Pinkie Pie: Private I - The secrets of my friends

by Luna-cy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 6544

The eternally peppy party pony Pinkie Pie is determined to discover the "secrets" of her friends.

Hiya Mr. Reader! My name's Pinkamena Diane Pie, but that's long and super boring so call me Pinkie Pie! I kept some super specially spectacularly secret journals about my top secret secrety snooping! I got all my notes and clues here about all my friends super-duper mondo-spectacular secrets! SHHHHH!!! Don't tell anypony!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-30 16:50:48 UTC

Twilight's Secret (Part 1)

Hey there Mr. Journal! My name's Pinkie Pie! Well actually it's Pinkamena Diane Pie, but nopony likes that because it's so long and boring, so everypony just calls me Pinkie Pie instead because it's so much more fun! I just can't wait for the summer sun festival this year! Wanna take a guess where it is Mr. Journal? I already asked Gummy but he just bit my tail and blinked which I guess I sort of expected, I mean, have you ever heard of a alligator talking? Oh yeah! Gummy's my pet alligator. He's right here! Say hi to Mr. Journal Gummy. Aww, he bit your cover. I think he likes you! Anyways, do you know where the summer sun festival is Mr. Journal?

P-O-N-Y-V-I-L-L-E. Ponyville! Can you believe it? When I heard that Princess Celestia herself was coming I got my best party ever planned! Mrs. Cake says I should take a break because I haven't stopped working on making the most super amazing Pinkie Pie Party of all time! I got my cutie mark in making the best parties in all of Ponyville, but I actually got it at my family's rock farm. I saw a bunch of pretty colors in the sky and it made me super exited so I wanted to make parti- OMIGOSH! I see a new pony in town! I can't believe I missed being the first pony to meet her - stupid, stupid Pinkie! I'll be back later Mr. Journal, I gotta get ready for my "There's a new pony in Ponyville" party. See you later alligator! -No not you Gummy, Mr. Journal!

Hiya Mr. Journal! It's me again, y'know, Pinkie Pie! I gotta say something that I never thought I'd ever say in a million years: A pony DOESN'T LIKE my parties! I know right? Not liking a party is like not liking the sun in the sky or a super tasty cake! The new pony's name is Twilight Sparkle, she SAYS she's here to get us ready for the summer sun festival, but how can she be getting ready for a festival if she doesn't even like parties? I mean, a festival is just one super big and important party right? Well, I think it's almost midnight now, cause the moon's so high up in the skyOMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSHWHATISTHAT! The moon Mr. Journal! I looked up at the moon, and all of a sudden the stars moved in close and the mare in the moon disappeared! What is this!? Oooh my Pinkie sense is going wild! Something super bad's gonna happen soon, I just know it!

IT WAS ALL REAL. Mr. Journal. At the beginning of the Summer Sun festival, a big meany alicorn showed up, but it wasn't Princess Celestia, oh no. You know who it was? NIGHTMARE MOON. Yeah the one who's in all the little foals storybooks? SHE'S REAL. The big meany sent Princess Celestia away and y'know who was the only pony was who knew who she was? Twilight. Yep, the party pooper acted like she even KNEW her! I have to think... She shows up... acts like she doesn't like the festival... knew who Nightmare Moon was... Maybe... Do you think so Mr. Journal? No, no, that's just silly... But then again, we thought the same thing about Nightmare Moon... Gummy, do you have any suggestions? Heheh, Gummy just bit my tail again... Wait. No way. Biting... OH NO. Just think about it Mr. Journal: she shows up and tries to hide inside the whole time during the day, knew who Nightmare Moon, the Queen of Nighttime scares, was, and is even trying to get some ponies to go into the Everfree Forest with her at this time of night! And the name? Twilight Sparkle? I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner-OH NO! Some of the ponies are following her! Okay, I'm going in to protect them, I've gotta warn them that Twilight Sparkle... Is actually...

A VAMPONY!!!

Okay okay I'll get on it, just calm down Pinkie! (Interlude 1)

Oh hey there Mr. Reader! Did you like hearing about Twilight's Secret?

...Wait, what was that? It's not finished yet!? Oooh that Mr. Author always gets so lazy!

Hmm... what to do... Oh I know! I could throw a part- No, no that won't work, I forgot you're on the box... Well... I can't just TELL you the whole story, that'd ruin the surprise! So what do you know so far?

Yes... vampony... Everfree... What? That's seriously all that's out right now? *Sigh* I guess I'll just have to settle for trying to keep you entertained myself. It wouldn't surprise me if that goof off Mr. Author only wrote this to get up to a thousand words.

Well, seeing as he obviously is off writing something other than finishing the actual story arc I don't know what exactly to do. I mean, I throw parties all the time, but they're always for ponies, I never tried throwing a party for monkeys, and I don't think it's even possible to play pin the tail on the pony through that box!

...Huh? You AREN'T monkeys? Then what are you?

...Hyu-min? OH aren't you those things Mrs. Heartstrings talks about all the time? Wow, you have no idea how much she wants to meet one of you. That's Lyra Heartstrings by the way. She's Minty green, has a lyre cutie mark... Wait wait wait, you already know her? You knew her before you even started reading this? So that lazy author has been trying to get me to talk to you about stuff you already know because he doesn't feel like writing anything original? Hold on for a minute.

Oh Mr. Auuuthoooorr. Remember when you Pinkie Promised not to avoid working on this by getting too lazy? Remember? *SLAM* THEN GET IN GEAR AND START WORKING ON IT YOU PINKIE PROMISE BREAKING LYING CHEATING SNEAKING DUMB *JERKFACE*!!!

Okay, Mr. Reader, that should get him going, he NEVER stops working when a lady is mad at him. I'll keep a better watch over him from now on, but for now...

Wave goodbye to the Hoo-munz Gummy! Bye-bye! See you when that naughty Mr. Author is done with the next part of the story!

Twilight's Secret (Part 3)

Phew! I just got through singing to others. Why was I singing? Because they were scared! I don't know if the monster was faking or not, but from those screams I just couldn't help but try to fix things. There's not too much light coming in through the trees, so I couldn't see anything By the end we were all Giggling at the ghostly, but there was one ghostie I kept my eye on the whole time.

What's with her? Twilight seems like she's nervous about something, but isn't willing to do anything about it. If I didn't know any better I'd say she doesn't even know anything about having friends! I mean, she turns down my "There's a new pony in Ponyville" Party, and tries to avoid everypony else at every chance she gets. I don't get it. Wouldn't a vampony want to be around as many ponies as possible so she could find which ones she wants?

Something really strange is going on Mr. Journal, and we're going to figure it out.

I'm trying to stay at the back of the group, I wanna stay as far away from the Vamp as possible. Things are getting super serious, if we go to much farther in, who knows how many more of 'em will show up? My heart almost stopped after we met that sea serpent, I don't know how I'll handle seeing a real vampony! His name was Steven Magnet by the way. The sea serpent that is. Wait, didn't I tell you about Steven yet? Oh Pinkie you're so silly! He was a big snake-dragon looking thing in the river I told you about before, and big meany Black Snooty cut off his mustache! He was crying, well, a river! I wish I did something to help him, but it was actually Rarity who went in and helped him. Yeah Rarity, and she did it by cutting off her mane. Rarity spends three hours a day on that thing! I checked! And she was willing to give it up for a dragon guy she met two minutes earlier? I feel kinda guilty, I always thought Rarity was so greedy and self-centered, but after that? I feel like I should throw a "The most generous pony in ponyville party" for her. Now I KNOW I have to stop this vampony. I'm not letting some hungry monster get rid of some of the most kind, loyal, truthful, and generous ponies in Ponyville!

What's that up ahead? Is that a ravine? Wow, I didn't think something like this would be in the forest! So deep... What!? Mr. Journal, the bridge is broken! We'll never get to the other side now! After all that, we're stopped by this? Fluttershy had to talk down a Manticore for us to get this far! I'm not saying anything about the manticore I'm too upset! We did so much and now it's too late. Twilight's gonna turn around, hypnotize us all and drain us like a glass of cider! I failed I Eheheh... Never mind. Dashie said she'd be able to fly across the gap and fix the bridge. I guess I overreacted, there's nothing to be scared of yet. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twilight's Secret (Part 4)

MRJOURNALTHEYGOTDASHIEHELPMEHELPMEHELPMEHELPMEHELPME!

Across the gap. There she is. With three other ponies. Three other ponies with BIG BLACK BAT WINGS. It's all my fault. I should have known better than to let her cross alone. I should have known better than to let her cross at all! This is it. With Dashie gone, it's all over. No WAY any of us could outrun her, and we needed everypony we could get to even stand a chance. I'm done. It's been nice knowing you Mr. Journal. Hey, maybe after they turn me I'll write in you again sometime?

I hope the Cakes will be alright without me... Mrs. Cake... She's due to have her baby in four months. Now I'll never get to throw my "There's a new foal in the Cake family" party... I'll never see Gummy again. Not alive anyway. Or Mom. Or Dad. Or Inky. Or Blinky. I'll never be happy at sunrise again. Mr. Journal, did you fall in the river when I told you not to? Then why are your pages wet? And why do my eyes feel warm? Am I... Crying? It's been a long time since I cried... I don't wanna die Mr. Journal. I wanna be with my family. I wanna see the sunrise. I wanna make ponies snacks, not make ponies the snack. I wanna live Mr. Journal. I wanna-

Wait. They haven't bit her yet. I've been looking up every few seconds. Why haven't they-! She's fixing the bridge! They didn't get her yet! GO DASHIE GO! Quick! Get back! YES! She did it! And they're running away! I can't stop crying, but it feels different when I'm crying now. Somehow... happy. Gotta dry my face off before we go or Twilight might catch on to me. But we're still alive. All five of us.

I think I see a castle up ahead. This has to be the place Twilight's bringing us to. It's almost time. I sharpened some fire wood into a stake while we were walking and hid it in my mane, the second she shows her fangs I'm putting it through her chest. This will all be over soon... I hope you've enjoyed this adventure Mr. Journal, it's about time to finish it. I'll try to write one last time before we're there. I'm going for it. For all my friends in Ponyville, for all my friends here, and for all the parties in Equestria, I won't lose!

Twilight's Secret (Alternate Ending)

It's not so bad. I mean, at first I was scared but then... It was just kinda relaxing. We beat meany Nightmare Moon and then we saw Celestia come back. Oh yeah, um we beat Nightmare Moon with these... uhh... Glowing earrings? No, no that wasn't it. Sorry, Last night is kinda hazy. But I'm happy to be out in the sun ready to party again... Just as soon as this hangover lets up. Let me tell you Mr. Journal, if this is what Alcohol does to you, I'm never going near it again. I don't know what I was so afraid of, something about blood? And I mean, why was that? I mean, that sounds SUPER yummy right now, why was I so scared of it last night? Wait... I remember something else. OH YEAH! Princess Celestia came over to us after we beat Nightmare Moon and said "You have done well my little ponies." and Twilight was all ":twilightblush:". Then Princess Celestia said "Stand together now, you are the new berrs barrorz ponies who get to use the elements of harmony. I will gift you with the ability to protect Equestria from disharmony for all time." and then we all got in a line and when the Princess got to me she sort of leaned her head down next to mine. I remember a poke, and then... nothing. But now we're here in the library! My headache is going away now, so I'll be heading back to Sugarcube Corner soon. I better try to break it to Gummy lightly. He'd be so jealous if he found out I have sharp teeth now and he still doesn't. Well Mr. Journal I'd like to keep writing, but my tummy started rumbling. I gotta go fill it up, see you when I get back!

-Pinkie pie

Dashie's Secret (Part 1)

Well, today's a scary day for me Mr. Journal. Dashie has to go away! She's going to the Wonderbolts academy and she's going to gone all week! ONE. WHOLE. WEEK. WITHOUT. DASHIE. I mean, what if something happens and we never knew about it? What if she forgets about all of us and makes super mean new Pegasus friends up there? What if she fails her flight tests and is sent away to be sacrificed to make rainbows!? What if somepony turns her into a filly and tries to brainwash her!? What if a crazy pony tries to turn her into cupcakes!? Wait... That's just silly. But still! What if she forgets about her friends here in Ponyville? I can't just let her LEAVE without any way to remember about us!

This calls for a "Goodbye for a week and give her so much to remember she'll never forget in a million years" party! Let's get going Mr. Journal, that party's not gonna throw itself!

The Party was fun. I guess. I miss Dashie. She's been gone for what, two hours now? I need to calm down. Rainbow wouldn't want us to be moping just 'cause she's gone, she'd want us to make things better than ever to make up for it! Hold on Mr. Journal, Scootaloo just ran in. I don't think she's enjoying this week so far. Give me a minute to check on her.

Poor Scootaloo. She's taking Rainbow leaving really hard. She's all down in the dumps and is so bored she's watching the water dry on the windowsill. THE WATER. At least paint has color, do SOMETHING Scootaloo! I think I see the other crusaders coming. They probably want milkshakes, they always do. Hold on Mr. Journal, I'm gonna go do some cheering up!

I'm back. Scootaloo seems to be a little better now that she's with the other crusaders... But I think I heard them say "Cutie Mark Crusaders Alicorn Vampire Hunters! Yeah!"... I wonder what they're up to?

Oh well, it's none of my beeswax, and Granny Pie says that worrying too much about little fillies is silly. OOO, that rhymes! Maybe Granny Pie should have put it in a book somewhere... Oh wait, I'm doing it now! Silly, silly, Pinkie!

I know I shouldn't. I know it's wrong. But I miss her too much already! I "borrowed" Twilight's Pegasus shoes for when she needs to walk on clouds without her magic (hey, I'm gonna give 'em right back!), and now I'm outside Dashie's house. I'm just gonna go in to remind myself of her and then walk right back out. That isn't so bad, is it Mr. Journal? Well, here I go...

Trixie(?)'s Secret (Part 1)

There was no denying it. This was the worst week in the great and powerful Trixie's life. Five days had passed since she had fled Ponyville, five days without her cart and supplies, and five days since she had been thoroughly embarrassed by Twilight Sparkle.

But more importantly, five days without anything to eat. TGaP Trixie was exhausted from galloping out of that hick town and was beginning to show signs of starvation.

Every step was a chore, and the sun's hot rays bearing down on her back did not help. Trixie would rather have the storm that had plagued the sky all day yesterday than the burning orb above her; at least she didn't have to worry about dehydration during a storm.

Trixie looked behind herself once again, her tired eyes and emaciated features once again burning with spite for the town that had done this to her, despite her obviously weary body.

"Humph!" the mare said to herself aloud. "Trixie comes to town to show a few ungrateful mares and stallions a good time and what does she get? Two idiotic colts ruining everything and a mare who destroys her career!" Trixie tried to put as much malice as she could into her voice, but her lack of nourishment caused her to sound more exhausted than ever.

"Trixie just came into town to see... her... but now... Trixie will have no more! No more to do with that town! Trixie shall not return until she can defeat Twilight Sparkle!" with that, the blue mare gave a smile, her own massive ego restoring her vitality.

Moving slowly but carefully, Trixie picked a few apricots off a tree she happened to come across along the path.

"...But before she can punish Sparkle, she must eat."

Dashie's Secret (Part 2)

Cloud houses are amazing Mr. Journal! They're so squishy and plushy but they don't break open even if you jump really hard! I gotta see if Twilight can give me wings like she did for Rarity, I didn't know there was so much up here!

'Shy and Dashie are so lucky! I wish I could fly too! I mean, think of the possibilities!

I could go everywhere super-fast, meet new friends in the clouds and have parties in the sky! IN. THE. SKY! And I'd go up to my friends and I'd be all "Surprise! It's Pinkie Pie"!

Dashie's house is amazing! I wish she invited me to visit more... Oh wait. She didn't invite me this time.

Stupid, stupid Pinkie Pie! You told Mr. Journal you were just gonna look around to remember Dashie and you played around her house!

I'm just gonna check out Dashie's room and then I'm leaving. I Pinkie promise this time.

This... Is unexpected. I'm in Dashie's room.

And there are... THINGS sitting all over the place. They're all metal looking and make weird beeps and flash all kinds of colors. I... Don't know what this is. Her bed is the only normal thing in the room, and even it has black stains all over the sheets. I expected something more... Wonderboltsy? The only thing I even see about the Wonderbolts is a little photo of Spitfire on the nightstand.

Hold on... there's something sticking out of the drawer...

Proto-D45}-{  Functions inconclusive. Insufficient data to judge efficiency. Model likely defective. To be reprogrammed/scrapped.

What? That sounds like... OMIGOSH. MR. JOURNAL. Do you realize what this means!?

Look! D45}-{ almost looks like Dash! Mr. Journal, do you think?

But she wouldn't be...

She COULDN'T be...

But all the little machines...

There has to be more than just this... I'm gonna make sure.

The stains on the bed... I just checked. They're oil.

What kind of pony would be handling oil in their bed?

Nopony would.

But Dashie did? No, for you see, Mr. Journal, I have concluded that Rainbow Dash is in fact, not a pony.

She is.

Secretly.

A ROBOT!

Trixie(?)'s Secret (Part 2)

Another day without a cart. The Rainfall just added to the pain.

All this time, food was hard to come by. It wasn't like Trixie needed much, but it still pained her to deny her stomach.

The family of rock farmers had been kind enough to let her spend a night in the room of their now-adult daughter. But they were now two days behind her, and their hospitality only gave her more self-loathing at the pity she had received.

Tears now welled in the eyes of the not-so-great and pitiful Trixie. Everything had now been taken from her; Her cart, her livelihood, her dignity, and soon her hope as well. Obscured by the rain, Trixie's tears streamed down her face, not caring if she did come across anypony else.

Sadness soon boiled into rage at the memory of the mare that had done this to her.

"Sparkle." Trixie spat. "Trixie's through with games. She's through with running. She's coming back to Ponyville. And she'll make you regret ever ruining her!"

At that, Trixie turned in the direction she had avoided for weeks now. She could see the silhouettes of towns in the distance, aglow with the light of lanterns in the heavy downpour. She knew what that direction would hold. She had trained constantly for it. And she was ready for it.

"Let's see how you like it for a change."

Dashie(?)'s Secret (Part 3)

I'm sorry for breaking my Pinkie promise Mr. Journal, I'll be sure to give myself a big punishment later, but I can't just leave. I have to get evidence. I need to know how I can prove that Dashie is a mecha-mare. Let's think about this rationally(1). What have we got so far Mr. Journal?

The D45}-{ paper

The stained bed sheets

A machine off the floor (not sure what it does).

And the memos that were on the desk.

I didn't read you the memos yet did I? You better be glad that you don't have a brain, because if you did, this paper would make it explode. Twice.

(The date has been thoroughly rubbed out)

I find myself assigned to a small, primarily earth pony village. It is called "Ponyville". Why the superiors sent me here I will never know, there appears to be little of interest for my assignment. Nevertheless, I will not complain. The task of lead weathermare is a bit beneath my abilities, but it will do as a cover. To take additional precaution, they have suggested I assume an alias. I agree with this. If I reveal any truth about myself, I place our entire operation at risk of discovery. So, until further notice, I will assume the name "Rainbow Dash". I assume they based the name off my prismatic mane and flight ability. I must leave, if my cover is to work I must blend in with the common pony of this town. It has been a while since the factory, and I need more experience with interacting with ponies to continue my facade.

(The name at the bottom is rubbed out)

What does it mean? Dashie was lying to us the whole time? She's been lying to all of us since the moment we met? I'm not sure I want to know...

I've gotta leave now, if I have Twilight's enchanted shoes out any longer she'll start looking for them, and when Twilight starts looking for something you can kiss your plot goodbye, she'll hunt it to the ends of Equestria! I'll write again as soon as I can, I gotta find out more about Dashie whoever this really is.

Trixie(?)'s Secret (Part 3)

"Read 'em and weep boys, Trixie's got you beat," the smug mare said to the four dumbstruck stallions before her as she spread out four aces along with a jack of spades.

"Well Flam... Looks like we're out of luck."

"Seems like it Flim." The two unicorns mumbled to one another

"Cup is going to murder me..." the earth pony said to himself as he took another gulp of cider.

"Not yeah..." the muscular pegasus sulked, his tiny wings falling to his sides in shame.

"Oh don't cry, really, do you think you stood a chance against The great and powerful Trixie?" the blue mare said as she pulled the stack of chips toward her, a smirk spread across her face. Coming into the casino with fifteen bits and walking out with two-hundred eighty-seven was quite the lucky break for Trixie.

The small crowd that had gathered dissipated as Trixie exchanged her chips and left the building, carrying her small fortune with her.

Trixie was quite happy with her recent victory. Being laughed offstage time after time had begun to wear on her nerves, and the feeling of finally being the winner again came as a euphoric wave.

Trixie sat in her new cart, organizing everything for her return to Ponyville.

"Soon. Oh so soon." She would whisper to herself every night. Finally she had paid off the new cart. Finally she had everything she needed, and the anticipation was making her giddy.

"And Trixie believes she have some business to attend to," Trixie thought aloud, trotting to her makeshift training ground outside the cart. It wasn't much, just a bucking bag(*) filled with sand and a few stones arranged in a row. Trixie refused to be outdone by Twilight again and had been studying and training in all of her free time. Sure, she could have just bought a magic trinket (an obsidian and blood ruby amulet in particular caught her eye), especially with her recent fortune, but that would be the easy way out, the foals way out. The great and powerful Trixie was no foal. So for hours each night she practiced countless techniques, studying and training, each and every skill honed to perfection.

Trixie exhausted herself, pulling off each trick with unparalleled skill, she began her final session. First simple shattering rocks, advancing to moving complex formations withe the remnants, and eventually moving to teleportation. That cursed teleportation. Such a simple effect, point a to point b, but it was so exhausting, so energy consuming that she had considered giving up on it. No. She couldn't accept that. Twilight Sparkle could teleport almost effortlessly from her experience, so she would have to as well.

"Trixie had only upstaged a few of your friends, she didn't call the Ursa, she didn't leave anypony with anything that would pain them more than a few hours, and suddenly she's the laughing stock of Equestria. Twilight... The day you're out of Trixie's head is the day Trixie finally gets a good night's rest!" She ranted as she practiced the technique over and over again, each time her horn burning from the magical stress.

"Time for Trixie to show you who's really the best!"

Dashie(?)'s Secret (Part 4)

Plans to spy on investigate Dashie:

Use elements to become an Alicorn.

Stow away in Derpy's mailbag.

Call cousin Surprise for help.

Become a bloodsucking horror again.

Go up with a "Care package".

It took me a while Mr. Journal, but I finally got a way to  check on Dashie. We go up to give her a package, and I'll put one of those super secret cameras in it so I can see what she's up to! That's legal, right?

Okay, hold on, just gotta find a way up there -

*********************

It's no use... Mr. Journal, I tried my flying bike, my party cannon, and even drank four full helium cans! I just can't get up there! What're we gonna do!? What if Rainbot-Dashie is after somepony? What if she's after them right now? What if she's secretly an evil space cyborg pony from the future bent on the subjugation of all ponykind beneath the metallic hooves of the robot overlords!? (1)

I'm too young to be brainwashed by robots!

Gotta think of something, come on! Gummy, do you have any ideas? Oh you're just looking out the windo-

THAT'S IT! Look Mr. Journal, look!

...Oh yeah you don't have eyes, sorry. It's Twilight's balloon! That's how we can...

What do you mean "Deus Ex Machina?", Gummy, there's no crane here!

Anyway, if I can trick Twilight I can get up there and make sure if Dashie's up to something! It's the perfect plan!(2)

Twilight's Secret (Part 2)

Okay Mr. Journal, I think I can write now. The big meany Vampony is taking us deep into the Everfree forest, and I finally recognized the mares she tricked into following her from town.

Applejack, makes sense, she lives on a farm, and any place that could make wooden stakes she'd probably want gone fast. Oh yeah! Applejack runs Sweet Apple Acres, but I'll have to tell you about her later, I gotta get the rest down NOW!

Next is Fluttershy, probably because of that "Stare" of hers. I hear Vamponys can make you hypnotized with their stare, but I don't think even a Vampony could stand up to Fluttershy's Eyeballs. They're just so... Dissappointed. Plus, with all the little animals she takes care of, that mean old Vamp would have enough blood to last for months! I gotta make sure to keep her away from 'Shy, or who knows how long she'll be around!

Then comes Rarity, she runs the fashion store boutique in Ponyville. Don't really know why they brought her, she always acts so uptight. I don't even know how they convinced her to come into a place like the Forest. Probably hypnotized her... I'm gonna make that monster pay for hurting so many ponies!

The last one is the weathermare, Rainbow Dash. I don't think she needed convincing or hypnotizing, she probably just heard something about an adventure in the Everfree and tagged along for the excitement. I can tell already she's going to get more than enough.

It looks like we've started going deeper again, I'll try to write in you again soon Mr. Journal. I know I sound sooooo boring right now, but I can't afford to let anypony get turned into a vampony's juice box if I can stop it! I'm going to stop this blood-sucker, beat Nightmare Moon, and get good old Princess Celestia back, I just need help... I gotta catch up. They're leaving me behind, I can't lose them now. Not after figuring out what that Twilight really is. Stay safe in my mane for now Mr. Journal, it's poofy enough to hide in. I'll be sure to get you out again as soon as I can. I think I hear a river, be careful not to fall in!

Twilight's Secret (Final Part)

Mr. Journal, we're gonna do it. We're gonna live. The castle is only about two hundred feet away now. I got my stake ready, and I see the gate just ahead. 185. We're all walking pretty slowly now. 175. Twilight's looking around for... Something. 160. We're speeding up. I gotta calm down, I only have one shot at this. 140. There's some big weird looking thing in the castle. 110. I'm starting to sweat. 80. We're galloping now. 55. Gotta focus. 30. This is it. 0. We're here. I'm putting you up for now Mr. Journal. I'll write again when the deed is done.

Silly silly Pinkie Pie! How could you think Twilight's bad? Mr. Journal you're never gonna believe it! Big mean old Nightmare Moon showed up and was all "HaHa! The elements are gone!" and then Twilight was like "No Way! The elements are made of Friendship!" and then we all started glowing! We got these super shiny necklaces but then Twilight was like "Where's the sixth one?" and Ol' Moony said "You don't have all the elements! I win!" and she laughed some more. Twilight started saying that friendship is magic and all her friends were giving her more magic than ever and a big shiny crown thingy showed up out of nowhere and we all started floating! And Nightmare Moon was like "OH NO!" and we made a HUGE RAINBOW LASER! It was so amazing Mr. Journal! Just like the one I saw when I got my cutie mark!

And then Princess Celestia comes back and we're like "YAY!" and then what happened next will blow your mind. Princess Celestia walks over to where Nightmare Moon was and looked at this little mare and she was all "Luna, I am your sister." and I was thinking "NO! That's not true! That's Impossible!" and we all saw her get up and say "I'm sorry" and we all cried the happy cry. Twilight tried to help us so much... I guess I shouldn't have doubted somepony so easily. I'll have to throw her a "Sorry I thought you were an ageless blood sucker of the night" party-OH NO! I never finished my Summer sun festival party! I gotta get back fast if I wanna get it done before the parade! Hope you had fun Mr. Journal, I've gotta go NOW!

-Pinkie Pie

I hope she's alright... (Interlude 2)

Oh hello Mr. Author. I see you and Mr. DarthFlame were off hiding on the other story all day yesterday and you didn't bother to work on mine. That's okay. I found other ways to eat while you were gone.

So anyways Mr. Reader, while Mr. Author was off being rude to me yesterday I found out that if you suck your own blood as a vampony you turn back to normal! I wonder why nopony ever tried that before? Oh well, I gotta go back, "Official Story" Pinkie Pie is getting anxious after being off for over a chapter. See ya in the next special ending!

Alrighty Mr. Reader, I'm finally back! Other me was fine and all for a chapter, but we all know that too many Pinkie Pies is never a good thing. I remember a story about that, but that's not what we're here for.

Just a little reminder of the things to come, Next up is Dashie's secret, and Mr. Author kinda had a hard time deciding on it, but he's finally ready to start. Mr. Author also says that anypo- sorry, he said you use anybody who wants to suggest the next super secret to be revealed just needs to give a comment.

Mr. Reader, thank you for staying for so long, it's been fun so far and If I can make you laugh it's all worth it!

Huh? Oh, hi Ms. Heartstrings! Oh, I know you like to be called Lyra, I just got into the whole "Mr. and Ms." Habit from Mr. Author. Who's Mr. Author? Oh he's... well he's not here now... But here's Mr. Reader! That's kinda like Mr. Author! Huh? Lyra? Uh-oh.

Err... You'll have to excuse me Mr. Reader, when Lyra looked at you she kinda went big-eyed and got a goofy smile and then fell over on the floor. I'm gonna take her to the doctor now, but I'll be back in time for the next chapter!

Bye-Bye! C'mon Gummy, let's go get Ms. Heartstrings some help!

Another one!? Really!? (Interlude 3)

Ha HA! Be amazed foals! For this story is now under new control! The foolish escapades of a psychotic pink mare and her friends silly secrets are no match for the amazing, the one and only, the GREAT and POWERFUL NEW NARRATOR! This pitiful story is is now Trixie's domain! Hahahahaha! Behold Trixie's magic as she forces the author to write ten new chapters dedicated to the glory of Trixie!

Yes, Trixie is now the one calling the shots! No longer shall you be forced to read the dull journals of a sugar-addicted party lover, for Trixie shall provide so much more than that!

Behold Trixie's magic and weep foals! Weep before the unquestionable domination Trixie now holds in your lives! Trixie can feel it now! The magic is coursing through her every vein! There shall be no more foalish jumping to conclusions, no silly toothless alligators biting on manes, no contemptible story arcs about Twilight Sparkle!

The power! The Beauty! The skill! Truly none can compare to the majesty of the GREAT and POWERFUL TRRRRRRRIXIE!

Who's the better of us now Twilight Sparkle?

Now, to begin...

Author Boy! Make Trixie an Alicorn! Give her a body that is fit for her magic and glory!

Behold foals! This is Trixie's moment of triumph!

I KNOW YOU'RE REAL NOW! (Interlude 4)

Okayokayokay... uhmmm... heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee! I can't believe I'm talking to real, live humans! Okay... Uh... My name is Heartstrings. Lyra Heartstrings, but everypony just calls me Lyra. So... I gotta KNOW! What is your world like? How do you walk on just your hind limbs? How does magic work in your world? IS there magic in your world? Who controls the sun in your world? Is Celestia in control of both our suns? And most important of all... What's it like to have HANDS!? They're like tiny bodies with little limbs of their own! And they pick things up and, and, and they're AMAZING! *Pant* Please tell me!

...Did I frighten you? Wait... can you even talk back?

NOOOOOO! I WAS SO CLOSE TO FINDING OUT ABOUT HUMANS! I EVEN TALKED WITH THEM AND I STILL COULDN'T DO IT!

No. I'm not giving up. Now I know you're real. I have proof. And I won't quit until I have the answers!

Heeheheahahahahuhuhhahha!

Wowie Mr. Reader, Who was THAT nut? I just saw a crazy mare in a cloak screaming about how she'll "Never give up searching for the answers, HAHAHAHAH!" I better find Lyra fast, It'd be dangerous to let her wander with somepony like that on the loose.

So anyway, Mr. Author and I were talking (1) and we decided on this. Mr. Awesomebronypony gets to pick the next secret! SHHHHH!!! Keep your voice down! The last thing we need is for everypony in Ponyville to know about my friends secrets. You all on the other hand, can't talk back to them, so it's fine for you. So who'll it be? Rares? 'Shy? AJ? Pinki- Wait I'M Pinkie... NO! Don't ask for my secret! It's too embarrassing! I mean, uh... I don't have any secrets. I'm an open book, just like Mr. Journal. No need to look into my secrets, because they aren't real, okay?

Okie dokie lokie Mr. Reader! Hope you enjoy things so fa--

THRRRRRRRMMMMMM...

That's the sound I just heard! It came from the library! Sorry Mr. Reader, I gotta make sure everypony's okay!