her!”

“Dash, I’m sorry but you did your best—”

“No, I didn’t!”

I collapsed down on the plastic chair I’d been living in for the past two days and finally let myself go. Everything that had happened to her—her pain and suffering—I could have ended it all if I’d shown her how much I care. If I’d just given her the time of day.

It must have been hours that I lay there as a wreck, finally struggling to sort out my emotions, when I noticed the nurse get up and the hoofsteps of a doctor approaching.

When I looked up at the doctor, he immediately looked away from my gaze. “Ms. Dash. . .”

It had been two months since I’d last seen Fluttershy, and even now as I was searching a burning building for a missing filly she was all I could think about. I had thrown myself into my work with the Wonderbolts, more determined than ever to make a difference. And yet, you can’t choose when to have a disaster so you can be a hero, you can only wait for an opportunity to present itself and seize it.

I finally found the filly cowering under the stairs of her house. I coaxed her out and put her onto my back as a rafter fell from the ceiling, narrowly missing us. I hurried to the nearest window and could feel my feathers and fur getting singed from the heat of the fire.

Once I made it to the ground I gave the filly to her worried mother and watched them hug. For once the hollow platitudes I usually recited weren’t enough. I knelt down and joined them in a hug, and didn’t gloat or bask in her praise for saving her filly. Instead, I just told her how lucky she was to have such an amazing mother, and how happy I was to have helped them out.

Soarin had walked over once we were done, having finished helping the firefighters put out the blaze. “Glad to see you doing better, Dash.”

“It's a start, Soarin. That filly makes one.”

23. Pinkie the Cupcake Whisperer :: T/Da/Co

23. 700 Follower Special; 700 Shades of Neigh :: M/Da/Sex,Gore

{Mature}{Sex}{Gore}{Dark}{Random}

Discord spent a thousand years in a fate worse than death. After staging a coup, he ensures a thousand years of the worst torture possible for every single pony in Equestria. It truly is some excellent chaos.

The most random thing ever written. A celebration of my 700th follow!

(bonus: I hid an alternate ending to Puppet to her Fame in here.)

***************************************

“Oh, Gummy, you’re so cute when you’re trying to eat my hoof,” Pinkie said.

As she laid on her bed reading a book on how to bake a triple chocolate fudge cupcake, her pet alligator was chewing on her back left hoof. Gummy seemed to enjoy tasting the many flavors of dirt on her hoof. Pinkie often wondered if he would ever try to eat any animals without his teeth. She had trained him to be a vegetarian, but always wondered.

Pinkie looked back to see Gummy swallowing her hoof. “Huh? Careful now, Gummy, you’re not big enough to swallow my hoof!” Pinkie giggled, and stuck her other hind hoof against his snout. “Off you go, silly!”

Gummy opened his mouth in a wide yawn, and Pinkie’s other foot pushed against the roof of his mouth. Instead of him being peeled off, her other hoof slid into his expanding gullet. Gummy clamped down his jaw on her hind hooves and began to suck. Somehow he was much stronger than he usually was.

“Uh, Gummy, what’s going on?” Pinkie asked. She tried to pull her legs out but he had already swallowed them up to her flanks. “This doesn’t seem physically possible, and I’m me!”

Gummy blinked slowly, and there was a loud popping sound as he dislocated his jaw. He then swallowed her plot. His belly was visibly distending as Pinkie slid in.

“Oh, I’ve had this dream before! Hmm, should I pinch myself or enjoy it?” Pinkie tapped a hoof to her jaw and looked down at the book she was reading. “Oh, that’s right! It’s Discord’s anniversary party for one year of being reformed today! Sorry, Gummy, mommy needs to wake up!”

Pinkie was giggling as Gummy swallowed her stomach. She could feel that his slippery throat was impossibly tight around her flanks and plot, and it was turning her on. Pinkie pinched herself to wake up from the dream but nothing happened. She pinched herself again and had the same result.

“Wait a minute, if this isn’t a dream. . . I must have drank too much cough syrup again!” Pinkie giggled as Gummy’s lips brushed against her forearms. “Okie dokie lokie, this cough syrup fueled fantasy is over, silly filly!”

Pinkie pushed at Gummy’s jaw with both of her forehooves. To her horror, he opened his jaw and her hooves slid inside. She started to pull them out, but as soon as his lips closed, that impossibly strong suction pulled them back in. As Pinkie’s mane deflated, she could feel every inch of her body being compressed by his throat muscles.

“G-Gummy? M-mommy doesn’t w-wanna play this g-game anymore,” Pinkie whimpered.

He responded by swallowing her in up to her neck. Pinkie screamed as his bulging stomach sealed tightly around her lower body and squeezed her. She looked around panicked. “Mr. Cake! Twilight! Anypony!”

Gummy slid his lips over Pinkie’s head, leaving only the pink hair outside. He then slowly swallowed it and licked his eyes.

Inside his stomach, Pinkie had been curled into the fetal position. She couldn’t move an inch, not even to breath. What little air she was getting was humid and stale, as the tight slippery stomach writhed around her.

As she lost consciousness she couldn’t help but wonder why this was turning her on. Her last act in Equestria was to orgasm right as her brain shut down.

Twilight woke up feeling rather groggy. She looked around and noticed she wasn’t in her room. Instead, she seemed to be in a white room, almost like a hospital. She tried to cast a spell to get rid of her headache, only to be rewarded with an empty feeling. She reached up to her head and felt the tiny nub of a horn, almost like an infant.

She sat forward and noticed a long cord attached to her stomach. Tugging on it was painful, and she looked at where it was going. In front of her was her mother, legs spread wide apart in stirrups.

“Good, Ms. Twilight, now pull!” Discord said.

Twilight spun to face him. “Gah gah? Boo?! WAAAAAH!”

Discord laughed loudly. “Now, now, little baby, you’d best get back inside your mommy where you belong!”

Hundreds of thoughts ran through Twilight’s mind. This was clearly either a nightmare or a coup. She tried to cast a spell and could not, so she tried to run. Her legs pulled weakly at the bed sheets and she made no progress. Finally, Twilight tried to rip the umbilical cord off. A sharp jolt of pain let her realize this was no dream.

She looked up in horror as the umbilical cord was slowly sucked into her mother’s pussy. The large lips seemed to blink at her, inviting her in. Twilight screamed and mumbled as her infantile vocabulary attempted to express her horror.

She felt the wet slap of the labia on her sides as the umbilical cord dragged her into the waiting vagina. Twilight looked back at Discord with malice in her eyes.

“Come now, Twilight, did you think after a thousand years of torment in stone I’d let you off that easily? I’m afraid you’ll be unbirthed for eternity! Yes, your mother will live a comfortable life in my new Equestria, but you will forevermore be a twinkle in your mother’s eye!” Discord laughed and patted Twilight on the head. “I hope it’s comfortable in there!”

Twilight struggled to brace her legs against her mother’s plot as she was sucked in. The force was too strong and she was slowly enveloped by powerful muscular walls. She watched the lights dim as her head was pulled inside. Twilight reached both legs out, grasping onto the sheets with all her might. The vagina slowly sealed itself up around her hooves.

The pressure hurt too much, and finally her hooves were forced to let go and slide inside. The light dimmed as the cervix shrank to a hole the size of her nostril. Twilight could barely make out the faint glimmer of a single beam of light passing inside. Soon, a membrane sealed over the hole and she felt fluid surrounding her.

Twilight pushed against the uterus, trying desperately to break free. The fluid flowed into her mouth and nose, and in her panic she breathed deeply. The liquid filled her lungs and she began to cough and choke. After several minutes of thrashing, she realized she wasn’t drowning. Warmth flowed into her stomach from the umbilical cord, sustaining her life with oxygen and nutrients.

As she floated there, she felt her mother get up onto her hooves. She had just enough room to shift into a few positions of comfort inside the uterus. Twilight pushed down at the membrane towards the exit to her prison to no avail. She was trapped for eternity in her mother’s womb.

“Congratulations, Ms. Sparkle! It was a filly!” Discord said. He patted her on the back. “Now, run along and enjoy your life of luxury. Just remember that if your water breaks to come and see me right away. I wouldn’t want you to give birth!”

Ms. Sparkle’s glazed eyes and vacant smile betrayed the control Discord had over her. She trotted out of the hospital and towards her home where she would spend her days eating ice cream and pickles, with her daughter, Twilight, swimming around in her womb.

Dash yawned and rolled over in bed. She opened an eye to look out the window where she saw chocolate rain.

After a minute of snoring gently, she jolted awake. One does not simply make it rain chocolate. Dash jumped to the floor and ran towards the window. Already she knew Discord was up to his old tricks.

Only half way to the window Dash felt her hooves stick in the cloud floor. She looked down and saw herself sinking. The fluffy cloud was enveloping her legs, and her entire body was tingling.

“What the hay?” She looked around and saw no sign of Discord, and in her confusion considered this was too strange to be happening. While she pondered if it was a nightmare, the cloud climbed up her legs.

Dash felt a sharp pain as her hooves and lower legs dissolved into the cloud. She screamed in pain as she fell down into the cloud flooring. Dash thrashed wildly as her body began to feel lighter than air and vanish into the cloud.

Soon she was overwhelmed with the pain, and felt herself floating out the window. She tried to flap her wings or make some movement, but could not. Dash looked down and realized she seemed to be inside a cloud. Streaks of rainbow colors ran through the cloud, but she could not move. Pain wracked her body, but she could not scream. Dash had become part of an ordinary cloud, and the dash of color was the only hint she had ever been real.

She floated up into the atmosphere inside her cloud prison, unable to beg anypony for help.

Fluttershy heard a ruckus downstairs and trotted down them to find Discord sitting on her couch as it floated in mid-air.

“Discord? What a pleasant surprise!” Fluttershy trotted over with a wide smile.

“I’m afraid not, Fluttershy. There’s been a slight problem,” Discord said.

“Oh? What is wrong?” she asked.

“You see, I’m taking over Equestria and I’m not sure what to do with you. As the closest thing I had to a friend, I don’t want to eternally torture you, yet you no doubt do not approve of what I’ll have to do to take over.”

Fluttershy tilted her head to the side. “Huh?” Her brain couldn’t process the idea that Discord would suddenly go on a rampage of revenge.

Discord pulled out a white plushy with pink, green, and blue hair. “See? This is what I did to Celestia. She’ll spend eternity as an anatomically correct plushy, at least until I get bored and devise another torture for her. Luna I turned into a rock. She always was a bore. . .”

She gasped. “Wait, why would you do that? Turn them back right now!” Fluttershy’s eyes went wide as she stared at him. “I thought we were friends!”

“We are! Otherwise, you’d already be a field mouse running from a hungry snake,” Discord said. He spread his arms and shrugged. “Thus my dilemma. What’ll it be? Do you choose me or your other friends?”

Fluttershy stomped her hoof. “If you could be this mean to everypony then you aren’t my friend! You’ll be alone for the rest of your life.”

“Fair enough. Say, would you mind identifying one animal for me before I go?” Discord asked. He pulled a bird out from behind his back.

“That’s a Cockatri—” Fluttershy closed her eyes but it was too late. She had already seen its eyes and felt her legs turning to stone. “N-no! Discord, why?!”

“You said it yourself, you’re not my friend, but I’m still your friend. I’ll take good care of you in my statue garden. Trust me, an eternity trapped unmoving in your own body is far better than the fates I gave your friends.”

Fluttershy could feel tears running down her cheeks as they turned to stone. The tears hardened and for the rest of eternity Discord would have a perfect statue of her weeping.

Rarity was sewing a dress when she heard a dozen rowdy stallions walk into the shop. She was about to walk out into the show room and scold them when she stepped on something wet.

Looking down, she saw a large sheet of white latex on the floor. In one swift movement, it sprung up around her, bagging her. Rarity screamed as it sealed tightly around her, melting to her skin. Soon she could barely move as it solidified and cooled.

From her position Rarity could see herself in the mirror. When the latex faded from her eyes, she saw a pristine white pony with pink hair, large red circular lips, and large tits. She could feel a large hollow hole where her pussy and ass were as she felt the sensation of plastic all over her. They had turned into the perfect fuck toys of a sex doll.

Rarity tried to cast a spell or scream, but both proved useless. She was now semi-rigid plastic and couldn’t move.

“Psi alpha gamma! This Boutique will be the perfect frat house when we get rid of the girly stuff!” Several stallions trotted in.

“Whoa, check out that life-like sex doll!” a stallion said.

“You’re right! Dibs!” a large tan one said.

“Second!” a large black one said.

Rarity tried to protest as the first stallion wasted no time mounting her. She felt him plop easily into her permanently-lubed and perfectly-shaped plastic pussy. As he began thrusting in and out, Rarity began to lose her memory.

Each thrust brought her one step closer to orgasm. The first step, and she forgot about her sister Sweetie. A second thrust erased her memory of the elements of harmony. Soon, all she could remember was that her name was Rarity, that she was a sex doll, and that she liked to be fucked.

Her world exploded in an orgasm as another stallion began to fuck her in the mouth. She greedily wanted more stallions to violate her. A small part of her old self remained, seemingly immune, and screaming for help in the back of her mind. Discord had left just enough of her intact to realize this was in fact a torture, and that her enjoyment was only making her condition worse.

Applejack trotted down into her apple cellar. “Big Mac, are y’all down here?”

“Sure am, Sis,” he replied.

She turned the corner and saw the mutilated remains of the three Cutie Mark Crusaders. They had been brutally torn apart, and apparently raped, and were covered in semen.

“What the fuck?!” Applejack shouted.

Big Mac didn’t even bother to reply as he tackled her and pinned her on her stomach against the wall. He wrapped his forelegs around her shoulders and thrust his massive cock into her ass, not even bothering for any lubrication.

Applejack screamed in pain as he penetrated and tore into her tight plot. She tried to kick him off, but at this point he was latched on. Big Mac had flared inside her, and her entire back was raked with agony.

“Ah had ta make ‘em shut up, and now ah’ll kill ya too!” Big Mac explained.

“Why?!” Applejack managed. “Stop!”

She cringed as she heard something snap and realized it was one of her forelegs. Big Mac had used it for leverage and broken one of the bones. He thrust like a machine into her ass, shredding it. Warm liquid flowed down her flanks onto the floor as he fucked her to death.

Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, she felt Mac come. He then snapped her neck in one swift motion.

* * *

Applejack trotted down into her apple cellar. “Big Mac, are y’all down here?”

“Sure am, Sis,” he replied.

She turned the corner and saw the mutilated remains of the three Cutie Mark Crusaders. They had been brutally torn apart, and apparently raped, and were covered in semen.

“What the fuck?!” Applejack shouted. She then had a realization. “Wait, didn’t I just—”

Mac tackled her to the ground as she pondered her Deja Vu. The large penis violated her tight ass again. Applejack had clenched her muscles tightly, yet it had made no difference. Something wasn’t right here. However, she could do little but scream in agony as she was fucked to death again. Maybe she’d have better luck the next time she came down into the cellar.

Scootaloo peeked her head out of the chicken coop in her own personal hell. She clucked, and then ran down the ramp. The wire fence around the enclosure was too high for her to jump over, and she couldn’t fly. The other chickens would peck at her and tear her feathers out. As the newest chicken, she was lowest on the totem pole.

It seemed like some sort of bad dream. Dash was doing stunts in the sky, Fluttershy would come to feed her, even Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom would crusade nearby every once and awhile. Yet, for all the apparently normal things, Scootaloo was trapped in the body of a chicken.

She could barely remember what it had been like to be a pony. After the fourth time a timberwolf had broken into the chicken coup and eaten her, Scootaloo began to wonder if she had ever really been a pony. Maybe she had always been some sort of freaky immortal chicken, trapped in a gilded cage.

She clucked loudly as the rooster walked over to her. Scootaloo didn’t know why, but when she let the rooster have his way with her the other hens would leave her alone.

The chickens felt rain begin to fall. Scootaloo couldn’t help but look up in wide-eyed wonder. The raindrops were so fascinating. She opened her beak to taste them.

Drop after drop fell down into her mouth. Soon, Scootaloo found it hard to breath. She wanted to look away, but couldn’t. She was powerless to do anything but look straight up as drops of chocolate rain fell down into her throat and drowned her.

On the bright side, it beat being eaten alive by a timberwolf.

Apple Bloom squealed and tightened up her thigh muscles. With a loud hiss, she squirted out her marecum twelve feet. It was an impressive showing, and might be enough to win the contest this time. . .

“And the winner is. . . Diamond Tiara!” Discord announced. “Sorry, Apple Bloom, but you’ll have to spend another week mining for the Diamond Dogs. Better luck next time!”

Apple Bloom opened her mouth to protest when a large paw grabbed her, and dragged her by the tail back towards the mines. Ever since the rise of Discord, cum shooting had been his favorite way of deciding which ponies deserved a break from their torture. If she could only get a little better at it, maybe practice a little more late at night with the Diamond Dogs, she could get a break.

Sweetie Belle trot down the main street of Ponyville with her head hung low. Ever since Discord returned, she had been invisible. It was like she was a ghost, unworthy of notice by anypony.

At first, when Rarity had ignored her, all had seemed normal. Soon, Sweetie saw several stallions putting their penises into Rarity. She had been confused and had screamed for them to stop, but none of them heard her. When she would try to touch them, her hoof would pass through them.

It had been this way for weeks. Sweetie was little more than a ghost. Not a single soul in all of Ponyville to keep her company. She had visited Scootaloo, who was a chicken, and Apple Bloom, when she went to the weekly cum shot tournaments, but no longer cared.

She was less than a pony. Her friends, family, everypony couldn’t even see her. Worse, she couldn’t kill herself. Sweetie had jumped from every ledge, cliff, and building. She couldn’t even lift a knife let alone hurt herself. Sweetie was trapped as if seeing the world through a window: unable to interact, a mere observer to her own life.

Mr. Cake screamed as his wife pulled him out of her saddle bag. Somehow, every single day, he woke up as a tampon. Then, every single day, his wife would insert him into her pussy. And most impressively, every single day, she would lose pints of blood and he would soak them up.

At first what had seemed like some bizzarre dream became his eterntal torture. He wasn’t sure what he did to deserve it, but he knew there was only one draconequus who could be behind it.

Chrysalis smiled as she glued Celestia’s plushy body to the wall. Discord had spared the changelings in exchange for enforcing his new world order. As a reward, she had free reign to torment Celestia. So long as Chrysalis tortured her daily, Discord spared her race.

She summoned up some tentacles and began to entwine them around Celestia. Before Chrysalis could get to close, she felt a tugging on her leg. She looked down to where Discord had shackled her back leg.

Chrysalis was still a threat, and thus she was his permanent ‘guest’. Still, at least she had something to pass the time.

There was a large tearing sound as the tentacles began to pull apart the plushy Celestia one limb at a time. Perhaps after this, she would turn Celestia into a marital aid and have some real fun.

Luna was being driven crazy. Snips had found her sitting on the side of the road, and like all colts his age, had decided to have a pet rock.

Luna now sat on Snips’ desk in his room. He had drawn a smiley face on what had once been her plot. It was now the south-facing side of her smooth rock exterior.

She spent her days bored as Snips ran around, enjoying whatever chaos or torture was allotted him in accordance with Discord being—well—Discord. At night, Snips would play with her and talk to her.

Apparently, Snips only had one friend, Snails. After Snails had been turned into a snail, cooked, and eaten by Discord, Snips was all alone.

Luna would feel bad for the colt, were she not a rock slowly growing moss. Snips wasn’t the most attentive pet owner, and she could feel the slimy, green plant growing along what had once been her nose. The worst part of being a rock was that she could still feel her body. It was rock shaped, but the moss itched horribly along her nose and for days she had the urge to sneeze.

As a pet rock, however, Luna could do little but sit there and think about where it had all gone wrong. Even a thousand years on the moon could not prepare her for being Snips’ pet rock.

Lyra smiled as she lay in bed, obviously playing out a sexual fantasy for Discord. She patted her stomach where she had swallowed Vinyl and Octavia. Lyra felt them sliding down into her intestines and dissolving.

“Come now, darling, shit on me!” Discord said. “I know you want to!”

Lyra grunted as she turned the two ponies inside her to feces. She slowly took a large dump on Discord’s chest. The poop was squeezed out like soft serve ice cream, curling up on him.

“Oh yes, now, be a dear and clean it up,” Discord said with a wicked laugh. “Oh, I do love watching you ponies do anything for a few days without being tortured!”

Lyra whinnied, then lowered herself onto Discord’s massive Minotaur cock. As he fucked her pussy into oblivion, she licked up every trace of feces from his chest. As the foul tasting shit gathered in her stomach, she could feel Vinyl and Octavia coming back to life. They would struggle in her stomach, die, and be shit onto Discord again. The whole time, Lyra would be getting fucked.

At least in exchange, Discord had promised to stop turning Bon Bon into chocolate candies and eating her.

Inkie looked down at Blinkie and grinned. She pulled out a knife and carefully ran it across her skin, careful not to cut her. As Inkie played with the knives, Blinkie began to sweat. This cycle had been repeating for weeks. No matter how hard the two tried, every day they would wake up and tie up the other one. Whoever lost the wrestling match was then slowly carved up and cooked into steak.

Somehow it was incredibly sensual. Blinkie wasn’t sure if Discord intended that, or if in her insanity the caress of the knife was the closest thing to something good happening to her that she could feel.

Inkie put a few pounds of pressure on the knife, easily slicing through Blinkie’s flank. As she carved out a chunk of meat to cook and feed to Blinkie, both mares moaned in enjoyment. Their addled minds could do little but replay the same sequence of events over and over.

Halt was a rather slow earth pony. He blended into the crowd and had the lame colors of brown hair and fur. Luckily for him, Discord saved him from his own stupidity. Now, his short curly hair, giant lips, and ill-proportioned penis was put to better use.

Halt was now providing an endless supply of food for a colony of bullet ants. They are called this because the pain of their sting is akin to being shot by a bullet. Considering that only Discord has been known to use guns, it is a pain most ponies can’t even fathom.

No matter how long the bullet ants sting and feed on him, Halt regenerates the next morning. As his punishment for being too fucking stupid to realize Discord has taken over, he has been sentenced to suffer for eternity until he apologizes to Discord. Then, and only then, will Discord laugh and leave him to suffer for the rest of eternity without an audience.

Cheerilee tried to scream as the fillies in the classroom tackled her. No sooner had the chalk become sentient and fled from the classroom did she realize something was not right. If she had known Discord had returned, she may have tried to calm the kids down.

Instead, the fillies were now wrapping her up in saran wrap. Cheerilee was wondering where they would get saran wrap in the first place, when she felt a large intruder slide between her legs.

“Stop, fillies, what is—mmph!”

Diamond shoved a ball gag into her mouth before wrapping the plastic over her face. All of Cheerilee’s struggling was useless as the first thing they had done was wrap her forehooves to her sides. She felt a mild vibrating from the intruder buried in her pussy as her hind legs were wrapped up.

She felt like she was being mummified by her students. Her suspicions were confirmed when they dropped her into a wooden casket. Before the lid closed, she caught a blurry image of Discord laughing in the background.

Something began filling the casket and expanding. The foam spread, pinning her mummified body until it could not move an inch. A narrow tube was jammed into her nose and led out of the casket allowing her to take shallow breaths that were never enough.

As Cheerilee struggled she began to get turned on by the constant buzzing in her loins. She was terrified of being buried alive, and yet somehow Discord had made it even worse by sexually arousing her.

Soft thuds reached her ears through the casket and foam as she was buried. Her world was darkness as she was sealed inside the casket for eternity.

Octavia looked up from the stage. "Wait, Vinyl, come back!" she shouted. The strings and hooks buried in her flesh vanished as her willpower overpowered the dark presence.

Vinyl turned around, tears still streaming from her face. "Octy?"

"I choose you, Vinyl, screw the music and the puppeteer! I love you. I want to spend my whole life with you!"

Vinyl and Octavia ran towards each other and hugged, then fell to the ground in their loving embrace.

“I’ve been through so much, murdering my parents, being a slave to a dark force I can’t understand. . . you saved me, Vinyl. Thank you.”

Octavia kissed her lover as she felt a hoof probe her labia.

Suddenly, rocks fell the from the ceiling killing them both.

“Tell me, Fluttershy, do you like what I’ve done with the place?” Discord asked.

From his perch on a large weeping willow tree that was once Pound Cake, Discord looked down over his garden. He had used his magic to expand the town tall to make an indoor museum of sorts, where he could display all his favorite works of art.

In a corner was Twilight’s mother, knitting a blanket for Discord as Twilight slept in her womb.

Discord approached the stoned statue of Fluttershy and brushed a few twigs off her. “You see, darling, Twilight over there isn’t doing so well. I  know you can’t speak, or move, but imagine how much worse off she is.”

Fluttershy was stuck staring straight ahead at her friends. An oddly rainbow colored cloud floated in a corner, occasionally raining color onto a bed of flowers. In the center of the flowers was a small gravestone for Cheerilee. Next to that was a machine-like set of pods with several ponies stuck inside them.

“I wonder,” Discord said, “if you’re wondering about the pods. Well, I can’t make every pony suffer physically. Several, like Applejack, are reliving nightmares in the safety of their cocoons for the rest of eternity. If you’d like, I can show you how they’re doing.”

Fluttershy felt a hand placed upon her head and suddenly was looking down on Derpy Hooves.

The poor mail mare was running through the post office looking for Dinky. She tripped and fell onto a conveyor belt, and was pulled into a silver machine. The machine scanned her, determining the proper size box needed and how to safely pack the parcel.

As Derpy tried to scramble out, two large zip ties were maneuvered by mechanical arms around her. She was quickly pinned with her legs to her sides. The arms then folded her neck painfully tight against her stomach, turning her into a small ball that would fit nicely in a flat rate package.

She struggled to break free of the zip ties as a large laminating sheet lowered over her. The conveyor positioned her perfectly into the middle of a vacuum mould. There was a loud hissing sound as the scalding hot plastic was lowered onto Derpy, and the air removed.

Seconds later, she had been sealed into a tight plastic shell, and her furious struggles to breath resulted in tiny movements. The machine picked this up and after scanning for a couple minutes, discovered a ventilation hole was needed in the package. A small hole was placed near her nose and the package visibly calmed down.

A box was filled with packing peanuts as Derpy was lifted off the conveyor belt. A large metal barcode was stamped on Derpy’s side, burning the shipping destination and contents onto her flank. She was then lowered into the box and it was taped closed.

Another barcode was affixed to the side as the box was taken by the atuomated machine and set on a shelf next to another smaller box. Unknown to Dinky or Derpy, they would be shipped off together to Griffonia. There, they would find an error in the barcode and return the packages to sender. Eventually the two would die of dehydration and wake up back in the factory.

Fluttershy felt Discord lift his hand off of her. “So you see, I’m having much more fun than I did a thousand years ago. And to think, I used to let the ponies who worshipped me go largely un-tortured, but this is a much better setup, don’t you think?”

Discord grinned and summoned himself a futon to sit on. He knew that by now Fluttershy had probably given up her struggling. He knew from experience how boring being a statue could be, so he made sure she occasionally got to see her friends.

By now, Twilight’s mouth and nose would have devolved into a patch of solid skin. Her ears and eyes would likely vanish next, and he made sure her unbirth would stop there. She would remain mobile, blind, and mute in her mother’s stomach for eternity.

Discord glanced over to the Dash could. Last time he had checked in on her, she had gone bat shit insane. The cloud occasionally twitched when the pony had enough force of will to focus.

Rarity lay in the corner. She had been punctured by the rambunctious stallions and he would repair her and send her back over later today. Applejack was in one of the cocoons, and Gummy sat in a shallow pool of water slowly digesting Pinkie over the next thousand years. He looked rather comical, almost like a volleyball.

There was a loud roar as Discord looked over at his bronze bull.

Gonzo was an earth pony from Mexicolt. He once made the mistake of being an asshole to Discord. Sufficeth to say, when the god of chaos comes to turn you into a fence post, you shouldn’t bitch about it.

Now, Gonzo was trapped inside a large bronze bull. Beneath him was a roaring fire. The bull had been welded shut with him inside, and no matter how much he struggled or tried to avoid it, the bronze bull was burning hot.

His hooves had long since melted off, and his fur was all burnt off. He screamed as loud as he could, and his voice carried through a horn causing the bull to make a lovely roaring sound.

Gonzo thought he would have died by now, yet somehow he seemed to be immune to death. At one point he tried laying down flat on the bottom to scald himself to death. Now, his entire left side was little more than scar tissue that somehow could still feel pain.

He began to cackle, causing the bull to snort. If only he had known that being an asshole to a god-like being that controls your fate was a bad idea.

Craig was an annoying pony. When Discord took over, he had won a power sander. Now, he had been strapped down to a table by Flitter.

“Want the 20 fine or the 30 coarse this time?” Flitter asked.

“Please stop, this is so not winning!” Craig said.

“30 coarse it is!”

Craig Kicker screamed as the sander was powered on and brought down on his muzzle. Flitter pushed it down as the pony flailed against his restraints. The sander was splattering blood everywhere as it quickly sanded his skin off, and began to fill the air with the smell of smouldering bone.

Craig could do little but rue the day he pissed off Discord with his mere existence. When Flitter was done he took a deep breath, inhaling chunks of bloody burnt flesh. She then lowered the sander down to his stallionhood.

With a loud scream, Craig spit bloody chunks into the air. Flitter was now using the power sander to slowly shave off his penis. This was always the worst part of the torture. After this was done, Flitter would sand down all four hooves until his legs were gone up to his knees. Then, she would sand his stomach open, and then his rib cage, and finally she would kill him by sanding his trachea and carotid arteries open.

Shining Armor had always been fascinated by the angler fish. Unfortunately for him, Discord had found this out when he staged his coup.

Shining had been in the middle of having sex with his wife, Cadance, when Discord caught them. He cast a simple spell, causing Shining to fuse himself onto Cadance.

Unable to pull out, Shining had spent load after load inside her, eventually passing out. When he woke up, his body had been largely absorbed into Cadance. He was now just a large pair of testicles and a penis providing a lifetime supply of sperm to Cadance.

Cadance, on the other hand, was prodigiously pregnant. She already had eight foals in her womb and Shining was still pumping her full of more sperm. She wasn’t sure how she was going to deliver them all, or if Shining was even self-aware anymore. The Princess of Love had cried at first for her lost love. However, compared to the tortures Discord had dealt out to the crystal ponies, she had it pretty good. Shining’s penis was good in the sack, and kept her occupied.

All the crystal ponies had been solidified, and shattered one at a time with a giant magical sledge hammer. They now littered the street as sharp fragments that made it very awkward to try to roll anywhere. Cadance was so fat her hooves no longer reached the ground, but that was okay. She had everything she needed pumping away in her pussy, and until the day she popped, Cadance was making the best of her torture.

The Great and Powerful Trixie woke up in her run down apartment and looked down the window. She sighed, and looked down at her forehooves where there were dozens of scars. She looked up at the rafters where four torn ropes hung, the remains of nooses.

As the most pathetic pony in existence, Discord had given her a special torture: he left her alone. Her life was already a living hell. She barely had any personality, was a total failure at life, and couldn’t even commit suicide properly. Now she was stuck in her shitty life forever.

On the bright side, Trixie had fan fiction. She wrote stories about a human who went to work each day at a job he hated, bitched about it, and then shot up the workplace. She wasn’t sure how to end it. On the one hoof, it’d be most believable if he was caught. On the other hoof, she really wanted him to have a happy ending.

Trixie levitated down her quill and went for a bath. She decided after the human shot up the fifth workplace he had worked at, he would retire from the violent rampages, find a nice human female, and raise a family.

She swallowed a bottle of aspirin, drank a liter of red wine, and got into the hot bath water. This would be her four hundred thirty-seventh attempt at committing suicide by slitting her wrists. Even though she knew it wouldn’t work, it was one of the more enjoyable ways to try and kill herself.

Spike exhaled his emerald flame on the bars of his cage.

“Bad Spike!” Rarity shouted. She used her magic to knock a pail of cold water over on him.

Spike tried to scream in protest, but Rarity had put a muzzle on him. When Discord took over, he made Spike Rarity’s pet.

Now, Spike was trapped in a two foot by two foot cage, muzzled, and had been neutered like all responsible pet owners do. He had a cone around his head so he didn’t lick and bite at the stitches where his balls used to be.

Spike thrashed wildly against the bars as Rarity leaned over, presenting her moist pussy to the large black stallion that had been rutting her for the past four hours.

There had been a time when Spike had been madly in love with Rarity. Now, if he ever got out of this cage, he was going to rip her throat out and bathe in her blood. Spike didn’t know how he had ever loved that slut.

Berry Punch was sitting in the middle of an empty wastleland crying. At first, the power to turn everything she touched into alcohol was really awesome. Now, after turning all of Ponyville into puddles of ethanol, it had lost it’s charm.

What was the point of getting drunk, if the only thing to ever eat or drink was alcohol? It just wasn’t fun if she couldn’t spent at least a few moments sober, to contrast her constant drunken state.

It didn’t help that she could also turn ponies into alcohol. She had single handedly, and absent mindedly, killed every single friend she ever had when she touched them.

Now her body was 90% alcohol, she cried tears of alcohol, and sat in the middle of an alcoholic wasteland, forever alone.

Discord kicked his hooves up and turned on the T.V. He was bored of all the chaos and decided to see if there were any new episodes of his favorite shows. Unfortunately there were not, so he moaned and looked back towards his captive audience.

With every pony in Equestria now suffering a fate worse than death, and his revenge complete, Discord was beginning to get lonely.

He smirked and knew exactly what he had to do. He would turn Fluttershy’s pussy back to flesh and fuck the stone statue. The poor mare deserved a little entertainment. After all, it had only been five years and until the next nine hundred ninety-five years of Equestria’s prison sentence was complete, nopony was going to escape.

        Discord had an epipheny: he could use the mane six as sex toys. Fluttershy, the sturdy stone slut. Rarity, the rubber rut. Dash, the delicate dick-holster. Pinkie, the pink-blow-job-in-an-aligator. Twilight, the tiny-fetus he could bat around in her mother’s womb with his massive cock. Last, but not least, was Applejack. Occasionally, Discord would assume the role of Big Mac in brutally raping and killing the CMC and AJ.

        Yes, life was looking up for Discord. The world was his oyster, and every single pony that had ever lived got to suffer for eternity because of the acts of a few stupid fucking idiots.

24. Raid of the Royal Cookie Jar :: E/Co

24. Rats in the Walls :: T/Da/Gore - Lovecraft

{Teen}{Gore}{Dark}

I had never experienced problems in Carousel Boutique, until one night I heard something scurrying in the walls. Opalescence heard them too, but I could not convince my friends they were there.

Frustrated, I tore open the wall beneath the stairs. Behind the water heater I found a path down to a basement in my home I had never known existed. I went down with my friends to find the source of the rats in my walls.

A reimagining of “The Rats in the Walls” by H.P. Lovecraft

The last story as a part of one-shot week.

*******************************************

My family had lived in Ponyville since it’s founding. Along with Sweet Apple Acres, my home was one of the oldest buildings in the town. There were a few halloween stories that centered around my boutique. Often these foal’s tales involved a mad seamstress who turned ponies into dolls, or a butcher who slaughtered and ate ponies in her basement.

Aside from my friend Dash constantly basing pranks on those silly stories, I never paid them much heed. Shortly after Twilight was coronated a princess, that changed.

I was up late sewing when I went up to check on Sweetie Belle. She was fast asleep in bed when I heard Opalescence hissing. Following it to the source revealed my cat hissing and clawing at the wall between my bedroom and Sweetie Belle’s room.

I put an ear to the wall and shrieked. Several sets of feet were scurrying around in the wall. My outburst woke Sweetie, who came out of her room and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Sweetie, there are rats infesting the walls! We need to get out of here at once,” I explained.

She leaned up against the wall and listened. “I don’t hear anything, I’m goinng to bed.”

I put my ear up to the wall and still heard them scurrying. “They’re still there!”

“No they’re not.” She groaned and shook her head. “The only noise is you being scared of the dark.”

I laughed nervously and headed into my room. Opal curled up on my bed as I slid down into the covers. It had been a very long day and I assured myself it was all in my imagination. Before I could get to sleep, I heard the rats again, behind the thick curtains near the window.

I timidly sat up, igniting my horn so that I could see. This woke Opal up, who immediately growled and jump from the bed, clear across the room, and attacked the curtains. By the time I levitated them away from the wall, there was nothing behind them. Any rats she may have been attacking were long gone.

That night I didn’t sleep well. Opal wouldn’t stop prowling the room. If I locked her out, she would claw at the door to get in. If I let her in, she would patrol the bed and keep me awake.

By morning not even three cups of coffee improved my mood. I headed immediately towards the library for assistance. I ran into Twilight outside the library. She was water the bushes around her house.

“Twilight, I need your help,” I said.

She turned around and dropped the watering can in shock. “Oh no, you look awful. What happened?”

“There are rats infesting my home. I need you to use your magic to get rid of them!”

“Oh, well. . .” Twilight bit her lip and thought about it. “I don’t really know any extermination spells, and I doubt Fluttershy would be happy if we hurt them. Maybe a spell to scare them out?”

“I don’t care how you do it, just do! They’re driving me crazy.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

I followed her back to my home and tapped a hoof impatiently as she scanned the house. She started on the ground floor and worked her way up to the third. Her magic illuminated the walls, allowing her to see through them. After two hours checking and double-checking the walls, we had not found a single rat.

She left to go get Fluttershy for her opinion, and no sooner had the front door close I heard the scurrying feet again. They raced under the floorboards towards the kitchen with Opal in hot pursuit. Upon entering the kitchen, I found the window open and two of the neighbor’s cats had let themselves in.

Together, the three cats explored the kitchen, looking for a way to get under the floorboards. Opalescence climbed on top of the sink and tried to climb down into the garbage disposal, so I trotted over and pulled her out with my magic. She tried to claw me, so I held her in mid-air with my magic and scolded her.

That was when I heard shrieks of agony from beneath the floorboard, and something akin to hundreds off claws scraping on wood. I turned in time to see the second of the neighbor’s cats crawl under the stove, beneath the floorboards. It too wailed in pain before falling silent.

I grabbed the plank of wood they had dislodged to get under the floorboards and jammed it back in place. The scurrying rats fled, and I closed the window before setting Opal down. She immediately went over to the stove and started clawing at it.

“Oh dear,” Fluttershy said. “Poor Opal seems all worked up.”

“When did you get here? Did you see that! The rats killed the neighbor’s two cats!” I shouted.

Fluttershy tried to calm down my pet as Twilight scanned the floor and walls. “Rarity, I’m not seeing any cats or rats, and no bones. Are you sure you saw that?”

“Yes I’m sure, look!” I tugged the loose floorboard and pulled it up. “Right there!”

Twilight knelt down and examined under the stove closely. “Sorry, there’s nothing there. Why don’t you come sleep at the library tonight to calm down?”

“I will not be run out of my house by these rats! I want them gone by the time Sweetie gets home from school!”

“Oh dear, I don’t know why Opal is angry, but I can tell there are no rats here,” Fluttershy said. “They have a particular odor, and I know all their habits and signs. I don’t see any indication you have rats.”

Twilight sighed. “Look, I’m sorry Rarity but there is nothing more I can do. I’m four hours late for a town hall meeting now, I wish I could help but I’ve already given you all the time I can.”

She walked over and hugged me, before letting herself out of the house.

The scurrying began again as soon as she left, and I saw Fluttershy glance directly at the wall. “There, you heard it! Right, Fluttershy?”

“I think so,” she said. “But, it’s gone now.”

“No it’s not, they’re under the floorboards, why can’t you hear them?!”

Fluttershy came over and draped a wing over me. “Let’s go upstairs and get some sleep.”

She led me up to my bed and tucked me in. Then she asked if I would like her to use hypnosis to help me sleep. I agreed, and stared into her eyes as she counted backwards from ten. Despite the rats clawing at the underside of my bed, I was able to fall asleep with Fluttershy there to keep me safe.

Days passed in this manner. I had pest control, all five of my closest friends, and even let the crusaders take a shot at finding the rats. No matter how many ponies looked, Opal and I were the only ones that seemed to notice them.

What bothered me the most was my neighbors. They claimed a day before their cats had died under my floorboards, a lovely pegasus couple from Canterlot had adopted them and taken them to live there. I grilled them and tried to catch them in their lie, to prove I had watched their cats get torn apart, but they had none of it. They slammed the door in my face and refused to talk to me.

I haven’t sewn a single dress in four days. I sit in my work room rocking back and forth, listening to the rats scurry along. I had to send Sweetie back to live with our parents until I sort this out.

The walls, doors, and floors of my house are covered in scratch marks. Opal’s claws have begun to bleed as she whittled them down chasing the rats. She hardly eats her cat food, and even a can of wet food is not enough to sate her apparent blood lust for the rats in my walls.

I decide I’ve had enough that morning and follow the sounds of the rats downstairs. I can hear them beneath the stairs in the small closet containing the water heater. I open the door only for the sounds to stop.

In my anger, I tear the planks of wood off the wall and bash the water heater. After a minute spent tearing it apart, I notice something glimmer in the wall. Stepping closer, I see a silver handrail and a set of narrow stairs.

I use my horn to light up the staircase, and take a few timid steps down it. Beneath my house is a basement that should not—can not exist. It is not in any of the blueprints for my home, my parents never mentioned it.

My first thought is to get Twilight and rub this in her face. I can hear the rats trapped in the basement. I close the door so they don’t escape, and run outside. When I run into her and Dash in front of the library, I ask Dash to round up all the girls. I demand they bring their elements, but Twilight talks to me condescendingly, telling my I’m over reacting.

Finally the six of us are back at my house.

“Right here,” I say, opening the door. “There is a path down into a basement that isn’t on any of my blueprints. Nopony ever told me this house had a basement.”

“Fascinating,” Twilight said. “I wonder if it was a new addition.”

Applejack fastens a construction helmet she brought over onto her head, complete with a small light. She had used them when excavating ground for her new apple cellar.

Soon the four non-unicorns are using these helmets to help them see. Twilight heads down into the basement first, and I follow her.

I scream as I feel something land on my back and dig into it. I turn in time to see Opal catapult off my back and vanish into the basement. As my heart slows down, I manage to find a couple light bulbs hanging from the ceiling. One of them still works and casts and eerie glow in the room.

There are no boxes or tools or household items in the basement. It is empty, save for another larger staircase heading deeper underground.

“Why do I get the feeling this is something out of a Daring Do novel?” Rainbow asks.

“Ah reckon ah ain’t ever seen anything like it,” Applejack adds.

“I can still hear the rats, can you?” I ask.

“No, I think it’s best we leave and—”

“Twilight,” Fluttershy interrupts. “I think I do hear something, and I don’t want Opal to get hurt. Let’s search it now.”

Pinkie giggles. “Yeah, it’s not so scary with these flashlights on our heads!”

“Alright, girls, let’s go.”

Twilight leads us down the steps. I lose count at seventy-two when I notice the glimmering of enchanted gemstones. They provide a soft illumination to the underground chamber we walk into. It must be hundreds of feet below Ponyville, and we all begin to gasp as the enormity of it hits us.

“There is an entire city down here,” I observe.

“This can’t be, how did an entire city end up underground?” Twilight asked.

“Granny ain’t never said anything about the Belle family minin’ or buildin’ underground,” Applejack said.

“What about the legend?” Dash said. She made an eerie ooOOoo sound. “The Ponyville Butcher, who lured ponies to their deaths in her basement. . . and ATE THEM!”

Dash pounces on me and I scream in horror, before throwing her off my back with my magic. She lands on the ground and starts laughing.

“That’s not funny!” I yell.

“Dash, stop that!” Twilight says. “Look, there’s a few buildings but it doesn’t look more than a few hundred feet across. I saw we split up, find Opal, and come back with more help.”

We all agreed and split into teams. Unfortunately, I got stuck with Dash. Fluttershy went off with Pinkie, and Applejack accompanied Twilight.

I lit the way as Dash hovered behind me. She had her legs crossed and was pouting because I refused to speak to her until she apologized for her stupid prank.

The first thing we passed were some stables, sized for a pony, but with wooden slats and locks on them. They would have been more suited to imprison a pony, then provide them a place to sleep. It was odd, since nopony would treat another like an animal.

Heading deeper into the cave I nearly stumbled into a dark pit. I stopped myself in time and looked down into the pit. There were piles of bones in the bottom that had been gnawed on. They were decayed and had no flesh left attached to them.

I heard Dash land, gasping and then letting out a frightened whimper. “R-Rarity, I d-don’t wanna l-look around a-anymore!”

As we looked into that pit, I counted at least two dozen ponies in it. Every bone had teeth marks and claw marks in it. This proved there were rats, and a great deal more than I had thought possible. There must have been enough to overrun the entire town, forcing Celestia to bury it.

I heard Dash scream and turned to see her against the wall, covered in rats. I ran to her aid, throwing them off with my magic but there were too many. I began to pound them with my hooves and bite them to try and save my friend.

They bit deeply into Dash, and her blood was splattering everywhere. It was not until I heard Fluttershy scream that I had stopped the rats from attacking Dash.

“Fluttershy?! Help, the rats! They’ve attacked Dash!” I yelled.

She just stood there staring at me, backing away slowly with a horrified look on her face.

“Fluttershy! Help!” I screamed.

I turned back to look at Dash, who lay lifeless on the ground.

“No,” I whimpered.

The rats had killed her, leaving a mangled body behind.

I heard Fluttershy squeal as she backed away from me and fell into the pit, and the clamoring of bones as she landed on them.

The rats were back, and I ran to Fluttershy’s aid. That was when Pinkie caught up and barred my path. She took one look at Dash and vomitted.

Twilight was not far behind, but instead of helping Dash I felt her use her magic to lock my hooves together.

“Twilight? What’s going on?” I asked.

I looked at myself and noticed all of Dash’s blood on me. “It was the rats! We need to get out of here!”

I lost consciousness as Twilight cast a spell on me. When I woke up, I found myself in a pristine white padded room. My forelegs were snuggly hugging my chest. That was the day I learned I had been put into an insane asylum, and I have been there since.

My friends claimed not to have seen any of the rats. I am sure the rumors of the Ponyville butcher have started up again, but I know they are lies. Everytime I try to tell my doctors about the rats, they get upset. They talk about my treatment and how I am setting it back.

I know Fluttershy was locked in the insane asylum too. She is in the room next to mine, and I can hear them talk to her on occasion.

They forbid me to speak to her.

One day when I demanded to know why, my doctor told me. She said that when Fluttershy found me, I had been chewing on Dash’s throat.

I screamed at her, calling her a liar. Once they had calmed me down and dragged me back to my room, my doctor told me that all four of my friends had turned on me.

All four of my friends claimed to have seen me gnawing on Dash’s corpse, and I had been admitted the same day.

25 Flutter to her Fame :: T/Da/Tr

25. Fluttershy Visits an Animal Farm :: T/Da/Gore

{Teen}{Gore}{Dark}

Fluttershy goes to Griffonia to cheer for Dash at her first Wonderbolts performance. However, when she checks into a hotel and sees an Animal Farm across the street and curiosity gets the best of her, she doesn’t like what she sees.

Story prompt/Requested by: Skeeter The Lurker

Part of my one-shot week.

*************************************

Fluttershy turned the key, unlocking the door to her room. It had a single queen bed and a small kitchen with a sink and microwave. She put down her luggage and flopped onto the bed. It had been a long trip to Griffonia, and she just wanted to fall asleep right now.

Unfortunately, there was no time for a nap. Her friend Dash should be arriving any moment to say hi. She had recently been accepted to the Wonderbolts, and Fluttershy had come to cheer her on at her first stunt show.

The room was too dark, so Fluttershy opened the curtains by the window. Outside, she saw a white brick building that took up most of the block across the street. There were large black letters reading ‘Animal Farm’ on the side. She was fascinated and wondered if there was a literal farm inside, like Applejack’s, or if it was some sort of petting zoo. She decided it would be good to find out.

With a yawn, she decided it could wait until tomorrow. Soon there was a knock at the door and she hurried to answer it. Dash stood on the other side in her blue jumpsuit with Wonderbolt logos.

“Dashie!” Fluttershy cheered. She jumped forward and hugged her.

“Whoa, you must have really missed me.” Dash waited for her to let go, then walked into the room. “Nice hotel room.”

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to your performance in two days.”

Dash frowned “Yeah, about that. . . Griffins don’t have Pegasi to control their weather, and they think there will be a storm. It might delay the stunt show a few days.”

“Oh, well I’ll just pay to stay a little longer,” Fluttershy said.

“Thanks! You’re awesome, Flutters. I can’t thank you enough for coming to cheer me on. If you need any extra bits or want me to treat you to dinner, just let me know.”

She yawned loudly. “Thanks, Dashie, but I’m really tired, and I think I’m going sightseeing tomorrow. Where are you staying?”

“Room 402 at the Lioness Hotel.” Dash walked over to the door and pulled it open. “Get a good night’s sleep, I bet you’ll love it here in the Griffin kingdom.”

Fluttershy locked up the door behind her and then closed the curtains. After that, she climbed into bed and slid under the covers, and quickly fell asleep.

The morning came too soon for Fluttershy. She mumbled and got out of bed, stretching. Griffin beds weren’t as comfortable as the ones in Ponyville, and the finicky air conditioner had trouble keeping the room cool.

 She put those thoughts behind her and got ready for the day. Taking a deep breath, Fluttershy smiled and trotted out the door with her saddlebags.

It only took a few minutes to exit the hotel and cross the street to the Animal Farm. She was so excited to see what kind of animals they had in Griffonia. Fluttershy entered the building through a freshly painted door and turned to the griffin receptionist.

“Welcome to The Animal Farm, can I help you?” she asked.

“Um. . . I want to take a look around and see the animals,” Fluttershy said.

The griffin raised an eyebrow and looked at her skeptically. “You want to see how we farm animals?”

“Yes.”

“And you want to just walk right in?”

“Um, do I need a ticket?” Fluttershy inquired.

The griffin laughed and responded. “No, go right ahead. It’s down this hall behind me. Tell them Carla sent you.”

The receptionist started filling her claws and ignored Fluttershy as she walked back and pushed the door open. She trotted down the hallway, smelling a mixture of industrial cleaners and something foul.

There was a sign pointing to the right towards the pigs. Fluttershy followed the arrow until she came upon another door. She saw a griffin walk by on the other side, so she quickly opened it up.

“Hello, sir, I came to see the animals,” Fluttershy said.

“Huh? Who let you back here?” he asked.

“Carla sent me.”

He chuckled. “Well, my name is Loch. The pigs are right back here.” He pointed behind him towards a large metal door.

“Oh, how strange. Why is the whole wall metal?”

“It helps us control the temperature for them,” he answered.

Fluttershy followed him over to the door and spotted a small thermometer that read forty degrees. He opened the door up and she stepped out of the way.

“Isn’t forty a little cold?”

Loch stepped back and ushered her in. “Nah, we don’t want them to rot.”

Her eyes went wide in horror and her pupils enlarged until they covered up her teal irises. Hanging from meat hooks were dozens of pig carcasses. She vomited on the floor before she knew what was happening. Her next thought was to run before she ended up on a meat hook.

Fluttershy sprinted down the first hallway she saw, and found herself in a room that smelled of feces. There were rows of pigs shoved into tiny cages. They couldn’t turn around and could only sleep standing. She screamed and took the next hallway she could to get out of the torture chamber full of squealing pigs.

The next room contained hundreds of chickens, stacked five high in at least a dozen rows running the length of the room. There were little conveyor belts for the eggs, and on one wall a griffin was plucking feathers from dead chickens.

She felt dizzy and the urge to vomit was returning. Fluttershy had to get out of here quickly. When a griffin stepped out in front of her he said something, but she was too panicked to hear it.

The next room she burst into was filled with boxes labeled “hot dogs.” There were large machines producing little sleeves of meat, and Fluttershy lost it. She screamed loudly, drawing the attention of several griffins in the room. Before they could figure out what was happening, the small pegasus had darted under a machine and out the nearest door.

She found herself back at the receptionist desk where Carla sat laughing. “Wow, you lasted five minutes longer than I thought you would!”

“Beasts!” Fluttershy yelled, staring Carla in her eyes. “How could you?!”

Carla’s mouth flopped open speechlessly, terrified and unable to look away from the pegasus. She had never been so scared in her life, especially of a pony.

“Killing all those defenseless animals! Locking them in tiny cages! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

“But I just work here, at reception!” she pleaded.

“No! Until you know what it’s like to be one of those pigs, you have no right to talk! You deserve the same treatment as those innocent animals!”

The voice echoed in Carla’s mind, lodging itself in her subconscious. She stared blankly ahead as Fluttershy stormed out the front door, furious.

Carla got up and wordlessly walked down a nearby hall and into the room with all the machinery. A couple griffins came up to ask her what the pony was doing back there. She ignored them as she climbed the ladder up to the scaffolding.

A griffin was yelling at her to get down, but her blank mind did not register it. Once Carla had reached the top of the ladder, she stepped into the meat grinder and screamed.

It had been a full day since Fluttershy had entered that den of evil across the street. She had spent the past twenty-four hours sitting in front of her window, staring at the factory. She did not get up to use the restroom or sleep. Fluttershy had watched as an ambulance carriage pulled up, and carried off something in a black vinyl bag.

As night had dragged on, the lights had stayed on and the machines had kept turning their gears, slaughtering innocent animals. Fluttershy heard the knocking at her door, and heard Rainbow Dash calling her name.

She didn’t want to eat, the thoughts of what was happening across the street had ruined her appetite. Dash probably wouldn’t understand, but she sighed and got up anyway.

Opening the door she smiled weakly. “Hi, Dash.”

“Hey, Flutters, you don’t look so well.”

“I didn’t sleep.”

“Oh, well you can come sleep in my hotel room tonight. You want to grab a bite to eat?”

Fluttershy smirked. “I lost my appetite.”

“Should we hang out here the—”

“No!” Fluttershy barked. “I’ll eat.”

Dash put a hoof on her forehead. “You sure you're not sick? If you are, you don’t have to cheer me on.”

She grabbed her saddlebags and key card and walked out. “Come on.”

Dash followed her out of the hotel, then led her to a diner that served a wide variety of pony-friendly cuisine. They both ordered salads and were seated in the non-carnivore section of the restaurant.

“Fluttershy, you haven’t heard a word I’ve said,” Dash complained.

“Ahuh.”

“Okay, what’s up?” Dash asked.

“They eat animals here; hundreds of them.”

Dash sighed. “I know, but they’re a different species, it’s their culture.”

“I knew you wouldn’t understand,” Fluttershy replied.

“What? I understand, you’re just acting so distant and you barely ate your salad.”

Fluttershy looked at her friend smiling and relaxed for a brief moment. The images were eating away at her, making it hard to focus. Finally she realized what she had to do, and Fluttershy smiled and laughed.

“You’re right, I just need some sleep, let’s go!”

Dash gasped at her sudden mood shift. “Awesome, all right.”

After they paid, Dash led them to her hotel room. Fluttershy used the restroom and then curled up under the covers of Dash’s large king bed. She stared out the window at the night sky and could see the moon. It did not help her take her mind off the Animal Farm.

Dash chatted for a while about their upcoming stunt show, and Fluttershy nodded and smiled. It took some time before Dash took the hint and turned out the light, allowing them to get to sleep.

Fluttershy refused to look at the window, knowing it was still out there. She stared at the rainbow mane of her friend as she plotted for tomorrow.

She left Dash sleeping in bed early in the morning and headed for the nearest store. Fluttershy bought some supplies, before heading back to the Animal Farm. Dash would wake up, and never realize what Fluttershy was up to.

There was a new receptionist sitting at the desk when she entered. “Hello, how can I help you?”

Fluttershy grinned and stared her in the eye. “I’m here to take the tour.” She reached into her saddlebag to grab something.

“But we don’t have a t—”

The baseball bat Fluttershy held in her mouth collided with her skull, interrupting her sentence. She fell to the floor and Fluttershy bashed her skull in over and over again. She then carried the dripping bat back to the pig farm.

Loch was there, herding a couple pigs towards the slaughterhouse. “Hey, what are you doing back here, pony?”

“Stop. Those that show no mercy deserve none.”

Loch froze and suddenly felt like a frightened school filly. “What?”

She stared him in the eyes and spoke softly, her eyes wide and commanding. “Release all the pigs, then climb in one of their cages and lock it.”

“Okay.” Loch gave her a blank look, and walked off to carry out his orders.

Using the stare on the Griffins was intoxicating, addictive, and she gave a feral grin. Fluttershy headed into the next room that contained the chickens. There was a griffin standing near the door so she hit him in the back with the baseball bat, and before he could recover, she beat him to death.

Another griffin was flying towards her to stop her, and she stared him in the eyes. He froze mid air, crashing into the cages and knocking several chickens loose. The griffin stood up and shook his head, then saw the pony staring at him.

“Freeze.”

The griffin gulped and found his legs felt like they were stuck in cement. The next thing he felt was a blunt object cracking his skull in half.

Fluttershy looked down at the chickens that had fallen out of the cages. They had been stuck in the small metal cages so long they couldn’t walk. Upon closer inspection, all of the chickens had been maimed and were unable to walk or fly.

She leaned down and whispered in the nearest chicken’s ears. “Sorry, my friend, but I need to put you out of your misery now.”

Fluttershy spent the entire night in her hotel room, watching the Animal Farm burn. She had left half the staff locked in pig cages as it burned, and had ordered the rest into the meat grinders. Fluttershy had a ridiculous grin on her face as she basked in the warm glow of justice.

The next day a rainstorm came. The griffins hadn’t bothered to try and save the burning building. It was long gone when the fire team got there. She sat perfectly still as the rain put out the fire. Once it was out, the sun was setting again. Fluttershy got up and went outside.

She picked up a scorched rock from the rubble and put it in her saddlebag before flying off towards Ponyville to prepare. Dash would be fine at the stunt show without her.

After all, Fluttershy had more animals to save.

26. An Unfortunate Swap :: E/Sa

26. Play God :: M/Da/Gore

{Mature}{Gore}{Dark}{Alternate Universe}

Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. After a thousand years as Nightmare Moon, there are some habits even the Elements couldn’t fix. Now, Celestia must use Luna’s need to play god to her advantage, or risk losing her sister again.

Story prompt/Requested by:Selbi

Inspired by Deathstar’s song Play God

Written as part of One-Shot Week

*******************************************

It is well known that all ponies are inherently evil. Were it not for Celestia’s ceaseless efforts to better her citizens dark impulses, the world would plunge into total darkness.

While Celestia and Luna agreed that all ponies had some evil repressed inside them, they disagreed on how to combat that dark nature. Luna believed it best to understand the darkness, and fight it from within. She would excise those wicked tendancies by force from ponies who could not control it. Celestia naively believed only a pure heart and morality could combat that evil. It was her wish to reform such callous, cold-hearted ponies.

Luna had once taken it too far, becoming known as Nightmare Moon. It began with jealousy and envy of the praise given to Celestia daily. What history books don’t record is how it led Luna to commit genocide against species such as the Wendigo or Lamia to protect Equestria. They also don’t mention how she completely eliminated crime by making the punishment for all crimes a night in Luna’s torture chamber.

Celestia hadn’t approved of Luna’s heavy hoof back then, and a thousand years later Luna hadn’t changed. However, Celestia now had the wisdom to provide her sister an outlet. Without darkness, there could be no light, and for Celestia to be the beacon of hope for her ponies, she must let Luna be the abyss of darkness.

Luna walked down into the dungeon where the suspected mastermind of the drug cartel from Manehatten was being kept. Local police had never accumulated enough evidence to arrest him and charge him for his crimes.

One night, while Celestia slumbered, Luna upheld her half of the unspoken agreement. She had whisked the stallion away from the bed he shared with his trophy wife, and deposited him in the dungeon. He had been poorly fed, dehydrated, and not allowed sleep per Luna’s orders.

She approached the thick wooden door to his cell. The two guards saluted, and then left. They were replaced by two bat-winged ponies, known as Sarosians. Luna only trusted her own guard for matters such as this.

Inside the cell, a mustard brown pegasus was curled up in the corner. His brown hair was matted and had rat feces in it. The cold, damp cell had given him a wheezing cough. The only source of light or warmth was a torch on the wall, just beyond the reach of his shackles.

The torch went out as Luna opened the cell door. She extended her magic until there was not a single trace of light within a hundred feet of her body. Luna walked through the door and opened her eyes. They glowed midnight blue like her mane.

The stallion looked up and saw two eyes, a set of feral teeth, and a sparkling mane and tail. He could not make out any other features. He held his hoof up in front of his face, but could not see it.

“Alexander, what a lovely name,” Luna said in a deep voice. She growled lightly and the room reverberated with its echo.

“P-please, I d-don’t know w-what you w-want but I’ll p-pay it!” he muttered.

“I don’t want your money.” A glowing white smile formed, framing two sharp canines in Luna’s mouth. “I want to save your soul, to draw the darkness out of you. If you ever want to see your family again, you will obey. Otherwise, you shall wake up in Tartarus.”

The stallion mumbled a few words and wet himself. He shivered and whimpered until Luna spoke again.

“The penalty for running a drug cartel is no less than life in prison. I could easily execute you for all the lives your heroin has cut short, and nopony would ever know. Your wife, Lily, and your two children would grow up without a father.”

“I didn’t do anything! Please, I’m innocent!” he said.

“Do not dare lie to me! Either admit your guilt and beg forgiveness, or die.”

The stallion was too scared to do anything, so Luna brought in her first witness.

The torch lit itself casting a dim light onto a light pink pegasus mare. She had been locked into a guillotine, and Luna’s guard removed her gag.

“H-honey? What’s going on Alex!” Lily pleaded.

“No! Please, we d-didn’t do anything wrong!” Alex said.

“Lie to me again and it will cost Lily her head. A second lie will cost your daughter Gale hers,” Luna said.

“Please! Celestia w-would never approve of this! I’m innocent!”

A metallic shriek filled the air as the blade slid down the wooden groves of the guillotine. There was a loud thud as the weighted blade reached the bottom and halted. A second softer thud sounded as Lily’s head hit the floor, and her eyes continued to blink and look at her husband for several moments.

“No!” Alexander screamed. He threw himself against his shackles in his rage, trying to lash out at Luna.

She began laughing as the torchlight faded again. “Who in your cartel do you fear so much that you would sacrifice your wife? I want the names of every member in the cartel while you still have a tongue to speak with.”

Luna advanced upon him, and he scurried back into his corner and screamed. “No, please, t-they’ll kill the kids if I talk, and you’ll kill t-them if I don’t! Oh Celestia! Help!”

“Where is your god now? That’s right, I am your god. I decide who lives and dies, and I know your every fear. You have been a wicked pony, and if you will not reform by choice I shall do it by force.”

Alexander’s eyes went wide in terror as Luna’s horn glowed, and several spiders two feet across crawled out of the shadows. In the darkness he could see their beady glowing eyes, and could faintly trace their forms.

He heard them scurry towards him in the dark, barely illuminated by Luna’s mane. He could feel them crawling over his skin, their bristly hairs poking him. Alex screamed as one bit his flank, and a fiery pain began to spread down his legs. Another had begun to cover his wings in a silky web, pinning him to the floor.

“If you wish to speak I suggest you hurry, my friends here are quite hungry,” Luna said.

“A-alright! I’ll tell you! The ring is run by Black Rose! His lieutenants are. . .”

Luna listened intently as he confessed everything to her. He gave the names of as many cartel members as he could remember, and the locations of where they cut the drugs. Alex gave her more than she had hoped for.

The spiders finally vanished, leaving him pinned in the corner as an agonizing fire spread through his blood.

“A wise choice, My Little Pony, for you have earned my mercy and that is a gift most rare,” Luna said.

She reached down and touched Alex’s chest. He screamed in terror as her horn and hoof began to glow. Luna then pushed her hoof down, puncturing his ribs, and freezing his heart. She withdrew her hoof and attached to it was a long strand of darkness. It vanished into Luna’s hoof as Alex passed out from the pain.

Luna lit the torch and headed for the exit, closing the door behind her, and Celestia’s guards resumed their post once she had left the dungeon. It had taken her longer than she thought to get the confession, so Luna ran into Celestia. It was in the hallway outside their bed chambers as Luna preapred to sleep and her sister prepared to raise the sun.

“How did it go, sister?” Celestia asked.

Luna stopped in the hallway and gave a cheerful smile. “Wonderful, sister. I got the information I needed, and our guest should awake from his nightmare soon.”

“That’s. . . useful news, I am pleased something good came of your visit.”

“Don’t be so gloomy, Tia, I was able to redeem this pony. It is not often I show mercy, so this is clearly going to be a most wonderful day,” Luna said sarcastically.

Celestia nodded and continued on to the throne room. Meanwhile, Luna went to bed.

A few days later and preparations for the wedding of Cadance and Shining had been completed. Luna was called to Celestia’s chambers to discuss the recent changeling threat. She walked into her sister’s bedroom and saw her looking out the window at the shield around Canterlot.

“Good morning, Tia, I trust you have need of my services in regards to the changelings?” Luna asked.

“Yes. While the wedding proceeds as planned, I want you to head to the frozen wastes and find the changeling hive. Wipe it out. Leave them nothing to flee to. Twilight and I will surely be able to handle anything they throw at Canterlot while you do,” Celestia said.

“My, my,” Luna stated. “It is not often you so directly ask me to get my hooves dirty. It’s almost. . . anticlimactic. You need not worry for I know the darkness, and if anypony can find their hive, it is me.”

“Then go, but make it quick. Your absence at the wedding will surely be noticed.”

Luna grinned and fired up her horn. With a loud popping sound, she teleported herself to the frozen wastes in the north.

She stood in the middle of nowhere. There had once been an entire empire of Crystal ponies here in the north. Now all that remained were a dozen scattered settlements of ponies. Luna began to fly to the east to survey the land.

The first couple of villages were normal, if not gloomy. It made Luna happy to see ponies who understood hardship. It was the resilient ones who knew the value of a warm meal or a pair of new boots that were the backbone of her country.

Luna immediately knew something was off in the next village. The flow of magic felt tainted, and there was a foul odor in the air. She flew down to the village and saw ponies trudging through the snow.

They looked like zombies, mindlessly walking from one building to another. There were neither fillies nor laughter of any kind. Nopony made eye contact, and that was when Luna saw him. One pony looked different from the rest. He looked well fed, unlike the skin and bone villagers. His coat of fur had a vibrant shine, and his cutie mark was a sunflower.

Nopony in the frozen north would have a flower cutie mark. Luna focused her magic on him, tearing through his magic with ease. A second later, a black changeling was examining himself to find the source of his difficulties. By the time the changeling looked up, he saw a fearsome alicorn turn jet black and step in front of him.

“Boo,” Luna whispered.

He squealed and turned to flee. Before his hooves had left the ground Luna had snapped his neck, instantly killing him.

Several other ponies broke from their positions around town. There were about a dozen changelings standing guard as every hopeful emotion of the townsponies was feasted upon. Luna reached out with her magic and began to identify the intruders.

Two of the beasts tried to attack Luna. Their pitiful spells barely tickled her hide. Another changeling, likely one who had fought an alicorn before, tried to bite Luna. A changeling’s venomous fangs were one of few things that could harm an alicorn.

Luna formed a starry blade from her mane, turning her hair into an obsidian glass harder than diamond. She sliced through the changeling trying to bite her. She then wielded the sword with her levitation, and killed the two changelings that had shot at her.

As the rest fled for their lives, she reached out with her magic one by one and snapped their necks.

The village was completely silent. Luna scanned the nearest ponies to see how long they had been fed on. These ponies had been fed on for at least a year. They had lost their minds to insanity, and become shambling husks. Their life now consisted of being trapped in their own minds, as they trotted through snow with frost bitten hooves.

Luna knew what she had to do.

She called upon the power of the night sky, striking down at the town with it. When she was finished black smoke blotted out the sky. The snowy ground was now scorched black sand, and nothing else remained.

The changeling hive was hidden a few miles north of the town in the mountains. It had not been nearly as hard to find as Luna thought, leaving her disappointed. At this rate, she would make it back in time for the wedding and be subjected to a cheerful and boring celebration of love.

Luna walked into the cave, collapsing the entrance behind her with her magic. She began to suck the light out of the air that was being cast by green crystals embedded in the rock. As a midnight blue silhouette, she marched directly to the heart of the hive.

Along the way, she left only scorched earth. Every sentry and maturation chamber, was incinerated. After reaching the throne room she was surprised to see it filled with limping changelings and Chrysalis herself.

“You are the last pony I ever expected to see,” Luna said. “I take it your little invasion didn’t go well?”

“Nightmare Moon,” Chrysalis spat.

“Close, but I control that side of me now. The bad news for you is that you should have stayed in Canterlot.”

“Your beloved niece Cadance expelled us from Canterlot not two hours ago. She scattered my brood across Equestria. I was lucky to land back near our hive. Were I not weakened I would feast on your soul and head back for revenge.”

Luna chuckled. “Lucky for me then. Once I kill you and finish wiping out your hive, the rest of your swarm will die off one by one.”

Chrysalis shook her head. “Why? You used to understand our species, you even took pity on us and let us serve you in the Nightmare War. Now you would commit genocide yet again?”

“I don’t know if I’ll commit genocide.” She walked through the dark room towards the queen of the changelings. Luna whispered in her ear, “but I’ll try my best.”

“Killing me won’t redeem you. You will forever be Nightmare Mo—”

Chrysalis gasped as a blade was run across her throat, and she fell to the floor limp.

Luna’s horn and eyes glowed as she began to incinerate the rest of the changelings in the main chamber. Once she had finished, she teleported herself outside to the front of the hive.

As she stood in front of the decimated hive, Luna pondered what her sister would have done. Celestia did not like to play god, despite having powers that clearly made them deities by any definition. Ruling Equestria had always been a game for two, so Luna played god and hoped her sister would too.

27. It's a Boy! :: T/Co

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

28. Congratulations! It's a Reptile! :: T/Co

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

29. Sweetie Belle's Short Fuse :: T/Da/G

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

1. Mane 6 Swap Bodies :: E/Co

{comedy}{everyone}

Twilight rolled over in bed and immediately wished she hadn't. The sun was up now and her head ached from the party the night before. Her throat was dry and she made a mental checklist of why she would never drink again, starting with hangovers and working her way down the mental list. She was just glad Spike hadn't disturbed her while she slept, in fact he had probably brought some water and medicine to her nightstand. The one benefit of having an underage assistant was always having somepony to take care of you the next morning.

Not quite ready to move again, Twilight thought back to her birthday party with Pinkie Pie and her friends, who all promised to make it a night she would never forget. There had been rum cake, jello shots, tequila and liquors. If she never saw a bottle of tequila again in her life it would be too soon.

With a sigh, she took a deep breath and opened her eyes, squinting against the light. The room was a lot cleaner then usual, and Applejack had left her stetson on her nightstand. Plenty of sunlight was pouring through the window, when the thought occurred to Twilight that the window should be on the other side of the room. Sitting up and fighting back a wave of nausea, she saw that she was in Applejack's house. How had she gotten here? She hadn't... Twilight looked around hoping her and Applejack hadn't done anything silly while they were drunk. With Applejack no where in sight her sudden panic seemed quite silly to her. She decided to head downstairs and see if AJ had made them some breakfast.

Twilight rolled out of bed and stood up on the floor, and reached out with her magic to fix the bed. The sheets laid there and refused to move, staying in a scrunched up ball at the end of the bed. Twilight tried again, and again nothing happened. Maybe she had taken a bump to the head, she lifted a hoof to check her horn and several things dawned on her at once.

Her horn was gone, her leg was orange, and as she fell onto her rump in horror locks of blonde hair fell down into her eyes. She wasn't just in Applejack's house, she was Applejack! How could this happen? Was it something she ate? Maybe a mix up of some spells? Twilight's brain raced through dozens of scenarios but nothing explained this. She examined all 4 of her legs and her tail, her cutie mark and her hooves. She was definitely Applejack, she had to get back to the Library as soon as possible! Summoning up her magic she tried to teleport to the library, only to slap a hoof to her face when she remembered she was no longer a unicorn.

Twilight ran over to the door, colliding with it, and then grabbing the handle with her mouth and throwing the door open. She dashed across the hallway ignoring the aches of protest in her head, then carefully walked down the stairs. When she reached the bottom she saw Big Mac and Applebloom enjoying breakfast.

"Hey Applejack, ah never seen you wake up so late, y'all alright sis?" Applebloom hopped out of the chair and trotted over to her big sister. Twilight didn't know how to explain this to anypony so she smiled and bluffed "I'm fine Applebloom, I'm just going to head out and... buck some trees!"

Applebloom looked at her puzzled and asked "Why don't ya have your stetson? And what's with your funny accent?"

Twilight looked over to Big Mac for help but he had an impenetrable poker face. She then glanced back down at Applebloom and lied "I ... ah musta had too much ta drink last night sis, I'll go get my hat 'n get to work." Twilight trotted upstairs and grabbed the hat, then headed out to find the real Applejack before she burnt down her library and all the precious books in it.

Applebloom hopped back onto the stool next to Big Mac who said "You girls get weirder every day." Applebloom grinned back and said "Eeyup."

~*~

Applejack could hold her liquor, and the way she felt right now must be a testament to how drunk she'd been last night. The party always was worth a little headache, but this felt like something else entirely. As she lay in bed she almost felt like she was floating on a cloud, and she felt a little woozy as if there was still some alcohol in her system. She reached over for her stetson to block out the sunlight until she felt up to facing the day. Big Mac had seen her hungover before, he'd start the chores without her and then make a few jokes at her expense later.

Applejack's hoof reached for the stetson and swooshed through a cloud. She tried again, and again she hit nothing but air and some condensation. Opening her eyes she rolled to face the disobedient stetson, only to see a wall of clouds. There must be a terrible fog unless Rainbow had somehow carried her up to her house. And if she was in Rainbow's house then Twilight would have had to cast a cloud walking spell... no something wasn't right here.

Applejack rolled out of bed and stretched her wings, and it felt amazing. It was like those first steps off a train when your wings hadn't moved for hours, each muscle tensing and each feather separating, the wind blowing between them. Applejack took a moment to realize what was wrong with this picture. She glanced back to see a large blue wing on her right side and a rainbow colored tail. She glanced left and was met by another wing and some knotted hair on her mane.

Applejack walked over to a nearby mirror and her fears were confirmed. In the mirror stood Rainbow Dash, magenta blood shot eyes, cyan coat, disheveled prismatic mane, and cutie mark. She recalled a game of truth or dare last night, but Twilight wouldn't possibly use her magic for this! And if she was here, Rainbow Dash must be at Sweet Apple Acres! That prankster was probably doing horrible things to tease the Apple family.

"Come here Big Mac, I just want to put Granny's girdle on you and tickle you a little!" Applejack shook the thought from her head. That no good prankster and Twilight were going to get an earful. The only problem was, Applejack had no idea how to fly and she walked over to the balcony. It looked hundreds of feet to the ground. Applejack went back inside and tried slapping her wings around against the air but to no avail. She tried angling them different ways until she could finally start to hover. It seemed like she had a bit of instinct left in the wings, she could almost feel when she was flapping against the wind properly.

Heading back over to the balcony she prepared to fly down and get to the bottom of this. As she stood and stared at the ground below she had only one thing to say: "GERONIMO!"

~*~

Fluttershy hadn't drank much at the party last night and still had a fairly clear recollection of it. There had been rum cake and all sorts of mixed drinks. Twilight was turning 21 and Pinkie Pie insisted on making it a night the introverted little librarian would never forget. There would be drinks, partying, cake, and reckless abandon! Fluttershy smiled, recalling what a happy drunk Twilight was. All her cares melted away and she began to talk about all the wonderful little secrets Shining Armor and Celestia had confided in her. Luckily none of them involved a Pinkie promise, or Twilight would have probably woken up as a cupcake.

Fluttershy yawned and stretched out her legs. Her bed always seemed a little more comfortable on warm sunny days like this. She even had one of the cats decide to come lay on the bed next to her. Fluttershy rolled over and spoke to the cat using her special talent "Hey there, good morning!" Fluttershy opened her eyes just in time to see Opalescence hiss and jump off the bed upset.

That was strange, she didn't remember bringing her back to her home. She looked around and noticed she was in Rarity's room. It all made sense now, the cottage was so far away that Rarity must have let Fluttershy sleep at the boutique. She was such a generous friend, Fluttershy would have to do something extra kind to repay her. The mare got out of bed to go check on Rarity, who was probably in the guest room. After passing by the mirror she saw Rarity, and turned around "Good morning Rarity!" Fluttershy whispered.

Confused, Fluttershy looked around, she had seen Rarity in the mirror but she was no longer in the room. She walked back by the mirror and saw Rarity again.

"eep!" Fluttershy quietly shouted.

As she looked in the mirror it wasn't Fluttershy that looked back at her, it was Rarity. She remembered a few drunken spells last night, mostly parlor tricks and seeing who could levitate the most books while intoxicated. What ever happened she should hurry over to see Twilight and fix it. The first thing she wanted to do though, was try and levitate some of the brushes on Rarity's nightstand. She had always wondered what magic felt like.

~*~

Rarity had a horrible headache, a proper lady wouldn't have drank so much. A proper lady also wouldn't have had nearly as much fun at Twilight's birthday party. It isn't every day you get to throw a party for somepony turning 21, and it was tradition to get them as drunk as possible. It was a silly rite of passage, but Rarity was generous and agreed to partake of it with her best friends.

There was a loud thumping sound on wood that was aggravating her headache. "Come on wake up already! I want breakfast, and none of that salad stuff! COME ON!" the voice shouted.

"Ugh Sweetie Bell if you don't pipe down this instant I'll feed you a whole barrel of lettuce!" Rarity snapped at her.

The thumping stopped abruptly "Um... what? My name's Angel, are you feeling ok? I knew I should have gone with you to keep you from drinking too much." Angel sighed and grabbed a nearby glass of water he had prepared for just this occasion. He threw it on the sleeping pegasus eliciting a loud scream.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING! MY HAIR!" Rarity screamed. She opened up her eyes to find herself in Fluttershy's cottage with several confused animals now watching her.

"My, I've never heard you scream so loud Fluttershy. I bet Rainbow Dash would love it if you could cheer like that for her next time she is doing stunts!" Angel had seen many different sides of Fluttershy: Doormat, bully, babysitter of the god of chaos. To him this was just another day in the freaky world that was Fluttershy.

Rarity just sat there in stunned silence as several animals chattered to each other, she then interrupted them "Why are you all talking? Why can I understand you?" Rarity watched as every eye in the room locked onto her gaze.

"Angel I don't think that's Fluttershy" a beaver stated. "Quick grab the changeling!" a sparrow squeaked. "Go for the throat!" a mouse yelled as he lept into her hair. "Sweep the legs!" a platypus shouted.

"AAAAHHH!!!" Rarity flapped her wings hard, throwing every animal back with the covers. She found herself gripping a wooden beam near the ceiling, and upon taking a look around at the disaster below noticed long flowing pink hair. She followed it up to the yellow wings, and pink butterfly cutie mark. "I'm.... Fluttershy?"

"So, if your not Fluttershy what are you? Are you one of those aliens that Lyra always talks about? She says they are constantly possessing ponies and parading around town, pretending to be one of us..." Angel scratched his head trying to remember what those pesky aliens were called.

"No, I'm Rarity! I was at the party and-- TWILIGHT!!!" Rarity let go of the beam and fell back onto the bed, bouncing up and landing on the ground with a look of sheer determination and fury. Only her and Twilight could use magic, and she wouldn't dare let somepony else parade around in her body. No, this had to be Twilight's doing. It was either a prank or another one of her miscast spells. With all the alcohol she had pumped into that poor unicorn last night she believed it was the latter.

"Hop on Angel, we have a unicorn to find!" Rarity felt the bunny dig his paws into her mane, and she took off running down the stairs.

The sparrow looked over to the beaver "Hey, looks like we got free reign in the kitchen today! Mind using those paws to get us all some food?"

~*~

Rainbow Dash lay in bed having a dream about being captain of the Wonderbolts. She always had her best dreams when sleeping in, the sun never bothered her. The one thing that did bother her though was when she got into drinking contests with Applejack. Rainbow always knew when she had a drinking contest because she never loses. Never. That also meant that on many a morning, Dash had woken up with a hangover that hit her like 2 tons of bricks. As long as she never lost to AJ, the hangover was worth it.

Today was different though, either there had been no drinking contest (Ha! Unlikely) Or Dash had lost the contest. She barely felt hungover at all, and she didn't have a horrible taste in her mouth. In fact, she could taste some vanilla frosting, and not the cheap stuff. No this was the nice creamy frosting, she licked her teeth to savor the flavor and got a few sprinkles as a reward. As far as waking up hungover goes, this was awesome! She could even feel a surge of energy as she opened her groggy eyes and stretched.

Best hangover ever!

Dash rolled out of bed smiling and looked around at the orange walls. She must have crashed at somepony else's house since Dash never drank and flew. Looking around she knew there was only 1 pony she could have slept over with: Pinkie Pie. There were fresh cupcakes on the night stand, and a green little toothless alligator. Dash smiled and the alligator smiled back.

All she needed to do now was her morning warm-up stretches and she could hover downstairs and find Pinkie Pie. One does not simply walk downstairs when your as awesome as me! Rainbow smirked as she thought. She tried to stretch out her wings and separate her feathers, but nothing happened. Her wings probably just fell asleep since she wasn't used to sleeping on earth pony beds.

Rainbow walked over to the mirror to see if her numb wings were moving at all. When she looked in the mirror her jaw fell down and she mumbled "Pinkie?" The pink party pony stood and stared into that mirror for what felt like hours. She had been around Ponyville enough to know that sometimes "Pinkie would be Pinkie" and there was no explaining it. This was a whole new level of Pinkie. This wasn't Pinkie sense; this was Pinkie magic!

Rainbow felt her tail start to twitch, and a second later Gummy landed on her mane and latched on. "Not now squirt" Rainbow muttered and try to shake him off. The doppelganger in front of her mirrored her perfectly. "I'm Pinkie Pie! MY WINGS!!!"

Rainbow panicked and hopped around the room madly, she had to get out of here! She had to get to her cloud house and get her wings back! Without thinking she had bucked the window open and jumped onto the roof. The breeze felt great in her mane as she stretched her wings.... that's right I don't have wings.

Rainbow bounced back inside only to have the door fly open as Mr. Cake barged in. "Pinkamena Diane Pie! What did we tell you about making this kind of racket when the babies are sleeping! You woke the whole house up!" Rainbow had never seen Mr. Cake angry. He always seemed so nice, especially to Pinkie. Rainbow looked back at the shattered window, the mirror that she had knocked over, and the cupcake smudged footprints in the freshly destroyed room. Oh, that's why he is mad

Rainbow could feel her mane and tail fall flat against her body, losing all their curl in one instant. "I'm sorry Mr. Cake, but there's been some horrible mistake, I'm Rainbow Dash!" Rainbow was on the verge of tears and wasn't quite sure why. She felt like a balloon that had deflated and landed behind a couch where nopony would get to see her anymore.

"No more games Pinkie--Please just clean up the room. You can make this up to us by foalsitting Pound and Pumpkin while we go grocery shopping." Mr Cake turned and walked downstairs.

Rainbow Dash stood up and felt her hair curling back up. If anypony could fix this it'd be Twilight Sparkle, or the Princess! If she got to the library quickly she could get everything back to normal.

~*~

Pinkie Pie rose bright and early, and reached for her emergency morning cupcakes. There was no easy way to get out of bed in the morning, except for cupcakes!

Pinkie's vision was blurry but clearing rapidly as she swiped her hooves around looking for the cupcakes. They were nowhere to be found, so she reached for the emergency morning cupcake backup stash behind her pillow. It wasn't there either, and Pinkie began to panic. She always had cupcakes nearby for everypony, and now they were all gone! She must have gotten the munchies and eaten them all at night.

Pinkie was very sad and wished she had a triple chocolate cupcake with sprinkles. She felt a strange tingling and a cupcake materialized in thin air. "WHOOPEEE!!!!!" Pinkie shouted and bounced on the bed, greedily eating the hovering cupcake. "Let's try that again!"

~*~

Spike was grilling some eggs and extra greasy hay fries. Twilight would be up soon, and if there was one thing Spike had learned from being around the ponies it was that wild parties led to wild hangovers. Spike was always the friendly sober dragon at the party, and for each time he had gotten to walk Rarity back to her boutique it was worth it. This had been the first party where Twilight was old enough to drink, and Applejack had given Spike some home remedies for a hangover. Apparently all you needed was lots of greasy food, a few glasses of water, and some "hair of the dog." Spike didn't have a dog so he had used a couple of Owlowicious' feathers instead.

Spike was setting everything onto plates for Twilight when he heard an awful racket upstairs. It sounded like something had fallen off the bed and started bouncing off the walls. He could hear the distinct popping of magic, and got concerned. He stepped out into the hallway and dropped the plate of hayfries and eggs to the ground.

Up on the 2nd floor of the library were hundreds of cupcakes, and in the middle of them Twilight was eating a giant pink cupcake like a starving timberwolf. Spike had seen it all now, but it didn't prepare him for what came next...

~*~

"Spike! I'm so glad you're up! I wished for a cupcake and I got one, so I wished for more and more and more! And then I wished they were even yummier! And bigger! And with more Sugar! Come try them Spike!" Pinkie wished that spike was up stairs with them, and this time had to concentrate hard and close her eyes. Spike materialized over the big cupcake and landed with a plop.

"Twilight what's gotten into you? Your acting like Pinkie Pie!" Spike looked at her in horror as she hugged him and shouted "I AM PINKIE PIE!"

"Oh I know your sad because these are all cupcakes and cupcakes don't have gems, except the one time we made you a sapphire cupcake, and your a dragon so you would rather have gemcakes! haha get it, gemcakes! Here you go!" Pinkie Pie wished for a 4 foot tall ruby, emerald, sapphire, turqoise, topaz, and diamond cupcake and it materialized in the middle of the library.

Spike's eyes went wide and a tear rolled down his cheek. "For me?" Spike glanced back to Twilight, barely holding back the manly tears. Twilight would never let him eat so much junk food in the morning. Maybe she was telling the truth, and if this was Pinkie Pie then that meant the real Twilight could be back any second. Without a second thought he dove down into the cupcake and ate as fast as he could.

~*~

Twilight was finally approaching the library and was very glad she had brought the stetson. It was very bright outside and it offered her shelter from the bright harsh world. She rounded the corner to the library and froze in absolute terror.

Pouring out of the upstairs balcony were cupcakes of every kind and size imaginable. Blaring over a stereo she didn't know she had was Pinkie's Favorite Jam. On the ground floor were more balloons then she had ever seen in her life, threatening to burst out of the windows at any moment.

Before she knew what was happening she was running full speed towards the library door, Pinkie had destroyed her library! She spun around on her forehooves, bringing up her back legs and bucking the door. With a resounding crash, the door splintered and flew across the library in pieces.

In the center of the library was a fat and happy purple dragon surrounded by crumbs and gems, groaning at what must be the mother of all stomach aches. Floating in the air was the party pony herself, slinging confetti in every direction.

"PINKIE!!!" Twilight shouted at her "STOP ABUSING MY MAGIC AT ONCE!!!.

Pinkie dropped to the ground "Oh hi Applejack! I was just having some cupcakes and thinking how awesome it is to be Twilight! Are you here because you're worried about Twilight? She's probably still at Sugar Cube Corner sleeping in."

Twilight advanced at her and took off the stetson "Pinkie, I AM TWILIGHT. I woke up in Applejack's body this morning and I demand to know what is going on!" If you could kill somepony with a stare, Pinkie would have fallen over dead right there.

Pinkie frowned in the lavender mare's body, her hair seeming to become even flatter and straighter. "Oh I'm sorry Twilight, I was having so much fun after Rainbow Dash dared you to teleport us all home drunk last night. Spike said it was a bad idea but you said it would be ok. I thought you wanted us to trade bodies for some fun." Pinkie was poking her hoof in the ground and looked deep in thought.

"It's ok Pinkie, I shouldn't have drank so much... I shouldn't have tried magic. Now we just need to think of a way--" Twilight was interrupted as a pink bolt flew past her.

~*~

Rainbow Dash had to admit that Pinkie was fast, she could see now why it was so hard to outrun her. As Dash ran in the pink mare's body time almost seemed to slow down. She darted and weaved through empty vendor stalls, leapt over and ducked under obstacles. Dash couldn't stand the thought of not having wings, but with the natural speed and intuition of Pinkie Pie she might be able to break the sound barrier without wings.

Dash saw the target ahead: A large hollow tree with cupcakes, balloons, and blaring party music. She didn't even slow down as her stomach rumbled and demanded sugar. She flew through the open door and dove into the cupcakes, her mouth opening to comically large proportions as it greedily inhaled all the cupcakes.

From behind Dash heard the familiar voice of Twilight Sparkle "Hey those are my cupcakes!"

Dash turned around locking eyes with his prankster. "YOU! Twilight how could you switch me and Pinkie's bodies, I demand you switch us back at once! She probably fell out of my cloud house or something horrible and do you have any idea what it's like to not have wings!"

Applejack was the one to answer "Rainbow Dash I would if I could, but somehow Pinkie is me and I'm Applejack."

Rainbow Dash looked confused beyond measure, and then just face hoofed. "Ugh Twilight, I'm just going to eat some more cupcakes while you figure out all the egghead stuff." Rainbow turned around and had to admit, now that she was in Pinkie's body the cupcakes tasted at least 20% better.

~*~

Rarity had finally reached the library. She had started galloping, and soon began beating her wings in rhythm with the hooves. The next thing she knew she was flying low and fast, which was nice since Fluttershy didn't seem to exercise much and her legs were sore.

Rarity hovered around to the entrance of the house and landed at the front door. She looked inside to see Spike passed out in a pile of crumbs, Pinkie gorging herself on cupcakes, and Twilight and Applejack feeling each other's face with their hooves.

Rarity nearly rolled over on Angel as she hit the ground in a fit of laughter that not even Rainbow Dash could match. For a minute, she forgot all about their predicament.

~*~

Fluttershy continued to gallop towards the library. After she had tried to play with her unicorn powers in Rarity's shop things had gotten.... interesting.

At first, she couldn't seem to "feel" the hairbrush with her powers. She concentrated as hard as she could, and suddenly the brush flew across the room shattering the mirror. With an "eep!" Startled, Fluttershy leapt back into the wall causing another bolt of magic to fly out. It hit Rarity's wardrobe scattering clothes everywhere, and things only went downhill from there...

Fluttershy was mortified and couldn't imagine how she could be kind enough to repay Rarity for her boutique. By the time she had made it to the front door, hurricane Fluttershy had torn the boutique to shreds. Maybe if she got Twilight to give her body back, she could move in with Rainbow Dash until Rarity calmed down.

Finally in range of the library, Fluttershy could see Rarity in her body in a fit of severe laughter. She got to the door and cried out "Oh Angel, I'm so glad to see you!" Angel just gave her a confused look until it clicked with him. This mare he couldn't understand must be the real Fluttershy. Angel leapt onto Fluttershy's foreleg and hugged her leg as hard as he could.

~*~

"Oh thank Celestia it's the real Fluttershy!" Angel wept into her fur. "I'll never play another mean prank on her as long as I live Celestia, just get that lunatic Rarity out of her body!"

~*~

What had seemed like a good idea to Applejack at the time had quickly gone sideways. Confident in her ability to control Rainbow Dash's body, Applejack decided to fly to the library. After about 5 seconds she was falling with style, after 10 seconds she was in full on panic mode.

Each time she felt she wasn't beating her wings hard enough, she'd give them a down stroke with all her might. This would shoot her up 50 feet in the air, the end result was gaining altitude instead of losing it as she intended. Applejack had to hand it to her, Dash's body was athletic and powerful. After she had gained some more altitude she spotted the library, a faint colorful dot on the west side of Ponyville.

Deciding that gliding would go over a whole lot better then flapping, Applejack angled towards the library and started to glide. It was quite peaceful at first, the wind in her hair, the adrenaline, and the speed. Applejack was in heaven, until she realized just how fast she was going. The wind was tugging at her lips and eyelids, and she realized that she had never considered how to slow down.

The ground was coming up faster and faster and Applejack did the first thing she could think of, she started flapping and trying to gain altitude. She was going too fast though, and the air felt differently. She could feel a cone of air compressed around her as she neared the library, and she stretched her hooves as far in front of her as she could to break the fall. Celestia have mercy on me...

~*~

"Ok, so we have Twinkie, Dashiepie, Flutterarity, Raritshy, and me Twilijack... that just leaves Appledash unaccounted for..." Twilight looked around at everypony.

"Um... Twilight your just confusing us more, I think you made half those up anyway.... um I mean, if it's ok could you just call us by our real names?" Fluttershy-in-Rarity's body asked.

"UGH! Cesltia's sparkly mane this is giving me such a headache!" Twilight stomped a hoof on the ground, putting a large dent in it thanks to Applejack's strength.

Twilight was trying to think of a plan when she suddenly heard a loud boom incredibly close to the house. Not half a second latter, a rainbow blur flew threw a window and landed in the sea of balloon animals Pinkie had made using Twilight's body.

Despite Applejack crashing in her body, Rainbow Dash burst out in laughter.  She couldn't help but glance over at the 4th wall of the library and say "Can you guys believe that! I bet the poor author doesn't even know who anypony is anymore!" And resumed her hysterical laughing.

Twilight spoke up to everypony "Can I have everypony's attention please?" All the ponies looked over at her, some dazed, some hungover, and others just laughing at the madness.

"Ok, Pinkie Pie you seem to have a good grasp of my magic considering you've had exactly 4 hours in my body. What I want you to do, is use what ever bit of 'Pinkie' is still in you to use my magic and fix all this. Wish us to normal, tap your hooves together 3 times... just what ever! I'm counting on you to fix this!

Spike still lay passed out in his gem laden cupcake, but the other ponies gathered around Pinkie Pie as she lit up Twilight's horn.

"Ok everypony" Pinkie whispered as the magic radiated out from her horn. I wish everything was back to normal, and that the cupcakes get to stay. I wish everything was back...

Pinkie continued her chant as everypony looked at her, eyes large and full of hope. This had to work, and once it did nopony would let Twilight near alcohol again.

~*~

Lyra woke up and yawned. She hadn't remembered taking a nap, nor visiting the library. She sat up and saw the elements of harmony happily chatting with each other.

"Oh thank you Twilight!" Rainbow Dash said. "You don't know how happy I am to have my wings back!"

"Ah reckon' ah owe you thanks, but next time ya'll are drinking that much ain't nopony gonna get near ya Sugarcube." Applejack crossed the room and got her stetson.

Lyra wasn't sure what was going on, everypony seemed to be normal but they were talking like they all just had out of body experiences. She looked down to see why her stomach ached so badly. She saw green scales on her underbelly and purple flanks. With a panic she brought her hands up to examine them. "I HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS!" Lyra gleefully shouted; She had always wanted hands.

"Uh... Spike are you feeling ok? You've always had thumbs. Why don't you clean up this mess while I think up a punishment for gorging on so much dessert" Twilight ordered.

Lyra looked confused before remembering she was in Spike's body. She was so excited to have hands she decided to play it cool. The longer it took Twilight to figure out she was Lyra, the longer she would have to experiment with her new appendages.

"Sorry Twilight, I'll clean up right away." Lyra walked away with a large goofy grin on her face.

"At least this day can't get any worse" Twilight said to the others with a smile.

~*~

Celestia woke up after an exhausting night to find a letter from her prized pupil on her nightstand.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Tonight I learned all about alcohol and friendship and that when you put Rainbow Dash's hoof in warm water she pees all over the floor. I also learned that when Pinkie laughs that hard she throws up, and it tastes like cupcakes. Yeah, she vomited all over me but it was so awesome!

I also learned that Rarity always carries "emergency makeup". We drew some uh... 'colt parts' on her face and when she woke up it was a riot. We also got Fluttershy drunk and kept yelling "BOO!" at her and each time it was even funnier. Then we got Applejack and Rainbow Dash into a drinking contest, but we switched all of AJ's out with water! Pretty soon Dash was passed out cold on the floor and we took pictures of her all trussed up like a rodeo pig!

I think I threw up 3... how many times Spike? 5? WOW haha. But each time I throw up I can drink more alcohol so it's all good! We played spin the bottle, dress up, 21 gun salute, beer pong, and now we're going to play truth or dare. By the way did I ever tell you I love you? Like I just wish... we could be more then friends you know? Like me and Luna. Did I ever tell you I think Luna is prettier then you? Yes Spike, keep writing!

'Cuz Luna's mane sparkles and has stars and stuff, and your just all boring and white. And Dash says you must dye your mane 'cuz she is best pony. LOL. Maybe if you were on the moon for a thousand years you'd learn to groom yourself better :-)

No Spike, send it! SPIKE! I SAID SENT IT!

Your drunkest student, Twilight Sparkle

P.S. I am so very sorry Princess Celestia, have mercy on me. -Spike

7. Twilight's Dollhouse :: T/Da

{Dark}{Tragedy}{Teen}

Twilight hurried to clean up her study before her guest arrived. She had planned every last detail so tonight would be perfect. The last thing she needed was to have Spike walk in on her again.

Light tapping sounded from upstairs. She hurried up to meet her guest at the door. With one quick motion, her magic opened the door up.

"Applejack! I'm so glad you could make it," Twilight cheered.

"Thanks, ah reckon ah could use a break after all the weird things happenin' lately." Applejack walked inside and took a look around. "Spike is asleep already?"

"Yeah, he was really tired. Follow me; I have already heated us up some tea." Twilight gestured into the study. The two went in and took seats around a small round table.

"Ah ain't much for tea, but since ya already made it I can try some."

"Thank you, that's all I ask." Twilight levitated her teacup to her mouth and took a sip.

Applejack used her hooves to lift the steamy tea up to her nose. It smelled like flowers and cinnamon, and she took a sip. "Well, ah wouldn't normally agree with Rarity, but ya do make some good tea."

"Thank you, so tell me, how are things on the farm?"

"Awful," Applejack replied. "Ever since ya brought us that letter that Big Mac got drafted, we can barely keep up with the work. Can't imagine why Celestia would re-institute the draft at a time like this."

"I wish there was something I could do to help, maybe I could do something to help you relax."

After another sip of tea, Applejack was already feeling relaxed. "Ah reckon this tea is relaxin' enough. Long as ah got my farm ah don't much care that so many ponies are movin' out of Ponyville."

"I know, it's too bad they discovered dangerous pockets of magic under the ground. Ponyville was growing so fast."

"Whew." Applejack lifted her head back up and rubbed her eyes. "Ah must have worked harder than ah thought today, ah'm already plumb tuckered out."

"Drink some more tea, it'll help. You can even sleep here tonight, with me."

"Thanks, but ah got to keep an eye on Applebloom." She set down her tea and headed for the door. "Got—to get back before ah—fall asleep," she yawned.

"I insist," Twilight ordered. A plank of wood fell in front of the door and a magical lock clicked it into place.

"Wha—Twilight?" Applejack was feeling a bit woozy from standing up.

"There, there, why don't you come sit down and finish your tea?"

"Ah don't want no tea." Applejack followed her over to the table and sat down. It was getting so hard to stand in her current exhausted state. "Ah've got ta get home, Applebloom and Granny will be worried."

"Finish your tea, and I'll walk you home."

"Ah said I don't want you—"

"Finish your tea!" Twilight commanded.

"Twi—Twilight you feelin' alright?" Applejack glanced down at her tea. A sudden thought entered her mind, though it made no sense in her drowsy state. She had gotten tired as soon as she drank the tea. Twilight must have put something in it. With the strength she had left she lifted the cup, making a show of accidently spilling it and dropping the cup.

"Applejack!"

"Sorry—ah'm so tired. Ah'll just finish yours for ya." Applejack yawned and smiled weakly.

"That's ok, I'll make you more." Twilight removed her tea from the table and went into the kitchen.

Uncomfortable at what was going on, Applejack began to crawl towards the door. She had heard stories of ponies being taken advantage of, but surely this was some misunderstanding. The tea, the drowsiness. . . she knew she should not have stayed up so late last night.

Applejack reached the door and tried to undo the lock. She was probably being paranoid, but she'd rather be paranoid while safe at home.

Twilight walked back into the room hovering a new cup of tea for her friend. "Applejack, where do you think you're going?"

"Gotta—get home Twi." Applejack slumped against the door.

"This is your last chance, drink your tea." Twilight hovered it to her lips to help her drink it.

"No," Applejack mumbled. She weakly tried to swat it away. She managed to spill some of it, but Twilight's magic kept a firm grip.

Frustrated, Twilight flung the cup against the wall. "Fine, if you don't want to do this the easy way, we'll do it the hard way. I've only had to use this spell once on a conscious pony and it sounded quite unpleasant."

"What?" Applejack fought to keep her eyelids open and her focus on Twilight. It all felt so wrong that adrenaline had begun to pump through her veins, helping her fight off the drowsiness. "Ya are gonna do what to me?"

"You'll see soon enough. I do hate to make noise, got to be mindful of the neighbors, so why don't we start here?"

Twilight walked over, her horn glowing. Applejack tried to keep the horn away from her, slapping it with her hooves. She pushed her horn against Applejack's throat, silencing her.

"And now, my favorite part." Twilight took a step back and encased Applejack in a purple aura.

Applejack fell flat on the ground and began to squirm. She opened her mouth to scream but no sound came out. She felt her hooves go numb as a new sensation crept over her legs. It felt like hardened plastic, smooth and cold, as it flowed upwards. Slowly her lower legs lost their feeling and the muscles stopped obeying her commands. As the icy plastic continued upward, her hooves felt as if they were on fire. The plastic penetrated deep into her through her pores.

She tried to scream again and again as the plastic advanced. The fire burnt her down to the bone, as it turned her flesh into plastic. Meanwhile, the smooth outer coating replacing her fur had reached the top of her legs. She could no longer stand, even if she wanted too.

Once the plastic began encircling her ribs, the enormity of her situation dawned on her. With her stomach now rigid plastic, and her ribs unable to expand, she fought to draw in air. She hardly noticed the burning sensation spreading into her internal organs as she fought the rigid flesh pinning her lungs closed.

Applejack looked up at Twilight, who was sipping her tea and enjoying the show. She opened her mouth several times, trying to form words to speak to her. She continued to deny it; this must be Discord or Chrysalis. Twilight would never do this to her friend.

She froze in agony as the fire reached her heart. She felt it stop beating, and her mind screamed in terror. She could no longer feel anything below her neck, except the plastic and the burning sensation. Applejack was neither breathing nor circulating blood, and a dreadful calm washed over her head.

This was it. Twilight had murdered her.

Applejack managed a few tears as the plastic crept along her muzzle. It began to pour inside her mouth and nose, followed by that agonizing burning. She forced her eyes to stay open, pouring the last bit of strength into glaring at Twilight.

A second later it was over. The pain had ceased, Applejack was at peace. Yet, she was still aware. She was laying on the floor, unmoving, and still staring at Twilight.

"Well, I may have to do that more often. It was quite fun to watch your reactions," Twilight complimented. "Now, let's fix you up and get you back to the farm."

The farm, Applejack thought. Does she think this is some kind of prank and she can just send me back now? When I get out of here. . .

Twilight's horn began glowing purple, and the world started to expand away from Applejack. Everything was getting bigger, soon it was twice as large, three times as large, and continued to expand. It wasn't until she felt her legs being bent to a standing position that she realized what was happening.

Applejack was now only two inches tall, stuck in the pose of a pony galloping along the road. Her front left hoof was raised in the air, and her back left hoof gingerly touched the ground for balance.

She was a doll.

"Now, let me show you why I invited you over." Twilight levitated Applejack effortless over towards the basement door. "I have a lovely model of Ponyville in here; I think you'll enjoy it."

Twilight turned on the lights and Applejack saw what she was talking about. There was a perfect replica of the town taking up most of the basement.

"Now, here's Sugarcube Corner. You can see Pinkie just inside, she's having so much fun selling everypony cupcakes. I'm afraid she didn't really move back in with her parents on the rock farm," Twilight chuckled.

"Here's Rarity's shop, she's quite lucky. Her and Sweetie will get to spend the rest of their lives together, and look how happy they are!

"Next up Rainbow Dash in her Wonderbolt outfit. She is quite lucky. Had her turn come up sooner she would not have been accepted into the Wonderbolts yet. Imagine my joy to not only find out she passed the tryouts, but to have her come tell me in person right after I drew her number!

"This one. . . This will be Fluttershy's cottage, but it isn't her turn yet. The real reason you are here is right over there, on Sweet Apple Acres."

Twilight levitated Applejack down to be face to face with Big Mac. "I love family reunions. Now, I'm going to leave you and Mac to catch up. We have a big day tomorrow, it's applebuck season!"

Applejack stared into her brother's eyes. She could not move a muscle, she had no choice but to stare straight ahead into his eyes. Is he imprisoned in there also? Everypony, imprisoned by Twilight?

She felt something like a tear roll down her cheek, and saw a tear mirror her own as it slid down Big Mac's muzzle.

The lights flickered out.

11. A Slice Of Haiku :: Fun Concepts.

{Slice of life story

considered comedy too

I'll read it with you}

The sun rose up high

guided by Celestia

waking up Twilight.

Rolling over once

burying her head deeper

she was up all night.

Star swirl the bearded

was an intriguing subject

for late night study.

Was it two or three?

her eyelids sagging so low

admitting defeat.

Her head hit the desk

Bringing the world back to light

it was time for rest.

Admitting defeat

she had climbed into her bed

for a fitful sleep.

Now clinging the quilt

she blocked out the cruel sunlight

to ease her fatigue.

Spike trotted past her

wise not to disturb her rest

he went to get food.

Warmly snuggled up

she could stay here all day long

but she was not Dash.

Fifteen minutes more

half an hour was the worst case

and she would awake.

With one final dream

of a Rainbow Factory

and a yellow shed.

"Wow that was quite weird

I should not eat before bed"

was all Twilight said.

To perturbed to sleep

she decided to get up

and find some coffee.

With a clop of hooves

down twenty-two wooden steps

she reached the ground floor.

Into the kitchen

Twilight trotted and could see

a horrific sight

Spike had forgotten

to go to the marketplace

and buy coffee beans.

Sweet Celestia,

what have I done to deserve

a horrible fate?