Derpy's Story

by UnidentifiedFlyinPegasus

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Dinky Hooves, Fluttershy, Random, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Doctor Whooves, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1259

Derpy has written a story. An amazing, wonderful, bestest-story-in-the-wholest-widest-world. But who will read it?

When Dinky suggests that Derpy write a story, Derpy readily responds to the challenge. However, the real challenge is finding somepony to read the story. Join Derpy on a wacky adventure through PonyVille.

Published 2013-04-30 00:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-30 00:00:01 UTC

Derp.

"How many muffins would you like today, Derpy?" Mrs. Cake asked kindly.

"Uh... um..." Derpy squinted at the price list. "Two teen," she said after a minute or two.

"You mean twelve?" Said Mrs. Cake.

"Nope." Said Derpy. "Two teen."

"All right," she said. "A dozen it is." She set to work putting the muffins in a box.

"Thank you!" Said Derpy, taking the box of muffins. "Here's one teen bits!"

She left a confused Mrs. Cake behind and left the sweet shop.

"Dinky!" Derpy called as soon as she was in the kitchen of their home. "I...GOT...MUFFINS!!"

Dinky was downstairs before you could say muffins.

"Yay!" She exclaimed as Derpy opened the box. "Are they muffin flavored?"

"I hope so." Said Derpy. She took one out and took a bite, munching inquisitively. "Yup!" She said. "Definitely muffin flavored!"

"Double yay!" Dinky grinned and grabbed a muffin.

They both devoured the muffins happily.

"So Dinky," Derpy said through a mouthful of muffin. "I was thinking maybe I should left a book."

"You mean write a book?" Dinky asked.

"Oh, yeah." Derpy said. "Right a book."

"You should!" Dinky grinned. "You would write the bestest book in the wholest widest world!"

"Okay!" Derpy sat down at her desk. "I should get started write away if this is gonna be the bestest book ever!" She sat there, thinking of what to write. One hour later, she had the most amazing idea.

"I know exactly what to right!" And so she wrote. She smiled and looked at her amazing beginning: Once upon a time...

"It's so original!" she said to herself.

Derpy had to think for another two hours before she came up with the rest of the story, but when she was done, she said that it was the bestest story in the wholest widest world.

"Dinky!" Derpy said. "Come read what I righted!"

Dinky came downstairs and read the story. It took her nearly half an hour, but when she was done reading, she exclaimed that it was the bestest story in the wholest widest world.

"You should go show it to all of your friends!" Dinky said.

"You're write!" Derpy grinned. "I'll go show it to Rainbow Dash first!"

Derpy flew out the door (bonking her head a few times on the wall first) to begin her search for Rainbow Dash. "Hm..." Derpy thought aloud. "She's a pegasus pony... she loves to fly... and she likes the outdoors." Derpy thought hard for a minute. "Maybe she's at the sweet shop!"

Derpy trotted down the street to the sweet shop. "Hi Mrs. Cake!" She waved at the shop owner.

"Back so soon?" Mrs. Cake said. "Was something wrong with your muffins?"

"Nope!" Said Derpy. "They were muffin flavored! Is Rainbow Dash here?"

"No." Mrs. Cake said, glancing around her sweet shop. Except for Derpy and herself, the shop was empty.

"Ok!" Derpy said. "Can I have three muffins to go?"

"Of course!" Mrs. Cake said happily. "Anything for my best customer!" She dropped three muffins into a bag and Derpy handed over a few bits.

"Good afternoon!" Derpy called behind her as she left the shop.

"It's morning." Mrs. Cake muttered.

Derpy put her story in the bag and gleefully chomped on her muffins while lazily flapping her wings. She crashed into a tree headfirst and fell to the ground, leaving her muffin bag hooked on a branch.

"Noooo!" She cried. "My muffins!" She stared up at the high branch; how would she ever get her precious muffins back?

Derpy leaped up as high as she could, but she could not reach the bag of muffins. She tried again and again, not wanting to give up.

"Um, excuse me, Derpy, I hope I'm not interrupting."

Derpy turned to see Fluttershy. "What?" Derpy asked.

"Well um... I saw you jumping up to get the bag, and um, aren't you a pegasus pony?"

Derpy flapped her wings. "Oh... right." She flew up and grabbed her muffins. "Thanks Shyflutter!"

"It's Fluttershy." she murmured quietly.

Derpy flew up into the clouds, intent on finding the perfect place to relax and eat her muffins. She had just found a large fluffy cloud when she spotted Rainbow Dash darting around below her, and she remembered why she had gone out in the first place.

"Rainbow Dash!" Derpy cried, waving a hoof. "Hai!"

Rainbow Dash whirled around and skidded to a stop. "Oh, hi Derpy."

"I wrote a story!" Derpy called. "Do you wanna read it?"

Rainbow Dash thought for a moment. "Does it have action in it?"

"No!"

"Adventure?"

"No!"

"Epicness?"

"No!"

"Naw, I got better things to do." And with that, she flew away.

"Okay." Derpy said sadly. A thought occurred to her. "Maybe Doctor Whooves will read it!" She flew down from her cloud and dived towards the ground. Only problem is, she forgot to pull out of her dive and ended up crashing on the concrete.

"I just don't know what went wrong." She muttered, dazed.

"Hello!" Said a light gray stallion with short dark hair. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah." Derpy said, sitting up.

"Er... what's wrong with your eyes?" The stallion asked.

"Nothing." Derpy replied. "They're always like this. Who're you?"

"I'm the doctor." He replied. "Some ponies call me Doctor Whooves."

Derpy laughed. "You're not Doctor Whooves. Doctor Whooves has brown-"

"Stop!" The doctor cried. Noticing her confused expression, he winked. "Wouldn't want any spoilers on my next regeneration, now would I?"

Derpy was still confused. Then again, she was always confused.

The doctor sighed. "Long story short, I'm the same doctor, it's just that I am from one of his past regenerations. I'm a time traveler, it's sort of-" He was interrupted by the sound of a large explosion coming from downtown PonyVille. "Complicated." He said. The stallion ran off in the direction of the explosion.

Derpy stared after him for a little while before she picked up her bag of muffins and trotted off.

"Maybe Sparkle Twilight will read it." Derpy said. "She loves reading." She headed over to the library.

"Heloooooo?" Derpy said, sticking her head through the door. "Anypony home?"

"Hi Derpy!" Twilight said. "Come on in!"

Derpy tried to pull her head out, but it wouldn't budge. She was stuck! Derpy pulled and tugged but her head wouldn't come loose!

"Um, Twilight?" Derpy said. "I think I'm stuck."

Twilight sighed. "Oh, Derpy. How do you manage to get your head stuck in everything?"

"I dunno." Said Derpy, trying to pull her head out again.

"Why don't you try pushing?" Twilight said.

Derpy pushed, and the door swung open. "Oh."

"What can I help you with?" Twilight asked, smiling.

"I righted a story." Derpy said proudly. "Do you wanna read it?"

"Sure!" Twilight said.

Derpy reached into her bag and grabbed the first thing her hoof touched. She held it out to Twilight.

"Um... Derpy, that's a muffin."

"Oops." Derpy took a bite out of the muffin and put it back in the bag. She reached in one more time and pulled out a single piece of paper.

Twilight took it and read the story out loud. "Once upon a time, there was a pegasus named..." she stared at the paper for a second. "Dirpy. Dirpy ate a muffin. It was muffin flavored. The end." Twilight looked up at Derpy. "You spelled your name wrong."

Derpy grinned. "Isn't it the bestest story ever?"

"It's certainly... unique." Twilight said. "Are you gonna publish it?"

"No." Derpy answered. "I'm gonna go buy another muffin."

The End