Talk To Markiepoo About This One

by Emerald Flight

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Adventure, Random, Dark
Length: 625

I'm not even sure what this is. A draft I found on my computer, signed by Mark? Yeah. Thousands of words long? Yeah. Comprehensible? Uh... I guess, maybe. Welcome to Mark's mind.

I found this on my computer yesterday. I… actually have no idea what compelled Mark to write this. It's all over the place, though, in terms of… everything. I hope this passes inspection.
Mature for language.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-07 00:56:34 UTC

Part Two - 6/5/13

[Note: this was found in the Documents folder, alone, bearing the title 'don't you fucking read this, Dan'. I read it. Bitch.]

   Fluttershy was a fucking wizard grenade. The only problem was that she still had flesh, so it really hurt her to be that grenade. It also hurt her that her husband Twilight was sexing Owlouisious or fuckin' whatever in the corner while she watched. She sighed and fell into the floor, becoming dark matter.

   And that's how Equestria was imploded.

   Anyhoo, Applejack was making out with Rarity to a lesser degree and was covered in honey and baked beans. Speaking of, is that a good combination? Sounds like mint and berries. Just wouldn't go well together.

   Twilight turned around to the sobbing Fluttershy and shouted "Hey. Because the world is round, it makes me high."

   "B-but the world ISN'T round," Fluttershy cried, twisting about madly on the floor like a sexy yellow eel. "It's the shape of Applejack's baked beans."

   Applejack turned around, causing Rarity to fade from existence. "Fuck."

   "Yeah," Twilight and Twilight replied in tandem. "She wasn't, though."

   "To hell with y'all. She totally was."

   "Not according to the Council of the Absolute."

   "Well, to hell with them, too."

   The Council appears, also covered in honey, but with 2 power and 3 toughness amongst the three of them (Aaron's a weak little bastard). "We banned the word 'hell'."

   "Fuck."

   "Bye."

   Twilight left the library that day, unsure of when she would return, if ever. Events there had gotten simply too... Dan, stop fucking reading my journal.

Yes, It's Kind Of A Skyrim Joke

   "I'm gonna poke you in the stomach."

   "Nope."

   "Okay."

   Applejack was there in the library just sitting and maybe making out with Fluttershy but that's okay. But then, the noise of a door bursting open didn't even happen yet and they remained doin' what they were doin' In a very sexy fashion. It was her goddamn fault.

   But then! The door, it-a burst open! And there was a Twilight and a Rarity. "But you are my waifu!" cried the Rarity. "I am apologize you now!"

   "HOLY SHIT NIGGA WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT."

   Rarity was insulted. "Fine I understand a little now. Fluttershy is pretty damn sexy."

   "Yeh."

   Twilight was gone. Probably off to be a goddamn cat and steal the fuckin' show with her fuckin' whiskers. And then she be cumin on them all (cumin is a spice, you fucktards). And then they all sat down and played Magic the Smathering.

   "I am of the Smizzet," Twilight began, putting a card and then a card on the table and one was Ted and the other may have been red. "I am magic and zap-zabing."

   "Bitch."

   "I am the Smelesnya," Fluttershy said, doing her famous imitation of Harold from Harold and Kumar, who weren't around at the moment but might be later idk. "I am the white an' green an' plplplplpl."

   Applejack made out with Fluttershy.

   "Twilight replied," Twilight replied, and sat because she wasn't already. If the military had something to say about it, then spiky vowels.

   *ahem*

   àáâèéêìíîòóôùúû

   TWILIGHT: "I sure do love books!"

   FUCK you.

   Anyways, Fluttershy was Italian and lived in a small two-bedroom hotel with a window but no s'mores and then she went into the garage to have sex with an augur -

   Oh, wait, oh, God, why did I type that.

   And while Twilight was playing Magic: the Smathering all alone, Applejack made out with Rarity. And it was sexy.