The Lighter Side of. . . Human in Equestria
Tom and Bob whooped and hollered as the drumbeat signaled the end credits of “Sweet and Elite.”
“Aww, yeah!” said Tom. “Rarity is so the best pony!”
“No way!” Bob replied. “Applejack is best pony! She’d never even think of selling out her friends like Rarity did.”
“But she didn’t go through with it. Anypony can not feel temptation, but to feel it and own up to your best friends anyway, that’s real friendship.”
“Whatever, dude. Let’s watch ‘Last Roundup’ next.”
“I was thinking ‘Suited for Success.’”
“We just saw a Rarity ep! I want AJ!”
“There’s plenty of AJ in ‘Suited for Success.’ It’s a Mane Six episode.”
“It’s a Rarity episode,” Bob said, getting annoyed. “I think you just like her because the writers named her rock after you. Anyway, put on ‘Applebuck Season.’ We can try to see if it’s really Derpy who’s saying, ‘Muffins.’”
“Let’s do ‘Sisterhooves Social.’ That’ll have enough for both of us.”
“Fine.”
Tom rapid-fire clicked his mouse to cue up the episode the bronies had agreed upon. Ten minutes later Bob was whooping it up again as Applejack and Apple Bloom trained for the social.
“Man, ponies have the life! No humdrum school and annoying parents. They really like their families. I wish I could live in Ponyville!”
“What brony doesn’t?” said Tom. “I’d give anything to live in Ponyville!”
Just then the picture on the screen went all wonky, then there was a sound like a thunderclap and a ten-foot dimensional rift opened up in the room, blowing up the computer. Through the rift stepped Princess Celestia herself.
“Your voices have carried across the gap between worlds. Would you two fine young lads really like to live in the town of Ponyville?”
Both bronies had been knocked back, but quickly recovered. “For really real?” said Bob.
“Quite,” said the princess. “We actually have two places where some ‘bron-i’ would be welcome to stay. One can go to Sweet Apple Acres, and another is requested for Carousel Boutique.”
The two boys turned to each other and held out their fists. “EPIC BRO-HOOF!”
The princess smiled. “Quickly now, through the rift.”
And as quick as they could Bob and Tom leaped through the hole.
******
Rarity trotted up to an outside table at the local café, where Applejack was already seated. “Darling, so wonderful to see you again.”
“Darn tootin’! How’s that Tom workin’ out for ya?”
“Oh, he’s simply divine! And I see you’ve got Bob coming along quite nicely. How are you today, Bob?”
Bob looked over at Appplejack. The earth pony said, “Go on, you can answer her.” But he just looked down at his feet. Applejack took hold of a long leather lead in her mouth and gave a hard tug. Bob yelped.
“Ah do declare, sometimes these human slaves ain’t got no more brains than a bale o’ hay! Go on and speak, Bob.”
“Sorry, Mistress Applejack. I’m quite well, Miss Rarity.”
“Well, that’s good, Bob. You know, AJ, sometimes there are advantages to being a unicorn. When Tom gets ornery I can just use magic on him.” She lifted a foreleg to show a four-inch-tall Tom hanging on for dear life. “Now, Tom, I’ll restore you temporarily so you can go get Applejack’s and my drinks. But put too much sugar in my tea again and I’m putting you in with Opalescence when we get home!”
A tiny voice that could barely be heard cried, “No, please Mistress Rarity! I’ll be good.”
Applejack and Rarity chuckled. The ponies of Ponyville really did have the life.
