Pinkie Pie: Private I - The secrets of my friends

Okayokayokay... uhmmm... heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee! I can't believe I'm talking to real, live humans! Okay... Uh... My name is Heartstrings. Lyra Heartstrings, but everypony just calls me Lyra. So... I gotta KNOW! What is your world like? How do you walk on just your hind limbs? How does magic work in your world? IS there magic in your world? Who controls the sun in your world? Is Celestia in control of both our suns? And most important of all... What's it like to have HANDS!? They're like tiny bodies with little limbs of their own! And they pick things up and, and, and they're AMAZING! *Pant* Please tell me!

...Did I frighten you? Wait... can you even talk back?

NOOOOOO! I WAS SO CLOSE TO FINDING OUT ABOUT HUMANS! I EVEN TALKED WITH THEM AND I STILL COULDN'T DO IT!

No. I'm not giving up. Now I know you're real. I have proof. And I won't quit until I have the answers!

Heeheheahahahahuhuhhahha!

Wowie Mr. Reader, Who was THAT nut? I just saw a crazy mare in a cloak screaming about how she'll "Never give up searching for the answers, HAHAHAHAH!" I better find Lyra fast, It'd be dangerous to let her wander with somepony like that on the loose.

So anyway, Mr. Author and I were talking (1) and we decided on this. Mr. Awesomebronypony gets to pick the next secret! SHHHHH!!! Keep your voice down! The last thing we need is for everypony in Ponyville to know about my friends secrets. You all on the other hand, can't talk back to them, so it's fine for you. So who'll it be? Rares? 'Shy? AJ? Pinki- Wait I'M Pinkie... NO! Don't ask for my secret! It's too embarrassing! I mean, uh... I don't have any secrets. I'm an open book, just like Mr. Journal. No need to look into my secrets, because they aren't real, okay?

Okie dokie lokie Mr. Reader! Hope you enjoy things so fa--

THRRRRRRRMMMMMM...

That's the sound I just heard! It came from the library! Sorry Mr. Reader, I gotta make sure everypony's okay!