A Basis of Shame

For those of you diligently awaiting the next chapter from But First, I must apologize. I'm juggling this with the other.

That being said, this is a M/M story. And yes, it will have some sex scenes. I justify this because because it isn't actually necessary to read this in order to read But First!! so I felt it wasn't constrained by the Teen rating. I felt it needed to be shared with a crowd that might appreciate it, and if you do you would probably dig But First!! so read on.

If you don't like the M/M......that arouses me.

Ok 1,2,3 GO!!

*CRACK*

"Doggarnit!!"

That was the second one today. The second one! Two trees now put out of commission thanks to sloppy kicks. Today was shaping up to be a pretty bad day.

Macintosh slumped down against one of his family's prized apple trees, wondering what he was going to tell AJ and Granny. Oops? My bad? Just another batch of product gone, no biggie? Hardly a good excuse when there was money involved, especially since cider season was just around the corner. Picking up a stained washcloth from the nearest apple barrel (one he had been in the process of filling) he mopped the sweat from his face. The summer afternoon's heat had taken its toll on the stallion.

This was how it had been for most of Macintosh's life. Bucking apples, sweating in the sun, watching over his family. Well mostly AJ. Ever since she got involved with those Elements of Harmony whatsits he been worrying more and more about her. Not that being in direct league with the princess of Equestria was a bad thing, it was just the constant worry of something happening. Like AJ not making it back one day. Or Applebloom getting whisked away to some place by rich and seedy colts. Or Granny's time finally running out.

The stallion sighed heavily, suddenly feeling very old.

*PoP*

"Hm?"

Macintosh perked his ears up, the noise jolting him out of his light slumber. Looking about in the fading sunlight Macintosh spotted nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing aside from the swaying trees and apples bobbing in the occasional breeze.

*PoP*

And then he spotted it.

For a second his mouth hung open, the wheat stalk falling out from between his lips. As if the stalk touching the ground was some kind of green light, half a dozen more pops rang around him. And all at once, his surprise ebbed away. Spinning on his heel, the red stallion quietly addressed the floating serpent behind.

"Mister Discord sir, ya mind tellin' me why my apple trees alluva sudden wanna start growing taquitos?

The jovial draconequess picked one from its place on the branch, savoring the steam leaking out from the tortilla.

"Ah yes, I was just about to ask you the same thing! I imagine the fine fellows knew I liked chicken, *crunch*"

Big Macintosh stood stoically and expressionless until the floating whatever-the-hell-it-was had finished it's snack. The creature gingerly licked clean its talons and smiled wide at Macintosh as if nothing strange had happened. For a second, no words were spoken, just Discord smiling at Macintosh, who stared back expressionless.

"Ok ok fine!" The creature huffily snapped his fingers, and instantly bright red apples replaced the tortillas hanging from the tree branches. "Gotta get the meat group from somewhere right," the spirit floated down to meet Macintosh on the ground.

"Well what can I do ya for Mister Discord?" Macintosh turned, gesturing with his neck for the creature to follow him.

"Ah finally, a pony with a bit of manners, how kind!" The creature followed Macintosh in suit, completely forgetting that he had all but turned the red stallion into a dog last time they met.

"I was wondering if my dear Applejack had any pies left from earlier today, I didn't wake up early enough to catch her stall,"

"Hmm.....a'm supposin' not ALL of em' made sales, might be one or two left AJ brought home," Mac chewed thoughtfully on his wheat stalk. "Prolly not the freshest,"

"Oh pish-posh, I'm sure they're fine."

"Well....wouldn't feel right makin' ya pay for pies that ain't fresh. You can have em' free of charge," Macintosh said, giving a small nod at the creature behind him.

Discord followed Macintosh back to the house wordlessly, either in thought or just toying about with apples again he didn't know. Nonetheless, when he stepped up to the porch Granny Smith greeted him kindly. The poor old girl must have misplaced her glasses again obviously.

"Well hellooooo there, big boy like yourself must be looking for something to eat! What's your name sonny?" Granny Smith smiled and shuffled over to the creature as fast as her old legs could carry her.

"My name is Discord ma'am, lord of chaos and harbinger of destruction, and I am indeed here to inquire about your fine products," Discord took a deep bow and kissed Granny's hoof.

"Oh such a creative name, I suppose those confaddled vidyahgames do some lick of good huh? Well come on in, lets see what I can do fer ya,"

"Granny, I was jes gonna give em' the pies AJ didn't sell today for free. Being that he's in a rush and everthin'," Macintosh gave the creature a wink obvious to all but Granny.

"Ah yes my dear, you see I am running a bit late for a little get-together with my dear friend Fluttershy. However I have no problem paying for the snacks that have been so kindly offered."

"Oh fiddlesticks, nopony pays for nothin' less than fresh round here, lemme just git some boxes ready. AJ had three left over........confounded light never bright enough....," Granny's voice trailed off as she disappeared through the screen door to the kitchen, leaving Discord to slop himself down into Granny's rocker. Macintosh simply laid down on his stomach, allowing his tired body to cool down for the first time that day.

"So um....about turning you into a dog.....I'm rrrrreeeeaaaalllllllyyyy s-,"

"A dog? But Winona's jes round the corner.....," Macintosh raised an eyebrow at the serpent and pointed with his hoof at Winona's kennel.

"Oh yes quite, *ahem*," Discord smiled and snapped a claw, leaving a bright bone wrapped in red tinsel in front of the dog house. The pup was in for a treat once she woke up.

Macintosh chuckled under his breath, wondering why anybody would say Discord had been quite the problem in the past. Annoying sure, but having met the strange creature only a few weeks ago, Macintosh had only encountered just that. Annoyance. Sure piñatas magically growing from the Apple Family's tree branches had been a bit strange, but cracking them open to find exotic candies had been quite entertaining; Discord's pranks never truly grew stale.

Macintosh's eyes popped open again as Granny kicked the screen door open, handing the serpent three styrofoam boxes with wobbly hooves. Discord thanked her with a bow and another offering of money, to which Granny shrugged away. Sweet Apple Acres only charged for the best after all.

The stallion settled down with his head in his hooves, watching the strange being float away on a small pink cloud. Behind him, Granny settled back down into her rocker, the creaking creating a soothing white noise Macintosh recognized from foalhood. Granny must have known such a setting would have her grandson calm, so she popped the question she had forgotten she had asked only a few days ago.

"Macintosh did ya find yurself a pretty mare yet? Boy your age should start thinkin' bought settlin' down, having a nice little family," Granny took out her sewing needles and resumed work on a blanket she had been making.

Macintosh blew the wheat stalk from his mouth in what he had hoped was a silent huff. Sitting back up politely he turned to the old mare and gave her a weak smile.

"Jes haven't found the right filly yet Granny," he turned back around, feigning interest in the bottoms of his hoofs.

"Well howsabout that blue one always flyin' round? I mean sure, not exactly cut out for the farm but-"

"Nnope," Macintosh cut her off. He had had quite enough of the Rainbow mare last time she had came to gather Applejack. Cosmic entity threatening all of Equestria or not, the mare was much too pushy.

"Well she does have a problem knockin' down doors........howsabout the little bookworm in the library? Nothin' wrong with bringin' home a filly with a good head on her shoulders,"

"Poor girl's too busy fer stuff like that, she's on Royal Duty from the Princess,"

Granny dropped her needles and stared at Macintosh for a second.

"The bookworm?"

"Eeyup," Macintosh answered back, blowing a bang out of his eyes.

"Well.....coulda married inta nobility but that's a stallion fer ya.....well whatabout the unicorn just round the corner from Sunny Sides' house? Ya know, the one in the carousel," Granny waved a hoof over her head, emphasizing the size of the carousel she didn't know was a boutique.

"Nnope. I'm hopin' she notices that little dragon feller that's been followin' her round. AJ says he's crazy bought her and helps her at work," Macintosh thought back to the times he had actually talked to the energetic little dragon. Hard to believe that such a small, innocent creature could have grown to such monstrous proportions. And yet Caramel swore up and down he had seen the dragon terrorizing the town a while back just "pop", and there in the center was Spike. Thank goodness him and the mare had survived their fall.

"Poor dear, t'aint natural fer him to like something outside his own species," Granny tsked lightly as she continued on the blanket.

"Yeah, maybe yer right Granny. Itsa shame he ain't a stallion," Macintosh closed his eyes and let the sound of the creaking rocking chair lull him to sleep.

*pst...*

*poke*

"....hey, Big Mac come on,"

Macintosh cracked an eye open, meeting the eyes of his cousin Caramel. The colt wasleaning down and staring into his face as if he were watching an insect he had never seen before.

"Did I miss somethin'?" Big Mac asked with a wide yawn, stretching out his forehooves and spine--earning two satisfying pops for his efforts.

"Aw come on, you said you'd introduce me to Miss Scoops today, we gotta go or we'll miss her shift!" Caramel jumped impatiently back to his feet, giving Macintosh a pleading look.

"Cousin why don't you just try talkin' to her, I'm sure she'll like you," the red stallion argued. His cousin's fear of talking to mares was, to be quite frank, irrational at times. Caramel had had his eye on one Sweetcream Scoops, an ice cream shop employee on Sugarcube Corner. Of course the mare was pretty, but she was nowhere near stuck up about it. Still, Caramel swore up and down to his cousin that the mare had thought he was a creep when he had chanced to hold a door open for her once.

"How weird!! I just said that like five seconds ago," a sarcastic voice rang out. The voice belonged to a blue stallion who had somehow managed to sneak past Macintosh and into Granny's rocking chair.

"I mean what--you think she's bite?" Eiffel gave Caramal a mock-irritated look, leaning back in the wooden chair. The blue colt couldn't hide the amusement from his features for long before he gave a smirk.

"Well come to think of it, that actually sounds like something she might do. I mean Sweetcream Scoops, yeah........what a name right?" Eiffel grinned widely at Macintosh who cracked a smile of his own. Caramal simply groaned and ran a hoof over his mane.

"You guys know she's not like that, besides I just want to ask her out on a date. You know.....as friends," the brown earth pony shrugged his shoulders innocently.

"Ppssshhh," Eiffel waved a hoof dismissively at Caramel and lounged back in Granny's rocker, leaving the red stallion to deal with his cousin.

"So ask her out. What're you stressin' about?" Macintosh asked with a bit of annoyance in his voice. Sure the colt was a scaredy cat sometimes but lately it had been ridiculous.

"Just come with me! Please, I just know I'm gonna crack," Caramel spun on his heel and spoke as if in deep contemplation. "Oh man what if her friends are there? And I say something stupid and--what if I get rejected and everyone's there to see???"

"And right afterward she'll give all the foals free ice cream like always, honestly don't know what you see in her....," Eiffel gave an exaggerated frown as he rested his head in his hoof. Big Macintosh placed a reassuring hoof on his cousin's shoulder and spoke evenly to him.

"Relax. Me n' Eiffel'll be right behind you. We'll get some cones and hunker down while you talk to her. If'n things go wrong.....," Macintosh shrugged his shoulders, "We'll just leave,"

Just as Caramel was about to protest, a blue set of hooves pushed both him and his cousin down the stairs and towards the path to Ponyville.