Rarity Has Diabeetus
Dew glistened in picturesque fields of grass. Birds sang contentedly and foals were playing as they went to school or as far from it as they could get. The brightness and cheeriness of the morning weather seemed to be infecting everypony out and about in Ponyville. Peals of laughter circled around the bustling hamlet mixed with sounds of pleasant salutations. Flowers all around the commune had recently bloomed to their fullest glory. The town didn't just have beautiful and happy appearance. It gave an impression of being so harmless and peaceful that it looked vulnerable. In short, Ponyville was in a state of sublime cuteness.
For the newly awakened Rarity, it all would have seemed to be mocking her if she could see it. She'd woken up with swelling along the lining of her throat, a high temperature, a headache, an upset stomach, and tingly sensations in her hooves. It was a terrible malady she'd thought herself immune too, but all ponies thought that before it struck them.
Diabeetus. The dreaded disease that afflicted those exposed to too much cuteness.
How she'd come by it was no mystery to her. She'd been so careless the night before. Working on a big commission for Ponyville Elementary's next play while her sister was visiting, Rarity had thought it sounded like a fun idea to try modelling some of the many costumes on Sweetie Belle. From the hoppity bunny "Harey" to the gallant gopher "Gopher It" and forty costumes beyond they'd played an elaborate and fabulous game of dress up. Now she was paying the terrible toll for an overdose cuteness that had gone on slightly past Sweetie's bedtime. She felt like kicking herself for it. How could she have been such an Applejack?
She sat up in bed with an unladylike groan. There was far too much to do for her to just lie in bed like an icky slug feeling embarrassed and slowly getting better. The nightstand next to her dead had a very full schedule resting on it. She had costumes to deliver, tea with the mayor to discuss that new line of suits she'd be commissioning for the fall campaign, the ice cream social with the vacationing Canterlot bigwigs... ugh! She flopped out of bed and tried to levitate her glass of water over. In her state, her throat was so swollen that it felt uncomfortable to merely drink water. This day was going to be years long.
"Oh, Raaaarity!" Sweetie Belle called in a sing-songy voice, sounding like she was right out in the hall. She sounded quite chipper, and if Rarity hadn't been preoccupied she might have picked up on the fact that Sweetie clearly had something she was waiting to show her. Rarity tried to clear her throat to sound her most normal and poised as she walked towards her closet to choose today's outfit.
"Good morning, darling." she called back, sounding much less refined than she would have liked but evidently Sweetie Belle didn't notice.
"Can I come in?"
Rarity harumphed mildly at her sister's mistake in word choice. "You may come in, yes." Rarity said, for certain corrections needed to be made in the interest of propriety no matter what. Sweetie Belle opened the door a crack, and then waited a moment to build anticipation. Just as Rarity was going to ask after her, Sweetie Belle sprang into the room.
"Meow!" Sweetie Belle squeaked, her voice cracking on the 'ow.' She was dressed in the calico kitten costume Rarity had made for her last night to play the character 'Catankerous.' She began darting across the floor at random. She crouched down and then sprang at nothing a couple times. She from there she started rolling around on her back, rubbing Rarity's curtains with her "paws" while doing her best impersonation of a purr, and basically all the cat stuff Rarity's pet Opalesence was too stuck up to do when any ponies were around.
"I'm totally going to win the play tomorrow night, don't ya think?" Sweetie Belle said as she finished off her routine and ran up to her sister, standing on her hindhooves and putting her forehooves in soft, furry little paw gloves on her sister just like a cat. Rarity would have wondered how her sister had gotten the impression that the play was a competition if the cute display her by sister hadn't unwittingly kicked her diabeetus into high gear. Fever reddened her face, her hooves seemed to go numb, it felt like an ice pick had just been stuck in her brain, and most significantly, the infections in her throat swelled up like she was being softly suffocated from the inside.
"Sweetie, I-I- uuuhhhh..." Rarity's head started to swim from the pain the headache induced and she stumbled away. Without her sister to lean on, Sweetie Belle fell onto her chest in a manner unlike a cat. She looked up at her sister in confusion as Rarity continued stumbling away.
"What are you doing?" Sweetie Belle asked, her pupils dilating a bit in concern. She also had a little laugh in her voice because it seemed possible Rarity was pulling a weird prank on her and she wanted to seem in on the joke. Rarity's eyes had begun to water and it softened the focus of her vision a little. When Sweetie Belle spoke, Rarity glanced at her again. From her perspective, Sweetie looked the most adorable she ever had. The effect that had in regards to her malady was like that of giving two pounds of jalapeños to a pony with heartburn.
Rarity was going to push her sister away or yell for her to go away but stopped herself when she considered how uncouth that would be. Plus her throat being how it was, she couldn't have yelled anything comprehensible anyway. Instead, she turned and started galloping clumsily away, a front hoof at her neck. She shut her eyes, hoping she would be alright if she just couldn't see her sister. She'd gone half the distance needed to leave the room when cuteness struck another cruel blow.
"Rarity, what's wrong?" Sweetie Belle asked. When Sweetie Belle yelled "wrong," that trademark squeak in her voice happened once more. That bit of cuteness was enough to swell Rarity's throat the rest of the way shut and send her head swimming to an extent she could barely think. She lost balance, staggering this way and that as Sweetie looked on in horror. Rarity stopped what looked like a drunken dance only when she fell through a window. She'd kept it open because she'd heard night breezes were good for the complexion. Sweetie Belle screamed for a few seconds before she galloped out of the room, thinking she needed to be down by her sister more than she needed to look out the window.
***
Outside Rarity squished a few flower sprouts as she hit the ground. That provided a desperately needed dose of non-cuteness. Her throat's swelling lessened enough for her to breathe and almost become lucid enough to feel the pain of falling out the window. She panted as heavily as she could and dared to open her eyes. It was still cute outside in Ponyville, but nothing severe.
She had to somehow get back inside and keep away from Sweetie Belle. Probably that would require a locked door. She'd also need to do some soundproofing so that she couldn't hear if Sweetie squeaked at her. But at the same time, Rarity felt she would need to reassure her sister not to blame herself for her sister coming down with diabeetus. Hopefully she'd get an Asspirin and other pain relievers before she became too aware of how injured she was.
She struggled to her hooves, very grateful that apparently nothing was dislocated or broken. She looked around, thinking possibly she'd try to gallop around the rear side of the boutique since Sweetie Belle would run around from the front entrance. Or maybe it would be best to try and hide somewhere away from her boutique where Sweetie wouldn't think to look for he--
"Hi!" came a familiar voice. Out of habit, Rarity turned to the source of the noise. That was a tremendous mistake. It was Pinkie Pie, and Rarity's vision had cleared enough for her to see what the Earth pony was wearing.
"I was just going through my old clothes, cause, hey, spring cleaning. And I found this old sailor suit that you made for me for Nightmare Night, and I just wanted to say 'thank you' for it again! Thank you! I guess I said it twice when I didn't need to, but maybe it would be better to say it twice in case one thank you wasn't enough! Oh, that's three times now! Anyway, isn't it just the cutest thing? The little scarf, the little skirt, the hat, the anchor tattoo sticker, the-- Rarity, you okay?" Rarity couldn't breathe again and had fallen over, her hooves clawing at her neck once more.
"Hrrk! Drriw!" was about all Rarity could say.
"What's wrong!?" Pinkie darted to her fallen friend's side, hoisted her up on by the shoulders, and began to shake Rarity like she so often did milk. "Are you choking? You're choking, right?" Pinkie spun Rarity around and tried to do the Heimlich maneuver. Rarity flailed about but couldn't so much as make an utterance while her throat was sealed shut. Pinkie let her friend go to throw her head back and raise her forehooves to the heavens. Rarity merely fell overly limply.
"My bestest best friend is dying, and she won't tell me why!" Pinkie screamed. In the air above, Rainbow Dash had been in the process of beating a cloud apart when she heard her friend below. A second later, she was in front of Pinkie, turning Rarity over.
"What happened?" Dash asked as she looked at Rarity's purple face.
"I don't know!" Pinkie answered, her head and forehooves still raised to the heavens " I just showed her this sailor dress she'd made me and she went all swollen and not breathing!"
"Diabeetus," Dash whispered. She was well aware of the disease, having used it constantly as a reason why she couldn't take part in any of the frou frou filly stuff that had been popular in Cloudsdale as she grew up. She knew what was called for: shock treatment. But not in front of Pinkie Pie. That would be much too shocking for the pink earth pony.
Grasping Rarity tight around the rib cage, Dash lifted the flailing unicorn back up to her bedroom. She flew up to Rarity's bedroom through the window. She paused briefly to shut it behind her in case some pony with a cute voice started yelling. Sweetie Belle arrived where her sister had just collided with the ground.
"What's Rainbow Dash doing flying Rarity up there instead of to Ponyville Hospital?" Sweetie Belle asked. Pinkie Pie put a hoof on Sweetie Belle's shoulder in an attempt at reassurance.
"It's a grownup thing," she answered, "although right now, it's kind of a messed up thing even for grownups to do."
***
After setting Rarity roughly on the bed, Dash drew her right forehoof back. She winced because this was going to hurt her as much as it would her friend. Then she smacked Rarity across the face. Such a shocking, totally uncute act was exactly the treatment Rarity needed and the swelling along her throat went down fast enough to provide air passage. The headache lessened considerably and her vision cleared enough for her to make out the shape of her Pegasus friend's head.
"Rarity, say something!" Dash yelled. " I'm sorry I had to slap you, but-"
"Hyp! Hhn!" Rarity tried to say. She panted a few more times before she was able to say anything coherent. "Thank... you... darling. I'm fine."
"Thank Celestia," Dash said under her breath. Feeling proud that she had just been the hero of the day again, confidence filled Dash's voice. "The worst is over now. I'll just keep all the cute ponies out, get you plenty of watery gruel, the least cute food there is, and you'll be back to your hoity-toity regular self in no time." As she spoke, Rainbow went over to the door and locked Sweetie Belle out. She'd have to tell the foal to keep her voice down for the next few days.
Taking her to Ponyville Hospital was out of the question. Since Rarity was self-employed and ran a not-too-successful boutique, surely she wouldn't have the bits to pay for the bill. Besides, Rainbow knew from experience there were way too many cute nurses and doctors over there for it to be safe.
"I'm gonna have to tell everypony that you're gonna have to stay in bed. Got like a schedule or something written?" By then, Rarity's vision had cleared up a bit. She turned to Dash, and was fully able to make out her Pegasus friend's face this time.
***
Thirty seconds or so later, a very dejected Dash flew out of the Carousel Boutique, forelegs crossed in a pout while Rarity laid down behind her.
"Stupid disease," she groused. "What does it know? Course it can't tell 'cute' from 'cool.'" At least she'd gotten Rarity's schedule and would be able to cancel all her engagements properly.
***
Two days later, Rarity awoke to another beautiful Ponyville morning.
"Ah, I feel right as rain!" Rarity declared to her volunteer nursing assistant. "I'm better than well again, darling. Thank you ever so much for your services! I'll recommend you to anypony suffering from an overdose of cuteness!"
"Gee, thanks," Cranky Doodle Donkey said.
"Sis?" a voice called from the hallway that took Rarity aback for a second. It was clearly Sweetie Belle speaking in a deep voice to make sure it was less cute.
"Yes, Sweetie Belle?" Rarity answered as Cranky Doodle set her breakfast tray on her lap. Sweetie Belle's head slowly emerged from the right side of the door.
"Can I come in as long as I look like this?" Sweetie Belle's lips were pulled back from her teeth. One of her eyes was wide open while the other was squinting, her hair was askew, and a quill had been stuck up one of her nostrils.
"Oh, Darling," Rarity said. Her eyes began to water. Fortunately, it was only because she was touched instead of a symptom of the disease returning. Even if it had come back at full strength, it wouldn't have ruined the moment for her. Nor would learning that half of Ponyville had come down with diabeetus from watching the school play.
The End
