Early Retirement

by CancerousGingerScorpio

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Original Character
Length: 2942

Unknown to the unfamiliar terrain, he must find a way to survive in this new environment.

Kravchenko was pummeling Mason, almost to the point of death. So Woods did what any other soldier would do; he pulled out his S.O.G. knife and stabbed Kravchenko in the upper back. Kravchenko pulled the pins on his grenade belt. Woods dove and tackled him through the bullet proof glass. He tried to pull of the Russian's grenade belt, successfully pulling it off and throwing it behind a wall. He was about to hit the floor when he blacked out from some unknown reason. He woke up, and realized he might be in the afterlife. That is of course, until he gets rammed head on by a berserk horse, charging at full speed.

Published 2013-04-30 19:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-05 00:52:29 UTC

Rough landings equal rougher recoveries

      Woods threw Kravchenko's grenade belt under the ramp, using it as a grenade sump. While he was getting ready for the impact of solid concrete to his head, he felt everything go dark.

"What the h€||?" He said to himself.

He then felt what seemed to be sand underneath him, and he opened his eyes, seeing the incoming horse that rammed into him head on in the gut, breaking a few bones and causing him to lose his breath. The horse suddenly stopped galloping, and only then was Woods able to hear the sound of automatic rifles.

"*gasps*....oh......sh*gasps*" He tried to say. He suddenly was levitated off the ground by some gray aurora that surrounded him.

"Let......go!" He said, still gasping for air. He tried to thrash around, but hitting concrete and getting rammed head on had critically injured him. As soon as he lifted an arm, he immediately felt a sharp pain in his chest.

"Gaaahhh!" He yelled. He tried to look at what was holding him besides the gray aurora, but found that his neck was unable to move. He tried again and again but to no avail. He then remembered that he was in a war zone, after the gray aurora around him faltered and he heard a gasp of pain. He fell to the ground, it didn't hurt though, he was just a couple inches away. He then heard a feminine voice, and thought to himself; "What the f***? I thought that it was just men in the Army?" He was awakened from his questions when a 7.62 caliber round hit the sand next to him. He was no longer gasping for air, and tried to reach for his Colt Python, but found it still painful to move.

   That was when he saw a gray figure at the edge of his vision he shifted his eyes to look at the figure, and found that it was a horse, with a sort of bone growth coming out of its head, and a pair of wings on its sides. The horse, much to Woods' surprise, started to talk to him.

"Hey....can I borrow....your Python?" It said speaking perfect English, with a hint of an Arabian accent.

"What the f***!" Woods said, trying to move away from this spawn of Satan. The horse instead ignored the comment and took his revolver anyways. The horse was able to down the horse soldiers after them, leaving the youngest and most vulnerable looking one alive for interrogation.

"Here, have your pistol back." She said, tossing it to the stunned Woods, who still wasn't able to move without feeling pain. He tried standing up, and felt immense pain surge through his legs, but not stopping him from standing upright. He watched as the gray mare walk over to the young stallion who was trying to crawl back to a safe and cozy home. She smashed a hoof into the young stallion's right foreleg, where the bullet wound was. The stallion screamed bloody murder, almost to the point of making himself woozy.

"What...What do you want f-from me!?" The stallion stuttered.

The gray mare looked at him and said, "Where is he?"

Woods was done acting shocked and said, "What the h*** is going here?" The gray mare looked up at him, not letting go of the stallion.

"Well, you obviously aren't from here, hairless ape." She said.

"The name's Woods." He said. If this horse can use a gun, I don't think it would hesitate to shoot me, he said to himself.

The gray mare looked down at the stallion, getting Woods' Python with her magic, and said, "Heads or tails."

"Heads."

The bullet went right through the stallion's skull, that sounded with a nasty crack as the bullet penetrated it. Woods saw the pink brain matter fly out of it's head, along with chunks of its skull.

"Let's go, I still have important business to do." The gray mare said, calmly walking away from the bodies.

"Still haven't told me your name, talking horse." He said to the gray mare.

"First off, I am an alicorn. Second, I am a pony, not a horse," she said, "But my name is Deadshot, Dusk Deadshot."

"So, where the h*** am I?" He asked her.

"Well you're not in Germaney, you're  not in Stalliongrad, you're not in Amareica, but you are here in Saddle Arabia."

Woods corrected her, "Last I checked, it was Saudi Arabia, not Saddle Arabia." The gray mare looked at him funny, and just shrugged.

"Well, you're not from here, so then everything would be different," she said, "By the way, your wounds seem rather serious. Let me see if I still have that first aid kit." She dug around in her pocket. That was when Woods noted that he felt rather light-headed, and fell to the ground just barely conscious.

3 hours later

Woods opened his eyes, seeing the ceiling of a traditional Saudi Arabian house. He looked to the side and saw Deadshot leaning against a balcony. He looked around the rest of the room, noticing a small armory and a small cooler with what appeared to be whiskey and booze. He tried to get up silently, but his chest was throbbing with pain, and he couldn't move without feeling pain.

"Ah, you're awake." The gray mare said walking over to him. She levitated what appeared to be a herbal tea with a cup of sugar towards him. Woods took a sip of the tea, immediately feeling the pain go, and being replaced by pleasure.

"What's in this stuff." He asked Deadshot.

"Just some pain reliving herbs I got from a healer." She said. Woods just shrugged, and went back to his tea. When he finished the tea, she got down to business.

"Alright, so I got a few questions for you, Woods." She said.

"Ask away." He replied.

She was surprised that there wasn't any resistance of any kind, but she had questions to ask, and she would ask them.

"So, what is your line of work?" She asked him, observing his BDU and all the other stuff that came with him.

"Search and Observations Group." He said

"Rank?"

"Master Sargent."

She smiled a little, knowing that a he wasn't a weak rookie or a general who didn't now what war was like. He was a seasoned veteran. She then realized that Woods' wounds were still there, and suggested he get more sleep.

"Yeah, yeah okay mom." He said sarcastically. She looked at him as if he was insane in the brain. She just shrugged it off and went back to the balcony. Woods just stared up at the ceiling, and soon fell asleep.

When Bullets Start to fly, You Better Duck

Woods had dreamt for the first time in years. He dreamed about his life back on Earth, and all the political crap that was happening. He stirred a little, hearing a weak crack as he watched the politicians bicker. Wait, a weak crack? He immediately sprung from the bed, dolphin diving to the nearest wall. He then heard the crack again, and looked around the corner, and saw Deadshot standing at the balcony cracking what appeared to be bones.

"Oh thank god it's just you breaking...bones, I assume?" He said, sighing in relief.

"Yea, I just have a habit of breaking rat skulls. Did it ever since my father taught me to use an AK-12. Good times, good times..." She replied starring mindlessly into space, still cracking the skulls. She eventually came back to, whatever this planet was called, and trotted over to her mini armory.

"Well then I should ask you; want invade a military base?"

Woods considered the question. So Deadshot was apparently a terrorist of some sorts, but the alicorn had taken him in, and didn't question where he came from. Yet the ponies at the military base would most likely try to get information from him, maybe even try to run tests on him. He did not like being studied by a bunch of brain-buckets.

"Sure, why not? Just, what should i prepare for, because I've never heard of anything called the 'AK-12'?" He said as an answer.

Deadshot looked at him curiously, wondering if his world had not advanced further into technology the way theirs had.

"Well, it's essentially just a modified Kalashnikov 47 with Picatinny rails for optics."

Woods nodded and looked over to her small armory. There were what appeared to be bullpup SVDs, a PTRS-41 anti tank rifle, a bullpup sniper he didn't recognize, a SPAS-12 shotty, something that looked similar to an AR15 carbine, and a heavy machine gun.

"Wow, looks like you've been stocking up for World War 3!" He said. Deadshot looked at him and said, "Oh yeah, I forgot to show you my armory."

She walked towards the mini armory and pulled out the weird looking sniper. "This is my prized sniper," She said, holding it close," My WKW Wilk is loaded with .50 caliber cartridges, meaning i can use as an anti-material or anti-personnel rifle. It leaves a nasty hole."

Woods went to the armory and picked up the carbine. It felt rather smooth, not feeling tough or rigid like his old M16A1 did. He looked over the rifle, now noticing that it had a sort of RD sight, with a reticle that looked a lot like a toxic symbol.

"That's my good ol' M4 carbine. Here, have this to go along with it." Deadshot said, floating him a grenade launcher that Woods had never seen before.

"Whadda you call this?" He said, observing the weapon.

"It's called the XM25 CDTE." She replied. Woods, one to not like to wait al the time, said, " Can we just go now? My trigger finger is getting a bit itchy."

"Of course we will. Just put on this flak jacket and we'll be set." Deadshot replied.

I Just Love EOD Suit Wearing Buffoons with Semi-Auto Grenade Launchers. Don't You?

PUM-PUM-PUM went Woods' XM25. He was having the time of his life at the moment. These ponies and unicorns didn't meet the level of skill it took to take on Woods. He blasted through them, not caring if they were dead or if he stomped their heads. Deadshot was providing covering fire from a nearby guard post, which she had taken with no effort. She centered her reticle on a stallions head-CRACK. His head disconnected at the neck and was gushing blood for a few seconds.

"C'mon! Is that the best you can throw at us? You got anything else for me to kill?" He shouted over the deafening sound of the grenades exploding upon contact. And the soldiers, in fact, had something new to throw at them. An EOD squad, outfitted with Milkor Medium Grenade Launchers and C4. Woods took a shot at the EOD squad. They were still standing.

"What the? Oh ho ho! So ya wanna play with that armor do ya? Well then, good thing those don't have built in gas masks!" He said, pulling the pin on a grenade with tear gas. The EOD squad looked at the grenades, thinking they were just flash bangs, and looked away. That didn't protect them from the gas (obviously). They coughed and choked, all except for one. And that one was running straight towards Woods, firing off his MGL.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The stallion yelled.

Woods jumped over the stallion, and pulled a frag out of his belt and stuck it in a chink of the EOD armor. The stallion stopped charging, and tried to get the grenade out. It was too late however. The grenade went off, severing his legs and leaving a nasty piece of loose flesh hanging off his side. The stallion sat there, looking at the spot where his legs should have been, muttering something in Arabic. Woods pressed on further into the building, encountering more resistance.

"Looks like these guys don't want to give up. I guess that means I need to PUMP UP THE POWER!" Woods said, grabbing a Rocket Propelled Grenade off a dead soldier. He pulled out his XM25, and held both, poining them at the center most thing in the room which was a red mare with blonde hair. The mare tried to scream, but we all know you can't scream when you're gagged, and it came out as a weak moan. Woods hesitated. Should he really pull the trigger and kill this poor horse.

"Screw it, LETS DO THIS!!" He said and pulled the trigger.

KA-BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM.

The red mare was no longer there, and all the combatants near the explosion didn't fare much better. One stallion was missing a forearm, and others were missing other parts of their bodies. Woods walked past them, pulling out his M4 rifle, and kicked down the door to the nearest room. Big mistake. As soon as he kicked the door, three chemical warfare soldiers along with a lone EOD man were behind the door. The chemical warfare soldiers pulled out what appeared to be a sort of poison gas gun, spraying a sickly brown gas into the room. Woods quickly ran to the nearest emergency room, and put on a gas mask. He came out the door, watching as the chemical warfare soldiers and EOD guy searched for him. He ran up to one of the chemical warfare ponies, and punched a large hole into the glass screen of the mask. The unicorn's face turned a mottled shade of brown, then began to turn the sickest and worst colors you could imagine. That's when Woods learned what would happen if the gas killed you.

The mare started to cry out in agony, releasing her digestive organs (literally) all over the room's floor, staining it a sickly shade of red and mottled brown. The other ponies in the area heard the noises, and found Woods. He turned around and grabbed one of the chemical warfare ponies, snapping his neck, and exposing the other to the toxic nerve gas. He looked at the EOD pony, who was standing there, not moving anywhere. The stallion pulled out a sort of gun that looked a lot like a giant wind tunnel, and pointed it directly at Woods. The stallion tapped the fire button.

WHOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHH

Woods was blown back through a wall, effectively knocking the wind out of him. He tried to stand, but found the lack of oxygen made his legs weak. The EOD pony came through the wall and observed Woods.

"This is only thing here to take down this base. Well you did pretty well, I'll give you that, ape." The stallion said, poining a shotgun at Woods, " Any last words?"

Woods looked at him, and said, "Yeah, I do. Ya like walking? 'Cause you're not going to anymore."

BOOM chk chk BOOM

The shells hit the floor, signifying something sad just happened.

The stallion cried out in pain and agony.

"Did I have to save you, Woods?" Deadshot asked.

"No. I was going to do it myself, but then you came along and shot him for me. Thanks." He replied

The stallion looked up at them, yelling at them witha few choice words. He tried to stand up, but with no muscles under his horse knees, he couldn't. He started to crawl towards Woods, holding a short dagger. Woods pulled out his Python and shot the dagger away, and then shot the stallion's foreleg twice. The stallion screamed in rage.

"Lawl, u mad bro?" Asked Deadshot with humor in her voice.

"Look at him! Look at him and laugh!" Woods said pointing at the stallion. They both started to laugh at he stallion. His rage was intense. It literally almost melted the floor. Deadshot stopped laughing and walked up to the stallion, taking of the face mask and helmet. She examined the stallion who was a unicorn.

"We got him Woods!" She said.

America gets Involved

24 HOURS LATER, USS CELESTIAL------

The newly trained private walk on-board the Blackpegasus VTOL helicopter, along with the rest of his squad. The cargo door closed as the ammunition and rifles were placed on-board. He picked up his standard issue CL8-XM rifle and loaded a magazine in. He sat down in one of the seat, and closed his eyes. He knew the trip to Saddle Arabia was going to be long, and possibly bumpy if the terrorists had RPG7-V2s. He was soon overtaken by slumber.

10 DAYS AFTER THE ASSAULT--------

"Woods, that was some damn fine shooting you did back there," Said Deadshot.

Woods nodded slightly, and took a long drink from his flask. The beer he drank was nothing compared to the pony version of the beer. Their beer was much more alcoholic, and gave a severe headache and wooziness. He was lucky he didn't pass out.

Suddenly, a call came in from Deadshot's radio.

"Ma'am, an American helicopter is approaching. Should we fire?"

Deadshot pressed the respond button and said, "You may fire at will"

The sound of an RPG7-V2 being fired was heard, along with the sound of a helicopter crashing.

"It's down."

30 SECONDS BEFORE---------

The private looked at the watch he had on. Five minutes until they reached the target zone. He closed his eyes slightly.

FSHOOP.

PFHOOOMMM

The lights in the cargo bay flashed red, and the private felt the helicopter begin to spin out of control. He grabbed the pole near him to hold on to.

"Mayday, mayday! This is Alpha-Bravo 294, we ar-"

The helicopter hit the ground, forcing the private and everyone to the ground and rendering them unconscious.