We walked together back towards our home on tha farm, gigglin’ like school foals. Rainbow Dash and Ah had been seein’ each other fer a long time, longer than anypony either of us had ever been with before. We were in love. Head over hooves in love. Every moment of the day we spent in each other’s company. It was like livin’ a dream except better, at least better’n any dream Ah’ve ever had. Rainbow Dash was mine an’ Ah was hers. Ah looked inta her fierce ruby eyes an’ saw more love than Ah was worth. Her love gave me a way ta measure my value. In those strong features, Ah found my strengths and my weaknesses. She was my competitor, my friend, and my lover. As we walked back from Ponyville Ah couldn’t help but feel all loopsy with the emotions she brought out in me. Nopony had ever made me feel that way and Ah wanted it ta last forever.
The night was magic and we were returnin’ from our weekly “date night”, not that we had only one a week, we usually had two or three, but this was a guaranteed night out an’ we always looked forward to it cause it was special. The sun was settin’ and the auburn color flashed fire in Dash’s beautiful multicolored mane. Seein’ her halo’d in light always did somethin’ ta me inside. Ah could feel the stirrin’ start and Ah paused long enough ta kiss those soft lips a’ hers. It never failed ta surprise me how such an athletic pony like Dash could have such tender lips. They were blessed by Celestia it seemed an’ Ah felt my whole body tingle as we shared the moment, eyes closed to stimulatin’ us an’ preparin’ for what made date night so special.
Ah broke the kiss first. Ah was getting’ a little too rowdy an’ there was still a lot of mixin’ ta be done afore this mare was ready for the night ta end. Dash just grinned, her tough exterior showin’ me how well she understood my feelin’s. Dash understood me inside an’ out. We shared more’n our bodies together. We were whole, our jagged edges connectin’ inta each other, creatin’ a whole pony where two irregulars once stood. Ah could tell she was feelin’ tipsy with arousal as well an’ Ah smirked, knowin’ how to strengthen them feelin’s in that wonderful mare. “Race ya to the house, y’old coon hound.”
The look she gave was priceless. It’s how my Dashie always looked at me when Ah challenged her. It felt as if my insides had fallen asleep and were wakin’ up again; all pins n’ needles dancin’ around in my loins. The little light insult was icin’ on the cake an’ Dash’s wry grin told me all Ah needed ta know. Ah broke inta a full gallop, all business for a moment, the sudden burst inta getting’ me a good head start afore Dash had begun. Ah had ta make it seem like Ah was tryin’, though Dash was gonna win; it was the best way to get her motor runnin’. She’d make some inane comment about how great she was an’ Ah’d play my part. It was a game, after all. A game where we both won.
Ah stampeded towards the house at full force, stayin’ just enough ahead ta make it seem real. Ah could hear her hooves thunderin’ behind me and could picture that expression on her face, determination, strength, beauty. The perfect amalgamation of the qualities Ah looked for in a mate. My heart skipped and beat an’ Ah felt my cheeks warmin’ and turnin’ red. Ah slowed slightly, breathin’ hard, which wasn’t a stretch as Ah’d overheated at thoughts of my love, but playin’ it off as if’n Ah wasn’t in as good a’ shape as my competitor. Ah saw her blue streak pass me by just a few dozen feet before the finish line. It was scripted, Ah reckon she knew it was, but she still turned to watch me take the last few steps behind her.
“You’ve been eating too many sweets, Applejack. Or should I say, Apple Fritter?” Ah loved the incredulous look she gave me, teasin’ and jocular. She took every opportunity to poke fun at my love of sweet apple treats. Ah’d never had to worry about my figure an’ she knew it, but loved ta throw it in my face at any time. “I mean seriously, breathing that hard after such a short race? I thought I saw some jiggling going on in your backside as well. If you’re this out of breath now, what are you going to be like a little later, huh?” Her pokin’ got ta me. It drove me wild an’ Ah gained my composure back quickly, a little too quickly.
“Doncha worry about me, Sugar Cube. We’ll be seein’ who’s gaspin’ soon enough.” Ah wrapped my hooves around her snide expression and pulled her in ta kiss her deeply again, a bead of sweat falling between our lips. Its taste was not unlike honey to me. Ah loved everythin’ about that mare. She was my life. Ah’d do anythin’ for her.
As much as Ah didn’t want to break the moment, it had ta be done. Ya’ see, Dash an’ Ah still had the special part of date night to enjoy an’ we tried not to do it more’n once a week for fear it would get stale. Ah pushed the rainbow mare off to tumble to her backside. “That’s fer sayin’ my backside jiggled. Y’all better take care ta keep yer remarks respectable or yer gonna regret makin’em.” Ah grinned mischeviously, almost able to see how riled Dash was getting’ inside.
“Yeah?” Her cheeks were beginnin’ to mirror mine and Ah knew she was ready; we both were. “What is a fat old farmer like you going to do to stop my lips from waggling?” The look she gave me burned away inhibitions. We could afford ta fall inta character a little early this time. Big Mac, Granny Smith, and Apple Bloom were visitin’ family in Manehattan which left the whole house to me an’ Dash. Ah swiped violently out with a hoof and tagged her cheek pretty rough, a bolt of pleasure spikin’ through my nethers as she cried out from the sudden strike.
“Ah reckon Ah’ll do that.” My voice was heavy and strengthened with iron notes of meanness. She looked up at me, her eyes wide and fearful, one leg comforting the sore spot on her cheek, a slight hint of crimson welling up in the blue fur. She pulled her leg away and saw the light pattering of blood on the fur. Ah knew what was goin’ to happen, Ah’d disciplined Dash many times for her smart mouth. She needed to be taught a lesson sometimes for her rude behavior. She needed to be reminded who was really in charge. Ah narrowed my eyes at her, darin’ her to challenge my authority; it tore me up inside when that grin spread across her lips.
“Using your weight to your advantage, huh? There’s enough of it, you fat bitch.” Dash really knew how to turn me on and that little remark spurred my lust violently, earning her another clap across the face, careful not to leave visible bruising. We’d learned what was too much before and bruises were never fully believed when explained. If it hadn’t been for our overt love for one another, Ah probably would be believed to be an abusive lover, which Ah suppose wasn’t altogether incorrect, but the abuse was wanted and encouraged.
“Ah think ya need ta be taught not ta run that smart mouth a’ yers, Sugar Cube. Get inside!” Ah pushed Dash towards the door, followin’ her inside, and probin’ her forward roughly with words and hooves.”
“Please, AJ, I’ll be good. You don’t really need to take me … there … do you?” Her voice was drippin’ with sexual honey and she really hammed it up. Ah loved her for that, feedin’ that little piece of me Ah hid from the rest of the world.
“Oh y’all’ll be good from now on, Ah promise ya that. Y’er not gonna run that mouth for a while after this. Get inta the cellar.” Ah saw her tremble at the mention of the cellar. She loved it, her shameful secret blossomin’ before me. Ah followed after her down the wooden planks that led to the dirt floor of the cellar. A couple steps from the bottom, I gave her rump a hard shove, sendin’ her sprawlin’ inta the darkness ta crash inta the cold earth below. She made a whimperin’ sound and Ah couldn’t help but grin. Ah loved that mare. Ah left the pull-string light dead, kickin’ in the darkness at the sounds of my love’s skittering. “Git, varmint! You know where we’re goin’.” We both could find that room blindly; we’d been there many times before.
My eyes adjusted to the nearly lightless room and Ah nudged the padlock that kept the room at the far end of the cellar locked. We were fortunate that Apple Bloom was frightened of the cellar and couldn’t be pushed to enter it under any circumstances. Big Mac, the big softy, was the same. He was afraid of the earthy atmosphere, saying it reminded him of a grave. Granny was too old to be climbin’ all those steps, which meant the only ones who ever went into the cellar were Dash and myself. It was the perfect place for our dirty little secret. Still, Ah hid the keys inside a bucket of brackish water. Ah dono exactly what was in it but algae had grown a skin over the top and it smelled somethin’ foul. It was perfect. “Fetch the keys, Dash.”
In the darkness, Ah couldn’t see her expression but knew it was one of everlastin’ shame and humility. Her hoofsteps loped forward, and Ah could feel somethin’ inside drawin’ tight as she moved closer to the bucket. For a second everythin’ went quiet an’ Ah thought Ah’d explode in anticipation. The thick sploosh of somethin’ large bein’ dunked into the bucket made me audibly grunt. The thing inside that had been tightenin’ was threatenin’ to break, it hurt but felt incredible at the same time. Another splashin’ sound echoed in the cool air of the earthen cellar an’ Dash coughed an’ made a retching noise through clenched teeth. She had the key in her muzzle Ah was sure. Ah could barely make her out as she returned to me, the stench of the algae filling my nostrils. I held my false temper, smirkin’ to myself, waitin’ to degrade the pegasus again.
A clankin’ sound came to my ears; she’d dropped the key at my hooves. “Here, AJ, I’m sorry. Please don’t make me go in there. I’ll be good. I promise.”
“Yer promises are worthless. The only way y’all ever learn is through punishment.” Ah aimed low with my kick; in the darkness mistakes could be made too easily and Ah didn’t want to blacken her gorgeous eyes or swell her honeyed lips. Ah think Ah connected with her leg and she cried out, a little too loudly. She was overplayin’ her part, which was really turnin’ me on. “That didn’t hurt that bad. Don’t try an’ trick me inta bein’ easy on ya.”
“Sorry, AJ. I’m so sorry. Don’t unlock the door.” The way she begged was back on target and she sung to my desires the same way I was singin’ to hers. As Ah said, we fit each other well.
Ah unlocked the door with the key, the foul flavor of the thing a mix of metal and filth. It was a stipend Ah was all too willin’ to pay for the pleasure that awaited inside the room. The wooden door swung open on rusted hinges, an ear rapin’ scream coming from the aged device.
“Damn, AJ. We really have to get that fixed. Apple Bloom or somebody might hear that thing one day.” Dash broke character, she had a point; but at that moment, Ah was too aroused ta care, especially since they were hundreds of miles away in Manehattan.
“Shut yer fuckin’ mouth, Dash! Ah didn’t say y’all could speak.”
“Oh, sorry. My bad.” Dash cleared her throat and Ah saw her form slink towards the floor in a vacillatin’ manner, getting’ back into character. “Don’t … hurt me, please.”
Ah followed her inta the room, shutting the door an’ sliding the old-fashioned latch behind us before pullin’ on a chain ta light the single hangin’ electric bulb. We had a lot of toys down here. Personal playthings that most females would have, but then a collection of more adamant toys designed to restrain, blind, and extract pleasure in methods most deemed foul. One of my favorites was the last two feet of a whip Ah had used in rodeo tournaments for years until it broke. Now Ah used it ta bring welts across Dash’s back. Dash, however, liked the stick pins and often requested the use of other things. There was a chain with a collar that hung from a support beam and the far wall had leather belts about halfway up it to lock hooves in place. We’d use’em both afore we were finished with one another.
Dash was lookin’ at me expectantly, a little question in her eyes mixed with the lust. She must have seen me lookin’ around the chamber. “Donch’all be lookin’ at me like that!” Ah grabbed the broken whip and lashed it across her shoulder and back, it didn’t crack like in the rodeos, its length making the sound impotent. It still did the trick though; Dash squalled loudly, bein’ home alone allowed her to get as high volume as she wanted. Ah’d caught myself enough times on accident with a whip to know that her flesh was sizzling from the strike. Ah could see tears formin’ in her eyes and her teeth clenched but her mouth retained the grin she had been wearin’. She loved pain. It was her thing. Sometimes it scared me how far she would go, but at the same time it always left me cravin’ more. We fed off one another’s dark secret and it was beautiful to us.
She began to tremble, spilling apologies and fallin’ to the floor in submission. She begged me not to strike her again, which of course meant she wanted more. I lashed her several more times, her coat unable to hide the lines of stingin’ skin underneath. They would dissipate in the night, leaving only soreness and maskin’ what we had done, but for now every inch of her agony stood out and made me shiver in pleasure. Ah kicked her roughly in the shoulder and hauled her, wailin’, to the wall. Ah locked her hooves in the belts and left her standing on her back legs, tears streamin’ down her cheeks.
Ah grinned at her, she couldn’t stay in character totally, her grin tore through the disguise. She was lovin’ it; her body screamed in agony but she enjoyed the pain. Her shoulders trembled, the welts standin’ out in pink against her blue-coated body. She was the most beautiful thing Ah had ever seen. My heart fluttered for a moment and Ah cocked an eyebrow in question for what she had in mind for this week’s date night. She smirked at me, always saying Ah was too indecisive, and looked around at our toys that decorated the walls. Her sick smile widened and her gaze snapped back ta me, wipin’ the grin from her lips and hangin’ limply in the restraints. “Oh, Applejack. Please, whatever you do, don’t cut me again. I won’t say anything bad about your fat rump again.”
Ah chuckled before Ah could get back into character. Dash was pretty extreme in her cravin’s. Cuttin’ her was somethin’ Ah typically wouldn’t have done, but she requested such things often. “Did Ah give y’all permission to talk? And another crack about me bein’ fat? Yer gonna git hurt tonight, Dashie. You’ve got a lot of learnin’ ta do. Ah’d be surprised if yer able to walk by next week afore Ah’m done with you!” Ah stepped up to my love, forgetting the knife for the moment, and lifted her with one leg ta meet me face ta face. Ah put on a sadistic grin and pressed my free hoof inta her throat, effectively cutting her oxygen off. It was one of dash’s favorite punishments and Ah aggressively pressed my lips to hers, our tongues mixing together as she choked, her throat churning against my hoof as she begun to need air again. Ah pulled away as she fought against me, our moment was blissful but her body needed to breath and the pleasure she was getting’ from asphyxiation was becomin’ too much for her to handle. Her eyes widened and stared at me, their knowing love thinly hidden behind the need to suck cool air into her burning lungs. Ah shivered, feelin’ terribly wet as her eyes rolled towards the ceilin’. Ah waited until her strugglin’ began to weaken, signifyin’ she was fading into unconsciousness, before Ah pulled my hoof from her throat.
She gasped and breathed in deep lungfuls of air, her actions regaining their crispness, the motions of a body at full oxygen levels. Her sickening grin had returned and she beckoned me. Ah pressed against her, my hooves explorin’ her body as our tongues flipped around one another. We were both reachin’ our peak excitements and needed a moment to express the love we shared to one another. Ah leaned inta her and pushed her head sideways, licking her lovely ear before whisperin’, “Ah love ya, Dashie. Y’all mean the world ta me.”
Dash twisted her neck an’nuzzled me softly an’ Ah expected her ta say something sweet, some heart-wrenching declaration of her feelings. “You fat fucking hick, I think I’d rather love one of your pigs than you.”
It actually made me angry. I was spillin’ my heart to her and she was darin’ me to hurt her more. It was perfect. The only thing better than inflicting false punishment was givin’ real punishment. She knew me too well, perhaps better than Ah knew myself. Ah snapped my eyes to her angrily. “Y’all wanna play that way, Dash? Y’all just hold still fer a Celestia damn second.” Ah trudged over to the wall and fetched the knife, yankin’ it free of its restraints to return to my lovely Dashie, her smile spiteful and begging for abuse. She wanted the knife; she always wanted the knife. Ah’d heard of ponies in their teenage years cuttin’ on themselves to let out pent up sadness but Dash did it for sheer pleasure. She wiggled in anticipation of her flesh giving to the razor edge of the knife. She would orgasm, she always did when Ah cut inta her. Ah growled and stared inta her eyes, holdin’ her head still and locked in my gaze as Ah pushed the silvery edge of the blade into the pit of her foreleg. We always cut in places that weren’t obvious. We were all too aware of our bizarre fetishes. Her eyes went wide and she cried out. Ah soaked her pain up, drops of blood rolling down the knife and across my hoof as Ah sent the blade in deeper. How she howled, a mix of pleasure and pain as Ah turned the knife down to split her flesh apart. Her eyes locked with mine, Ah loved the sight. She was giving herself to me on a far deeper level than that of any traditional sense and Ah was giving myself to her as well. Her shuddering moan made me grin, she had orgasmed.
Soon after the knife play, we made love. Our kinks bein’ fulfilled and our heated lusts at their respective peaks. As Ah said, we were one. We fit together perfectly. Our bodies, personalities, souls, and dark secrets meshed with one another like nopony else. We were made for one another; the fetishes that had made us different, had frightened us and made us feel isolated, brought us closer together than any other couple could possibly be. Love is knowin’ everythin’ about the other pony and acceptin’ it. Rainbow Dash and Ah didn’t just accept one another; we celebrated one another in our exotic eroticisms and found our one and only within. Ah love Rainbow Dash with every ounce of my bein’.
***
That’s how Ah think of my Dash. That’s what Ah remember when Ah think about what’s wrong now. Dash fulfills me. She makes me complete and Ah love her completely … so why has she become so distant?
Ah don’t understand what’s been wrong with the last few months but Ah feel that every day that passes is a hammer drivin’ a wedge further between us. When Ah look into her eyes Ah don’t see the love Ah used ta. Despite my attempts ta coax out what Ah’ve done an’ repair it, Ah cain’t bring a smile to her face. She pretends, goin’ through the motions of caring, but Ah know her too well to be fooled by her farce. Ah just don’t feel her love anymore. Ah feel alone again, like before. Ah’ve got ta figure out what’s eatin’ at Dash or else Ah think it may separate us permanently. Whatever she’s goin’ through Ah want to be there with her and fer the first time in our relationship Ah feel outside lookin’ in. We’re supposed ta be a pair, inseparable, and it’s tearin’ me up ta watch her hurt and be unable to help. Until Dashie and Ah connected, Ah’d never felt at peace. My … desires have always made me feel segregated from even my closest friends. That’s why Ah spent so much time workin’ on the farm alone. Ah felt different, sick, a freak. Then Dash happened … Ah finally have a soul mate. A pony who loves even my most heinous screts and Ah cain’t lose her. She makes me whole.
It started with moments where Dash asked to be by herself. They were easy enough ta give. Sometimes everypony needs a little time to themselves and Dash is no exception. Ah would kiss her and let her go about her business, usually flyin’ to a nearby cloud. Ah don’t know what she did up there, but she’d come back feelin’ better an’ Ah didn’t question her. There were no secrets between us an’ Ah didn’t feel the need to pry in her business.
After that, she started started lookin’ a little mopey at times, like her pet had just died or somethin’. Ah’d ask and she’d just tell me she didn’t feel well. Ah figured she was gettin’ sick. She just needed some rest an’ she’d get better. After about a week, Ah told her she should see a doctor if she was feelin’ sick an’ she told me she wasn’t feelin’ sick, she just didn’t feel well. Ah knew somethin’ was wrong and Ah asked how Ah could help, but she just told me Ah couldn’t. She had been requesting more severe punishments when we ventured inta the cellar. After a while her depression got ta me and Ah’ll admit, Ah get flustered and we had a little bit of an argument.
For a few days Ah didn’t talk to her much. Ah apologized later and she nodded, her eye still downcast and sorrowful. Ah’ve never felt like Ah wanted to cry so much. Ah was such a jackass. She was feelin’ bad and Ah went and yelled at her about it. It was stupid a’ me, but Ah was tryin’ ta make up for it. Ah’d slept on the couch several times in our relationship, Dash could be hot-headed and Ah could be stubborn, so arguments happened. Those two nights had been the worst cause even when Ah’d slept there before Ah was whole. Ah was fit ta be tied, but Ah was whole. Those nights, Ah wasn’t. It was the first time since she and Ah had started livin’ together that Ah felt alone again, like part of me was missin’.
After Ah apologized, we started sleepin’ together again an’ Ah felt complete once more. My legs wrapped around her muscular blue body, those multicolored strands of mane ticklin’ my muzzle. Ah’d kiss her neck, pullin’ her close ta feel her warmth, makin’ me feel accepted. Most of the time she’d respond, an’ Ah thought things were getting’ better. We’d kissed an’ explored each other like first timers. Neither of us had much of a stake in normal lovemaking, but we did it nearly every night that week. It was beautiful an’ Ah felt closer to her than Ah had in a while. We even forgot about date night, leavin’ our fetishes behind for a week to reinvigorate within each other’s legs. Still, Ah had missed the specialty sex that we had in the cellar an’ when the next week came Ah was rarin’ ta go. Dash seemed a little off that night but Ah didn’t think nothin’ of it, until later.
Ah woke up an’ she was cryin’ ta herself. Ah leaned over an’ lay my leg across her, tuggin’ at her ta turn and talk ta me. “Dashie? What’s wrong, Sugar Cube?”
‘Don’t touch me, Applejack!” her words were like ice and she batted my hoof away, voice trembling.
“What? Come on, now. It’s okay. Ah’m here. Tell me what’s wrong.” Ah didn’t know what else ta say. Ah just knew Ah was supposed ta comfort my lover when she was sad, sick, or hurt. She was as much a piece of me as my hooves or heart.
“Keep your filthy hooves away from me! It’s your fault, AJ.” Her accusation, whatever it was about, cut me deep. Far deeper than Ah’d cut her earlier that night. Ah felt like cryin’.
“What? What’d I do, honey? Whatever it is Ah’m sorry. Just tell me …”
“Fuck you. I need to be away from you right now, I’m going downstairs. Don’t follow me.” Ah was dumbfounded. Ah still am. Ah don’t know what Ah did ta make her so upset. She left the house that night and didn’t come back til nearly supper the next day.
Ah don’t know where she went. Ah thought about askin’ her but Ah didn’t want ta make her think Ah didn’t trust her. Worms were eatin’ at me. Ah screwed up big time, but Ah don’t know how. Whatever Ah did, Ah’d fix. Ah’ve been tryin’ since then. We still share a bed but we ain’t fooled around since that night. We ain’t done anythin’ normal or special since then. She’s within my reach, a dark cloud resting over her, but she won’t let me help her or touch her. It’s been drivin’ me crazy. My heart is just a lump of iron an’ Ah’ve taken ta working alone again. Ah try every day to talk to her an’ she talks back but her heart isn’t in her words.
***
We sat at dinner, her body close enough to mine that Ah felt her warmth. Ah engaged in conversation with Big Mac and the rest of the family. They had long since returned from their trip an’ life was normal again, except for the distance between Dash and myself. Ah did a good job of playin’ happy but Ah think the others know somethin’ ain’t right. They don’t know what, but Ah’ve been asked a couple of times if everythin’ was ok. Ah just tell’em what they want ta hear and they nod their heads and leave me alone. Dash hasn’t been very talkative lately. Until the last couple of weeks she, at least, acted normal to the family but now she’s been silent to everypony. It’s like she thinks she’s alien to them. She’d told me that she felt that way before we got together and bein’ with me made her feel accepted. Ah’m afraid she don’t feel fer me anymore and she’s gonna leave. Ah’ve got ta talk to her.
Apple Bloom was yammerin’ on about something she did with Scootaloo earlier when she turned to Dash and said, “What’s wrong with ya, Rainbow Dash? Y’all’ve been mighty quiet fer a while. Y’ain’t hardly touched yer food neither. Ain’t ya hungry?” Ah was a little upset at how direct Apple Bloom could be, but Ah found myself wishin’ Ah could be so innocent.
Dash looked up, her crimson eyes floated in pain. Ah think Ah was the only one who could tell an’ my heart ached. Had Ah really caused this much pain to my lovin’ pegasus? What had Ah done to her? Ah kept thinkin’ she’d just tell me if Ah waited long enough and gave her space, but she hadn’t an’ Ah’m so scared the next thing she says to me will be ‘we’re finished. I don’t love you.’ She put on a weak smile for my sister; Dash loved the filly like her own child an’ didn’t want to scare her. “I’m fine, Cowpoke.” Dash used her nickname for Apple Bloom and it helped ease the filly.”I’ve just been a little off lately.”
“Well, Ah hope ya get ta feelin’ better. The Harvest parade is comin’ up an’ Ah was hopin’ ya’d help me and my friends build a float.”
“Sure I will. It’ll be the best float in the whole parade. You can count on it.” The falter in her words was nearly imperceptible but it was there. The others smiled and began talking about the harvest parade. Ah reached over with my foreleg and touched Dash’s. Ah just wanted to hold her, show her how much Ah appreciated her, but she pulled her leg away. Ah tilted my head to her, taking her form in an’ hopin’ she’d turn ta face me. She pushed her plate back and stood up. “I’m going to go upstairs. I’m not feeling great tonight.”
Ah watched as she slowly mounted the stairs, head down and moping.
“Ah sure hope she gets ta feelin’ better. It ain’t like her ta not eat.” Apple Bloom was an observant little pony.
“Ah’m gonna go check on her. Can y’all get the dishes, please?” Ah didn’t wait for an answer. Ah was gonna fix things tonight. Whatever had caused this rift between us would get worked out. Ah’d given her space an’ time an’ she still seemed a thousand miles away. Every moment of loneliness flecked away at the confidence Ah held built with the help of Dash’s love an’ understanding.
The stairs creaked as Ah climbed them, their cries not unlike those echoing in my mind. The longing to see my Dash smiling at me, really smiling, and feeling herself once more made my breast ache. Ah paused outside of our bedroom door and took a deep breath before nudgin’ it door open. The lights were off and the only light was what came through the openin’ door, a single crooked line that seemed to guide me to the bed. It started at my hooves and came to rest on the bulgin’ blankets where Dash was layin’, facin’ the far wall, her back to me. It was as if fate were tellin’ me what Ah needed ta do. Tellin’ me that Dash was mine and Ah was hers forever. We were s’posed ta be together. Two sides of the same coin. I stepped into the room and shut the door behind me, extinguishin’ fate’s helper and walked softly to the bed, slidin’ n’under the blankets to press against my one and only.
She didn’t recoil, her body soft and warm as it fit against mine. Her sweet scent filled my muzzle and Ah couldn’t help but spill a few tears. Ah’ve always been known as a tough pony, but Ah have feelin’s and mine were achin’ somethin’ awful. This was the closest Dash an’ Ah had been in nearly two months and Ah couldn’t help but break a little. Ah lay my head against her neck and nuzzled behind her ear softly. Ah hadn’t understood how much Ah had needed this closeness until then an’ Ah wanted it ta last forever.
“AJ, please … Don’t touch me.” Her voice was weak and pitiful. Ah nearly pulled away but my heart, full for the first time in forever, begged me not to turn from her. Ah wrapped my legs around her and lightly tugged at her, salty beads drippin’ onto her neck.
“Dashie, Ah love ya, Sweetheart. Ah … Ah don’t know what Ah’ve done ta hurt ya, but Ah want to make things right again. Yer my everythin’, ya know that. If’n Ah’ve done somethin’, please tell me. Ya said it was all my fault an’ … Ah’ve felt like Ah did before we started seein’ one another. Ah know y’all are feelin’ the same way. How can Ah fix this?” Ah don’t know if it was because my voice was shakin’ or if she connected with me again momentarily, but instead of askin’ me ta leave, she rolled ta face me, kissin’ me hard and pullin’ me inta her. Ah tasted salt and knew she’d been cryin’. Ah hoped my sincerity had won her affections back an’ we could resume our happy lives together.
Dash refused to let go a’ me and pressed her body against mine, Ah began ta feel warm in my loins. She finally broke our lips’ embrace an’ rolled on top a’ me. Her eyes were puffy from cryin’ but she looked seriously down at me. “Do you love me, Applejack?” Ah was astounded at her question. How did she not know the answer to that question.
“Ah love you more than life itself, Rainbow Dash. I want ta …” She covered my mouth with a hoof and cast her somber eyes down ta mine.
“Make love to me. I … I need to feel something again. Make love to me like this is the last night we have left.” Ah was confused but Ah needed ta feel somethin’ again too. We only had one another an’ Ah meant to show her ever bit of emotion Ah had for her. Whatever had caused her to doubt my love would be expelled forever. Ah took her in my arms and kissed her deeply, tastin’ her sweet flavors.
We made love for hours, true love, not the special fetish love that made us feel alien to the world. Ah put everythin’ Ah had into those few hours, determined to show my wonderful pegasus everythin’ Ah had inside for her, because of her. It was bliss an’ all my doubts disappeared as we caressed and loved one another, my heart feelin’ light as a feather, magical. There was nothin’ in this world Dash an’ Ah couldn’t face as long as we were together. We truly were supposed ta be together. Nothin’ could break our love for one another.
Ah fell to my side of the bed, body sizzling in exhaustion and pleasure. Ah’d given everythin’ Ah had an’ sleep was comin’ on quick. In a few seconds, Ah’d be sleepin’, heart full and secure in knowin’ that my Dashie still loved me. Ah just needed to feel her again, touch her and hold her as Ah drifted off ta sleep. Ah rolled, my foreleg coming ta rest over her warmth an’ her downy soft feathers ticklin’ my tummy. Ah started to giggle and leaned in ta kiss Dashie’s ear when Ah heard it.
She was cryin’. Her sobs were gentle; she was hidin’ it from me. Ah dared ta think Ah had touched her so sweetly that she was overcome with emotion but Ah knew better. She was upset an’ doin’ her very best ta keep me ignorant of it. Ah panicked. Hadn’t we just spent the best night of our lives together? We had done it without our kinks, it had been the sweetest lovemaking we had ever done, an’ she was still fallin’ apart? Ah felt doubt grip me again an’ Ah sat up, rolling her over to face me. “What’s goin’ on, Dashie? Wasn’t … Didn’t that prove how much Ah love ya?”
Her eyes floated in tears an’ she looked away for a moment as she gathered her words. It frightened me, Dash was the strongest pony Ah’d ever met an’ she had never had trouble voicin’ her opinions before. Whatever she needed ta say was likely ta be some of the worst news Ah’d ever heard. She turned her gaze back to me an’ a disgusted look took the gentleness from her features. “I didn’t feel a thing, Applejack. Not a thing.”
My heart fell apart, shattered in the depth of sadness that was my Dashie’s words. Ah stared, unbelievin’ly, down at her. How was it possible she didn’t feel anythin’ from what we had done? “How? Don’t ya love me anymore, Dash?”
Her expression softened an’ she grabbed me, yankin’ me to her. Ah heard her sobbing heavily, her heart pattering rapidly in her chest as she spoke brokenly, “I … I do love you, AJ. I know I do … I just can’t feel it anymore. There’s something wrong with me, Applejack. Seriously wrong.”
“Waddya mean, Sugar Cube? Ah’ll help ya. Ah promise.” Ah pulled away from her grip, looking inta her eyes. Ah felt like Ah was about to fall apart as well. Already my eyes were getting’ wet and feelin’ like cotton. Ah reached out and stroked her rainbow mane with a shaky hoof, barely holdin’ myself together.
“Applejack, I haven’t … I haven’t felt anything in a long time. I know that I love you, but I just can’t feel it.” She was strugglin’ with her words, the depth of her sorrow makin’ it hard for her to speak. “The only time I’ve ever felt true love is through pain. It’s always been that way and … I wanted to stop. I wanted to be like everypony else and to feel love all the time and … you did that. You made me feel like I belonged. You made my heart feel like it would burst with love. I loved you every moment of every day. Nopony else has ever made me feel that way.”
Ah couldn’t help but shed tears. Ah knew Dash an’ Ah were connected. She was my special somepony an’ everythin’ she admitted Ah had felt too. Livin’ with Dash was my dream, one that had come true. “So, what’s wrong, Dashie?”
Fresh tears poured from her beautiful ruby eyes and pain like Ah’d never seen before crossed through them. “It’s gone. I haven’t been able to feel that way in a long time. At … first it was just for a few minutes at a time, but it got worse. Pretty soon I could only connect again with that feeling when we were in the cellar. When you whipped me, stabbed me with pins, choked me, or cut me. That’s why I asked you to hurt me more; I wanted to feel love again, but even that isn’t doing it anymore. I feel like I’m dead inside. I know I love you, Sweetie, but I can’t feel it inside. It’s like I’m hollow.”
Ah didn’t know how ta respond, questions poured through my mind. Finally one settled long enough for me ta ask, “What can Ah do, Dashie? How do Ah help you?”
Dash looked hopeless for a moment, her eyes seemingly as cold as she had described. Suddenly her eyes brightened. “I think that I could feel your love for eternity if you did something for me, Applejack.”
A sudden moment of hope stirred within me an’ Ah nodded. “Just tell me what Ah need ta do, Dashie. Ah love you.”
“I know you do, AJ. That’s why …” she pulled me down ta her, bringin’ my ear to her lips and whisperin’ something in my ear that made me rear back, unable to believe what she wanted.
“Dash … no. Ah cain’t do that. Ah know ya like the whips an’ stuff but … Ah just cain’t.” My mind was frenzied, unable to process correctly. My love’s sad eyes filled with tears and she rolled to her side, givin’ up on her missin’ emotions.
“I … I know it would work, AJ. Our love would be eternal. I’d carry my love for you for all time, nothing could stop it. My mind is sick, my love. It’s the only way I’ll be able to retain my love for you. Otherwise, I’ll just become dead inside again.” She turned back to me, a glimmer in her eyes caught me and Ah knew all too well how true her words were. “And you’ll become empty again as well. My inability to love you will drag you down with me. AJ, I don’t want that to happen to you. Our love will never die if you just do what I’ve asked.”
Ah shook my head, getting’ out of the bed and standin’ in the room, a thousand fuzzy thoughts burnin’ through my head. Would Ah do anythin’ to make my Dashie happy? Ah’d been sayin’ it for so long that Ah believe’d it, but when it came to it, would Ah? Ah needed space. Ah needed ta think. “Ah … Ah gotta think about this, Sugar Cube.” With those words Ah ran from the bedroom where my lover lay with a broken heart. Ah escaped inta the night and ran into the orchard. Confusion made me doubt everythin’. Had she asked me to do that? Was Ah losin’ my mind? Ah don’t know how long Ah was there before sleep found me but Ah was grateful when it came.
The sun woke me, scorchin’ rays of mornin’ sun burnin’ my eyes and obliteratin’ my moment of respite from the misery Ah was feelin’. Dash’s request haunted me as Ah went about my work. Ah didn’t know what ta tell her. She was right, Ah had been driftin’ back to how Ah felt before ah met her. The sense of loneliness and segregation weighed upon me far heavier than all the apples in the orchard. As the day went on ah decided to try an’ restore Dashie’s emotions that night. It was our date night after all. If she could only feel while under pain, Ah’d work the love from her hide. It had ta work. It was the only thin’ Ah knew ta do ta help my lover. Ah’d make her feel again tonight.
***
Ah’d planned out the night all day. Ah went inta Ponyville and bought some tickets fer a show in Canterlot, as well as booked a room for Big Mac, Granny Smith, and Apple Bloom, so that Dash an’ Ah could be alone. Ah told’em that Dash an’ Ah needed some time t’ourselves ta sort out some problems an’ they were more’n happy to spend a night in Canterlot seein’ a show, eatin’ some fancy food, an’ sleepin’ in a nice hotel. Ah couldn’t shake how odd it was that Dash an’ Ah only wanted ta be at home alone so her screams could go unabated. It really made me remember how different we were from other ponies. How mentally sick we were.
Ah watched’em go an’ returned home ta find Dashie. She was still in bed. She was becomin’ useless. Ah didn’t disturb her yet, gently shuttin’ the door an’ headin’ back down the steps. Ah reckon she couldn’t go back to her old life knowin’ how love had once felt. Ah understood, the weight Ah had pressin’ down on me was crushin’. Ah could barely breathe sometimes. Ah went down inta the cellar and unlocked the door to our room, gettin’ my whip an’ marchin’ back upstairs.
Ah paused outside of our door ta gather myself. Ah couldn’t look upset. Ah had to get inta character. If Ah was good enough, Dashie would love me again. This was it, my best attempt ta help the only pony that stirred my heart. The only pony who loved me for who Ah was and made me feel special.
Ah kicked the door so hard Ah thought it would fly from the hinges. It bounced against the wall but the hinges held. Dash jerked her head up, she looked terrible. She looked as low as Ah’d ever seen an’ if it wasn’t for the knowledge that this was my last shot at helpin’ her, Ah would’ve broken inta tears right then. Somehow, Ah managed ta stay in character an’ stomped angrily towards her. “Ya lazy good fer nothin’! Get outta that fuckin’ bed or Ah’ll whip the hide off’n ya.” Ah didn’t wait, lettin’ the whip snap out, tearing hot scorches across her shoulder and tummy. Dash screamed and Ah grinned, searchin’ her features for the telltale grin that meant her juices were flowin’. Ah’d make her love me.
Dash’s expression was still down but she was becomin’ active. Ah let the whip call out its hissin’ warnin’ as it tore through the air, it slapped painfully near the mark that was already standin’ bright red on Dash’s cyan coat. Another howl of agony escaped my love and Ah noticed the beginnin’s of a smile formin’ on her cheeks.
Ah wasted no time, stormin’ up to her and slammin’ her against the far wall, her breath blasting from her lungs, to leave her gaspin’ for a breath. Ah snarled and brought my hoof across her face, not holdin’ back this time. We had explained bruises before and if it meant breakin’ the curse that had fallen upon her, it was worth it. Her head jerked violently from my blow, my hoof stained with blood as Ah brought it the opposite direction to knock her from her hooves. “Stand the fuck up. Ah’m gonna make y’all love me.” The violence was hardher than anythin’ we’d done before. These weren’t the regular love taps of our game; these were haymakers that made her brain wobble.
She struggled for a moment, regainin’ her senses from the mighty blows Ah had landed. As her lucidity returned, the grin Ah loved ta see spread across her bleedin’ jaws. She was enjoyin’ it. Ah knew she would. She became rebellious, cinchin’ the knowledge that she was feeling something again. “You will never make me love you, Applejack. You are too much of a pussy to do it!”
Ah wrapped my pleasure whip around her neck and pulled it tight, growin’ wet from her chokin’ sounds as the leather restricted her breathing and bit into the flesh of her neck. “Git, varmint!” Ah made her crawl from the room, only releasin’ the whip when she crossed the threshold to the hallway outside the bedroom.
“You’re …” her words were broken with coughin’ fits, her throat probably swellin’ some from the abuse. “ … too … weak to hurt … me.”
It felt good ta be talked to that way. Dash was lovin’ this, soakin’ it up like a sponge. Ah was fillin’ her with love an’ makin’ her forget the last few dreary months, Ah knew Ah was. “We’ll see, won’t we?” Ah grabbed her with my teeth, getting’ a mouthful of multi-hued mane and yankin’ her viciously to the stairs, releasin’ her and turnin’ quickly to applebuck her roughly down the stairs. Ah heard her shocked cry falter and cut short as she landed hard and rolled down the wooden steps. She whimpered at the bottom and Ah grinned down at her, one of her legs seemed to hang at an odd angle. It had probably broken from the fall. Ah felt a pang of guilt but knew Ah couldn’t stop, her eyes were bright, illuminated with pain. Her grin burned into my mind, the pain was givin’ her everythin’ she wanted. “You’re gonna do it!” She called up at me, her voice pained but loving. “I love you Applejack! I love you!”
Ah ran down the stairs, bringin’ my head down hard to slam against hers. Ah’d never head butted anypony before and it made me regret doing so. My world filled with stars for a moment and Ah growled, shakin’ my vision clear. “You are so pathetic, Applejack. You can’t hurt me!”
Free of the swirlin’ in my vision, Ah kicked at Dash, forcin’ her to move. She knew where we were goin’ and limped towards the cellar door. Ah flew after her, spurrin’ her on with stingin’ kicks that would no doubt leave blue and brown bruises in her pretty coat. She thought Ah was goin’ to do what she wanted, Ah had to keep it up. If she could believe it long enough, it may release her from whatever imprisoned her emotions.
Ah lashed the pegasus several more times for her sluggishness, takin’ my own pleasure in her howls as we cleared the stairs and lurched towards our pleasure room. Once there, Ah wasted no time in yankin’ a stick from the wall, slappin’ my lover with it, feeling her body give under its sturdy thickness. “Scream, bitch! Scream!” She did, her lame leg wobbled strangely and Ah brought the stick down against it. How she howled. If it wasn’t broken before, it was now. We’d never been so rough before, and ah must admit, Ah was loving it as much as she was at this point. My heart felt as if it could burst from all of the love it held. Anythin’ we had ever done before this paled in comparison, we gave inta out sicknesses completely.
Ah tossed the stick away, pushin’ dash against the wall long enough to latch her front hooves up above her, her injured leg must have been screamin’ as Ah pulled the strap tightly against it. Dash grinned at me, one of her eyes was beginning to close and her muzzle and mouth bled freely, droppin’ streams of crimson liquid down her chest and tummy. Her grin was undeniable; she needed more.
Ah fetched the can of pins and yanked the first one free, three inches of pointed steel held in my mouth as Ah spoke over it. “Beg, Dash. Beg for me ta stop.” Her smile widened and she shook her head in response. Ah stabbed forward, the point of the pin piercin’ the shoulder of the pegasus. Ah didn’t bother askin’ for her ta beg again, sinkin’ the next pin in the opposite shoulder, takin’ a moment to watch the tiny drops of red liquid drip down her body, my loins felt as if they were on fire and Ah could tell Dash’s were too. Ah could smell her response, Ah knew she had already orgasmed from the violence. It made me quiver in anticipation knowin’ my lover was enjoyin’ this so much. The knowledge that her orgasm was caused by me fueled me on.
Ah thought Ah might burst with happiness and ecstasy. It was as if Ah was a balloon filling with water. Ah was swellin’ and swellin’, every second pushin’ me a little further, a little closer to the burstin’ point. Ah shoved another pin into my beautiful pegasus, her screams exciting me further. Ah moved close to her, biting her neck playfully but enough to draw blood. Ah could feel her life, taste it. It was warm and metallic. Ah leaned back and kissed her, mixing her blood between our tongues. Her good eye watched me happily and her sick grin churned my loins like butter. Ah couldn’t help but shudder, my own climax arriving seemingly out of nowhere.
In that moment, Ah knew she was right. This was the peak of our love. This was the feelin’ we could keep forever if Ah did what she wanted. Ah understood why Dash felt the way she did. This was our pinnacle. Our love was brightest here. Our sick secrets had ruined us for others, but we were perfect together. Seein’ her so full of life and ecstasy tugged at my heart and Ah knew Ah needed give her a love that would last for all eternity. All a true lover wants for their significant other is to make them happy forever. Dash was sick, so was Ah. but Dash had it worse than me an’ soon her love would extinguish for good if Ah didn’t do somethin’. Ah knew in that moment that if Ah truly loved Rainbow Dash Ah would have to do as she had asked of me. Ah leaned in to kiss her again, “Ah’m gonna do it, Dash.”
She wiggled in her restraints, crying out a little as the broken bone in her leg began to pierce through the meat toward the surface. “Do it, AJ. Give me eternal love.” Her eyes were alive with excitement and she kissed me back hard. It was all Ah needed.
Ah turned and fetched a hawk-billed knife. We had never used this one before and Ah reckoned it was a special occasion. This was kind of like a weddin’. Ah was givin’ myself to Dashie forever and she was givin’ me all of herself in return. Ah moved back to her, bringin’ the knife down and into her soft flesh, savorin’ her soft moaning. The cut wasn’t deep and she pressed forward, diggin’ the knife deeper into her core, the hooked blade piercing frighteningly close to her organs. Ah held it there a moment, bringin’ my hoof up to manipulate the handle so my mouth was free.
Her muzzle was sweet with sweat, her eyes were wide with anticipation and both of us were tremblin’. This moment would bind us together forever, prove our loves to one another, and fulfill the request Rainbow Dash had asked of me. Ah hadn’t understood until a few moments ago how sacred this was, how special and unique to us as a couple. It was the ultimate display of affection. Ah pressed my lips to her tremblin’ ear, my breath warm and enhancing her pleasure. “Dashie. Ah love you more than life itself. Wait for me on the other side, Sugar Cube.”
Dash turned her head and kissed me hard, Ah tasted her tongue and understood she wanted to make this moment as personal as possible. The kiss was my cue.
Ah yanked hard on the knife, feeling it snag something deep inside of my soul mate. The blade was sharp an’ strong an’ its edge only caught for a moment as Ah brought the instrument of love down her chest and abdomen. Her lips clenched to mine and Ah felt her quiver again, having her final climactic moment while kissin’ with me. Ah shivered, another orgasm rocking me, our unison climax making the moment all the more beautiful. The blade ran free beneath her and Ah heard something make a sickenin’ly sweet sound as it slithered from the gaping wound Ah had created in my one an’ only to lay on the cold dirt floor. Ah kissed her harder, hearin’ her muffled cries as the life poured from her. Tears of love streamed from my eyes as her mouth went slack. Rainbow Dash had given unto me all of herself an’ Ah had granted her request, the one that filled her with strong emotions of love as she was carried to the next world. Ah would miss her but knew that we were meant to be together. Somehow, someday, we would be together again.
