WARNING: The following story has been rated Mature by the author due to strong language, and references to violence, references to deep depression, and references to suicide. Reader discretion strongly advised.
QUICK NOTICE: I have song lyrics from Eminem's song "Stan" so you can relate it to my story. If you don't want to read the lyrics, just skip over them. They're there at several times in the story.
***
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan
-Lyrics from "Stan", by Eminem
***
Rainbow Dash flew home one Saturday after a whole day of flying. She was tired. She had just been in a show, and hundreds of ponies below had watched her perform spectacular tricks. She had ended the show with her awesome Buccaneer Blaze, which had caused all the ponies below to gasp in shock and amazement at the awesome move. However, it was almost evening, and Rainbow Dash just wanted more than anything to go to bed now so she would be rested and ready in the morning.
As Rainbow approached her home, she suddenly dived down, landing on the ground that was up under her floating cloud house. She went over to her mailbox, grabbed the usual bunch of letters inside, and flew up to her house.
Taking the letters to her bedroom, Rainbow Dash spread them on the bed and began to look through them. As usual, there was the usual fan letters, all from admirers of her. Then, one letter caught her eye. This one was not marked with a name of a pony, it was marked, "Your Biggest Fan". Rainbow Dash shrugged - that was what all of her fans called themselves usually - but she decided to open it first, curious as to why this pony was her "biggest fan". She held the letter and began to read it:
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I've written to you before, but I guess you just didn't get my letters or something. That's ok, I totally understand, you probably get a lot of fan mail so I understand if you've missed mine, but I know you'll get this one. Anyways, how's it going, Dash? I heard about how the Wonderbolts still haven't let you join. That sucks. They totally should have let you join. I know you'd be the best on the team! Now, I know you probably hear this a lot, but I'm your biggest fan, Dash! I truly am, the other ponies who say that are lying. I even bought your auto-biography Spike wrote about you. I have a whole room devoted to you, and only you, Rainbow Dash. It's full of posters of you and even action figures that I had custom-made in Canterlot. I hope this isn't too much to ask, Rainbow, but could you meet me near the entrance to that big field after you have you put on your show there on Friday? I'm taking my little brother there with me and he really wants to meet you. Please write back, Rainbow Dash! I know you got this letter, I had my unicorn friend out a spell on it so you wouldn't miss it when it came.
Truly yours,
My name is Frannie, but ponies call me Fran,
Fran, your biggest fan.
Rainbow Dash read the letter over again.
"Wow," Rainbow said. "That's something."
She was touched by the story. It sounded like this Fran was her biggest fan! I should write her back right away, Rainbow thought, but she knew she couldn't tonight. She was too tired. She swept the letters to the ground, promising herself she would write her biggest fan back tomorrow.
When Rainbow Dash woke up in the morning, she had forgotten about the letter.
***
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too
-Lyrics from "Stan", by Eminem
***
Rainbow Dash had forgotten the letter for the whole week. She was busy with other things, practicing for her show on Friday, getting ready. Maybe the Wonderbolts would even be there to watch her, and maybe they would finally let her join, but Rainbow doubted it. The Wonderbolts had better things to to then go to small-town shows, even if someone awesome would be performing there.
Now, finally, it was Friday. Rainbow Dash had a half hour to get to her show so for now, she was sitting up in her bedroom in her cloud house, trying to stay calm. She would do fine.
Rainbow got off the bed and accidentally stepped on an old letter she had gotten. For some reason, her eyes were drawn to it instantly and she realized it was the letter from Fran, her biggest fan. She had forgotten to write back.
It doesn't matter though, Rainbow thought. I'm meeting her and her brother after the show.
After fifteen more minutes, Rainbow Dash stepped out of her cloud house and took off, heading for her show. She made a mental note to remember to go meet Fran and her brother after the show.
Rainbow Dash flew over the field she was having her show in, and her eyes widened in surprise. There was hundreds of ponies on the sidelines down there, all of whom gave a loud, echoing cheer when Rainbow flew overhead. There was a lot more ponies here than there had been at her last show. Maybe word of how awesome she was had gotten around! Rainbow Dash grinned happily, and her show began.
The Sonic Rainboom was loud and it echoed throughout the field. The rainbow-colored shock wave spread out overhead in a dazzling glow. Rainbow Dash landed on the field and the fans went wild. The Sonic Rainboom always impressed everypony, whether it was their first or hundredth time seeing it.
Rainbow Dash knew she had to go meet her biggest fan, but the fans, realizing the show was over, rushed out onto the field, swarming around Rainbow Dash, congratulating her, trying to get her autograph, and asking questions. Delighted at the attention she was getting, Rainbow Dash talked, laughed, and signed autographs for three hours. She had forgotten about her biggest fan again.
When Rainbow finally got home, she was as tired as she had been on Saturday. She walked into her bedroom, and saw the letter on the floor. She gasped, remembering how she had forgotten to meet Fran, but promised herself she would write back to Fran tomorrow to explain.
The next day, Saturday, Rainbow got a single letter in the morning from the mail-pony, before all of her other mail came. Rainbow took it back up to her house and opened it. It was from Fran, her biggest fan.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
If you didn't want to meet me after your show on Friday, you could have just wrote back to me and said so. But I think it's messed up how you ignore your fans. I mean, you could have at least given my little brother your autograph! He's only five years old, Rainbow Dash! And what's more, he likes you even more than I do! He said he wanted to be just like you when he grows up! Now, don't get me wrong, Dash, I'm not mad, I just wish you were loyal to your fans. That's your Element, right? Loyalty? Well, that's what I read in Spike's autobiography about you.
Please Dash, just one letter from you. If you don't write back, I swear on Celestia's name you'll never lose a bigger fan than me. Please, Rainbow Dash! You're depressing me so much! Sometimes, at night, I cut myself to see how bad it hurts but it's nothing compared to the pain of not getting a letter from you! Please, I just want a letter from you if we can't meet face-to-face and my little brother is really wanting your autograph! Please write back soon, Dash!
Truly yours,
Fran your biggest fan
Rainbow finished reading the letter. She knew she should have written back right then, but then she remembered that Applejack had asked for her help at Sweet Apple Acres. When I'm done helping Applejack, Rainbow promised herself. As soon as I'm done helping Applejack.
When Rainbow Dash got to Sweet Apple Acres, she found that all of her other friends were there, already at work helping Applejack buck the apples off the trees. Big Mac was there, too, and Apple Bloom and her friends were under a nearby tree, discussing important CMC business, no doubt.
Rainbow Dash went over with her friends and began to help with the apples.
Halfway through the day, Rainbow told her friends she had to go do something.
"What's that?" Applejack asked.
"I have to write this letter to a fan of mine," Rainbow said. "It's really important."
Applejack shook her head in disgust. "Rainbow, ya have lots of fans, but they're not the same thing as friends. We really need yer help here, Sugarcube, ah think that letter can wait just a bit."
"Well... I guess," Rainbow said uncertainly.
Near the end of the day, Rainbow said goodbye to her friends and prepared to take off back to her house.
"Wait!" Twilight said. Rainbow turned, and saw Twilight holding a letter.
"What is it, Twilight?" Rainbow asked. "I've really got to get home, I have to write-"
"Rainbow," Twilight interrupted, "This will only take a minute. I have decided to ask Celestia if you could spend six days in Canterlot as a celebration for your spectacular performance yesterday, and she said yes!"
"In... In Canterlot?" Rainbow asked with her eyes widening. "Where I can show the Wonderbolts my moves and everything?"
"Yep!" Twilight said.
"Oh my gosh, you are really a great friend to have, Twilight! This is so AWESOME!"
"You better get going, though!" Twilight said. "They're expecting you this evening!"
"Right away!" Rainbow said, and took off.
Rainbow Dash got back to her cloud house and began throwing stuff she would need in a case. She forgot all about her letters.
When Rainbow was ready, she flew off, heading for Canterlot. She stayed there for six days. On Wednesday, all around Ponyville and the surrounding countryside, there was a thunderstorm.
***
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; (screaming) Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
(car tires squeal CRASH
.. brief silence .. LOUD splash)
-Lyrics from "Stan", by Eminem
***
On Wednesday morning, the carriage hurtled down the road through the thunderstorm and rain at one hundred ten miles an hour, heading for the dam. The driver was planning to drive on the dam - but not completely cross it. She had other things in mind. The pony was the pegasus, Fran, and she had had enough. She would show Rainbow Dash. She held a magic shell to her mouth as she drove, a special shell that recorded voice and sound.
"Dear 'I Dont Give A Crap About My Fans'!" Fran screamed into the shell over the sound of the rain and thunder.
"This is the LAST LETTER YOU'LL EVER GET FROM ME! I thought you would write back, Dash! I thought you were better than this! You know that one time when that accident happened in Saddle Arabia, and that one pony could have saved her friend from falling off that building, but she didn't?! Well, this is kind of like that! You could have saved me from falling, but you didn't! Now it's TOO LATE! Hey Dash, I just drank a bottle of whiskey, dare me to drive?"
Somepony screamed from the backseat of the carriage. "SHUT UP BACK THERE, BROTHER!" Fran roared at him. "I'M TRYING TO MAKE A RECORDING HERE!"
Fran turned her mouth to the shell again. "DID YOU HEAR THAT SCREAMING, RAINBOW?" Fran shouted. "That was my BROTHER! Don't worry, I didn't cut him, I just tied him up and threw him in the back! That's right, Dash! Your two best fans are going to die together! All because you didn't send me back ONE! DAMN! LETTER!"
The carriage was rapidly approaching the dam now.
"ONE MORE THING BEFORE IT'S GOODBYE FOREVER, DASH!" Fran screamed into the shell. "I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I RIPPED ALL OF YOUR PICTURES OFF THE WALL! I THREW THE ACTION FIGURES OUT THE WINDOW! WELL, GOODBYE, RAINBOW! I'VE REACHED THE DAM NOW!"
Fran sharply turned the carriage as it shot onto the top of the dam. It crashed through the guard railing, and fell a hundred feet into the river below.
***
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you.
Damn!
-Lyrics from "Stan", by Eminem
***
Rainbow Dash got back from Canterlot on the sixth day and before she went to her house, she grabbed the load of mail from her mailbox. Equestria's newspaper, the Equestria Daily was in there.
Rainbow flew up to her house, walked into her bedroom...
"Oh, man!" Rainbow said in alarm. "I forgot to write Fran back!"
Rainbow grabbed the newspaper and opened it so she could read it while she wrote back to Fran. She settled down while reading the newspaper and wrote:
Dear Fran,
Sorry it took me so long to write back. I hope you are well. I'm sorry I didn't meet you at my show, I just completely forgot. We'll need to set up a time to meet, though. I am also sending an autograph for your little brother. I hope he likes it.
Now, Fran, there's something I want to ask you about. You CUT yourself because you weren't getting letters from me? No offense, but you sound a little messed up. You really should get some help before you really hurt yourself. I'm glad you're not mad at me though, and yes, I guess I do need to be more loyal sometimes. But you need to get help with your depression before you do something you really regret. Like right now, I'm reading the newspaper and there's the worst news in here. Somepony tied up her own brother and committed suicide by driving off the dam, and it killed both of them. Please get help, Fran, like this poor pony in the news should have done. Mother of Celestia, this is a sad story. It says the pony who committed suicide was-
Rainbow Dash checked the newspaper for the name and her eyes opened wide in shock. "-you," Rainbow said, finishing the sentence she was writing out loud.
"Damn... I'm so sorry, Fran."
