Cranky Doodle Daddy

Derpy peeked her little grey head underneath the couch letting her mane hang down her face. She tried her best not to wake up the five sleeping fillies. They tossed and turned to try to get into a comfortable position. Nopony would have ever guessed that six innocent little ponies could make such a mess. Trails of dirty hoof prints covered the newly waxed floors along with the splinters from the broken tables and chairs. A cold draft comes into the house through the broken window.

“Do you see her?” Cranky asked as he checked inside the trashcan full of dirty diapers. He wished that Matilda would return from the grocery store to lend him a hoof or better yet, that he didn’t offer to help the wall eyed mare at all.

“Nope!” Derpy said hitting her head off of the couch.

“What are you good for anyway?” He asked. He turned around and kicked the trash can in frustration.

“I can blow bubbles with my spit. That could be useful.” Derpy said looking behind the curtain. Crank narrowed his tired eyes at Derpy Hooves.

“For nothing.” He grumbled as he checked underneath the piano.

“I’ll do my best to help you.” Derpy said.

“I think you’ve helped quite enough. Why did you ask for my help in the first place?” He asked.

“I’m not supposed to tell you. It’s a secret.” Derpy whispered.

“A secret? What kind of a secret?” He asked.

“Matilda said I’m not supposed to tell you.” Derpy said.

“Tell me what?” He asked raising his voice.

“That Matilda wants a foal.” Derpy blurted out. The room went dead quiet. Derpy covered her mouth with her hoof. Cranky’s eyes widened.

“What?” He asked.

“She said she has been trying to give you hints that she always wanted a foal for years. She was afraid to ask. Now she thinks it’s too late and she wants to adopt one. This was all a test to see if you would be a good father.”Derpy said. The thought of Matilda being unhappy never crossed his mind. For most of his life he was more concerned with his own problems. It disturbed Cranky that she was more comfortable talking to the wall eyed mare than her own husband.

“The spell was only supposed to be casted on Pinkie. I accidentally made Twilight mess up and she turned them all into fillies.” Derpy continued.

“So you asked for help and then lied to me? Is that the thanks I get? My love life isn’t any of your business.” He asked stomping his hoof on the ground so hard that he woke up the fillies. The frightened fillies wailed in despair. Rainbow Dash rubbed her sleepy eyes with her hooves. Pinkie Pies lip quivered. Rarity sobs loudly. Twilight covers her ears with her hooves. Applejack covers her eyes with her oversized hat.

“I’m sorry.” Derpy whimpered.

“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” He shouted.

Derpy’s ears drooped down. Derpy threw her mailbag over her shoulder and sadly walked out the door. Derpy sat on a rock all by herself. The rain made all of the mail in the bag get soggy. The pouring rain washed away her tears. She suddenly feels something squirming in her mailbag. Derpy shook Fluttershy out of the sack. She covered her face with her wing. Derpy lifted Fluttershy up and flew in a circle gleefully.

“I founded you!” Derpy said wrapping her front legs around her. Fluttershy giggled. “I better go tell Cranky that you’re okay.” Derpy said.

Cranky wandered around the house half cleaning half trying to find Fluttershy. He heard Matilda come into the house.

“I’m sorry I’m late. How was your day, honey?” She asked pretending to be unaware of the situation.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you wanted a foal?” He asked numbly. He didn’t even turn around to look at her. He just looked inside the cabinets for Fluttershy.

“I didn’t know if you were ready to be a father. I thought that maybe you would want one after you saw how cute they were.” She said.

“What’s wrong with what we have now? We don’t need a foal.” He grumbled.

“But she needs us.” Matilda said.

“She? You have one already picked out? When was I supposed to find out about this?” He asked coldly.

“I was going to tell you. Her name is Scootaloo. I’m sure she won’t be as much of a hoof full as si newborn fillies. Rainbow Dash told me she doesn’t have a family a few weeks ago. I just wanted her so badly.” Matilda pleaded.

“We’re too old to be looking after some snot nosed foal.” He snapped.

“Forget it! You’re too heartless to be a father.” She yelled choking back tears. Matilda charged up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door shut. He heard a knock on the door.

“What do you want?” Cranky groaned.

“I found Fluttershy.” Derpy said. Her drenched mane covered her grinning face.

“Whoopty doo!” He said snatching Fluttershy out of her hooves. “Now go away!” He said slamming the door in her face. He put Fluttershy down beside the other fillies. Before he could go back to cleaning the house, Pinkie hugged his front leg and smiled at him.

“Oh, no you don’t.” He said putting her back on the couch. Pinkie Pie pouted. He took the hat off of Applejack’s head while she was asleep. He covered Pinkie’ eyes and played Peekaboo. Pinkie Pie giggled. He began to change his mind about Scootaloo. He galloped out the door.

The clock struck midnight and Twilight and her friends returned to their original age.

“Ugh! What happened?” Rainbow Dash moaned.

“Where are we?” Twilght said putting her hoof on her aching head.

“Hey, look! Rarity is suckin’ on her hoof!” Applejack chuckled. Rarity quickly took her hoof out of her mouth. She tried to hide her embarrassment.

“I certainly was not sucking my hoof!” Rarity said trying to look sophisticated.

“What are we doing at Cranky’s house? Are we having a party?” Pinkie said.

“We’re in Cranky’s house? I hope he doesn’t mind.” Fluttershy said timidly.

“Spike must be worried sick about us.” Twilight added.

“Yeah. We better git goin’.” Applejack said putting her hat back on and walking out the door.

“Derpy! Wait!” He shouted to Derpy. Derpy turned around and landed on the ground.

“What?” Derpy asked.

“Could you go to get Scootaloo for me while I watch the fillies?” He asked. Derpy nods and flies up into the air. She disappears into a sea of rain clouds.

“Scoots, wake up!” Derpy said nudging Scootaloo.

“What happened?” Scootaloo said.

“You’re going to meet your new mommy and daddy.” Derpy said.

“Really?” She said leaping into the air. “I can’t wait to tell Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo cheered as she followed Derpy to Cranky’s cottage.

“I’m so nervous. What if they don’t like me?” Scootaloo asked standing in front of the porch.

“Your new mommy is very nice. Your new daddy might need a little time to get used to you.” Derpy replied.

Scootaloo hesitantly knocked on the door.

“Come in! Hurry!” Cranky said opening the door.

“Who keeps knocking on that door?” Matilda asked as she trotted down the stairs.

“Hi, mommy.”Scootaloo said.

“Oh! She’s so beautiful. Is she coming to stay with us?” She said. Cranky nodded happily.

“This is nice and all, but does your house always look like this?” Scootaloo asked.

Cranky and Matilda laughed in unison.

“That was sort of my fault. Sorry!” Derpy said.

“Thank you so much, Derpy! Good night!” Cranky said. Derpy waved goodbye and flew back to Cloudsdale.

“I wish I could fly like that!” Scootaloo said.

“Someday we’ll teach you how to fly. Maybe you’ll even be a Wonderbolt like Rainbow Dash.” Cranky said. Scootaloo flapped her wings cheerfully.

“Do you really think so?” She asked.

“You could do anything you put your little mind to.” Matilda said patting her mane.

“What about getting my cutie mark?” She asked.

“You’ll get one one day. You’re lucky to be a Pegasus. Donkeys like me don’t get cutie marks. I still don’t know what my special talent is.” He said.

“I think yours would be for being a good daddy.” Scootaloo said putting her head on Cranky’s shoulder.