Heroes, Unite!

by AeshaettrVGLP1

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Random, Crossover, Comedy
Length: 8864

Short random stories, based off of Mistershield's Humans Assemble!

Equestria is in trouble again!
It is up to Celestia to summon some more Champions!

And yes. I have permission to use Mistershield's idea.
He is also my editor. :D

I look freaking forward to this.

-Evil grin-

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-19 00:32:00 UTC

(No) More Heroes.

"Uh...uhm...are you sure you want me to do this?"

The white rabbit tapped his foot impatiently. With little patience already, the bunny decide to skip the middle steps and go straight to the last one. Throwing carrots at his shy carer.

"Eep! I'm sorry Angel! Ok..here goes.. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro and any others. The hereby named characters from video games, movies, books, and TV shows belong to whoever has the rights. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only. Please support the official releases. I..is that it?"

The white rabbit, Angel, nodded, then threw one final carrot.

“What was that for?”

Angel squinted his eyes at her. That was for stealing a disclaimer.

Queen Celestia sighed slightly, staring at the mountain of papers beside her. The room was full of them, all from prominent business and political delegates. Rubbing her temples slightly, she started to sigh, pushing them to the side, and summoning a quill, and piece of parchment.

Settling down, she started to write.

"Twilight! Letter from Princess Celestia!" Spike rushed into the main room of the library, handing Twilight Sparkle a letter. Squeeing slightly in excitement, Twilight took the letter from her assistant, and rapidly unfurled it. However, that excitement turned to a deadpan expression the further she got down the page.

"Spike..."

"Yes Twilight?"

"Get the chalk."

"Wh- Lemme guess. Equestria in trouble."

"Yep."

"Celestia needs you to save the world."

"Yep."

"Sharp rocks?"

"Most likely."

"Bring it on."

Fluttershy was tending to her animals, humming a soft tune to herself as she went from pen to pen, dropping food into her  charge's small homes. As she ducked under the bridge to feed her otters, however, she heard a soft hoofstep above her head.

"Now, this seems like a quaint place..I wonder who lives here. Ah. Best not to pry." The voice sounded...weighted. Each word spoke carefully, and highly thought out. It was also rather quiet, and.. echoed? Fluttershy jumped slightly, banging her head gently on the underside. "Oh. Well, what was that?"

Fluttershy blushed slightly, popping her head above the edge of the bridge...to see a giant of a human. On his head, a helmet, a simple one, with just a narrow slit for the eyes. The helmet looked more like an upturned bucket than anything, though. On his helmet was a long red feather, on the right of his skull. His armor seemed to be made of chainmail, but in his legs were metal plate, over the chainmail. On his chest, again over the mail, was a white tunic, with green shoulders. It had no sleeves, and no sides, and reached down to his knees. Secured in place by two leather belts, the tunic had a picture painted of the sun- Red and orange, with a small face in the center. On his back was a round shield, again painted with the sun, and at his side, a sword, in a sheath.

Was this thing some sort of guard? Those were the only ponies she had ever seen with metal on them before. And the sun picture.. A guard of the Princess?

"Least the sun burns brightly here, so grossly incandescent. Hm? What is this?” The knight turned to the sounds coming from the side. “Good day there, little one. What are you, hmm? A horse, with wings? A yellow horse, with wings. I have seen stranger things, if you would believe it. Now, lets get you out of there, shall we?" The human bent down, chuckling slightly.

Fluttershy blinked, her eyes widening in fear, and recoiling slightly. "Eep.."

"You seem afraid? I don't harm the innocent, little one. And that noise, was...adorable, I believe the word is. It has been a been a long time since I used that word.."

The male reached out his hand, waiting for the shy pony to react. Slowly, she looked forward, then up at him, before reaching up, grabbing his hand. "Thanks, sir.."

The human froze for a moment, then shook his head. "Ah. A yellow, sentient horse with wings. Again, I have seen odder things than this." Like the undead worshiping a giant pot with a corpse in it. Pulling the little mare to her hooves, the human bowed deeply, clasping his hands in front of him. "My name is Knight Solaire. Praiser of the Sun."

Fluttershy, surprised by this man's etiquette, blushed, and turned her head away. He seemed so refined, and his voice was calming. In spite of his weapon, he seemed to be a peaceful man at heart. Of course, things aren't always as they seemed. "M-my name is Fluttershy..Do you know Discord?"

Solaire's head went on the tilt, rubbing the side of his helmet. "Nope. I do not believe so, Ma'am." Solaire, chuckling, flared out his hand, to bow Fluttershy towards her door. "Now, Miss. Shall we talk tales of our worlds? Because I am most certainly not in my own.."

"Umm...I think we should get you to my friend's house...she would know what to do. Especially after last time.."

The knight nodded slowly, then chuckled. "Certainly. Let us be off, then. Is your friend nice?"

"Oh...y-yes. She's the librarian~"

"Ohh, I see."

As they walked towards town, neither of them spotted the odd blue portal above Rainbow Dash's house

"AAAHHHHHHH!!!" *Bamf*

"Ouch. Ok, that hurt." The black haired male sat up, rubbing his nose slightly in frustration. The boy stretched slightly, popping muscles in his back, before yawning. "Damn, I'm tired. I BLAME THIS THING I AM ON. IT IS FAR TOO FLUFFY. What even.." Opening his eyes, he blinked once, then shrugged slightly. "Wow. I seem to be on a cloud. Awesome!"

The boy chuckled lightly, then scratched his nose slowly. "Why am I on a cloud? Wait. Scratch that. WHY IS CLOUD, THAT I AM ON- SO DAMN BIG? Is this Skypeia again?"

After pausing for a moment, the boy shrugged, then sighed slightly. “Meh, doesn’t matter, I’m tired..” Scratching his arm, he shrugged, pulling his hat down over his eyes, as he laid back, laughing slightly, then mumbling something about meat, before drifting off to sleep. A small bubble started to inflate from his nose, as he snored.

For about 30 seconds.

"OKAY. WHO ARE YOU, AND WHY ARE YOU ON MY HOUSE." The noise came about 3 centimetres from his left ear, and so, flailing about, the boy sat up, trying to push his hat up, so he could see, and failing miserably.

"WHAT, WHY, WHO, WHEN, WHERE?!"

"I said..who, are you. And why are you on my lawn?!" The voice sounded angry. Very angry. But female. That isn't too bad. And then, images of a yellow haired girl with a long stick played through his mind.

"Umm..My name is LUFFY! AND I AM A PIRATE!" Finally getting his hat up, he blinked, face to face with a cyan, rainbow maned horse. “And...you are a horse. That has been painted. Who painted you, horsey?”

The voice was silent for a moment.

"THAT IS SO COOL!! AND....HEY. I AIN’T A HORSE. I’M A PONY, AND THIS IS MY NATURAL COLOUR!"

"YOU ARE REALLY FREAKING LOUD. Oh..really? Odd colour for a horsey."

"Sorry..AND. Oh, I give up.." The rainbow pony shrugged, then shook her mane. “Oh! I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in Equestria!”

“So, you are a horse, that can fly. With a rainbow mane..” The horse nodded at this, smiling broadly. “And you are the fastest flyer in Eques...Equestria?” Again, more nods. “And...you are called Rainbow Dash..”

“Yep!”

“Not very imaginative name, really, is it?”

“Buck you. Come on, lets get ya to Egghead, she might know why another of you...things, are here..”

“I’m a pirate, not a thing!”

“What ever. Also, how are you sat on the cloud?”

Luffy looked at the mare, then down. “Well, I went to a sky island. Maybe it is from ThaaaaAAAAT!”

And he was falling. Facehoofing slightly, Rainbow Dash flew downwards, to save the day!

Pinkie was grinning widely, ear to ear. SHE WAS MAKING CUPCAKES. At mach 3.

Again.

Oh well.

She was singing her cupcake making song to herself, giggling slightly.

"All you have to do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix

Now just take a little something sweet, not sour, a bit of salt, just a pinch”

She was so engrossed in making her cupcakes, that she did not see the human stood behind her, a man by the build, silently watching her dart about at blurring speed.

“Baking these treats is such a cinch, add a teaspoon of vanilla

Add a little more, and you count to four, and you never get your filla!!!"

He shrugged, taking a seat on the floor. This one was an odd one. His entire head was wrapped in white scarves. They had a pattern of 3 black vertical eyes in a line, on the front of his head. His white gloves had the same pattern on the back of them. His scarves all pooled at his shoulders, forming a collar to his half open, red pinstriped suit jacket. More scarves could be seen wrapping up his chest, underneath the jacket. On his lower half, there was a black pair of suit pants and black smart shoes.

"OH HEY. Sorry, I didnt see you there! What’s your name?! Huhuhuhuhuhuh?" the Pink One said. She was darting around the male at speeds nearing impossible to follow.

"Asura. Why are you so fast? Also... what is that smell? I have never had anything like it before. It seems so... wonderful." He shook his head slightly, then yawned. "How did I get here?"

The pink, self sustained sugar rush came to a halt, then shrugged. “I dunno how you got here, but the smell is CUPCAKES!!! You should try one!” At that, she seemed to vanish, only to reappear on the opposite side of him. With a cupcake in her hand...hoof, she passed it to him. Smiling expectantly, she stared at him a few moments before frowning. “Come on, eat up! They are so goooooooood!”

Asura simply pointed at his scarves, before handing the cupcake back. “Maybe later. You are an odd one... Well. Relatively speaking. I mean, how could I eat something, with my protection on?”

This horse...pony..thing. It didn’t seem to be affected by his wavelength. Normally, that would terrify him, along with it’s odd ability to seemingly teleport instantaneously. But..it seemed to be somewhat friendly, even if a little crazy. Maybe he was affecting her, after all.

“Aww... but, but, but...” The pink pony sniffled slightly, her hair deflating slowly. “I... I thought you might’ve liked it..”

The God of Madness paused slightly, then sighed. “I’ll try it later. You do nothing to harm me, and I show the same respect to you, in the meantime.”

Pinkie immediately perked up, before bouncing around him, giggling like a little school girl. “Yayayayay! Why would I hurt you anyway?! Silly filly. I need to throw you a party! After we have seen Twilight, that is. Maybe she will know why you are here. You don’t seem like the other one though. He was mean, for the 5 minutes he was here. ANYWAY. After this batch has baked, lets be off! OH, I’m PINKIE PIE!”

Asura simply nodded, dumbfounded how anything can talk so fast, in such a short amount of time. And in one breath too. He turned his head to the side, watching her walk off. Stupid sexy Pinkie Pie. Damn her mentions of butts.

Applejack was out in her barn, grabbing apple baskets and putting them in a pile by the door. It was almost time for Apple Bucking season, and she had to make sure the baskets were still holding together. Not the most fun of jobs, but someone had to do it.

As she piled up the last couple of baskets however, she could hear something beneath her hooves. Hoovesteps, and the sound of dirt being moved. A lot of dirt. Extremely fast. Applejack didn't know what could move that fast, seeing as it had moved 10 metres in a matter of seconds. And then it hit the far wall. Underneath the wall were foundations of stone, built to strengthen the wall above it. After a few seconds, there was more noise of dirt being moved, and then a cube of dirt vanished.

Not moved, but gone, replaced by a human hand, grabbing at the edge of the meter cubed square hole, before going back down. Was she going to have to beat the hay out of someone again. The last human in Equestria had armor. It hurt. A lot.

And then a head appeared, bouncing up from him jumping. But its face was pointed down in concentration, before a soft noise of dirt was heard again. Once more, the human male was standing on something below him. Then he jumped again and Applejack's eyes grew wide, as dirt seemed to materialise out of nowhere, under his feet. He was holding a miniature version of the dirt cube in his hand. That cube vanished, being absorbed it in a streak of brown energy back into his hand. He seemed to frown, his eyes hidden by the darkness in the corner of the room, This guy stretched a sec, rubbing the knee of his blue jeans after. Then, he turned.

“Orange farm-pony” detected. He tilted his head on the side, then slowly held out his hand to her muzzle. After looking at the human, she shook her head, frowning.

"Ah ain't gonna sniff it, if that's what ya want."

The human blinked, and then recoiled, looking at the orange pony. Shaking his head slightly, the human nodded his head towards her in understanding. "Not gonna say anything?" The man shook his head again, looking warily around the room.

"Ok then... Come on, let's get yah ta Twilight. She'll know what to do with yah.."

The human nodded slowly, then moved to stand beside her, smiling lightly.

Rarity was asleep, not time to set up shop yet, you see. However, that was soon to be fixed.

"AAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!" That was Sweetie Belle.

"Oh, shut it. I am not that scary." That was..no one she knew.

In an utter rage, Rarity galloped down the stairs to spot Sweetie Belle in a corner. Her sister was staring wildly at one of her mannequins, possibly the survival armour that she had made for Celestia's Ex-cha-

And then it moved. First, it stretched, looking directly at Rarity. Then, shaking its head, it walked slowly towards the small girl in the corner and knelt beside her. It pulled out a pistol from a holster from its hip.

Wait, a holster? She never had those put into the insane human’s survival jacket. Especially seeing as she had had 20 minutes at the maximum to make a cloth armor strong enough to serve as, well- armor.

Realizing her mistake, Rarity then noted that this one seemed to have armor plated legs, along with more rigid plating. It still seemed remarkably similar to her own though. This was thought in the space of a second, but with some pride in the thought process.

“People are using my design?! Who aren’t from this dimension? YES! Wait. NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!”

"Get away from her!" Rarity put her head down, and, panicking, charged the person in the armor. But before she made contact, he simply stood up and back-stepped, looking down at the alabaster pony. Hm, this one had a horn like the smaller one.

"Relax. It isn't loaded, I just wanted to see if it was still there. I was gonna pet your daughter. She is adorable!" The male said, shrugging slightly, but silently squeeing inside. This girl...pony? Was so darn cute. He was doing all he could not to hug her

"I AM NOT HER DAUGHTER!!"

"SHE IS NOT MY DAUGHTER!!"

"Touchy. Anyway, don't know how I got here, but a world of brightly coloured crayon ponies? Seems incredibly stupid." The armor-clad man said. Rarity and Sweetie Belle looked outraged at this, but he spoke again, before they could interject. Wait a tick... These things could talk. Maybe they could give him answers.

"Any major wars here?"

Both shook their head rapidly.

"A lot of crime?"

Another shake.

"The Covenant?"

A confused look, but a shake of the head.

"I like it here. I'm the Master Chief, by the way." He chuckled, looking around the room. Pony shaped mannequins, clothes, pieces of fabric adorned the room in abundance. A little fancy, but well thought out fancy. Then he saw the cash register, and something clicked. A tailor, perhaps? A fancy tailor, in any case.

"Master Chief? Odd name." Rarity said, sniffing slightly, and getting to her feet, eyeing the armor-clad human. She was still wary of him. Like she was old enough to even have a foal! "I'm Rarity, and my sister there is Sweetie Belle.."

"And you said I had an odd name. It's a title, anyhow." Chief turned to look back at the two, visor reflecting the image of their faces. He decided to like the cuter one, Sweetie. He was reserving judgement on the larger one, that had attacked him. It was only self defence, though. This Rarity was lucky- If he wasn’t used to aliens and inter-stellar travel, he may have a new pair of marshmallow boots.

"I see... Let's go see Twilight... She might be able to sort this mess out."

“Fine, but I’m gonna need a weapon.” Chief bent down again, moving to grab Sweetie into his arms and cuddle her. “No one will be a match for this weapon of mass cuteness.”

“MY SISTER IS NOT A WEAPON!!!”

“I’M NOT... Wait, you think I’m cute?”

And so, the five ponies, and their respective humans went off in search of Twilight.

Well. Five ponies.

Two humans.

One Modified Human.

One Rubber Man.

And one God of Madness.

One weapon of cuteness, inbound!

Went off in search of Twilight Sparkle. Apart from Asura. He had a strange urge to skip down the yellow brick road, to find a wizard, before Pinkie threw a cupcake at him.

“Come on, Silly Filly!”

Shenanigans!

So with the terrible tensome, and the weapon of mass cuteness, off to see Twilight, certain things were bound to go awry. Such as Luffy getting caught by Rainbow Dash, about a centimetre above Master Chief, still hugging Sweetie Belle. Luffy’s legs and arms were hanging down in front of the Chief, as he laughed. “THAT WAS SO FUN! Lets do it again”

“Hold on there, moron, you dropped 300 feet straight down..” Rainbow Dash said, chuckling, before noticing the armour clad human, holding one of her best friend’s little sister. “Hey! Why are you holding Sweetie?!”

“She’s adorable. She could conquer worlds!”

“Put my sister down!”  Rarity caught up, panting slightly, but seemingly not as angry as she sounded. Infact, she was stifling a giggle, by pressing a hoof to her mouth. “Still, that is kind of cute..”

But. My weapon of cuteness. How could I defend myself if not with her? But...the white pony had a point. It was her sister, after all.

“But...She’s so cute!” The Chief sniffed slightly, then put Sweetie down, his head bowed in sadness. “I want one..”

Rainbow Dash blinked, then blushed slightly. “Uhh...unless you are planning on being a dad, then that ain’t gonna happen..” Sweetie and Rarity laughed slightly at this, then looked at Chief. He was now examining Luffy with interest, poking his arm slowly. Luffy just sat there, having being dropped by Rainbow a few moments before. After a second or two, Master Chief grabbed the boy’s arm, then pulled slowly. Instead of Luffy being pulled forward, his entire arm stretched out.

“A child with flesh the consistency of rubber. Odd.” The Chief remarked, before looking at the ponies behind him. First- he assessed the teen. Threat level: Negative 10. After the stretching? Five. Sweetie Belle: Threat level- Over 9000. Rarity: Threat Level- 30. Jury’s still out on her horn. Rainbow Dash: Threat level- Awesome. They were all wide-eyed, mouths open. And then the Chief’s heart melted. Clutching at his chest in vain, he let out a long, pained noise. “HNNNNNNnnnnnnnnggg!”

“Chief?!” Sweetie rushed over to him, prodding his shin with her horn. “What’s wrong!?”

Chief released an audible gasp and then tackled Sweetie, rolling to let her sit on his chest. “Too much cute..Can’t..go on.” Dramatically, he threw his head back, before laughing. When he finished, his head moved back to see the deadpan expressions Luffy and Rainbow were giving him. “...What?”

“You’re stupid.” Luffy remarked, shaking his head slightly, looking at the Chief

“You’re an idiot.” Rainbow said, in sync with the rubber-man, her eyebrow raised.

Chief sat up. bowing his head again as if that was the end of the insults. The spartan then stood up, lifting up Sweetie Belle and putting her on top of his head. “Well, that’s rude. I simply like cute things. Is that bad? I'm a genetically created soldier, made to be the ultimate weapon. I have crushed aliens under my heel. My defence against cute things? -50 percent. My armor was not made to resist cute.”  Shrugging slightly, he made sure Sweetie was holding on tightly, before looking round at the other three. “So, we have a rubber-man, a rainbow pony that can fly, and a horny white pony. Seems...legit, I guess.”

Rarity blinked once, then shook her head quickly. “No! I am a unicorn, you got that?!”

Rainbow Dash was giggling into her hooves, before bursting out in laughter. “Bwa ha ha ha!” Dash fell to the floor, rolling around in laughter. Luffy and Sweetie just looked at each other, before shrugging slightly. Rarity, however, was still in a rant.

“UNICORN. Not...what you said. In any case. Well. Some cases. But NOT this one.” Rarity was getting more and more flustered by the second, and Rainbow just kept on laughing at her. “Oh...be quiet, Rainbow...”

Luffy shrugged slightly, then blinked a few times, staring at Rainbow Dash. Looking back, she blushed slightly, looking back at him. “Wh-what?! Is there something on my face?” She patted her fur slightly, before looking back up at the boy in the hat. A light snore was heard, before Luffy fell backwards, fast asleep. “Umm. What?”

The Chief chuckled, then shook his head. A rubber-man with narcolepsy. This was an odd world indeed.

“HEY. RAINBOW, RARITY! HOWDY! Ah found a human.” Chief, and by extension, Sweetie Belle, turned to look at the newcomer. Or, two newcomers. One was another orange pony, with a Stetson hat. The other was a human, short brown hair, blue jeans, and a teal shirt.

The new human waved, smiling slightly at the small group of humans and ponies. Then frowned slightly at Luffy, who was snoring standing up. Shaking his head, the new human put out his hand to the Chief, who promptly shook it. The Chief spoke up then, looking at the plain looking human. Threat Level at the moment - 5. Applejack and Rarity looked at how the humans were interacting with interest, before the silent human looked at Luffy, walking towards him, and peering at him. And then he woke up.

“AGHHH! GUM GUM BULLET!” Luffy had panicked, and sent his fist flying at the human. He moved to the side however, and his fist flew past him. And then immediately flew past the Chief. And then another 50 foot. This guy could stretch. Far. The Chief took a moment to relook his Threat Level of Luffy. About a 75 now.

However, Luffy quickly apologized, but was wondering why the human was in his face when we awoke. In response, a shrug. “Ah think he was curious why yah were asleep.”Applejack remarked.  The new human nodded, and pointed at AJ, before a light brown stream formed into a miniature sign in his hand, which he placed down, and somehow wrote on it.

Call me Steve. Can’t use my voice yet, been too long.

The rest of the group nodded, then the Chief spoke up. “Steve? What was that thing you did just then. To summon the sign?”

Steve punched the sign, making it small again, before placing it back down, and writing again.

Dunno. Always been able to do it.

Chief shrugged, before turning away, to look at Luffy. He had reeled his arm in, and was fast asleep again. So asleep, he didn’t hear the clank of metal armour walking up behind him. Peering around the narcoleptic rubber-man, he saw a man in armour, and a small yellow pony, with wings. The yellow pony looked up at the Chief, then let out a small “Eep!” and hid behind the person in armour. Holy shit this one is almost as dangerous as Sweetie. Too much cute.

The new human spoke up then.. “Good day. My name is Knight Solaire. I assume you three.” He points at the three other ponies. “Know Fluttershy?” Rainbow, Rarity, and Sweetie, on top of Chief’s head, all nodded, Sweetie giggling slightly. “I see. Well, It is good to meet you all.” Ignoring the sleeping human, Solaire walked up to Chief, and held out his hand. The Chief met his hand to the Knight’s, and shook it.

“Ouch..” As the Chief pulled his hand away, he inspected his gauntlet. There were hundreds of hairline cracks running across it. Just how strong is this guy? He then looked back up at Solaire, who was at this moment in time giving the ponies a deep bow. “Steve” was eating an apple, which he had presumably conjured. As soon as he did, the bones in his right hand started popping back into place. Steve looked at the Chief, and shrugged slightly, pointing at Solaire.

Chief just shook his head, before stretching slightly. “Should we get going then? To this Twilight?”

The entire group nodded, as Chief picked up Sweetie again, and placed her back on his head. “Onwards, men, Ponies, and my WMC.”

“WMC?”

“Weapon of Mass Cuteness!”

I Hate You Already

As the Chief strolled towards Twilight Sparkle’s house, with Sweetie Belle atop his head, and the rest of the ponies and humans behind him, he noticed a disturbance in the force, he felt a presence he hadn’t felt in a long time. Or, rather, his radar. As in, it was messing up, static noise filling his ears. Turning round, he could see that the rest of his motley crue were experiencing some kind of pain, holding their heads and screwing up their faces. All apart from Steve, it seemed. He had done an odd movement with his hands, sliding his finger sideways through the air, and now had seemingly turned deaf.

This guy breaks physics on all sorts of...AGH. That noise. Solaire, praiser of the sun, cockblocker of Darkwraiths, was staring at Steve. His expression was unreadable, but to the Chief, his armor seemed to be...melting .Maybe being on a brightly coloured world with pastel ponies DID have some side-effects. He couldn’t see anything wrong with Steve though. And then Solaire lifted his arm, holding a simple piece of white cloth. What was the melting Knight doing? Luffy was asleep again. How could the hatted boy sleep through this? He tried to speak..but couldn’t. His mouth was sealed closed!

The Ponies seemed to be unaffected by the madness that was affecting the humans and was looking on in confusion. And then a crack of thunder was heard, as the white cloth in Solaire’s hand crackled with thunder, and then lengthened to make a spear of Lightning, aimed at Steve’s heart. Quickly, Steve summoned a block of cobblestone, and placed it in front of him. And then another, as Solaire threw his spear. By this point, Steve had summoned, and built, a giant wall, protecting him from the spear.

Fluttershy was trying to restrain Solaire, but he seemed to be stronger than a God Damned Brute. A fact that was reinforced by the fact that he punched through the cobble stone wall. He was about to start choking Steve, when a hyperactive Pink Pony burst out of his surcoat.

“HEYMOREHUMANS! WHOAREYOUWHATAREYOURNAMES!” She cried, squeezing her way out of his coat. This seemed to shake Solaire, and indeed everyone, out of the illusion that was affecting their minds. Blinking, Luffy woke up again, to see a tall man standing behind the Chief, scarves wrapped around his head.

“Hey, scarf-guy. What are you so scared of?” Luffy said, blinking a few times before stretching, and standing up. For how simple the kid seemed to be, he seemed to have a good grasp on emotions. Even if he was fairly stupid, and narcoleptic.

The Knight, and Steve were talking over by the giant wall of FRICKIING IMPOSSIBILITY COBBLE, seemingly making up about the bout of hallucinations that plagued Solaire. The Chief looked behind him, Sweetie Belle squeaking adorably as she did. After a second or two of staring at the personage in front of him, the Chief spoke up...or started too. “Why you got them bandages around your head, huh?! You some kind of spy?! R U A SPAH?!” Rainbow Dash shouted, right in the new human’s face.  Steve, at this point facepalmed, before slamming his sign down, and rapidly typing.

FUCKIN SPIES MAN. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE MAN. SOME KINDA CONSPIRACY!

“Yeah! Steve’s got the right idea! SO, YOU SOME KINDA SP-Mmph!”

Applejack had placed her hoof gently over her suspicious, polychromatic friend’s mouth, silencing her for the moment. “Ah think yer scaring him, sugarcube..” She said, looking at the slightly shaking human. As the scarfed man nodded, Pinkie appeared next to him, nuzzling into his leg.

“Don’t be scared, silly-filly! Dashie is just a little nervous of different looking people! And, well, you look a little scary with those bandages..” The pink mare said, grinning up at her human friend.

“I guess more introductions are in order, huh?” The Chief said, motioning the others over with one hand. As the others gathered around him, he pointed along the line of humans and ponies assembled in front of the new guy. “Okay. The one who placed the sign is Steve. I’m gonna do a full report on abilities and other important material later. Next to him is Applejack, Steve’s partner, for want of a better word. The next pair is Luffy, who is...asleep again, no surprise there, and Rainbow Dash.” Whilst all the ones before had waved, nodded, or bowed, Rainbow simply glared at the new man. “Next is me, the Master Chief, but call me Chief, and Rarity here is my partner. Also, the one on my head is Sweetie Belle. She is my weapon of mass cuteness, and if you hurt her I WILL kill you, are we clear?” The tall, covered man nodded rapidly, stepping back once. “Next to me, is Knight Solaire, and Fluttershy. She’s a little sensitive, I think.”

The man nodded, before gesturing towards Pinkie to go first. “Well... I’M PINKIE PIE, AND I LOVE TO PAARRRTAY!” Chief simply faced her, before looking at the male.

“Call me Asura. I’m one of the Eight Great Warriors” He said, before looking at each of the humans in turn.

As Asura looked at Steve, he felt an extreme pain in his head. He suddenly fell to the floor, panting for a few seconds before standing back up. No-one else had really paid attention, his pupils had disappeared and his eyes were pure white, before shaking his head and his pupils returning.  However, Applejack asked him “What tha hay was that?”, Steve looked at her, his head cocked on the side, before resummoning his sign.

What was what?

At that, Applejack looked at him, very confused “I... I uhhh, nevermind....” She shook her head, then turned to see how the other humans were doing...

Luffy seemed fairly unaffected by Asura’s gaze. Perhaps he was so simple, mind affects didn’t really work on him? In any case, he was awake, at last, and stretching out, but seemed to have a slight headache. Chief was faring better than Steve, his legs feeling a little shaky before a power surge boosted his armor, giving him a second layer of protection as it started to pulsate slowly against his flesh. However, up top, he was starting to see things again, colors melting slowly into each other, and the human in front of him seemingly growing new arms, before the spell passed, and his armor returned to normal.

Solaire wasn’t doing much better than Steve, and possibly worse. His muscles visibly bulged, and electricity started to crackle around his left hand, but he turned to the group, backing off, and saying something about “Hollows” and “Demons”, throwing a punch at Chief, one which he knew would go straight through him. Thankfully, Asura looked away before he could finish the punch, causing him to topple over at the sudden change of balance, that his mind wasn’t fully aware of. This made him land face to face with Fluttershy, his helmet brushing her nose.

“Eeep!”

As the mind rape stopped, Chief simply faced the rest of the group, an irritated twang in his voice. “Can we go for 5 damn minutes without something happening, please?!”

Pinkie simply looked at him like he was crazy, before pointing over his shoulder. Chief sighed, already knowing what he was going to see, before turning around. Behind him, was indeed a purple unicorn. This one had a dark purple mane with a mauve stripe through it. Her fringe was straight cut, and the same pattern was apparent in her tail. Her “cutie mark” was a purple, six-pointed star, with white stars around.

By her side was a tall, white haired male, sword strapped across his back. He had white hair, cut to his shoulders, and on his face was a cocky grin. He was wearing a red, studded leather coat, with no shirt underneath, and a leather strap across his chest. On his lower half was a pair of tan leather pants, and a pair of black leather boots. “‘Sup. More horses, huh? Got any pizza? Fuckin’ starving over here.”

Chief just turned to this new guy, and then shook his head. “I hate you already.” He sighed, before looking back at the group behind him. “I...can we just go inside please? Today has been an odd day.”

The new guy shrugged, spinning around, and kicking open the door to the library...tree..thing, Treebary, yeah lets go with that. Solaire just shook his head, before looking at Twilight. Her left eye was twitching slightly, so Solaire kneeled by her, and patted her head softly. “It is ok, Little One. I am sure he won’t always be like that...” He didn’t sound very sure, he had met someone similar to the red jacketed lad. Lautrec was arrogant, and cruel. Hiding behind good deeds, he had eventually murdered Anastasia  of Astora, Solaire’s cousin, before fleeing to Anor Londo. There, the Chosen Undead had defeated him in a battle, whilst outnumbered 3 to 1. Fuckin’ Lautrec. Sighing, he shook his head, before drawing the small purple unicorn into a gentle embrace. To his surprise, Fluttershy joined in, hugging Twilight, and his own armored arm. Solaire wasn’t used to such kindness from anything that had a mind, bar perhaps the Chosen Undead.

Luffy was sitting down, on the floor, refusing to move, probably about to nap again. A move that was not lost on either the Rarity, or Rainbow Dash. The Dashmeister blinked, before nuzzling the side of his head. “Hey, Straw-Hat, what’s wrong, bro? You look down?” It was true, the boy had his arms crossed, his hat low, and a scowl on his face.

Rarity had also noticed, and had decided to take a more direct route. “Come on, chop chop, we can’t keep Twilight waiting!”. She started to push on his back, before he pushed her away. “Come on, what is wrong? You seemed fine just a moment ago. Well, you seemed asleep a moment ago, but...”

Luffy, shaking his head again, threw his head back, and shouted one word. One. Word. “MMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT” At that, Solaire, and Steve both facepalmed, the rest of the group of humans, and their pony partners (Apart from Twilight and Rarity.) already gone inside. The two other humans had already worked out that the ponies were vegetarian, mostly by the fact that they were, in fact, ponies.

“Luffy, you are, indeed, an idiot.” Solaire said, shaking his head, whilst Steve simply nerd-poled straight up, away from the embarrassment of the scene below. God fucking dammit Luffy, get your shit together.

Fluttershy had simply frozen, looking at the rubber-man. He blinked, looking back at her, then grinned, showing his canines. Rainbow Dash had scooted away from him, her eyes wide in fear, her mouth open. Twilight was still having a nervous breakdown about Dante, so she was out of the picture..

“What? I’m hungry. A pirate needs to eat.” Luffy said, looking at Rainbow. He seemed confused at what was going on around him.

“Y-you eat meat?” The polychromatic mare said, nervously. What was going on with her body?! It was like she was paralyzed with fear... Egghead would know. But... those teeth! She could imagine them sinking into her chest, tearing her heart out. Why did that sound good?! Freaking endorphins, or whatever Egghead had said about adrenalin rushes, making her head go all woozy.

“Yeah. Don’t you? Oh, wait, horsey. Horsey’s wouldn’t eat meat. I wonder where I can get meat though. Maybe in that forest I saw whilst falling.” Luffy said, oblivious to the tension around him. Fluttershy, however petrified she may have been, spoke up, against all odds.

“You won’t eat us, Mr. Luffy...?” She whimpered, looking at the boy. She was trembling slightly, but trying to get in control of herself.

“Why the hell would I do that? I’m hungry, not a cannibal. You’re still a person. I’ll get some food later, I guess. Better not be too much later though..”

And with that slightly ominous phrase, he stood up, stretched, and then looked up. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!” It was fairly obvious who he was talking to, as Steve simply plummeted to the floor, with a sickening crunch of leg bones snapping. Summoning an apple, he munched complacently on it, as his legs slowly reformed back into place. With a wince, Fluttershy turned to Twilight and Solaire again. She seemed happier now, seeing as she had a new test subject for research. Steve should not have shown regenerative properties in front of Twilight.

Oh Goddess No. “Ooh! How did you do that?! That shouldn’t be possible, according to the rules of Regeneration magic. I mean, you didn’t even activate your aura!” She started to rant on, before Luffy grabbed her mane, and pulled her backwards into the treebary of awesomeness. Oddly, it wasn't hurting. Solaire and Fluttershy spoke up, at the same time, though, explaining that Steve was a mute, he uses signs to communicate with people. And then they all entered, Rarity just behind them, with Steve bringing up the rear. Into the oddest scene ever.

Master Chief was pointing Sweetie Belle at Dante, who was laughing his ass off, too out of breath to point his sword at the Chief. Asura was sat on the ceiling, whilst Pinkie Pie was sat on his head. Upside down. Dafuq. Anyway, Spike was just blanking out at this whole scene, whilst Applejack’s hoof was seemingly stuck in her face. Just for a moment, Twilight thought she could see two other human males.

One had long brown hair, wildly curled, covering his eye sometimes. He also had one piercing blue eye, the other being covered by a long scar. Hie eye was sometimes green. With a bit of yellow. They were a subtle mix of colours, seeming to change constantly. He was wearing a black shirt, with a symbol on it, a yellow Estus Flask crest, and at the bottom, the words “You Died”. Under his shirt, a silver chain, with a pendant on the bottom, could be seen. Over his arms, and back, was a open hoodie, dark grey in colour, with the neck tie chewed slightly. His hands were visible, showing more scars. On his lower half were a pair of blue jeans, with a chain hanging down from his pocket, around, and then back up around his leg, to his behind. On his feet were a pair of steel capped boots.

The other had wildly spiked, black hair, with white tips, with a pair of aviation goggles resting on the top of his head.

He had soft, brown eyes, which were always half open, like he was really freaking bored, or sleepy.

His clothes, consisted of  a necklace, a tribal symbol, laying on his chest. He had a bandana tied around the top of his left arm, and he too had a hoodie, this one black, with a white Hyrulian Crest on one sleeve, and the other having a half spiders web. No shirt though. He had a pair of black jeans on, with a decal styled to look like white paint spatters. On HIS feet, were red Converse shoes, with a Pokeball on the toes. And on his left hand, was a tiny tattoo, consisting of three dots in a triangle.

The one with one eye had turned to the other, and had spoken something about a portal spell, before starting to fade. The one with black and white tipped hair had glared at Luffy and Rainbow Dash, saying something about “HIS RD.”

And then they were gone.

“What the hell is going on here...?” Twilight said, mimicing Applejack.

.

A Meeting of Minds.

“What in Lordran is happening here?” Solaire exclaimed, staring at the Chief. At least Chief usually kept some sort of rationality. Dante was still howling with laughter, but calming down slowly, giggling about “WMC”, or something of that variety. Solaire recognized the acronym. THAT was why Chief was holding Sweetie Belle like a gun. Still though, that looked weird...

“HE INSULTED SWEETIE. NO ONE INSULTS SWEETIE.” He said, still pointing the little filly’s horn towards the white-haired man. Before looking up at Asura and Pinkie, shaking his head in sheer confusion, and looking back down. Dante had stopped laughing, following his gaze.

“Odd pair, aren’t they? Or rather...scary. I mean, look at them. They’re just breaking physics like it’s nothing..” Dante said, staring at the God of Madness, and the pink pony. He didn’t really get physics, but he knew enough to know that people CAN’T sit upside down on ceilings. “Not possible.”

Chief nodded, before placing Sweetie back on his head. Somehow, without tackling the problem directly, they had come to an understanding. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” Sweetie said, a little confused about what had just happened, but shaking her head to get to a new topic, as only young children could. “But, Mr. Asura seems friendly enough, doesn’t he?”

Steve raised his eyebrows at this, but letting Solaire talk for him. “Apart from the fact that he can cause people to go insane by being near them?” Asura seemed to hear him, as he glanced towards the Knight, before facing the wall again, still talking to Pinkie Pie. The Chief nodded, nonchalantly removing AJ’s hoof from her face. The orange mare blinked a few times, before trotting over to nuzzle Steve’s side.

“‘Least you ain’t an idiot, Steve. Ah think yer too protective of Sweetie though, Chief.” AJ said, shaking her head. Not missing up the opportunity to take the piss, Dante spoke up.

“Yeah, it’s like ya have a crush or something, Chef.” He said, in a stern tone. Rarity almost immediately picked up on what he had said, and growled slightly, stomping up to the Chief.

“WHAT?! SHE IS ONLY NINE YEARS OLD, you PERVERT! Sweetie, get off of him!” Sweetie and Chief were just confused, flailing both arms and hooves. Sweetie also snuggled deeper into the Chiefs helmet, as Dante roared with laughter again. Rarity looked about ready to lash out, until something white coiled around her wrist. Looking up, she saw one of Asura’s trailing scarves latched around her hoof.

“I believe Mr. Dante was making a joke...” The Kishin said, his three-eyed scarf staring at Rarity. Nodding nervously, Rarity stepped backwards, looking at the God of Madness. He shrugged lightly, before looking to Chief and Solaire.

Dante shrugged as well, moving to sit beside Twilight, who was by now on her sofa. There was a slight twitch, but nothing too major. Steve and Applejack decided to sit beside each other against the opposite wall, with Solaire and Fluttershy stood to their left, nearer the door to the treebary. Luffy and Rainbow had the same idea, Rainbow laying on a bookcase, Luffy sat beside her feet, grinning all the while. Asura and Pinkie chose to stay on the ceiling, Pinkie giggling all the while. Chief, Rarity, and Sweetie stood, Chief’s arms folded. Now was the time for business.

“Right, men. And ponies. We need to strategize. There is no telling what kinds of things could be waiting out there for us.”

“Who says there are things out there?” A voice said, coldly. This was Rarity, Seems she didn’t trust him after Dante’s little prank.

“Miss Rarity, we may not be the only people pulled into this world. Or the only things from our own worlds.” Chief said, facing her. Steve, at this, started to shake slightly, a slight look of fear passing across his visage. Looking at the mute human, he nodded. “And I don’t think Steve wants that in any way. SO. I need a full roster of abilities and equipment. Pinks and Asura, you are up first.”

The party mare decided to jump off of Asura’s head, flipping to land on her feet. “Oooh, I can bake! And throw surprise parties! And. And.. AND I HAVE MY PARTY CANNON. And I know everyone in Ponyville!”

Everypony in the treebary facehooved at her mention of Party Cannon, but both Knight Solaire and Master Chief were thinking. It was Solaire who spoke up. “So, you can bake. That means food. Excellent..and surprise parties?”

“Means surprise ambushes. And your mention of a Party Cannon? May we see~ wait. Not in here.” Chief said, sensibly. “Okay. Solaire, want to go next with Fluttershy?”

“Certainly, Chief. Well, I am Knight Solaire, and..well. I can heal, I have experience with a sword and shield. I believe that is it.” The Knight

“Along with punching through solid walls, and throwing lightning. Seriously, too cool.” Rainbow Dash interjected, grinning lazily at Solaire, before raising her eyebrow at Fluttershy.

“Oh! Umm... I-I’m Fluttershy...uhh....I look after animals.. they seem to listen to me, and I nurse them back to health..” She muttered, looking away from the group.

“So, two healers, one of which is a front line fighter, the other can talk to animals, does that sound right?” Chief asked the group in large. Twilight nodded slowly, looking rather nervous, a look that grew when Dante placed his hand atop her head, chuckling lightly. Dante spoke up then. “Us next, Chef?” When Chief gave an irritated nod, he laughed, before clearing his throat. “My name is Dante, and I am half-devil, half angel. I can summon certain weapons from my own soul, I have limited flight capabilities, along with improved strength and agility.” He said, boasting, and laughing at the stunned expression on Twilight’s face. “Aww, Ickle Twilight scared of big mean Dante?” He teased, chuckling as her face became hard again, stroking behind her ear.

Pulling away from his hand, Twilight huffed, looking away. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I am well versed in magic, and it’s applications. I also have extensive knowledge of Equestria, if that helps.”

“It helps a lot, Miss Sparkle. So, a ranged fighter, if I get this right, with great knowledge, and a melee fighter with augmented abilities.” The Chief summed up, looking at pair. After a few seconds of thought, they both nodded grinning in sync. “Excellent. Luffy, Rainbow.”

Luffy spoke up first, cutting off Rainbow, grinning at her. This made her visibly blush and freeze up, before shaking head. “Well, I am Monkey D. Luffy, but call me Luffy. And I am a rubber-man, and I AM GONNA BE THE PIRATE KING!” Everyone stared at him, but there was nothing more coming forth from the kid. Rainbow blinked slightly, before shaking her head comically. “Uhh, I’m Rainbow Dash, and I am the FASTEST MARE IN EQUESTRIA!” She shouted, grinning from ear to ear.

“Two hit and run fighters then, it seems. Steve?” Solaire said, talking for the Chief. However, Steve already had a sign up in front of him.

Do Chief first, mine would be easier to show, not type.

Chief nodded, looking at Rarity, before talking. “Well, I am the Master Chief, although you seem to have taken to calling me Chief, not that it matters. I am trained in hand to hand and firearms combat, I can jump to a planet from orbit and survive. I can’t swim though, not in this armor. And my weapons are gone. Rarity?”

The Alabaster mare smiled lightly. “My name is Rarity, and I can use some of the same powers that Twilight over there can. However, not to the same level, unfortunately. I can create casual wear given materials, and I can find gems.”

“So, diplomacy and money finding, and a front line fighter?” Rainbow Dash ventured, smiling lightly. Chief nodded, and then motioned to Applejack.

“Well, ah’m Applejack, and ah’m just’a farm pony, really. Ah grow apples, ‘nd harvest them. ‘Lthough, Ah’m quite strong, ah guess.”

Chief nodded, before looking at Steve. In response, he stood up, and walked out, beckoning them to follow.

Steve had lead them all to a small clearing, with a few trees around. Looking behind, to check they were all there, he walked up to a tree. Looking at it, then how tall it was. Only a few metres above him. Excellent, wouldn’t need to nerdpole up to grab the last few bits.

And then, he punched the tree. A solid metre block of bark vanished, absorbing back into his arm. He smiled at the group, their mouths open, apart from AJ. Then a crash, as the tree fell down on the stump, and started tilting towards him. Frowning, Steve walked back, slamming his fists into the tree. One after another, metres of the wood were absorbed into his hands, until he dodged the falling twigs and leaves. Grinning, he walked towards the group, ignoring the shocked stares, whilst he summoned a wood block. Throwing it up, he punched it, splitting it into four blocks of wooden planks, and then catching them, before slamming them into the floor, making what seemed to be a work bench. Slamming a pile of 3 wood blocks into the table, turning them into twelve planks, he grinned, as two of those planks were turned to sticks. Looking at the table, he placed two sticks, then three wooden planks on top of them, before slamming his fist down. In his hand was a full-sized pickaxe, which he lazily spun around, before facing the group, smiling lightly.

“Uhh...wow.” Applejack said, blinking lightly, before shaking her head, and grinning at the Crafter. “Tha’ was awesome, Steve!” In response, he simply shrugged, grinning back, before slamming his fist into the floor under him, making a stairway through the dirt, until he reached stone. Hopping back up, he gave a thumbs up, his pick nowhere to be found. Absorbed into his hand, most likely.

“Yeah. What can you make, Steve?”

Got a few hours? Its a long list.

Taking the hint, Chief nodded, before looking at Applejack, then back at the Crafter. Thinking out loud, he chuckled. “So, Steve can absorb blocks of material, and can make pickaxes, and probably other tools. Applejack is a strong pony. AJ, Steve,you are to be resource gatherers! Rest of you, on stand-by”

Caught off guard by the order, Applejack nodded, whilst Steve saluted, grinning as he slammed his fist down on his crafting table as he did so, absorbing it into his body. Motioning to AJ, she trotted over to him, and nuzzled his side once again. Rainbow Daww’ed, but stopped when she felt Luffy’s hand scratching her head. Looking up, he saw that he was actually a few metres behind her, his arm stretching. She shook her head, before walking up to him, grinning slightly. “The Chief seems to know what he’s doing, huh?” she said to the rubber-man, smiling nervously.

Luffy nodded, smiling from ear to ear. “Yeah, he’s pretty smart. Hope Hat-pony and Stevie gonna be alright. Wonder if there’s any meat down there...” Rainbow tensed up, the slightly familiar canines still glinting in her vision. Fighting down a startled moan, she looked away, before grinning stalwartly.

“Yeah, they’ll be fine, AJ knows her stuff. Besides, what is the worst that could happen?”