Appleloosan

by Star Note

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 20190

A normal day in the life of a Scottish brony. Well, as normal as it'll ever get nowadays...

IMPORTANT: Since this story recently became canon to the group, I'd just like to take this opportunity to say: Anything before Chapter 7 is a semi-canon mess and will undergo extensive rewrites once this is complete. If I can be bothered.

Okay, let's get one thing straight: I'm no hero. To be honest, I'd rather sit on my arse all day doing nothing, and wait for this whole pony thing to blow over so we can get back to our normal lives. I'm not a hero, I never have been.

So why am I going on a dangerous - and unnecessary - trip across the world to help some people I don't even know save a world I barely care about from a being of chaos we couldn't possibly fight?

And why am I enjoying it so much?

Part of SkyblazeTheBard's PonyEarthVerse

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-09 23:38:55 UTC

01 - An Average Day

Good morning world! Oh, what a wonderful day! Sun is shining, birds are singing, and I'm still human! Oh, joy of joys!

Yes, you read that right. Still human. It's a long story. Well, stories. It's hard to explain, but I'll try my best.

So, basically, people are becoming ponies. No, no, don't leave! Trust me, this isn't a lie. This is all true. I can't prove it just now, but trust me. It's all true. Anyway, these people would just wake up, and find themselves as characters from the show. Or OCs. The OCs don’t show up on the news as often, though.

But, of course, I wouldn't be writing this story if I stayed human the entire time, would I? That would be boring. So, of course, the 'still human' part doesn't apply to me at this moment. But, I shall start at the beginning, back when I was still human. So, take two...

<< REW <<

Good morning world! Oh, what a wonderful day! Sun is shining, birds are singing, and I'm still human! Oh, joy of joys!

I rolled off my bed onto the floor. Ow. That wasn't very smart. Slowly, I lifted myself off the floor. Okay, quick check. Hands, yes. Fingers, ooh, lots of fingers. Legs! Still got legs. Excellent.

I swung open the wardrobe and began browsing through the small selection of clothing I had. Hmm, how about this plain simple t-shirt? Nah. This weird thing that I don’t even know why I keep? Eh, why the buck not. I pulled the plain brown leather vest thing off its hanger, remembering why I had such a thing in the first place. It was part of a costume for a school play, I was ‘Generic Background Cowboy #5’. Yeah, I didn’t really have much of a role in the story, but I got to keep the costume, for some reason.

Wait... there was a hat too. Lemme just... Aha! I took the hat out of the wardrobe and flipped it onto my head. Fabulous. Add an old, worn pair of jeans and voila. Instant cowboy.

I walked down the stairs... well, more like tumbled. Stupid legs.

Stepping into the bathroom, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Whoa. I look... well, like a cowboy. Once I had finished going about the morning routine, I stepped back out and into the kitchen.

I looked around the rather small kitchen. Hmm... what should I have today? ...apples. I want apples. Ineed apples.

Scrambling around in the fruit bowl, I pulled out a suitably red and juicy apple.

...wait, what? I hate apples! Apples are rubbish! Why would I even think of eating this? Throwing it back into the bowl, I searched the cupboards for other options. Nothing that caught my eye.

I looked back over to the fruit bowl. Eh, guess I could do worse... I picked out the same ripe, red apple and looked over it. How bad could it be? Shrugging, I bit into it.

...sweet Celestia this is the greatest thing I've ever eaten why haven't I tried this before oh wait I have and I hated it what is going on here. I’d practically died of joy biting into a stupid apple. I hated apples. Why did I suddenly love them?

Eventually, I recovered from the unexpected deliciousness and looked down at the apple. How the hell was such a small bite so... powerful? Shaking my head, I threw the apple into the bin. No way I was going through that again...

I walked back out and into the living room. I glanced at the clock. 7AM? Huh. Well, guess it’s good that I’m up this early, at least now I’m back into a more normal sleeping schedule. Today was the last day of the holidays, and I’d have to go back to school the next day. I sighed and flopped onto the couch and turned the TV on. What shall I watch today?

...Doctor Who. The answer is always Doctor Who.

I browsed through the menu until I found a good classic series story and hit play. Ah, that cheesy 80’s CGI...

>> FFW >>

I blinked, looking around. Was that really it? Four episodes already? I got up from the sofa. Huh. Feeling a little dizzy. Well, I did just sit through two hours of Ace being a badass, the Doctor being a badass, and the Daleks killing people. An awful lot of killing, actually. What a shame. Why couldn’t they just be friends?

I stopped in my tracks, blinking. What the smeg was all that about? Did I seriously just think that? Perhaps I should stop with all this pony. It’s hurting my ideas.

I made my way back upstairs to my room. My parents had woken while I was sitting on my fla- arse watching Doctor Who, and my sisters were still lazing about in bed. I almost never got up before them. I hadn’t questioned it before, since I had been thinking about other things. Why did I get up so early? And why was I so happy about it?

The sound of the door slamming open interrupted my train of thought. My sister burst through screaming.

“What are you doing?” I said, turning to face her.

“Screaming,” she said, looking me over. “What are you wearing?”

“I... don’t know,” I said, taking the hat off. Why did I still have this stupid thing on?

“Hahah, you look like Braeburn!”

“I... guess I do. Well done,” I said. “Now, what do you want?”

She stood completely still, blinked, then walked back out. Okay, then. That was... something. But now, I had stuff to do. To the internet!

Right, let’s check EQD... apparently, the Mane 6 are further in their quest to New York. And more ponies on the news. Let’s see... Pinkie accidentally an IHOP, Time Turner accidentally the space/time continuum, and an OC accidentally his wings.

Wait... that looks familiar. The image was very blurry, but I could barely make out the area surrounding. A street in a city center. My city’s centre. There’s a pony, right here in Perth?

Wait... is he... he looks like... nah, I’m probably just being paranoid. I mean, it’s not like anyone else would turn into my OC, right? ...right?

Shaking the thought out of my head, I opened up my IRC client. Let’s check up on my bros over on PonyChat, shall we?

== Ambureon has joined #home

* Amber waves! Hallo!

* Ambureon waves.

How are you?

I’m good. Feeling a lot more friendly.

That is good.

Must... hug... everyone...

* Ambureon hugs EVERYONE. Yes, even you at the back.

It is nice to see you being so friendly. You usually just sit there and say nothing.

* Ambureon smiles.

After that, the room dissolved into a cuddlefest, and I reverted back to my usual, awkward self. Not really worth putting more of it here. Eventually, I just gave up trying to get back into the conversation and disconnected.

Bored, I decided to laze about on my bed. Well, I tried, but I found myself with an unbeatable urge to get up and run around outside. Of course, I did no such thing, instead choosing to go downstairs and play some videogames.

Hmm... what to play? Metroid. That’s always fun. I put the disc in, and sat on the sofa, controller in hand. I decided to start afresh, since, on my other save, the Omega Pirate was being a dick and refusing to die.

Upon entering the Frigate, I saw many Space Pirates lying wounded, but still conscious enough to aim and fire. I was encouraged to kill them, but for some reason avoided them, letting myself take damage and leaving them unharmed. I ended up dying to the first boss because I couldn’t get ‘in the zone’ or whatever. Oh, well.

I decided to stop playing at that point, for some reason I felt like I wasn’t really in the mood for space adventures. I felt more inclined to roam the old West, so, I switched out the disc for Red Dead Redemption. It felt a lot more natural to be in the setting of dusty free roaming adventures... riding a horse... wait...

>> FFW >>

“Alberto! It’s time for lunch!”

I blinked, looking away from the screen and towards the source of the shouting. Okay, then. I paused the game, set the controller down, and made my way into the kitchen.

“So, what’s for lunch today?” I asked.

“Steak,” my mum answered, still busy preparing stuff.

Steak? My stomach lurched at the thought. What the hell? I usually loved steak. Why do I suddenly hate it? What is going on?

“Hello? Is there anyone still in there?” my mum said, suddenly right in front of me. Guess I must have spaced out or something. “Could I get past, maybe?”

        I awkwardly shifted to the side and let my mum walk past carrying the plates. I followed her into the living room and sat down at the table.

“What up?” my sister said, almost crashing through the door and flopping onto her chair. She was always so random, even more so after I introduced her to MLP. Pinkie was like some sort of role model to her or something.

“The sky,” I replied, completely deadpan.

My other sister skipped in, smiling. She jumped into the seat she always takes. Always. No exceptions. Her seat. ALWAYS.

Eventually my dad arrived too, and the nomming could begin. Except no, because I really didn’t want to eat for some reason. I mean, I ate the salad just fine, but the steak? Did not want it. How odd.

“Alberto, eat,” my mum said.

“I want to... but...” I poked the steak with my fork. “I just... can’t.”

“You ate the salad well enough,” my dad said. “Oh dear god, are you turning vegetarian? I cannot believe it.”

“No, I just...”

“If you want to be a vegetarian, that’s fine, honey,” my mum said.

“It’s not natural, Nikki!” my dad shouts. “First that pony stuff, and now this!”

My mum glared at him. “Corrado, I swear, if you don’t shut up right now, I’ll walk straight out that door, and I’ll take the kids with me.”

“You’re threatening to leave? Great! Just great! I won’t have to deal with your nagging all th-”

“Stahp it! Please!” I shouted, on the verge of tears, knowing that this was my fault. “Why cain’t ya just get along? Is this really so ‘portant to ya?”

Everyone stopped. There was no talking, no eating, nothing. For a good minute, everything was quiet. Then I got up, took my plate and cutlery, walked into the kitchen and dumped them in the sink. I walked back up the stairs and into my room, closing the door behind me.

If I had known what would happen to me the next day, I would have avoided the bed at all costs. But, silly me, I lay on my bed and cried. I cried until I... well, I don’t remember. One moment I was crying, the next moment... nothing.

I sometimes heard voices, drifting in and out, but other than that, nothing to remind me that there had ever been anything other than the black void in which I floated at that moment.

And that was that. End of the first day. If only I’d known what was to come...

02 - Nope, Nothing Wrong Here At All

Beeep. Beeep. Beeep. Beeep. Beeep. Beeep.

I lifted my head off the pillow, glancing at the beeping device currently attempting to pull me from my slumber. Had I slept all that time? From lunch yesterday, to today. What was today, anyway? According to my alarm clock, it was 6:00AM, and the day was... THO. Whatever THO stood for. I flopped back onto my pillow, blindly reaching out toward my alarm clock, fumbling around for the button. And I ended up knocking it to the floor and smashing it to pieces. Whoops.

I looked back up. It was still barely light outside, typical Scottish autumn. And this was the first day back to school after two weeks of holiday. And I was not looking forward to it.

I rolled over in my bed, feeling my hair against my shoulders. Wait, what? My hair’s long, but it’s not that long...

I looked over the edge of the bed at the pieces of my alarm clock and was reminded of why I had to wake up this early in the first place. I groaned in complaint. Wait... what the hell was that? I groaned again. There it was again! Someone else was in my room!

“Who’s th... there...” the voice said. My voice said. My voice. What happened to my voice? It was... wrong. It was alien to me. My voice. The one I had had my entire life, and suddenly it’s gone, replaced by this stupid voice.

“Hello. Hello! Hello~,” I tested my new voice out. Wait... “Hey there!”

...fuck.

I lifted a hand to my face. Flat, hard, nothing past the wrist. My hand was gone, replaced by this alien appendage. A hoof. A light-gold hoof. My light-gold hoof.

I reached my arm out from under the cover. Oh god oh god oh god oh god...

I threw the covers off with my strange new limbs. My feet were in the same situation, looking as if they’d just been cut off and replaced with some strange, hard substance. My legs were bent backwards, contorted into a more animalistic form. A muzzle protruded from my face, taking up about a third of my vision. And my whole body was covered in light-golden fur.

Well. This is perfectly normal.

I rolled over the edge of my bed, crashing down onto the floor. It felt strange. The whole room looked strange. I was smaller than I used to be. Not too small, but much smaller compared to the day before. I slowly lifted myself off the floor. And immediately flopped back down again. This is harder than I thought...

I wriggled over to the wall and tried using that as support. Slowly and steadily, I managed a semi-stable stance. Okay, I’m up! ...nope.

I sighed. Gonna have to learn how to stand, how to walk, how to everything.

After about five minutes of falling over, I finally stood up. I shuffled away from the wall, keeping my balance. I was standing! I was actually standing!

...I was standing. This was now an achievement. Huzzah.

And now that I had mastered the art of standing up, I began to think about just what I was going to do.

Loading file...

A://ohlookimapony.exe...

Running...

You wake up in your room. It is a small, simple room, with not much other than a bed, a chair, and a desk with a laptop sitting on top of it. You are also a pony. You distinctly remember being human the day before.

What do you do?

>Check gender

Alright, then. You look down between your legs. Wait... where... oh, no... wait, there it is. Still male. What did you expect?

What do you do?

>Contemplate the philosophical implications of your current situation

Wait... Oh god. This was... I... I died. I was dead. Since ‘I’ am not alive any more, I am dead. The me that had existed on this planet for fourteen years was no longer in existence. I had died last night. And I was now a pony. I died, and then I was a pony.

...Argh, my brain.

Note to self: Don’t try to philosophy ever again.

>Check for more news on the ponypocalypse.

First I’m gonna have to learn how to walk, aren’t I? I mean, it’s all the way over there... wait... idea!

I flopped onto the ground and dragged myself over to my desk. What? It works!

I lifted myself up onto my seat, reaching towards the on switch of my trusty laptop. And now I just wait for the damn thing to boot up... Here we are! Now I just type in my password... damn it. Big hoof, tiny keys, big hoof, tiny keys...

I tried pressing only one key at a time, using the tip of my hoof. Huzzah! It works! I’m in!

...I logged into my computer. Once again, this is now an achievement. Fantastic.

Pushing the mouse across the desk, I hovered the cursor over the Chrome icon. Just a little click... aha! I am on the internet! Now, let’s see, Equestria Daily... Oh. Wow. There’s an official anti-pony association, Fluttershy got shot, Twilight’s in a coma, and both the Elements of Laughter and Kindness have appeared. I really should check up here more often. Also, THO stands for Thorsday, apparently.

I browsed around the net a little bit, before I had an idea. Any members of the Apple Family? Anywhere? No... wait, here! Something about Big Mac! ...and, of course, he’s all the way over in America.

Wait... in America... Lauren Faust said that all the Element bearers should gather in New York. That means... that means, everypony will be going to New York! Everypony will think, ‘Well, if all the Elements have to go there, I might as well go there too’! And thus, all ponies have to go to New York! Because, where else is there to go? I have to go to New York! I’m going to New York!

...I’m going to New York. I am going. To New York.

And it was at that moment that my mum decided to walk in.

“Good morning!” she said cheerfully, looking towards the bed.

I swivelled the chair around. “Does it look lahk a good mornin’?”

She stood there, in silence, for a good minute or two. Several times, she opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again a few moments later, shaking her head. Eventually, she spoke. “Hello,” was all she said.

“Hey there. Ah’m Braeburn. Nahce ta meet ya.”

Once again, back to the awkward silence.

“I see you’re still wearing that... thing,” she said.

“Yeah, Ah am. Must’a fallen ‘sleep with it on,” I said, slipping off the chair and back onto the ground, managing to keep a stable stance. I focused on how the ponies walk. Front right, back left, front left, back right. Repeat. Running this over in my head, I took a few cautious steps. It works! I’m walking!

My mum just stared as I walked across the room. “You are a pony. My son is a pony. Oh, just wait until your father hears about this. This can’t possibly end well...”

“It’ll be fahn,” I said. “He’ll help, won’t he? Ah can’t git to New York all on mah own.”

“New York? New York?” my mum said. “What do you need to go there for?”

“Lauren Faust said that we all have ta go,” I said. Yes, it’s technically a lie, but who cares? I don’t have to explain everything to her, do I?

“And who is this Lauren Faust?” my mum asked.

“Oh, ya know, creator of the show, and also goddess of the sun. No big deal.”

“Alright, then,” she said, walking out and closing the door behind her.

I walked back over to the chair and hopped onto it, swivelling it back round to face the laptop. I should probably announce what happened, perhaps there’s someone else nearby in the same situation that could travel with us? The only question is, how do I make the announcement? ...a video! That’s it!

I set up my webcam and pressed record, ducking down and hiding from the camera’s view. I waited a few seconds. Then...

“Hey there!” I jumped back into the shot. “Okay, finally gonna use this channel for something other than commenting. Ahem. Hello! As ya can see, Ah have turned inta Braeburn. And Ah need yer help. If there’s anypony else tha’s found themselves in a similar situation, and is in or around Perth, Scotland, comment on this video with a time and location for us ta meet up. We’re gonna need all the help we can get. Thanks in advance.”

With a tap of the spacebar, the video stopped recording. I browsed over to YouTube and uploaded the video. And I posted it to my Facebook for good measure. Who knows, perhaps one of my friends is like this too?

I leaned back in the chair. Now, I just wait...

...this is boring. I wonder if my sisters have woken up yet?

I stepped off the chair and walked towards the door. Luckily, my mum hadn’t closed it completely, so it was a simple matter of reaching a hoof through and pulling it open. I walked out into the hallway and toward my sisters’ room’s door. I knocked a hoof on the door.

And, of course, it was my youngest sister that opened the door. She’s only 8 years old. And there is a pony in front of her. Think fast, think fast!

“A pony!” she shouted, practically falling over towards me and hugging me so tight I couldn’t breathe. Too slow, Braeburn.

“Uh, hey there!” I said, trying to keep in-character. I didn’t want to tell her who I was. She didn’t need to know who I was. “Um... could ya let me go? Ah can’t breathe...”

She loosened her grip a little bit, but still holding on pretty tight. My other sister appeared behind her.

“Um, hi. D’ya think ya could maybe git her off me? Thanks,” I said to her.

In response, she fell over backwards, out like a light. Brilliant.

“Ah’m serious. Please let go,” I said, trying to wriggle free.

“No. You’re my little pony,” my sister said. “Forever.”

I sighed. Big mistake. I had just let out what little air I still had. I forcibly pushed her off me, sending her tumbling backwards.

“No, Ah’m not,” I said, walking out. And straight into my dad. I looked up. Welp. No use lying to him. “Um... hi, dad.”

There were many reactions I’d expected at that moment, and I was prepared for all of them, all the way from attempting to kill me to running away screaming. I was prepared for every possible outcome. Except one.

He crouched down, looking into my eyes. He slowly lifted his arms and wrapped them tight around me. Definitely not what I was expecting.

I blinked. He was hugging me. The man that wanted to destroy everything pony-related was hugging me. Well, what did I expect? He was my dad.

I smiled, leaning into the hug. This was nice. Unexpected, but nice.

After a few moments, he let go and stood back up. “I should’ve guessed. After the way you dressed yesterday, and the accent... I should’ve known this would happen.”

“So,” I said, looking up at him. “Ah need ta git to New York.”

“You what.”

“Ah need ta git to New York ‘cause Celestia said so.”

“Okay, give me a minute to process this. My son is a pony, and wants to go to New York.”

“Not wants,” I corrected him. “Needs.”

“Alright. My son needs to go to New York, because a magical talking winged unicorn said so.”

“Yes!”

“No.”

“But-”

“No!” he shouted. “I’m not taking you to New York! If I take you, your sisters will want to go too. And then I’ll end up taking the whole family.”

“So...” I said. “Ye’re not gonna take me?”

He glared at me in response.

“Excellent,” I said, smiling and walking back into my room. “Ah’ll go pack mah bags.”

“But-” my dad started to say, but he was cut off by the sound of the door slamming behind me.

Alright, what do I need? I’ll need... Well, my laptop, of course. I shut it down and unplugged it, throwing it onto the chair. I’ll need my phone, too. Onto the pile it goes. And something to keep me warm. And food for the journey. And a bag to hold it all in...

Okay, so, clothes I already had. But I needed something on top of that, since it was autumn, and a Scottish one at that. I grabbed a hoodie from my wardrobe and threw it onto the pile.

A bag. Simple, my rucksack. Since there was no way in Tartarus I’d go to school like this, I might as well just use that. I tipped out the contents of the bag. Old homework, notebooks, all my school stuff, spilled out onto the floor.

Food. Now, that was tricky, since I couldn’t exactly go to the kitchen and take it from the fridge. That would be stealing. Since it wasn’t exactly my house any more, was it? I could buy my own food, if I had any money in the first place. Wait... surely my parents wouldn’t mind lending me a bit of money, would they?

I walked over to the door, grabbing the handle in my mouth and twisting it open. I trotted along the hallway, when I was met with my biggest challenge yet. My one weakness even when I was still human.

Stairs.

Maybe I could... no... perhaps... no... aha! I can just... fall flat on my face and crash down the stairs. That works too.

I lifted myself back up off the floor and walked into the kitchen.

“Um, hello?” I said, looking around.

My mum peeked out from the closet which housed her office. “Yes?”

“Uh... Ah need to git to New York.”

“You already told me that.”

“Yeah, but...” I said. “Dad’s not gonna take me. And Ah need ta go there. So Ah’ll have ta go on mah own. And Ah’ll need supplies fer the trip. Things like food and water and stuff.”

“Well, the fridge is right there,” she said.

“But Ah can’t! Not only is it not mah house any more, Ah’m not even sure what Ah can or can’t eat any more. It’d be better ta have money than a bag full’a food Ah can’t eat.”

She nodded. “How much do you need?”

“Ah think ‘bout fifty pounds should do it.”

She reached into her handbag, pulling out her wallet. She took out five twenty-pound notes and stuck them out towards me.

“B-but this...” I blinked, taking the money. “A hundred pounds?”

“Yes. Don’t tell your father.”

I nodded and ran back out. Now, then. How am I going to get back up the stairs? It’s not like I can fall up.

I cautiously lifted a hoof, placing it onto the first step. Okay, looking good so far. I pulled myself up slightly, placing my other front hoof on the second step. I repeated the process, lifting myself up, almost dragging myself up the stairs, until I reached the top.

I walked back into my room, and started packing. Laptop, phone, money, headphones, chargers...

Hmm, should I bring a book? Yes. I picked up a book that had been sitting on my bedside table for a while, looking at the cover. A space station, situated in orbit around a star, the title big and bold against the black void of space. Hidden Empire. I smiled, stuffing it into my bag and zipping it shut.

I took my vest thingy off and put the hoodie on, putting the vest back on over it. I picked up my hat, which had been left on the ground by past-me, and flipped it onto my head. I stuck my front hooves through rucksack’s straps, pulling it onto my back.

And with that, I was ready. Ready to face whatever the world would throw at me in my quest to reach New York. Ready to face both adoring fans and hateful enemies. Ready to run, ready to fight.

There was one thing, however, that I was not ready for. Saying goodbye.

I sighed, walking towards my sisters’ room. I stepped inside.

“Hello?” I asked.

My youngest sister immediately shot up in her seat. “Pony!” she shouted, diving towards me. I dodged out of the way, looking around the room. Where was she? Where was my other sister?

I felt something clamping onto my side. Oh, there she is.

I turned my head to face her. “Hello,” I said. Oh, god, no. I can’t do this to them. But... I have to. “You... do ya know who Ah am?”

“Of course!” my youngest sister said, hugging onto my leg. “You’re Braeburn!”

“Yes, but...” I sighed. “Ah’m... ya know about the stuff happening, all ‘round the world?”

“Yeah! Ponies appearing in real life!”

“And... what... how do they appear?”

“They...” she said. “People wake up as them.”

I nodded. “And... where’s yer brother?”

She blinked. “Well... he’s... h-he’s...”

“He’s right here,” my other sister said, hugging me tighter.

“And ya know what Ah have to do, don’t you?” I said. “Ah have to go. And Ah probably won’t come back anytime soon. The fate of the universe ‘pends on it. That means Ah need ya to let go.”

My other sister got the message, releasing me and standing back. My youngest sister, however, didn’t quite understand.

“Ahem...” I said, shaking my leg in an attempt to get her off me. “Ah need ya to let go.”

Reluctantly, she pulled away. I walked out and down the stairs, somehow able to stay upright. My mum and dad were waiting for me downstairs.

“Listen, sweetie,” my mum said. “We know it’ll be hard, and we know it’ll be dangerous. We don’t want you going out there, all by yourself. But there’s nothing we can do to stop you. And if you really need to go, then, that’s okay. Off you go.”

I nodded, walking past them and to the door. I looked back. My sisters had followed me down and were standing alongside my parents.

“Good luck, Braeburn,” my youngest sister said.

I nodded, twisting the handle and opening the door. And I stepped out, closing the door behind me.

03 - New Enemies, New Friends

Clip-cl-OW, clip-cl-OW, clip-cl-OW.

Fantastic. Fan-fucking-tastic. Barely an hour outside, and I had already been attacked by a PAPA gang. Fucking brilliant.

Was getting some food really too much to ask? I had just strolled into the corner shop down the road from my house, and bought some supplies. Some food, some water, just stuff I needed. And then, as I was walking out, I saw them. Hiding in the alleyway.  They glared at me as I walked away, my rucksack heavy with provisions for the trip.

I picked up my pace a little, hoping to run away before anything happened. But I was too busy keeping an eye on them to look where I was going.

They had another guy, just down the street. He tripped me up, sending me flying face-first into the ground. I scrambled back up on all fours, but it was too late. They had surrounded me. I tried running, but they kept blocking me. Out of options, I bucked one out of the way, leaving him lying on the ground.

“You god-damned animal! Get the fuck back here!” he screamed as I ran away, swinging a knife at me and slashing across my hind leg. I stumbled slightly, but caught myself and ran faster, ignoring the pain. For the first time in my life I was truly scared that I wouldn’t survive.

I ran as fast as I could, not thinking about where I was going, only wanting to get as far away from them as possible. I ran until I couldn’t run any more. And then I kept going.

And that’s how I got here. I didn’t know where ‘here’ was, exactly, but at least I made it out alive. Injured and bleeding, yes, but still very much alive.

I took a moment to inspect the wound. A cut, across my hind leg, just below my cutie mark. Not too deep, didn’t do any serious damage. My travel speed might be compromised, but not too badly. Might leave a scar, but who cares. I’ll live.

I tore a strip of cloth from one of the hoodie’s sleeves and wrapped it tight around my leg. There, that should slow the blood flow.

I got back up and continued walking. It still stung slightly, and it made me wince with every step I took, but was nothing I couldn’t brave through. I need to get to New York. The fate of the universe depends on it.

But how? Do I really have enough money to make the trip? Oh god, I didn’t even plan out further than today. The only plan I had was to walk. To the airport. Then what? It’s not like a hundred pounds is enough for a trip to New York. And would there even be any flights that would go all the way across the world from that airport? The best place I could go would be Edinburgh airport, but walking all the way there? And, even if I had enough to pay for a ticket, it would take more than a day to get there. Where would I sleep? Couldn’t get a hotel, then I wouldn’t have enough for the flight. Or would I just keep walking, all through the night?

...no. All I can do just now is walk. No need worrying about the future. I’ll cross those bridges when I come to them.

I had made it into the city center. It was much more crowded than my neighbourhood, with more people to stare at me as I trotted by. I noticed a few cameras flashing as I walked by. Oh, god, I can already hear my news feed screaming in agony as it fails to keep up with the inevitable flood of images.

Speaking of news feed, I wonder if anyone has replied to my video yet? I looked around for a free wi-fi hotspot. There! One of the few free spots in Perth! I sat on a bench and pulled my phone out from my bag. Wait... how the hell am I gonna use a touch screen? Are hooves conductive? Would it even work? I tapped the screen. Success!

Alright, then. Connecting to hotspot... There! I’m in! And now, over to Facebook. Five comments. Four of which were insults from who I suspected to be members of the PAPA. And the last of which was one of my brony friends squeeing over me. Nothing of use.

Let’s check the YouTube version, then. One comment.

Meet me at 13:00 on the High Street. Don’t worry where, I’ll find you. Just make sure you’re outside.

That’s all it said. ‘I’ll find you’? Rather ominous. Oh, well. I closed it and locked my phone. Which proceeded to vibrate very violently. I unlocked it, seeing about thirty notifications on Facebook. All of which were either pictures of me or people hitting on me. Oh, the joys of being Braeburn. I browsed through the settings and turned off the infernal vibration. Why did I even have that on in the first place?

I got up from my seat, stuffing the phone into one of my hoodie’s pockets. Back to walking, then. I took a step, then stopped.

What time is it? I pulled out my phone, looking at the display. 12:00. I still had an hour before they found me. Whatever that meant.

Alright, back to... what’s that smell? Is that... I turned to the direction of the smell. A Bayne’s bakery. I smiled. I was a bit hungry, and, hey, I have a hundred pounds. Just one little thing won't hurt.

I pushed the door open and stepped inside the rather crowded bakery, watching as almost everyone in the store scrambled to get their phones out.

“Hello!” I said, stepping up to the counter. “Could Ah get one’a yer finest apple pies?”

The woman behind the counter hadn’t noticed what I was, for she had her back to me, readjusting some of the displays. “I’m sorry, sir,” she said, turning around, “but I can’t quite understand... you... oh.”

“Is there a problem?” I smiled.

“Oh, n-no, not at all,” she said. “What was it you wanted?”

“An apple pie,” I said once again.

She nodded, going into the back of the store for a moment before returning with a big apple pie. “Here you go, sir,” she said, setting it down on the counter. “That’ll be five pounds.”

I fumbled around in my bag for a second and pulled out a twenty, placing it onto the counter. I tried reaching up to grab the pie, but my hooves slipped on the glass surface. “Uh, could ya please...”

“Oh! Of course,” she said, reaching it down.

I took the edge of the pie tin in my mouth and made my way out the store.

“Um, sir? Your change?”

I set the pie down on the floor, walked back to the counter, pulled my wallet out again and awkwardly held it open. She tipped the change into it. "Thanks," I said, putting the wallet away and picking up the pie.

I walked out the store and sat down on the bench, setting the pie down next to me. Now, then, how do I eat this? ...oh. Right. I grinned. Geronimo!

I slammed my muzzle into the delicious pie. I had never imagined that apple pie would taste so good!

I looked up from the pie. I’m in public. I’m a pony. And I’m eating a pie in the most hilarious way possible. Of course there are ten cameras pointed at me. I gulped down the massive chunk of pie and waved shyly to one of the cameras.

I sat back in the chair. And still they filmed me.

“Uh, could ya stop? Nothin’ ta see here...”

Reluctantly, they lowered their cameras.

“Thanks,” I said, tipping my hat to them. I lowered it over my eyes, and relaxed. It’s been one hell of a day.

“INCOMIIIIIIIING!”

And it was about to get even worse.

I shot up in my seat, my hat slipping off my face. Where had that voice come from? I looked left. I looked right. I looked everywhere.

Except up.

I was slammed down to the ground by something heavy.

“Heheh, sorry about that...”

Make that someone.

I felt the weight roll off my back. Why was he up there in the first place?

“Still getting used to the wings. Woke up like this yesterday.”

Wings? Could he be... I looked up. And saw a turquoise pegasus colt, with a messy green mane, and two pairs of eighth notes as a cutie mark. I recognised him instantly. But that’s impossible!

“Anyway, hi! I was the one that said to meet up here. So... hi!”

“You... you...” I said, unable to do anything but gawp.

“Me?” the impossible pegasus blinked.

“You!” I said, getting up and staring him down. “How... what... you!”

He jumped back. “What do you want?”

“You’re... you’re...”

“You know who I am?” he asked.

“Yes!” I shouted. “You’re Gem Song, the pegasus musician livin’ in Horseshoe Harbor with a seapony in disguise and a neighponese tea farmer and in a relationship with a shy pegasus from a parallel universe where Nightmare Moon was never banished and the night lasted forever!”

All he could do at that point was stare, jaw hanging open. “How can you... they never showed anything like that on the show!”

“That’s because it’s not from the show!” I said. “You... Ah created you!”

“You... what?”

“Ah created you...” I said, taking a deep breath. “Ah originally created Gem Song as a kind’a ponysona. Eventually he evolved into an actual character. But Ah never knew anythin’ like this could happen! How ‘s this even possible! Ah created him, not you!”

“Did you create Braeburn?”

“Ah... what?” I said. “No... Ah didn’t... huh.”

“Exactly.”

A good minute or two of silence.

“Well, Ah guess Ah should get goin’,” I said, walking off.

“Don’t you mean ‘we’?” Gem smiled.

“Sure. Let’s go.”

04 - Idle Conversation

“So...” Gem said, hovering beside me. “Braeburn, huh?”

“Yes. Ah became Braeburn. Can we jus’ git over it?”

“Sorry, I was just...”

“Nah, it’s fine, but... jus’ don’t, ‘kay? Sure, ya can still call me Braeburn, but don’t think Ah am Braeburn. We jus’ share the same name, voice, body...”

It had already been a few hours since we left Perth, and we were almost at the airport. It kinda sucked having to walk all the way to Edinburgh, but it wasn’t so bad when I had somepony to talk to. And, turns out, Gem had a few hundred pounds with him, enough to pay for the flight. How convenient.

“So...” I said, returning some sound to the otherwise dark and quiet roadside. “It’s gettin’ kinda awkward referrin’ ta ya by a name Ah’ve come ta associate with mahself. Who were ya ‘fore all this?”

“My name was Je... Jeremy. Yes, that’s it, Jeremy.”

“Alrighty, then. Onwards, Jeremy!” I giggled, speeding up a little. I could see the lights of Edinburgh off in the distance. It was still quite a way away, but not too far. About fifty miles, we walked. Well, ran sometimes. Damn PAPA.

“And you?” Jeremy asked.

“Ya don’t need ta know,” I said. “Ah mean, it’s not like Braeburn is basically yer name, right? ‘Cause that’s what Gem Song is ta me. Ah was just tryin’ to maintain what little sanity Ah still had.”

Jeremy nodded, then looked off to the distant lights. “Well, it’s just over there. D’you think you can handle another flat-out run?”

“Maybe. Not sure,” I said. “It’s already ten ‘clock at night. Ah think Ah’d be able ta, but Ah’m not sure.”

“Hmm... d’you wanna find out?”

I turned to him, grinning. “Race ya!”

And I took off at full speed.

“Dude! Slow down! I can barely keep up!” Jeremy shouted, flying next to me.

“That’s the idea!” I shouted, accelerating even more.

Making a quick estimate based on how fast the cars were going relative to me, I guessed I was running at about 20 miles per hour.

I saw Jeremy just stop, speeding backwards relative to me. I looked back for a second to see him climbing higher and higher in the air. What is he doing?

I turned my head back around just in time to dodge a road sign. I should probably look where I’m going...

And it was at that moment that I heard a loud whooshing noise and a turquoise blur sped over me. Heheh. You may be a pegasus, Jer, but I’m an earth pony. You’re good in short bursts. You can dive, sure, but what happens when you land?

“Oh god!” Jer screamed.

That happens.

I slowed down, coming to a stop just next to him. “You okay?”

“Does it look like I’m okay?” came the slightly muffled response.

“Well, yeah,” I said, assessing the damage. “All that happened was ya got yer head stuck in the ground. No biggie.”

He struggled for a moment before pulling his head out.

“C’mon, let’s go,” I said, trotting off.

“No more races,” he said, flying next to me.

“Aww, why?” I smirked. “Is it ‘cause ya keep losin’?”

“No, it’s because I don’t want to die.”

“Alrighty then,” I said, quickening my pace.

“Hey!” I heard Jeremy shout. “Not fair! You said no racing!”

“This ain’t a race!” I shouted back. “Ah’m just runnin’! Ye’re the one makin’ it a race!”

“How am I making it a race?”

“‘Cause yer tryin’ ta keep up!” I laughed.

“Of course I’m trying to keep up!” he shouted. “We’re supposed to be travelling together!”

“Doesn’t mean Ah can’t run, does it? C’mon, Ah’m jus’ followin’ the roads. Ya can find me if ya lose sight’a me.”

He sighed, watching me speed off along the road.

>> FFW >>

“Hey Brae? Where-”

“Ah’m... right... here...” I said, panting, laying at the side of the road. “Ah... think tha’s... enough runnin’”

“You don’t say,” he laughed, hovering next to me.

“Could ya... lift me up?”

“...what.”

“Just lift me back onto all fours,” I said. “What did you think I meant?”

“I thought... never mind,” he said, grabbing me and lifting me up, setting me back down on my fe- hooves.

“Thanks,” I said, and I started walking again. It was past midnight at this point, and I was extremely tired, but I had to keep going. It was much further than we’d thought. “So, what’re we gonna do when we get ta the airport? Is it possible to jus’ buy tickets there?”

“I hope so,” Ge-Jeremy said, following behind me. “I don’t know how else we’ll get there.”

“Ya know we don’t really have ta go, right?” I asked. “Ah mean, only the Elements have been called in. We have no reason ta go.”

“But you want to go, right? Because you want to do all you can to help, no matter how small that part may be.”

“Yeah, Ah guess ye’re right,” I said, my cheering up slightly. “Thanks, Gem. Ya always know how ta cheer somepony up.”

“Wait, what did you call me?”

“Ah called you Ge-” I shook my head. “Ah mean Jeremy. Yeah, that’s it.”

“You really need sleep,” Ge-Jeremy laughed.

“And you don’t?”

“Yes, I do, but you need it more,” he explained.

“We both need sleep,” I yawned. “C’mon, let’s find somewhere to stay for the night.”

“Well, we’re in the middle of nowhere, and there’s no hotels around for miles.”

“Ah never said we needed ta stay in a hotel, did Ah?” I grinned. “C’mon, we’re ponies. We can sleep outdoors.”

“B-but what if they find us?”

“Who?” I asked.

“The PAPA!” Geremy answered. “The People Against Ponies Association.”

“Oh, right. Them.”

“And they’ll find us, and... and...” Geremy panicked. “And kill us!”

“That’s highly unlikely,” I said. “They’d prob’ly just keep us alive, just ta torture us. The extremists, that is. And Ah don’t think there’s many’a them ‘round here. At least, Ah hope not.”

“Torture us!?”

“Calm down, Gemeremy.”

“...okay, now it’s just getting ridiculous.”

I sighed, looking around. “This looks like a nice place, Ah think we can stay here and rest fer a bit.”

“Uh, no.”

“Fine,” I said, laying down a ways off from the road. “Ya can go on ahead. Just remember ta say on the roads, so Ah can find ya.”

“But...”

“Do whatever ya want,” I said, curling up with a yawn. “Ah’m stayin’ here.”

Gemeremy stood in silence for a minute before sighing and laying down beside me.

“That’s more like it,” I smiled, pulling him into a hug.

He looked at me, and I could practically hear his brain screaming, ‘WHAT THE HELL.’

He ignored it.

|| PAUSE ||

Hello? Is this gettin’ through?

Wha- who’s there?

Can y’all hear me?

Show yourself!

‘s no use, can’t get through at all. Ah’ll try next time he’s ‘sleep.

What the-

> PLAY >

“Good mornin’,” I said, smiling, my forelegs still wrapped around Gemeremy in a hug.

“Good- WAIT WHAT.”

I laughed, getting up and looking around. The sun had already started rising. I estimated it to be about 4AM.

“So, are we gonna keep heading off?” Gemeremy asked.

“Sure,” I said. “We’ve got ‘bout, Ah dunno, when’s the next flight?”

“...I never checked.”

“D’ya have any internet out here?”

“No, why?”

“Well,” I sighed, “Ah don’t either. And unless we can find some kind’a wi-fi place, we got no internet, and no way of seeing what’s going on.”

“...huh.”

“On an unrelated note,” I said, pulling out my phone and checking the calendar, “happy Wagnesday.”

“What?”

“Today’s Wagnesday,” I explained. “After the week b‘came a year long, y’know?”

“Oh, right. That.”

I laughed, and trotted off, Gemeremy following along behind me.

“Well, we still have another few miles to go,” Gemeremy sighed.

“And?” I said. “‘s not that far. We walked ‘bout forty miles ‘lready.”

“Yeah, but... never mind. We’ll make it.”

“‘course we will! And we’ll buy the tickets, and we’ll be in New York ‘fore ya know it!”

And then what? a little voice at the back of my head nagged.

I ignored it.

>> FFW >>

“So...”

“Before ya ask, Ah was tired, and Ah didn’t know what Ah was doing. Can we please not talk ‘bout this?”

“No, no,” he stammered. “That wasn’t what I was gonna ask.”

“Hmm? What were ya gonna ask, then?”

“Well, since... y’know... you... Braeburn...” he struggled to find the words. After a few moments, the question finally came out. “Are you gay now?”

I stopped, dead in my tracks. What the hell kind of question is that? I... what... I... can’t... “...what.”

“I dunno, man, I was just asking.”

“‘Just askin’’? Well, are you gay now?”

“Wha- why? How? Is Gem gay or something?”

“Is Braeburn gay?”

“Yes, but-”

“No.”

“Yes, he is.”

“Has it ever been confirmed?”

“Has it ever been denied?”

“Just stop, okay?” I resumed walking. “If ya really wanna know, Ah’ll ask him next time Ah get the chance.”

“You can do that?”

“Ah have no idea,” I said, looking toward the lights, which weren’t so distant any more. My estimate? Another couple of hours. Sadly, I was never good at estimating. It was really more of a guess.

And so we kept walking.

>> FFW >>

“Um, Brae?”

“Yes?” I turned to face the pegasus.

“Sorry.”

“‘bout what?”

“About the whole ‘gay’ thing.”

“S’okay.”

“I mean-”

“‘s fine, Gem,” I sighed.

“Brae, you’re-”

“Sorry, Jeremy. There, ya happy?”

“No, Braebu-”

“Okay, what do ya want, the-”

“Braeburn, get off the road!”

A car whipped past the second I turned around, missing me by a few centimeters. I rushed back, stepping back onto the grass. “I really should look where I’m going.”

“Yes,” Gemeremy sighed. “Yes you should.”

>> FFW >>

“I’m filled with wanderlust...” I heard someone singing behind me, barely audible.

I turned around. “Mah dreams are runnin’ circles?”

“I want to wake up-”

“-smilin’~!” I finished the line with him. “Huh. Didn’t know ya were a fan’a Renard.”

“Actually, it’s by The Qui-”

“’s all by the same guy, just under diff’rent names.”

“...huh,” he said. “I’m filled with wanderlust.”

“Mah dreams are runnin’ circles!”

“I want to wake up smiling~!” Gemeremy and I sang together.

“Wait, hold on,” I said, rummaging around in my bag. I pulled out my phone, opened the media player and started my TQBF playlist. The music blared out of the phone’s speaker, with me and Gemeremy singing along. Well, to the ones that had lyrics, anyway.

“Turn off all the lights! My heartbeat fills the night! Pacemaker, keep me steady! Keeping me at the ready! Pacemaker~! Pacemaker~...”

>> FFW >>

“Well, here we are.”

“Huh, wha...” I lifted my head up, blinking the tiredness out of my eyes. I was hovering a few feet above the ground, and I could hear wings flapping above me. And in front of me? Edinburgh Airport.

“I said we’re here,” Gemeremy said, setting me back down onto the ground. I wavered slightly, but quickly steadied myself.

“What happened?”

“You were way too tired, you could barely walk. I decided to carry you here instead of waiting.”

“But... but if Ah was tired, and we both had the same amount‘a sleep... don’t pegasi have less stamina than earth ponies?”

“Yep,” he said, and hovered down onto my back. “Now, if you’ll excuse me...”

His voice faded away as he slumped down, completely motionless and quiet, save for the soft rumble of his snoring.

I walked toward the doors of the airport, carrying the sleeping pegasus on my back. Oh boy, this will certainly be fun to explain.

The doors slid open. I walked in. Gemeremy let out a loud snore.

I sighed, walking to a bench nearby and laying him down on it. I slipped his wallet out from his little rucksack, and pulled out all the money he had. I combined it with my money, and put the wallet back.

Walking up to the counter with the money held in my mouth, feeling all those eyes on me, was certainly one of the stranger moments of my life. But it definitely wasn’t the strangest. And it would only get stranger from this point on...

05 - Wait, What Do Apples Have To Do With This?

“Wake up.”

Gemeremy simply groaned in response.

“Gem. Wake up,” I said, jabbing a hoof in his side once more.

“Why,” was the only response.

“‘cause Ah have the tickets and we need ta go ta the gate ‘less we miss the flight,” I explained. “So get yer lazy flank off that bench and ta the gate, now.”

“No, I mean why are we doing this,” he rolled off the bench, somehow landing perfectly on his hooves.

“Doin’ what?”

“This,” he waved a hoof around. “The plane, going to New York. Why?”

“‘cause...” I started to say, but faltered mid-sentence. There must be a reason I’m doing this, surely. “‘cause...” Come on, man, think! “‘cause Ah wanna help as best Ah can. And Ah can’t really do much if Ah’m over here in the UK while all the action’s over in ‘Merica, right?”

“That... makes sense,” he said, stretching his wings and shaking off the sleepiness. “Hey, um, Brae?”

“Yes?”

“I... saw something,” he said. “When I was asleep. I saw... well, I talked to... Gem. I mean, the actual character, Gem Song. And... we talked... and... stuff...”

“Okay,” I said, turning around and trotting towards the gate.

“That’s it, you just walk away? Aren’t you interested in talking to Gem? I can-”

“Now, why would Ah wanna talk ta mahself?” I asked. “The character Gem Song was based ‘most entirely on me. There’s no real reason fer me ta wanna talk ta him.”

“Oh,” he said, then started hovering along beside me.

“No, don’t fly,” I sighed. “You’re tired, and Ah don’t want ya fallin’ ‘sleep ‘fore we even get ta the gate.”

He landed back on the ground and started walking again.

“Anyway, didn’t ya hurt yer wings just a couple’a days ago?” I asked.

“I got better.”

“Alrighty then,” I nodded.

“Brae?”

“Yes?” I sighed. What does he want this time?

“Gem told me... while I was asleep...” he said, shuffling along awkwardly. “He used to live in Dodge City before he moved to the Harbor. And there was this one colt, who used to visit Dodge. And...”

“Lemme guess,” I smiled. “Appleloosan, yellow coat, brown mane, apple cutie mark?”

“H-how-”

“Just thought that up now,” I laughed. “It’s mah character. Ta him, all’a his backstory is already written out. But fer me, Ah’m still writin’ it. And the future... well, that’s up ta you now. Just try not to die, Ah’d like to still have somepony ta write about once this is all over. Anyway, you were saying?”

“I... don’t really need to say anything now...”

“Alright. It’s mah character, anyway. Ah already know what happened to him, and what Ah had planned fer him before... this.”

Silence fell, the only sound around us being the chatter of all the people waiting in the gate as we stepped in and sat down.

“So...” I said in an attempt to break the silence around us. “Guess that ‘splains what happened last night...”

And still, the silence persisted.

I pulled out my phone. “Ah wonder if they have free wi-fi here...” I muttered, poking at my phone. “Aha! They do!”

“Um, dude...” Gem poked at my side.

“Shush, Ah’m checkin’ Equestria Daily,” I jabbed him back, scrolling through the posts.

“Stop looking at your phone and watch the news report!” Gem turned my head toward a wall-mounted TV. It showed the BBC News channel, as it always did. It was too far away for me to see clearly, but what I could make out chilled me to the bone.

A white alicorn, and a dark blue one. The caption ‘MISSING: LAUREN FAUST AND TARA STRONG’.

I was speechless. I frantically scrolled through the posts my phone, and that was when I saw it. They had disappeared last night. While we were busy.

...cuddling.

I shuddered. Damnit, brain, now is not the time!

“So... well...” Gem stuttered. “Basically... we’re fucked.”

“W-we still have the others, right? Ah mean, Ah heard Cadence exists somewhere out there, we have another alicorn. And the Mane 6, with their elements... We’ll be fine, everythin’ll be fine...”

I felt a finger poking at my side. Not a hoof. A finger.

“U-um, hello?” A quiet voice beside me said.

I turned to face the voice. “Yes?” I asked.

“I-I just wanted to say... um... Braeburn...”

Wow, this guy is Fluttershy in human form. “Ah’m sorry, could ya speak up?”

He blushed in response, shrinking back slightly.

“Okay... um... Ah’ll just-”

“U-um...” he mumbled. Then ran away.

I looked at him as he awkwardly ran away. “Well, that was interestin’.”

Gem laughed. “Dude, I think you have a stalker!”

I glared at him. He shut up instantly.

“Thank you.”

At that moment, my phone vibrated, sending it flying out of my hooves and landing on the floor. I scrambled to pick it up. Okay, quick check, nothing’s broken, good to go!

I checked to see what it wanted. A message on Facebook. I thought I set that to not vibrate? Oh, well. I tapped on the notification. It was a message from one of my friends.

> hey man where you been?

I looked over the message. Had he not seen... I typed out a reply.

Oh, you know, I died and then I was a pony. Did you not see the video? <

No more than two seconds later, I got a reply.

> that was real?! i thought it was some computer shit XD

I laughed, typing out another reply.

It was 100% real, man. I am bestest apple pone now. <> hahah good luck manHmm? Why would I need good luck? <> well, guys tryin to kill you. and all the guys that are gay for braeAnd is there a problem with that? ;) <

He was quiet for a few minutes, and then replied:

> you want to be killed?Hahah, no, I meant... nvm. I have to go, stuff is happening, bye. <> k bye

I locked the phone screen and slumped back in the chair, turning to look at Gemeremy. He was shifting around uncomfortably, his wings twitching.

“What ‘re ya doin’?” I asked.

“Wings... itching... no idea why...” he groaned

“Did ya... um... preen them?”

“What?”

“Preening,” I explained. “Ya know, gettin’ all the dirt out’a ‘em an’ gettin’ all the feathers aligned?”

“Um... no,” he said.

“Well, do it, ya clearly need it,”I said.

“Um... how?”

“Well, I dunno, try... running yer muzzle through ‘em? That should-” I said as he did just that. “N-not here! Not in public, man! Go... do it in the bathroom or somethin’.”

He nodded, trotting off to the bathroom. Immediately, ‘ShyGuy’ took his place.

“H-hi,” he said.

“Hey there!” I smiled. “So, where’re y’all goin’?”

“N-New York...”

“Really? Us too!” I grinned. “Well, o’course we’re goin’ there, since, y’now, Celestia called everypony in...”

And then Gem returned.

“Everythin’ okay?” I asked. “Did ya get ‘em sorted out?”

He nodded.

I wondered where that knowledge had come from. Did they ever show that in the cartoon? Was that some fanon thing? Or...

“I’m surprised Gem didn’t tell me about that,” he said. “I mean, why wouldn’t he tell me about something as important as preening. For that matter, why would you know anything about it?”

“‘cause... Ah have no idea.”

“Oh, well, who cares?” he smiled. “My wings are all sorted out now, and everything’s fine. So, your stalker still stalking?”

I looked around. ShyGuy had decided to hide away one Gem had returned. I gestured for him to come back, and he shuffled on back to me.

“So,” I said. “Gem, this is... what’s yer name?”

“I’m...” his name was lost in a mumble.

“Right. Gem, this is ShyGuy,” I waved a hoof between them. He seemed okay with the nickname I gave him. “ShyGuy, this is Gem.”

“Nice to meet you!” Gem fluttered over to ShyGuy, extending a hoof toward him. ShyGuy took the hoof and shook it.

“Okay, then. Got introductions sorted,” I smiled, leaning back. “So, guess we’re all goin’ the same place.”

“Really? He’s going to New York too?”

“Ayep.”

“Cool!”

I leaned back as Gem and ShyGuy kept chatting away. Everything was going to be fine...

>> FFW >>

“Come on, come on, mooooooove,” Gem groaned impatiently. The queue was at a standstill, right in front of the doors leading out to the planes. “I’m booooored.”

“Stand still an’ shut up,” I commanded. “We’re already talkin’ ponies. And ye’re flyin’. We don’t need ta attract more attention with ya bein’ a whiny, impatient-”

“Okay, okay,” he sighed, landing back down on the floor. “We’ll just stay here, in the queue. The slow, boring-”

“Does every freakin’ pegasus have some stupid need fer speed?”

“Says the colt who damn near killed me challenging me to a race.”

“Oh, ha, ha.”

The line moved along.

Eventually, things happened. We were on our way out, just needed to hoof the tickets over. The lady at the desk gave us slightly menacing looks, but let us through anyway. And so there we were, walking out towards the plane. Well, in Gem’s case, flying out. Cue exasperated sigh.

We climbed up the steps into the plane, taking seats somewhere in the middle of it. Turns out ShyGuy was taking a completely different flight, so it was just me and Gem.

“So, six hours, cramped up in here,” Gem grumbled. “This is the worst possible thing.”

“Ah can think’a worse things...” I said, looking out the window as the world sped by. The plane tilted upwards, and lifted off. I closed my eyes and properly relaxed for the first time in two days. Everything faded away.

>> FFW >>

Everything faded back in. Dreamless sleep. Of course.

I opened my eyes and turned to face Gem.

Oh. What is going on here.

He was blushing. And his wings were splayed out.

“Sorry... it’s just... you... you look so cute when you’re asleep,” he stammered.

“Mm-hmm,” I nodded slowly.

“A-and-”

“How long was Ah out fer?” I asked.

“U-um... about half an hour...”

“Good. Didn’t miss anythin’ ‘portant, then,” I relaxed back into the seat, fully aware of Gem’s eyes still on me. “Um, d’ya mind not starin’?”

He quickly looked away. And then looked back just a few seconds later. Why do I even bother...

>> FFW >>

My eyes snapped open. I didn’t recall going to sleep in the first place.

Nor did I recall being on a train.

I looked out the window. Sand and dust as far as the eye could see, no life at all, except for a town just off in the distance. It appears that was where this train was headed.

And another thing I must not have noticed last time I checked.

I was human.

I’m human! Is it over? Oh, please, is it over?

Wait...

I waved my hand back and forth in front of my face. A trap? A trick? No noticeable motion blur, nor any pixelization. Not some kind of computer simulation, then. I lifted myself off the seat, feeling the softness of the seat, the vibration of the train. Impressive hallucination, then. Unless...

The train stopped violently, and I was thrown to the floor. I got back up and looked out the window again. A dusty frontier town. No-one around. Absolutely nothing but the town. And tumbleweed. Of course.

I made my way to the exit of the train. I paused just in front of the door. I have been changed back into a human, and am on a train in the middle of nowhere. Should I really be blundering out with no regards to what or who I might find?

Wait, what? There’s no-one out there. It’s just an abandoned town. I opened the door and stepped out, looking around the train platform.

I was right. This place was completely and utterly deserte-

“Hey there! Welcome to Aaaaaapleloosa!”

I whipped around, turning to face the voice.

A cute yellow colt grinned under the brim of his stetson hat, his brown mane flowing behind him as he launched himself towards me.

“Is this yer first time visitin’?” he yelled excitedly. “Oh, Ah just gotta give y’all the tour!”

I said nothing. I couldn’t say anything. I was virtually frozen as this stallion circled around me, ranting on about how wonderful the town was.

“Oh, just wait ‘till y’all see the horse-drawn-horse-drawn carriages! And the Mild West dancin’!”

How is this possible? I... this... but...

“And the Salt Block, our saloo-”

“Would you shut up for a minute I am trying to prevent my brain from shattering into a million pieces right now!”

Braeburn stopped, turning to face me. “Oh, sorry, where’re mah manners!” he laughed, extending a hoof toward me. “Howdy, Ah’m-”

“-Braeburn.”

“How do you-”

“Because you’re famous. Also, I am you.”

“You are- Oh! Of course! It’s you! Ah knew you’d be here soon. Ah was tryin’ ta get through last night, but y’all didn’t answer.”

I sighed. “Okay, then. Now, explain to me what’s going in here.”

“Well, ya know how ya became me?”

“I don’t know how, but I know that I somehow became you, yes.”

“Well...” he grimaced. “It’s not just physical.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Here, let me demonstrate. Here’s an apple,” he pulled out a red apple from behind him, “and here’s another apple,” a green one this time. “Now, say this is me,” he shook the red apple around, “an’ this is you,” he waved the green one around. “What we’re doing just now, is we’re talking in your head. Like so,” he held the two apples next to each other, almost touching. “But eventually,” he pushed the two apples together, “me and you,” they started to crack, “will merge.”

At that, the apples cracked and split, shattering and merging into one big pile of apple.

I just stared at the once-apples. No, no, that can’t be true!

“Oh, yes, it’s true, and I have some proof right here,” he sighed.

“Wha’ proof?”

“You aren’t noticing my accent any more,” he explained. “You probably didn’t even notice I used ‘y’all’ or ‘ain’t’ there. Whereas your accent...”

“No, no, this isnae happenin’!”

“And your mind is making it a ridiculously overblown Scoltish accent because that’s all my mind knows.”

“Ai’m no’ e’en Sco’ish! Ai’m Italian!”

“And I didn’t know that. Allow me to fix that.”

“Ma che stai dicen... do... O, yu can’ta bee seereeus!”

Braeburn chuckled. “You asked for it!”

“Stoppeet, nau!”

He broke into a full-on laugh, rolling around on the platform.

“Ai saund laik freekeeng Mario, for god’s seike!”

I slumped on the wall of the station, dejected. This stupid stallion was playing mind games on me! In my mind! It’s not fair!

“Okay, okay,” he caught his breath. “You’re back to ‘normal’ now. I managed to set your brain to not pick up on accents at all, so you should be fine from now on.”

“Thanks,” I got up, stepping forward, glaring at him. “That’s just wonderful. If I’m gonna merge brains with some stupid cowpony from Appleloosa, then at least I won’t notice his accent!”

Braeburn stepped back a few feet, a glimmer of fear in his eye.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I’m just scared and confused and-”

“And you think I’m not?” Braeburn interrupted me. “You think everypony else who’s going through exactly the same things as you are right now isn’t scared? All those ponies who found themselves in a world not meant for them! How do you think they feel?”

I just sat on the platform floor, my back against the station wall.

“Now, get your lazy flank off the floor and go save the universe!”

I blinked. That was sudden. I looked up and saw Braeburn right in front of me, tugging at my shirt. My normal shirt. Not that stupid leather vest.

“Hey, it’s not stupid!” Brae shouted. “Now get up! I’m gonna have to teach you a few things about your new body.”

“Like what?” I got up, following along behind Brae.

“Oh, my dear me,” he waved around dramatically, “it is time for me to pass on the knowledge I have gathered for many years. The secret skill known to only a few ponies in this new world.”

“And that is...?”

He stopped dead, turned around, and looked me in the eye.

“Applebucking.”

“Wait, what? How? I’m not even-”

“Yes, you are.”

I paused for a second, then looked down. Or, rather, back.

“...what.”

What met my eyes was not my normal human body. Nor was it Braeburn’s. No, what was there was even stranger. Turquoise coat, wings, green mane and tail...

“Well, this is interesting.”

“Yes, it most certainly is. Don’t worry, it should be temporary. Now, come along, ‘Gem’,” he laughed, running off toward the apple orchard. “I can’t keep doing it for you, you know. I can only stay in control for a few seconds.”

“Stay in control...?”

“Yes, I take over control sometimes,” he explained. “Just to get you out of bad situations. Every time you get a sudden boost in power? That was me. But, since we’re merging, I won’t be able to take over, since we’ll be the same mind. So I need to teach you how to properly control and defend yourself, so that that knowledge isn’t lost or diminished when we merge. Trust me, it makes sense.”

I slowly nodded, and followed him. We eventually arrived at the orchard. That is, a single tree atop a hill. My mind apparently doesn’t have the processing power to render thousands of trees whilst also communicating with a magical talking horse from another universe. Who knew.

“Now,” Braeburn instructed as I neared the apple tree, “raise your back legs toward the tree and tense them up.”

I did so.

“Excellent. Now release.”

Unfortunately, I did not. I didn’t get a chance to. Because, at that point, the dream fell apart.

^ EJECT ^

I blinked the tiredness out of my eyes. A hoof was poking at my side. "Huh, wha..." I murmured, before finally snapping back into full consciousness. "What's wrong?"

"Food cart is coming," Gem said, pointing a hoof down the aisle at the approaching hostesses and their metal box of noms. "You want anything?"

I opened my mouth to speak. Instead, all that came out was a burp. And a feather. "...I think I’m good, thanks."

My eyes slowly slid shut, and I finally fell back into the void commonly known as sleep. Or, I would have, if I hadn't been rudely awoken by the sound of the food cart tipping over and the screaming of an angry hostess.

06 - Slight Turbulence

“What is that thing doing here?” she shouted.

“I’m sorry, what seems to be the problem?” I poked my head out into the aisle to see an angry hostess, standing over an overturned food cart. The other one was just staring at her.

“The problem is that you’re here!” she said, glaring at me. “I was promised that I wouldn’t be put on any flights with you... freaks!”

“Freaks? Really?”

At this point, Gem flew out of his seat, climbing over my head. “What’s going on?”

“This lady thinks we’re freaks,” I sighed.

“She what?” Gem laughed.

“Sit down, shut up,” she commanded, staring at Gem. He obeyed. “Now fix this!”

“...fix it?” he tilted his head to the side.

“Fix it!”

“I’m sorry, but, fix what?” I asked.

“This!” she pointed at us. “This whole thing! I know you two know how!”

“Well, y’see, the thing is...” Gem said. “We don’t.”

“You...” she stuttered. “I know you know, so fix it!”

“No, we don’t know, we just woke up like this a few days ago, and even if we knew, we’re not unicorns, we don’t have the kind of magical abilities required to ‘fix’ this,” I explained, calmly.

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” I smiled. “Did I stutter? Allow me to repeat myself. We. Can’t. Fix. This. We. Don’t. Know. How.”

“I know you can! Just... just call up one of your unicorn friends!”

“Sorry, while I have made a few friends on my travels - and a few enemies, but that’s besides the point - I have yet to meet a unicorn,” I said. “Can I get back to my nap now?”

“No, you can’t! Send out some message or something!” she shouted. “Fix this or... or...”

“Or what?” I asked. “You kill us? I don’t think that’ll send a very positive message. Then again, you really haven’t done much towards sending positive messages. I mean, ‘People Against Ponies’? Against the only people that are actually doing something to help?”

“You are not people, you are animals!” she shouted.

“And again, not sending a very positive message,” I smiled. “That comment could get PeTA on your backs, and you don’t really want that. You know how crazy they can be.”

Of course, while I was talking, she had somehow sneaked a gun in front of my muzzle. Oh, great, this is that kind of attack.

“Find a way to fix it, or I shoot,” she glared.

“Really? You’re gonna-”

“I’m not joking!” she shouted, pushing the gun up against my nose. “Fix it, or I kill both of you!”

“I don’t think you want to do that,” Gem said. “I mean, really? Murdering us?”

“It’s not murder!” she shouted. “You’re just animals!”

“No, stop, or you’ll summon PeTA!” I laughed. “No! Not terribly-made parody flash games!”

What the hay are ya doing?

I’m making jokes because otherwise I might panic, okay?

“Shut up or I shoot!”

“Well go ahead and shoot, ‘cause I ain’t shuttin’ up!”

Do you want to get us killed?

No, because I’ll have some clever plan, and we’ll get out of this.

What’s your plan?

I don’t have one yet, but I promise, it’s brilliant.

I could see her hand twitching, her eyes staring into mine, the rage behind them. And my calm gaze back. Come on, any second now, some brilliant plan will hatch in my head. I just have to stall long enough...

“What are you playing at?” she asked.

I just tiled my head to the side. There, that’ll buy a few seconds. Every second counts...

“I said, what-”

“Oh, no, I heard you, don’t worry,” I said. “We’re not really playing at anything.”

“Then what is all this about?”

“Oh, I’m just stalling for time waiting for something brilliant to happen,” I smiled. “Any second now...”

Silence.

“Um, I don’t think anything’s gonna happen...” Gem said, a worried tone creeping into his voice.

Come on, please now, please please...

“You better tell me right now what the fuck you’re planning, or else I-”

“Ladies and gentlemen,” a voice rang out around the plane cabin from the small speakers set sporadically in the ceiling, “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but we’re going to have to make an emergency landing in Halifax, Nova Scotia. I’m sure you all understand why. Could everyone please return to their seats, and all staff return to the back, we are beginning our descent.”

“Well? Go on, to the back,” I smiled, as the plane started to descend. I slid back into my seat, and put my seatbelt on. She just glared at me, walking towards the back of the plane. The other hostess picked up the cart, rolled her eyes, and made her way along behind her.

“I’d say that went rather well,” I turned to Gem, smiling.

“Dude.” Gem just stared at me. “You could’ve gotten us both killed!”

“But I didn’t!”

“But- how does that make sense?” he yelled.

“It makes perfect sense,” I said, leaning back in my seat. “You’re still alive, so be happy.”

“I... dammit, you’re right,” he slumped back in defeat.

I just sat there, with a big dumb smile on my face, looking out the window. “We’ll land in Halifax, and take another flight to New York, right?”

“Do we have enough money?”

“Of course we do, we still have several hundred,” I sighed. “It’ll all be fine...”

>> FFW >>

“What do you mean, we can’t go?!” Gem shouted, hovering in front of the man at customs.

“You can’t go because you don’t have your passport, sir.”

“Passport? Why would we need a passport?” Gem asked.

“Because that’s how security works, sir. If I don’t see a legitimate passport, you can’t go through customs.”

“Look at me,” I said. “I’m a pony.”

“I can see that, sir.” He sighed.

“Yes. That means that, ever since just a few days ago, I don’t match the picture on the passport. Do you see my point?”

“Get the picture retaken, sir. To match your current appearance.”

“But then we’ll miss the flight!” Gem shouted.

“Yes. I’m sorry, sir, but that’s how customs works. The only ponies that can get through without a passport are the only ones that urgently need to get to New York: The Elements.”

“Oh, well why didn’t you say so?” I smiled. “I just so happen to be the Element of...”

Think, think, think!

“...Apple!”

Pause.

Facehoof.

“I’m sorry, sir,” he deadpanned, “but I’ve been given a list of what Elements there are, and ‘Apple’ is not among them. Furthermore, according the basic description which I have been given, none of them are green. And, while one of them is similar to...”

“Name’s Braeburn,” I said.

“...right. While one of them is similar to Braeburn here, he’s got the colors the wrong way round, and only has one apple on his rear, as opposed to the three specified in this description. I’m sorry, sirs. Try harder next time.”

I sighed, and turned away.

“What do we do now?” Gem asked, flying along behind me.

I shrugged. “I have no idea,” I admitted.

“Well, then...”

“Wait...” Idea! “Wait a minute! How did you know I was in trouble?”

“Well, I saw your video...” I could see the realisation slowly dawning on him. “That’s it! We send out a video!”

“Exactly!” I grinned, pulling out my phone. “We just need to find an open internet spot.”

“Well, this airport is bound to have free wi-fi somewhere, right?"

I nodded. “Right. But first, we need to find a place with good lighting. And something that advertises our position.”

“Who cares about landmarks, just say where we are! Right?”

“Okay, sure, that works too,” I sighed, looking around. “This looks like a good place.”

I held up the phone. Dammit, this is so awkward to use with hooves...

Click.

“Hey, guys!” I said into the camera. “Right, so, I’m kinda lost. The good news is, I’m on the right side of the globe, at least. The bad news, I’m on the wrong side of the border.”

“And I’m here too!” Gem pushed his way into the shot, almost causing me to drop the camera.

“That’s nice, Gem, but can you please not almost make me drop the phone?” I asked. “Seriously. Anyway,” I looked back into the camera, “I’m in Halifax, Nova Scotia, just in front of the airport now, and I realise that advertising my position like that might be dangerous, but it’s the only chance I have of making it to New York. What’ll I do there? I have no idea. But at least I’ll be there and have a chance to help. So, yeah. Help!”

I clicked the camera off. The video saved.

“Right, now connect! Free internet! Woo!” Gem raced away back into the airport.

I sighed, and followed.

>> FFW >>

“Right, there, it’s uploading.”

“Do you really think this’ll work?” Gem asked.

“Well, it’s our only chance,” I stated. “Unless you want to risk flying there.”

Gem stood in silence for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I don’t wanna do that.”

Silence.

“...so what now?”

“Well,” I said, “now we wait.”

“Brilliant.” Gem flumped down onto the ground. “I love waiting.”

Silence again.

Wait...

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I just realised,” I said, eyes wide.

“Yes?”

“We’re in Canada.”

“Congratulations on your excellent observation,” Gem snarked.

“No, I’m serious!” I shouted. “We’re in a completely different part of the world! We’re on another continent!”

“Calm down,” Gem sighed, looking away.

“‘Calm down’?!” I grinned. “Do you know how great this is? I’ve never even been outside of Europe, and now this whole pony thing means I get to go to Canada!”

“And it also almost gets you killed,” Gem pointed out.

“But who cares? I’m in a completely new place! I... I just...”

“Yes?”

“...I don’t know,” I flumped down beside Gem. “I’m just... overwhelmed, I guess. By the thought that there’s so much I haven’t seen yet. So much more to see. And the only chance I get of seeing it is to get involved in all this pony-pocalypse crap.”

“Well done. Brilliant. Really.”

“Gem. Have you ever been-”

“No, I’ve never been outside of the UK before this,” he sighed.

“So why are you not excited?”

“Because I don’t care,” he said. “I have other things on my mind right now. Like the fact that I’m a magical talking green pegasus.”

“Turquoise.”

“What?”

“You are turquoise, not green. Sorry, that’s been bugging me since the guy described you.”

“Alright, then,” he blinked.

And so we sat there, waiting.

“Anything yet?” Gem asked after a few minutes.

I checked. “No comments. No views. How did you find my last one?”

“Someone sent me a link,” he shrugged.

“Who was it?”

“I don’t know, some username I can’t remember.”

“Okay, thanks,” I sighed. “That helps.”

“Sorry, I just can’t remember. I deleted the message afterwards.”

“Why?”

“Well, because... I... I can’t remember,” he admitted.

“So, someone you don’t know sent you a link to a video, which only had a couple of views at that point,” I tried to make sense of the situation, “and then you delete the message for no reason?”

“Yeah, basically,” he smiled.

I just stared at him in silence for a few moments. “Okay, then.”

Hello? You there? You’ve been quiet for a while, I’m getting worried.

Huh- wha...?

Wonderful. You’re still here.

Yep! I’m still here!

Yes, that’s what I just said.

“I just realised,” Gem snapped me out of my conversation with the pony in my head. “We should change our money.”

“Hmm, what?”

“We’re in Canada, as you so gleefully pointed out,” he explained. “Canada uses Canadian Dollars. We need to change our British Pounds into Canadian Dollars.”

“Oh. Right. That.” I nodded. “...you go do that.”

“Alright. I’m gonna need the money, though.”

“Oh. Yeah.” I reached into my bag, pulling out the wallet and handing it over to Gem.

“Thank you,” he nodded, and walked away, returning a while later carrying my wallet in his mouth. He dropped it onto the ground. “There.”

“Thanks.” I picked it up and stuffed it back into my bag.

“I’m hungry,” Gem groaned. “Pass me an apple.”

I peered into the bag. “Sorry, all out.”

“Really? I can still smell apples...” He sniffed around, looking puzzled, before staring at me, wide-eyed. “Oh.”

“What?”

“You smell of apples.”

I just stared at him. Then snorted. Then giggled. Which turned into full-on laughter, rolling on the ground.

“Dude, you okay?”

“I... I’m fine,” I managed to recover.

“You sure about that?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, then,” he said. Then he seemed to perk up. “Oh! You asked him yet?”

“What?”

“Well, you said you’d ask him next chance you got...”

“Ask who? Ask what?”

He sighed. “I’m gonna have to spell it out for you, aren’t I? Ask Braeburn if he’s gay.”

Blink. Nod. “Alright.”

Hey, Braeburn?

Don’t worry, I got that. The answer... I don’t know. I’m still kinda confused about it.

“He says he’s confused about it,” I parroted back to Gem.

“Alright,” he nodded. “Well, hopefully he’ll figure it out.”

“Okay, then.”

Silence again.

“Anything yet?” Gem asked.

“Lemme check...” I pulled out the phone, checking the video. “Yep! One comment.”

“Ooh! Read it, read it!”

“Okay, okay, calm down. ‘I’m sorry to hear that,’” I read.“‘I can’t come and meet you, but if you head over to Montreal, we can meet up, and I could get you past the border.’”

I looked up.

“Well, sounds perfectly safe!”

07 - Adventures in Canadia

“Wait,so, let me get this straight,” Gem said. “We’re getting someone to smuggle us over the border?”

“Basically, yes!” I nodded.

“Isn’t that, um, illegal?”

“...maybe,” I mumbled.

“Right. Well, what are we waiting for?”

I grinned. “Nothing. Let’s get the tickets and go!”

I jumped up onto all fours and ran toward the airport.

“Wait, I thought we couldn’t-”

“We can still take the plane,” I explained. “We just can’t get into the US. Montreal is in Canada, so we’re good!”

>> FFW >>

“Ugh, this again.”

I sighed. “Calm down. It’s not gonna take that long this time, it’s a really short flight.”

“But all this queueing...”

“Just be happy that I didn’t ask you to fly us there,” I glared at him.

He was immediately quiet.

“Thank you.”

>> FFW >>

“Oh, hey!” The Appleloosan cowpony grinned once he spotted me. “You’re back!”

“Yeah. I’m back.” I smiled weakly, looking over myself. “And I’m human again.”

“Not exactly...”

“Hmm? What do you mean?” I tilted my head to the side. Something yellow flopped in, just at the edge of my vision. I screamed, falling back, flailing around in the direction of the something yellow.

“Woah, calm down! S’just your ear!”

“Just my what?!” I panted.

“It’s your ear. Or, rather, our ear.”

“I... what... how does that make sense?”

“Remember what I told you.” He walked up to my side, putting a hoof on my shoulder. “We’re... well, we’re merging.”

I just sat there. Slowly, I reached up to it. My hand brushed against it. I could feel it.

Deep breaths. Recover.

I exhaled. “We’re both gonna cease to exist, and some other guy is gonna walk away, having butchered our minds into some half me, half you abomination.”

“Now don’t you think like that!” Braeburn frowned. “That’s not what’s gonna happen at all!”

“Oh, really? Then what is gonna happen?”

“We will still exist,” he explained. “Just that we’ll be... well, one single mind.”

“Yes. Because that completely comforts me and isn’t at all terrifying.”

He sighed. “Sorry, I tried to put it as lightly as I could.”

“Well it didn’t work.” I glared at him.

“What’re you glaring at me for?” he asked. “It’s not like I want this either! Stuck merging with some nerd without the faintest clue how to buck a tree or cook an apple pie!”

I didn’t say anything, just looked at him.

“Okay, that was a bit too far,” he admitted.

“Yes. It was.” I looked off to the single tree sitting atop the hill off in the distance. “But one of those, we can fix right now.”

“What?”

“Well, the tree is right there...”

He followed my gaze. “So it is! Whaddya say, shall I train you up some more?”

“Yep, let’s go!”

>> FFW >>

“Well, here we are,” I stepped out of the airport. “Montreal, Canada.”

“Great. Now, you go find whoever is gonna help us.” Gem grinned, stretching his wings. “I’m gonna go fly around for a bit. All that time in a plane and indoors and stuff is really, um, not fun.”

And, with a few flaps of his wings, he took off.

“Well, fine!” I yelled after him. “Guess I’m all alone.”

I looked around, then sighed.

“I am so lost.”

>> FFW >>

“Oh come on.” I sighed. I’d been searching for the good part of an hour and a half, and I still hadn’t found who I was looking for. Who was I even looking for, anyway? We weren’t given a description, or even a place to meet up. Was it all a lie?

I looked around again, thinking that somehow, in the second it’d taken me to sigh and elaborate that thought, the person I was looking for would just appear in front of me in a flash of light. But that’s impossible. Right?

I shook my head and started walking again. I was lost, I’d lost Gem, and I’d lost whoever directed me here in the first place? If this keeps up any longer I think I’ll just walk past the border, consequences be damned...

I continued wandering around, not really paying attention to where I was going, not caring where I ended up. The more I thought about it, the more this seemed like a trick. I mean, posting a comment saying what city to meet up in, giving vague information, not even telling us where in the city to rendezvous...

...yeah, this was a trap. Dammit!

My wandering eventually brought me to a small, dark alleyway. How I’d even got there, I had no idea, but I was there. Could it have been a move by some all-knowing deity to move on the plot of some intricate storyline spanning the world?

Or maybe I just decided not to write about the few hours of aimless wandering and just cut to the cool part. Yeah, that’s probably it.

I scanned around, looking to see where I was and wondering why the hell I’d chosen to come here. It didn’t look like the kind of place that help would reside in. It looked more like somewhere some questionable organization would use as a meeting place.

“Hey! Look what we got here!”

I turned around. Four guys, all wielding knives. Well, shit.

“We got one of those ponies!” One of them laughed. “What you gonna do now, horse?”

“Well, I think I’ll run,” I said, trying to remain as calm as I could. “But I see that that’s impossible, as you gentlemen seem to be blocking the exit.”

“Look, it’s trying to sound smart!” Another insult, another laugh.

“If you could maybe move out of the way, I can just leave, and we can move on, no harm done.” I smiled.

“No harm?” One of them walked towards me, grinning maniacally. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Well, if you attack me, it gives me a reason to retaliate,” I pointed out, smiling. “And after years of harvesting apples by literally kicking the trees until they fell off, I think I could handle myself in a fight.”

The four guys laughed, all of them coming closer.

“Now, why don’t you keep quiet and relax, make this easy.” The first guy said, putting his knife away and pulling out a length of rope.

I crawled back as far as I could, hitting the wall. Oh, why does every alleyway have some messed up guys trying to kill me?

What do I do, what do I do?

Nothing. That’s the answer. Do nothing.

What?

Just let them hogtie you. You’ll think of something later, right?

Dammit, Braeburn, I’ve used up all my luck! I can’t just think of something later and hope I live long enough to do it!

Wait... don’t you humans have a big weak spot right between your legs?

Well, that would kick off a huge fight. There’s four guys here, and, even though there are two voices in our head, we’re still only one pony. And who knows how much backup these guys have? We don’t stand a chance.

Well, what other options do we have? Let ‘em tie you up? You gonna let them do that?

...no. I’m not.

The man with the rope had started to tie up my forelegs, giving me right about the perfect angle to...

“Ow, shit! The little fuck kicked me!”

I rolled away from him as he reeled in pain. The others all ran towards me, knives bared.

I looked up to the sky, pointing as best I could. “Hey, look over there!” I shouted.

“Hah, it thinks we’ll fall for something like tha-”

He fell to the ground, as something turquoise landed on his back, its hoof connecting with the back of his head multiple times. Someone else pulled Gem off the guy's back, and the last guy went after me. I turned around and lifted my legs up, tensing them and releasing them at just the right time, all before he could react.

Not bad, but next time, build up more energy.

Yes, I would if I had time. But, in case you haven’t noticed-

I kicked someone else away, looking at Gem as he flew around, limbs flailing, attacking two of them at once.

-I’m kind of busy at the moment.

Oh okay, sorry for giving advice.

I defended myself as best I could, while Gem struggled against one of them, who was holding him from behind, his arms around Gem’s chest. The man’s nose was bloody and his face was bruised from Gem’s attack, but he wasn’t giving up. One of the others walked up behind him, wrapping a rope around his legs, hogtying him.

The other two recovered from me kicking them and tied me up as well. I couldn’t do anything about it. We were strong, yes, but it was two against four, and they had weapons. And rope.

Gem was struggling the whole time, trying to remove the ropes and the gag, but I just lay there.

“You two could fetch a pretty price,” one of them grinned, standing over us.

Why aren’t you fighting back? Come on, you can attack them!

No, I can’t. Don’t you see? There’s four of them. They likely have backup, too. And they have knives. Don’t you remember what happened last time?

Braeburn looked at our flank. There was a slight scar there, cutting across the bright red apple that marked it.

...yes. Okay. So, what’s the plan?

There is no plan. We give up. Journey’s end.

But-

No. But nothing. Game over.

Thunk.

A rock flew through the air, hitting the one standing over me.

“What the hell was that?” He whipped around, locking eyes with his assailant.

At the entrance of the alleyway stood a unicorn, a yellow one, to be precise, her teal aura wrapped around a few other rocks which floated around her, a leather jacket on her back and a grin on her face.

“Eh bien... Ce q’est passe ici?”

The four humans were walking towards her. “We got another one?” One of them grinned. “And a unicorn too...”

Another rock flew through the air, narrowly missing the head of the one that talked.

He responded by pulling out a length of rope.

She countered with a magic trick. Specifically, making the rope flail around as if it was alive.

“Shit, what the fuck?!” He dropped the rope on the ground, stamping on it in fear. The rope wrapped around his leg, snaking around and tripping him up.

The unicorn disappeared in a flash, reappearing just next to me, glaring. “You two gonna run? Or do you wanna help me teach these morons a lesson?” She untied Gem’s gag.

“I- What? Of course I’m gonna run!” Gem said as soon as it came off. “We tried fighting, and look what happened!”

She glanced over to the four humans, then turned back to me, untying my gag. “You too?”

“N-no!”

She sighed, then turned back to our attackers.

It happened faster than I could think.

One second they were just standing there, the next, they were all incapacitated, their knives were on the ground, and they were hogtied. One had a bin over his head, yelling, squirming against the rope that held him to the other one, still wrapped in the snake-rope. Another was unconscious, bent over a wheelie bin. The last started running away. He flashed away, disappearing and reappearing next to the unicorn, who shot him point-blank with a magic bolt.

She looked around, then walked away.

I looked at Gem, smiling. “Well, that was nice of her.”

Gem just wriggled around, struggling against his rope. “Hey!” he shouted to the unicorn. “You gonna untie us or what?”

She looked back, rolled her eyes, then walked back to us, unravelling the ropes.

“Thank you.” I smiled

She looked at us suspiciously. “So what brings an Appleloosan and a pony from Scoltland here? Or are you a pair of french humans turned pony?” she asked, turning to untie Gem.

“We were told to come here,” I explained. “I guess it was a trap.”

She rolled her eyes again. “A pretty poor one. I’m surprised you couldn’t take them out on your own...”

Her voice. Her goddess-damned voice. If her voice had a face, I’d punch it.

She turned around, walking away again.

“H-Hey! We tried, okay? They had ropes! And knives! There were four of them!” Gem shouted.

“So, you’re just gonna leave, while insulting us, after having just saved our lives?” I asked. “I’m getting mixed signals here.”

She paused, looking over her shoulder at us. “Well, I have no reason to stay,” she said, nonchalantly. She tied up the stunned human and the one bent over the wheelie bin.

She could help us.

Yes she could.

But she seems too… stuck-up to even think of lifting a hoof to help us.

Exactly. She’s got a kind of... Trixie personality. Let’s use that.

“Well, you’re strong, you’re smart...” I smiled. “We could learn a lot from you.”

She looked over to the guy with the bin over his head, who, sometime in the past minute, had regained consciousness and started screaming. She levitated a rock over and slammed it over his head. The screaming stopped instantly. “While true, I still don’t see why I should stick around you two.”

“Because we’re weak and hopeless, and in an unfamiliar place,” I said. “We, well, need help.”

“Unless you’re too full of yourself to help us,” Gem added. I glared at him.

"What exactly do you need help with?” she asked. “I’m not exactly planning on remaining in this city for long.”

“Well, neither are we!” Gem said.

"We need to get to New York," Brae explains. "And they're not gonna let us through without passports. Unless we're Elements. Which we're not. So, we need someone to take us through. I was hoping you could help with that."

“I'm quite aware of that.” She glanced back at us. “Incompetence on the local government's part or something...” She stopped to think for a moment, then turned around to look at us. “Fine. I was staying at the Delta Hotel last night. There’s a bus station nearby. Meet me there in two hours.” She started walking away again.

I turned to Gem. “That went better than I expected.”

“Do we even know her name?” Gem asked.

“...no, we don’t. Hey!” I shouted at the unicorn. “What’s your name? Just kinda wondering...”

She paused once again, glancing back with a cocky smirk. “Sunset Shimmer. Be there on time. I’m not waiting.” She walked away.

Silence for a while. Gem and I sat there, surrounded by the unconscious forms of the four humans. Eventually, Gem spoke up.

“Okay, so she’s good with magic, got some Trixie-level tricks - and cockiness - and is called ‘Sunset Shimmer’?” He stared at me. “We dealing with some terrible OC here or something?”

I glared back at him, then started walking away, out of the alley. “Two hours… we have two hours to kill. What’re we gonna do?”

Gem shrugged.

I sighed.

08 - Apples Forever, Apples Together

“Right,” I said, looking around the shopping area. “About another hour and a half to kill. What should we do?”

“Well, I’m kinda hungry…”

“Already?” I stared at him, then thought for a moment, hoof to my chin. “I guess I’m a might hungry too…”

“Alright. Well, while I was flying around, I saw this cool restaurant.”

“Oh?” I smiled. “You think you have enough money?”

“I’m not sure. I might be running a bit low after paying for the tickets here.”

“Maybe we should get something from somewhere a little cheaper.”

“Yeah…”

“Come on.” I walked away. “Let’s go find a supermarket or something, get a cheap apple pie.”

“Is that all you eat?”

“I wish!” I laughed. My laugh trailed off at the look Gem was giving me. “...what? They’re good!”

Gem just sighed, rolled his eyes, and followed along behind me.

>> FFW >>

“Hey, I just realised.” I looked up from the pie, at Gem. “You know some of my… story, but I don’t know yours.”

“Actually, you know more about me than I know about you,” Gem said. “You know my old name. Even though you never use it anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jeremy.”

I stared at him for a moment. “Who’s Jeremy?”

“I am!”

“No, silly,” I laughed. “You’re Gem!”

“I am now, but… oh, forget it. Who I was isn’t important.”

“Not… important?” I stared at him. “Not important?” I sighed. “Do I have to quote Doctor Who? There is no such thing as somepo- someone that’s not important.”

“Well, I’m as unimportant as it gets. I was made in ten minutes using Pony Creator and a random name generator!”

“Yes.” I nodded. “And then developed for months. You’re not just a ponysona, or some throwaway OC for me to slap onto everything pony-related I make. You are a person, with feelings, and a personality.”

“That you created. I… I just realised. I’ve been travelling with my creator. I am talking to the mind that created mine.”

I just stared. “Am I… your god, or something?”

Gem chuckled. “No, no… you’re my author. That’s… kinda different.”

“I guess…”

“You know, you can switch really fast.”

I tilted my head, looking at him curiously.

“I mean, one second you were laughing, and then you were all serious and philosophical.”

“Yeah.” I looked at him. “Because you were thinking you weren’t important. I can joke at most things, but not that. Everyone is important.”

Gem smiled. “But still, we know next to nothing about each other.”

“Right. Well…” I thought for a moment. “I am… was… my name was Alberto. But I prefer going by Braeburn, ‘cause it sounds a little less ridiculous with this accent. I can’t really hear my own accent, since Braeburn - the real Braeburn - messed around with my head a bit and made me ignore accents to stop me going insane from hearing my ridiculous accent constantly.” I blinked. “Anyway. I’m… well, I was rather unimportant. This is the biggest thing that’s happened to me.”

“Okay… Well, I was Jeremy. Before… this. And, I’m much the same. This is the only thing I’ve been a part of that’s been important outside of Perth. And… I still don’t know how I should feel about that.”

“...happy?” I suggested.

“Yeah, sounds about right.” He smiled.

I smiled back.

“So… How far along are you?” I asked.

He looked at me, puzzled.

“In the merge,” I explained.

“Oh. Well, how should I know?” He shrugged. “I guess I’m kinda starting to get different memories and stuff… maybe? I don’t know…”

“Really? Isn’t there some kinda… visualisation in your head? ‘cause in mine, I’m… well, I get more pony-ish every time.” I shrugged. “Ears, now. I have pony ears. In my head, I mean.”

Gem just looked at me. “...right. Okay.”

Silence.

“...well. Um. Yeah.” I said. Then smiled, and plunged my muzzle back into the apple pie.

>> FFW >>

“Oh god, I just realised.”

Gem looked at me curiously. “What?”

“You’re naked.”

That caused him to burst out laughing hard enough to fall out of the sky and land beside me. “‘course that’s the thing you realise as I’m flying overhead!”

I blushed. “N-no, I was just… how can you go around naked like that, anyway?”

“Well, you’re going bottomless. That’s kinda the same thing.”

“No it’s not!” I blushed even brighter. “J-just… never mind.”

“Are you sure you’re confused? ‘cause I’m pretty sure I saw you watching me while I flew.” He smirked.

“I’m not gay! I’m not! Just… just stop, okay?”

“Okay. Sorry. Geeze.”

I smiled at him, and we continued wandering around. “Thanks. I don’t really want to think about that on top of everything else…”

>>FFW>>

“Come on, it’s this way!”

“No…” I looked around the map. “It should be over here…”

“Brae.” I looked up at Gem. “It’s literally right there.”

I looked at where he was pointing. “Oh. Well, let’s go!”

We entered the rather large bus terminal, wandering for a while before seeing our ‘escort’, sitting on a bench, her phone floating in front of her. She was just sitting there calmly, not even acknowledging the stares she received from the other travellers.

I looked up at… well, where I thought Gem was. He wasn’t there, of course. He’d flown over to the bench, landing right next to her. What was her name again? Sunset. Something.

I trot after him, sitting on the other side.

She glanced over at Gem, then back to her phone. “Bus leaves in fifteen,” she said, after a moment. “Get your tickets for New York. When it stops at the border, we can sneak away, and cross then.”

Me and Gem both nodded, and we ran off to get them. It was boring. Aside from a few looks, the tickets were obtained with no trouble.

“Got ‘em,” Gem said as he landed.

Sunset glanced at us again, then hopped off the bench, stashing her phone away in her pocket and walking off. We followed, and I put the tickets in my pocket. I’m so glad I’m actually wearing something. I mean… pockets.

“So, is that it?” Gem asked. “We just sneak past? No big, complicated plot? Nothing?”

I glared at him. He glared back.

“What?”

She looked back at Gem, giving him a rather smug look. “The border between Canada and the USA is extremely porous,” she said, with a smile. “I’m surprised you didn’t just fly.” She laughed a little. “Unless the Appleloosan is too heavy for you to carry…”

“Yeah, he kinda is,” Gem said.

“H-hey!” I frowned.

“What?” Gem looked down at me. “You are.”

We returned to walking in silence. We stepped onto an escalator. Well, me and Shimmer. Gem flew. Bottom of the escalator, we step off, and, after a moment’s glance at the signs on the ceiling, and down at her ticket, Sunset trots off to join a small queue forming, next to a bus.

“This place is really… big.” I looked around. We had descended into an underground area. A sort of tunnel, or cave, built beneath the plaza above.

“Yeah…” Gem nodded, landing behind me me, walking along.

I glanced over to Sunset. She seemed to be staring at us. Well, actually, staring at Gem. Who glared back. “Yes?” he asked. “Is there something you want?”

“No…” She frowned, shaking her head. “Just trying to figure out where in the show you’re from. I don’t recognise you…”

“That’s ‘cause I’m not in the show.” He smiled. “I’m an original character. His, actually,” he pointed a hoof at me. I smiled at him.

“I see…” she muttered, then turned back to the lineup.

“Um, Brae?” Gem looked around. “We’re attracting a lot of attention.”

“Oh?” I smiled. “Just smile and wave, then.”

Gem smiled sheepishly, blushing, waving a hoof. Sunset just rolled her eyes, and looked back to her phone. I looked over her. Wait… she’s a unicorn… Gem’s a pegasus…

“Hey, I just realised!” I shouted, attracting more attention. “We have all three types of ponies now.”

“I don’t see why that’s an accomplishment,” Sunset muttered, her focus still on her phone. “I’m not planning on sticking around.

“Yeah, but… I just thought it was kinda cool…” I shrugged.

“So,” Gem spoke up, “you’re just gonna help us past, then leave us?”

I sighed. “Just be happy she’s doing that much, Gem.”

“I’m only helping you accomplish something you should’ve been able to do yourselves.” She glanced up from her phone, at us. “Your final destination is Mane- Manhattan Island, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Gem nodded. “Wherever Celesta said to gather.”

As soon as I said that, her expression changed completely. “She said only the Elements were supposed to go there. Nothing about random ponies like you two.”

“She never prohibited ‘random ponies’ from going there.” I frowned. “And we’re not just ‘random ponies’. I’m the cousin of the Bearer of Honesty, and this guy,” I pointed back to Gem, “is a figment of my imagination given life. And we want to do everything we can to help. So, yeah, we’re going.”

She just kinda looked at us for a moment. “Your funeral,” she muttered as she moved along with the line.

We stepped onto the bus. Sunset gave her ticket to the driver. Me and Gem did the same. I looked around the bus.

Sunset had taken an empty seat next to the window. I smiled, and sat beside her. Gem flew behind me, perching himself somewhere above us.

The driver shot an annoyed look towards Gem. “Sit down, um… sir?”

“Do I have to?” Gem frowned. The driver continued to glare. “...fine.” He flew somewhere behind us, taking an actual seat this time.

I looked over to Sunset. She had stashed everything away, her bag below her seat, and was just staring out of the window.

I tried to just sit still and keep quiet and not bug her. I swear, I tried.

“So, Sunset…” I tried. Sorry. “Who… were you?”

She glanced towards me. “Why do you want to know?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. Just making conversation, I guess.”

She stared at me for a few more moments. “Normally I wouldn’t care, but the people of this world seem convinced I’m some kind of bad character from a story. Like your friend there.”

“Well… maybe you are?” I smiled. “You could be someone’s original character. Gem didn’t know that he was until he met me and I told him.”

She glared at me. “I am not the product of some idiot’s imagination. I refuse to believe that my entire life has been dictated and decided for me by somepony else.”

I chuckled at that. “Sunset… in the end, we’re all just characters in some story, created by some idiot’s imagination. Even I am. But we’ve broken free now, right? We’re not some author’s plaything. We control our destinies now.”

She smiled--she actually smiled!--at that. “Maybe. It still disturbs me to think that my past is not my own.” She just stared out the window.

I smiled, glancing back at Gem. He smiled back.

A while passed, Sunset occasionally pulling her phone out.

“You never did answer my question, though…”

She smirked. “And I don’t plan to. Just accept that I’m willing to help you for some reason and leave it at that.”

I nodded. “Okay, I guess. Everyone’s allowed to keep secrets.”

She nodded back, and turned back to the window.

I just sat there, smiling. Thing were looking up. We were gonna make it to New York, with the help of this unicorn mare.

And it was at that point that I realised why I wanted to go to New York so badly. Not because everypony -- and gryphon, and dragon, and whatever other creatures got sucked into this mess -- would be there. Not because the Elements would be there. Not because shit would go down there. The ‘final battle’ wasn’t even of importance to me.

I realised that the reason I was so determined to go, was because she’d be there. Applejack. My cousin. Well, half cousin. She’d be there, and we’d meet up, and everything will be so happy…

Who am I kidding. She’s probably dead, or at least captured by PAPA at this point. But, still, there’s that faint glimmer of hope, that she’ll be there.

I started to hum, a song that’d been building up in my head since the start of the incident, since I woke up like this. I smiled, hearing me, and AJ, and Bloom and Mac, all singing along.

We're Apples forever, Apples together.We're family, but so much more.No matter what comes, we will face the weather.We're Apples to the core…

09 - That Went Well

I looked out the window as the train once more pulled into the Appleloosa station. I smiled, stepping off.

“Heya!” Braeburn once again greeted me as I walked along the platform.

Then his smile faded, and he just sat there, looking at me, his eyes seeming to follow something behind me.

“...what’re you looking at?”

“Uh, ya kinda have a tail.”

I looked back, behind me. Sure enough, there was a tail, softly swishing from side to side, somehow poking out the back of my trousers.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“...eh, could be worse. I could’ve got the hooves.”

“Well, that’s gonna come soon enough. I’m… kinda starting to think we should just, y’know, merge. Get it over with. Before I have to deal with hands or something.”

I sighed, sitting down, back against the station’s wall. That would be a good idea, yeah, but… there was still a part of me scared of losing myself. A rather big part. And I knew that Braeburn felt the same way.

But still. Merging would mean we wouldn’t have to deal with this decision, all this worrying, all this panic over what we would become…

“...I don’t know, Brae. I really… don’t know. ‘cause if we merge, we won’t be able to, like, have these chats and stuff…”

Braeburn chuckled at that. “So you don’t wanna merge ‘cause you wanna keep seeing me?”

I smiled. “Yeah, I guess...”

“So, you like me?”

“Uh, yea--”

And it was at that point Braeburn decided to tackle me. I think the technical term is ‘glomp’.

“Hey!”

“What? You said you liked me!” He grinned.

I frowned at him. But my frown quickly faded, and I hugged him tight. “How’d it even work, anyway?”

“What?”

“Merging. Like, how would we do it?”

He just looked at me. “...I have no idea.”

“Oh, okay, then.” I just sat there, smiling, Braeburn lying in my arms. “I guess we’d just kinda agree on merging, and it’d just happen. Right?”

Braeburn just shrugged.

I don’t know how long we sat there for, me just holding him close, before I broke the silence.

“Um, Braeburn… y’know that time when I asked you about… stuff… and you said you were still confused?”

“What… oh, right. That.”

“Maybe merging could help? I dunno, I’m still kinda confused about all that too, but… I mean… maybe with both of us merged, and, like, not worrying about the merge…”

“Yeah, yeah. I get what you mean. But I really don’t wanna lose myself. And I can tell you don’t want to lose me either,” he said with a smile.

I said nothing to that, just held him close. “We’re still gonna have to do it, some day. I mean, we can’t keep trying to hold it back forever.”

“I know, but… I’m scared.”

“I’m scared too, Braeburn… I’m scared too…”

>> FFW >>

I opened my eyes, to see Shimmer looking rather repulsed, Gem with his tongue out, and with my cheek feeling a bit wet.

“...did you just… lick me?”

“We’re here, Brae,” Gem said. “Get the passports.”

I blinked. “Right. Okay.”

I reach a hoof over to the rucksack, rummaging around in there. Where are… Aha! Two passports!

“Don’t think they’d be much use,” I said, flicking through them, “since the picture, name, age… heck, the species doesn’t even match any more.”

“Just shut up and gimmie,” Gem commanded.

I did.

“That doesn’t matter,” Sunset replied. “We’re just going to make a scene if they don’t allow us through. Storm off and walk maybe a kilometer up the road before ducking into the forest.” She started heading off the bus. “There’s a town a bit south of here, Champlain. Once we get there, we should be able to find a way to New York.”

“...right, okay,” I said, getting up and following her, Gem hovering along behind.

We got off the bus, and into the line. Pretty long line. Pretty boring line.

After a while, Gem decided to try making conversation.

“Hey, Brae?”

“What?”

“You worked it out yet?”

...worked it out? “Worked what out?”

“Y’know…” Oh, no. Just don’t, Gem. “If you’re--”

I cut him off with a glare. “Gem, if the next word of that sentence is ‘gay’, I will applebuck you into next week.”

That shut him up.

And Sunset simply rolled her eyes.

The line moved ever so slowly forward. I’ll skip this boring standing around in line. Doesn’t make for a very good narrative.

So, we made it to the front of the line. Sunset, ignoring the rather confused look on the customs officer, floated the passports onto the counter.

“Monsieur Veilleux?”

Sunset nodded.”Oui… C’est moi,” she replied, in rather broken French.

The officer frowned, and gave a little cough.

“I’m afraid to say that you cannot be allowed through,” the officer said, switching to English. Thanks, officer, now I can actually understand you. Sunset was clearly less pleased than me about this, though, twitching an ear and frowning in irritation. “Your current state does not match what is within your passport,” the officer continued. “Unless your friends have also updated their info, I will not be able to let them through as well.”

I sighed. Gem flew up to the officer.

“Seriously? Come on, this is an international crisis. So what if we didn’t have time to update the passports? We need to get through. The fate of the world-- no, the fate of the universe depends on it!”

Really, Gem? I thought, as I just kinda looked at him.

Sunset growled. “Dramatics aside, these two had no issues getting over here from…”

She paused, then looked at our passports, then at us.

“Scotland,” Gem answered her unasked question.

She nodded. “They had no troubles until they came here!”

“As this is not England, we have different requirements before we allow you through,” the officer answered, eliciting a startled and angry glare from Gem, mouthing ‘England?!’ “I am sorry, but I suggest you return to Montreal and contact your em--”

Sunset shook her head angrily. “We don’t have time! Augh! What is with you humans being so incompetent!?”

“Miss, please calm down,” the officer said.

I could see a security guard approaching, another standing by, just watching. “Officer,” I said, turning back to the customs officer. “We really do not have time. The fate of the universe depends on you letting us through. Do you want  the cosmos to fall into the clutches of the god of chaos himself? Let us through, now!”

The officer gave a little nod to the guard, and they stepped forward, one of them putting a hand on Sunset. She turned and glared at him, horn shining with magic. “Fine, we’ll go. But you’re going to regret this!” she said, shaking off the guard’s hand and storming off outside, onto the road.

I was about to follow her when I noticed Gem, hovering up behind one of the guards.

“England?!”

“Gem, no!”

I jumped up, grabbing him by the tail (oh my) and running after Sunset, dragging him along behind me.

Sunset kept walking, nose held up snobbily in the air, looking furious, on the side of the road back towards Montreal. I followed, keeping up the act.

Eventually, we were a safe distance away. Sunset’s tone changed from furious to amused. “That went well.”

I let go of Gem’s tail, and looked at him, still flailing around. “Let me go!” he said. “I need to beat the stupid out of them!”

I bapped him on the head, jolting him from his rage. He looked around. “Oh.”

Sunset just stared. “If you two are done acting like fools, we can get moving. I’m thinking we get just far enough, a kilometer or two, and duck into the woods.” She paused. “If somepo-- one tries to stop us, I’ll teleport, with the earth pony. You,” she said, looking at Gem, “will fly off. Alright?”

I nodded. But Gem looked at Sunset, confused.

“How’ll I know where you’ve teleported to?” he asked.

“Some sort of magical flare, perhaps,” Sunset answered. “Unless you want to be teleported with us.”

Gem shrugged. “If you don’t think you’re magic enough to teleport all three of us, I’ll fly, sure,” he said, smirking.

Sunset shot him a glare. “I could teleport up to a dozen ponies. Some just don’t like the experience, and you have another, non-magical method to escape easily.”

“Well, I’m lazy.” He grinned. “Teleport!”

I sighed. “Alright, we got our escape plans in order?”

Sunset nodded, and started to walk off, leading them on the shoulder of the road. I trotted along behind her, and Gem hovered along behind me.