A Brony Goes to Ponyville and Scares Everyone

We find our hero sitting in front of his computer screen looking at R34 images of ponies. His hand is down the front of his khaki shorts, and he has to lean forward slightly due to his obese frame and stubby arms. The task is such a heavy strain that he has to lean back every now and again to catch his breath. The chair squeaks and creaks rhythmically causing his cat, Fausticonilicious, to leave the room in discomfort. "Oh I wish I was in Ponyville!" he cries out, hoping a nearby mystical pony related entity could pick up his pleas through the basement where his computer dungeon is. Our brave knight (which will now be called Brownie because I really cannot be bothered to think up enough heroic terms for this guy) then calls it a night and sleeps in his chair. He opens his eyes after what appears to be five minutes and for no apparent and/or logical reason he finds himself in the Everfree Forest!

"OH CHEESE AND CRACKERS!" Brownie exclaims, "I think I'm in the Everfree Forest!" Brownie just stands there adjusting his glasses so he can check his surroundings. He sees a hut in the distance. He gasps so loud and hard he almost has an asthma attack. "FLOPPING FLOUNDERS! THAT MUST BE ZECORA'S HUT!" Brownie screamed as he waddles his fat chafed legs to the door. He knocks on the door to the hut which creaks open, so he invites himself in and notices the zebra character from My Little Pony known as Zecora. She's standing with her back to him and stirring a pot while happily humming a tune. Brownie nervously and shakily makes his way towards her. He stopps three feet away from her rump and just stares at it. Zecora is just humming away completely oblivious to the large, sweaty meat-bag behind her with his eyes fixated on her plot. She senses a presence only by smelling the rancid onion burger body odour that made its way into her nasal passages. She turns and is taken aback by the sight she sees in front of her.

The mood in the hut is a strong awkward curiosity. Unable to keep the uncomfortable silence from carrying on any longer, Zecora forced a smile and is the first to speak. "Hello stranger who walked through my door. I've never seen a creature like you before."

Brownie could contain his excitement no longer. Seeing Zecora fills him with joy, but hearing her rhyme was the cherry on the fan-boy cake. His breathing is a lot more noticeable now, sharp short breaths through his unbrushed teeth makes the meeting more awkward than it should. On top of that, he farted a little. Going by the now puzzled look on Zecora's face, Brownie has to answer, "I'm a Human! I'm from a distant land ... Or planet. I fell asleep and woke up here! It's so nice to meet you Zecora!" He then slowly walks towards Zecora hand reached out with the intention of stroking her mohawk. He thought wrong about Zecora being compliant as she backs away uncertainly.

She said, "So you fell asleep and woke up here. I don't find the logic in that very clear. You say you're a human which I do not know, but you know my name? How is that so?"

Brownie Laughs in a rather patronising manner, "It's a show on TV called My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. I know all your names, and even your rulers Celestia and Luna. I'm your biggest fan!"

Zecora had just felt like her brain imploded. She was disturbed that this thing was in her hut, but she was even more deeply disturbed by the fact that the whole town was under some sort of surveillance, and that this creature and possibly more like him were watching their every move. This was all too much for poor Zecora to sink in, so she asks the human to go to Twilight as she would have a better chance of helping him. Brownie hugged the now terrified Zecora goodbye and made his way outside, leaving Zecora standing frozen in the middle of her hut, dazed, confused, and now smelling like armpit sweat and tangy cheese Doritos.