Spike's curse

by firestripe

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Dark, Comedy
Length: 6550

Spike has very very very very very very very very very very very very very very ver very very verrrrry bad luck. Nuff said

After an innocent day off from working, Spike receives the worst of luck the very next day. Can spike break the curse or will he get eaten by Micheal Jackson….Find out in "Spike's Curse"

P.S No baby dragons were harmed during the writing of this FiMfic. Fluttershy was shot and some cannibals ate Rainbow Dash, But no baby dragons were hurt.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-06 09:00:02 UTC

Part two

The next day it was back to the old grind. Spike moaned. It had been yet another tough day of cleaning, Scrubbing and sorting in the tree-house. Spike had finally finished his slave work and was famished, So he went down to the kitchen to get something to eat. He opened up all the cabinets and the fridge, Yet all he could find was a full bottle of Applejack Daniels, a few crackers, two eggs and one slice of stale bread. Spike sighed. Maybe Twilight had something to eat.

Suddenly Twilight staggered into the room. Her hair was a netted mess and her eyes were red from lack of sleep. She walked over to the cabinet  nearest to spike and grabbed a small glass cup. Then she walked over to the bottle of Applejack Daniels and poured her self a drink.

"Wheres the ice?" Twilight asked

"Ummmm...I don't know," Said Spike worry in his voice, knowing how angry Twilight sometimes got when something interfered with her drinking

"Well fuck!" Twilight said raising her voice

And with that Twilight drank the glass of of hard whiskey in two gulps.

Spikes stomach suddenly growled reminding him why he was in the kitchen.

"Sooooo....Twilight whats for dinner?" Spike asked hopefully

"I don't give a shit with a side of shut the fuck up," Twilight replied, her words slurred

This took Spike by surprise, Occasionally Spike would hear Twilight curse, But never towards anypony. What also took Spike by surprise was the fact that Twilight was drinking such hard alcohol. Spike was used to Twilight drinking a glass of wine every so often, But never whiskey. Ever since Celesta had Twilight working on wiener enhancing spells, Twilight had been getting less and less sleep, So Spike shrugged the behavior off, It was probably just stress making Twilight act out of character.

Twilight then took the freshly opened bottle of Applejack Daniels, Took a long swig from the bottle and stumbled off back to her library, The whiskey still in her hoof.

Spike sighed. He then toasted the stale bread and fried an egg. After eating he still was not satisfied, But he feared Twilight would get angry if she found out he ate all the food in the cabinets. So he made a mentle note to himself to make a food run in the morning using the extra bits he had earned from unclogging Rarity's toilet.

It was just a little past eight when spike snuggled up in his bed. His body was tired from a day of physical labor but he just couldn't get to sleep no matter how much he tossed and turned. So he just lay there thinking about his life.

It was almost ten o clock and Spike was just starting to drift off to slumber. Just as he was about to enter the dream world he was snapped awake by a familliar voice.

"Spiiike, you awake?" Spike heard Twilight ask, She sounded drunk.

Spike opened his eyes to see a wasted Twilight at the foot of his bed, Looking crappier then ever.

"Yeah Twilight, What do you need?' Spike asked nervously

Right after Spikes reply Twilight got onto the bed and on top of Spike, Pinning him down.

"You ready for a....fun night?" Twilight asked on top of spike. The smell of stale alcohol in her breath.

"NO...please no!" Spike pleaded

Twilight opened her mouth and brought her face closes to Spike's, Then suddenly without warning Twilight vomited all over Spike's face. Spike screamed. His face covered in the contents of Twilight's Stomach. Then round two came, As Spike screamed Twilight vomited some more inside Spike's wide open mouth.

Spike forced himself free spitting and coughing up Twilight's tummy juice out of his mouth. The taste and smell of Twilight's Vomit was so revolting, Spike started to feel his dinner come up as well. Then in one swift movement Spike threw up over the bed, His vomit splashing all over the floor he had just polished hours ago. Every time Spike would throw up a mouthful of vomit his muscles would tense up so much he would let a turd out his ass as well.

After Spike's stomach (and gallbladder) where completely empty, He rolled off the bed and onto the floor, landing in his own vomit. Spike stood up, He was completely covered in his and Twilight's stomach contents. He saw Twilight doubled over on the bed that was coated in vomit. The pile of shit he had produced was not more then two feet away from twilight.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Spike yelled, Anger, confusion and hurt in his voice.

Spike could feel his eye's start to tear up.

"That was....That was, Kinky" Replied Twilight to drunk out of her mind to comprehend what just happened.

All of a sudden Twilight's Head and eyes swayed from side to side. Twilight Fainted on the bed, Her head landing right on Spike's pile of shit.

Part three

Spike was disgusted. How could Twilight do something like that!? Enraged, Spike walked over to twilight, Who was passed out, her head resting in Spike's poo poo. He picked her head up, Opened her mouth, and slammed her head back into the poop face first.

"Stupid good-for-nothing Bitch," Spike said to himself, trying to calm himself down.

Spike then walked into the bathroom to take a shower. The vomit was starting to dry up in his scales, so he hopped into the tub as fast as he could.  He turned on the faucet, suddenly a spray of ice cold water hit spike like a slap to the face. Spike was stunned by the water, but as soon as he regained his senses, he shut the water off. He looked at the heat setting the faucet was set to. Strangely the faucet was set to the highest setting. Confused, Spike turned the water back on. To his surprise he was greeted by the same feeling of ice cold water.

"What the fruit roll ups??!" Spike said frustrated.

No one had taken a shower in the tree house today, So the hot water couldn't be gone...and besides, It was a magical faucet that never ran out of hot water. The water that had hit Spike was starting to mix with the dry vomit, Resulting in a moist mud-like texture, That slowly tarted to drip off one scale to the next. The muddy vomit from his forehead started to drip onto his lower lip. Spike then began to viciously wipe away vomit from his face and lips, Splattering it in every direction of the tub.

Spike has had it. He was still mostly covered in Twilight's vomit and he couldn't stand it. He had come to conclusion that if the shower was gunna be a meanie, He would just have to deal with it. He couldn't stand being covered in the putrid vomit, which was now starting to smell worse then ever. Spike stood still in the tub for another moment. He closed his eye's and mentally prepared him self for the ice cold shower. Without further stalling Spike counted to three in his head, As soon as he reached three he lunged for the faucet and turned it on. The water sprayed out for a third time, and to Spike's surprise the water was no longer icy-cold....It was searing frikin hot! Spike yelled out in pain and made a quick lunge to turn off the faucet, But it wouldn't budge. The water continued to spew out, burning every inch of his tiny body. Spike jumped out of the tub onto the hard floor of the bathroom. And one split second later the water just...stopped.

Spike stood up, His scales still burning. His eye's started to twitch and his hand's turned to fists. Everything went red in Spike's eye's. Rage boiled inside Spike's blood, and without thinking he ran up to the bathroom mirror and punched it as hard as he could. The force of his fist on the glass was so much that the mirror shattered, sending glass straight to Spike's face and into his eye's.

Spike fell to the floor in pain. His face and eye's bleeding.

Slowly and painfully Spike pulled out each and every shard of glass from his face. When Spike thought the glass was all cleared up from his face he grabbed a towel that was neatly folded on top of the counter below the shattered mirror. He scrubbed the towel across his face to soak up the blood. Little did Spike know that there were still plenty of shards lodged on his face, and as he moved the towel across his face, it would drag the shards through his skin leaving large open cut's.

To make matter's worse, the vomit started to ooze into the cut's and it burned like heck. The burning sensation was even worse then the one in his butthole after Twilight decides to make Mexican food. But that's another story.

Spike used the towel to clean up some vomit left over on his body. After he was fairly clean he threw the towel on the bathroom floor and stomped out back into the bedroom. As he expected twilight was still face-planted in his pile of dougie.

Spike sighed. Now more then anything he just wanted to go to sleep. He didn't dare sleep in his own bed nor Twilight's  considering the current state of his bed and the fact that Twilight has a condition called "Wet sleep diarrhea", also the fact its been almost a month since twilight had cleaned her bed/sheets. Spike had the suspicion that she was waiting for him to tend to her bed, But Spike put up with enough of her shit and he didn't need it to get literal. So Spike just never cleaned her bed. Simple as that.

Spike crawled up on the couch down stairs and curled up into a ball. Sometime during his bathroom mishap it had begun to rain. Spike listened to the steady pitter-patter noise. The thought had accoured to him that the chain of events may have something to do with the chant the pony had said the day before. But Spike just brushed off the thought and went to sleep.

Just kidding. Spikes not that stupid. After the thought had accoured to him Spike decided to look for a book in the library that may shed some light on the situation. After all, Twilight did have the most books on magic, curses and spells in all of Ponyville. So Spike got to work looking. It was going to be a long ass night.

Part four baby!

It was 11:15 at night and Spike had begun his search for a book containing the answer  to what the old pony had said to him.

It was a long night! (Since my bed time is in ten minutes im going to skip the acourances that happend over the night and just fast forward eight and a half hours.)

*fast forward noise* Spike had FINALLY found what he was looking for, "The sexy book of curses and spells". Spike was so happy to had finally found the book that he ran over to a corner of the library and searched for the chant he had heard. The library was trashed. Derpy lay on the middle of the floor of the library, her neck snapped. Half the library was covered in a green flame and dog shit littered the floor. Spike had a feeling that he the bad luck he had been having was not just coincidental, Not to mention the terrible line of event's that had happened in the library, but he had been smoking  his "special leaves" again, so everything seemed normal to him for the time being. Twilight was so drunk the night before that Spike was not surprised she had not awaken through all of the noise, and he didn't expect to see her up until at least noon.

Spike flipped through the pages. He didn't feel like feel like reading the entire book to find what he was looking for, so he just used his Pinkie sense to guide him to the right page of the book. Dont ask.

Spike read the passage on the page. It read: "This chant bad luck curse you silly filly. The only way to get rid of it is through two hours of uninterrupted work."

Spike lol'ed. All he had to do was work uninterrupted for a couple hours and the curse would be lifted?! He does that almost every day--How hard could it be?! Spike thought about lifting the curse cleaning the trashed library, but he needed  change of pace from cleaning the treehouse, so Spike decided to go help Applejack out down at Sweat apple acres. It was only 6:45 in the morning but Spike had a feeling the Apple family was already up working the fields. Before Spike left he remembered he needed to make a food run, so grabbed 15 bits he had been saving and decided to go shopping when his curse was lifted.

It had stopped raining and the morning sun begn to peek its way through the remaining clouds. Spike chuckled to himself. On his way to the Apple barn place, Spike remembered where he had heard the curse before. A few months ago a unicorn named Trixie came to Ponyville to put on a show. Twilight and her friends decided to be complete and total douche bags and boo Trixie out of town for trying to put on a good show. Before the Trixie had a chance to leave town, Twilight made sure to chant the curse to her so her luck would be total shit. Spike thought he heard Trixie mention she broke the curse at Pinkie's dad's rock farm, But he also didn't really care and thought that Trixie could suck a big throbbie robbie.

Suddenly spike thought's where interrupted when a large rock came flying towards Spike! Spike tried to dodge but it ended up hitting him square in the eye anyways. Spike fell to the ground in pain. After the world stopped shaking Spike got up and looked at his reflection in a near by window. Where the rock had hit him Spike saw a big red swollen eye. In frustration Spike turned around and yelled.

"WHO THE HELMET THREW THAT??!" Spike shouted. To his surprise no one else was on the street at this time. Then Spike remembered his curse.

"Oh yeah" Spike said glumly to himself"

Spike being the little bastard he is, picked up the rock and threw it at the window he used to check his reflection. But to his surprise the rock bounced right off and hit spike in his nuts. Spike fell to the ground holding his crotch. The pain was one of the worst he had ever felt in the years of being alive. After about five minutes, Spike stood up still in pain, and began to slowly make his way to up Sweat apple acres again.

By the time Spike had arrived to Sweat apple acres, Spike spotted Apple jack and Big mac working the orchards as he suspected. Spike walked over to Applejack, Temporarily forgetting the pain he was in.

"Hey Applejack" Spike yelled when he was about ten yards away from the orange pony.

"Why Howdy Spike!" Exclaimed Applejack "What's gotten you out of bed so early, I know your'e not one for the early start"

Spike cringed at the thought of why he was out of his bed so early, But he decided to keep that to himself, Knowing he would have to confront Twilight on it when he returned to the tree-house. Spike didn't really know if it was the curse that made Twilight act the way she had the night before, Or if it was just drunk twilight at her best. Spike kept in mind.

"Oh you know," Spike began, but had decided to cut to the chase of why he was really there "I was just wondering if you needed any help,"

"Well that's mighty kind of yuh," Said apple jack "Weve got so much that's gotta be done, that we could use all the help that we could get!"

Spike smiled in satisfaction "Great, where do I start?"

Apple jack listed a laundry list of thing's he could help with. At one point Spike thought he heard her mention the black eye he had, but he just zoned out and replied with a  "Uh huh"

After hearing what needed to be done, Spike got started on his two hours of "Uninterrupted work", But the truth was he couldn't go ten minutes before some random bullshit interrupted his labor. For example when he was washing the pigs, They would act normal for the most part, but every time Spike would turn his back they would straight up attack him and then roll in the mud again undoing all Spike's hard work. When he got to planting seeds, every time he finished patting them into the ground, a gang of Crows would unearth the seed's and eat them. And when Spike would try to shoo them off, they would all gang up and peck the crap out of Spike with there beaks, and scratch him up with there claws.

It was noon time at Sweat apple acres and Spike was trying  his best to split some wood with an ax (what could go wrong?). Just as Spike was going to attempt to split a log in half, He heard Applejack's stinky voice.

Hey Spike can I talk to you?" asked Applejack standing about ten feet away.

Spike put down the ax and approached Applejack. He was bloody with scrapes and cuts, covered in mud and splinters and his eye was now throbbing uncontrollably.

Applejack cleared her mannish throat.

"Listen sugar cube, I appreciate you wanting to help and all...but I just don't think this line of work is right for you,"  Said Applejack noticing the Still dirty pigs, Un-chopped wood, Un-planted seeds and Un-bucked apples, All of which  job's Applejack had given him so far.

"And dosen't Twilight need your help or something?" Asked Applejack

Spike had forgotten all about her for the last five hours and figured that if she was awake, She would probably have a pounding hangover and not remember the night before.

"Oh yeah, She probably need me now," Spike lied. He was pooped from all the hard work, and extremely frustrated from getting beat up so much.

"Okay well you best get to her... and hey thanks again for the help" Said Applejack. Trying hard to hide the sarcasm in her voice.

Spike sat down at a bench at Ponyville's farmer's market. As he sat he felt something Gooey  under his ass, But he didn't even care. After the epic fail of trying to break the curse at Sweat apple acres, Spike realized that breaking the curse would be a lot harder then he had anticipated. Before Spike arrived at the market he cleaned him self off at the lake, Pulling out all the splinters and washing off the blood. The now-cleaned cuts and punctures were barely noticeable now, but his throbbing black eye was looking worse then ever.

Spike began to think out a new plan, then he saw her. The most beautiful pony in Ponyville, Rarity, Sniffing roses at a rose stand. Spike's heart fluttered and quickly got up to greet her. That's when he found out that he had been sitting on what looked and smelled like vomit. A green pile of mush with orange chunk's was all over Spike's behind.

"Son of a bitch!" Spike said as he looked for something, anything to wipe the vomit off.

He noticed a paper towel on the ground and he made a dash to go pick it up. Just as Spike was bending over to pick up the paper towel, he heard his name being called.

"Spike, honey," Rarity called after noticing Spike. Spike dropped the paper towel and spun around hoping Rarity didn't see the green mush on his butt.

"Oh uh...Hi Rarity!" Spike said blushing

Rarity gasped.

"What ever happened to your eye?" Rarity asked, Lightly placing her hoof under Spike's blackened eye.

"Oh uh...I ran into a door-nob," Answered Spike, Even though it was unnecessary to lie.

"Oh well, does Twilight know of this?" Asked Rarity

"Um yeah of coarse, She's working on a spell to heal it as we speak," Answered Spike

"Oh well I guess there's no reason to panic after all,"  Said Rarity, A light smile forming on her face.

"Say Spike, If your not busy today do you think you could help me out with a few things back at the shop?" Asked Rarity

At this point Spike was so hypnotized by Rarity's good looks, that he had forgotten all about the curse and agreed to help.

"Great!" Exclaimed rarity giving Spike a hug.

For the next half hour or so Rarity bought some gems and fabrics. (Even though those thing aren't in usual farmer's markets, they are in Ponyville, ok?). On the walk back to Rarity's shop, Spike had realized the mistake he had made. With the bad luck he had on him he could do something terrible, ruining his chances with Rarity, Or worse put Rarity in danger! Spike began to plead in his head that everything would turn out fine. Rarity on the other hand couldn't help to notice the green splotch on Spike's ass. But she just shrugged it off as a bad case of diarrhea, and tried not to look at it.

As the two neared the shop where Rarity apparently lived, Spike got more and more nervous. What had Spike gotten himself into?!

Part five

Rarity walked through the door of her boutique with Spike nervously trailing behind. The two then walked into the kitchen, where Rarity  put the bags of fabrics and gems which she had been carrying with the magic of her horn on the kitchen table.

Spike expected Rarity to ask for help in modeling, Or some other crap that had to do with dresses, But Rarity said asked for something a million times worse then any horrific task Spike could imagine.

"Spike my dear, I spent so much time working on these new dresses I've just couldn't find the time for house work. Do you think you could clean up this kitchen? I mean I could even pay you," Rarity said

Before Spike's small brain could think it through his stupid mouth spewed the words "No problem Rarity, And it will be free of charge of coarse!"

Rarity squealed in delight, and kissed Spike on the cheek.

"I knew I could Count on you" Said rarity, Picking her bag's up and leaving spike to clean the kitchen.

"Stupid stupid stupid," Spike said to him self, hitting his forehead every time he said the word stupid.

If Spike had a bad luck curse lingering on him what a better place show it off then inside of Rarity's kitchen!  Full of crystal glasses, silver silverware, Valuable plates and diamond encrusted platters. On top of that there were ton's of knives and sharp utensil's all around the room. What splendid things to have handy while you're cursed with bad luck!

Spike took a big breath in and let it out.

"Okay Spike you can do this" Spike said to himself. If he was careful and moved slow, even with a curse he could get this done with out consequences. And who knows, maybe he might be able to lift the curse if he cleans Rarity's kitchen uninterrupted!

Spike carefully brought out the cleaning supply's and went to work. He slowly and carefully scrubbed the kitchen clean for about forty-five minutes. Then he began to get exited. Picking up the pace, though still being careful, Spike cleaned, washed, and scrubbed the rest of the kitchen.

When Spike was done he stood back to examine the sparkling dishes, polished counter tops and spotless floor. Spike had outdone himself and no sign of bad luck either! There was no clock in the kitchen so Spike did not know if the curse had been lifted, But it sure felt like over two hours to Spike!

Spike decided to test his luck. He went over to the clean dishes, and picked a crystal shot-glass that had to be worth hundreds of dollars. He took a deep breath in, and executed a little trick that he liked to do during Rainbow Dash's crazy party's.

He threw the shot glass three feet into the air, and caught it with his tail on its way down. Then Spike flicked his tail slightly, flinging the glass right on top of his head. The glass balanced perfectly. Then he perked his head up, sending the glass up two inches and Spike caught it with his foot just as it was about to hit the floor.

Spike picked up the glass and set it back into the clean dishes. There was NO WAY he could do something like that with a bad luck curse! Spike was just about to do his happy dance, when Rarity walked into the room and gasped.

"Oh my Spike, you...you did such a magnificent job! You really out did yourself!" Rarity said in awe  of the work Spike had done.

"Aww, It was nothing" Said Spike beginning to blush.

"Oh but it wasn't nothing," Rarity said as she pulled out her wallet.

"No need to pay me," Said  Spike waving his hand.

"Is there anything else you might need help with?" Asked Spike

"Oh no you've done more then enough my dear," said Rarity

"No really I want to do more" Spike said reassuringly

"Well if you insist, there is one thing" Rarity said, signalling for Spike to follow her upstairs.

Spike was not being extra generous because he was a nice guy , It was partly because he wasn't ready to go home and confront Twilight just yet, Partly because he wanted to  test his luck further, and partly that he was hoping he could help Rarity with something extra special, *wink wink*.

Rarity lead Spike into the bathroom. Spike was starting to get increasingly excited, but he was disappointed to find that Rarity just wanted him to clean the bathroom.

"Now dear are you sure you want to do this?" Asked Rarity

"Of coarse, Always happy to help," Said Spikey Wickey

And with a grateful smile Rarity said

"Oh alright" And left the bathroom.

Spike sighed. He picked up a rag and was about to wipe the piss off the toilet seat, when something caught his attention. Laying right by the shower was a hamper full of clothes, Not just any clothes, Dirty clothes. This assured Spike that his luck had finally changed! He walked right over to the hamper and stuck his hand in. The pile was warm. He dug around some more until he found the jackpot. Dirty underwear. He flipped it around scanning it side to side and he noticed a brown splotch by the crotch area. A twisted smile came to Spike's face, and without hesitation he crammed the panties right on his nose taking a long sniff. Then he licked the crusty stain, savoring the taste. He rubbed the underwear all over his face, and he was loving it.

Just then Sweetie belle barged into the room, carrying a tray of iced tea.

"Rarity wanted me to give you some ice cold," Sweetie belle began, but what she saw made her drop the tray, shattering the glass cups and spilling the contents. Sweetie Belle stood in horror as she saw Spike, who was also frozen and in terror, shoving a pair of bundled up panties in his mouth.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PANTIES?!" Sweetie Belle yelled her voice cracking.

"I wasn't doing anything, I swear!" Spike said throwing the panties to the floor.

"RARITY" Sweetie Belle yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Nononononono" said Spike beginning to freak out.

A concerned Rarity then barged into the room.

"What ever is going on in here?" Rarity asked looking at the broken glass on the floor.

"Rarity! You have to believe me, Spike was eating my unmentionables!" Exclaimed Sweetie Belle

"No I-I wasn't! I was clea-"  Spike was cut off by an enraged Rarity

"You did WHAT!?" Yelled Rarity picking Spike up three feet off the floor with her magic.

"Its true, I saw it with my own two eyes! Remarked Sweetie Belle.

"Not another word," Said Rarity disgusted.

Then, still levitating Spike with her magic, she walked downstairs, to the front door. At the front door Rarity picked Spike up higher, until he was at least four feet off the ground.

"Now listen you perv! If you ever so much as come 50 feet away from me or my sister again, THEN ILL CUT YOUR EYE'S OUT AND SERVE IT IN A MARTINI GLASS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?" Boomed Rarity in her most angry tone.

Spike shook his head up and down signaling "yes".

"Good" said Rarity disgusted.

Then using her magic, she flung Spike at least fifty feet away. On impact to the ground, Spike bounced twice before skidding five feet to a complete stop. Spike heard a door slam in the distance. The world was spinning and he had tears in his eyes. When he regained controll of his body, he got up and slowly began to walk the direction towards the tree-house, Not bothering to dust himself off.

It was nearing 5:30 in the afternoon and the sun was starting to dip down into the sky, leaving an eerie orange light in its trail.

"I'm scum, I'm trash" Spike said to himself, a tear rolling down his face.

Spike didn't think the curse was responsible for what just happened. The only one to blame for what happened was him self.

And now after all that, everything he had been through, he had to confront Twilight on what had happened.

Before he could bring him self to the tree-house, Spike walked into the grocery store and did a little shopping. When he went to the front to pay, the clerk looked at the baby dragon funny, Mainly because of how beat up he was.

Before Spike left the store he made sure to blow his green fire into the magazine stand sitting in front of the store. The flames engulfed the magazines in a second, but Spike didn't care, he just casually walked out of the store like a boss.

The time had come. Spike stood in front of the tree-house. It was time to face Twilight. Spike lifted the welcome-mat to take the spare key he usually used to get of the tree-house. But to Spike's surprise, There was no key. Spike had enough bullshit for one day. He pounded on the door three times. After waiting about three seconds and getting no response, Spike pounded on the door five times as hard as his little hands could.

"TWILIGHT OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, WE NEED TO TALK!" Yelled Spike as he pounded the door.

This time Spike was acknowledged, not at the door, but at the small circular window to the upper-right of the front door.

Twilight poked he head out of the window. Her mane looked shittier then ever, her eyes were red, and brown crust  clung to her face, And Spike knew exactly what the brown crust was.

"You have a lot of of nerve coming around these parts mister," Said Twilight, disgust in her voice

Spike couldn't tell if Twilight was drunk or not, but he didn't care.

"Twilight open the darn door we need to talk!" Yelled Spike. His emotions were now beginning to get the better of him.

"Oh you wanna talk?! Lets talk about how you took advantage of me last night!" Said Twilight

Spike was taken back by the accusation.

"The fuck are you smoking?! You almost took advantage of ME last night!"

"That's why I woke up in YOUR bed?" Said Twilight not believing a word that came out of Spike's mouth.

"YOUR THE ONE WHO DRAGGED YOUR SAGGY PUSS IN MY BED YOU SCRUB!" Said Spike enraged.

"YEAH, AND I SUPPOSE YOUR GEM ENCRUSTED SHIT JUST APPEARED THERE? YOU HAVE SOME NASTY FETISHES MISTER!" Said Twilight

"YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU AND BURN IN A DUTCH-OVEN, YOU HACK! Yelled Spike while fighting back his own tears.

Twilight laughed.

"I don't ever want to see your ugly ass around here anymore," Said Twilight said with a twisted smile of delight forming on her face.

And with that, Twilight spit a giant lugie out the window. It landed right on Spike's swollen eye.

Spike lifted his left hand, and wiped the saliva and mucus wad away from his face. Enraged and Hurt, Spike picked up the groceries he had just bought, and threw them as hard as he could against the tree-house door, Splattering a new dozen of eggs on impact with the door.

With tears rolling down Spike's battered face, He ran the opposite direction without looking back. Spike wasn't running anywhere inparticular, He just ran as fast as his small legs could take him. Spike didn't stop running no matter how tired he was starting to get. Tears ran down his face as horrible and sinister thoughts creeped into his mind. Images of him burning down Ponyville, Killing Rarity, And committing suicide all ran through his head at once as he ran through the darkening streets of the town.

Spike's mind and legs only stopped when he felt his toes being crammed and he tripped. Spike sat up with the taste of fresh blood in his mouth. A large rock stuck out of the ground and he must have tripped over it. Instead of standing back up, Spike just sat there and began to sob. After about two minutes of sobbing Spike stopped to the sight of a familiar face. The happy-go-luck pink earth-pony that went by the name Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie put a hoof on Spike's shoulder.

"There there Spike, Everything will be alright," Said Pinkie trying to comfort the baby dragon.

Then before Spike could react, Pinkie plucked Spike up and put him on her back. Then she trotted up the steps to "The sugar cube corner" Where spike had crashed in front of.

Pinkie plopped Spike on a chair on one of the tables, and grabbed a seat directly across from Spike. There was just silence for the first forty-five seconds, until Pinkie broke the silence.

"You know, talking about it always makes me feel alot better when im feeling sad," said Pinkie with almost an exited tone in her voice. Spike took a deep breath. He just didn't care about anything anymore not to mention himself. So he took a deep breath and told Pinkie EVERYTHING that had happened in the last twenty three and a half hours, In graphic detail. When Spike finished talking, he was enraged by the fact that Pinkie was smiling at him,  as if she found enjoyment in his misery.

"Why the fu-...Why are you smiling at me?" said Spike trying to keep the little cool he had left inside his tattered body.

"Beacouse I know just what to do to make you feel ALLLLLL better," said Pinkie with extreme emphasis on her "all".

Pinkie stood up and trotted to the kitchen. Moments later, she returned with a red velvet cupcake, (Spike's favorite), and a huge smile spanning across her face. Pinkie handed Spike the cupcake. As Spike held the cupcake in his palm, It had been the first time that anypony had genuinely made him smile in what seemed to be forever.

"Thanks Pinkie" Said Spike gratefully, realizing it would be the first of any food he had had today.

And for that sweet moment, All of Spike's worries evaporated and he forgot all the events of the long day.

"Oh sure thing Spike, I was going to give you the cupcake tomorrow anyways,"  Said an overly enthusiastic Pinkie.

"What do you mean?" Asked Spike

"Oh your number came up silly!" Said Pinkie

Spike sat there puzzled at what Pinkie was telling him. But he just brushed it off as "Pinkie being Pinkie" and took a bite of the cupcake. Spike took a bite of the cupcake. As he swallowed his vision began to blur, and the last Spike saw before blacking out was the enthusiastic smile of Pinkie who was enthusiastic for the "activities" she had planned for later.

                                                                              The end.

Part one

As usual, It was a bright and sunny day in the Crystal Empire. Birds chirped under the midday sun and Crystal pony's  everywhere sang happy tune's. Today was Spike's day off from working for Twilight, And what better way to spend his day off then a day at the Crystal Empire?

Spike laughed as he ran through the hallways and corridors of the Crystal Castle. He was running from a new "friend" he had met in a dark alley way. He had thought the two were playing a game of chase, But the truth was that  the old earth-pony chasing spike was actually a dragon molester, Though Spike was to stupid to see that.

"You cant catch me," Spike teased as he ran through the castle away from the old pony.

Little did Spike know, but the teasing was actually just turning the old pony on even more.

"Oh, I betcha I can!" yelled the old pony with a sick smile.

The chasing had went on for hours, and by the time Spike had figured out what was going on, Spike was forced into a brutal fight to the death with the molester who knew kung fu. The fight lasted over an hour. But that's another story.

Anyways, Spike was sitting at a curb in front of the "Crystal Castle" trying to catch  his breath while covered in blood, ash, tar and grape jelly, From the fight he had just had. As Spike sat at the curb thinking about the epic battle , something bothered him. Something that scared him.

The chase brought him all over the crystal  empire, and the fight was at a "Toys R us" parking lot.  Right as Spike was about to do the most epic finishing move of all time Using: Barbed wire, a cement mixer, Industry standard explosives, an M-16 and his own two fists, The near defeated pony yelled a chant to Spike. The chant was in a different language Spike didn't understand....But he thought that he had heard the chant before. He just couldn't quite put his finger on it. Anyway's Spike went on to do his finishing move, (As stated before it was the most epic finishing blow of all time) And he walked away from the scene like a boss. A massive explosion behind him as he walked in slow motion.

Now Spike was sitting on the curb. He knew he had heard the chant being used before. Some sort of curse. But nothing came to mind.

The sky was starting to get dark and Spike got aboard a train for home. As he sat in the train, the final words of the old pony kept hitting him up like when Pinkie Pie would kick his nuts. Where has he heard the  chant before?