Fallout Equestria: Medicine & Mail

Chapter One

“The desert’s been changin’.

Sure as th’ sun rises, the desert’s been changin’.”

Caravan life is pretty routine. At most you had to look out for the oddball raider or two maybe a few hungry desert predators. And that was on an exciting day.

We’d trade goods back and forth at various destinations along our routes, offer repair or medical services to places that didn’t have proper staff to help keep them from collapsing until the next caravan came by. Occasionally somepony would need a package transported between the various towns and junctions, often times they were to places we had just come from or further.

Caps are caps though and off one of the more adventurous traders would go to play at being courier.

The caravan route had taken us to Junction 144 for the night. Decent enough pony folk, even if some of them are a touch peculiar. It’s the kind of place that gives off the impression of having sprung up from the ground overnight with its trailers and makeshift buildings. Sitting right on the merger of Equestrian Highways 71 and 73, the town sees an abundance of traffic despite its rough appearance.

I woke to the sound of some traders arguing just beyond the door to our quarters. As if it wasn’t already damned difficult enough to sleep during this time of year. Between the sweltering heat, even in the early morning, and the constant racket outside, the odds of going back under were slim to none. I groaned and flipped over in my bunk, hoping that one of the nearby shanties might collapse on them. Placing a somewhat dirty pillow over my head, I tried to block out the noise, praying to Luna that perhaps I might get skipped over today.

“Bit Flip.”

And there it was, the last voice in this blasted wasteland that I wanted to hear right now. So much for those odds on sleep. “Bit Flip,” she called out as I cringed inwardly, “We got packages here y’need to deliver.”

I think I managed to mumble out something halfway coherent as a response.

“BIT FLIP.”

Okay, maybe not. In my half-stupor, I tumbled out of the bunk, wings barely catching me mid-fall. Real smooth, Bit. At least now I was awake.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m comin’,” I said, fumbling to get my barding and harness strapped into place. “Keep yer hooves on.” I frowned at my appearance in a nearby mirror shard, made all the worse by the scratches and dirt across its surface. I slipped my wings away beneath the leather sleeves.

“Way to start the day off by making one of the courier masters yell,” I groused under my breath as I poked my head out of the room.

“Listen here, missy. You might be from a trade family and—” Great, it was the twin with the prosthetic hoof, “—I don’t care what you layabouts do while trading, but when you’re working the courier line—”

I sighed, “I get it, Parcel Post. I do. I should be up earlier to take my packages. I’m sorry.” Taking my deliveries from her I stalked off towards the bar grumbling, “It’s not like there’s ever any sort of rush out here in this desert.”

“If’n it ain’t muh best customer,” the barkeep intoned flatly at my arrival, “Anythin’ special or just th’ usual?”

“Just the usual beer and sas’,” I said, sitting on a stool at the counter. Looking over my packages, it seems I’m in for a bit of backtracking today. Old Fort Celestia over in the ’Side and a stop in Cancy. Ugh, that rot-hole of a settlement.

One of the regulars in the corner was futzing with the radio. Static. Static. Stati—Music. Really thin and still laced with static, but it was better than nothing.

Two bottles clinked down on the bar as I slid six caps out of my pouch, “Oh, and I’m gonna need a Rum ’n’ Sparkle, to go. Preferably with the cap still on.”

“Gunna be ten more caps then, an’don’chu try none o’yer fancy trader shit here.”

“Oh, c’mon! Yer killin’ me here, Tab,” I groused. “It’s not like y’didn’t just make two from those bottles!”

The small unicorn hopped off his stool with a laugh, “Fuck off, courier. Ah know y’make more’an that in one run.”

“Pay’s been shortin’ us lately and there ain’t exactly a whole lot of packages being shuffled around the desert right now.” I smiled down at him, “C’mon, help a filly out. I know you’ve still got a crate or two sealed up in the back.”

“Ain’t got shit but radroaches and food back there!” he snapped back at me, the frustration rising in his voice.

A familiar sensation played lightly along my spine. Smiling to myself, I had him. Just one more nudge.

Leaning over the counter I whispered, “Besides, you still owe me for that thing with yer missus and that mule from the Pens.”

Tab sputtered and stared at me as if to say something then stomped off towards the back fuming; I don’t think I’ve ever seen a black stallion turn that shade of red before.

Nursing my beer, lukewarm though it might be, I leaned back on my stool waiting for Tab to fetch my order, trying to think of some way to get out of running to opposite ends of the desert today.

The music faded and the voice of a lively stallion punctuated the static.

“Got a question for……Mares or bucks ever seen a ghost? ‘Now, DJ Pon3!’ I hear ya say. ‘There’s no such thing as gho…’ If I, DJ Pon3, your voice in the wasteland, were to tell you that I have seen…”

Sweet Luna in the night sky, where was this broadcasting from? The static is horrible.

“…Years ago, and I had just…Manticores, so I was ridin’ Dash and Stampede…But there she was, Celestia’s honest truth. Never seen…or found the exact spot…crazy things in this wild wasteland…”

“Bah! The fool sounds like he was just ridin’ those chems a bit too hard,” one of the drunkards interrupted from the back of the bar, “That trash sounds like some story told to foals to scare ’em into behavin’.”

Heh, junction folk. Haven’t left the safety or their homes in forever, once settled, and suddenly they’ve got all the answers.

Tab slammed a large bottle down on the counter and scowled at me a long several seconds before walking off again. Wow, if looks could kill. Taking the hint, I swallowed the last of my beer and bagged my prize. Guess I shouldn’t push my luck; I’d hate to swing and miss.

Prancing happily out of the bar with the bottle of Rum ’n’ Sparkle, I made my way back to the caravan cook for today’s trail ration. “Hey, Applesauce!”

Nothing. That old horned bastard is ignoring me again. “APPLESAU—” A box flew at me, and I just ducked to avoid a braining.

“Ye don’t gotta yell, child. I ain’t deaf yet, but if ye keep hollerin’ like that I may as well be. Here, take your food and off you go.”

I pulled the bottle of Rum ’n’ Sparkle out and tossed it his way.

He grinned, resting the bottle on his lap. “And these,” he said cheerfully. A couple Fancy Buck Cakes and box of Sugar Apple Bombs floated out from a nearby storage barrel, bathed in a faint magical glow.

“Yer wife’s gonna bury you if she catches y’with that,” I teased while packing away the extra food.

The old stallion looked at me as if I were wrong in the head and laughed. “Uh huh, and I’mma take ye down with me for gettin’ extra rations. Go on now, shoo.”

Munching on my ill-gotten gains, I took a slight detour and stopped outside the Junction gates to visit the local Curiosity. Mentally taking stock of my resources, I figured I could spare the caps and cake to get a quick forecast for today. Besides, I felt for the poor colt. It’s a small miracle he’s only just out of his gourd and not stark raving mad. As I hear it, he watched Hell Hounds tear his mother to pieces.

“A coin spins in the air, but you already know which side will land. You’ve always played the hoof you’re dealt, but it might not be enough this time. Best learn to stack the deck. Today’s lucky numbers: 6, 18, 9, 5, 14, 4.”

Huh, he usually just gives me the weather.

Shrugging, I placed the cake and caps near him before trotting south along the E-73 towards Cancy.

Purified water is a precious resource in the Wasteland, but when the raging heat of the Marejave is bearing down on you, you’ll find even dirty water will do.

“Just my luck,” I whined, rummaging through my pack, “Of all the trips I have to make, it had to be this one that I forget my canteen on.” I looked at the dust storm slowly building on the horizon and exhaled sharply while securing my mask and goggles into place.

“Ah, ponyfeathers. This delivery is gonna be seven shades of suck.”

The storm whipped about my head threatening to pull me under, to choke the life out of me. I kicked myself inwardly, knowing I really should have sought out shelter instead of trying to push on towards my destination, but too late for regrets now.

I’ve been in this damn storm for a couple hours now. By my last estimate, I was about an hours’ worth of walking from Cancy. With any luck I haven’t been blown off course and towards the MiSAE solar grid.

I wiped a fore hoof across my goggles in a vain attempt at clarity. Not even the mask and goggles were enough to stop all of the dirt and ash from finding its way in. Hell, I could barely see my own hoof in front of my eyes, let alone the road.

Not wanting to risk inhaling any more than was necessary, I made an effort to maintain a measured breathing pace while walking against the storm.

Without thinking, I took a breath normally to whisper a prayer of safe passage to the long dead goddesses and immediately regretted nothing more in the world. Reflexes took hold and I gagged a bit at the grime, only managing to make it worse by sticking my tongue out. Between the dirt, ash, and bits of irradiated materials I don’t think this taste could get any fouler! Right about now I want to buck myself for misplacing my canteen, if only to try and wash this taste out.

Honestly, getting this taste off my tongue should have been the last of my worries.

I just need keep on pushing through. This storm’ll either break up or I’ll make it through before long.

An earsplitting snap echoed off in the distance as I was showered with small pieces of debris. I couldn’t place any sounds in this whirlwind with the desert storm howling around me.

I looked up from my hooves and my heart skipped a beat. I could see a shadow in the distance getting larger with every passing moment, then I realized – it was barreling down the path towards me.

I have to move out of the way.

I can’t talk my way out of this.

I need to mo—

I slowly opened my eyes, quickly squinting at the unexpected light. Groaning at the sudden flare of pain knifing through my eyes, I forced myself to sit up to get my bearings.

“Still with us, I see,” a worried sounding voice said from in front of me. “Wasn’t sure you’d make it. You took a pretty nasty hit there. Do you remember what happened?”

I knitted my brow in frustration as I felt the almost alien touch of a magic field wrap around me, pushing me back to the floor.

“Ah, you’ll want to stay lying down for a bit. For both your own safety and mine. So what are you? Combat harness, couple shotguns, packs full of goods…A mercenary,” there was a slight tremble and hesitation in the voice. After a moment, half a whisper, “A raider?”

I grimaced at the last suggestion and said nothing.

“Well, if you’re not going to be at least civil, then you can just sit there until whatever lived in these caves comes home.” I heard the voice shuffle around and make to stand up.

“Trader. Courier when the need comes around.”

“That explains the shotguns and combat harness,” the voice mused. “I saw a shadow stumbling about outside in the storm before it collapsed. It would appear that you tumbled down the hill after you tried to stop something pretty heavy with your face.” She chuckled. “Here, drink this. It should help some with the pain and swelling.”

I heard a bottle scrape the soft dirt next to my head, “I’d love to, but, ah…I’m kind of stuck here.” The field dissipated some allowing me to just sit up and look at my savior-captor, “Well, thank you all the same, Miss…”

The white unicorn shifted uncomfortably as I sat up, her amethyst eyes glowing in the firelight, “Vitia, no miss. And you are?”

“Bit Flip.” I eagerly downed the watery healing potion, the pain in my face slowly receding, “Y’know, I appreciate you savin’ me an’ all, but could y’ease up on the hold. I mean, I get it. Couple-a shotguns, yer worried. But if I wanted to turn you into a fine red paste on the wall, I’d have done it earlier,” I bluffed, tipping the busted swivel mechanism of my harness with my elbow and mouthing the firing bit.

“Shoula ’isahmed me, dea.”

Vitia squeaked in surprise and released the rest of the field.

I regarded her carefully before letting go of the bit. “Look, I’m not gonna hurt you, was just teasin’ a bit.” I added coolly before tipping the shotgun back to its original position, trying to break the awkward tension. “I seem t’ have gotten in a fair bit of trouble with that dust storm.” I sighed at my run of luck. “Definitely should have sought out shelter earlier, was stupid to roll the dice on that one.”

Vitia hesitantly nodded, her silver-blue mane bobbing about, “More like it was incredibly stupid with no water. What were you thinking?”

I flushed a bit, trying to hide my embarrassment, “Yea, well, I forgot my canteen. Was hopin’ that storm would have cleared up earlier, but I gambled and lost. Speakin’ of which, how long was I out?”

“Roughly a day, give or take an hour.”

I felt the little pony in my head panic a bit. Shit I’d lost an entire day of travel time. “So, Doc—”

“Please don’t call me that,” Vitia looked a bit cross at the assumption, ears dropped slightly.

“Okay, so, Vitia.” I motioned at my pack. “Nopony does anything free out here in the Wasteland, and I’d like to square us up before I start owin’ favors. What do I owe you? Will 100 caps and some lunch cover it?” I reached back to pull out my cap pouch and caravan box lunch.

“W-what?” she half-sputtered on her drink, “Goodness, no. Just…Just keep it in mind later.”

I frowned for a moment. Oh, wait, no…Idea!

“You sure?” I flashed her one of my grins, “I’ve got a nice salad or some Sugar Apple Bombs.” By Luna’s lacy lingerie, I could almost see her salivating!

Vitia looked lost in thought for a moment before snapping back to reality and squeaking out, “The sugar apples will be fine.” She had tried to regain some composure but her face was flushed. “But I’m not taking the caps, you still owe me!”

A reduced favor was better than a full favor any day.

“Sure.” I nodded, passing over the pack of sugary snacks. My stomach made the kind of noise one could mistake for a wild animal at the mention of food.

I rooted around my pack, pulling out a wrapped pack of radhog bacon from the lunch box and a warm bottle of Sunrise Sarsaparilla.

This’ll have to do for now. I can rest and finish it in Cancy when I get there. I glanced up and caught the look on my neighbor’s face.

“What is that?” Vitia asked, looking a little queasy.

“Bacon! Wonderful, wonderful radhog bacon. Salty, delic—”

“That’s disgusting.”

“What? Ish good,” I said, stuffing bits of savory chunks into my mouth, following up with a pull from my sarsaparilla.

Vitia abruptly changed the subject away from (glorious) bacon and asked, “Hey, Bit Flip?” Concern was thick in her voice, “Not to sound alarmist—more curious than anything—but have you always had heterochromia?”

“Heterawhat now?” I stopped and turned around to face her.

“Your eyes. Have they always been two different colors? One golden, the other pale yellow-gray.”

That little pony in my head reared up in panic again. “What? No. My eyes have always been gold.” I could feel my heartbeat begin to accelerate. “It’s…There’s…” I stumbled over my words before regaining my composure, mentally smacking the little pony in my head with a hose before stuffing her in a closet.

Hopefully she didn’t do anything to me while I was out. I’ll check with the caravan doc when I get back. Nothing I can do about it right now.

“It’s fine, or should be. I was able to stop your head swelling, and I didn’t see,” she said, tapping her horn, “Anything that would indicate lasting damage. So if you have no vision problems now, there aren’t likely to be any that are going to develop. Sudden head trauma can do that sometimes. Just keep an eye on it.”

Ha, ha. An “eye” on it.

“Alright. Thanks again, Do—” I stopped myself, “Vitia.” Easing myself off the ground, I made toward the mouth of the cave and sighed.

Just my luck.

The glare of the early morning sun weighed heavily on me. I could hear the mechanical grinding of the solar panels repositioning themselves as I galloped my way past the MiSAE solar grid. My stomach grumbled as I used far more energy than I should have been, but I was a day behind schedule.  I could see the ugly rusted colors of a scrapyard on the horizon. Cancy was just a short gallop away.

Urgh. My stomach made more grumbly noises. Still pretty hungry.

I’m already going to be shorted on pay for this package. No sense delaying any further.

Food could wait.

Coming around the large sand dune, the first marker informing me that I had entered Cancy’s settlement made me jerk my head back in disgust.

The stench.

This region always reeked of brahmin dung from the surrounding areas, but once the Dash-heads moved in and started manufacturing the chem, the fumes and stench combined became nearly intolerable.

My eyes watered as I walked through the settlement gates to the converted front desk of an old motel that served as a checkpoint. A few strung out looking ponies sat along the side of the room near desks with some official looking ponies in armored barding, others milled about in various tattered pre-war clothing.

I stopped just short of a scrawny green earth pony in a dingy pre-war suit and nodded at him. “Needles.”

“Bit.”

“Doin’ well for yerself, I see.” I reached back to pull the parcel out of a pouch, the sound of weapons being drawn and racked slides freezing me in place.

“And you’re late. This was supposed to be here yesterday,” he said with a wave at the alerted guards, a dangerous edge to his voice.

“I got lost, alright?” I said with a sheepish grin, slowly pulling the package out and setting it on a nearby table. “Shit happened. Got in a fight and had to duck raiders. Just dock my fees and let me be on my way, yeah?”

Needles picked up the package with care, looking it over and frowning at a torn edge. “This been opened?” I heard a racking noise next to my head.

“Please, you know yer not gonna have me shot. You been sampling your wares again? Call off yer goons.” I looked at him and motioned to my harness, “Look at this, it’s all busted up. You know caravan policy just as well as I do, Needles. The package probably got scuffed during the fight.”

Needles looked off into space for a moment before waving off the guards. “Yea, I do. It’s fine, just a bit on edge.”

“Pay’s been worried ’bout you ever since y’left and got tangled up with those mucks from the coast.”

“You know why I left. To be honest, I’m surprised you’re still doing the courier thing. Out o’ us all, we had you pegged for wanderlust.”

“Yea, well—” I stopped, unsure of what to say. “Anyway, parcel delivered. Route comes to—”

“Four-hundred caps. I know.” He nodded, taking out a pouch. “Minus the day late fee, so half that.”

I pocketed the caps, snorting at being shorted pay for such a dumb mistake. “Hammer around? I still need to get my harness repaired.”

“That old bag o’ bones? You an’ I both know that mush-bag’ll be ’round long after both o’ us are dust. He should still be o’er in that shop you hate so much.”

I sputtered a bit. “There are better looking buildings down in Fleshgrove! The thing is hideous, paint it already.”

The caricature of a green and purple dragon loomed overhead. For something so comical looking it felt out of place, and the faded posters of an elderly pink mare with an almost candy cane striped mane made things even more bizarre.

I’ll never understand what they were thinking when they built a gift shop that looked like this before the bombs dropped, stranger yet that it houses a fully functioning lab and workshop below.

“Watchin’ you forever, indeed.” I looked at the posters and shivered a bit despite the hot desert air. “These posters creep me out every time I came here.”

It really did feel like as if she was watching my every move.

A voice rasped, speaking softly from behind me, “Pinkie had that effect on ponies. It was just something she did.”

Surprised, I whipped around at the voice and stared at the gentlecoltly unicorn ghoul. “Hammer, I wish you wouldn’t sneak up on me like that. Hell, I don’t even know how you manage to do it all the time.” It took a fairly large effort to not gag a bit at the smell of his exposed and decaying flesh as he passed.

“Science, dear. Also, a hell of a lot of chems and maybe just a touch of magic.” Hammer motioned towards a set of stairs behind the checkout counter. “I see you broke your harness again. I swear, at the rate of you caravanners go through parts I could retire out to one of those swank high roller places on the far end of the valley.”

The hatch closed behind us with a loud click, locking to prevent intrusion.

I’m glad he wears an overcoat most of the time. I don’t think I’d be able to stand staring at the contents of his rotting chest cavity every time I came here.

Hammer tinkered away on the busted swivel mechanism with his magic. “So, you gonna tell me or are we just going to stand around being awkward?”

I shuffled about the workshop reading some of the catalogued memory orb labels. “Excuse me?”

“Your eye and this fine piece of machinery, you daft little filly.” clink “I overheard you talking to Needles earlier.” clink “Doesn’t look any damage a raider would inflict.” clink “You were always a bit more—” he paused a moment, looking at the harness, “—User-error prone than what could be considered healthy.”

“Oh.” I felt my cheeks ignite. “I s’pose it doesn’t, does it?” I moved over to a spare workbench and rummaged through it for pristine parts. “I gambled and lost. It almost ended pretty badly.”

Hammer frowned and floated a busted gear into the bin I was rummaging through, neatly rebounding it off my head.

“Hey!” I wrinkled my nose at him. “Urgh. Fine. I tried to weather the storm earlier and got into trouble. I think something broke off nearby and smacked me in the head, but all I remember is waking up to some mare treating me near MiSAE.” I said, placing a hoof over my eye. “I guess my eye got damaged because of it. Heterasomethin’-or-other.”

“See, was that so hard?” Hammer asked, still tinkering away at the harness. “Now, go on. Occupy yourself for a few hours. I need to concentrate. And do try to keep your nose out of my stuff for once.”

I pulled a new stock, some bolts, and a couple new trigger assemblies from the bin I was rummaging through, and started for the stairs.

Ugh. A few hours is going to set me real close to another late delivery. No helping it though, since I’d rather not have to come back here. No better time than the present to finish eating too, I s’pose.

“Hey, Hammer?” I stopped at the stairs and looked back.

“Hm?”

“Why do—Ah, no. Never mind. It’s not important.”

I crested the stairs and closed the hatch behind me, stepping into the gift shop lobby. A sea of identical pink faces stared at me from their spots on the wall. “Yea…Still creepy. Think I’ll just go work up on the next floor.”

It always came to me as strange why the dragon’s head was hollow. Maybe it was all a huge joke, which would explain why it was so comical looking.

I stood at the top of the dragon’s head, looking out from the bubble shaped window of an eye at the shanty filled town below me.

Dash-heads and various other addicts milled about below. Some huddled under shade clearly showing signs of withdrawal, others had their muzzles in bags that I could only assume to be filled with Brahmin dung, or worse still, others with their faces inches away from fresh piles, snorting away desperately chasing their high.

A sad looking lemon colored mare was walking out from one of the sturdier buildings and stared out at the spectacle a few of the residents were making of themselves.

I saw Needles with his small entourage shaking down a couple ponies off in the distance. No doubt for a missed payment for his protection. I could only hope his new lifestyle didn’t catch up to him in the worst way possible.

His words floated up to the surface. I’m surprised you’re still doing the courier thing.

I’d say I didn’t know why Hammer stays here, but really it’s mostly the same reason I stayed with the caravan and only played at explorer by taking courier jobs.

It’s steady, it’s routine, it’s familiar, but most of all—I sighed at my own cowardice to move forward.

“Because it’s safe.”

Wandering down to the mid-levels of the gift shop, I took a turn into the storage rooms. Most of the desks and safes here had been opened.

“Heh, this brings back memories.” I chuckled, spying a safe in the back that hadn’t been opened yet despite the numerous broken bobby pins littering the floor. “Nobody has opened this one yet? Well, he did say to occupy myself for a while and I’ve certainly got a bit of time to spare ’fore my harness is finished.”

I dug around in one of my side pockets, pulling out a pouch of bobby pins and sat down in front of the safe.

Snap. Snap. Snap.

“Hammer, you damn mule. You made this lock way too strong!” I laughed.

How long had it been since I last enjoyed myself?

Snap. Snap. Sna—Oh, tension! Almos—Snap.

“Fuck.”

Twenty-three pins and a copious amount of colorful swearing later the lock finally yielded with an incredibly satisfying click. I’d be lying if I said the feeling wasn’t better than a Dashgasm.

“Alright…Let’s see what you’ve got hidden back here.” I rooted through the safe. “Caps. A couple replacement pins. Some…lizard meat?” Who the hell keeps lizard meat in a safe? “Oh, here we go!” I pulled out a sampler pack of Fruit Mint-als and a large white bottle labeled Buck.

Giving the sampler pack and bottle a rattle, the thin sound of pills ringed off the packaging. “Eh, a few of each is better than none, I guess.”

Hammer’s voice crackled over the storewide intercom, “Bit? Your harness is done, come pick it up. And I told you to keep out of my stuff!”

Ahaa…He saw me.

I skipped a bit down the stairs, in a much better mood than I had left. Indulging in my habits always had a way of bringing a smile.

“You banged this one up pretty badly, Bit. Had to use some newer parts. Good news? The swivels have a wider range of motion now. Bad news? It’s going to be four hundred caps.” He paused for a moment. “That’s including the charge for the Mint-als and Buck that I’m sure you’ll be wanting to keep.”

Great, I wasn’t going to make anything today. So much for that smile. I looked over at the nearest terminal for the time. Three in the afternoon.

“Haa…Another late delivery.” A scowl replaced my smile.

“Ha! There’s the frowny faced trader we all know and love!” Hammer cracked a smile wide as the Coltorado Canyon. “It’s fine, I’ve been working on a new chem that Needles has been having me test. There’s a problem with it still though, but I figure you can have these test batches since he can’t sell them.”

I stared at him for a moment. “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s the problem? They stop yer heart faster ’an usual or somethin’?”

“Actually—” he floated out a couple sealed jars of brown liquid from a safe and placed them in my pack, “—They’re not addictive enough. Not real sure where I went wrong, but there you have it.”

“Yer kiddin’ me.” I sighed. “What’s in ’em? They don’t look like any chem I’ve seen before.”

Hammer scratched his head thoughtfully. “Oh, just distilled Dash and some Sparkle Cola. You drink it.”

I looked back at the jars in my pack. “You know I don’t do Dash anymore. I don’t condemn anypony for taking or making it, but that stuff’s a death surer than a bullet to the brain—”

Hammer interrupted me with a hoof wave, “Oh it’s not Dash anymore. Once you remove all of the impurities the chemical reaction causes it to bond with whatever is in Sparkle Cola. All the benefits of that ‘go, go, go’ feeling but doesn’t leave you huffin’ shit a week later. Not my finest work, I’ll admit. Think I might take to calling it ‘Scoot.’”

“Huh, I’ll think about it. Given a bit of work though, I’m sure you’ll find some way to make a right fortune on it even if it isn’t addictive. Needles never was the most business savvy in the caravan. He was always too concerned with taking the easy road.” I chuckled a bit, fishing out my cap pouch again. “Well, thanks all the same for the patch job and supplies, Hammer.”

“Yep. Business as usual. Oh, take a damn canteen with you on the way out.” Hammer wandered off to the back of the workshop mumbling, “Stupid mare, thinks she’s invincible or something. Can’t make caps off you if you’re dead!”

Old Fort Celestia was directly north of Cancy. Unfortunately, it would take most of the day if I went by roads. Unless I wanted to avoid another half pay, I’d have to take the direct route through the desert. Not something I looked forward to.

“Desperate measures, I guess,” I groused, sliding a jar of thin brown liquid out of my pack and taking a sip.

Hammer, you fuck. May your rotten, jerkied up balls freeze like the ice on Luna’s moon!

Scoot, my left hoof. More like Sparkling Brahmin Piss.

Aside from the absolutely rotten aftertaste, things didn’t feel all that different from any other day in the desert.

I was running at a flat gallop across the desert sands towards Old Fort Celestia. Look at me, big bad courier pony acting like a lizard. Lizardpony! Lony? Pizard? I laughed at my own joke.

Hey! Ponies! And…Oh, they must be MiSAE ponies! Why are they chasing me? Are we playing caravan tag? I haven’t played caravan tag in ages—I didn’t even know the stiffs up at the solar grid knew the rules!

I shouted back at the group, “Last pony to the Old Fort is a radroach!” Plus they’d have to buy everyone rounds at the bar. That sounds nice about now, a bar. Drinks.

A few sand pockets were kicked up ahead of me as bullets struck the ground. “Haha, can’t catch me! I’m an awesome lizard pony!” I yelled with abandoned glee.

I woke up draped over a bench, dry heaving. My muscles ached and my heart raced, but I couldn’t tell if it was from the drug or from dehydration and heat. Likely one caused from the other.

Hammer, yer a damn ghoul. Of course there would be no side effects.

I looked up at the late afternoon sky and groaned, taking pulls on the canteen between spasms.

I sat up, trying to calm my raging pulse and replenish fluids. I’d actually enjoy that deep seated itch between my legs right now were I not feeling like I had been run over by a wagon.

“This is why I don’t do Dash anymore, Hammer,” I croaked through parched lips.

I closed my eyes.

At least I was in Old Fort Celestia.

I woke with a lurching start as I slowly fell to my side on the bench, the sun dipped low behind the mountains.

“Ugh. I smell awful. Never again. I think I lost more time doing that than if I had just taken the roa—” I looked at the large bullet tear in the one of my side barding pockets, “—Luna ram me with moon rocks.” Who the fuck shot at me?

More importantly, my caps!

I exhaled sharply at losing what little money I had on me. Rolling off the bench, I drained the rest of my canteen and headed out of the courtyard to the lobby of the old medical building.

A pair of unicorn door guards in white combat barding ordered me to stop, weapons trained down at me.

That white barding sure does make a difference in look. I smiled at the pair, feeling some of the lingering effects of Scoot.

Oh, right. Armed courier pony.

I shook my head and fished out my Carmine Convoy token from a front pocket and showed them. “Got a package to deliver to one o’ yer Docs. Know where I can find Canopy?”

“Offhoof? No idea, check with the receptionist at the front desk, she’d know,” the guard spoke evenly as he waved me through. “Don’t forget to sign in.”

I shuffled up to the front desk, a cute chocolate mare with flame colored hair in a white nurse’s overcoat, pointed at the sign-in chart. I stared a bit, feeling that slight heat between my legs return.

“Ah…Miss?” The nurse coughed.

Sweet Luna in the night sky! I’m gonna get the hose again if you don’t settle down, I threatened the little pony in my head.

Smiling, I felt my cheeks burn up. “Sorry. Right, sign-in.” I tumbled the pen in my mouth, I should probably use the caravan courier name.

“Route…Walker?” The orange glow of her magic enveloped the pen and board as she floated it away. “Alright, who are you here for and do you know the way?”

I shook my head, “Looking for somepony named Canopy. Got a package for ’em.”

“Ah. She should still be in her office if you hurry. Straight down the hall, first door on right, then down the hall with the pink stripe. Follow that to the steel doors with the pink butterfly on it. Canopy’s office is the first door on your left.” She pointed towards the nearest hallway.

Those white guard uniforms might be nice, but cute nurses are so much better. I smiled while trotting down the hall to the first door on the right.

The halls were fairly quiet. I trotted down, watching the night shift settle into their roles, most of the armed personnel were gone for the day. There were a couple sets of lines on the wall as they split off into other hallways, a white stripe with purple line and a yellow stripe with pink line. I tried to remember what the nurse said about a stripe.

Purple, perhaps? I didn’t know. She had a pretty nice flank though, I sighed. “Never testing out new chems for Hammer again,” I said as I walked down the left hallway with the purple stripe until I came to a set of double steel doors.

I nudged my way through the doors looking around at what appeared to be an office of sorts, possibly a storage area. Old tables and desks, mostly rotted away and splintering, were stacked over to the side. Pre-war books, charts, and cans were strewn about in little piles.

“It would seem that either I’m in the wrong area or Canopy does some weird research.”

I moved deeper into the room past some stacked crates and called out, “Hello? I’m looking for a Doctor Canopy.” Rounding a large stack of tables, I saw large metal cages with what appeared to be dead or dying ponies in them.

Don’t pry. I need to leave. Don’t pry. Don’t stick your nose in where it doe—

“Hey! You! Ah…Shit, what was your name again…? Bit Flip?” A dingy white unicorn with a silver-blue mane asked uncertainly.

Just my luck.

Don’t pry. Just keep walking. It doesn’t concern you.

I immediately turned to leave and walk past the set of crates before stopping.

“Hey! C’mon, you gotta help me. Don’t just…Don’t just leave me here! They put this weird thing on my horn and I can’t use my magic and I have no idea what’s going on in here.” She broke down into heavy sobs. “I just—I just want to find Silver.” She shot up, trying to compose herself, and stammered, “You—You owe me.”

I can’t do this. I’m not that kind of pony. I can’t just leave her there. This dump looks like one step up from a raider hold. I squeezed my eyes shut. And she was right. I owed her one hell of a debt.

I turned around and headed back to the cage, grinning at her, trying to calm her down. “Sheesh, you’re a mess. Look, you got snot runnin’ all down yer face. Wipe yerself with this while I work on the lock, snot nose.” I pushed some bits of cloth from a nearby crate at her. She seemed to perk up at being called “snot nose” for some reason.

I moved off to the side of the cage and pulled out my pin pouch. Six left. Great. Shouldn’t have gone through them all at Hammer’s.

Snap. Five.

Snap. Four.

Snap. Three.

C’mon, concentrate! Oh! I still have those.

I rooted through my pack again, pulling out the tin of orange flavored Mint-als and popped one into my mouth. “Heh, should have used these sooner.”

Everything about the world came into absolute focus. Colors were brighter, crisper. Smells you wouldn’t believe. My senses were on fire. Everything I heard, saw, or felt was in such crystalline clarity. Was she always that cute? Including the lingering effects of Scoot. I felt good. Really good.

Snap. Damn it, Hammer. You and your stupid new chem.

“Urgh. Fuck it!” I looked at the lock. Little details once hidden away from me jumped out in absolute clarity. Rusted mechanisms, pocked slides, and misaligned levers. “No wonder I can’t pick this. Hey, stand back and cover your eyes—” I placed the barrel of my shotgun right up to the lock mechanism.

“Don’t do th—” she yelled as I applied pressure on the harness firing bit.

An earsplitting sound echoed through the enclosed area as metal ripped through metal, tearing through the interior of the lock.

“You’re free now, and that was a terrible idea.” I laughed as an alarm rang out from the surrounding rooms. “We should, ah…We should leave now.”

“You think so?” she hiccupped and deadpanned back at me.

“I can’t do anything about that suppressor on your horn, but if we can get to my caravan I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“We need to help those other ponies there. Some of them are still alive!”

I could hear the sound of hooves and armor shuffling about opposite the door I came in at. “In case you didn’t notice, I couldn’t bust that lock without waking up the entire hospital. And I certainly can’t carry all of you.” I motioned to the door near the cages.

“We need to leave. Now.”

Guards poured out of hallways and into choke points, closing off escape routes. They were herding us somewhere.

Our only option was to go up. We stopped at the roof access door.

I could hear guards clattering up the stairs behind us as we pushed through it and out on to the roof. I walked over to the blasted corner of the building and looked off the edge, the moonlit wasteland below me.

We’re about six, seven floors off the ground? That’s a long drop. I felt my mind rapidly losing its ultra-perceptive edge from the citrus-flavored mint-als.

Vitia was turning circles where she stood.

“Hey, come over here. They’re about to come through that door.” I motioned to her as she ran over in a panic.

“We’re stuck! They led us up here, with no way out.”

“It’s fine. We’re fine. Everything is just fine. Calm down, snotty.”

“How can you be calm in a time like this? We’re trapped!” She nearly screamed at me, “And I’m not a snot nosed filly!” Her panic washed away with brief anger.

I smiled and rummaged through my pack for a white bottle. “Of course not.”

I bit down on the little yellow-orange tablet and swallowed as ten guards came pouring out of the door followed by a tired looking lime mare in a lab coat. She stepped to the front of the herd.

“You must be the courier that signed in earlier. I heard you had a package for me.” She said, “And I see you freed the filthy desert rat we caught snooping around, too.”

“You must be Canopy then? I did, yes. Did. That was until your guards there started taking pot shots at my friend and I here. I’d like to think of it as leverage now.” I motioned to Vitia and said in a low voice, “Get close and hang on to me.”

Vitia’s eyes widened in fright as she looked at me. “You can’t be serious! We’ll die from this height. I don’t care how many chems you take!”

“It’s fine, right? I told you it was fine and I’m paying back that favor now in full.”

Canopy stepped forward a bit as the guards raised their weapons. “You’re kidding. You’re kidding, right? Where are you going to run to? It’s not as if you’re going to jump. Look, just give me the package and leave the dirty little spy. You can walk out of here with significantly fewer bullet holes.”

I could feel my heartbeat accelerate and a strength flow through my muscles as the little tablet of Buck worked its magic. I didn’t just feel good. I felt fucking amazing, like I could bowl through all of those guards and still have room for more!

I bit down on Vitia’s mane and overcoat, hoisting her on to my back. One of the guards fired off a shot. It dug into my barding and harness layer causing me to teeter off balance and step to the side.

I knew I should have felt pain, felt the bruising of sudden impact, felt the extra weight of a mare on me even if she was half-starved and tiny. But it didn’t register fully. I could ignore it.

Somepony else’s problem, my mind told me and I listened.

“Hold on!” I yelled at her as she steadied herself and clamped down on my neck.

I turned around and dove at the edge of the building as the contingent of guards opened fire, falling. I could vaguely hear Vitia screaming, squeezing on my shoulders and neck with all her might.

I slid my wings out from beneath the sleeves in my barding and beat furiously against the warm night air, increasing the speed of our descent. The ground was rapidly approaching. Every muscle and bone in my body protested in agony with the extra weight and flailing of a panicked unicorn on my back.

Somepony else’s problem.

I extended my wings and body as far as possible and pulled up against the air current, catching it under me as we slowly lifted into the air, gliding away from Old Fort Celestia.

I rose up into the air more, flapping my wings rhythmically and headed south west towards my Caravan’s next scheduled stop.

Vitia slumped over against my back, passed out.

“Debt paid in full.”

——

Party Status:

Bit Flip: Generally healthy. Minor contusions and lacerations. Elevated toxins from recent chem intake, at risk for addiction if chem usage persists.

Level Up (10)

Perk: Light Touch

Wearing light or no armor grants you additional mobility during combat, enemies suffer a -20% critical hit chance.

Quest Perk: Leaf on the Wind

Your enemies receive a decrease in accuracy when you take to soaring through the skies during combat.

Vitia: Moderately healthy. Dehydrated, hungry. Elevated stress levels. Magic suppressed. Unconscious. Symptoms of Dash addiction.

Level Up (10)

Perk: Intuitive

Your keen insight has taught you how to trust that gut feeling instead of overanalyzing. Reduce all AP costs by 20%.

Notable Possessions:

0 Caps

Unconscious Unicorn