This Monster I Have Become

by Monochrome Noir

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Sad, Romance, Slice of Life
Length: 2487

What monsters are you hiding within yourself?

There are monsters, both real and fantasy. But there are also the monsters within ourselves. The ones we repress, the ones we have shown, and the ones that we are. For some, that metaphor is a reality.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-26 01:18:54 UTC

Prologue: Intentional infection

When the bite first happens, the pain is quickly reduced to pleasure. Some compare the pleasure to that of what happens behind bedroom doors with the one you love. Some even claim to get bitten by there own will, effectively giving them the title of 'cattle'. One such cattle was unique. His original name was not of importance to the infected, but they simply called him by the name of Rune.

A dark, moonless night descends upon the castle outside of a newly forming apple orchard. Many of the castles inhabitants are nocturnal 'obominations' as some call them. Rune, however, was not. He was simply a courier for them. sending messages to and from one another from within the castle walls. As he walked within the dimly lt halls of what they call The Erebos, he would refrain from carrying any form of light source, as they would see him coming.

Rune quietly sung to himself as not to be frightened within the dark. His red eyes reflected what little light they could, which was good, because it meant he could hide if he wished to. But as he ventured further down the hall, he noticed a pair of bright orange eyes staring at him from an open door. Rune froze mid-trot as to try to get a glimpse of who it may be. The eyes never lost their focus as the figure stepped out. Rune could make out a thin frame, signaling it was a mare. They had always treated him as a child or a play-thing rather than a rat. Letting loose a sigh of relief, he carefully and slowly trotted forward.

"M-message from Dusk... he wishes to see everypony in the main foyer for some kind of grand ceremony?" Rune was never good at talking. Especially if one wrong word meant they would rip your throat out. And believe me, it has happened. "I'm not sure who I'm talking to, actually... Dusk sent me to get Ivory? If you are her?" Rune sheepishly looked down at his hooves as the mare let go a soft giggle.

"Oh, little Rune... always the nervous one around me, aren't you? I have that effect on many stallions, but I never thought my cattle would be affected." She slowly drifted forward and carressed his cheek with a hoof. Rune shuddered with delight under her delicate touch. Ever since she had made him hers, he had developed a crush on her. Most cattle were supposed to be slaves toward the one who chose them, but Rune was different. Ever since Ivory had chosen him, he's had his own free will. Ivory squished his cheeks together and pressed her snout to his in a teasing manner.

"Now... tell me what exactly Dusk said, okay? And if you're a good colt, I'll give you a present." Rune visibly perked up at her statement. It was an enticing offer that was very rare to him, but he often turned them down. Most of the 'presents' givin to him were swift bites or harmful pranks. A bit of fun to the castle ponies, but always humiliating.

"I'm... sorry, Ivory. I'd rather not have any form of present tonight. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have seventy others to tell. I just pray that Layre is already there... he doesn't like me." Rune took another breath before continuing. "And Dusk says 'A special welcome is in order to the special newest member of our family. Meet me in the Grand Hall in one hour. Ivory, bring Rune with you, as he will want to be there.'" Ivory's eyes grew slightly saddened upon hearing this. Dusk had done it. He was bringing in Rune to see the initiation of the family. She let go of his cheeks and trotted down the hall without another word. Rune watched in curiosity before continuing down the hall.

As the ponies gathered in the foyer, Ivory made sure to stand close guard over Rune by wrpping her bat-like wings around his body. Now, being a pegasus, Rune could have done this himself,  but something about Ivory's embrace made him feel more comfortable. Casting a glance at her, he could see her once again in the lighted room. Her coat was a majestic white that seemed ghostly in appearance, and her blonde mane was pulled back into a ponytail which was curled ever so beautifully. Looking secretly further down her body, her cutie mark was an ivy vine curling up in a twisted manner. She was a gardner before this as Rune understood, so it seemed to fit her. Her tail was in the same curled manner, but was longer and seemed to have found its way across his lower back. Compared to him, Rune was nothing more than a blemish on her perfect features.

Suddenly, a grand presence made himself known by letting loose a loud, but harty laugh. Every pony in the room looked at the large balcony to see the 'father' of their group. The elder known as Dusk Ghostfire. His dark purple body was always covered by a grand black and red cape, so nopony knew exactly what his cutie mark was. His black mane, as elegant and grand as it once was, had now shortened and turned a steely grey colour in apperance. His eyes shone in the same fasion as the rest. A bright orange colour. But his eyes were full of caring, as well as knowledge. All the ponies in the room, aside from Rune, bowed in respect to their elder. As Dusk's eyes scanned the crowd, he spotted Rune standing beside Ivory with a dumbfounded expression upon his face. A smile crept across his face as his booming voice called across the crowd.

"Rune! Always a pleasure to see the fine courier for the family! I trust that Miss Ivory is keeping you well groomed like a good little pet?" The entire room burst into laughter after Dusk's comment. Ivory and Rune stood by, both with a light blush on their cheeks. Ivory flicked her tail in irritation before stomping a hoof on the ground.

"He's not my pet! All of you damn well know that he's just as normal as anypony here! Aside from the occasional feeding I get from him, he's still a part of the family!" Some of the laughter died down after she had said that. Dusk tsk'd before speaking up.

"You do not understand, Ivory. Rune is NOT a member of our family." A smirk slowly crept across his face. "At least not yet anyway. That is why I have brought you all here! Rune, our beloved courier for ten years, is finally among the lines of becoming one of us. When Ivory found him, he had a family. Wealthy to say the least, but so distant. His mother, so tender and loving toward him, was an excellent parental figure. She was also an excellent meal." Some of the others in the crowd chuckled in response. "But as of now, Rune has kept out secret safe. And I offer this chance only once. Rune, you and Ivory please come forward."

After what Dusk had said about his mother, he was hesitant to step up. Ivory squeezed his hoof in reassurance. Rune's face suddenly became warmer from the sudden contact. Feeling a bit braver, and slightly embarrassed, Rune let go of Ivory's hoof and trotted forward. The crowd in front of him parted like hot butter through a cold knife. As he ventured forward, unsupportive glances were cast from other ponies in the room. Some of which were mares who actually cared for the young stallion. As soon as he was in front of the crowd, a strong hoof pushed him down on the ground. Looking back from his downed position, Rune had the unpleasant opportunity to stare at Layre's face, and one pure orang eye.

Layre was larger than most stallions, and him being an earth pony, made him twice as strong. His black coat contrasted with his cyan and white mane. And his one good eye was a solid orange, as it was no different then before he was turned. His cutie mark was that of a shield with cross lightning bolts. Some say he was a royal guard who went rogue. Others tell how he's just an outcast making names for himself.

"Don't trip, welp." Layre calmly said, giving him a snarl. Rune responded with a snort.

"I wouldn't trip if your big, meaty hooves weren't constantly in my way." Layre was about to tell him off when a purple hoof was thrust between their faces. Both looked up to see the calm, yet terryifying face of Dusk.

"Layre, it is not wise to treat out guest with such hostilities. You know better than that." Giving Rune a calm smile, he spoke once again. "Now, Rune, how would you like to become respected? Become not just our courier, but a respected individual?" Rune couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was Dusk actually offering what he thought he was? Ivory had wedged her way through the crowd and listened intently. She wasn't about to lose her toy. It was like taking away a foals favorite rattle because it was too noisy. Feeling emotion take over, she stepped up.

"Dusk, are you sure this is such a good idea? I mean, in a way, Dusk is still a foal a heart!" She pulled him away from the elder and hugged him around his neck. "He still needs time to adjust to our way of life! He still needs me to read him to sleep! Like, just the other day, he even asked me to-"

"I'm a stallion now, Ivory. I'm not that little foal you watched for the first years of my life. I knew you were my foalsitter for my mom, but I grew up. I mean, I had a marefriend for a few years." He wedged himself free from her grasp. "Let me make my own decisions, okay? I'd like to be respected here. I'd just for once like to be treated like I belong. I'm not like all of you. But, if Dusk is saying what I think he is, I will be." Ivory visibly saddened at his statement. She backed away before sighing shakily. Rune had no idea what she was so worried about. That was until he felt a strong pain come from his neck. Having nothing to say after that, Rune let out a silent scream of pain as Dusk  bit harder on his neck. Ivory watched in horror as Dusk's coat went from its normal light grey, to almost a black colour. His white and red mane stayed the same, but his eyes stared to change. No longer the pure red, but slowly shifted from red, to grey, to a brilliant orange.

Dusk released his clamp on Rune's neck, effectively dropping him to the floor on a dark grey heap of fur, and a small trickle of blood. Ivory, Dusk and Layre watched as Rune's breathing was a fast pant, then slowed down to normal pace. Ivory was the first to step up and layed next to Rune's side. She had been through the same thing, but never thought she'd have to see any pony she cared about go through so much pain. Dusk stood triumphantly as Rune began to stir.

"Welcome, Rune... to your new life. I'm sure that you'll fit in quite nicely."

"Don't... call me Rune anymore, Dusk. I'm no longer a keeper of secrets, since I am one now." Ivory cast a worried look at Dusk before he trotted to his other side.

"Oh? And what are we supposed to call you now then? Whelp, as Layre calls you?" Dusk offered a hoof up, but the grey pegasus denied as he rose to his own hooves, using Ivory as balance.

"I saw what I became. A solid black. And my last name means black. Noir. I was one tone of black." He looked at Dusk with newfound power in his eyes.

"Just call me Monochrome."

That was fifty years ago. And longe since then, the ones he had called family had been hunted down, and eliminated. Monochrome quickly became used to his new name, as it seemed to always be a problem for others to remember. Ivory had not gotten used to him being what she was, but soon found him harder to resist. After all the teasing when he was her cattle, she finally opened up to him. She admitted that she had watched him since he was a foal, and wached him grow into a young stallion. That's when she fell for him. In an effort to get close to him, she had chosen him to be her personal cattle. And he was for 10 years, until his 19th birthday. The day he turned. She had a harder time surpressing her urges to get closer to him, until that day. She had sent him to get her a bottle of wine, and still being used to being her courier, he happily obliged. Upon returning, she tackled him to the ground and locked lips with him in a passionate embrace.

That was the last day of him being a courier, and the first day of him being a night-walker. And Ivory's newest play-colt. Then all hell broke loose. The Royal Guard found out where they had resided, and began to eliminate them. Monochrome, running purely on instinct, flew into the sky and took refuge in a large cloud. After a few hours, the sounds of fighting became silent. Peeking from his hiding place, he noticed the guards leaving the castle in formation. Though there were fewer then when they had attacked. Deciding he was safe, he flew back down and entered his home. Only to find a blood-bath. Friends, family, Dusk, guards, and even Ivory lay on the ground. Wandering through the now silent halls, he peeked into rooms only to find similar scenes. Some more gruesome than others. Attempting to hold down down his food, he proceeded to exit to the main room of the castle, where Ivory's body lie.

He could handle death, as he's seen the inhaitants drain their cattle. But seeing her on the ground, motionless and no longer herself, reminded him that he wasn't invincible. And neither were they. Walking closer to Ivory, he gently closed her eyes with a hoof. Tears welled up in his eyes as he layed down next to her and rested his head on her chest. No longer would he be able to feel her hold him, to hear her tell that she loved him. Once again in his life, he was alone. And somehow, it felt normal. Looking at Ivory's face through tear filled eyes, he muttered three words before getting up, and leaving his home.

"I love you."