Chapters Magikarp Is The Best Pokemon
Chapter 1: Truly the Best Around!
“Magikarps for sale! Fresh Magikarps, right from the river and ready for buying!” the Magikarp salesman yelled from his poorly built stand, numerous Magikarp flopping around him. But try as he must, not one customer would stop by to inspect or purchase one of the useless Pokemon.
Noticing a businessman passing by who potentially had loads of cash, the Magikarp salesman grabbed one of his stock and went in the path of the businessman. “Excuse me sir, but you simply must buy one of these Magikarps! When they lay eggs and produce more Magikarp offspring, you can sell them for a profit!” he explained, shoving in the businessman’s face one of floundering Magikarps.
“Uhh... sir...” the businessman said, “I’m here with my children, please, get that sushi out of my face.” He stepped out of the way, revealing the children behind him, each with a Dragonite stuffed figure. Their eyes frightened by the evil seen in the eyes of this Magikarp salesman, the enthusiasm he showed in selling his products towards the people was outstanding.
“But your kids can also buy some Magikarp! I have a buy two get one free deal going on!” the salesman explained, pointing to the numerous Magikarps he had behind his stand. “Really, I’m practically giving them away! Buy them now before I’m out of stock!”
“As if I would like to purchase such a delicate creature like that. Besides, we’re strictly a dragon type only family.” He pushed the salesman out of the way, his children following close behind, hugging their Dragonite toys for dear life.
“Racists! Water types are also cool!” The salesman shouted at quickly retreating family. Now he stared dejectedly at the Magikarp floundering in his hands. “What am I going to do now? I have no more money, and I wasted all my time catching you useless fish? What am I supposed to do?” he asked the Pokemon, as if it could answer his question.
The Magikarp looked at his captor, staring deep into his soul, the guilt was over running his mind, breaking his mentality down.
“Magikarp,” it said with a dry voice.
“Wait!” The salesman yelled at the almost gone family down the street. “What if my Magikarp beats your Dragonite? I’ll give you five for free if you win! If I win, you have to buy five of them! Deal?”
The businessman walked back, a pokeball readied in his hand, “Mister, you got yourself a deal.”
“Excellent! Magikarp, I choose you!” he yelled, throwing his Magikarp for battle. The water type Pokemon landed in between the pair and continued to flounder like a fish out of water... which it technically was.
“Go, Mister Puffins!” The businessman threw out his master ball, his Dragonite surrounding itself in a fiery aura, the ground’s life being sucked in by it’s lovely armour. The splendid dragon type Pokemon was not a force to be reckoned with, his level at 100 and his stats through the roof due to EV training (the most pretentious form of wasting your time battling Pokemon).
“Magikarp, use Splash!” The salesman shouted, his Magikarp using his power, slamming his water power into the fire lizard. It was uneffective, and Dragonite merely frowned in annoyance at getting wet.
“Mister Puffins, use Hyper Beam!” A ball of light began to form in Dragonite’s mouth, getting larger and more bright until he released an almighty beam of pure 150 damage. The beam glared highly, a light that could be seen from the next town over, it burned those around it with its godlike force, and with a 90% accuracy, it hit Magikarp with the force of a nuclear projectile.
As for the poor water type Pokemon, Magikarp was blasted clear into the sky, disappearing into the great blue yonder in a twinkle of light resembling a star. A certain pair of dastardly villains would certainly be proud.
“Oh...” The salesman sighed with grief. There goes his profits for the day.
“Is that all you got?” The businessman gloated, his Dragonite smirking as well.
Well, it seemed the salesman pretty much lost the battle, on the grounds of his Pokemon being blasted off into oblivion. “No, you win,” the salesman groaned. It was a pretty stupid idea to use Magikarp in a battle against a Dragonite. Actually, it was a downright idiotic move made in the heat of the moment.
“Yipee!” The businessman jumped in joy, he had finally accomplished his lifelong dream of winning five Magikarps with his overpowered Dragonite, it was such a challenge that even his children hugged their Dragonite plushies, filling their cold hearts with love and happiness.
But when the businessman ended his jump, he was shocked to discover the shack had a closed sign on it, all the Magikarp and the salesman mysteriously having disappeared.
“No... noooo!” The businessman fell to his knees, grabbing his hair and trying to rip it out as if it would solve anything.
Space. The final frontier. Or to the Magikarp now orbiting the upper atmosphere, its final resting place. But wait, this isn’t the end (because a story ending right here and now would be pretty boring). It was slowly descending back to Earth, a trail of hot fire following behind it.
The air particles around it were sent aflame as it picked up speed, rocketing closer and closer back to Earth. But luckily for it, being a water type, the re-entry back to Earth was ineffective. It just stood still as the G-force got stronger and stronger, the occasional “Karp,” sound leaving its lips as the ground soon got closer and closer.
If a Magikarp falls from the atmosphere at over 1,000 mph and there is no one around to hear it, will it make a sound? Well, this Magikarp was lucky enough for some ponies to hear him. And luckily for Magikarp, crashing to the ground, since it was a ground based attack, was ineffective as well. That’s one damn lucky Pokemon.
“Hey, Twilight, is it normal for comets to appear during the day?” Spike asked the unicorn, squinting to get a better look at the trailing fireball that mysteriously appeared in the great blue sky.
“Why, of course they are, Spike.” Twilight began, “It’s much less common during the day, but that’s only because of the light effects from the heat and the sun conflicting. Why do you ask?”
“Come take a look over here, Twilight.” She directed herself towards the very window that Spike had began his question from. Right before their eyes the comet approached closer to the ground, the sky lighting up from the fire surrounding it.
“Um, Twilight, is it normal for comets to crash land near town?” Spike asked, pointing to the fast approaching fireball.
“Not usually, no. I don’t recall many comets coming close to Ponyville, not even in a book about such a catastrophe happening.” Twilight rubbed her chin in thought, her mind perplexed at such a strange occurrence.
“Well, looks like it won’t exactly hit Ponyville,” Spike said, noticing how the comet’s path wasn’t directed right at the town. “More like it will hit--”
A loud bang could be heard by all, followed by a shockwave of force that cracked the earth and caused many a windowpane to explode in a shower of glass. “... the Everfree Forest,” Spike moaned, now against the wall, having been knocked backwards from the comet’s force of impact.
All around town ponies have been knocked aside from the shock wave, with much damage evident everywhere the eye could see. Broken windows, furniture strewn on the ground and food scattered haphazardly on the floor and its previous eater alike.
Spike got up from his fallen position. “Twilight?” But he was too late, for Twilight had already gotten herself out the door and into the streets of Ponyville. “Twilight, don’t go near random crash landings!” Spike shouted at the doorstep of the library to the retreating unicorn, but she didn’t listen.
Spike sighed and shook his head sadly, running after her while muttering under his breath, “Every week something like this happens. Is it too much to ask for a normal day in this crazy town?” Of course, nopony was around to answer his question. Not like anypony really did have an answer to it.
Twilight ran towards the crash site, sweat forming on her brow from the superb exercise that she had done just then, competing itself with the lack of activity due to the librarian’s habit of staying cooped in all day. Her legs ached, but she pressed onward, and onward she prevailed.
She dodged past confused and startled ponies, jumped over wreckage due to the comet’s crash, all with Spike struggling to follow behind her. Why she didn’t just teleport there, nopony knew. Eventually she ran past the edge of town, approaching near Fluttershy’s cottage which was near the crash site.
She found the location of the comet’s landing near the edge of the Everfree, with trees destroyed everywhere near the area; many were burned or had all their bark stripped from the trunk because of the sheer amount of heat the comet created when it landed. She kept towards the center of where it seemed to have been created from, and there she found what she was looking for.
A crater, its depth seemed to be enormous as she stopped in her path in case she accidentally fell. Smoke poured out from the middle, but still she could get a good look at what was at the bottom. The source of the crash.
“... What the buck is that?” she asked herself, at lost of words to try and figure out what exactly the comet was.
Spike finally caught up to her, huffing and puffing in exhaustion due to his short legs having to do twice the work of Twilight to run after her. “What do you mean?” he panted, wiping off a good amount of sweat from his forehead.
“It looks like a... fish,” she answered, pointing to the center of the crater. “But how can a fish create such a huge crash? And more importantly, how did it crash here in the first place?”
Spike stared deep into the crater, and was just as surprised as Twilight when he spotted what did indeed seem to be a type of red fish with white dorsal fins and yellow whiskers at the very bottom. “I think the better question would be how it’s still alive?” Spike spoke up, noticing how the fish still moved down there.
Floundering around, a noise could be heard from the red fish. It sounded almost like “karp,” for some reason.
“Can we keep it, Twilight? Can we, can we?” Spike begged, his voice sounding that of a filly or colt.
“Spike, that’s potentially dangerous creature that somehow survived a crash from outer space!” Twilight explained to her assistant. “Of course we can! What kind of pony would I be if I didn’t let my assistant have a pet? Plus, this gives me a chance to study it!”
Spike squealed in delight and raced down the crater, eventually reaching the bottom and picking up the mysterious red fish. Groaning from the heavy weight, he returned to Twilight and flung the fish onto the ground. Scratching his head as the fish just flailed on the ground, he said, “How exactly can it still breathe on land?”
“Magic. It would definitely explain how it survived that crash,” Twilight answered, leaving so many questions in Spike’s head. Twilight approached the creature closer, eager to study and inspect this anomaly more.
“Well, okay then. What shall we name it?” Spike asked, poking the fish with an ashen stick.
“Magikarp,” the strange fish said, that word evidently the only one it could it could say. It repeated it several other times, hopping up and down on the ground.
“Let’s name it Paul!” Spike shot out. A little part of Magikarp’s soul died just then.
“You sure?” Twilight asked, rubbing her chin in puzzlement. “It seems like a pretty strange name.” If Magikarp could speak it’d agree with her.
“You... you don’t like it?” Spiked asked, giving her a puppy dog like look.
“Well...” the disappointment in his creativity was clear through her nagging tone of voice, “It’s not bad, it’s just not fitting for a fish.”
“I know!” Spike yelled with glee. “How about Magikarp, you know, since he says Magikarp.”
“Brilliant!” The purple mare exclaimed, rubbing the head of her dragon companion, his scales leaving an odd feeling on her hoof.
“Magikarp! Magikarp!” Magikarp said loudly, its prayers heard by the great Pokemon in the sky, Arceus.
“So, um, you know if its a boy or girl?” Spike asked, poking Magikarp again with a stick, the fish like creature ignoring it as it just went on floundering.
“There’s only one way to find out,” Twilight started, she picked up the creature, moving her hoof down to its tail. “There’s... there’s nothing there!” she said, shocked.
Tugging at one of Magikarp’s whiskers, Spike said, “How about we just say its a boy and not question further?”
“But Spike!” Twilight whined, “It’s just going to pester me until we know for sure!”
“What about it surviving in space and crash landing to the ground and it still being able to live through that?” Spike asked, cocking an eyebrow at her. “Shouldn’t that pester you more than trying to figure out what gender it is?”
Twilight’s eye twitched, it flickered in a creepy fashion as if something inside her broke, perhaps a demon from her childhood being released from the thought of that very question. Whatever it was that caused her to twitch, she kept it barred inside of her, dooming it to never be revealed. “Not really,” she answered.
“Sweet!” Spike replied, hefting Magikarp over his shoulder and running off. “Now let’s go to Fluttershy’s place! Maybe she can tell us what type of fish he is!”
“... why didn’t I think of that?” Twilight asked herself, trotting behind her assistant.
And of course, Magikarp just spouted on about his own name. Well, at least this was better than the salesman... sort of.
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Magikarp Is The Best Pokemon
Chapter 2: Who's Awesome? Magikarp is Awesome!
The walk was seldom and placid for such a strange as hell day, as they headed for the house of their timid friend in hopes that she would know what creature this could be. It could spout a word, one simple word, Magikarp, all the way to Fluttershy’s house. It wasn’t quite a noise that an animal usually produced, but how many animals usually say their own name?
“Wow, is that all he can say?” Spike questioned, still lugging around the large, fish like creature on his back and having a hard time of it.
“Has he said anything else?” Twilight asked, leaving the obvious in the clear for Spike to notice.
“I guess not.” Spike answered, his legs shaking now from the great weight of the Pokemon.
“Hopefully Fluttershy will know.” Twilight took a quick glance at the still breathing fish, “Come on, we’re almost there!”
“Don’t see you helping out,” Spike muttered under his breath, sweating pouring down his face.
“That’s because you have the hands in this relationship.” Twilight pointed out.
Spike rolled his eyes. “And I’m guessing that horn on your head is just useful for popping balloons?”
Twilight gave him a look and stuck out her tongue playfully. “Don’t test me, mortal!” Twilight leaped into the air, pretending she was some sort of goddess with wings.
“Twilight, you’re not a Princess. Also, I’ve found those fake, plastic wings in your closet.” Spike shot her a devious smirk. “Right next to those fanfictions you made about yourself...”
“I told you that was my diary!” Twilight shot back, pushing Spike with her sides.
“Oh really? When exactly in your life did Big Mac break through our wall, dressed as a noble knight? His long, orange hair swaying in the breeze as he took you and rode off into the sunset, whispering ‘Twilight, you are my love forever and totally not an egghead. Now, let us--’”
“We’re here!” Twilight interjected, pointing to Fluttershy’s cottage in the distance, “Now shush, we need to act calm and flutter on in.” Twilight raced to the cottage quickly, clearly avoiding further questions for Spike. She raised her hoof, gave the door a swift and soft knock, and waited patiently.
“And avoiding questions like usual,” Spike muttered, practically dragging Magikarp in the dirt because he didn’t seem to mind.
The door opened to a mere phantom, nothing at the mare’s eyesight, for it was Angel Bunny who opened the door. The furry white critter gave her an annoyed look, but his eyes went wide when Spike finally arrived with Magikarp in tow.
Giving the small bunny her best winning smile, Twilight said, “Hello there. You know if Fluttershy is home? We have a couple of questions.”
“Also, some water would be appreciated!” Spike shot in, wiping some sweat from his brow with his long, snake like tongue sticking out while he panted. “You know, for the fish.”
Magikarp simply floundered on the ground, repeating his own name over and over again. His feeble tone was becoming an annoyance for the three of them in only a short amount of time.
The bunny hopped back into to cottage, giving no clear indication what Twilight and Spike should do, so they followed right in along with him. Fluttershy’s cottage had a plethora of animals inside, which wasn’t much of a surprise since the pegasus was known for her care of the forest critters.
And there was Fluttershy, the yellow pegasus currently feeding a group of squirrels. “Fluttershy, can you help us?” Twilight called out, causing the pegasus to squeak in surprise and nearly jump out of her fur.
Turning back to the pair, she stopped her cowering and blinked, realizing it was her friends. Giving a sheepish and embarrassed smile, she said, “Sorry about that, Twilight. You need my help with something?”
“Remember that comet crash not too long ago?” Twilight asked.
“Oh yeah. It was so scary. All my animal friends started to freak out a little, but we’re all better now.” Fluttershy arched an eyebrow at the unicorn, finally noticing that Spike was also present behind Twilight. “Why do you ask?”
Twilight moved out of the way, revealing a near exhausted Spike carrying a strange, red floundering fish by the tail. “This guy caused the crash. We were hoping you might know what type of fish he is?”
“Um... shouldn’t we put him in some water first?” she asked, uneasy how the fish flayed on the ground.
“Nah. He went over thirty minutes without. Plus, he just came from space,” Spike pointed out. “Either he doesn’t have to breathe, or he can breathe air.”
“Okay then... let me see him closer.” Fluttershy approached Magikarp, but he paid her no mind and just went on and on about repeated his own name. “Is ‘Magikarp’ the only thing he can say?”
“Pretty much. So, know how he survived a crash from the upper atmosphere?” Spike asked, poking Magikarp with his foot.
Fluttershy shook her head. “No creature should have been able to do that. It’s not possible...”
“Fluttershy has a point,” Twilight agreed. “If the no air didn’t kill him, him reentering the atmosphere would’ve burned him to a crisp. Not to mention that crash should’ve flattened him like a pancake. Really, he’s an anomaly stranger than Pinkie.”
“Not to mention I have no idea what fish he could be,” Fluttershy added, tugging lightly at one of Magikarp’s whiskers. “He could belong to the carp family, because of his name and whiskers, but his body anomaly and shape are all wrong. Plus, his colors are way too strange.”
“What about him not blinking?” Spike asked, unnerved by the fact the fish hasn’t closed his eyes once since they met him.
“Well, fish don’t normally blink,” Fluttershy explained, also slightly creeped out by the Magikarp’s unblinking eyes. “But I’ve never seen one with eyes this large or strange before.”
The three remained silent for some time, until Twilight blurted out, “So you have no idea what type of fish he is?”
Fluttershy sadly shook her head, hiding her face behind her mane as she averted her gaze. “I’m really sorry, but I’m just not sure. Maybe he’s some type of alien or something?”
“But how did he arrive here in the first place? Some type of flying saucer?” Twilight scoffed. “He’s a mindless fish by the looks of things. So far the only sign of his intellect is him repeating his own name over and over again. Which is getting really annoying, by the way. So he isn’t exactly part of some advanced alien species.”
“Hey, maybe he is magic!” Spike suggested, snapping his fingers at this revelation. “That could explain how he managed to survive the fall and breathe on land. Hey Twi, can you check if he has any?”
“Well... I can try,” Twilight replied, her horn glowing in preparation for her magic finder spell. It was a simple spell, able to locate any type of magic. It worked in the traditional way of ‘hot’ and ‘cold’ game. When her horn glows blue, she’s ‘cold’, meaning there’s no magic, and red means ‘hot’, which indicates she’s close to magic.
Her horn glowed a light tone of blue. Carefully, she placed it closer towards Magikarp. All that got was her horn to glow deeper shades of blue, until it was nearly black. Which was a pretty good sign Magikarp was anything but magical. Casting off her magic, she said, “Well, he isn’t magical, that’s for sure. Any other suggestions?”
The three returned to silence, quietly watching Magikarp as it floundered about without a care in the world. Eventually, when one of them was sure to crack just staring at him, Spike asked, “Maybe we should feed him something?”
“Worth a try. Might get him to do something else for once,” Twilight agreed.
“I’ll go get some fish food then,” Fluttershy said, flying away to acquire some food for the fish. Returning with a canister of fish feed, she shook it in front of Magikarp. “Hey Magikarp, are you hungry?”
“Karp, karp. Magikarp,” he said, the only words he could say, actually.
“I take that as a yes.” Fluttershy opened up the canister and poured some of the feed in Magikarp’s mouth. The fish opened and closed his mouth, gobbling up the food in mere seconds.
“Would you look at that! He did something for once!” Spike said joyously. “So eating makes him react!”
“I wonder what other food he can eat?” Twilight said to herself, leaning closer to inspect Magikarp’s mouth to see what type of teeth he had to see whether he was a carnivore or herbivore. Unfortunately, Magikarp grabbed onto Twilight’s mane at that moment, sucking it up in his mouth.
“AHHHHHH! ” Twilight shrieked, shaking her head to try and dislodge Magikarp from her mane. “Get him off! Get him off now!”
“Hold still, Twilight!” Spike yelled, attempting to pull of Magikarp from her hair. All that resulted in tugging Twilight’s mane painfully and her yelling even more.
“Don’t try to rip my mane out! Just get him off!” she shouted, tears springing up in her eyes from the severe hair pulling.
“Um, I think everyone should calm down...” Fluttershy said, but the two were too busy and didn’t really care at the moment to listen to what she said.
Magikarp had now gobbled a full half of Twilight’s mane length in his mouth, intent on eating all of it at this rate. “Oh dear Celestia, it’s so disgusting!”
“If you keep on shaking your head, I won’t be able to take him off!” Spike reminded her, grunting in effort as he finally managed to pull off the hungry fish. Magikarp flew behind them from the force of Spike’s pull, bouncing off the wall and right back at them.
Magikarp smacked right into Twilight’s face, 10 kilograms of force hitting her square on in the muzzle. Twilight fell to the ground, having been knocked unconscious from the hit. Magikarp just continued to flop on the floor next to Twilight’s prone body.
The wild TWILIGHT fainted!
Magikarp gained 1032 Exp. points!
“... anyone know where that voice came from?” Spike asked, confused as to where and how that voice sprung up out of nowhere.
“Magikarp,” Magikarp said, the fish’s face as impassive as ever.
“Yeah... that’s what I thought,” Spike said, facepalming.
Magikarp Is The Best Pokemon
Chapter 3: Everyone Loves Magikarp!
“Come on, Fluttershy, hurry up!” Spike called over his shoulder, drawing in a deep breath afterward. Moving one foot in front of the other, only a couple of steps quickly drew the breath back out of him. Panting and wiping a claw over his forehead, he wheezed, “We gotta… hustle. Whew, this is tougher than I thought.”
“Um, Spike, maybe I should carry Twilight instead of Magikarp,” Fluttershy suggested, Magikarp flopping on her back but otherwise staying put.
Spike shook his head, arching his back forward with a pained expression as a crack sounded from his back. “Not needed, Fluttershy. Twilight’s carried me plenty of times, so me doing the same can’t be that different.” Spitting into his palms and rubbing his claws together vigorously, he grabbed ahold of Twilight’s tail once more and pulled her over his shoulder.
“But, um, you’re not really carrying her. More… dragging.”
Twilight’s tongue stuck out of the side of her mouth as her unconscious form was dragged across the ground, dirt and other unquestionable materials being picked up by her open mouth. Each pebble and rock her head was lugged over made her groan faintly.
“Still counts,” he muttered, hauling Twilight’s body a couple more feet. Luckily for him, they had already arrived at the library after a trip through town. Ponies stared at them in a mix of wonder, amazement, and downright confusion. Either from the knocked out Twilight being dragged like a ragdoll, or the mysterious air breathing fish that never blinked on Fluttershy’s back.
Twilight’s head thumped painfully against the single step leading to the doorway, and once Spike got the door opened her face was tugged across the hardwood floor to the inside of the house.
“Okay, Magikarp, you’re home!” Spike called over his shoulder, heaving Twilight in the center of the library. Fluttershy followed close behind, unsure where to set Magikarp down.
“Spike, should I get Magikarp some water or… something?” she asked, noticing the fish hadn’t done much of anything except flop around. And repeat his name over and over again.
“Nah, just set him down,” he called out, waving his claw as he departed to the kitchen.
Shrugging, she gently set the floundering red fish creature on the floor next to Twilight. Magikarp stared with his impossibly large and never blinking eyes right at the drooling face of Twilight, a noticeable bump on her head from where Magikarp hit her before.
Fluttershy’s eyes glanced left and right awkwardly, the only sound in the room the occasional ‘Magikarp, Magikarp ’ that Magikarp blurted out as he flailed weakly on the floor.
With a faint flutter, Twilight’s eyes opened. Blinking to clear her fuzzy vision, her first sight was the open mouthed, oblivious face of Magikarp, only inches from her face. A tense silence fell as Twilight’s pupil’s slowly shrank. Even Magikarp stopped flopping to stare at her, eye to eye, unmoving.
Then, of course, Twilight screamed with all her might.
“THE FISH IS STILL HERE!” she yelled, backing up quickly while still on her side, her hooves desperately pushing the floor to get away from the red menace.
Magikarp flopped happily, or as happily as he could manage. His face was as expressionless as ever.
“Hey, Twilight’s up?” Spike asked from the kitchen, returning back to the room with a tray laden with sandwiches. “Oh good, she is!” he said cheerfully, making his way to her cowering form and holding out the sandwich filled tray to her. “Hey, Twilight, I made some sandwiches for–”
“What is that thing still doing here?” Twilight interrupted, getting back on all fours and pointing a shaking hoof at Magikarp.
“What, Magikarp?” Spike asked, Twilight’s glare directed at him answered his question. Shrugging his shoulders, he said, “Well, since he’s my pet now, I thought I might as well as show him his home.”
“Magikarp is not staying with us!” Twilight said, shaking her head furiously. “Not going to happen! Never!”
“Twilight, please, Magikarp can hear you,” Fluttershy said, resting a supporting hoof on Magikarp’s side as she stared disappointingly at Twilight. “You just hurt his feelings.”
“He’s a fish ! He doesn’t have feelings!”
“Twilight, I think you just need to calm down,” Spike suggested, holding his palms forward. “Obviously that concussion you got has scrambled your brains.”
“Magikarp gave me that concussion!” Twilight reminded him, pointing to the bump on her head. “He ate my hair and whacked me across the head! There’s no way he’s staying here!”
“But, Twilight…” Spike’s eyes widened to saucers as his pupils filled the white of his eyes. “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?”
“No, Spike.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“Please?”
“Yet again, no!”
“Come on, I know you’ll grow to love him!”
“I’m definitely not loving that bump on my head.”
Spike tapped his claw to his chin, running over potential plans in his head to get the unmoving unicorn to agree to his pet living accommodations. Luckily for him, Magikarp was already way ahead of him.
“Oh dear Celestia, he has my hair again!” Twilight shrieked, Magikarp once more eating part of her mane. Like before, she shook her head in a desperate attempt to remove the hungry Magikarp.
Fluttershy helped with the removal process, tugging painfully at Magikarp as Twilight screamed. “Twilight, please, stand still! He’s going to rip your hair out if you keep on moving,” Fluttershy ordered, pulling with all her might as Magikarp kept his bite grip firmly on Twilight’s mane.
In the midst of all this chaos, a knock could be heard on the front door.
“I’ll get it!” Spike yelled eagerly, walking past group and arriving at the door to open it.
Standing outside was Rainbow Dash, the rainbow maned pegasus staring over Spike to get a look into the library. “I, um, heard that Twilight was being dragged through town unconscious and I was just wondering… What’s that thing eating Twilight’s hair?” Dash asked, noticing the hubbub in the room over the mysterious red fish chomping down on Twilight’s mane.
With a final shake of her head, Magikarp was dislodged from her mane. Magikarp flipped through the air, speeding right towards Rainbow Dash.
Before she could even react, Dash was struck full on the face by Magikarp, his tail whipping her head back as she fell to the ground. In less than a second, she was out cold, Magikarp thrashing over her knocked out body.
“Oh, that’s just Magikarp,” Spike answered her, peering down at the pair. “And I think he likes you!”
The wild RAINBOW DASH fainted!
Magikarp gained 1156 Exp. points!
“Huh, there’s that mysterious voice again,” Spike said, scratching the side of his head as he stared up at the sky to see if he could spot whoever was talking.
Magikarp grew to LV. 20!
MAX. HP +2
ATTACK +1
DEFENSE +2
SP. ATTACK +1
SP. DEFENSE +1
SPEED +2
MAX. HP 42
ATTACK 12
DEFENSE 34
SP. ATTACK 14
SP. DEFENSE 18
SPEED 42
“Um… okay then.” Spike glanced left and right, shuddering slightly. “Whoever is saying that, can you please come out or something? I’m getting really freaked out here.”
What?
Magikarp is evolving!
Suddenly, Magikarp became enveloped in a bright white, the light blinding Spike as he averted his gaze. Magikarp flailed as the his body slowly grew larger, the light illuminating the area brighter.
“This isn’t how evolution works!” Spike shouted, backing up as Magikarp grew larger.
Author's Note
Better hope Spike has a B button!
Magikarp Is The Best Pokemon
Chapter 4: Epic Evolution
“Guys, I don’t think Magikarp is gonna stop!” Spike shouted to Twilight and Fluttershy. The luminescence from Magikarp was only growing brighter and brighter, blinding the group.
“Spike, you’re his owner, tell him to stop!” Twilight commanded, shielding her eyes with her hoof.
“He’s evolving. What do you want me to do, stop natural selection?”
“Hey, is it just me, or is Magikarp getting… bigger?” Fluttershy asked, pointing to the brightly glowing creature.
Magikarp floundered about, in his typical way, but there was definitely a noticeable size increase. In only a few short seconds he had nearly doubled in size, and didn’t appear to be stopping anytime soon.
“What do we do? What do we do?” Spike asked, waving his arms frantically while running around in circles.
“Ooh, I know!” Twilight teleported a quill and paper from out of thin air. “I’ll just write a letter to Celestia asking or her assistance! She’ll be sure to know what’s the matter with Magikarp.”
Finishing her letter with a final dot, Twilight tugged at Spike’s tail, causing him to produce a flame. Throwing her letter into the green fire spurting from Spike’s mouth, Twilight dusted off her hooves and said, “There, our problems will be solved in no time.”
Spike looked up, a great shadow blocking out the sun over the group.
“Um, Twilight, can that time be right now?” Spike asked, pointing a shaking finger up above. “Because I don’t think we’ll have much time left!”
Where Magikarp once floundered in his strange white glow from before stood a creature of unimaginably epic proportions. A humongous blue, snake-like creature was the end result of Magikarp’s apparent evolution on steroids. His mouth was agape with fangs that were larger than lamp posts. Along with this was a three-pointed crest atop his head, with fins as well as whiskers on either side of his head while spikes ran down his back.
Congratulations! Your Magikarp evolved into a Gyarados!
“How do you even pronounce that?” Spike asked the other two. “Gy-ra-dos? Gya-ra-dos? Gy-ara-dos?”
“Spike, I think we might have bigger problems than proper pronunciation of its name!” Twilight reminded him.
Returning his attention back to Gyarados, Spike nodded his head in agreement. “Oh yeah, nearly forgot about that.” Spike ducked to the side and narrowly dodged a tail-whip that flattened the ground where he stood mere seconds before into rubble. “Run for it!”
Twilight and Fluttershy were quick to join in Spike’s escape as they quickly made their way into town, Gyarados hot on their trail. Down the streets they ran, dodging past attacks and chomps from the furious behemoth of a former pet.
“Why is Gyarados so mad?” Twilight asked, avoiding her head being bitten off by a fraction of a second.
“Oh, I dunno, maybe it has to do with that fact you threw him against the wall like a rolled up newspaper!” Spike reminded her, turning a corner just in time to miss being trampled upon by Gyarados.
“You dragged him across town like a piece of trash!”
“You didn’t let him eat your hair!”
“You let him eat my hair?”
Spike skipped to a stop. “Wait a second… why isn’t he chasing us anymore?”
Ignoring Twilight’s harsh glares towards him, Spike turned around and noticed Gyarados standing in the middle of the street, not doing anything.
“Actually… where’s Fluttershy?” Twilight asked.
“Better yet, what happened to every other pony in town?”
Soon, the answer made itself clear enough. Opening his jaws, Gyarados threw up a spitball filled with ponies he had attempted to consume on the trip to get Spike and Twilight. Now all the ponies were unconscious and stuck together in sticky saliva, Fluttershy easy to see among the crowd of spittle covered townponies.
“Oh great, what’s he going to do now?” Twilight asked, already taking a step backward.
“Well, for everyone pony he makes faint means he levels up…” Spike quickened his backstep pace as the implications dawned on him. “That means we should run away right now! Like, really run for it!”
Gyarados used Hyper Beam!
“Run, run, run, run, run!”
It’s super effective!
“Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun! ”
Spike and Twilight entered a world of a pure, destructive white force that consumed their vision in an instant. They had barely taken a step before they were knocked forward to roll over their bodies in a painful tumble, heaped up upon one another.
Shaking his head to clear his vision, Spike blinked his eyes and rubbed them frantically. But no matter what, he still couldn’t believe his eyes. Gyarados’ eyes glowed a fiendishly white while from his jaws came out a laser of pure energy that destroyed all in its path, quickly turned half the town into rubble in an instant. The beam of light continued without end, destroying and turning to dust all that it touched.
“Ponyville isn’t going to survive much longer like this,” Spike noted, rubbing his bruised skull.
Pushing Spike off of herself, Twilight said, “We’re not going to survive much longer like this.” Already, Gyarados was returning his attention back to the two of them, the trail of the hyper beam cutting a path of pure annihilation towards them. “For the love of Celestia, what do we do?”
Spike covered both his eyes with his claws, shivering under the resolution of his fate, Peeking out from his claws, Spike recognized a figure fast approaching over the horizon.
“It’s Celestia!” Spike cheered. The sun princess had arrived just in the nick of time, blocking the path of Gyarados from the pair. “She’ll save us!”
Celestia formed a ball of intense flames on the tip of her horn. “Come no further, creature!” she bellowed, firing the miniature inferno in front of Gyarados’ path. “Or else face my wrath for harming my little ponies!”
Gyarados closed his jaws, his hyper beam coming to a close. Looking down at the smoldering, ember scorch mark before him, Gyarados manages to shrug without shoulders and crosses the makeshift deterrent without a lick of trouble.
Gritting her teeth, Celestia’s mane exploded in a fiery expanse of fire and hair that blinded all those who stared directly at it for too long. “That’s it, I warned you!” With a cry of a warrior princess, Celestia let loose a torrent of fire that reached the extreme heat territory, melting the road even before reaching Gyarados. However, the large, fish creature… thing, didn’t even flinch from the flames.
Not very effective!
Celestia’s attack did almost nothing to Gyarados, while he in turn waited patiently for her to finish. Just as she exhausted the last bit of her magic, Gyarados flicked his tail upward and successfully managed to send her flying through the sky in one hit.
“Looks like I’m blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaaain!” Celestia screamed, disappearing in a twinkle of a star in the sky.
Staring down at both Spike and Twilight, Gyarados opened his mouth and charged up his next hyper beam that would surely destroy both of them.
“Well, this is how it ends,” Twilight whispered, bitterness clear in every one of her words. “Definitely didn’t seem it coming, that’s for sure.”
Spike’s eyes searched frantically for a solution, but none could be seen. The only definite thing he knew about Magikarp was that he liked Twilight’s mane a lot… which could also be the same for his evolved form!”
Grabbing the end of Twilight’s mane, Spike said, “Sorry, Twilight, the next barber visit is on me.” Then, with a powerful bite, Spike cut Twilight’s mane in two with just his teeth and jaws. Spitting hair out from his mouth, Spike waved the hairy prize in front of Gyarados, standing directly underneath the immense power of his soon to be hyper beam.
However, this attack never came, for Gyarados immediately stopped as his attention drew itself to the big bundle of hairs Spike held in his fist. Gyarados’ tongue stuck out like one would expect a dog to, with the tail wagging and drool the size of foals dripping from his mouth.
“Hey, Gyarados, want the hair?” Spike asked, waving his treat. Gyarados only nodded his head and made a weird noise similar to his name in response. Spitting out a flameball, Spike threw the airs inside it, then pointed up to where Celestia disappeared before. “Well, go get it!”
Looking up, Gyarados leaped into the air, flying towards the heavens in search of that bundle of hair he seemed to enjoy that was sure to pop up wherever Celestia was at currently, after being sent into the upper atmosphere of the planet in the first place thanks to Gyarados.
Staring to the new twinkle of Gyarados willingly blasting off, Twilight said, “Huh… I had no idea he could fly.”
“Me neither. Sure looked like an impossibility.”
“So, you think Celestia will be okay?”
Spike waved his hand passively. “Ah, I’m sure she’s fine… sorta. Kinda. Pretty sure...”
Touching the split ends of her hastily cut mane, Twilight hummed under her breath. “Actually, I should be thanking you right now. I’ve been meaning to get a manecut, and you managed to give me one with the benefit of saving Ponyville as well.”
“All in a hard’s day work,” Spike said, dusting himself off. Giving one last glance to the sky, he asked, “Do you think Gyarados will be happy without us around?”
Twilight shrugged, already dreading the wide expanse of cleanup requiring her attention. “Well, here’s hoping he’s happier with just Celestia.”
“Stop munching on my mane at once!” Celestia demanded, still flying—or rather, falling in an opposite direction—in the sky.
Gyarados ignored her, still happily chewing on her mane like a puppy with a toy.
“Wait, no! No! I just exfoliated there! Noooooooooooooo!”
