Sanctuary

by Kaidan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Spike, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 32670

Twilight was on the road to recovery from her mental illness. She had started a new treatment, bonded with the staff, and had many friends in her ward. Now she wakes up in the center of the delusions she has been trying so hard to escape: Ponyville.

Twilight was on the road to recovery from her mental illness. She had started a new treatment, bonded with the staff, and had many friends in her ward. Now she wakes up in the center of the delusions she has been trying so hard to escape: Ponyville.

Inspired by Asylum by Daemon of Decay
Proofreaders: ArgonMatrix, The11thWonder, Gage, Breath of Plagues
Story and Plot Development Help: Daemon of Decay, AppleCrumble

Enjoyed this story? If you are looking for others set in the 'Asylumverse', support these new authors:
Broadhoof Files: Dr Humors
Broadhoof Files: Corporal Phalanx Spear

Published 2013-02-05 23:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-04 02:20:17 UTC

II. Pathology

Chapter II: Pathology

Twilight lay in the corner trying to recollect today's events. In the hospital, there had only been books to keep her company. That knowledge should prove useful now, if she looked at her situation logically. She had read that hallucinations were visual or auditory, so they were ruled out. Being able to touch, smell, and even be injured, meant it could not be a dream. The doctors had often told her that she had delusions, that her brain was causing her to believe something that wasn't real. Twilight would have been happy with this, but a new possibility had presented itself. Her memories of a life lived in a hospital seemed more like a dream now than a reality. Could Spike have been telling the truth, and this was just some unknown illness?

Crawling out of the quilt she felt a tugging at her leg, and a twinge of pain. Where the glass had cut the crook of her leg, a scab had formed. Several blue fibers from the quilt had gotten stuck in it, and a dark brown stain now saturated the quilt. Pulling them apart gently allowed her to examine the wound. Small canyons ran through the scab, thinning out the clotted blood and allowing stray purple hairs to poke through. The cut was only a couple inches long, but the bleeding had saturated her coat.

The bed frame and mattress were still standing on their side. The rest of the blankets, the pillow, and a small Smarty Pants doll, were scattered in the corner. Reaching her hooves up, she knocked the bed back over onto four legs. Twilight recoiled and flinched at the loud noise the bed made as it landed. Grabbing the blankets in her mouth, she threw them back up on the bed. While grabbing the quilt she noticed it tasted like dust. Shaking the quilt out in the air caused more dust to fly off it. Twilight never thought she would miss the orderlies, but having them to do her laundry would have been nice. Beams of sunlight reflected off the dust, drawing her eyes to the window.

Beyond the window was the familiar sight of Ponyville. Had she passed the entrance exam, she would have lived in this friendly village with the Elements of Harmony. Her life would have been perfect, and her name known across Equestria. A couple dozen ponies walked through the streets. There were manes composed of every shade of the rainbow, and many coats with yellow and orange hues. Signs hung on the side of each building, gently rocking in the wind. The nearest house had a bird feeder where two hummingbirds fed. It was everything she had imagined it could be, and more.

"So that settles it, this is real." Twilight sighed, and watched as her breath fogged the window pane, then slowly disappeared.

A faint reflection of Twilight in the window posed a question. "Real you say? So I suppose the stress of saving the world four times caused you to dream of being a psychiatric inpatient?"

"That's not at all what I'm saying. I'm sure it's all related to this disease somehow."

"Oh, now I understand. The disease you know nothing about caused you to have delusions of a miserable, lonely life in a hospital. When you put it that way, even I believe this is real. In fact, I knew a pony who dreamed of being a bald, middle-aged bowler.”

"Come on, you can't just mock my hypothesis without any facts of your own. Who do you think you are to boss me around in my own head?”

"I'm the rational side of you. I'm the side of you that is not fooled by delusions of grandeur. I'm the better half that is always there, pushing you to accept the truth: You are a sick pony."

Twilight turned away from the window and glanced down at the floor. She fixated on a small knot in the wood for a moment, and then trotted away. "It's Colton's Razor, the simplest solution is usually the correct one. It'd be convoluted to think I'm stuck in a delusion. It’s simple to believe I’m sick."

A reflection in a nearby mirror made a counter-point. "Colton's Razor? You're carrying on a conversation with your reflection. You're crazy. 'Quod erat demonstrandum' as they say."

Glancing at the nearby cheval mirror, Twilight saw her reflection sporting a smug grin. Growling, she spun the mirror to face the wall. "I hate mirrors."

The voice in her head was finally silent. Spike would be back soon, and if she put the shattered picture frame away he would be none the wiser. The door to the supply closet swung open revealing dozens of brooms, buckets, and mops. The library was often the center of every disaster in Ponyville. Apparently it was her destiny to endlessly clean and organize a library.

It would be a quick matter to grab a broom and dustpan with her magic. A simple levitation spell would also reveal the extent of her illness. Energy seeped into the core of her being, and channeled towards her horn. The magic funneled to the base of the horn, waiting to be used. She began to feel a sharp pain, like needles pushing into her temples. Focusing on the broom, it began hovering in the air. It felt like it was taking twice the energy it should to levitate it. Releasing the broom, the headache quickly faded.

Having lived her life with no fine magic control, Twilight was used to complicated spells backfiring. She had isolated herself from others to study and practice magic. The spells continued to fail, and she would withdraw further. Twilight had become one of the very rare ponies to never gain a cutie mark. Even the hundreds of books and scrolls she read had not granted her a librarian cutie mark.

"Maybe insane ponies don't get cutie marks, or maybe you'll get a strait jacket cutie mark."

Ignoring the voice, she glanced back at her flank. It was adorned with the cutie mark she spent her childhood chasing: the six pointed star of a unicorn whose talent was magic. Twilight smiled, and redoubled her hopes that this was reality. In that moment an idea came to her. The quickest way to prove this world was real, would be to cast a spell she could never have cast in the other world.

Twilight decided to turn the wooden broom into rubber. It was the first transmutation spell that came to mind from the dozens she had read about. Imagining an intricate pattern of circles and triangles, an image began to form. A series of equations, magical constants, and sigils blazed into existence in her mind's eye. Ignoring the pins and needles, her focus shifted to the broom. The wood rippled as waves passed up and down its length. The pain in her temples was causing her to lose focus on the spell. Waves began to ripple through the wooden wall behind the broom. Realizing the spell should not take the massive amount of energy she was using, Twilight tried to cancel the spell.

Something splintered as a wall of pressure threw her against a wall. Her back ached and her ears were ringing from the sudden shockwave. Rolling off of her back, Twilight looked at the closet. The broom was in dozens of pieces and still had wisps of smoke coming off it. Rubbing her temples eased the tingling sensation, and a frown crept back onto her face. The spell had destroyed the broom along with her pride. Instead of proving this reality was real, her magic failed just like it always had.

Sitting back down with a loud thump, Twilight deflated and started kneading the floor. If only one of her real friends were here to help answer her many questions. Every memory of her old life, and everything about this life, contradicted each other. When she talked to Pinkie Pie, was she talking to Pinkie the inpatient, or Pinkie the party pony? When thinking of her friend, both of those memories were equally real to her. Each citizen of Ponyville was both an acquaintance and complete stranger.

Twilight's train of thought derailed as Rainbow Dash took a seat next to her. "Hey champ, why the long face?"

"I'm just doing some thinking. Have you ever had a dream that you thought was real? If you were unable to wake up, how would you know the difference between the dream and reality?"

Dash rested her chin in her hooves. "Whoa Twilight, that sounds like something straight out of one of your crazy sci-fi novels. Me, I'll take Daring Do any day. This wouldn't have anything to do with what the psychologist has been telling you?"

Twilight leaned back with widening eyes. "What? I'm seeing a psychologist here too?"

"Of course you are champ, why else would you be in a hospital?"

"No Dash, here in Ponyville!" Twilight pointed to the nearest window.

Dash spoke with a gentle confidence. "Twilight, what's the matter? It has been months since you mentioned Ponyville. Did they change your meds? Are you—having delusions again?"

"What? No I. . ." Slumping forward she stared straight down at the floor. How could Dash know about the hospital? "I'm scared. I can't decide what is real. I know one set of memories is false, but both sets of memories feel like they are correct."

Dash raised Twilight's chin with a hoof. "I know you're scared, and I'll let you in on a little secret. Being brave doesn't mean having no fear; it means acting through the fear. I know it scares you to let go of Ponyville. If you do, it means you can never be the perfect unicorn you dreamed of. Be brave, trust the doctors and get well. You can visit your parents and brother; you can get back to looking for your cutie mark. You are a brave pony; you have no reason to be scared."

"Thanks Dash, I'll try to be brave." A gentle breeze passed through the library, causing Dash to vanish.

Twilight had barely registered the ghost's departure when the library door opened. "Twilight where are you?"

"Over here Spike." Twilight sat just behind his line of sight. She had time to put on a fake smile before he opened the door wide enough to see her. Behind him was Zecora, a zebra shaman from a distant land.

"Actually, she is a pharmacist. Not a very good one," A voice chuckled. "The meds don't seem to be working."

"Twilight, you're alright." Spike flashed a grin and his eyes lit up. She was sitting there without a mess of books or a singed mane. Spike wasn't able to see the splinters of wood in the broom closet.

She slowly walked across the room and closed the door to the closet. "Of course I'm all right, you weren't gone long enough for me to start experimenting with transmutation." Her face flushed slightly as she avoided eye contact.

"Heh, sure thing. So Zecora is here! She brought you some medicine."

"Twilight do not linger there, come near and let me fix your hair." Zecora began to unpack her saddlebags in the middle of the room.

Twilight tried to run a hoof through her mane, and it immediately got stuck. Realizing how horribly tangled her mane was she accepted the offer. Sitting down, her first thought was to examine Zecora more closely. The zebra had black and white hairs in her coat, with several grey hairs scattered among them. Her grey eyes were surrounded by wrinkles that seemed to branch across her entire face. She carried herself with an air of authority, and must have great wisdom.

Zecora started to comb her mane and perform a physical examination discretely. "When I heard that you were ill, I did not know you'd go downhill. Instead of consulting shamans far away, I should have seen you that first day." Zecora tugged on an ear and looked inside.

"What could possibly be in my ear that explains this? Zecora, how long have I been sick?"

"A couple weeks, give or take, since you had that first headache." With practiced ease she looked in Twilight's mouth, and then checked her pupils.

"I can't stand rhymes."

"Spike says I have miasma, and he seems to think you'd know all about it?" Just saying the word seemed to bring another wave of pain from her horn. Wearily she rubbed her temples with her hooves, drawing a little magic in to ease the pain.

"Through study and ritual from far and wide, I'll share with you all I have plied. Miasma is an ancient malaise, dating back to forgotten days. Long before the time of Nightmare Moon, before the Empire Sombra did consume. Shaman lore tells us of a disease most tragic, feeding hungrily off unicorn magic."

"How could I be sick with some long lost disease? Surely I couldn't have gotten it with such ease." Twilight slapped a hoof to her forehead when she realized she had rhymed too. Her facehoof was the reason her pain now grew.

"Cut it out Twilight! If you keep rhyming I swear to Celestia I'll hold our breath!"

"Oh be quiet, I have been hearing enough voices lately without you mouthing off."

"Maybe if you took my advice I'd shut up."

"Yeah right—" Twilight was interrupted by a hoof gently placed on her chin.

"Twilight, whom are you talking to? There’s nopony in front of you." Zecora took another quick glance around the room.

Realizing she was talking to herself in front of Zecora snapped her back to the present. She mumbled, "No one, please continue."

"As I was saying, I don't know how, but surely you have gotten it now. Perhaps it was the Crystal Kingdom? Or maybe the overthrow of Discord's fiefdom? Were you not Celestia's student, quarantine would have been most prudent. Now listen closely to what I say, your life depends on holding this at bay."

Zecora had stopped combing her hair and had locked eyes with Twilight. Her stare was intense and absolute. Her mind drifted to memories of a scared filly being scolded by her father. "Yes ma'am."

"It is magic miasma hungers and craves, and has led to many a unicorn's graves. You absolutely must not feed it, or a grievous error you would commit. Starving it is the only way it can be beat, otherwise a painful demise you will meet. Wrack your body with withdrawal, this disease will resist its own downfall."

"So you're saying I can't use magic or it'll get stronger and kill me? And that it's going to get worse before it gets better?"

"That is correct Twilight Sparkle. . . whose lovely mane looks dyed by archil."

"Wow she's good. Annoying—But good."

Twilight coughed, clearing her throat. "Spike said you brought me some medicine? What is it supposed to do if the only cure is to not use magic?"

"Of side effects I have learned a few: fever, paranoia, and delusions too. I believe the disease could drive somepony mad, until they would not recognize their own dad. So I have prepared for you this fortifying brew, to help resist it happening to you."

"What if I've already gone mad? What if I thought this whole world was a delusion, and that I was really in a hospital right now?"

"That I think would be most troubling, are these thoughts in your mind bubbling?"

Twilight lost herself in her thoughts and stared into the distance. If she told her the truth, Zecora would think she had already gone mad. Zecora might have Celestia banish her before she hurt anypony. Celestia could send her to the moon. . . If she lied, she wouldn't get the help she needed. She would continue to get worse because she was afraid to ask for help. "Bravery is acting through the fear," a voice reminded her. Twilight decided the best course of action was to take any help she could get.

"Yes. Before this morning this was all just a delusion, a place I went to escape my real life. My real home is a hospital; I was getting better so I could go home to my family. . ."

"Twilight dear this disease is poorly documented, who knows what false memories it has fermented. Now please hurry and drink my potion, it may help to dispel this notion."

Twilight took the wooden cup in her hooves and examined it. Steam rose from the liquid, but the cup felt cool in her hooves. As she looked closer she could see it fizzing, and it had a scent of citrus. Swallowing the medicine, it left a sweet aftertaste of oranges. A tingling accompanied the unique art of shaman magic as it diffused through her system.

At first, warmth and calmness spread through her abdomen. Soon her lungs felt clear and each breath revitalized her. Muscles she hadn't realized were sore had their aches soothed. Her limbs tingled, and the cut on her leg seemed to shrink. Twilight would have sworn her purple coat had begun to shine a little more.

The warmth reached her head, where it was rebuked by a wall of agony. The blissful feelings throughout her body vanished instantly. Her horn felt as if it was burrowing through her skull, pressing on her every nerve. Falling to the floor screaming, she grasped her horn and tried to tear it off. The warmth in her body had turned into an agonizing fire that threatened to consume her. The aftertaste in her throat went bitter, and she began to suffocate. Twilight could feel the magic all around her, and the only thing she could think of was the hunger.

Just a little magic to appease the hunger could end all this pain. Seeing the easy path ahead of her, she tried to resist the urge to call upon magic. An increasing weight collapsed on her chest, making it difficult to breathe. Her muscles tensed and refused to relax, quickly cramping throughout her body. Wanting more than anything to end the pain before it got any worse, she called upon magic to satiate the hunger.

"Twilight! Are you ok?" Spike and Zecora were standing over her with wide eyes.

"Yes." Twilight nearly choked on the word. It felt like an anvil had crushed her.

"This illness is more resilient than I thought, I'm sorry for the pain I wrought."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Wait, you didn't know what was going to happen?" She swallowed to soothe her dry throat, and stood up to glare at Zecora. "I thought the whole point of this was to ease my symptoms!"

"Twilight dear I am filled with regret, that potion surely was our best bet. Perhaps if I could get some echinacea and ginseng, then a new potion I would start brewing."

"What? No. There's no way I'm letting you do that again, it could kill me! Medicine is supposed to make you better, not hurt you. That's not medicine, it is witchcraft."

"Twilight dear, your words do insult. I assure you shamanism is not occult."

"Out." Her forehead wrinkled and her eyes narrowed as she gazed at Zecora. "You don't just experiment on ponies like that. Do you have any idea how bad that felt? Just leave!"

"Once you have unwound, in my hut I can be found." Zecora turned and said something to Spike before gathering her belongings and heading for the door.

Once she was gone, Spike approached her and put a claw on her shoulder. "That was rude. She just wants to help."

"Rude? Did you see what she did to me? Zecora tried to cure something she doesn't understand, and caused me all that pain. All I have to do is not use magic and I'll be fine. Every time I use magic it seems to backfire anyway, so how hard can it be to not use any for a week or two?" Twilight paced in circles fuming, and then noticed Spike staring at her.

"But Twilight, you've been using magic all day. Just a second ago your horn lit up, and you got better. Are you sure you can do this all by yourself?"

Twilight moaned at her defeat, flopping back onto the ground. "How am I going to beat this? I'm sure not going to be trying potions again anytime soon."

After an hour of cleaning, all the broken glass was gone. Twilight's bed was once again made, and the last stray books had been put away. Spike had opened the windows to get a fresh breeze, while Twilight lay on the bed nursing her self-pity. There was surely a piece of literature somewhere in the library that would prove helpful. Just one remedy or cure in the many old tomes that would help her sort this out without resorting to shamanism.

Twilight nearly leapt out of her skin as a blur of color impacted the shelves in front of her, scattering books everywhere. Once she returned to her senses, she saw a dizzy Rainbow Dash rubbing her head. All around her friend lay the books she had spent so much time earlier organizing.

"So, I guess the inverted possum trick is a bust. Oh Twilight, how's it going?" Dash stood up and began examining her limbs for injuries. When she looked back up, Twilight was standing directly in front of her with a raised eyebrow. With a quick movement, Twilight poked her friend in the nose to make sure she wasn't seeing things again. To her great surprise, Dash poked her back. "Equestria to egghead!"

Twilight flashed a sheepish smile at Dash. "It's good that you're real. . . I mean, it's good to see you."

"Of course it is, but it's better to see you. It's not every day your best friend gets a rare magical disease. So how's your research going?" Dash looked around expecting to find a pile of parchment, multiple quills, and jars of ink. Instead she saw a trashcan full of glass, stray books, and a dragon that looked like he had been through Tartarus. "I see . . . so Spike are we talking 'forgot a friendship letter' bad, or 'visited by myself from the future' bad?"

Spike gestured past the fresh mess that Dash had made. "We cleaned up most of it. Twilight's been having some . . . side effects from being sick."

"Oh, well that's not good. If anypony can figure it out, I bet Twilight can! After all, you're pretty cool for an egghead."

"Do you really think so Dash?" Twilight had a wide smile on her face reminiscent of Pinkie Pie when you mentioned cupcakes.

"Uh. . . Yes. I mean, you'd have to be pretty smart to save the world four times, even with my help." Dash fell backwards as Twilight tackled her in a hug. Dash wanted to tell her to stop, but Twilight's legs were compressing her ribs.

"Oh thank you! Thank you! I couldn't ask for a better friend!" Dash started tapping her hoof on the ground as her face turned from cyan to purple. Twilight let go when she was done singing her praises.

With a sharp intake of air, Dash inhaled and rolled away from Twilight. "Wow—I don't think—I've ever had—a hug like that." Dash looked over at Spike who was re-shelving the books and had an idea. "Hey Spike, how about I take Twilight out for a walk so you can clean in peace? At least with us gone, no more stuff will be knocked over!"

"That's a great idea Dash!" Twilight galloped to the dresser to grab her saddlebags.

"Rainbow, she's been acting weird today. Like, Pinkie Pie when she thought you hated her and were throwing her a going away party. Keep an eye on her, especially if she starts talking about how nopony is real."

"Sure thing Spike, you sure it isn't just Twilight being Twilight?” Dash spun a hoof around her ear.

"She nearly knocked me out in a tornado of books earlier.”

"Wow." Dash smirked. "I wish I had seen that."

"Also, I think she might be afraid of going outside, she's been staying inside a lot."

"Hmm, just give me a couple days and I can cure her of that habit! Have her ready to go at noon Friday." Rainbow winked at Spike before shouting at Twilight. "Hey slowpoke, hurry up we've got to go!"

Rainbow and Twilight walked out of the library into the afternoon sun. Twilight was like a filly with a schoolyard crush, happily trotting alongside Dash. Each time she tried to get a little more space, Twilight would catch up. Dash looked back at the library. They had only gone two houses down and already it felt like they were attached at the hip.

Twilight had a different perspective than her friend. The sun was shining brightly, revealing just how open everything was. She had tried to close her eyes and stay next to Dash. With the sea of ponies and dozens of houses it would be easy for her to get lost. When Twilight did open her eyes and glance around, everypony acted as if a single glance could infect them with her illness.

"So Dash how's the weather?" Twilight glanced at the ground reflecting on how dumb that question sounded.

"Um. . . Sunny? We are only scheduling rain at night this week. Why do you ask? Want me to whip up some shade?"

"No that's ok, though I have always wanted to see a sonic rainboom. I've always imagined what they must look like." Twilight smiled, and took time to appreciate her friend's mane. Spending most of her life indoors, she had forgotten just how many colors comprised a rainbow. Twilight could make out dozens of colors blending seamlessly together in her hair. From a distance, it appeared to change from red to orange. Up close, she could make out hairs of every hue fading them together.

Dash tilted her head and raised an eyebrow as she analyzed Twilight. "You've seen me do it twice Twilight, are you planning to join my fan club or something?"

"You have a fan club! Oh that's wonderful, when's the next meeting? Do they sell little dolls of you?"

Twilight brushed right up against Dash. "Whoa there, you're headed straight for creepy town. Why don't we just enjoy the walk? And if you really want to join, talk to Scootaloo." Dash smiled and tried to get a little further from Twilight.

"Oh Scootaloon is here? That's the filly that chewed her wings off in the hospital."

Dash took a step away to glance at her. "And you've passed creepy town. Where'd that come from? Scootaloo is fine, in fact I've taken her under my wing." Dash put a hoof up to Twilight's forehead. "Well you don't feel like you have a fever."

"I'm fine, let's just enjoy each other. . . I mean the sunlight." Twilight grinned and brushed her mane away from her ears. She resumed glancing nervously at all the ponies around her. Several of them were carrying on conversations with each other, and Twilight was able to hear bits and pieces of them.

"It's a good thing they locked her up, crippling her own brother? Any sane pony would have known better." Bon Bon chatted with Lyra, shooting Twilight a venomous glare when she saw her eavesdropping.

"I think she's gone into a coma . . ." A stallion walked around a corner and out of ear shot.

"I heard she killed everypony at the entrance exam, went mad and only Celestia could stop her." Octavia glanced over at Twilight, and quickly walked away.

Twilight had come to a complete stop as everypony around her was saying mean things. She was in the middle of the road with nothing to hide behind, and Rainbow Dash was nowhere in sight. Her knees began to quiver, and she fought to keep them from turning to jelly. Every single pony in the street was staring straight at her.

"Stop it now or I'm calling the orderlies!" Twilight began backing up as ponies leered at her and whispered hateful things. The ponies either didn't hear her words, or they didn't care.

"Get the doctor now! And have the orderlies bring the restraints!" Mayor Mare was approaching with 2 police officers. Her eyebrows were slanted and she marched forward with grim determination.

Twilight turned and ran towards the nearest two houses, diving into the narrow alley between them. It was dark enough nopony would be able to find her. She quickly examined the alleyway; aside from some trash cans it was empty. Her head fell back onto the wall with a dull thud. Breathing in the aroma of rotting trash, she tried to relax. Slowing her rapid breathing took some effort. While she waited for the nausea to dissipate, she willed her muscles to relax one at a time. As the adrenaline filtered out of her system, her heart resumed a more normal rhythm.

She knew there had to be a perfectly logical explanation for all of this. The ponies around town were saying things they couldn’t possibly know. How would Bon Bon know she had hurt her brother? Why would the Mayor be trying to capture her? Creeping to the edge of the alleyway, Twilight glanced out to see what everypony was doing now.

“Bon Bon, come on! We’re going to be late again. We can gossip later after my recital.” A mint green mare tugged on a pale yellow pony, while levitating a lyre.

Twilight looked further down the road and saw the mayor and the 2 police officers checking alleyways.

“Ma’am, are you sure there is an orphan hiding in Ponyville? I know that a Pegasus filly escaped from the orphanage in Canterlot, but I doubt they could make it all the way to Ponyville on their own.” The police colt pulled out a flash light, shined it in the alley, and walked off towards the next one.

Twilight decided she was over-reacting. The ponies seemed to be acting normally now, it would probably be best to just pretend none of it happened. She decided to look for Dash and head home.

"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight called out in a weak voice.

"Nope, it's just me Pinkie Pie!"

Twilight looked around for the source of the voice but couldn't see Pinkie anywhere. "Oh another hallucination, are you here to laugh at me too?"

"Why would I do that? Did you tell a joke? I love jokes! Is it the one about the pony who took a changeling as a pet? Or maybe one of Lyra's jokes about humans?"

"No, I didn't tell a joke. I'm just the same pathetic mare who is scared to go outside, and failed everypony she ever loved."

"That's awfully mopey of you. You're one of the best friends I've ever had and you've never failed me. There was the time you guys left me in Dodge Junction, but that was actually tons of fun! Rarity and I got to chat for hours. Did I ever tell you how we ran into Captain Jack on the railroad tracks?"

Twilight sighed, hoping to be spared one of Pinkie's infamous tangents into her absurd little world. There had been enough absurdity today to last her a lifetime. "No, I'd rather you not Pinkie. What I'd really like is to have my old room back. It was small with no windows, and was painted white. I had a bookshelf, desk, and a bed. I could study quietly with nopony bothering me, and I felt safe there."

"Oh, well why didn't you say so silly? I'll get right on it!"

Twilight felt a breeze and smelled something reminiscent of cotton candy. "Pinkie?" There was no answer. Another ghost from her past must have abandoned her before offering any helpful insight. Standing up, she crept further out of the alleyway. Across the street was Rainbow Dash, looking around frantically.

"Dash, over here!" Twilight raised a hoof and waved at her.

"Oh thank Celestia!" Rainbow Dash crossed the street in one beat of her wings. "I turned around when I couldn't feel you bumping into me anymore and you were gone. Are you ok?"

Twilight walked alongside Dash towards the library. “I was hearing voices and I got scared, that’s when I realized you weren’t there anymore.”

Dash glanced around, wondering what the best thing to say was. “Well, you’re sick so that’s probably all it was. You know you can count on me if you ever get scared?”

Twilight nuzzled Dash’s neck. “Yeah, I’ve always wanted a friend like you.”

Dash had never been good at the ‘touchy-feely’ stuff, deciding to excuse herself as they neared the library. “Well, it’s getting late, and I’ve got to get some clouds ready for a light rain tonight.” Dash took off with a flap of her wings.

“Thanks for the walk.” Approaching the library, Twilight noticed for the first time how vibrant and alive the tree was. Lush green foliage crowned the upper third of the tree. Golden brown bark covered the ancient oak, giving way to smoothed wood near the windows and door. A family of squirrels skittered along the upper branches, and funneled into a hollow in a branch. The door pushed open easily with a faint squeak, and she stepped inside. Closing the door, she saw Spike with a duster, whistling a tune.

“Spike, I’m back." Looking around there was no sign of debris, nor any fallen books. "The library looks amazing, even better than this morning.”

Spike hopped off the third step of the ladder, landing with a soft clunk. “Hey Twi, I was hoping you’d feel better if it’s clean. Are you feelin' better?”

“I guess so.” Twilight thought of the voices and hallucinations. “Just some symptoms from being sick, but I have you to take care of me.”

Spike smiled wide, revealing his bright white teeth. “It’s cool; you always took care of me when I was sick. What is family for?”

"Yeah Twilight, your family dumped you in a hospital and stopped visiting after only two years."

“Family is supposed to love and support each other. Can anypony blame me for wanting that?”

“Uh. . . no. You've got family and friends that love you, so you won’t ever be alone. Pinkie Pie even stopped by to see you.”

"Pinkie is here! Oh no, she's going to jump out at any second! Where is she? Is she in the potted plant? The bookshelf? My desk? The stove?" Twilight backed up to the wall to make sure Pinkie didn’t sneak up from behind.

“Calm down Twi, she isn’t here anymore. She said something about two by fours and nails, and left. She left you some cupcakes, though I have already eaten a few.” Spike knew he wasn't allowed to have sweets before bed. Noticing a bit of frosting on his elbow, he tried to lick it off but couldn’t quite reach. He rubbed the icing off with his other claw.

“Thanks Spike, I think I’ll have one and then head to bed. You’re probably tired too, you don’t need to clean anymore.”

“Whew, about time. I can hear my blanket calling out to me.” Spike tossed the duster into the supply closet and closed the door. Slowly climbing the steps, he stretched his arms up high and let out a long yawn. He grinned at the fact he'd just gotten away with eating 3 cupcakes before bed. As soon as he had curled up in his bed, he fell asleep and began to snore.

Twilight walked into the kitchen and spotted the baked goods in a pink box. Each cupcake had its own style, and they all looked delicious. Grabbing a black one with pink frosting, she lifted it to her nose. It smelled like cinnamon and chocolate. On the top of the cupcake was a purple star resembling Twilight’s cutie mark. She tossed the cupcake in her mouth and began to chew. It was so sweet that she could feel her teeth tingling, almost aching, from the rush of sugar. The chocolate melted, spreading the sweet taste around her tongue. No imagination could ever dream of such an exquisite cupcake, and yet here they were.

Grabbing a red cupcake with yellow icing and a green apple, Twilight scarfed it down. It also tasted of chocolate, but of a more velvety texture. It was mixed with a slightly sour apple taste. Next she ate a pink cupcake, and then a yellow one. She tossed another in her mouth; it was one with every color of the rainbow baked into it. Reaching back into the box, it was empty. Frowning, she looked around the box for any stray icing. "That sucks. Maybe tomorrow I can get some more cupcakes."

Twilight headed upstairs, licking the bits of icing from between her teeth on the way. She stopped on the way to bed to brush her teeth. Glancing in the mirror, she noticed her eyes were blood shot. Small red veins were weaving their way around her sclera. Puffy violet bags rested beneath her eyes, and just seeing them made her feel exhausted from a long day. Reaching for a tissue, she tried to clear her sinuses. Green bits of phlegm and yellow mucus stained the tissue. Just what I need, yet another illness that turns my sinuses into an endless factory of snot. Tossing the tissue into the trash, she inhaled and noticed only one side of her nose had been cleared.

Twilight began to brush her teeth with her hooves, which was easy since she had done it this way all her life. Or have I done it with magic before? It didn’t take long for her to finish brushing and spit out the minty foam. Smiling widely, she saw several pristine white teeth on a lavender mare smiling back.

”I bet Colgate would be proud, brushing your teeth all by yourself! Bravo Twilight!”

“Not you again, why can’t you be content to just stay in my head like a good voice? This whole mirror deal is getting old.” Twilight was no longer smiling, yet the mare in the mirror was.

”Where is the fun in that? Being a conscience can get quite boring, especially when you never listen to reason! Remember, we told you not to try and cast that time dilation spell. It was well beyond our abilities!”

“Don’t you dare pretend to be blameless for my mistakes. Maybe I could control my magic better without you always second guessing me. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have somepony always ignoring your wishes and telling you what to do?”

”I know exactly what that’s like!” The mare in the mirror began laughing and grasping her ribs. “That’s—haha—every day—haha—of our life!”

Twilight slammed a hoof against the light switch, causing the mirror to fall into darkness. Turning to leave the bathroom, she heard one last taunt behind her.

”Oh Twilight! Say ‘bloody mare!’ three times into the dark mirror, it’ll be fun!”

Twilight continued walking away from the bathroom. Now that she had a moment alone, she gazed over the many books nearest to her bed for some light reading. Of all the literature in the library, there were few on medicine. Even fewer of them had to do with ancient diseases. Taking a book off the shelf, she skimmed through the glossary. There was no mention of miasma, though it did have a section on opportunistic pathogens she might read later. An ancient looking tome named Magical Maladies sat at the end of the lowest shelf. Flipping through the worn glossary was no more helpful then the last book. It was likely she would have to cross-reference all the medical books in the hopes of identifying an illness that had stumped doctors for centuries.

Twilight jerked her head back up for what felt like the hundredth time. How long have I been standing here lost in my thoughts? Letting a long yawn escape, she looked around the dim bedroom. Her eyelids were beginning to feel like lead. Both eyes focused on the soft pillow and cool, smooth sheets. Whatever breakthrough she was going to make had to wait. She set the book down on the nightstand, and then released the fireflies from the bedside lamp.

The comfortable bed quickly lulled Twilight to sleep. She slept so deeply that it seemed like only seconds had passed when a harsh bright light woke her up. Her mind still groggy, it took her several minutes to realize she was back in the hospital.

III. Hysteria

III. Hysteria

Twilight's mind was sluggish and disorganized while waking up. She had spent many sleepless nights in this bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking of her family. Glancing across the room she spotted the dozens of books that were her sole companion. Everything was as she remembered it, yet her mind refused to accept it. It felt like the day she had woken up in Ponyville, and the only way to get answers would be to explore the hospital.

Sitting forward in the bed caused the bed to creak under her shifting weight. Kicking the sheets off, she approached the bookshelf and found a gap indicating a missing book. Examining the desk revealed the book lay open to a chapter on leylines. Several detailed diagrams were scattered across the writing surface, drawn in crayon. Underneath a stack of the parchment was a drawing of the Ponyville library, and detailed notes describing its appearance.

Looking up at the clock Twilight noticed it was 7:45. Breakfast would be open, and with any luck she could find some answers. Her mind felt numb from trying to untangle realities. Pushing the door open, she walked out into the corridor. Across the hall a pony was playing a concerto featuring what sounded like a cello. Closing the door behind her, Twilight headed down the hallway towards the common area.

A familiar voice decided to offer her an opinion. "You remember what I was saying about Colton's Razor? Looks like I was right, again. You're crazy."

Twilight continued to walk down the hallway, ignoring the voice. Even if it was right, she was not going to engage it and give it the satisfaction. Ponyville was a happy place where everything is perfect. She hardly lifted her eyes off the floor beneath her as she dragged her hooves along the linoleum tiles. Why did the world where she screwed up have to be the real one?

"That's an easy one Twilight, you don't deserve to be happy. Celestia did say you had the most untapped magic of any unicorn she had seen. Maybe if you had an ounce of self-control you wouldn't be here."

She continued to hold her tongue as the voice taunted her. I passed the entrance exam when the sonic rainboom went off and I hatched Spike. Celestia just calmed me down before anypony got hurt. Wait. . . or did I fail? I don't remember a sonic rainboom, and the egg never hatched.

"Hah! I am a voice in your head, I can hear you thinking. It sure is enjoyable to ride around in this limp noodle of a brain. Let me help you out, you failed the test and cried all the way home on daddy's back."

"Fine, you win, I'm going to find the pharmacist and get my meds for the morning. We'll see who is laughing when you can't pester me for another 24 hours." Twilight took a small hallway to the left and approached the gated nurse's station. Looking inside, she saw there were no nurses present. Normally, Zecora started her shift by six to hand out morning medicine. Pulling herself up to the counter, she looked at the time on the clock. It now said 12:15.

Twilight walked back towards the common area more quickly than before. Her heartbeat sped up slightly in reaction to the eerie silence in the corridors. Maybe the nurses had a meeting, but not a single orderly in sight? Reaching the common area she saw Cloud Chaser running in circles. She had never figured out what kind of illness the mare had, but apparently it made chasing her tail quite exciting.

"Um. . . Cloud? Where is everypony? Why are you the only one here?"

The mare stopped, flexing her wings against her jacket. "No one lives in the asylum because they want to. It's like a train. It can't run anywhere except where the rails take it."

"That's not exactly what I asked. Are you okay?" Twilight took a small step back as Cloud stopped running in circles and stared into her eyes.

"Escape from a world of illusions... Hmph... I wonder which is better." Cloud began chasing her tail again.

Twilight's heart was now pounding and producing a weak pulse as adrenaline narrowed her peripheral arteries. "Thanks, gotta run!" Twilight turned to leave and heard the mare's last words.

"Then I'll be going now. I'll come back when it's all over."

Twilight headed towards the cafeteria down the last hallway of patient rooms. "Well one thing’s for certain, the patients are still just as crazy here. I suppose I would have been real freaked out if anypony could give me a straight answer."

A stomping sound echoed down the linoleum corridors, ricocheting off the plaster walls to reach Twilight. Her ears swiveled forward to gauge the distance. More than one set of hooves was galloping down a hallway. A mint green mare rounded the corner and resumed her sprint. Twilight was paralyzed with her eyes wide open and mouth agape. The only muscle still capable of moving was her heart, and it was fluttering around her ribcage.

"TRUST NO ONE! HUMANS ARE REAL!" The mint green mare rammed straight into Twilight, throwing her against the nearby wall. The hallway was spinning around and she struggled to get to her feet. Finally regaining her balance, she saw two orderlies approaching her.

"Oh good. . ." Twilight thought she might vomit from the dizziness. "What's going on?"

The orderlies didn’t answer, instead pinning Twilight to the wall. Realizing their intent too late, Twilight thrashed her legs. She kicked the ponies several times before they got all 4 limbs under control. She then focused all the magic she could into her body, and up to her horn. She planned to blast them both back against the wall, but nothing happened. The magic had just vanished. By the time she craned her neck around to see where they were taking her, she was being strapped down to a bed.

The lights went out, leaving Twilight with her thoughts. "What kind of cruel joke is this! Let me out!" Twilight began to sob, as the padded walls muffled her scream. It wasn't fair; it would have been better to stay in the dream then be stuck here and forgotten.

"I reckon you'd do the procedure on everypony if it meant spending less money on long term care."

"Applejack? AJ is that you!" Twilight pulled hard against the restraints; they didn’t budge an inch.

"The success rate has improved, just look at how well Ms. Pie is doing"

"Hello? I can hear you—just turn the lights on."

The only sound left in the silence was her pounding heart. What on Equestria were they talking about? The box springs began to creak as weight was placed at the foot of the bed. Twilight tensed her muscles and froze, waiting for it to move. Something slowly crept forward until it was hovering over her. A weight lowered onto her chest, paralyzing her lungs. Sitting there motionless she heard it breathing above her.

Her eyes had nearly adjusted to the dark when the lights flipped on, blinding her. "Who's there? Please--let me go I didn't--do anything!" Twilight squinted through the tears the harsh light was forming. The blurred outline of a pony hovered above her, and pushed the matted hair away from her eyes. "Please let me out, I'll be good." The weight of the pony and the restraints had completely immobilized her. Each breath took great effort as she waited for her eyes to adjust.

The blurry face was finally taking form in front of her. Light blue eyes, long pink mane, and. . . pink fur. Twilight knew this pony, it was one of her friends! As she searched for the words that had caught in her throat, the pink pony grinned. She looked feral, and there was no hint of recognition in her eyes. To her, Twilight must just be another stranger, lost in the labyrinth of the hospital corridors.

Pinkie locked eyes with Twilight. The space between each heartbeat stretched into minutes. The pony finally spoke with a chilling voice that cut to the bone. "Did I ever tell you how I got these scars?"

Twilight snapped her head to the side and clenched her eyes shut. "No! Stop it," she pleaded. "I don't want to see them." The pink pony grabbed her head, and pointed it at her flank. She wanted to look away, but her eyes drifted down to the ponies flank. The cutie marks had been mutilated with something sharp. Blood was oozing thick and slowly from the wounds as they re-opened. The pony on top of her was cackling madly.

The pink imposter began to open her mouth wide, causing joints to pop. Her mandible dislocated and her skin stretched until it began to tear. Leaning over, she closed her jaw down around Twilight’s head and swallowed.

Twilight woke up gasping for air. The sheets were tangled around her, pinning two legs against her side. Confusion was clouding each thought as her brain processed the recent events. Waves of pressure assaulted her brain, and she felt an unbearable tension under her forehead. Twilight noticed her body was trembling violently. Lifting a quivering hoof to her face allowed her to inspect the limb. This is not a seizure. I still have control of my body. Twilight was drenched in sweat and realized how cold she was. Trying to wrap herself up further in the blankets was useless. The blankets were knotted and drenched in sweat.

Trembling and alone, Twilight began to sob. She clenched her eyelids shut and replayed images of the hospital in her mind. Everything seemed like some sort of sick, twisted nightmare that she couldn't escape. The pressure in her head worsened slightly, as chills ran down her spine. The craving for magic began to fill her mind, making it hard to concentrate. A wave of nausea overcame her, accompanied by the taste of bile in the back of her throat.

Twilight wanted to scream for help—surely Spike would hear. The pressure of the air around her paralyzed her lungs, preventing her from inhaling. The shivering was becoming unbearable as prismatic veins of magic appeared in her mind’s eye. The magic would cure her. It was all her mind could focus on. Each leyline transmitted pulses of arcane energy like blood through an artery, beckoning her to feed.

Unable to bear her body’s physical withdrawal any longer, she opened her mind and let magic flood into it. As the trembling decreased, Twilight felt something siphoning the essence of the magic from her. She searched for any spell that could sever the link to the void siphoning her magic.

"Yes, that's a great idea, let’s feed it."

Twilight was slightly startled, and stopped drawing in energy. The images in her mind vanished, leaving her alone in the dark room.

Laying there in bed, she practiced a relaxation technique she had learned. She took slow, deep breaths using her abdomen. Each inhalation lasted a little longer than the last, her diaphragm slowly contracting and relaxing to draw air in. Soon, the trembling had stopped, and she delved deeper into the relaxing state. The pain began to fade as her mind calmed, and the logical parts of her were allowed to surface. She had regained control, and lay there peacefully, but unable to fall back asleep.

"Good morning Twilight." Spike had a tray of oatmeal and glass of orange juice on a tray. The dragon seemed very upbeat this morning. There was no hint of exhaustion in his eyes, and his smile seemed genuine. "I just finished breakfast; if you want anything else let me know. Yesterday was rough, but today will be better!"

"Thanks Spike." Twilight yawned loudly. "I didn't get much sleep last night. Maybe after breakfast you can run any errands you need to and I'll try to get some rest."

"Oh, that reminds me, Pinkie has a surprise downstairs. I don't know how she got in last night." Spike set the food on the nightstand and headed for the stairs. "I'll go make sure she doesn't make a mess until you're ready for her."

“Great—just perfect.” Twilight quickly ate her breakfast. Heading down the stairs to the library, Twilight saw Spike banging on the door to the broom closet. Due to the unprecedented number of messes in the library, she kept a large, well-stocked supply closet.

"Pinkie! Come on, I need to run errands and I don't want you here making a racket while Twilight relaxes."

"She's fine Spike." Twilight rested a hoof on his shoulder. Spike took a step back and looked up at her. "Go ahead, I'll find out what Pinkie is up to. How about you bring back some fresh apples? I'd love to have some."

"Alright, send Pinkie if you need anything." Spike headed downstairs and towards the marketplace.

"So Pinkie, what are you doing in there?" Twilight tried the door handle, only to have it jiggle in place, locked from the inside. "Hey, did you install a lock? What's going on?"

"It's a surprise! I’m almost ready!" From within the room Twilight could hear hammering, sawing, and something reminiscent of a jackhammer.

"How in Equestria are you doing that?"

"O.K., it's ready!" The sounds died out and Pinkie unlocked the door. Twilight stood there for a minute wondering if it was really worth opening the door to find the surprise. Slowly turning the handle, the door began to creak as it slowly opened into the dark closet. A sliver of light shone into the room. The door was now open half-way.

"Surprise!" Pinkie Pie flipped off the ceiling, landing in front of Twilight. "I built you a new room!"

Twilight picked her jaw up off the floor and looked inside. Sure enough, she had built a bed, bookshelf, and desk. The walls were now painted white and accented with lime green trim. It all felt so familiar, and yet strange at the same time. "What? How could you have possibly known I was missing my old room?"

"That's easy! You told me when you couldn't find Rainbow Dash, and you were all mopey in the alleyway!"

"Oh, I thought I was imagining that."

"So you like it?"

"Yes Pinkie, I'm sure I'll sleep better in there."

"Great! Now I'm going to go find Spike and help him get all the groceries you two could ever want. See ya later alligator!" Pinkie Pie bounced down the remaining stairs to the ground floor, and zoomed out the front door.

Twilight took a moment to look in the room, before turning the light off and heading downstairs. At least I didn't tell her to build me a new house. Twilight began to look around the library for the book she needed. She hadn't realized before how messy and disorganized it was. Books were scattered on the shelves by sub-standard organizational systems. Several followed an ancient Dewey decimal system. Others were organized by name, as if the title of a book was a good indicator of its content. The haphazard rows of books were balanced precariously on the shelves, with books both large and small waiting to fall off at the first sign of a crashing pegasus.

Twilight began in earnest to organize the library. First was the task of separating the books into piles on the ground. There would need to be an equal number of books on each shelf. Size, color, and field of study would need to be considered. Age and condition of the pages was another important factor. She began balancing the importance of each factor in her head, until finally deciding the best plan was to keep it simple.

Twilight arranged books onto the first set of bookshelves. On each shelf were 10 books bound in red backings. Their heights ranged from eight inches to six inches in descending order. It looked absolutely amazing and pleasing to the eye. They were also packed in tightly, and the weight was distributed evenly to make them harder to knock off the shelves.

Looking through the piles, there weren't enough orange books to go on the next shelf. The number of green books wasn't divisible by three, so she couldn't distribute them evenly either. Thinking for a moment, she decided the best course of action was to begin a discard pile. Tossing the orange books and two green books into a pile, she shelved the remaining books up with nine books per shelf. The green books had perfectly matched heights, as most of them were part of a fiction series.

Moving onward were the dictionaries, encyclopedias, and other reference materials nopony ever checked out. They were all about three inches wide with over a thousand pages each in unceremonious black bindings. Stacking them side by side, she was able to fit fifteen on the three shelves. Looking down, that meant she would discard the Webster's Dictionary and the Reference Guide to Anthropology.

Twilight continued in this manner until the entire library was organized according to shape, size, and color. The library was no longer a chaotic mix of books based on their Dewey Decimal number; It was elegant, functional, and pleasing to look at. However there was one problem. In the middle of the library sat a pile of books that didn't fit anywhere. They were the cause of this problem in the first place. They had nasty, worn covers, and a few were even done in leather. Their colors were obtrusive, and they had repulsive shapes. There was no space in her perfect library for these books.

She skipped into the kitchen with a grin, and found what she was looking for. Returning to the pile of rejected books, she lit two matches. They fell on the books and began singing the pages. Twilight looked across the room and saw a mirror, with a figure sitting there watching patiently.

"Don't mind me, this is quite entertaining!" The Twilight in the mirror just smiled and watched. "I am curious though—how will you stop the whole library from burning down?"

"Oh crap." Twilight ran to the kitchen to find some water while the books were finally beginning to go from smoldering to burning. She rushed back in with a glass of water, when the front door opened and smacked her in the face.

"Twil—” Spike stuttered and froze in the doorway. “Quick Pinkie, help me put this out!" Spike and Pinkie ran over to the books, trying to save them from the flames. The fire had spread across the pile and was scorching the floor.

"Spike, I don't know if we can stop it! I don't think confetti or cupcakes work on fire!"

Spike looked around and saw no other option. "Sorry about this Celestia." Taking a deep breath, he exhaled his green flame over the pile of burning books and ash, and they disappeared in a puff of smoke. The fire was effectively put out, or at least it was Celestia's problem now.

Peeling herself off the door, Twilight stumbled around as the room stopped spinning. "Ow Spike, you really should stop doing that."

"Twilight, what happened?" Spike ran over to make sure she was ok. "How'd the books get on fire?"

"That's easy Spike, look, matches!" Pinkie held up a small cardboard box for all to see.

"Yeah Spike, I was organizing and those books didn't fit. I had to get rid of them. I just forgot the whole floor was wood." Twilight rubbed a hoof behind her head and tried to grin.

"That's craz—um. That's not normal." Spike glanced to Pinkie for backup.

"Well, they're certainly not alphabetical but they sure are pretty! Look Spike they're arranged by size and color!"

"Exactly Pinkie! Don't they look much better this way?" Twilight glanced to Spike. "Aren't they better?"

"Um. . . not really Twi, what if you needed to find Daring Do? There is no more fiction section, not even a section for the letter D."

"Well. . . I don't know, I think they'd be over there with the green books."

"I know what you need, we should go bake some cupcakes!" Pinkie grabbed Twilight and headed for the door.

"Wait Pinkie! That's your answer for everything!" Spike sighed as the mares disappeared. He felt a sudden fullness in his stomach, and a desire to burp. Before he knew it, he had breathed a letter into existence from Celestia.

"Aww man." Spike banged his head against the wall a few times. After he was sufficiently relieved of stress and brain cells, he opened the letter.

Dear Spike,

I do hope everything is alright, and you would tell me if it isn't. I just had a pile of flaming books materialize in the middle of the throne room. Please contact me if Twilight needs any help that would not risk spreading her disease to myself or others.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

"Slow down Pinkie, I don't like it out here. It's too random." Twilight was running along on three hooves as Pinkie held a forelimb hostage. She was most likely dragging her to Sugarcube Corner.

"But random is fun Twilight. Why would you want to know where everything is and what's going to happen next?"

"Because it makes me feel safe?" Twilight continued jogging to keep up with the her friend. She hardly noticed the odd looks several ponies were giving them.

"Silly, this is Ponyville. We are always safe, except for the time with Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, and Sombra. Oh and the parasites, and the ursa minor, and maybe a little bit that one time the cutie mark crusaders tried to get demolition cutie marks."

"Wait what? How is any of that safe?"

"We're here!" Pinkie threw open the door to Sugarcube corner and pushed Twilight inside. "We're going to bake cupcakes and I'm going to teach you to be messy!"

"Really Pinkie, I insist—" Twilight tried to wiggle her way out of Pinkie's grasp and run for the door. Before reaching it, she had been fastened into a cooking apron that was covered in flour. Pinkie then slammed a chef's hat on top of her head. Sighing, she turned to Pinkie. "Looks like I'm going to be here for a while. What's first?"

"Well first we need a bowl to mix everything in. You can get one out of that cupboard."

Twilight walked over and opened up the cupboard, barely dodging a falling bowl. Stacks of bowls, cups, mixers, spoons, and cupcake trays teetered on the shelving. "Pinkie! How can you find anything in this mess?" Twilight started to pull a bowl out to begin organizing. She decided to play along and bake cupcakes, and in the meantime she could clean up this mess.

"Nope Twilight, we already got our bowl!" Pinkie held up the bowl that had fallen and closed the doors. "It's more fun this way! Everything we need is in one spot and you never know which one you'll get next!"

"This all makes no sense, but fine. What's next?" Twilight walked to the table to see what new form of torment awaited her.

"Now we crack the eggs." Pinkie smashed two eggs together over the bowl, causing the yolks to fall in perfectly. "Now you try."

Twilight held an egg with both hooves, trying to crack it without messing up. It finally caved under the pressure of her hooves, spraying bits of shell into the mix. "Horse apples. I guess we should start over." She stuck her hoof in to try to get some of the bits of shell out to no avail.

"Nah, those are tiny. Look out below!" Pinkie poured the flour in, coating both mares in a fine white dust.

Coughing from the inhaled flower, Twilight squinted her eyes to see through the dust. "Really Pinkie? Let's slow down some, I think you're making this mess on purpose."

"Of course I am. It's much more fun!" Pinkie smiled, and was rewarded by Twilight grinning. "See? Much better than being clean and organized. Why don't you go get some sprinkles while I finish this and pour it in the mold. There should be some cupcakes coming out of the oven very soon."

Twilight headed over to the cabinet indicated by Pinkie's outstretched hoof. Inside was a rainbow of sprinkles of every shape, from plain to alicorn shaped. Twilight found herself re-organizing them before she knew it.

"Come on Twilight, just pick one!" Pinkie was up on a counter putting icing on some cupcakes.

"Just a second Pinkie." Twilight slid the green sprinkles in between the yellow and blue sprinkles.

"Hurry up, there are customers waiting. Just grab one and pour it on!"

Twilight grabbed the nearest bottle of sprinkles and headed back over to the cupcakes. "Wait Pinkie, you didn't even put the same amount of frosting on them all. Somepony will think they didn't get as much frosting as another pony and they could get upset."

"That's fine, Twilight, who doesn't like getting a little extra frosting? Now sprinkle away, and don't you dare try and count them!"

Twilight nearly giggled before catching herself; she refused to give in to this madness. Her best bet was to play along for now. She began shaking haphazardly over the cupcakes, showering the counter, tray, and cupcakes with apple shaped sprinkles. She had just finished when she realized Pinkie was eating the rest of the frosting straight out of the tube. "Um Pinkie, are we done yet?"

Pinkie gulped down the last bit of sugary goodness that was the vanilla frosting. "Not yet, now you get to give them to the customers waiting in the dining area." Pinkie shoved the tray onto Twilight's back and pointed her out of the kitchen.

"But I'm a mess, the whole kitchen is a mess! I'm not going out there." Twilight backed up and planted her hooves, but the earth pony was much stronger than her. "Fine, I'm going." Maybe nopony would recognize her with all the frosting, sprinkles, and flour in her mane.

Twilight walked towards the dining area wondering what sin she had committed to deserve this. All she wanted to do was organize the books, take a nap, and study in peace. Rounding the corner, she saw several mares and fillies waiting for their cupcakes. They all smiled and began cheering as the tray of cupcakes got closer.

"Thanks Ms. Twilight. Those cupcakes look delicious!" Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Scootaloo grabbed the cupcakes before she had finished sliding them onto the table. Before she knew it, Twilight was smiling too. Everyone in the room seemed happy for something as simple as cupcakes. No pony seemed to care that she was covered head to hoof in cupcake ingredients.

Returning to the kitchen she saw Pinkie decorating another batch of sweets. "Thanks Pinkie that was kind of fun, so let's clean up and organize this disaster zone now."

"Not yet. Haven't you learned anything? You wouldn't have had any fun if you had been cleaning and organizing this whole time. Sometimes it's better to just wait and only clean once at the end of the day. That way you can keep having fun; here are some more cupcakes for you!" Pinkie tossed a tray over to Twilight, who barely caught it on her back. The sound of more customers entering the dining area reached her ears. All the ponies in town knew how much Pinkie loved to give out free samples.

Twilight continued her efforts to clean and organize the kitchen. Every time Pinkie looked away, she would quickly slide something into it’s proper place. As soon as a drawer of utensils was starting to look organized, Pinkie would scatter them all over a counter.

Sneaking back into the kitchen after delivering a tray of cupcakes was her best chance. Twilight was able to completely organize the sprinkles without her friend noticing. On her next trip back she would start organizing the frosting.

A horrible sight came into view as she rounded the corner. “Pinkie stop!” Twilight rushed her friend who was pouring all the sprinkles into the party cannon. Only halfway there, the cannon erupted, scattering the toppings over a dozen trays of cupcakes. Twilight tackled Pinkie and quickly scrambled back to her hooves. Grabbing as many bottles of sprinkles as a pony could, she shoved them back in the cabinet.

“I thought I told you, Twilight. No. More. Organizing.” Pinkie leapt at her, sliding under her and knocking several of the bottles over.

As black and purple sprinkles rained on the floor, Twilight rushed to climb up the counter. Pulling the cabinet doors open caused an avalanche of bowls and trays to land on her. Quickly picking them all up, she slotted them back in the cabinet in an organized fashion. Right as she was about to finish, her tail was pulled tightly and Twilight landed on her back.

Without missing a beat, she rolled over as Pinkie pounced. “No! You’re ruining everything Pinkie!” Twilight charged the pantry door. I can't take it anymore, she thought. I'll just lock the door and organize the pantry before she can get in. Nearly halfway there, Twilight felt a mare landing on her back. The pair tumbled head over hoof into the wall.

Twilight lay on the ground, pinned by Pinkie. She saw an eerie smile, evoking a deep fear in the core of her being. Her heart began to palpitate as Pinkie grinned. Her friend leaned down over her, opening her mouth wide. Paralyzed on the ground, Twilight’s eyes opened wide as a shiver ran down the length of her spine. The open mouth got closer, and closer. A long pink tongue reached out. Twilight’s chest visibly rose with each powerful contraction of the panicked heart. Closing her eyes, she felt a tongue lick the side of her cheek.

“Yum, chocolate!” Pinkie leapt off Twilight and headed back over to the oven.

Adrenaline saturated every muscle of her body. Slowly raising a hoof to her cheek, she could feel where the frosting had been licked off. Feeling returned to her limbs as the tunnel vision ended. The sounds of laughter and trays clattering began to reach her ears again. Twilight sat up slowly, her eyes still darting around for impending danger.

All she had wanted was to organize a little. Now every fiber of her being begged her not to disobey Pinkie again.

The two mares continued baking for the rest of the day. Twilight obediently baked and trashed the kitchen, covering every surface in dirty trays and utensils. By the time the sun set, Twilight thought she was covered in enough batter to make a lovely cupcake, and her mane was more frosting and sprinkle than hair. The duo began stacking cookware on the counters.

"Thanks Twilight, I had so much fun." Pinkie tossed the last dirty bowl into the sink, and hugged her friend. "I'm so glad you came and made cupcakes with me."

"You're welcome." Twilight put her foreleg over Pinkie's shoulder. "I actually forgot about my illness. It feels so good to not worry all the time."

"Of course it does. Lots of ponies worry about things they can't control. The secret is to fix what you can fix, and stop worrying about what you can’t."

"I'd like that Pinkie," she chuckled. "I'd like that a lot."

"Anytime, that's what friends are for." Pulling out the final cupcake, she tossed it in the air and caught it in her mouth.

"Pinkie, it's getting dark—can you take me home now?" Twilight looked out the window at the moon which was barely shining tonight. The fact that she couldn't see the maze of houses did not make it any less intimidating.

"Huh, don't you want to walk back by yourself while I clean?"

"Oh no, I'll just stay here then and help clean." Twilight grinned and pulled off her apron.

"Twilight are you. . ." Pinkie gasped loudly and jumped in the air. "You're scared of the dark!"

"What? No don't be ridiculous." Twilight cowered and looked around nervously, before whispering. "I'm afraid of going outside."

"Oh, well I don't have a song for that yet, but I'll make one for you! For now just try laughing at it. Maybe I can think of a song while I walk you home."

"Thanks, I’d like that. Just be sure to stay close to me."

With Pinkie by her side, Twilight left Sugarcube corner and headed to her library home. Had anypony still been outside to see them, it would have been quite a sight. They looked like ghosts from all the flour, and probably smelt like icing from a block away. Pinkie hummed to herself and occasionally mumbled a few rhyming words. Twilight focused on staying close to her friend and scanning the alleyways. The duo reached the library without incident, opening the door to walk inside.

"Spike, we're home!" Twilight closed the door behind her. Spike walked around the corner and saw the two mares, instantly spitting out the gem he had been chewing on.

He fell to the floor clutching his sides and laughing. "What—What happened? You look—like a—walking cupcake!" Spike got to his feet as the laughter subsided.

"Pinkie was just teaching me it could be fun to be messy. Also, I think I should take a shower before this becomes permanent."

"Well unless you need anything else Twilight, I think I better head home." Pinkie gave her a quick hug.

"Wait, there is one more thing." Twilight shot a nervous glance at Pinkie. "Now that I look at it, I don't like the library this way anymore. Will you help me mess it up a little?"

Pinkie's eyes lit up and she smiled widely. "I'd love to! This is going to be the most fun thing I did this week!"

"No Wait!" Spike chased the mares around as they began knocking down the books. The two mares laughed as they sowed chaos through the library, until finally the mess was complete.

Pinkie exhaled loudly, drooping her tired shoulders. “Alright then Twilight call if you need anything!" Pinkie went out the door and headed home.

Spike slouched and stared down at the ground. "Great, now it's just the two of us to clean this up." Spike headed to find a broom, and rubbed his aching head.

"That's alright Spike, we'll leave it like this for a while. If we spend all our time organizing we'll never get to have fun." Twilight pranced around the library kicking at stray books.

A chill ran down Spike’s spine and he stared at Twilight for a minute. "Are you sure it's you under there and not Pinkie?"

“Yes Spike, and could you find some medical books for me while I shower? They should be over there." Twilight swept her hoof out in the direction of the frosting-stained piles of literature. A trail of icing footprints followed her as she walked upstairs to the shower.

Spike groaned, dragging his weary feet towards the first mound of paperbacks. "I miss the old days when it was Discord and Rainbow Dash messing up the library." He began to dig through the piles of books. "At least she doesn't want me to clean up this mess tonight."

Twisting the knob cut off the flow of hot water. Stepping out of the shower, Twilight dried off her mane. The towel absorbed most of the moisture from her fur. Her mind wandered to the room Pinkie had built. Curious to make sure it was still there, she headed to the old closet. Opening the door and flicking the light switch illuminated the hastily built sanctuary. It certainly would be darker and more comfortable to sleep in. With the lowered odds of being interrupted, there would be more time to focus on her studies.

"Here you go Twilight, some books to read." Spike shoved them onto the shelving in her room. He turned and took a look around the small bedroom. "I don't know why Pinkie insisted on building a room, but it looks nice."

Twilight fell into a familiar routine of straightening out parchment on the desk and adjusting the bed sheets. "It just feels right, and I could really use a good night's sleep." Collapsing and expanding the pillow brought it to just the right amount of fluffiness.

Spike lifted his claws up above his head, stretching towards the ceiling. "Well if you need anything I'll be upstairs taking a bath. Oh, and you need to write Celestia an apology for the incident earlier." Rubbing his eyes, he walked out of the room.

Twilight closed the door and fell back onto the bed. This was the first time today she was alone with her thoughts. She had spent half the day organizing and nearly burning down the library, and spent the other half destroying the Cake's kitchen. In retrospect, the book burning did seem a bit rash; she could have easily destroyed a book that could help her out of this mess. Now that she had relaxed a little, the memory of the nightmare the previous night came back to the forefront of her mind. It had been mostly nonsense, and yet she couldn't shake the feeling she had heard Applejack. And the Pinkie from the dream was clearly not her Pinkie. Even the insane Pinkie was much more easygoing and happy then the one in the nightmare.

Given the choice between trusting Zecora's diagnosis, and figuring it out for herself, the choice was obvious. With sufficient time and an entire library at her disposal, an answer had to be out there. Stifling a yawn, Twilight grabbed a few of the books Spike had brought in. Opening up a leather-bound tome on magical illness in unicorns revealed a thorough table of contents. Heading forward to a chapter on magical surges, she remembered what Celestia had said at the entrance exam. "You cannot control your magic—it flows wildly."

The Princesses words had cut her deeper than any sword could that day. She lived her life to prove her wrong, to prove she could do more than just point her horn and unleash a maelstrom of magic. The book briefly described wild magic as "Any surge of magical energies beyond a unicorn's ability to control." It went on to list diseases from "Horn Flu" to "Bovine Encephalitis" as causes of uncontrollable magic.

The boundary between memories was growing frail. Recalling the entrance exam from over a decade ago, she was no longer sure what really happened. Twilight remembered hatching Spike, and failing. Both parents had been turned into potted plants, and one of the instructors had laughed at her fizzling horn.

Grabbing a book on Medical Diagnostics she scanned the table of contents. Several long sections dealt with memory loss, amnesia, and post-traumatic stress. Flipping through the thick publication, several medical terms stood out to her. Psychogenic fugue, retrograde amnesia, and Korsakoff's syndrome. Twilight had never heard of these and was about to give up on her search when a sentence caught her attention. "Source amnesia is the inability to remember where or how memories and information were acquired." She continued reading but discovered no magical cure that could help her sort out her memories.

The book slammed closed as the frustrated mare stood up and hit the light switch. The thin sheets were easy to slide into, and Twilight was alone with her thoughts. They raced through her mind, fighting for her attention and preventing her from sleeping.

Twilight needed to bounce ideas off of somepony. She considered the implications of talking to a mysterious voice in her head. "Well, what have I got to lose?"

"Your sanity."

"Huh?"

"You asked what you have to lose, if you keep talking to me you'll lose your sanity."

"I don't suppose you have any useful thoughts about this situation?"

A shrill cackling filled her ears. "Now you want my advice? Name one time in your life you did not fail."

"I overcame my depression. I'll overcome this too whether or not you want to be helpful for a change."

"Stop deluding yourself. It was the Sertraline that cured your depression. If they made big enough pills they could probably cure your daddy issues."

Taking a deep breath barely managed to control her rage. "The divorce was not my fault. Now, how come you seem to remember my past more clearly than I do?"

"Was the answer not in your precious books? I remember the past because I'm a part of your subconscious. You would be amazed at the amount of information the brain stores away beyond the reach of consciousness. I know us far better than you could hope to."

Pondering the situation, an idea occurred that might allow her access to the repressed memories. "Could you. . . Can you show me?"

There was a long silence, and for a moment Twilight thought the voice had left.
"What? You've never asked that before."

"So can you?"

Malicious laughter filled the small room. "Of course I can, but are you sure you'll like what you see?

Twilight glanced around while considering if the nagging voice could be trusted. "If this is all real, then I have to explore every angle and figure out a way to cure this disease."

"And if I'm right and you're delusional, what good will any of it do?"

Twilight smiled. "If I'm delusional, it's not like I could hurt myself. You know that you love to make me doubt myself, why not show me for once instead of telling me why I'm a failure." Twilight thought she could hear the voice laughing again in her mind, but it did not reply back to her.

The silence stretched into minutes, and soon she was drifting off to sleep. Her body had relaxed completely, and her mind had grown still. As the deep breaths began to slow down, Twilight heard the voice call out to her. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." Twilight began to enter a state of trance, losing the feeling of her limbs. As her mind shut itself off from the outside world, she began to hear voices and see fleeting images.

"It is mornin' all ready?" Twilight could hear somepony cracking their joints as they stretched.

"Do you like what I've done with the place?" Memories floated through the darkness as images and stray words. Floating weightlessly, she searched the void for the source of the voice that had been taunting her.

"So what exactly are you?"

"I like to think of myself as your better half, the honest half. All the guilt and anger you bury in your subconscious, the pain of every loss you suffer. You're too weak to deal with them, so you shove them off on me.”

"Go on, get some rest. If there is any change we'll let you know." The faint sound of hooves, and the closing of a door were heard.

Twilight was intrigued by the other voices she was hearing, but the task at hoof was to determine more about the voice. "So you're my sub-conscious?"

"Haven't you been listening? No, but I live there. I'm the one that gets to deal with your negative emotions. I'm the one growing stronger the weaker you get. Pretty soon, I will take control of your body."

"That's not possible! I'm in control here, not you."

"Is that so? Then go ahead, wake up. Wake up before I consume you."

Twilight could feel something pulling her deeper into the darkness. She looked around frantically for something to hang onto. Distant memories shimmered and long forgotten conversations were being whispered. Desperately flailing her imaginary legs was useless as she sank further into the darkness

"It's been so long since we got to spend time together. Now that you're off your meds, I want to play a game. . ."

IV. The Game

Twilight awoke in a prison. She lay on a cold, marble four-poster bed. The unicorn slid out from underneath a sheet and examined the room. It was almost offensively white, each surface polished to a glimmer. Above her, a single light illuminated the miserable space. The only object of interest was the faint outline of what appeared to be a stone door. Twilight took a few steps forward as she investigated the space. The lonely clatter of her hoofsteps added to her growing sense of paranoia and claustrophobia.

She spoke, hoping the voice would hear her. "Wow, this is getting really old. I assume you have sent me here to mess with me again."

"Do you even know where here is? You asked to see your memories, they're all around you. Good luck sorting them out."

"And the game?" Twilight slowly approached the door, wary of what was on the other side.

"It's a simple game. When you find me, I shall ask you one question. If you get it right, I will answer one of your questions honestly. If you get it wrong, you'll stay here with me."

Twilight took a moment to contemplate the rules. Can this voice really trap me here? I suppose I first need to figure out where here is. "Alright, I accept."

Small cracks formed in the door as golden light shone through. One letter at a time, a simple word quickly blazed into existence: Ingressus. The loud rumble of stone grating against stone filled the room as the heavy door slid into the floor.

Beyond the new entryway was an atrium lit by beams of sunlight. Twilight stepped through the doorway and looked up, shielding her eyes. It was impossible to make out the sun, or the windows overhead. The light blanketed the atrium evenly from every angle. It was blinding.

Returning her gaze to the ground gave her watery eyes a respite. A deep purple rug covered the floor of the atrium. Adorning its edges was gold trim that ran along the featureless white walls. Twilight advanced into the middle of the room, dwarfed by eight marble pillars. Four adorned each side of the square atrium, fading as they rose into the light.

The loud sound of stone grinding on stone snapped Twilight out of her reverie. The door behind her slid back into position. The seams of the opening slowly melted into the wall until no sign of the door remained.

"Don't spend too much time admiring the scenery."

She approached the pillars on her right. They cast no shadow, and between each of them were identical doors. Twilight wandered past each door and watched as familiar golden lettering formed. The first portal had Timidus engraved on it. The next she passed formed Memoria. The third door refused to form a word. She raised an eyebrow and put a hoof against the sealed entryway. The seams vanished into the wall like the earlier door had.

Eerie laughter rang off the sides of the room. "Trust me, you wouldn't like what is in that room."

"It's not like you left me with a choice." Twilight returned to the second door. "Memoria is Latin for memory, so I'll start here."

"I was hoping you would; you'll love what you did with the place."

Twilight approached the door and touched it with a hoof. She stepped back as the door began to glow brighter than the sun. Closing her eyes did not stop the yellow light from saturating her vision. The light quickly faded, and she opened her eyes to find herself in a different room.

Stale, dusty air filled her nostrils causing her to cough. Every wall of this space was lined with books stacked haphazardly on mahogany shelves. Parchment and scrolls were scattered across the floor, torn and weathered from the passage of time. Filing cabinets and mounds of neglected tomes formed a mountain range through the center of the obliterated library. Singed literature sprinkled around the room gave a faint smell of smoke to the air. Amongst the dust and debris rested a purple ledger with a blue stripe on the binding. This book had no dust on it, so Twilight picked it up to examine it.

Memories of friends - F1

Pinkie Pie – F1.001

Applejack – F1.002

Rainbow Dash – F1.003

The list went on to cover the entire layout of memories stored in the library. Several pages were missing, and nothing on the directory was of particular interest.

A shadow was cast across the room as something scurried across the wooden floor. Twilight's ears tracked the echoes, and her head soon turned towards its source. By the time her eyes reached the far corner of the room, there was silence in the library.

"Hello? Is anypony there?" Twilight carefully crossed the room to investigate the sound. The pile of books shifted as she scrambled over them. Making her way past a splintered bookshelf revealed a hallway out of the room. This was the only exit from the room, so she stepped through.

The next segment of the repository was in slightly better condition. Fewer pieces of parchment littered the floor, and most of the furniture remained intact. A few beams of sunlight fell upon the ground from high in the rafters. Towers of books and empty shelves gave her the impression the room was in the process of being cleaned up. Twilight walked up to a filing cabinet and pulled out a scroll.

Morning of the Entrance Exam:

Shining Armor knelt down to meet your eyes. "Good luck, Twiley. Make me proud."

You leapt up to hug him. "Thanks, BBBFF. I will!" Releasing your brother, you headed back inside to find your parents.

"Mom, dad, hurry up! If I'm late to the exam they might not let me take it at all!" After fidgeting with your saddlebags for a few minutes, your parents finally head down the stairs from the second floor.

"Alright Twilight, let's go get you into the school for gifted unicorns." Your mom and dad smiled, and together you headed towards the castle.

"This is one of my memories, which means the rest of the files in here are too. You destroyed these rooms, didn't you?" Twilight slammed a hoof on the ground at the realization. "I can't remember what is real and what's fake because you destroyed it!"

"I'm just a tenant here. You should blame the landlord. She's reckless and irresponsible; she chases unrealistic hopes and dreams."

"And that justifies defiling a library? You can't just destroy my memories like this."

"I get the distinct feeling you're not listening to me. Go ahead and tear up that piece of parchment. Once you have, you'll realize that I'm telling the truth. I can't destroy your memories, only you can."

Twilight gazed down at the dried yellow slip on which a brief memory was recorded. If the voice was telling the truth, tearing it up would erase the memory. If her memories were so easily destroyed, perhaps a manifestation of her illness had done all this.

Slowly ripping the parchment in two brought a tear to Twilight's eye. Bits of the dialogue faded from her memory. Stacking the two halves on top of each other, she tore them into four pieces. The image of her parents walking her out the door faded. Twilight looked down at the paper just as a teardrop landed on it. With a deep breath, she quickly tore it into as many pieces as she could. A cold feeling filled her mind as Shining Armor's smile and the rest of the memory vanished.

Twilight looked at the bits of paper in her hooves. "What was I doing? I'm not going to find anything useful on tattered bits of paper." She dropped the torn parchment and continued forward. "There are plenty of them still intact."

A deep laughter reverberated off the walls as she approached the next filing cabinet. It was labeled "Celestia's school for gifted unicorns." Pulling the drawer open, she flipped through files until she found one titled "My new room."

First day in the castle, new bedroom:

"This will be your new room. I have asked your parents, and they have agreed to let you live here with me as my protégé." Celestia stood aside to let you enter the room.

As you raced in, you noticed that the room was larger than your house. A golden bed with thick sheets took up half of a wall. Large dressers and empty shelves waiting to be filled adorned the rest of the bedroom. Across the room you saw a balcony, and couldn't resist running over to it. As you burst out onto the balcony, you took in Canterlot from hundreds of feet in the air.

"It's amazing. . . Celestia, the city looks so beautiful from up here!" You turn around to face your mentor with a smile on your face.

"Thank you. It was built over many decades as thanks for the defeat of an old foe—perhaps your first assignment can be on the history of Canterlot."

Twilight placed the memory back into the filing cabinet and flipped through the rest of the files. They were all lessons learned in school, triumphs at casting spells, and even her graduation. Eventually she reached a filing cabinet about moving to Ponyville.

"How come all these memories are intact? What was on the destroyed ones?"

"Perhaps if you win the game, I will tell you."

"And can any of the destroyed memories be brought back?"

"One question, Twilight."

Twilight bent over to the lower drawer of a filing cabinet when she heard the distinct scurrying sound of hooves running across the floor. Her head shot up more quickly this time, tracking the object and catching a glimpse. A black shadow barely a few feet high skittered behind a table. She quickly trotted over to the table and looked under it, seeing the shadow dart out and weave through nearby cabinets.

"You can come out. I'm not going to hurt you." Beside the table were tall filing cabinets forming a hallway through the abandoned library. There was no quick way for Twilight to get around the table and reach the other figure. Frustration filled her as she tried to squeeze under the table, wishing it would just get out of her way. Her magic misfired at the thought, and a purple glow surrounded the table. It had levitated ten feet into the air before she realized it. Panicking about losing control of her magic, she promptly dropped it. The legs shattered from under the table.

Reflecting on the levitation spell, Twilight realized there was no pain nor fluctuation in the flow of arcane energy to her horn. Since the normal laws of magic did not seem to apply here, she was confident that her magic could be controlled. With renewed confidence, she levitated a filing cabinet out of her way. Twilight soon had six filing cabinets in front of her floating high in the air. A wide grin spread across her face at the ease with which she was casting spells. Seeing no place to set the filing cabinets down, she flung them into the distance. A wave of cold flowed over her mind, interrupting her victory.

"I'd be careful what you throw around down there."

"I can use magic here, and I can control it! I'll do whatever I feel like doing." Twilight ran forward and used her magic to clear a path through the debris.

The black shadow sprinted and dove through a doorway. The door quickly rose, blocking Twilight's path. Her horn glowed purple as she tried to force the door open, yet nothing happened. Green light shone through cracks in the door, forming the word Appetitio.

"I'm afraid that isn't your room. Neither you nor I could enter it if she didn't want us to."

"Who is she?" Twilight roamed along the wall looking for another exit from the room.

"What part of 'one question' do you not understand?"

"The core concept." Twilight tilted her head, waiting for the voice to retort. After a few seconds she heard faint laughter.

"Clever pony. I wish you were this entertaining all the time. The exit you seek is ahead."

True to its word, two doors were lined up on the wooden paneling ahead. Twilight looked back into the library one last time. There were so many events from her life stored here. Just a couple hours and she would be able to deduce what was in the destroyed room. Her memories were laid out here before her; all she had to do was stick around until the answers revealed themselves.

Something deep inside brought her focus back to the doors in front of her. Twilight was not meant to be in this room, not like this. She would come back and sort through her memories after defeating her nemesis. The contents of the rooms were fragile, and would take time to organize.

Approaching the doors caused a familiar process to begin. Scanning the doors revealed two paths ahead: Acceptio, Noxius. From experience, she deduced the golden lettering was intended for her. Extending a hoof she touched the door and nothing happened. It refused to respond as she continued tapping.

"Looks like you're not ready to go in there. Why don't you try my path?"

The door labeled Noxius vanished into scarlet smoke that rose towards the ceiling. Beyond it was a black void, and the glow of her horn did not help. Slowly, she stepped through the blanket of darkness and found herself back in Canterlot.

A stallion strode through the front door, slamming it behind him. "Enough is enough! She needs more help than we can give her!"

A mare wiped a tear from her cheek as she addressed her husband. "Please, Midnight, she's our daughter. We can't just send her off to a hospital!"

"So we should keep her here and just hope she stops trying to get back into Celestia's school? She just shattered Shining's femur! Her own brother is in the hospital now with over a liter of blood pooling in his leg. The doctors don't know if they can get the swelling down before they have to amputate!"

"It was an accident. She loves us and we love her. We can't throw our daughter out, and that's final!"

"I'm tired of arguing with you. I've already talked with the court. They say she can be admitted to an asylum with only one parent's approval, due to the 'violent' nature her spells have taken as of late."

"You wouldn't dare! Celestia help me, if you try to commit her you'll never see me again!"

"Is that supposed to be a threat, or an invitation? You've brought nothing but trouble to my life since that whelp was born. If I never see either of you again, it'd be too soon!"

"Midnight. . ."

"Shove it. I'm admitting her, and that's final. You might as well start packing up your things. I don't want to see either of you again."

The visions faded, replaced by the well-lit atrium. Twilight found herself lying on her side, crying.

"Tell me, do you ever feel guilt for your actions? Have you ever once stopped to admit you did something wrong? Let me answer that one free for you. No. You never accept responsibility. You hide in your fantasies and ignore me."

"No—" Twilight curled up into a tight ball and began weeping. "Please no—no more, you win—I don't want those memories anymore." She tried to take a deep breath between sobs. "If that is my real life—then I quit. Go ahead, end this."

Twilight lay there unaware of the passage of time. Guilt and tears flowed freely from her as the vivid images continued to swim through her head. Her parents had divorced, and she had been admitted. The voice had told her that she was a failure, and it was correct.

"Twilight?" A young cheerful voice caused her to uncurl and look around. She felt a small hoof rub her back. "Are you ok?"

"Who are you?" She wiped her tears off and sat up. Before her sat a young filly, a perfect replica of the filly she had been when applying to Celestia’s school.

"I'm you. . . or at least a part of you. I suppose you can call me Sparkle, if it makes it less confusing." The child smiled, melting away the sorrow from Twilight.

"Sparkle? Do you know who the voice is, or who was running away from me?"

"Well. . . I was the one running from you. I thought you were her, or worse—I don't wanna talk about it." She trembled slightly as she answered Twilight.

"Okay, then can you help me? I'm lost and I think I'm in my own mind somehow. I asked her to bring me here. My memories are damaged, and I need your help to fix them, Sparkle."

"Oh, I'm not sure I can. . . but I can help you get out. If you protect me from her, I'll help you escape."

"Well, well, well, what have we here? This changes the game. 'Sparkle,' aren't you going to introduce me to your guest?"

The bright light that was flooding the atrium began to dim, turning a deep purple and fading to black. The pillars twisted and the walls began to ooze ink. Words of hatred and anger coalesced on the marble surfaces. The carpet began to smolder, turning into ash. Twilight felt the heat rising and smelled sulfur in the air.

"I do love to make a good entrance."

Something was stepping out of the shadows in front of her. It had the shape of a pony, but before she could examine it further she felt tugging on her leg.

"Twilight! Come on we have to run! Follow me!" Sparkle ran ahead towards an empty spot between two columns.

As the pair neared the wall, green letters burst forth. The word Spero cast a brilliant emerald light into the darkness. The ink running down the nearby surfaces was repelled by it as the door swung open. Twilight risked a glance back to see a furious unicorn, highlighted by the green glow, charging them.

"Twilight!" The filly yanked her leg and the pair tumbled through the door.

"Fools! You cannot hide from me forever!

The door closed and the room lit up. Twilight could hear something hammering at the barricade from the other side. The wall was vibrating from the concussive blasts being thrown at it from the other side. The door sealed shut completely, turning into a featureless barricade. Profanities and shouts of rage were slowly muffled as the wall ceased shaking.

"Are you okay?"

Twilight turned to face Sparkle. "Thank you. What was that?"

"That was. . . it was her." She looked back towards the wall as it slowly disappeared.

The two ponies followed a dirt road up the side of a hill. The chirping of birds filled the crisp, clean air. Waves rolled through the grass as a gentle breeze passed through it. There was not a single cloud in the vast, blue sky. Feelings of euphoria and peace came over her, easing the pain of recent events. Ahead of them was Sweet Apple Acres.

"Sparkle, we're in Ponyville?"

"No, it's a memory of Ponyville. I never let her in here. Even—" Sparkle glanced over towards the Everfree Forest. Her tail tucked down between her legs and her ears flattened against her head.

"What's wrong? You look terrified." Twilight pulled her gently against her side.

"I tried to tell her—I saw something, something that shouldn't have been able to get in here. It has always been the two of us. Me, and her. She didn't believe me when I told her I saw another, one who could go anywhere it wanted." The filly looked up into Twilight's eyes. "When I followed it to the library, I thought it was you."

"Don't be scared, you're safe with me. Do you think it destroyed the library?"

"I don't know. I never really cared about remembering lots of stuff. I just like my memories, the ones where we are happy."

"Well, whatever it is, I won't just leave you in here with it and her. Having one of those monsters bouncing around in my mind is bad enough."

"You mean it?" Sparkle looked up at her with wide eyes and a smile. "—But I can't come with you." The filly returned her eyes to the ground.

Twilight hugged her gently. "Then I need you to take me to her. I'll beat the voice at her game; I'll prove to her that the monster you saw in the Everfree is real. I'll make sure you're safe when I leave here."

Sparkle returned her gaze to Twilight and hugged her. "Thank you. You've always been so kind to me. You always want to keep me happy, but the—the voice just makes me sad. She always tells me I'm not allowed to do things."

"Well, I think visiting Applejack and having some apple pie would cheer you up."

"Yeah! Let's do it!" Sparkle sprinted towards the Apple's home.

Twilight struggled to keep up as the pair ran through the apple orchard. Everything was exactly as she remembered it. Wicker baskets sat beneath the rows of trees. A short wooden fence divided the segments of the farm. Ahead were the large red barn and the home of the Apple family. Applejack, Applebloom, Big Mac, and Granny Smith were already setting food out at an outdoor table. It was as if they were expecting Twilight and Sparkle to arrive.

"Howdy, Twilight, Twilight—" Applejack glanced back at the adult Twilight. "Uh, since when are there two of ya?"

"Hi, AJ! This is Twilight. She is just visiting me and looking for some lost memories. You can call me Sparkle. It's less confusing."

"Well ah reckon stranger things have happened in Ponyville. So you must be the mare in charge, huh?"

"Hi, and I guess I am. I mean, if I'm right on my assumption that I'm in my own mind and not just inhaling paint fumes from the room Pinkie recently built me. . ." Twilight tried to remember if the paint had still been wet, but decided it didn't matter. She had a good idea what the voice was and what it wanted. The game would end soon enough.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Applejack waved to the empty spots on the bench.

"Well, we're kind of in a hurry."

"Please, Twilight!" Sparkle looked up at her with misty eyes and a fake frown.

"Oh all right." Twilight sat down and immediately grabbed an apple fritter. She tossed it in her mouth and spit it back out. "Ouch, that's hot!"

The ponies laughed at her. "Of course it is, honey, ya gotta let 'em cool first." Granny Smith sat at the far end of the table, slowly cutting up her own fritter.

"So, you spend a lot of time here, Sparkle?"

"Yep. This is my favorite place to go, especially after the voice is mean and tells me I can't have any fun." She poked at her slice of apple pie with a fork and glanced down.

"Well, as long as you're happy, I guess it doesn't matter if none of this is real—" Twilight hadn't meant to be so harsh and quickly added, "I mean, if it's a memory."

"It's real to me! I don't get to leave like you do, I live here, and so does the voice!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say the things here weren't real. . . it's just all so confusing. My memories are mixing together until I can't tell them apart from delusions. The harder I try to prove I'm sane, the crazier the situations I end up in."

"Maybe you can make your own reality, like me!" Sparkle hopped onto the bench and waved her hooves around at the orchard.

Twilight let out a soft laugh before responding. "You can't just make reality. There's only one reality and I need to figure out which one it is."

"Perception is reality." Big Mac looked up from his food at Twilight.

"Huh?" Twilight lifted an eyebrow and looked at Big Mac.

"You're making the classic mistake of assuming reality is something tangible and objective. It is, in fact, a completely subjective construct of our perceptions."

"Alright, first, when did you start talking so much, and second, when did you get so smart?"

"Twilight, that's not a very nice thing to say. Big Mac is just humble." Sparkle crossed her forelegs and glared at her. "He's like my big brother."

Twilight sat there trying to figure out whether her memories of Big Mac were wrong, or if this little filly was just re-writing them for her own entertainment. "Alright, I'm sorry. Please continue, Big Mac."

"Let's assume for a moment Celestia could preserve somepony's brain in a magical vat. The brain would be suspended in a nutrient fluid, and the magic would provide it all the electrical impulses it would receive if it were still in the pony. To the pony's brain, it would be impossible to tell if it was in the pony or in the vat."

He took a sip of tea and wiped off his muzzle. "The brain's only way of interacting with the outside world is through those electrical impulses. Perhaps you should stop looking for reality, and instead try to fix your perception of it. Then you'll be able to figure out what is real and what is a figment of your imagination."

Twilight took a moment to close her gaping jaw and formulate a coherent thought. "Um. . . thanks?" She leaned over to Sparkle. "You're sure this is our memory of Big Mac?"

"Why wouldn't it—" The conversation was interrupted by a loud screeching sound. The sky darkened and the images around them started to flicker. Sparkle latched onto Twilight's flank.

Applejack rose from the table. "Ah reckon it's time you get goin', gals."

"Sparkle, is this the thing you found in the Everfree?" The filly nodded her head up and down against her stomach. "And can we fight it?" Sparkle moved her head side to side.

Big Mac and Applejack were walking into the orchard. "Applebloom, take our guests to the cellar."

While her and Sparkle headed towards the cellar, Twilight just looked around in confusion. "I don't get it, why not just stay and fight it? I at least want to see what it is."

"It's not safe! Who knows what will happen if it catches us." Sparkle ran back to Twilight. "Come on!"

"We can't be afraid of some unse—" Twilight was cut off by screaming in the orchard. She imagined it was Applejack, but couldn't quite tell over the booming of trees being uprooted. Big Mac howled in fury. The ground began rumbling. Something flying through the air caught her eye. An orange leg landed a few feet in front of her with an apple cutie mark on it. She stared for a second, then sprinted towards the cellar.

Applebloom had reached the cellar and opened the door. "Hurry, in here!" Sparkle ran down into the cellar, forcing Twilight to follow. The door shut closed behind them, and the two found themselves in a dark, musty basement. The cellar shook and dust fell from the ceiling. Loud booming continued overhead from the orchard.

Twilight was pacing around in circles, shaking from what she had just witnessed. "What in the hay is going on? We need to find a way out of here!"

Sparkle circled in front of her. "Calm down. If we reach the voice, then he can send you back before it catches us."

"How are we supposed to get out of this cellar? We're stuck!" Twilight marched up to the dirt wall and pounded it for emphasis. "Unless we dig our way out."

A lavender light lit the small cellar as a door appeared right where she had tapped the hardened soil. A new word blazed itself onto the wall, Confundo.

"Whoa, I've never seen one like that before." Sparkle shuffled up to it slowly and gazed into the lettering. "I just wish I could read them. It would be so much less confusing."

"It's simple really; it's just a dead language that most modern languages, such as Equestrian, are based on. If you loo—" Twilight's lecture was cut short by the thunderous noise of the barn above them collapsing, knocking loose a few of the cellar's support beams. She hit the door again, causing it to open, and leapt through with Sparkle before the cellar collapsed.

Sparkle stood up slowly and dusted herself off. She noticed the sterility of the environment around her. Worn linoleum tiles ran down the hall beneath grey walls. The doors were labeled by number, and overhead a florescent light flickered. Her eyes followed the corridor over to Twilight, who was looking out a window.

"Twilight, are you okay?"

"Yeah, but where are we now?" Twilight was looking out the window at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie cantered out carrying a box of cupcakes, chatting with Fluttershy the whole time. She turned her head, and looked down a hospital corridor. "I can't be in the hospital and Ponyville at the same time, unless Spike mixed up the sugar and lysergic acid diethylamide again."

"This must be why you're so confused. You can't decide which memories are real, and they're all mixed up."

"Yeah, I guess it's something like that." Twilight advanced to the next window and looked out. This window showed a view of a balcony over Canterlot. A pink sphere surrounded the city as black specks rammed against it.

"If we can find a door back to the lobby, I can take you to her. I think you've been here long enough."

"I think you're right. I never thought I'd end up lost in my own mind." Twilight walked down the hallway towards a common area. "We'll have to pass as many doors as possible, and hope we can find the atrium again."

As they went down the hallway, images of Equestria filled the windows and dozens of words lit up on the doors opposite them. None of them translated to anything useful, and a few seemed to suggest repressed memories were hidden behind them.

"Do you know what word you're looking for?" Sparkle followed along behind her, taking in the many interesting scenes out the window. Images of an underground cave filled with sparkling gems were outside the current window.

"No, but I'll know it when I see it." The pair continued forward in silence, noticing the sound of ponies ahead of them.

Walking around the corner revealed most of the ponies from Ponyville enjoying a casual get-together. In one corner Vinyl was chatting with a pony dressed up like a mummy. Lyra and Octavia were playing a lovely arrangement of classical music. A nurse and two orderlies were pinning Mayor Mare to the ground. The cutie mark crusaders were there, chasing each other around with syringes full of medicine.

Twilight spotted Applejack walking towards her. "AJ, I thought you died back at the farm! I'm glad you're all right."

"What? Twilight, are you feelin' okay?" AJ pulled a stethoscope out of her jacket and tried listen to her lungs.

"Hey! Whatever is wrong, it's not with my lungs. What is everypony doing here?"

"It's the summer sun celebration; we let the patients mingle until lights out."

"Forget mingling, where are the Wonderbolts?" Dash walked out of the crowd, frowning. "I was supposed to be showing Spitfire a sonic rainboom and instead you invite me out to this lame party, Twilight."

"Dash? Is everypony alright?"

"Hmm... well Fluttershy and Rarity are acting weird, Pinkie is being Pinkie, and I think Vinyl is drunk."

"Can you define weird?"

"Well Fluttershy is upset I dragged her out of her cottage. She has never liked parties. I may have implied that dragons were going to migrate over her cottage tonight. And Rarity keeps screaming about germs anytime somepony tries to get near her."

"And Pinkie?"

"Oh she's just playing ten instruments at once. Say, do you want some punch?" Dash pulled a glass of fruit punch out of nowhere.

"No, I'm kind of busy." Twilight started walking away with Sparkle.

"Hold on! I still think I should take a look at you, and you should probably get some rest." Applejack followed behind her, determined to figure out what was going on.

"I don't have time for this, AJ. You're just a stray memory, and I have a game to win!"

"Now see, that right there! I think you're a little stressed."

Twilight turned around and glared daggers at her. "We're in my head, not yours, and I say what happens around here!"

Applejack was about to respond when the lights to the common room shut off. Vapor escaped her lips as she exhaled into the now frigid air. The calm music and conversations vanished. Darkness filled the room like ink and flowed over the floor, ceiling, and walls. The overhead lights shattered one by one as the darkness advanced down the hallway.

"Whoa, calm down, Twilight. Let's not do anything you'll regret!" Applejack backed away slowly from the expanding abyss.

Twilight stared into the darkness, and felt the darkness staring back. "That's not me—we've got to run!"

Applejack glanced back to her. "For once I agree. I don't think this is one of your hallucinations."

The trio turned and fled from the void. Twilight lead them, weaving through the hallways. Any door would make a suitable escape, yet none formed properly. Just as letters would blink into existence, they would sputter and fade back out. The doors began to melt, dripping onto the floor. Walls tilted and teetered overhead, threatening to collapse on them. The hospital was imploding around them at the whim of an unknown entity.

Applejack sped up her legs as years of medical training tried to justify what her eyes were telling her. "If we're in your head, make this stop, Twilight!"

"I wish I could!"

As they rounded another corner, a crack in the floor caused Sparkle to trip. "Twilight!"

"Sparkle!" Twilight turned to go back for her when AJ stopped her.

"Just get out of here!" Applejack dove forward and grabbed the filly, tossing her towards Twilight. When the tide of darkness hit AJ, she vanished without a trace.

Now two ponies remained, sprinting down the hallways. They dodged tiles that floated off the floor. Wiring fell from the ceiling, threatening to entangle them. Finally the pair found a door that hadn't been damaged, and dove towards it. The word Arbiter had barely formed when they collided with it, falling through into the next room.

"Well it's about time. For a moment there I thought you were content to hide with the naive child until you fell into a coma."

Twilight stood up slowly and looked towards the source of the voice. A duplicate of Twilight sat on an ebony throne. Beneath the throne was a statue of a blindfolded pony with a balance scale on her back. A staircase, made of small shelves packed with books, lead up to the throne.

Her gaze turned to the walls and ceiling, which formed a giant dome. An image of her room in the library was broadcast overhead. She could make out the blankets, hear her soft breaths, and even watch as she rolled over in bed.

"You're calling yourself Sparkle now, right? Come here."

The filly began to walk towards the voice. "Sparkle, you don't have to listen to her." Twilight gazed up at the owner of the voice. "I'm going to win the game, and you're going to leave her alone!"

"You may win the game, but none of us will ever exist without the others. No harm has happened to her, nor will it ever. Were it not for me, you probably would have already injured yourself trying to please her every whimsy.

Twilight paused for a moment as she had an epiphany. "You're both metaphors, everything here is. It seems real because I am here now, yet when I'm conscious I can't perceive you."

"You might just win this game after all. Even though you can't perceive us, we still influence every one of your decisions. Now, enough stalling. You will answer my question or forfeit."

The doppelganger descended from her throne and walked forward until she stood inches from Twilight's face.

"What am I?"

Author's Note

Special thanks to ArgonMatrix on editing this one. His thoroughness eliminated the rampant comma splicing, and direct address issues, that slipped past me and my other editor.

VI. All Good Things

Twilight looked around the room for something—anything—else out of the ordinary. She was back in her room, where she belonged—yet somehow the rabbit Angel had come with her. He was sitting on her desk thumping his foot.

“Well, don’t look at me! I was about to accept that Ponyville was real. It’s your fault for tagging along,” Twilight said.

Angel pantomimed and made several noises she couldn’t decipher.

“Okay, I just have to think logically. When a doctor comes to check on me, surely he’ll believe my story. I brought back proof!”

Angel shook his head and made circles around his ear with his paw.

“I’m not crazy! Well. . .I am, but not that kind of crazy,” Twilight explained.

There was a loud knocking on the door, followed by the clinking of keys in the lock. After their visitor had fumbled around for a little while, Applejack walked in and closed the door behind her.

Twilight immediately knew something was off. Her white lab coat seemed wrinkled, and her eyes darted around the room. She shook the thoughts from her head.

“Doctor Applejack! Am I gla—”

“Hold your horses,” Applejack interrupted. “Twilight, ah ain’t a doctor ah work on the farm, remember? Weren’t we havin’ a picnic just a minute ago?”

Twilight’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Wait. . . if you’re not from here, then i must have trapped you in my delusions! One second—” She ran over to her bookshelf and began looking for a particular book. The book Time, The Universe, and Everything was pulled off the shelf. “Here, by Time Turner, an illustrated fillies guide to space-time. . .”

Twilight tossed the book on her desk and moaned. She wasn’t a foal, she was a grown mare. After having her magic silenced, why wouldn’t they have let her study some college level books? “Great, I really am sick. They gave me a foal’s book on quantum mechanics.”

“Look, Twilight, ah don’t know what y’all are goin’ on about but can ya get me home?” Applejack asked.

Yeah, Angel seemed to say as he squealed at Twilight.

Twilight brought a hoof up to her mouth and thought for a moment. “Well, I’m not sure how I dragged you two across, let alone how I got back. First thing's first, we need to get this magical limiter off my horn. Maybe then I can figure something out.”

“Great. How do ah do it?” Applejack asked.

Twilight gestured to the door. “Head down the hall to the nurses station. Use your ID badge to unlock the door. They keep the keys on a wall safe in there. You should have the key to the safe on your belt. Come back with the key matching my room number, and you can unlock the limiter.”

“Alright, ah’m on it,” she replied. Applejack instinctively reached to tip her hat, finding nothing but air with her hoof. She grinned, cocking the right side of her face into a smile.

“One other thing,” Twilight added, chuckling at her smug grin. “Don’t do anything suspicious.”

Applejack nodded before disappearing into the hallway, locking the door behind her. Twilight had time to dig through a few more books, frantically cross-referencing any of the woefully inadequate books that help promise. She was essentially creating her own magic from an assortment of elementary school books. Had her intellect not been exceptional, it would have proven impossible.

The spell she was writing down seemed likely enough to work—she just had to test it on Angel or Applejack. There was a knock at her door. Twilight grunted and looked as the round door handle, knowing it was always locked from the outside. Applejack turned the key and the tumblers clicked, allowing her back inside.

“Okay, ah got the key, but is it safe? It looks like there’s a lot of security, and if y’all are sick is this best for ya health? They put a dampener on; it must be for a reason,” Applejack said.

“Oh, yeah. . .” Twilight looked away shyly. “I uh—when I failed out of the school for gifted unicorns, I didn’t take it well. I hurt some of the judges. I kept practicing, hoping I could get good enough to earn another try, but then I hurt my brother.” She lowered her head, ears flat against her head, and finally admitted to herself why she was there. “I was too tenacious for my own safety.”

Applejack walked over and placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Look, Twilight, ya may not be exactly the mare ah know, but ah trust ya. If anypony can fix whatever happened to us, I’m thinkin’ it’s you, Sugarcube.”

Twilight smiled and looked up to meet her eyes. “Thanks. Ponies don’t usually trust me. They just assume I’m crazy, even when I try really hard to be nice.”

“Well, you're certainly not crazy. Ah reckon you just got a few phobias and a streak of bad luck. Why don’t we give this spell a shot?”

Applejack took the key out and used it to unlock Twilight’s magical limiter. It dangled from her horn loosely, no longer blocking her magic. She lifted it off with her hooves and felt her sixth sense stretch out, feeling the magic all around the room. It was like in Ponyville, but instead of eagerness, she felt fear. She had hurt herself in Ponyville, and Twilight was okay with that. Now, she had to cast a spell on her friends, and she was scared it could kill them.

Twilight closed her eyes and studied the conduits of magical energy—leylines—that flowed around the room. A solid yellow one with pink streaks was attached to Angel, and an orange one to Applejack. They seemed to flow to a different place than the others.

“I think I can send you back, but I’m not sure if it’ll bring back my Doctor Applejack, or if she’d even believe me. I think we should save you for last,” Twilight explained.

“All right, then why don’t we try it on Angel, and then check on the rest of the girls?”

“Sounds good to me,” Twilight said. She watched as Angel backed up and crossed his arms, shaking his head no. “Sorry, the vote is two to one.”

Twilight’s horn glowed. She closed her eyes and focused on teleporting Angel along the magical path that was connected to him. If her theory was correct it should lead him back to his world. One of her activity books had explained leylines using colorful mazes. They were how unicorns could teleport or send letters. When a pony used one, they temporarily broke the circuit of that leyline, and flowed along it.

Could it be that simple? They’re clogging a leyline? Twilight tried to slow her nervous breathing, recalling her brother. He always told me I could do it, that if I were patient, I would succeed and. . . he always said he loved me just the way I am.

There was a pop and a faint smell of sulfur, and Angel was gone. “Well, he’s back where he belongs—or I may have vaporized him.” Twilight turned to Applejack and chuckled weakly. “Let’s be optimistic, okay?”

“Sure thing, Sugarcub—” Applejack was cut off by a knock at the door. Twilight put the limiter back on her horn but didn’t lock it. A moment later a doctor plowed in.

“Thanks Celestia, there you are! Applejack, we need your help.” He slowed down to catch his breath, quickly levitating his stethoscope off the floor. “Several of the patients are having episodes. Dash had one in the middle of prepping her for a lobotomy!” he said.

Applejack had no clue who he was, but she quickly smiled and spoke confidently. “Ah’ll be right there.” She held the door open while the panicked unicorn ran off to help round up more doctors. “Come on, Twilight.”

Twilight followed her out into the hallway. She spotted Lyra sprinting down a corridor, which when she thought about it, was a normal occurrence. Rose Luck was being hogtied by two orderlies, and she saw Cloud slumped against the wall. Twilight recalled he was so violent they lobotomized him, and ever since, all he did was stare off into space.

“We have to save Dash!” Twilight pleaded, sliding against Applejack for safety.

“We will, but ya heard them. It’s in a surgery and ah bet there’ll be lots of Doctors in there. Best get the easy ones first, whose closest?” she asked.

“That’d be. . . Fluttershy. Her room is right down the first hall,” Twilight said. She led Applejack around the corner and three doors down the right side.

Fluttershy

18 y/o female

avoidant personality disorder

“You have a key for this too?” Twilight asked.

“Uh, I think so.” She pulled out her ID badge and waved it over the lock. The light flashed green and the door opened.

“Oh no, they’ve come for me!” Fluttershy squeaked and hid under her blanket.

“It’s okay, Fluttershy, it’s us,” Applejack said.

“Wha—” She crawled out from under her blanket to face the two of them.

“I can send you back home—I think—I don’t know how but I seemed to have brought you here,” Twilight explained.

“Is it safe?” Fluttershy poked her head out of the bundle of blankets, looking with concern at several birds in their cages. They were chirping words of encouragement to her.

“Of course it is,” Twilight smiled. “Angel seemed all right. Well, I mean, you’re clearly not birdgirl, so if I cast the spell and you leave and she comes back, I’ll know it worked.”

“I um, don’t want you to cast it on me.” She gulped and began to blush. “If that’s all right with you?” whispered Fluttershy.

“Sorry, Sugarcube, we’ve gotta hurry and get all the gals back home,” Applejack explained. “Besides, ya don’t really want to stay in this tiny room with all these birds, do ya?’

“Oh dear, I do hope the other Fluttershy is a kind pony,” she said.

“She is very nice to animals. She just hasn’t figured out ponies yet,” Twilight offered. It was true, and seemed to calm Fluttershy down. With memories clicking into place, the spell seemed slightly easier to begin channeling.

She charged her horn and aimed at Fluttershy. Twilight kept expecting some wave of pain to wash over her, or some distraction to make her lose her focus. Ever since hurting Shining Armor, she had been unable to cast magic. Yet now, she was finding that it was easier than she recalled. All those years of having my magic blocked, was it always this easy? Have I been scared of hurting somepony again, or hiding from the magic, blaming it for my mistakes?

Twilight plucked on the leyline attached to Fluttershy and teleported her down it. There was a bright flash, and a moment later they heard a scream.

Fluttershy screeched and threw the blanket off, before backing up against the wall. “What are you doing in here? Get out! You’ll scare the birds!”

Applejack tilted her head and looked over to Twilight. “Ah reckon that means it worked?”

“Yep, now let’s find the next one,” Twilight said.

They closed the door, muffling the shouts of shock. Twilight put the unlocked magical limiter on her horn as a disguise, and they headed for the stairwell. Applejack used her card to let them in. They went down one floor to where nurse Rarity worked.

Rarity was surrounded by fillies who had taken yarn from arts and crafts and were running around her, trying to tie her up. She was using her magic to cut the yarn and try to keep the rowdy children under control. “Somepony! Where are all the adults, I need a hoof here!” Rarity called out.

“Get back to your beds for a nap, children!” Applejack said with authority. They looked over and seemed to recognize the doctor. They knew doctors gave shots and medicines, sending several of them scurrying under a nearby couch. Others tripped and fell over their fellow ponies, and a few were smart enough to find their way back to their small bedrooms and get in bed.

“Oh, thank goodness. Applejack, Twilight, how’d we end up here?” Rarity asked.

“It’s a long story, but I can fix it,” Twilight offered.

“Please, anything to get away from these craz—” Rarity froze as her eyes fell onto a familiar pink and purple mane. “Sweetie?”

Twilight followed her gaze to the little unicorn who was sitting in a chair, staring blankly out a window. “No, Rarity, don’t!”

Rarity started to walk over and saw the reason for her blank stare. “No!” She began to cry.

“Rarity, it’s not your Sweetie. Remember that! It’s time for you to go home!” Twilight said.

She removed the limiter and began channeling magic. In seconds the now-familiar spell had been cast and Rarity seemed to shimmer and vibrate. Seconds later, the nurse looked at them with concern.

“Applejack, look out! Her limiter is off!” Rarity shouted. She charged up her horn but Applejack stepped between them.

“Look here, Missy.” She stood up straight, taking on a more friendly posture. “Ah reckon you were just on a grassy knoll or somethin’ right? Somewhere far from this here hospital?”

“How did you know—” Rarity looked down and noticed she had been standing in front of Sweetie. She knelt down and kissed her on the forehead. “It’s okay, Sweetie, sister is back.”

“I think we should find Pinkie next, then hurry to the operating room to save Dash,” Twilight said.

“Wait,” Rarity walked around to join their conversation. “You mean others came here with you?”

Twilight looked at the tiled floor and ran a hoof along it. “Yeah, I think I trapped a bunch of ponies here, and they want to lobotomize the wrong Rainbow Dash.”

“Ah don’t know where the operating room is. They’re gonna lobotomize Dash before we can send her back, if we don’t leave now” Applejack said.

“We can’t just burst in there, they will have guards,” Rarity explained. “For the lobotomies they usually have two guards, a nurse, and two doctors. I’ll help you sort whatever this is out, because when you burst in to save your friend Dash, it’ll be the last thing you do.”

Rarity was chewing on her lip and Applejack walked over to instill some confidence. “Y’all okay, Rare?”

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but there’s no way we’re all having the same delusion. If you swear to me, Doctor, that you were really on that hill having a picnic moments ago—then I’ll help you.”

“That’s the honest truth,” Applejack said. “This is the Twilight ya know from the hospital, but ah’m a farm pony from Ponyville. Your Doctor is stuck there too.”

Rarity gasped and raised a hoof to her forehead. “Wait—you’re not even a Doctor? How do you know she’s telling the truth?”

“Because I’m the element of Honesty, ah can smell a lie a mile away,” she replied.

The three stood there exchanging glances for a moment. “Okay, the medium security wing is down that hallway. Pinkie will be in there.” They galloped over to the door and Rarity used her badge to grant them access.

They headed down a corridor and found Pinkie in her room, throwing a party for herself.

“Oh, hey girls! Look, I’m throwing a party for waking up in a strange place I’ve never been to before!” Her mane deflated a bit as she stopped bouncing on the thin mattress. “I don’t suppose I can go home now, can I? It’s no fun to party alone.”

Twilight looked at her and nodded. “Yes, I can send you home.” This time the spell came naturally, making Pinkie look like she was having quite a doozy of a pinkie sense. Somehow Twilight could tell it was working, not doubting that for once she could do something without hurting anypony.

“Hey Twilight, let’s put a smile on that face!” Pinkie shouted. Her mane had straightened out completely and she was juggling cupcakes. “Look at me go! Haha!”

“Come on,” Rarity said. “It looks like you’re done here.” She closed the door and they turned to head for the operating room.

“Applejack! Rarity!” an upset unicorn yelled. The head nurse came barreling down the hallway, anger seeping off her stern face. Her grimace carried enough rage to last a normal pony a lifetime.

“What is she doing without her limiter?” she screamed at them. “You’ve finally crossed the line! I’ll have you both fir—”

Applejack ignored her, walking by, while the irate Nurse screamed at Rarity. There was a loud cracking sound as Applejack hit her in the back of the head. She collapsed on the floor, unconscious. Rarity began to laugh. “You have no idea how long the other you has been wanting to do that.”

“Ah hope ya tell the other me all about it, because she’s the one whose gonna have to deal with it,” Applejack said. “Now, where’s the lobotomy s’posed to be happenin’?”

“Follow me,” Rarity said. She lead them to a nearby stairwell and down one floor.

“Now Twilight, when we get to Dash y’all are gonna have to cast it on the both of us before they restrain ya. I’m not gonna lie, barging into the middle of a surgery and castin’ magic probably is gonna set your treatment back,” Applejack explained. She walked over and hugged Twilight.

“I’ll do my best to ensure it won’t, and I’ll explain what I saw happen,” Rarity said. “The moment you start casting you’re likely to be tackled, sedated, and restrained. You should know—I’m so very grateful you brought me back here. If I’d stayed trapped at that picnic, I’d never have seen my Sweetie again.”

Twilight smiled at the compliment, feeling a swelling of pride. I’ve done it, haven’t I? I’m finally being the hero and saving the day. It’s not a fantasy or a dream, and I didn’t have to be the star pupil of Celestia. I’m being the hero just by being the normal me. Perhaps I never had to try so hard, I just had to wait for a moment to use my magic for good.

Twilight erased her smile and set her mind to the task at hoof. “Okay, which one is the OR?”

“Second door on the left is where they perform the lobotomies,” Rarity said. Venom dripped from her voice as she spoke.

Twilight walked over to the outer doors. Inside were two guards and behind those doors, must be the procedure room. “Applejack, you sure I shouldn’t cast it on you now?”

“Ah’m not leavin’ ya to do it alone. You’re my friend, Twilight. After we save Dash, then ya can cast it on me,” Applejack said.

“Alright, here goes nothing,” Twilight said.

She charged through the doors and into the main operating theater. The dumbstruck guards shook their heads, and chased Twilight. Applejack quickly ran in, joining the chast. When she caught up to the guards seconds later, she jumped forward and hit them both on the back of the head with her hooves. Rarity followed in last, standing near the two unconscious security team members. Dash was writhing around on an operating table, held fast by thick leather restraints.

“Let me go!” Dash screamed. “You’ve got the wrong pegasus!” She was thrashing around helplessly against the thick leather restraints. “Please no!” She headbutted a nearby doctor before a nearby nurse and orderly pinned her head down, strapping it in place. “Somepony! Anypony! Help!”

Twilight walked up to the foot of the slanted table. “It’s okay, Dash. I’m here.” All the medical ponies in the room turned to stare in shock at the newcomer.

“Twilight?” Dash began to cry. “Oh thank Celestia!” The orderlies and doctors around the room stopped staring and slowly circled around Twilight.

“Now or never, Darling!” Rarity shouted, shoving a nurse to the ground who had been drawing a syringe of sedative.

Twilight closed her eyes and began channeling. She simultaneously reached out to Applejack and Dash at the same time. Twilight knew them so well, they almost felt like a part of her. Her whole world went dark as she shut off her senses and focused all her effort on saving her friends.

“Tackle her, Silas! She doesn’t have her limiter!” somepony shouted.

She bit her lip and, with a surge of energy, felt Applejack and Dash get sent off to their proper place. Twilight felt a huge, heavy pony land on her and heard Rarity scream. A confused Doctor Applejack got to her feet just in time to see Dash began thrashing and barking wildly.

Twilight smiled with pride as she felt a needle slip into her neck. “I did it. . .”

“What’s going on here?” Applejack asked. Twilight tried to stay conscious, but within seconds she had blacked out.

Six months later

Applejack and Rarity sat in front of a medical board, explaining their petition to release Twilight. Though Applejack had to take Rarity’s word for it, not caring much for the intricacies of magic, she trusted every word. All it took was a session with Twilight after she was released from observation in a padded cell, and she knew Twilight believed every word of it.

“Well, the evidence is certainly compelling, but it was only six months ago she had her last psychotic episode. I know you two consider yourself her friends, but how do we know she is really better?” the lead doctor asked.

“Dr. Mind, in these six months she has not had a single relapse, hallucination, or episode. Less than a week ago we got approval to scan her without the limiter on while she was unconscious. We found no signs of magical atrophy or brain damage.” Applejack pointed to the CT scan they had sitting in the middle of the desk. “She is not only physically healthy, but somehow she seems to have cured herself during the last episode.”

“Patients don’t cure themselves by having a psychotic episode. Even you know that.” He inhaled deeply and sighed, not finding any way to fit this clearly impossible medical scenario into any case study he had ever heard of. “It just doesn’t happen. . .”

“Yes, sir. But Twilight did. I was there, she was talking as if she was sending the delusions home. She honestly believes she rescued them, sent them away, and has never seen them again. Whether it really happened or not, she absolutely believes the delusions are gone and has not seen them since. I’ve talked to the other nurses, and she’s been the perfect patient since then,” Rarity said.

Dr. Mind tapped his pen on the table a few times while thinking about it. Finally he signed the form and smiled at the two. “Like I said, the evidence is there even if the medical community and I can’t figure it out. Whatever happened that day, we’ll never know.”

Applejack and Rarity smiled and stood up. “Thank you so much, sir, we’ll send for her family at once.”

“Yes, and Doctor,” he called out.

“Yes, Dr. Mind?”

“Next time you’re handling a patient during an episode, do warn the head nurse. As I recall, Twilight kicked her in the back of the head, knocking her unconscious. I thought I’d personally tell you we’re dismissing her complaint against you.” Dr. Mind smiled widely and chuckled. “Please be more careful around our nurses in the future.”

Applejack returned a knowing grin, grateful the head nurse’s complaint had been dismissed.

Twilight was a free mare; a new mare. She walked through the lobby of the hospital with her saddlebags. On one side was her illustrated book about space and time, and on the other was Smarty Pants and a change of clothes.

Just over six months ago everything had clicked into place for her. She had discovered who she really was. She was not the savior of Equestria, not the element of magic. She was Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight was a clever filly who had thrown herself into her studies, taking them far too seriously. Once she realized she was just a normal unicorn, she had saved the lives of all her friends by sending them back to Ponyville.

Applejack and Rarity were the only ones who seemed to believe her story in the slightest. Eventually, Twilight wasn’t even sure if any of it had really happened.

She stepped out into the bright sunlight, feeling the grass beneath her hooves and the cool spring breeze. Twilight knew it didn’t matter whether it really happened or not. For a day she had gotten to be the hero, and she hadn’t felt the urge to escape reality and live in her fantasies ever since.

Ahead of her Shining was waiting, a large, sloppy grin on his face. He started to rush forward to hug her. Twilight’s estranged parents were there too, and she caught them smile at each other.

Twilight broke into her own gallop to meet them.

“I’m better!” She leapt into Shining’s hooves and hugged her big brother.

Author's Note

Thank you everyone who has followed this story. With Daemon of Decay inspiring and promoting it, all of you and he helped me build a fan base and learn to write.

Though I have to end this story for lack of better, awesomer ideas, I hope you enjoy the ending. Perhaps in the future I'll revisit it, though I already have plans for other crazy pony stories.

I. Delirium

Chapter I: Delirium

Twilight leapt out of bed, landing over the wastebasket as her stomach expelled a wave of bile. Her abdomen cramped as she gasped for breath. The room spun slowly as she pushed weakly to her hooves, and stumbled back towards the bed. She grasped the sheet and braced herself against the mattress to steady her growing dizziness. A ringing noise grew louder in her ears as the walls began to ripple in sync with her rapid heartbeat. Twilight felt a sense of deja vu as her muscles began to convulse. She lost consciousness and began to thrash around violently.

Twilight rolled over to shield her eyes from the light. Morning always came too early and today was no exception. The hospital staff dictated that every day started at seven and ended at ten, but she did her best to sleep late, in spite of that. The warmth of her body radiated into the bed sheets and reflected back, comforting her.

A grumbling voice brought her back to reality. Stretching out under the warm quilt, she felt a wave of pleasure pass through her stiff muscles. Twilight cracked her eyes open in time to see a baby dragon trudging through her field of view. It took a moment for her mind to analyze what it had seen.

Twilight decided to pinch herself to wake up. When a sharp pain shot up her foreleg, she deduced she was already awake. Her pulse quickened as she realized what this meant: it was another delusion. Her doctor had prepared her for this. She began willing her muscles to relax and started counting out her breaths. Anxiety would only make things worse. Twilight glanced around the room. With the dragon nowhere to be found, she let out a sigh and slid further under the covers.

After relaxing, her mind began drifting in and out of consciousness. Twilight told herself she would wake up in the correct room this time, and slowly nudged the covers away from her head. She should have seen her bland hospital room; grey walls, a couple of bookshelves and an unassuming desk.

Instead, she saw warm oak floors, a window pouring in sunlight, and books, enough books to last a lifetime. It was her library, the room she both loved and feared. Soon after, memories flooded in, and like the books, there were more than enough to keep her happy. She was wide awake now and her pulse was quickening. This wasn't her room.

Her room was a small, controlled environment, it was room 310 at Broadhoof Hospital. It was simple and unchanging, and because of that it was comfortable. She wanted to be in that room, but the happiness, warmth, and memories pulled her back into the library.

She resisted. Twilight struggled to remember what her doctor had said to do if she found herself in such a powerful delusion.

"Now sugarcube, we're adjusting your medicine again and this time it should help treat all the symptoms. With any new medicine it may get worse before it gets better. I need ya to be brave and hang in there."

She shrank back into the sheets. "Maybe this is a delusion. If the new medicines didn't work, I could be having another episode." Twilight clenched her eyes shut. "If I just wait here, the orderlies will come check on me. Then the hallucinations will end."

Twilight’s heart rate was steadily returning to normal. This was a relapse, and like the ones before, she would recover. The lessons she had learned to deal with hallucinations came to mind: stay calm, accept that you are hallucinating, and try to interrupt it. Glancing around, she noticed everything in the library was exactly as she remembered it. Two years had passed since she had been haunted by such vivid visions of her library home. "No, I grew up in Canterlot, this isn't my home."

The sound of footsteps on the stairs broke her train of thought. Looking to her left, she saw the dragon returning with a tray of food.

"You're not real!" Recoiling back from the purple monster, she instinctively reached out for magic to protect herself. The magic channeling into her horn quickly spiraled out of control. A small shockwave of air knocked her out of the bed and sent the tray flying out of the dragon's hands. Twilight's wide eyes and open mouth mirrored the startled dragon’s.

"Sorry Twilight, didn't mean to startle you. Since you're ill I brought you breakfast in bed. Guess I forgot how jumpy you've been since you got sick." Spike reached down and began returning the spilt food to the tray.

Twilight continued to stare as she paced around examining him. She built up her courage and finally approached him. He looked so real, almost as if she could reach out and touch him. With her right hoof she poked the dragon in his nose, knocking him back onto his rump. He sure felt real.

Spike raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "Twilight! What was that for? Have you been up reading all night?"

Twilight watched as the dragon rubbed his nose and stood up. Without a second thought she knocked the hallucination back to the ground more forcefully. "You're not real, go away!"

"You're worrying me, Twilight. I’m as real as you are—" Twilight took a step towards him.

"No you're not!" A faint glow surrounded her horn as Spike fueled her anger. “None of this is real!”

“Take it easy Twilight. . .” Spike lifted his hands up and began to back away. “You’re sick. Just calm down—”

“Crazy? I’m not crazy!” Twilight glared at Spike as books flew off the shelves around the bedroom. “Discord, Luna, the elements of harmony. Lies, all lies!”

Spike’s concern turned to fear as he backed against the wall. “Stop—You’re scaring me.”

Her eyes opened revealing a white glowing aura. "If I can't do it the easy way, I'll tear this hallucination down wall by wall!"

Twilight unleashed herself. She whirled up a vortex of books and quills, turning each one into a flying projectile. Spike ducked and dodged through the chaos, narrowing flipping over more than a few heavy texts. As the rage built inside Twilight, a surge of magic started to feedback into her brain. Within seconds, her mind kicked back and she collapsed to the ground. The magical backlash pierced through her forehead like a heated blade. Looking around, she saw Spike slumped against the wall.

Twilight expected him to disappear; instead he began grimacing in pain. "You're still here? But none of this is real—I need to wake up. . ." She stared at the baby dragon that was rubbing a claw over his head. A book had hit him hard enough to draw blood. Twilight rushed over to inspect him, only to be pushed away when she tried to touch him.

Spike jumped to his feet, inches from her face. "Real? Of course I'm real! You've been acting crazy since you got sick. You'd think the least you could do is stop destroying the library so I'd have less chores, but no! Now, I'm doing both our jobs and you won't even stay in bed like you're supposed to." Spike had backed Twilight against the wall, but his rigid face softened as his temper cooled.

Twilight slumped to the floor as color drained from her face, and began sobbing. The staff had always treated her so nicely; she didn't want to be a burden to anypony. She was just as broken in the perfect world she crafted for herself as in the real world.

“I'm—I’m a burden! That’s all I am! I'm a sick pony with no fr-friends who should be locked away!" Twilight’s vision was blurred as tears streamed down her face, causing her to miss the look of surprise as Spike’s mouth fell open. Twilight sniffled, inhaling in short gasps between her sobs.

"Huh? I didn’t say that." Spike took a tentative step closer to her and smiled, resting a hand on her shoulder. “I just meant, it’s a whole lot of work running the library for you.”

"That’s n—not what you said. Everyone—even my mom and dad thought I was a s—sick pony and sent me away. Just when I thought I was getting better, I e—ended up back here and now even you hate me." Twilight's tears ran down her face, pooling on the floor. So many painful memories of her past were surfacing. She had buried the guilt and pain by inventing this perfect world. Now it was crumbling around her, and even her number one assistant hated her.

"Twilight," the dragon spoke gently into her ear as he hugged her tightly. "We’re family and I'm sorry I lost my temper. I’m tired, stressed, and my head sure hurts, but I could never hate you.” Spike released her and sat down so he could look her in the eyes. “Please forgive me?"

"Do—Do you really mean it?" She sniffled.

"Yes." Twilight grinned wildly and giggled as she scooped up Spike and hugged him. He glanced around the room nervously as he gently pushed his way out of the hug. “Alright. So you’re not upset anymore, right? I could really use a break from the cr—excitement.”

She cocked her head to the side for a moment and shrugged. “I guess not, you can stay.”

“Yeah, thanks. . . Why don’t you get some rest?”

"Alright, Spike. I'll try and rest and see if it helps." With a sigh, Twilight climbed back into the bed.

Spike groaned as he walked downstairs. “This is finals week all over again,” he mumbled.

The blankets were still warm from where she had slept. A twinge of pain shot down her horn as she wiped off her tears. Looking up at the horn she saw the lavender spirals of keratin. Twilight was so used to just seeing the white bandage wrapped around it. She couldn't help but touch it with her hooves. For her own safety after she began treatment, her magic had been suppressed. She was prone to lose control of her magic, and could easily hurt herself. Looking back now, she knew she should have stopped trying to impress Celestia before she hurt anypony.

As she prodded her horn with her hooves she could feel soreness and throbbing behind its base. Her forehead was warm and swollen, and a sharp pain hit her when she tried to focus her magic. The arcane mana she felt around her seemed tainted and hungry. It seemed to swirl and fade into the pain, appeasing it.

"Maybe I am sick and I really do live here." Twilight smiled at the thought.

"Don't be ridiculous. After all you've been through you actually believe this is real?"

“What are you doing here? I have medicine to keep you from bothering me all day long.” Twilight sat up in the bed and slammed her hooves into the mattress. “You’re probably the reason I’m having delusions again in the first place!”

”Look around, there are no drugs or nurses, nothing but the delusion. You’re sick and you would rather hide here than get treatment.”

Twilight considered it’s words for a moment. This voice reveled in her guilt and inadequacy, constantly reminding her of every failure. She did not want to deal with it anymore. "What's it matter to you? If I'm happy, I'll just stay here in Ponyville."

"You don't deserve to be happy. And if you stay here, imagine what will happen to your friends back at the hospital. Pinkie would never throw a party again. Applejack would blame herself as the last of your sanity fled you. You can never be happy, even here."

She fell back onto the pillow, thinking about Pinkie. They had been living in the ward together for years. If Twilight wasn’t there to laugh at her jokes, Pinkie would slip back into her depression. Admitting that she was mentally ill almost seemed worth it if it meant Pinkie would keep smiling. "Even if I want to go back, I don't know how. Maybe you've been right all along and I'm too weak to get better."

The voice didn't respond. Twilight took her mind off her inner antagonist by making a mental checklist of the discrepancies around her. If she could find enough inconsistencies it would prove whether this was real or a facade.

There were many more books stacked along the walls than she had imagined. A variety of quills, scrolls, and ink were scattered around her desk. Noticing the window, she quietly got out of bed and approached it. Outside was a park with ponies playing and sitting in the sun. She had never seen anything so beautiful and terrifying at the same time. A vast open world of uncertainty and turmoil was held at bay by a single pane of glass. She had never imagined Ponyville as such a chaotic place.

For as long as she could remember, she had lived in a world of order. Twilight took comfort in her daily routine. Applejack had always been there to help her as a confidant, and the thought of having no pony to help her out in this unstructured world frightened her. Beyond this window there were no plans, no structure, only chaos.

Something caught her attention outside, ending her nostalgia.

A familiar unicorn nurse with a pink mane was walking by the library. Twilight leapt across the bed and ran down to the main floor of the library. Rushing out the front door, she rounded the tree house looking for the familiar nurse from Broadhoof Memorial. Contacting the nurse would allow her to get back to where she belonged. A crowd of ponies walked by and the nurse was nowhere in sight.

All around her were ponies that were vaguely familiar. There had been plenty of time when she was younger to imagine all the wonderful ponies that would live in Ponyville. Across the street, a pony named Bon Bon was idly flipping through her mail. She was a patient Twilight met at Broadhoof hospital that had multiple personality disorder. One of the personalities always talked of baking candies, so she had made her a confectioner in her mind.

Bon Bon glanced over and smiled at her, but instead of returning the friendly gesture, Twilight started slinking backwards. This wasn't her Bon Bon; this was a doppelganger that she had created to imagine her as a normal pony. The wide road and open skies suddenly became intimidating. A flock of birds caught her eye as they vanished behind a row of houses. The sounds of a dozen whispered conversations reached her ears. The dirt road ahead began to stretch further and further into the distance. Nearby houses retreated to leave Twilight standing in the middle of a wasteland. She rushed back into the library before her paranoia got any worse.

The door slammed behind Twilight, announcing her presence in the library. “Surprise!” Twilight reeled back against the door, panicked and lightheaded, as her friend Pinkie jumped out of a shower of confetti. “I dropped by to throw a ‘get well soon’ party, just you and me,” Pinkie exclaimed.

Laughing nervously, the hairs standing up on Twilight’s back began to flatten out. "Thanks, Pinkie. I've had quite a day. I woke up here and haven't been able to snap out of it." Relief washed over her as the straight-haired mare smiled back at her.

"Who are you talking to?" Spike stepped out of the kitchen and looked around the library.

"Spike, I'm talking to Pinkie Pie. She stopped by to throw me a 'get well soon' party." Twilight pointed to her left, but Pinkie wasn't there. She continued to glance around, certain that her friend was standing right next to her a moment ago.

Spike looked around for confetti, cake, or some other sign Pinkie had, in fact, been there. "Uh, I don't see her Twi. How about you come in the kitchen and eat breakfast? I need to meet Zecora at the market and we'll be right back." Spike came over to her and guided her into the kitchen. "Just take it easy while I'm gone and when we get back she'll have some medicine for the miasma."

Twilight's ears perked up at the dragon's mention of her illness. "Miasma? Is that what I've been sick with?"

"Yeah, I don't know the details. Zecora said you shouldn't use magic or you'll get hurt or spread it. Judging by the condition of the library, I believe it. I'm sure she will answer the rest of your questions."

"Thanks Spike, you had better get going then." She watched the dragon exit and felt relieved to be given time alone to contemplate the situation. Twilight heard the door click shut in the distance and entered the kitchen.

A rumbling sound passed through her stomach as the smell of cinnamon reached her nostrils. A bowl of oats sat on a small wooden table before Twilight. She stuck a hoof in it and was rewarded by the feel of the thick warm breakfast between her hoof. Everything from the food to her bodies unconscious reactions pushed her to accept this as reality. The spoon next to the bowl began to glow purple as Twilight lifted it into the air. The familiar pains of the past hour washed back over her brain, interrupting her magic. The pain receded slightly as she massaged her temples. Twilight picked the spoon up and frowned, before eating the meal like a normal pony.

Tasting the porridge proved that it was better than what the cafeteria served each morning. Instead of a bland, lukewarm goop, this porridge had bits of oats, cinnamon, and raisins. It was the best thing Twilight could recall tasting and she greedily gobbled it up. She drank the nearby glass of apple juice quickly, then stared out the bottom of the empty glass.

Content that her hunger would no longer distract her from the task at hoof, Twilight headed back upstairs to get a quill and parchment. Her first order of business would be to make a checklist, but what kind of checklist would she make for 'escaping a nightmare?' She glanced at the pile of books that were knocked to the floor earlier. Twilight could work on a checklist later; this unsightly pile of books was an affront to order. Twilight began re-shelving the books properly.

A Tale of Two Ponies. Cutie Marks and You. Everything you Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties. Deciphering Ancient Languages. Twilight stopped after realizing she had placed the last book out of order. Knocking them all back to the ground, she started over.

A Tale of Two Ponies. Cutie Marks and you . . . Twilight stared at the paperback in her hooves; it was titled Beowulf's Insights on Politics. Knocking the two books off the shelves she started again.

As time passed she got closer and closer to filling the bookshelf back up in proper order. She was careful to get every piece of literature in exactly the right order on the first try. With a smile she shelved the final book on Zoology and sat down. Something was still bothering her. Twilight began to count up all the books on the bookshelf. 1, 2, 3, 4 . . . 27, 28, 29.

Twenty-nine was a vile prime number. Worse than that, the top two shelves had ten books each and the bottom only had nine! Quickly she ran around the library rummaging through piles of tomes and scrolls. She had to find something that came after Zoology.

Eventually she ran out of piles of books to check. Twilight realized she would have to start over on the bookshelf. Grabbing the first book she saw in front of her, she headed back upstairs.

Glancing down at the cover of the book she read the title: Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone. Glancing to the top shelf, this book belonged before Deciphering Ancient Languages. With a groan, Twilight cleared the shelves and started again.

Twilight was making excellent progress after realizing she had to keep the entire Daring Do series together. The newly re-organized shelving was perfect. Each shelf now had twelve books, alphabetically sorted, hardcover, and with 7 inch tall bindings. While admiring her work she had a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that she was forgetting something very important. Twilight shook her head until the thought vanished; the library had to be perfect before she could even think about whatever had been forgotten.

Trotting down the stairs she noticed several rows of photographs on the far wall. They had been untouched by the small tornado, and as Twilight approached them she suddenly remembered what was so important. This world wasn't real and the photos could prove it! Examining the photos would help her wake back up.

The first photo showed her sitting with Spike, Owlowiscious, and Peewee. The next picture showed her best friends. Each exemplified a particular strength. Honesty, loyalty, kindness, generosity, and laughter were mostly absent from her life. Twilight created them to be the friends she never had. Once, she even admitted to the psychiatrist that even though they were fake, thinking about them still made her happy. Pinkie would always bring her laughter, even if she wasn't the same party pony in the photograph. There were pictures of birthday parties for all five of her friends filling the rest of the shelf.

Reaching the end of the last shelf, she saw a photo of her most cherished memory. It was a photo of five ponies having a picnic together.

Twilight remembered that day as clearly as if it were yesterday. For one day, her family had come back to visit her in the hospital. They’d had a relaxing picnic outside under the warm sun. Her brother Shining Armor had chased her around the yard like when they were kids, his limp was barely noticeable. Her old foal-sitter, Cadance, had sung old nursery rhymes with her. Her father and mother had been so happy that Twilight had forgotten all about their separation. For the first time since she came to the hospital, her family was whole again. An orderly named Silas had volunteered to take a photo of the family. Twilight sat amidst her visiting family, clutching the present her parents had gotten her tightly. It was The Autobiography of Starswirl the Bearded. She had read the book until she knew every word by heart. Now the leather binding of the cover was worn and peeling with age.

As Twilight relived the memory she smiled, and her eyes became moist. Then she noticed things in the photo that hadn’t been there before. Celestia stood in the background looking every bit as regal as she had imagined. The purple and green tail of the pet dragon she had always wanted stuck out of a half-eaten cake. Her mind struggled to unravel this paradox, certain that this had never happened. Instead of a hospital, there was a lake and a rolling hill in the background. Clutched in Twilight's arms along with the book was a letter, the words barely visible. Picking up the photo she squinted to make out what it said. There were dried tears on the letter but some of the words were legible.

Dear Twilight,

It is . . . . great honor . . . . . . accepted . . . . Celestia's school . . . gifted unicorns. . . .

The rest of the letter was hidden by her hooves as she held her presents with joy. Taking the picture down, Twilight fumbled to get the backing off and examine it closer. She poked her hooves against the metal clips, but the backing wouldn't budge. Twilight had failed the entrance exam and spent months imagining this acceptance letter. Something had made a mockery of a cherished memory, turning it into the very delusion that had ruined her life. She no longer wanted to be the prized pupil of Celestia. With all her heart she just wanted her family back. From behind the glass of the picture frame, the smiling ponies taunted her.

Frustrated, she smashed the frame on the ground and forced the photo out through the broken glass. In her hurry to put the photo away as a filly she had bent it, and the crease was still visible. Turning the photo over, there was dried cake frosting in the shape of a fillies hoof. If this photo is a fake, why does it look exactly how I remember it? A drop of blood landed on the photo snapping her out of her reverie. Twilight looked down at her foreleg and saw where glass had cut deeply into her. Crimson droplets of blood were trailing down her fur and slowly falling to the floor.

"Wait. . . it is real after all?" Twilight watched blood trickle out of the wound. "My family, my friends. . ."

"They're all lies. Your delusion has become your prison, sick little pony."

Twilight dropped the photo as the voice bathed her in doubt. "No! I'm not sick—I won't let you trap me here. It is just a bad dream.” She took a few steps back until the photo was a safe distance away. “It has to be! We're not crazy, the doctors said so!"

"No, you're crazy, and this whole time you've been trying to prove you're not. You keep letting ponies convince you that you can get better. You can't. This whole world is a fraud to bury your guilt."

"No!" Twilight looked around for the source of the cruel voice. "The whole hospital must be fake!" A trail of blood droplets marked the floor as she backed up. "This blood is real!"

"You're losing control again. I wonder who you'll hurt this time. Fluttershy? Pinkie? Dash? Maybe Shining Armor again?"

Her hooves hit the first step of the stairs. "I can still fix this! I can make the delusions stop and live happily here."

"Without meds? Without doctors? You're even crazier than I thought." The sound of malicious laughter echoed off the wooden walls.

Twilight ran upstairs as fast as her hooves would carry her. The levies in her brain began to crack and her emotions seeped in. She needed to get somewhere safe. With her last rational thoughts she flipped her bed up against the corner, forming a tight triangle against the wall. Leaping over the bed she landed in the upended blankets, and threw the quilt over her.

Tears flowed freely. She began to shake, softly at first, but slowly it turned into bone-rattling tremors. The dreaded memory was surfacing. Every flashing face, every spatter of blood, shook her to her core. Twilight sobbed madly as she gave up her last hope that somepony would come and save her. All she wanted was a soft touch, a warm smile, anything to give her a moment to shut the memory out. No one was coming to help her though.

As the mental dam that held back all her pain and guilt burst, She blacked out.

"Come on Shiny! I've figured it out this time, I'll pass the exam this year for sure!" A small violet mare with an unkempt mane dragged a much larger white unicorn forward. Her excitement burned as bright as the sun.

"Easy Twily. I'm excited about your new spell too." Shining looked down at her with a smile.

"We're here! Ok, you just stand right here . . . Last time I couldn't make the dragon hatch, but instead of trying to break the shell, I should have tried a growth spell! Watch this . . ." The filly closed her eyes and focused on a patch of flowers in their backyard. Shining Armor's smile got wider as the flowers began to bloom.

"Twily, you're doing it!" Shining Armor turned pale and froze as he felt a familiar ripple. His eyes widened. There was no mistaking the torrent of arcane energy buzzing in the air. It was a magic surge. "Twilight, stop!"

Shining could feel the maelstrom of energy flowing through her as the young filly struggled to control the magical eddies. He could have run, he could have shielded himself, but he didn't. Rushing to his little sister he held Twilight tight as her eyes began to glow white. "Twily, it's ok. . . I'm here—"

With a deafening boom the magic that had built up in Twilight escaped her. Arcing up from her horn to Shining, it threw him back against the house with tremendous force. A sickening crack reached her ears as her brother lay limp and bloodied against the house.

Fear, guilt, and weakness filled Twilight's mind as she recovered. She had failed the entrance exam. She had injured her brother and ruined his dreams of being a royal guard. She was the sick pony that made her parents argue and fight. She was the reason they divorced after she went to the hospital. She was the reason her foal-sitter had never visited.

It was all her fault. The harder Twilight tried to deny it, the worse her life had become. She lay there in the confines of her hastily constructed sanctuary, wishing it all away.

"Now why are you crying Sugarcube? Won't you tell me what's wrong?"

Twilight shifted the quilt just enough to see if the orange mare was really there. AJ was sitting next to her. She did not dare to blink, fearing her friend might vanish.

"I know you haven't talked to anyone since you got here. I was mighty humbled when they told me you drew this picture for me. Thank you, Sugarcube."

Twilight remembered this conversation now. It was her favorite moment with Doctor Applejack. She had finally realized that AJ, unlike her family, wouldn’t abandon her. For the first time the scared, newly admitted filly opened up to the doctor. Applejack returned her trust, telling her how Twilight had been the bright part of her days at the hospital. Starting that night they had begun working together to make things better.

"Applejack, can I tell you something?"

"Yes? You can talk to me about anything Sugarcube."

"When you weren't there for our walk I thought you left me too. I'm so scared and lonely . . . I'm a failure and the only place I'm happy . . . Well it isn't real, none of it is. I'm just a sick pony." Twilight felt a hoof on her shoulder.

"Now that's just not true; You are not a failure. You were the only pony I could talk to when I was a brand new doctor. You listened to my troubles and made me a better mare. If you'll let me, I'll help make you happy here. You'll never be alone; You won't have to retreat into fantasies anymore."

"What if I get lost and I can't find my way back? I want to be a good pony, but I don't know how anymore. All I do is hurt others." Twilight wanted to cry, but had exhausted her tears.

Applejack lifted her chin up to face her. "As long as we have our friendship you will never be lost. Remember that for me, promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," she said smiling weakly.

Warm in her blankets, with her head resting on Applejack's lap, Twilight fell asleep. She slept peacefully for the first time since she had arrived at the hospital.

Now, Twilight wept alone and scared with only this one happy memory to console her. She could still feel the warmth of Applejack's lap on her cheek.

Author's Note

--Re-written March 1st using what I learned about writing (and friendship) over the last few weeks. Feedback is welcome.

V. Agoraphobia

The doppelganger descended from her throne and walked forward until she stood inches from Twilight's face.

"What am I?"

"You seem to think that you're my conscience, or super-ego. I have yet to see any evidence you actually hold the moral high ground," Twilight mocked.

The voice that had been tormenting Twilight began to laugh heartily. "You don't have to agree to make it true. For years I have been trying to help you out and keep control of your desires." The doppelganger motioned to the younger version of Twilight.

"My id, Sparkle. She would represent my desires. Are you implying by opposing her that my hopes are false, and that you are correct?"

"Is that going to be your one question? I had certainly hoped for something better."

"No," Twilight replied. Certainly there had to be a better question to ask. Asking which reality was correct might prove fruitful, or she might get an answer similar to Big Mac's. Inquiring who destroyed her memories, or what they were, might also prove fruitless. If Twilight's id was to be believed, then her super-ego had not acknowledged their illness.

"I have a different question in mind," Twilight stated. "I would like to kno—" She was interrupted by a deep rumbling that resonated through the hall. "Oh you've got to be kidding me."

"What is that?" The doppelganger walked past Twilight to face the entryway into its chambers. The wall rippled from impacts on the other side, knocking lose bits of stone and dust.

"That's the monster I was trying to tell you about, it came from the Everfree!" Sparkle exclaimed.

"And I told you, child, that there is no Everfree. We're the only ones in her mind. This isn't possible. . . unless you know something we don't, Twilight."

"I've been assuming my inability to tell my memories apart was due to an illness. My friends seem to think I'm sick with some rare disease, while I think it was all just a delusion." Twilight gestured around with her hoof. "Now, I'm not quite sure what to believe. All the evidence does seem to support my insanity."

The room began to shake more violently. The ceiling was covered in tiles that reflected what Twilight could see in the waking world. Images of her room in the library began to flicker, others were filled with static. Segments of the ceiling began to collapse, becoming deadly projectiles as they fell. Energy arced through them, tainting the air with ozone.

"Well good news, Twilight, you're definitely ill. That," the voice exclaimed. "That does not belong in your mind, nor do I believe it a product of your obvious insanity or I would have been aware of it before."

The doppelganger, embodiment of her conscience, and chief instigator of her guilt, turned to face her. Twilight shrank back under her judging gaze, as if she were less than nothing.

"You will leave now while I deal with your mess."

"No!" Twilight yelled. "This is my mind, I'm staying to help."

"It was a mistake to bring you here, you caused this manifestation. Now get out!"

Twilight was jolted awake as her body shivered. She was lying in bed and nothing seemed amiss. The blanket was still tucked in, the faint light of a few fireflies in a lamp dancing across them. Books were still neatly stacked, the door closed securely, and the room was quiet.

The silence. That was what bothered her the most. The feeling that she had just been dreaming was stuck in her mind, but so was the feeling that something more had happened. Something important was missing, an absence that was difficult to explain.

Twilight sat up in bed, realizing the beginnings of a headache. Closing her eyes and rubbing her temples seemed to help. As she reflected on what had just happened she was able to retrieve fragments of it from the outskirts of her mind.

She had been talking to the voice last night, asking it to show her the memories and help her sort out her illness. She had been on Sweet Apple Acres with her younger self. Twilight had also been at a party in the hospital. Something had then torn her mind apart, chasing her to the voice.

"Oh no, answer me! You can't be gone!" Twilight shouted. She held her eyelids shut trying to force herself back into her mind to no avail.

The door clicked and slowly opened. "Good morning, Twilight. Everything okay in here?" Spike questioned.

"No, it's not! I can't hear the voice in my head anymore! It's gone, Spike!"

Spike tilted his head to the side then glanced around the room. "Voice? Isn't that a good thing if you can't hear voices?"

"You don't understand, it's in my mind tearing it apart! I have to go back in there, I have to save them!" Twilight lay back down and covered her head with a pillow.

Spike began counting fingers on his claw. "AJ? No, she'd be too busy harvesting. Maybe Pinkie? At least she'd cheer her up. Fluttershy? I suppose she's as close as I could get to a psychologist. . ." Spike continued to muse over who would be best able to talk sense into Twilight this time.

"Just wait here, Twilight, I'm going to go find one of your friends." Spike stepped out of the room, wondering how he could leave her alone. Last time she had nearly burned down the library.

The door clicked shut softly as Twilight continued to mumble and roll around on the bed inside.

Twilight had no success in re-entering her mind. She had tried calming down, and tried getting angry. Smothering herself in blankets had no effect, nor did demanding the voice return her. For the first time in as long as she could remember, the voice was gone. The absence of it should have overjoyed her; instead it filled her with fear.

After giving up, she untangled the bed sheets and got up. Science would provide her with a reasonable explanation. Gazing over the bookshelf she recalled the texts of the various tomes by their titles. None of them would be helpful, so she walked over to the door to explore the rest of the library.

The door swung open and she saw the dozens of books. It only took a minute to decide where to start. An old book by a stallion named Freud. He had been the first to identify the id, ego, and superego. If his theories held true, it could explain what she had just seen in her mind.

After locating the book Twilight began to skim through it for answers. It was overly complicated and old, yet for his time the stallion had made impressive insights into the mind of a pony. One thing stood out and bugged her. If the voice in her head that was taunting her was her conscience, her superego, then why was it able to take on the shadowy form in the atrium? For a moment, it had looked just like the illness that had chased her out of the Everfree.

The whole ordeal had been surreal and possibly a dream. Could a simple book prove any of her theories true?

Twilight went over to the window to take a break from the first of what would be many books she had to research. It was a beautiful day outside, yet it did not make it less terrifying.

Across the street the Cutie Mark Crusaders were playing. They seemed unphased by the maze of houses that seemed to stretch on endlessly. The cloudless sky made the mountain in the distance that housed Canterlot visible.

Ponies may have built houses and found clever ways of hiding it, but the world was a big place. Twilight could have walked in any direction for hours without seeing another pony. It would be so easy to get lost, and though Canterlot might appear to be just over the next hill, it was nearly a hundred miles away.

Whether this library were real or an illusion, Twilight took pride in knowing exactly where everything was and how many feet away they were at any given moment. Aside from Spike organizing the books wrong on occassion, she had brought order to the library.

The door flew open and startled Twilight.

“Hey, Twi, you ready for a picnic?” Dash asked.

“A picnic? That’s not on any of my schedules. I suppose I’ve been preocupied lately, still, it would have shown up on a checklist. . . maybe a sticky note. . .” Twilight continued to ignore Dash while looking around to confirm the picnic.

Dash grabbed Twilight and shook her. “Equestria to Twilight! It’s a surprise, that’s why it’s not on your checklist, sheesh.”

“We can’t have a picnic I’m trying to find why the voices in my head went silent!”

Dash cocked her head to the side, then looked at Spike. “What are you feeding her?”

“Don’t look at me, I found her like this,” Spike answered.

“Uh, hello? I’m standing right here,” Twilight said.

“Sorry, it’s just I was hoping you’d feel better by now. I invited all your friends, they want to see you and know you’re okay.”

“Oh, I guess you can invite them in now, Dash.” Twilight walked over to start setting the table for tea.

“No, we’re going outside to a picnic. You’re killin’ me, Twilight,” Dash stated.

“I can’t go outside, it isn’t safe.”

Dash smiled. “You’re safe with me, don’t be silly. I worked really hard on this.”

Twilight turned to face her friend. Of all the ponies she had met since arriving in Ponyville she trusted Dash the most. That did not mean she wanted to go outside with her. Last time, Dash had almost lost her.

Smiling, she addressed her friend. “Sorry, maybe next time we can go.”

“Oh no, you’re coming outside and I’m going to show you there is nothing to be afraid of,” Dash said.

“Spike, can you tell Dash I’m just fine here?”

“Don’t look at me, I think fresh air would be good for you,” Spike replied.

“I’m a grown mar—” Twilight was interrupted as Dash landed behind her and began pushing.

“Out we go, and don’t think of trying magic, it’s bad for your health or something, right, Spike?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” Spike said.

“Ugh, this isn’t happening, let go!” Twilight protested. She tried to run away but Dash had her by the tail.

“This will be fun! There will be cake!”

Twilight sighed and sat down as Dash pulled her outside and Spike walked alongside them. She knew from Pinkie’s surprise birthday party how persistent Dash could be. Perhaps the best course of action would be to play along. The ground wasn’t that comfortable when you were being dragged across it.

“Alright!” Twilight shouted. She stood up and walked alongside Dash towards the park. “But don’t think I’ll forget about this, I don’t like it out here.”

“Why not?” Dash asked.

“It isn’t safe, I don’t know my way around and if I get lost it could take me years to find Canterlot.”

“Why Canterlot?”

“It’s the only place I can see when I’m lost in the forest.”

Dash looked at her and rose an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t the trees be the only thing you could see?”

Twilight froze. “Oh Celestia! You’re right, I’ll never find my way back!” She turned and sprinted for the library. She was stopped abruptly by a sharp pain near her rump. Dash had bitten her tail and held fast.

The pegasus towed Twilight the rest of the way to the picnic. When she finally got there, she saw all of her friends were happy and waiting for her.

“Twilight! I’m so happy you’re okay!” Pinkie cheered.

“Calm down, Pinkie, she’s clearly having a bad day,” Rarity explained.

“Hi everypony,” Twilight said. She was shivering despite it being warm outside, it was uncomfortable out in the open. At least all six of her friends were here. It wasn’t often Spike and the girls got to hang out, in fact Twilight couldn’t remember the last time it had happened.

A wide smile crossed Twilight’s face. It was enough to make her forget about her fear of the outdoors. Maybe Dash was right about bringing her out here today.

Something jumped out from behind Fluttershy. The while projectile landed on Twilight’s face and grabbed on, trying to hug her.

“Ahhh! Get it off!” Twilight shouted.

“Angel, No!” Fluttershy scolded.

“Gah!” Twilight was hyperventilating, her mind filled with an unreasonable panic. Before she could stop herself, a bright white flash emanated from her horn. Her eyes burned from the blinding light.

Twilight didn’t want to wake up. Her muscles were all stiff and sore, to the point that she didn’t want to move a single one. Despite the bed being warm, the blanket had an odd feel to it. She rolled over, ignoring her protesting muscles, and curled her legs in towards her stomach.

The room was brightly lit, annoying her dreary eyes. The harsh light and smell of hospital chemicals was one she had never gotten used too. It made it so difficult to sleep in. She fidgeted beneath the covers for awhile trying to get comfortable again. Any minute the orderlies would come wake her up, yet she still wanted a few more minutes of sleep.

Twilight slowly caught up with her train of thought. Opening her eyes revealed what she feared most. She was back inside her room at the asylum. This meant she was having another nightmare, delusion, or perhaps she had woken up in her head again. There was only one way to find out.

Slowly she was able to shake the sheet off and get her protesting legs to hang off the side of the bed. Standing up revealed she was still a bit dizzy. Judging by the pain and dizziness, it was unlikely a dream. It could be a delusion still.

“Anypony there?” she asked. Her throat was dry and hoarse. There was no answer, even the voice of her conscience would have been a welcome relief. She walked over to the door and tried to force it open. It was padded, and beneath that was a thick metal door. It didn’t budge an inch.

There was a simple solution, she would just fire up her horn and magic her way out of this. Even if it hurt or misfired, what’s the worst that could happen? Twilight would end up vaporizing the door instead of blasting it off it’s hinges.

She focused her magic into her horn and unleashed it at the door. Instead of pain or the feeling of a loss of control, the magic vanished as quickly as she channeled it. She tried again, then again and Twilight had no luck.

Bringing a hoof up to her horn she could feel cloth covering it. Something was on her horn. Twilight looked around for a mirror. There was nothing reflective in the room, just books and a few patient-friendly pencils.

With both hooves she tried pulling the cloth off her horn but it was on too tightly. No amount of magic or force removed it.

Something landed on her back and began thumping it. She spun around and sent the rabbit flying.

“Angel?” Twilight asked.

The white rabbit rushed Twilight and bit her. A slow trickle of blood began to flow from her leg. She jumped back when the sharp pain reached her brain.

“Ow!” she shouted. Nothing here added up. Angel shouldn’t be here, she should feel pain, and never in her dreams and illusions had her magic been silenced. “Crap, I don’t think we’re in Ponyville anymore, Angel.”

Author's Note

I've been sitting on the first half of chapter five for weeks, trying to finish the "second half."

As you can tell from the cliffhanger, the poo just hit the fan. So, now I can give you *something* while i finish the second half.

Thanks for your patience! I love you all!