When All You Have Is Memories

by keaton-furman-prower

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad, Nightmare Moon, Original Character
Length: 3226

Twilight Sparkle learns to cope with the loss of her friends with help from a most unexpected source.

As an immortal alicorn princess, Twilight Sparkle has lived for a long time. However, her friends were mortal ponies, and they eventually all died. A hundred years after they have all passed on, Twilight can only think about them, and how much they meant to her. Now that they are nothing but memories, how can she carry on?

The answers she seeks may come from a most unexpected source: another alicorn, one who once threatened to cover Equestria in eternal darkness, but whom Twilight considers a daughter. With her help, Twilight might just find that she is truly not alone.

This story takes place after the events of Magical Mystery Cure and Past Sins, which was written by Pen Stroke. Nyx and Past Sins belong to Pen Stroke.

Also, check out this CinemaSins-Style review.

Published 2013-04-19 21:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-19 21:10:02 UTC

One Hundred Years Later

The regal purple alicorn slowly floated across the moonlit sky. Her wings fluttered slowly as she descended through the clouds, slowly growing wet as she moved into the rain that was falling just below the clouds. The rain seemed to reflect her somber mood as she approached a clearing which lay within whitetail woods, not too far away from the small town of Ponyville.

As she completed her descent she walked towards a large statue which sat in the middle of the clearing. It depicting a small group of ponies, five of whom were wearing necklaces with various amulets, and the middle one of which was wearing a tiara with a star-shaped jewel. All six ponies had a look of determination on their faces, and the smiles on their faces told of six inseparable friends who could achieve any task as long as they had each other.

Lying below the statue stood a plaque giving details of each of the ponies; first an individual summary for each one, then a few words on the group as a whole:

The memory of the five bearers of the Elements of Harmony – Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Princess Twilight Sparkle – is here immortalized in stone. Their exploits were legendary, and their friendship was unbreakable. May they forever be remembered.

Twilight Sparkle had come here many times over the past century, but today it felt harder than it ever had before. It had been exactly a hundred years since the last of the mortal bearers had finally and inevitably exhaled her last breath, yet she was still alive, leading new generations of ponies on their journey through their lives.

“Hey girls,” she said, her voice trembling as she did her best not to break into tears. “It's been another good year. We've managed to deal with the Griffon hostilities. It turns out that we were just receiving a bunch of bad communications. Imagine that.”

She let out a small chuckle, hoping that her joke would be able to somewhat alleviate the crushing sadness in her heart. Realizing her attempts were futile, she merely looked down at the rain-soaked ground.

“Remember all those adventures we used to have? How we always had all sorts of fun? I do. Those were the best moments of my life. And the funny thing is, before I met you guys, I never really had friends, and then I thought that I'd be lost without the friendships I made.”

Twilight could no longer stop her tears as they made their way down her cheeks and mingled with the falling rain. She closed her eyes as she tried to finish her thoughts.

“I thought you'd always be there for me, but of course, silly me, I became an alicorn, and I'd have to stay young as you slowly grew old, and eventually, I- I would keep living forever, with nothing but my... memories of...”

The purple alicorn was unable to finish. Her voice cracked, and she fell to the floor, sobbing loudly at first, then quietly and softly. For some time she remained there, with nothing but the statue of her fallen friends to keep her company.

The dark princess saluted the royal guard. For over a century and a half, she had been their captain, and they had obeyed her without question. She was quite adept at it, which was of no surprise due to the fact that her cutie mark, a blue shield with a thin crescent moon, symbolized her desire to protect her fellow ponies at any cost. She had been inducted into the guard faster than any other pony, and had quickly climbed through the ranks to become the top officer in all of Equestria. Finally, due to her status as a princess, it was agreed that the royal guard would be her dominion.

Her ascension to the rank of supreme commander of the Equestrian army had not gone uncontested, however. Due to her dark and troubled past, some ponies doubted that she was fit to lead the army, while others feared that she may use the army's resources to incite a hostile takeover or overthrow of the government. Ultimately, the older princesses had managed to convince everypony that the royal guard was safe in her capable hooves, and that she was physically and psychologically equipped to lead the army, and so she became the Guardian Princess of Equestria.

She closed her draconic eyes and thought of these events as two pegasus guards approached her.

“Permission to speak, Princess?” one of them asked.

“Permission granted,” she said. “Please, speak freely.”

“Thank you, your highness,” said the guard. “I am unhappy to report that my team has not yet found Princess Sparkle.”

“Please,” the black princess said, irritated by the guard’s strict adherence to protocol. “Can't you refer to her as my mother?”

The royal guard shuddered, and looked away. The other swallowed hard, then turned to look at her.

“Well, if I may, Princess, my team was not able to find Prin- your mother. However, we asked several ponies as to her possible location, and we believe we may have a lead.”

The dark alicorn raised her eyebrow.

“Please continue.”

“Yes, of course. You see, we were informed that, a few hours ago, she was seen flying towards the Harmony Memorial.”

“The Harmony Memorial,” she repeated. “And have you gone to investigate?”

“Not yet, Princess. However, I shall send my men to investigate as soon as I return.”

“That shall not be necessary.”

To the shock of the two guards, the Guardian Princess stood up and spread her wings. Their shock only increased as she opened her mouth to speak.

“ATTENTION, ROYAL GUARDS,” she declared in the Royal Canterlot Voice. “YOUR TASK OF SEARCHING FOR MOTHER HAS BEEN SUSPENDED. I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTINUE THE SEARCH ON MY OWN. YOUR HELP HAS BEEN APPRECIATED, AND YOU SHALL BE REWARDED LATER. FOR NOW, I MUST SEEK MOTHER ON MY OWN.”

As she concluded her impromptu speech, she took off, flying in the direction of the Harmony Memorial.

Twilight lied curled up next to the statue, sobbing softly in the rain. The memories of her adventures with her friends continued to haunt her even after all those years. How long would she have to endure the pain before it faded? Would it even fade away?

She thought back to the day she had first grown her wings; the day she completed Star Swirl the Bearded's masterpiece and fulfilled her destiny. Celestia had been prouder of her faithful student than ever before, and all her friends had been excited and happy for her. It had been thanks to her friends that she had even be able to ascend, and she considered herself the luckiest pony in Equestria because of their unwavering devotion to her.

If she had ever realized the full implications of her newly achieved royalty, she would no doubt have considered herself far less fortunate. It was only as time passed and her friends and family grew old that she truly realized what a terrible price she had paid for her glory. She would often tell her friends how much she regretted becoming an alicorn, and begging for their forgiveness. In spite of this, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash, insisted that she had nothing to apologize for, and remained loyal to her until they each died, one by one.

Since then, Twilight had come to the statue every year, speaking to the statue, hoping that, somehow, her words would be able to reach her deceased friends. She knew that, even if such were the case, she would most likely never be able to hear their replies.

“Mother?”

Twilight's eyes slowly opened in surprise. She lifted her head slowly, her body too tired to do much else.

Before her stood another alicorn, her black coat and purple mane perfectly complimenting her dark blue armor, which covered her body and hooves. Twilight could see the concern in her blue draconic eyes, and could not help but feel guilty for having been away for so long and causing her unnecessary worry.

“I-I'm sorry, Nyx. I should have... should have...”

“Please do not apologize, mother, you have every right to feel this pain.”

Nyx lowered herself to the ground, and placed her hooves around her mother. She, in turn, broke into tears once more.

“I-I just miss them so much.”

“I understand, mother.”

“Why did they have to die?” sobbed Twilight. “Or why couldn't I grow old and die with them?!”

“Mother, please don't-”

“IT'S NOT FAIR!” screamed Twilight. “I THOUGHT THEY WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME, AND I WOULD BE THERE FOR THEM, BUT... BUT THEY... THEY HAD TO…”

The violet alicorn stopped screaming, her Royal Canterlot Voice slowly reducing itself to a quiet sob. All the while, her daughter held her close, stroking her rain-soaked mane and whispering words of reassurance in her mother's ear.

After what seemed like hours, Twilight finally calmed down enough to speak.

“Th-thank you, Nyx. I appreciate your help.”

“It's the least I can do, mother,” said Nyx. “You were always there for me, even when I was foolishly attempting to fulfill what Spell Nexus claimed was my destiny.”

“I could never have done any less.” sighed Twilight. “Nightmare Moon or not, you have always been, and always will be, my daughter.”

The two alicorns embraced each other, taking comfort in their unity.

“Come, mother. You have been away for a long time, and the others worry for you. And besides, it is not good for you to be out in this rain.”

Twilight smiled and nodded. Then, with some help from Nyx, she rose to her hooves, and the two alicorns opened their wings and took off.

As the two alicorns approached the castle, they took a moment to rest on a cloud bank. From their place high above the ground, they could see for miles. Their gazes moved from the royal city of Canterlot, to the faraway towers of Manehattan, to the humble town of Ponyville, where they had both found many friends, without whom they would never have been able to become princesses.

As Twilight's eyes fell upon the faraway town, her thoughts went back to her friends. She remembered how they had enabled her to learn so many things, and how she would never have been able to defeat the many evils that threatened Equestria without them. How very ironic that, on her first day in the humble little town, she had stated that the fate of Equestria did not rest on her making friends.

She then thought of Nyx. She had started her life as a frightened filly unaware of her true identity as the reincarnated form of the evil Nightmare Moon. In spite of the little filly's obvious resemblance to the evil monarch, Twilight had taken her in and raised her as her daughter, which had eventually enabled the little alicorn to find her true path. And, like Twilight, Nyx had made friends, who had always been ready to do anything to help her, even if it meant being captured by Nightmare Moon's followers.

And she too had lost them as they grew old and died.

“Nyx, how do you cope with it?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” said Nyx, a confused look on her face.

“Your friends,” said Twilight. “They all died years ago. How... do you cope with the fact they all died years ago and you're still young and vibrant?”

The black alicorn looked at her mother in surprise. For a moment, she seemed unsure of what to say.

“Well, it's difficult for me too,” she admitted. “The truth is, I do feel the pain of losing them every day. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Twist. Since I first met them, they were my best friends, and now that they're gone, just trying to remember them hurts.”

A single tear fell down Nyx's cheek. Her mother smiled sympathetically and wiped the tear away with one of her wings.

“Do you remember when we released the princesses?” asked Nyx.

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“Well, yes, but what does that have to do with-”

“Do you remember how afraid I was that I would be banished... again?”

Twilight's eyes began to widen as she came to understand what her daughter was saying.

“You weren't afraid of the actual banishment,” whispered Twilight. “What scared you so much was the possibility that you would never be able to see me again.”

“That's right,” Nyx said as more tears beginning to fall from her eyes. “I was an immortal alicorn, and my friends were common ponies. By the time I came back, the only ones who would still be around would be Spike and Peewee.”

“When they turned you back to normal there was a moment when I thought they had banished you,” said Twilight as she wiped Nyx's tears away. “I was so distressed I even attacked Princess Celestia. I feared losing you so very much.”

“Just as I feared losing you,” said Nyx. “But even after that, there were times when I still was afraid that something terrible could happen. Sometimes, in my nightmares, I turned back into the Mare in the Moon, and I... ended up destroying everything I loved.”

Nyx sighed and looked towards the moon. She remembered how she had once tried to keep it in the sky for days on end, causing ponies all across Equestria to suffer. Even after all those years, it was still hard to think about those days.

“And then, sometimes, when I heard Cheerilee talking about history, it reminded me that the Princesses could live forever, while other ponies were mere mortals. And because I was an alicorn like them, I worried that I would eventually be left alone, without my friends... or you.”

The Guardian Princess paused for a moment, shuddering as she remembered the days long past, and her friends who were now nothing more than memories.

“But then you became an alicorn. And you were crowned a princess. Remember how happy I was that day?”

“I do,” said Twilight. “If I recall, it was the happiest day of your life, just as it was for me. But I thought it was just because you were happy for me.”

“I was,” said Nyx. “But I was also happy for me, because I knew that now, even if I outlived my friends and everypony else, I would never outlive you, and I would never have to watch you grow old and die. That day was the happiest day of my life because I knew that you would truly be there for me forever.”

“And so here we are now,” said Nyx. “I understand how you feel, mother. I have also lost my friends. And, just like you, I have lost my grandparents, and my uncle Shining Armor. Just like you, all that is left of those I once held dear are memories. But I cannot allow the pain to overwhelm me. I have to fulfill my duties, and I must set an example for other ponies. So, to answer your question, I can cope with the pain because I have you. You've always been there for me, and I know you always will be, even as everypony else who I know eventually dies. And I think you can do the same, because no matter what happens, I will always be there for you.”

The violet alicorn seemed unable to speak. For a moment, her mouth moved, as if she was attempting to say something, but the words were caught in her throat. Finally, her daughter placed her hoof upon Twilight's mouth, as if to tell her that she did not need to say anything. Then the two princesses smiled at each other, then embraced each other.

“Nyx... thank you. For everything.”

“Of course, mother,” said Nyx.

“It's funny,” said Twilight. “You're my daughter, and yet sometimes it seems as if you're so much wiser than me.”

“Well, maybe I just understand these sorts of things better that you,” said Nyx. “After all, I've been an alicorn longer than you have.”

Twilight smiled at Nyx as they spread out their wings. Then they both flew off into the night, towards the castle of Canterlot.

Dear Princess Celestia;

As you may no doubt be aware, tonight marks the hundredth year since… I lost the last of my mortal friends. As you can imagine, the occasion has opened old wounds, causing me considerable pain. I spent several hours before the Harmony Memorial, unable to think of anything other than my deceased friends, and wondering if anything would ever be able to heal me.

The answer to my questions came from a most unlikely source: my fellow princess and adoptive daughter, Nyx. As a fellow alicorn she was able to understand my plight better than any other pony. Like me, she has lost many friends to the inevitable passage of time, and, embarrassed though I may be to admit it, she has learned to cope with the pain far more effectively than I ever did.

Tonight, my daughter taught me the most important thing I’ve ever learned: sometimes, time takes away things that were invaluable to you, and there is nothing you can do to prevent it. And no matter how much you try, you will never truly be free from the pain it causes. However, as long as you have ponies who love you, you will never have to face the challenges before you alone.

I know now that, while my friends have long since died, I am not alone. I have Spike, my loyal assistant, who has always done his best to help me. I have Peewee, who, while not always the easiest bird to handle, has been a faithful pet to Spike, then Nyx. And I have you, my ever-present teacher, always there to help me when I needed it most.

And, of course, I have Nyx, my beloved daughter, who understands me better than any other pony in Equestria ever has. She has always looked out for me, even when she was attempting to live up to the legend of Nightmare Moon by taking over Equestria. And now I finally understand that she always will look out for me, no matter how many hardships we have to endure. I understand that, while immortality may sometimes seem like a curse, it does not have to mean solitude, for I will never be alone.

Your fellow princess and eternally faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

Author's Note

This idea had been hanging around in my head for some time now. The question was "Since Twilight said she owed her newfound Princesshood to her friends, and considered herself to be blessed because she had them, how would she react when/if she outlived them?" but also, "If Twilight became a princess in the Past Sins universe, just as in the show, how would Nyx react?" Thus, this fanfic was created.

As I said before, Nyx is from Past Sins, and they both belong to Pen Stroke.

P.S.: If you didn't enjoy this story, this should cheer you up. If you did enjoy the story... you'll probably still like it.