The OC Pony Generator
God lay back in his throne, twiddling his hooves.
This is such a bother. Why are they behaving like this now? There's no violence, no reproduction, no profanities; what happened? Back in the day that stuff was coming in left right and centre. It's like Equestria has suddenly become some little fillies' show ever since Nightmare Moon returned. Oh yeah I forgot, it has. With nopony doing the naughty business how will Equestria evolve? I keep having to make the darn things to keep up.
Okay, enough is enough. I know I'm omnipotent and all but this is just ridiculous, I can't keep conjuring up ponies out of thin air. I think I'll chill for a while, let them take control for a bit. What's the worst that can happen?
***
“Umm... what!?”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders were outside their clubhouse. Or rather, what was left of their clubhouse. Some odd machine with whirring lights and tangled wires was now in its place. The clubhouse itself was a smouldering wreckage, mostly in pieces on the ground.
“Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo shouted, causing Sweetie Belle to cower. “I love what you've done with the place!”
Sweetie Belle heaved a sigh of relief. “Umm, that's nice Scootaloo but I didn't...”
“Yeah whatever, let's go up and get a proper look.”
“Those poor apples,” said Applebloom, mourning at the loss of the apple tree.
The three fillies ascended the ruined stairway, taking their time to avoid the gaps, and came to what was left of the clubhouse. It was a mixture of splintered wood and glass with the pulsating machine right in the centre of it all. But instead of lamenting at the fact that they had to rebuild their home, the three were instead in awe at the contraption. Through the mass of wires you could make out some sort of compartment and a screen beside it. The display was currently blank.
“This better not be one of them Flim Flam thingies again,” said Applebloom, rolling her eyes.
Scootaloo ignored her. “Hey, what do you think it does?”
“Only one way to find out!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle before rushing forward and slamming her hoof on the monitor.
The machine clicked into life, the wires started vibrating and steam puffed out of its corners. The monitor lit up and started playing a little bit-chip tune.
After a few seconds of grooving to the beat the Crusaders inspected the monitor more closely. In the centre of the screen the word “Start” was displayed.
“Start what?” asked Applebloom
“I don't know, just hit it again.”
Sweetie did just that, slamming her hoof down with such force that the screen splintered this time. The word disappeared and was replaced by the picture of a bland looking pony.
“Somepony help! There's a pony stuck in this machine!” the three cried.
“We'll save you!” said Applebloom who started whacking the screen repeatedly, trying to break the glass. A new bit of text appeared: “input name”. Applebloom however wasn't interested and continued mashing the image of the pony, trying to break her out.
The display went blank and the machine started vibrating vehemently, causing the Crusaders to topple off the platform and into the mud below.
When they had made their way back up smoke was coming from the compartment. The seal opened and something stepped out into the light.
“Why hello little fillies, my name is 'gafdjgoihniupgbffidjg'. What's yours?” said the bland-looking pony.
The three stood still, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.
“Suit yourself. I'm off to... well I don't know exactly.” With that the pony trotted off into the distance leaving the Crusaders behind.
“How rude, she didn't even say thank you,” said Applebloom, before turning back to the machine. The monitor was back on, again displaying “start”.
“Let me handle it this time,” said Sweetie Belle who turned and tapped the screen, with a lot less force this time.
“Hey, it's the same pony,” said Scootaloo.
Sweetie tapped the screen another time and the image changed: the colour was now a dark blue.
“Ah! Another pony! Help her!
“Calm down girls, this machine doesn't save ponies; it creates them,” said Sweetie as she repeatedly tapped the colour palette in the corner of the screen causing the pony to change.
“Ohhhhh,” the other two said in unison. “How did you know that?”
“It says so,” said Sweetie, pointing at the word 'create' in the bottom right corner, “now let's see what else this thing can do.”
After a few minutes of experimenting the fillies had discovered how to change the colour, race, appearance, mane and size of the pony on-screen.
“Okay, let's make one now! Me first!” shouted Scootaloo, pushing her way to the front. After a minute of fiddling she pressed “create” and name selection screen appeared.
“Hmm, I know just the thing...”
The machine started vibrating again, the Crusaders keeping their balance this time, and a new pony emerged from the smoke. It was a giant orange pegasus and had a strong, muscular build. The mane style was long and resembled that of a rainbow with more than a natural amount of purple in it.
“I present to you, RainbowLoo!” exclaimed Scootaloo, barely containing her excitement.
RainbowLoo scanned the trees in the area before her eyes rested on the the fillies. What was this sacrilege? Where was she?
“Hey, can I ride you now,” said Scootaloo, her eyes wide, “I've always wanted to fl-”
“NO!” roared RainbowLoo, her masculine voice reverberating around the place. She had no idea how she had stepped into this dimension but nevertheless, nopony would give her orders.
RainbowLoo stretched her mighty wings before launching upwards into the sky, the force of which shook every tree in the vicinity.
“I don't think they like us,” said Scootaloo, her eyes brimming with tears. She was so close.
“Yeah whatever, it's my turn now, I've got an idea,” called Applebloom.
After a few minutes the machine was done and Babs Seed stepped out.
“Hey Babs, how ya doin'?”
“Pardon? I prefer to be referenced as Mr. Seed, thank you. Now, do you know where one might find Canterlot? I would rather not be in the company of Plebeians such as yourselves,” said the small filly in a stern but classy voice, reminiscent of Flim/Flam.
“I guess I forgot to switch it to female,” muttered Applebloom.
Mr. Seed left like the two ponies before him, eager to find some upper class ponies where he belonged.
“There better be a Cutie Mark for this,” said Scootaloo, wanting to have another go.
“My turn!” yelled Sweetie Belle.
“Okay but afterwards, I want another go.”
“Me too!”
“Me, uh, again!” shouted Sweetie Belle before turning back to the monitor.
***
Twilight was sitting at her desk in her library. No prizes for guessing what she was doing.
She was in the middle reading a book about a certain bear when she heard a loud knock at the door.
“Spike! Open the door!” ordered Twilight who was in no mood to pause her reading.
Spike didn't answer.
Annoyed, Twilight trotted over to the door and opened it to see a pony residing outside. Her mouth dropped open.
Outside her library was an alicorn. He was shaded a dark black and vibrant red, his colours ridiculously outlandish. He had the cutie mark of a pronged-fork and there was a wicked grin etched across his face.
“Greetings, mortal. You shall address me as 'ScootalooIsBestPony'. I come from the Twelfth Plane of Torment and recently crossed the void in search of souls to harvest. By mistake, I happened to wander into this realm. I now wish to bring this Domain under my control and construct a Dictatorship. Deliver your leader to me or suffer a most excruciating death,” said ScootalooIsBestPony in a menacing voice.
Twilight was in shock. She didn't know whether to cower in fear or laugh at the name: she couldn't take this pony seriously, whoever it was. Either way, what was another alicorn doing here? Wary of its power she thought up a lie on the spot. She didn't want to risk Celestia's life or her own. Perhaps this was all a prank anyway.
“Umm, she's currently in Tartarus,” said Twilight.
“I will see to the tyrant myself,” said ScootalooIsBestPony before slamming the door shut.
“Sweeet,” said Spike who had been watching from the stairway.
“Come on Spike, something isn't right. Take a quick note to Celestia and follow me! I think Scootaloo has something to do with it,” said Twilight making for the door.
Oh that must have been so hard to deduce, Twilight.
***
Rainbow Dash was lying on a cloud way up high. It was a good day, the sun was out, the birds were chirping, and she was going to enjoy it by relaxing. Suddenly, she heard a roar. Something burst through the cloud layer before landing right in front of her. It was a giant orange pegasus which looked sort of familiar...
“Wait, what?!” Dash shouted.
RainbowLoo however wasn't interested. She detected weakness in the pegasus' voice and was ready to find a new opponent. Flexing her wings she kicked off and flew away with blistering speed.
Rainbow Dash barely had time to blink before she saw a Sonic Rainboom some way off in the distance.
Well that was a strange dream Rainbow Dash thought before rolling back over onto her side.
***
Twilight closed her door and looked around. It didn't take long to see that more strange ponies were in Ponyville. Was this some sort of convention?
“O hai der. Ma name iz '5w33ti3_Bell3' . Omg ur such a n00b lol. U dont even lift.”
Twilight looked over to see some grey colt bothering Carrot Top.
“Hey! Leave her alone!” Twilight shouted, rushing over.
“lol bro, u mad?” said 5w33ti3_Bell3 before wandering off. Before Twilight could ask Carrot Top what the hay happened she heard a familiar scream...
***
God returned to his all-seeing throne with his Rainbow Juice. Well actually, he was all-seeing anyway: he just liked the throne. Ok, now let's see how everypony is doing...
Alicorns? Gah, must have forgotten to turn that off. Ah well, this is pretty entertaining. Have to admit that these are much better names than I came up with.
DarkDestroyer, Sweetilicious, LoveIsIn(Apple)Bloom, DiamondTiaraSucks and Bigger McIntosh are a lot better than what I had in mind.
Let's see how this plays out. Won't let things get too out of hoof...
***
The scream had come from Rarity who was protecting herself from another unfamiliar pony.
“Oh Twilight, thank Celestia you're here. Just look at this thing, it's hideous! A crime against fashion and style; I refuse to be anyway near it. Take it away!” said Rarity who was near vomiting at the sight of the pony.
Twilight could understand her feelings. It had a ridiculous colour scheme; shades of pink, blue, green and black as well as a crooked looking spoon on its flank. Its mane and tail were no better and its face was lopsided with one eye bigger than the other. It looked puzzled for a moment before its visage broke into a grin and it started drooling at the mouth.
“Err, who are you?” Twilight inquired.
Multicoloured Spoon mumbled something which nopony could understand.
“I don't think it can speak properly, poor thing,” said Twilight. “Rarity don't be so harsh.”
“I wouldn't have taken to such drastic insults if this thing knew anything about style,” tutted Rarity before giving a “hmph” and walking way, her head high.
***
“I think we should stop now, we're running out of ideas,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Aw, no way! We're so close to getting our Cutie Marks, I can feel it!” said Scootaloo excitedly as she typed in the name “GIVEUSOURCUTIEMARKSNOW”.
“I wonder where all the new ponies have gone,” said Applebloom...
***
Celestia touched down elegantly onto the ground of Ponyville and addressed Twilight Sparkle.
“Greetings, my most faithful student. What ever seems to be the matter?”
“Ponies, ponies everywhere! These new ponies have started appearing in Ponyville!” Twilight shrieked.
“And why would that be an issue?” Celestia quizzed.
“Umm... one threatened to overthrow you?” Twilight said unsteadily.
“Then let them try. I think you're overreacting Twilight; there's nothing wrong with a bit of migration.”
An alicorn walked by with a red bow in her long, flowing, multicoloured, mane. The mane looked surprisingly... similar.
“Aw, hay no.”
“STOP RIGHT THERE!” shouted Celestia before confronting the olive-coloured alicorn. “Might I ask where you got that beautiful mane?” said Celestia.
“How dare you engage conversation without my permission. And that is my mane deary, I am a Princess after all: Princess Applebloom,” said the alicorn.
Celestia's temper was boiling over. She had spent many years sculpting her beautiful, unique mane yet this pony had acquired one too. If she didn't have class she would have slugged her across the head right then with her hoof.
“Guards! Seize her!” shouted Celestia. She would have extreme pleasure in cutting of that mane and burning it.
The royal guards that had accompanied her rushed forwards and restrained Princess Applebloom.
“Unhand me you peasants! Guards! Banish them!” shouted the princess. Unfortunately, none of her guards came. The Royal Guards however were quite confused.
“Now, tell me how you got your mane or I will send you to the moon.”
“Release me at once! Or it's off to the Green Apple with you!”
“I will release you once you tell me where you came from, I promise,” lied Celestia. That mane wasn't going anywhere.
Princess Applebloom wasn't happy but realised she was heavily outnumbered. She began to speak.
“It was dark times. Dark times indeed. I was ruler of the less favoured Green Apples. This didn't satisfy me and I grew jealous of my older sister: Princess Applejack, and her Red Apples. I decided to make a formal complaint, nothing major. Instead I was banished to the Big Red Apple in the sky. I mean, what a horrible sister, right? Next thing I knew I was surrounded by a forest of Red Apples with these three fillies. One of them looked suspiciously like me-”
“Cease talking, I have heard enough,” cut off Celestia who was starting to blush. That story sounded vaguely familiar. “Now off to the moon with you!”
“But, you promised!”
“I do what I want,” said Tyrant Celestia who rushed off to find Applebloom; Twilight and Spike struggling to keep up with her.
***
“Really? You made a pony named 'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz'?”
“Now, let's be honest here, it's better than all those Rainbow Dash ones you did,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Hey! ScootaDash was a classic!” retaliated Scootaloo.
“Girls!” squealed Applebloom, “look who's coming!”
“RainbowLoo returned?!” cried Scootaloo. She'd always have a special place in her heart for RainbowLoo.
“No! It's Princess Celestia!”
Princes Celestia approached, Twilight and Spike by her side, her face red with anger. That mane was serious business.
“What do you three think you are doing!” roared Celestia.
“Oh no, I think she saw 'Molestia',” whispered Scootaloo, “why did you even make that?”
“I don't even know what it means. It just had a nice ring to it.” Sweetie Belle shrugged.
“Nothing bad, Princess. Hey, have you come to join our club?” Applebloom asked innocently.
“No,” said Celestia, lowering her voice to its usual serene self, aware she was acting out of character. “I was just wondering what that interesting machine is.”
Celestia flew over to the Crusaders and inspected the contraption. The input screen was currently on the monitor with the uncompleted name “LunaIsTheBetterSist-” in the box. Sweetie Belle quickly erased it and put a sweet grin on her face.
“Discord!”
Discord appeared in a flash by her side.
“Have you done this?” Celestia asked.
Discord staggered back in shock.
“Celestia!” he gasped, “how could you accuse me of such a thing? I am appalled you would even consider me in this matter. Don't you remember that I was reformed?” Tears welled up in his eyes and he keeled over before rolling all over the ground, his trust betrayed.
“Although I do admit, this is something I would do if I had the power,” he said, standing up.
“Then who?” asked Celestia.
***
Ah Celestia, why did I put you in charge again? Can't take much of a joke now can we. Well this turned out much better than I planned. Still, can't give the game away now, guess it's time to stop. A simple “malfunction” will suffice I think. Now let me just get some more Rainbow Juice...
***
Sparks began emerging from the Pony Creator. The screen cracked completely and the whole thing burst into flame. The fire quickly enveloped the machine and threatened to spread, radiating heat.
“Run!” yelled the Crusaders as they made for Twilight who was at a safe distance, tripping over each other as they did so.
Discord snapped his fingers and in a flash the whole place was flooded. Another click later and the water and fire were gone.
“What?” Discord said, looking innocently at the drenched princess, “I got rid of the fire. I saved everypony.”
“Quite. But have the created ponies gone too?” asked Celestia, anxiously.
“Princess Celestia! We were taking “Princess Applebloom to the Orbital Moon Cannon when she burst into flame!” shouted a Royal Guard, arriving on the scene.
Applebloom moved behind her friends, embarrassed at “Princess Applebloom”.
“I wish I could have seen it- I mean, most unfortunate. Ah well, at least that is settled.”
With that Celestia took her leave.
“Umm, Mr. Discord, could you fix our clubhouse for us?” the Crusaders asked, eyes wide.
“I'm afraid I've been too kind today. Have to stop before people start suspecting me. Now excuse me while I wreak some unsuspecting chaos somewhere far, far away from here.”
With that, Discord took his leave.
“I would have loved to have known what kind of magic was in that machine but it's ruined now. Goodbye Crusaders!”
With that, Twilight took her leave.
“You should have made a pony for me,” said Spike, dissappointed, “I had Spikeosaurus all fired up and ready to go in my head.”
With that, Spike took his leave.
“Now what are we going to do? We don't even have a clubhouse! Or our Cutie Marks!” wailed Applebloom.
“Guess we'll have to get Big McIntosh to help move the remains, come on girls,” said Scootaloo. “We've built it once and we can do it again!”
“I wish we still had Bigger McIntosh,” said Sweetie Belle.
***
Well that's sorted itself out nicely. To be fair, I could have sorted it out with a flick of the wrist. Oh I do love being me. Also, I'm glad I didn't remove all the created ponies. One of them was too good to destroy...
***
Rainbow Dash never knew her name, but she knew that she was special. She would try hopelessly to meet her heroine but the pegasus evaded her everytime; she was just too fast.
Some say she came from Heaven, some say she can clear all of Equestria's sky in ten seconds flat, some say she is the silent guardian, keeping watch over all of Equestria. Some say she is just a figment of one's imagination; forged by our deepest desires and emotions.
Dash knew none of these things for certain. But she knew one thing. The mare was an orange pegasus, with a rainbow-coloured mane. She could be seen on the darkest nights, the coldest moments of existence; flying through the sky, searching for her destiny...
