Purple Prose, or A Night at the Clopera

by Bradel

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sex, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 5507

Twilight Sparkle wakes up to a very unwelcome idea. Now she needs to find a way to clear it out of her mind. Because if she falls asleep before it's gone, the Princess of Dreams will get to see that idea for herself.

Twilight Sparkle wakes up to an unexpected thought, and now she just wants it to go away. The idea is embarrassing enough: an erotic liaison between herself and Princess Luna. But Twilight's problem runs deeper. She can't ignore this idea, however much she tries. She decides to write it out as a story, to clear the thing from her mind. Now she needs to finish her story quickly – because if she falls asleep before it's done, the Princess of Dreams will get to see that idea for herself.
— Featured on Equestria Daily and Equestria After Dark

Published 2013-03-03 02:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-08 20:54:59 UTC

The Idea (Revised Edition)

– 00:01:30

The sheets on the bed rustled as Twilight shifted in her sleep. One hoof twitched idly, and the murmur of her voice broke the stillness of the library. “...didn’t know you could... Mrmm... No, Luna, don’t... Ohh... yes, better...”

The morning sun crested the hills outside Twilight’s window, bathing the side of her face in a warm glow. As with a cool mist that overstays its welcome, the sun banished the last remnants of Twilight’s dream. She yawned, blinking back sleep and stretching her limbs beneath the covers.

It had been such a nice dream. Twilight’s mind didn’t want to focus on the litany of today’s tasks just yet, so she let it wander for a moment, remembering. She and Luna, having tea at the palace. Jasmine tea. Luna was a wonderful friend. Then they’d brushed each others’ manes, and spent an evening watching the stars from the Canterlot Observatory.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful, Twilight thought, if we could be more than just friends?

Twilight blinked again. Her mind was still fuzzy. That thought made no sense. More than friends? What was that supposed to mean? Well, Twilight knew what it meant. Everypony had needs – she’d found ways of dealing with her own, so they wouldn’t interfere with her studies. But... with Luna? What would that even look like?

Twilight’s mind lurched to life like a sputtering engine kicking into gear. Images exploded in her head. Luna, kissing her under a star-filled sky. Luna, giggling at her embarrassed protests. Luna, laying her down on a warm feather mattress. Luna, stroking her hoof gently across Twilight’s–

As she lay on the bed, Twilight’s eyes grew wider and wider. A familiar warmth gripped her, fuzzing her mind once again. Twilight’s horn glowed for a moment as she levitated a pillow. She mashed it down over her mouth to keep herself from waking Spike.

10:30:00

“Are you sure you’re feelin’ all right, Sugarcube? I mean, I appreciate your help with the apple fritters an’ all, but ever since we started, you’ve been acting as skittish as a sheep in a shearin’ shed.”

“Wha... Oh, it’s nothing Applejack. I just... It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

Applejack gave her a lingering, suspicious stare. Twilight tried to smile back convincingly – then again, how does somepony smile ‘convincingly’ – and after a few seconds, Applejack gave a curt nod and resumed kneading her pastry dough.

Twilight wasn’t fine, of course. She was anything but fine. How could anypony be fine when all she could think about was Luna’s tongue tickling her–

No. I am not going to put up with this anymore. I am done thinking about this. It was just a stupid dream, and a stupid idea after that stupid dream. It didn’t mean anything. I certainly don’t want Luna to... Want Luna to kiss... I mean, I don’t care how pretty her eyes are. Oh, ponyfeathers, but she has such a cute little–

“Umm, Twilight? I think you can stop choppin’ them apples now.”

She looked down. The apples were a mess, more mush than anything else. The knife quivered anxiously in a magenta aura. A thin stream of juice leaked off the edge of the cutting board and across the countertop, falling to the floor and pooling near one of Twilight’s hooves. She couldn’t suppress a nervous giggle.

“You know, maybe you’re right Applejack. I’m... I’m not feeling so great. Do you think, um, maybe you can finish these on your own?”

Applejack’s voice was quiet. “Sure thing, Sugarcube. An’ you know, if there’s ever anything that’s botherin’ you, anything at all, you can talk to me. Right?”

“Of course I know that!” Twilight did her best to sound cheerful. “There’s nothing wrong. I promise. I just... I think maybe I should go lie down.” Lie down. That familiar, unwelcome sensation of warmth surged as she heard her own words. Unwelcome, and yet so enticing. Twilight sucked in an unsteady breath. “I’ll... um... I’ll see you later, okay?”

Twilight turned for the door, moving at a quick trot. For a few moments, Applejack stared after her – and then she, too, left the kitchen, heading in an entirely different direction. Unnoticed, the knife continued its manic attempts at apple-cutting and the pool of juice slowly spread across the floor. After another twenty minutes, the glow around the knife winked out and it clattered onto the cutting board, finally sated.

14:55:00

The flame of the candle danced in hypnotic patterns. Sometimes it crouched low, trembling with excitement. Other times it stretched and soared, teasing the cool air with its warmth and incandescence. There was something fascinating about fire. It was raw, unpredictable. It wasn’t even a thing, as such – just a perceptual accident. A concept given form.

How fitting, then, that she used candles now to hold back the night. For what was night, really? An arbitrary demarcation, no more real than flame, and yet filled with all the wonder and passion of–

No. Don’t think about that. Don’t think about the night. Don’t think about... Luna... Dammit.

Twilight groaned, slumping against the table that bore the candle. She felt like she’d been so close this time. So close to banishing that cursed Idea, the one that had invaded her thoughts off and on for the last fifteen hours. Her whole day had gone to waste because of that Idea. Her useless attempt to help Applejack might have been the worst of it, but she hadn’t been able to focus on anything for more than a quarter hour before the Idea intruded, turning her brain to mush and her...

The feeling of warmth returned. It was becoming as familiar as any lover.

Lover? Where had that word come from? Twilight had never had a...

The warmth intensified.

Damn it, Twilight! Just stop thinking about it!

She took a deep breath. Calm thoughts. Happy thoughts. Books. Books and writing.

Maybe she should just go to sleep. Surely that would drive out the Idea. She could write off today as a loss. A sick day. She’d have to reorganize her schedule to make up for the lost time, but if there was one thing Twilight Sparkle was good at, it was organizing a schedule.

Yes, sleep. Sleep was for the best. She could let the Idea play itself out in her dreams, where it wouldn’t torment her any longer, and then when she woke tomorrow...

Wait. Something in that thought. Dreams. Dreams and... Luna.

A torrent of realization rushed through Twilight. Sleep? That was the worst thing she could do. The absolute worst. Under no circumstances could she let herself sleep. If she fell asleep, even for a few minutes... Twilight shuddered. She couldn’t take the chance. Not until the Idea was out of her system, out of her mind.

She couldn’t risk dreaming about it.

She couldn’t take the chance that Luna might see it.

21:04:57

Twilight gave a very unfilly-like snort, blinking her eyes rapidly. From the loft, she heard the sound of Spike rustling in his blankets.

Was I... did I fall asleep? She looked around the room. The candles all burned at roughly the same height she remembered. No, thank Celestia. She must have nodded off for a moment, but not long enough to start dreaming. She was still safe.

One of her hooves bumped against something on the table.

The table? Yes. I was sitting at the table, and I was... Twilight looked down and saw an inkpot, along with two pages scrawled in still-wet ink. Of course. She had been writing. What better way to clear out an idea than to let yourself explore it fully, in the safety of the written word? No Luna peeking into her dreams. No more moping about Ponyville too addle-brained to think straight. And no more... well... um...

There was that warmth again, starting in the lower half of her body and slowly spreading. Twilight cursed her undisciplined thought process.

No more of that. Clearly that hadn’t helped expunge the Idea the first six times, and Twilight saw no reason to think it would start helping now.

But stories! She loved stories. If Twilight could just channel the Idea into a story and fully explore it that way, it would finally leave her alone. It had to. She blinked again, fighting back a yawn. Her thoughts were starting to dance in circles.

Writing. She needed to write. “Okay then,” she muttered to the silent library. “How far have I gotten?”

My Night with Luna,
by Twilight Sparkle

It was well after sunset, by the time I arrived at Luna’s suite in the castle. I didn’t know why she’d summoned me, but I could hardly turn down an invitation from a princess. The hallway leading to her quarters was strangely devoid of guards. I couldn’t remember seeing this section of the palace so empty before. The sound of my hooves clopping against the marble of the corridor echoed eerily.

When I reached the door to Luna’s apartments, I found that it had been left ajar. Warily, I poked my head inside. “Princess? Are you here? I came like you asked.”

A voice echoed from further into the apartment. “Is that thou, Twilight Sparkle? Please, come in and shut the door behind thee.”

I did as she asked, but Luna didn’t appear to greet me. Nor did she say anything further. This all seemed so very strange. Eventually, after five or six minutes standing in the princess’s foyer, my nerves got the better of me.

“Umm... Princess Luna? Why did you want to see me?”

I thought I heard a faint creaking sound. “Well... Umm. I wondered if perhaps thou couldst assist me with a problem I’ve been having. If thou wouldst come and join me?”

“O-okay.” I felt a bit of foreboding as I moved toward Luna’s voice. But Luna was my friend. Surely there was no reason to be scared of her. Still, when I found the room beyond the foyer dark as midnight, I couldn’t keep myself from shuddering a little.

Luna must have been able to see me silhouetted in the doorway. “Close the door, Twilight Sparkle. I have something I’d like to show thee.”

With no little trepidation, I pulled this door shut as well, leaving me alone with Luna’s voice in the inky blackness. And then, I began to notice them. Scattered about the room were myriad soft points of light, like little stars hanging suspended from the walls and ceiling. My eyes adjusted slowly, drinking in the faint illumination. I must have made some sort of sound, because I heard Luna giggle in response. “Dost thou like them, Twilight Sparkle? I have been working on this spell for the last week.”

“They're beautiful,” I sighed. “Amazing. Is this what you wanted my help with, Princess? I don’t know that I can offer much, though. As far as I can tell, this spell looks... perfect.” My voice seemed to tremble a little, saying that. I didn’t really understand why.

“Umm. No. I wanted thy help with something... rather different, actually.”

My eyes were finally beginning to adjust to the low light. Enough to pick out Luna’s form, anyway. She was lying on a wide bed with sheets that seemed to reflect the starlight. And she was staring at me with deep, unblinking eyes. My heart began to thump a little louder.

Luna’s voice was quiet and tremulous, “Twilight Sparkle... No, Twilight. Wouldst thou be willing to... kiss me?”

“Oh, for pony’s sake,” Twilight muttered. The warmth was back, and particularly insistent this time. “That wasn’t even erotic! What the hoof is wrong with me?”

She needed to finish writing out this damned Idea. She needed to get it out of her head. And that wasn’t going to happen if she kept churning out stale, romantic prose instead of getting to the feathered point.

One of her hooves moved, not entirely of her own volition, and her mind fuzzed into static for a moment. She let out a quiet gasp, and turned frightened eyes on the loft above.

Twilight bit her lip nervously. Spike was asleep. As long as she was quiet. Writing could wait for six or seven more minutes, right?

28:45:00

Quills and Sofas. Quills and Sofas. Twilight needed more quills. Don’t think about the sofas.

Saddlebags empty at her side, she trotted toward the store. A yawn rushed by and overtook her, and she had to stop for a moment to cover her mouth. She had been awake for well over a day, now, and she could feel the need to sleep creeping up on her like some hungry dragon.

The store. All she needed were a few new quills, and then she could go back to the library and continue writing. And then the Idea would leave, and she’d be able to rest in peace.

A rustling in the bushes near the roadway tugged at her attention, but she didn’t look around. She had a mission. This was no time for curiosity.

“I see what you mean, darling. She looks absolutely dreadful.”

The voice was quiet, surely not meant for her ears, but Twilight knew it so well that the voice was easy to separate from the clamor of Ponyville. It tugged at her attention. She knew it had to be talking about her. But this was one time she did not want to learn more about the magic of friendship.

“I dunno, you guys. She doesn’t look any different from how I look in the morning.”

“Um. I think Rarity’s right. I mean... probably.”

“‘course she is, Sugarcube. Rainbow’s just got no notion of how a proper filly ought to behave. Hey, has anypony seen where...”

Twilight’s eyes narrowed with every word, and it was a relief to finally slip out of earshot. She tried to remind herself that they meant well, but–

“Hi there, Twilight!”

Pinkie Pie sprang from the bushes alongside the road and bounced over to join her.

Well, at least it’s only Pinkie. She’s usually pretty easy to deal with.

“So-ooo... What’s wrong with you!?”

Twilight pulled up short, taking the time to shoot the other pony an annoyed glare before continuing along the road. “Nothing is wrong with me, Pinkie. I’m fine. I just want to do some shopping and go home.”

“I dunno... Everypony else thinks there’s something wrong with you.” Pinkie bounced in front of her, forcing Twilight to halt. “Are you sure you’re okay?” She leaned in, squinting at Twilight like a bird examining a worm.

“Yes, Pinkie, I’m sure.” Twilight couldn’t keep the exasperation out of her voice as she tried to push past.

Pinkie let her do so, and resumed walking along beside Twilight. “No, I think they got you. Applejack told us you were acting funny yesterday, and Rarity’s right – you do look pretty beat up. But what I wanna know is, why are your legs all wobbly?”

Why are my... Come to think of it, Twilight did feel a little unsteady on her hooves this morning. She’d gone without sleep this long before, and the fatigue was definitely starting to cloud her senses a little, but going weak in the knees? Twilight had no recollection of that particular effect. “I just... it’s nothing, Pinkie. I just have a lot of work I need to do today. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

“More work for the princess?” Pinkie sounded disappointed. “If she didn’t give you so much to do, you’d be able to to sleep with her.”

Twilight’s legs suddenly felt a lot wobblier. “P-P-PINKIE! What the hoof are you saying?”

Pinkie stared at Twilight in confusion, then repeated herself. “If she didn’t give you so much to do, you’d be able to sleep better. I know, I know, you’re her student and all. But sometimes it seems like the princess is just taking advantage of you.”

Taking advantage of me. Princess. And right on cue, there was that tantalizing warmth. Oh no. No no no no no. Not again.

Legs unsteady or not, Twilight launched herself toward the store at a gallop.

41:19:00

Forty-one hours and nineteen minutes. That was how long had passed since the Idea wormed its way into her head, now. Forty-one hours and nineteen minutes since the last time she’d trusted herself to sleep.

Twilight fought back a yawn while her quill scritched across the half-full page in front of her. Twenty-two more lay nearby, covered in her thin, quick scrawl. Twenty-two and a half pages, of words that nopony could ever be allowed to see.

Forty-one hours and nineteen minutes. Twenty-two and a half pages. About two ponies. And one desperately humiliating Idea.

Counting helped her stay awake.

“C’mon, Twilight. Turn out the lights and come to bed already.” Spike’s restless voice echoed down from the library’s second floor. “Whatever’s got you so upset, it’s nothing a little sleep can’t fix.”

Twilight gave a bitter laugh. If only that were true. “Just a little longer, Spike. I promise.” Just a little longer. She was at the juicy bit, now. A couple more pages and all her problems would be solved.

Luna bent forward, touching her horn to mine and kissing me with all the passion of a warm summer night. Her scent, like blooming lilacs, filled me and surrounded me.

“Oh Princess,” I moaned, my eyes rolling back in ecstasy. “Ohhh, Luna...”

There was a rustling sound as the sheets moved and she maneuvered atop me. The light of the moon cascaded through her starry mane as she began to knock on the door.

What? Twilight stared down at the page. She felt like somepony was stuffing her brain full of cotton balls.

Again, a knock sounded against the library’s door. Overhead, Spike grumbled something unintelligible.

Who in Equestria wants to talk to me at this time of night? She stood and made her way to the entrance, bumping against her work table as she went. It took a few seconds of bleary-eyed fumbling before she could open the door to the library.

“Twilight! Oh, I’d hoped my intuition was wrong, but when I saw the lights on in the library... Darling, you positively must tell me what’s the matter.” Rarity marched inside, a scarf around her neck and a pot of delicious-smelling coffee floating in the air behind her.

Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “Did Applejack put you up to this? Or Pinkie? I thought I told her not to... wait, izzat coffee?”

“Of course it is, darling. You could hardly expect your dear friend Rarity to leave you in such an obvious state of distress without offering her assistance, now could you?” The white unicorn levitated a pair of mugs out of one of the cabinets and trotted to the table where Twilight had been writing.

The sound of footfalls on the library steps announced Spike’s arrival. “What’re you doing here, Rarity? It’s the middle of the night.” The baby dragon’s jaw creaked as his mouth opened in a monstrous yawn.

“I can’t truly say that I know,” Rarity replied as she poured out two cups of steaming coffee. “But when I saw Twilight shopping for new quills this morning, it was obvious from the state of her hair that she didn’t sleep last night. And then she never appeared for our appointment at the spa this afternoon! How could anypony miss a chance at a hooficure, unless something truly dire was happening?”

Twilight rubbed a hoof against her temple. Had she really forgotten to meet Rarity? Well, maybe. “I... Um... I’m sorry, Rarity? But, uh... I'm fine. I am. Thank you for the coffee, and why don’t you head home and get some sleep.”

“Oh, nonsense, darling. I’m here to help!” A mug of the aromatic brew floated toward Twilight. She snagged it from the air and took a grateful sip, feeling some much-needed energy and a very different type of warmth flowing into her. Rarity patted a seat at the table and motioned for Twilight to join her. “Now, why don’t you tell me what’s troubling you?”

Instinctively, Twilight’s eyes went to the pages of text sitting on the table a few feet from Rarity. She regretted the reaction immediately.

Rarity, always with a keen observer’s eye, noticed the look Twilight gave the sheets of parchment. “Mmm. Something to do with these, then?” She reached out with one hoof to pull the pages closer.

“No! I mean...” Panic-stricken, Twilight’s horn flared to life and the pages levitated away from Rarity. To somewhere safe. Like the high shelf above the fireplace that Spike couldn’t reach. “I mean, those don’t have anything to do with it. Actually, there’s no problem at all!” Twilight laughed nervously.

“That’s not true, Twilight. You haven’t slept in two days now.” Spike plopped himself down beside Rarity, stuffing one claw over his mouth to cover another yawn. “And I haven’t seen you write this much since that time you tried to convince Princess Celestia to make the life of Star Swirl the Bearded a required part of the third-grade curriculum for all colts and fillies.”

Rarity sipped at her coffee. “Star Swirl the who, dear?”

Twilight had to finish the story. She had to finish. She took a long swallow from her own mug, burning her mouth – but by Celestia, the pain would help keep her awake! “It’s nothing. I promise. I'll be fine. Now why don’t you go back to bed, Spike, and I’ll see Rarity out.”

“Nah, I wanna hear what’s got you in such a tizzy. Not like I’m gonna get much sleep with you scratching away down here all night, anyway.”

“Spike...” Twilight growled. “How would you like it if I told Rarity about the picture you keep under your pillow?”

Rarity blinked. “Twilight? Are you sure you're well? Why ever would Spike care if I knew about—”

But Spike was already on his feet, as solicitous a host as ever, thanking Rarity for her kindness and consideration and ushering her toward the library door.

“Wait, but what about Twilight? She’s distressed! She needs me! Spikey, why are you—”

“—was so nice that you came to visit us, Rarity. You’re such a wonderful friend. But you really should be getting home, don’t you think? It’s late, and you need your beauty sleep. I mean, what would other ponies say if they saw the bags under your eyes? We’re your friends, so we don’t care, but...”

“Bags!? Under my eyes!?” Rarity gave a plaintive shriek and hurried out the door. “Why... Of course. Thank you, Spike. Twilight, we can talk about this tomorrow, can’t we?”

Spike closed the door on Rarity without waiting for Twilight to respond. “That wasn’t fair, Twilight. You know how I... I mean, it's just not right, threatening a dragon like that.” He glared at her, looking distinctly hurt.

Twilight sighed. “I’m sorry, Spike. I really am. But you don’t understand – I need to finish this.” She levitated the pages back down from the shelf where she’d hidden them and re-inked her quill.

“Are you almost done, at least? You really do need to get some sleep, Twilight.”

“I’m close, I think. But... Please, Spike. Can you please just go back to bed and let me try to get this stupid story out of my head?”

“I guess... but if your writing keeps waking me up again, you’re gonna be on your own for Reshelving Day tomorrow.” Grumbling, Spike climbed back up the stairs.

Her writing had kept him up last night? That didn’t make any sense. Did it? Her brain felt like a mass of fog. “I promise, Spike. I’ll try to finish as quick as I can.” A magenta glow enfolded Twilight’s horn, and her quill returned to the half-full page before her. She fought back a yawn and took up where she’d left off.

The light of the moon cascaded through her starry mane as she began to ~~knock on the door.~~ caress my hide, her hooves playing gracefully over my sensitive skin.

I reached up and tried to pull her mouth down to mine once more – I was greedy for the sweet taste of her lips, for the warmth of her tongue teasing against my own – but Luna only laughed, nipping playfully at the skin above my hoof. “Hast thou not yet had enough of kissing, Twilight? The night was made for finer things than this. I, of all ponies, should know.”

“But I’ve never... I mean, sometimes with myself maybe... but...” A shudder exploded through my body as Luna did something creative. “I mean... Ooohhhh... Wh-what if Princess Celestia found out, or–”

“My sister knows well of my feelings for thee, Twilight Sparkle.” Luna giggled, leaning forward to kiss me again. Something else moved as well, and I found myself mewling into her teasing lips.

Oh Celestia, the coffee wasn’t helping. Not enough anyway. Twilight looked up from the page to find her mug empty. She felt warmth suffusing her, like a rising tide, and her face was red and flushed. Had the coffee really been hot enough to cause that sort of a physiological reaction? Or was it that other source of warmth – the one she'd come to dread just as much as she enjoyed? Somehow, she couldn't tell anymore.

She blinked heavy eyelids and sucked in a rattling breath, turning back to the page.

Something else moved as well, and I found myself mewling into her teasing lips.

“Truly, thy beauty shines best when thou art so... flustered.” Luna caressed my mane even as she tortured my body with her slow gyrations.

“Please, Luna,” I moaned. “Just get this over with. I need to sleep, and I can’t sleep until you’re out of my head. Or you’ll... umm... be in my head.”

“You’re losing the thread of the story, aren’t you?” Luna frowned down at me. “You know what that means.”

Twilight moaned softly, her eyelids fluttering. Why was it so hard to stay awake? She just needed to make Luna... make Luna...

“Oh, damn it, just take me already! I can’t deal with this!”

“Twilight? Why are we in my bed? And what art thou—”

Desperate, Twilight pulled Luna close and forced their lips together once more. The princess seemed to resist for a moment, but her reticence wavered and soon she was returning the passion in Twilight’s kiss.

“Luna, please! Whatever it is you’re going to do, just do it!” Tears of shame and lust watered Twilight’s eyes. “You have to help me get to sleep!”

Luna grinned, and the bright glow of the moon put a mischievous light in her eyes. “Thou art already asleep, Twilight. But if that is thy desire...”

“No,” she whispered. And again, "No." Mounting horror crept over her, and Twilight’s eyes grew more and more panicked. “No! I tried so hard! You weren’t supposed to find out, not ever!” A sob shook her body, and the tears began rolling down her face.

Luna's eyes twinkled. “But I like finding out!”

The sleeping form of Twilight gasped as if an unexpected wave of pleasure had just flooded through her. The table rattled, knocked about by her unconscious twitching. Her plaintive whimpers rose another octave, shattering the stillness of the library. "H-hh-h-haa... Mmmmm! Ohhhh, Luna..."

Groaning, Spike grabbed an extra pillow and shoved it down over his head.

The Aftermath

98:27:00 / – 00:04:00

Dear Princess Celestia,

How are you?

I'm kind of worried about Twilight. She refused to sleep for a ~~copl~~ few days. She kept muttering about Princess Luna, and she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. So I sent you're sister a letter and asked her to snoop on Twilight and find out what was bothering her.

Well, the problem got ~~resalv~~ fixed. Twilight's sleeping again now. But she's still acting weird, and when ever she goes to sleep, she makes weird noises and keeps moaning about Luna. I can't tell if she's still upset, but now she's keeping me awake at night. ~~It's really frsturat.~~ I don't like it.

Can you check up on her or something? Luna won't answer my letters, so I don't know if she did something or not.

Your loyal dragon,
Spike

Lying on the rug in her bedroom, Celestia read the letter again. She didn't know what to make of it.

The door to the colonnaded balcony opened, admitting both Luna and the light of the morning sun. Celestia's sister looked very well rested, despite having just finished her stewardship of the night.

"Tia! Thy sunrise was most beautiful this morning." Luna pranced across the room to greet Celestia with a friendly nuzzle.

"You're awfully cheerful this morning," Celestia chuckled. "What, did the schoolfoals start offering you candy early this year?"

"Nn-nnn." Luna shook her head and gave her sister a secretive smile, but she didn't offer any further explanation. She began humming to herself and dancing idly about the bedroom, and Celestia turned back to Spike's missive.

"Oh, Lulu, since you're here... Do you remember getting a letter from Spike a few days ago?"

The sound of scrabbling hooves and a dull thump brought Celestia's attention back to the room.

"A letter from... um... Spike?" Luna's voice was muffled by the fact that she'd somehow tripped and fallen into a stack of pillows atop Celestia's bed.

Celestia's eyes narrowed and she rose from the carpet, levitating the scrap of parchment. A suspicion started to take hold in her mind. Luna was awfully happy this morning, and she sounded awfully cagey about that simple question. There was something going on here, and Celestia meant to find out what it was. "You should be more careful, Lulu. It doesn't do, getting snared in your own schemes."

Luna gave an affronted snort, struggling to extricate herself from the pillows. "I have no idea what you mean, sister. It's just that my... knees are a little wobbly this morning." Yes, the younger princess was definitely nervous: she'd slipped into common speech.

"Lulu," Celestia intoned warningly. "You did receive a letter from Spike, didn't you? And you didn't see fit to tell me?" She advanced on her sister.

"I... yes... but it was nothing, Tia!" Luna scrambled off the bed and began backing away, her eyes darting around the room and looking for an escape route. "He just wanted me to watch her dreams. He said she was upset about something. I did, I watched them, and... and she's fine now!" Luna seemed to notice the door to the balcony and began to turn toward it.

Celestia's horn glowed, and the balcony doors slammed shut. "That's not what Spike says, Lulu. He says Twilight – my faithful student – is still acting out of sorts. Are you two planning something? Something I should know about?"

"It's not like that, Tia," the other princess wailed. "I swear, none of it was my idea! I just went to look at her dreams, and she... and she..."

A malevolent smile formed on Celestia's lips. Oh, now this is fun. When was the last time I got to pry a secret out of Luna? Last year, when she tried to steal one of the entries for the National Dessert Competition before it could be judged? Celestia's grin widened. "Tell me now, Lulu, what exactly did my precious student do?"

"I didn't mean to, Tia!" Luna was whimpering now, and she sank to the floor under Celestia's dagger-like stare. "But she dreamed us into my bedroom, and she started kissing me, and... and she begged me to do it! I swear!"

Celestia felt the expression drain from her face. "She asked you to... You mean... You and Twilight...?"

Luna gave a small nod, refusing to meet Celestia's eyes.

"Luna!" Sudden anger filled Celestia's voice. "How could you? I mean... Twilight Sparkle! She's my student!"

"I'm sorry, Tia. I never meant to... It was all... And she's just so... so... adorable! What would you do, if she showed up and started kissing you and begging you to... well... y'know."

"That changes nothing! I mean, Twilight isn't the sort of pony who..." Celestia's voice trailed off into dazed silence, as Luna's words started to echo in her head.

What would you do, if she showed up and started kissing you and begging you to, well, y'know.

Celestia's own knees wobbled as she felt a slow warmth wash through her. A warmth she hadn't felt in close to six hundre—

"Oh no," she muttered. "This is not good."