Strawberry Kiwi

by strawberrykiwi

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Fleur de Lis, Crossover, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Romance, Snails, Fancypants, Sex
Length: 1035

The life of Strawberry Kiwi and her love affair with Fancy Pants.

Strawberry Kiwi is an outcast pony who nobody really liked so she pretty much gave her body to Fancy Pants. He didn't really love her though and so she decided to end her life, when a crazy twist occurs that completely changes the outcome of the story.

Published 2013-04-27 06:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-27 06:30:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Strawberry Kiwi

Strawberry Kiwi was in the middle of having intense sex with her lover, Fancy Pants. She had been seeing him ever since Fleur de Lis (a.k.a. Slutty Girlfriend) died of anorexia. While they were doing the nasty in bed, she felt a sudden pressure on the inside of her lower stomach. She realized what was happening and immediately regretted eating 17 fish tacos earlier that day. However, it was too late now; she couldn’t just stop having sex with Fancy Pants, for she knew that if she didn’t perform that he would leave her. So, without a choice really of what to do, she continued doing him until the tacos had nowhere else to go but out. In the middle of the intense love session, she let out what was probably the rankest, wettest, foulest piece of diarrhea to ever have existed in all of Equestria.

“WHAT THE BUCK?!?!?!” Fancy Pants exclained!

“I’m so sorry, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore and I didn’t want to stop so I just, I… I’m sorry…” Strawberry Kiwi said in the most sincere of voices.

“God dammit! I know I’m amazing in bed but really, you can’t just do that. Now I’m going to need to take a shower before Rarity comes over at 4!”

“Why do you have to be involved with all of these other ponies? Why can’t I just be good enough for you?” she pleaded.

“Probably because you crap yourself in bed!” he quickly pointed out.

“You’re right, I should probably just go jump off of the Hay Bridge.”

“Good idea! It’s not like I actually love you for you anyways,” he comfortingly replied.

Strawberry Kiwi was used to hearing that she was useless in life, and honestly, she kind of was. She looked pretty ridiculous compared to all of the other ponies, seeing as her face and mane looked a lot more like those of an Egyptian pony. And since most ponies in Equestria are judgmental, nopony really accepted her. Her parents even abandoned her at birth because they loved her twin sister, Tuti Fruti, much more. That actually had a lot to do with why Strawberry was so bad at everything; since she was abandoned at such a young age, she was found early on by Snails’ father, who raised her her entire life. Since he was such a stupid stallion, Snails and Strawberry Kiwi didn’t get a good education, seeing as they were both homeschooled. Since Strawberry Kiwi looked so different and ugly compared to the social norms of Equestria, her father rarely let her out. She just sat inside all day and mashed together strawberries and kiwis into a juice that her father sold in order to pay mortgage on their house.

Strawberry was very depressed due to how differently she was treated and all of the teasing that she got over the years really made her upset. This is why she took the advice of Fancy Pants and went to the Hay Bridge, right outside of Baltimare. She decided that she was going to end it, right then and there. She got up onto the ledge and looked down. It was an incredibly far fall and she knew that the impact would kill her. This was it. This would be the end. She closed her eyes, took the leap of faith and the next thing she knew, she was on her way to her death. She was actually very content with the idea. I mean, after all, dying meant no more being teased, no more not fitting in, no more bad things in her life. She was ready. But then, out of nowhere, an onix came bursting out of her vagina. This was by far the single most painful thing that she had ever experienced, seeing as an onix is about 20 times as wide as her lady parts on a normal day. It completely ripped apart her uterus and nearly made her pass out due to unbearable pain. However, because the onix came out of her, he broke into the water first and made it so that the water that she landed in was forgiving enough to cushion her fall to the point where she had no major injuries except for her torn apart vagina.

She was very unhappy with the fact that she was still living, for she really had wanted to end her life there and then, but what was by far the worst part about surviving was all the pain that she was in due to onix. The laceration of her vagina also created a lot of bleeding, which then attracted every shark within 10 miles of her location. By now, a ton of other ponies were looking over the bridge trying to comprehend what in the hell just happened. Strawberry Kiwi knew she was in serious danger and started swimming to land but the opening in her let a ton of saltwater into her body and her intestines and stomach started to float out of her vagina. All of the blood that had now drained out of her body led to her losing consciousness while swimming and therefore drowning. Before the sharks could get to her, Rainbow Dash flew in and grabbed her from the water. She brought her back to Fancy Pants, because she knew that he was one of the only people who knew her and she was too shaken by what she saw to know what to do. Fancy Pants saw Strawberry Kiwi and immediately thought the one thing that any other pony in their right mind would have: Since she’s dead, there’s no way that she could shit while I’m screwing her now. And so he did. For the next hour, he sat there and had sex with her dead body while Rarity waited for her turn that Strawberry Kiwi had so unjustly stolen from her.

This is where the biggest of all of the surprises came into play. While Fancy Pants was screwing Strawberry Kiwi, he managed to thrust so hard that it made her release one last monstrous fart. And this is why Strawberry Kiwi is known for her farting.

THE END.