Pinkamena?

Chapter 6

Magical Mystery... Fail?

A rooster crowed nearby. My eyes cracked open, letting in the morning sunlight. Where was I?

“Come on, Pinkamena, we’ve got to go harvest apples!” a straight-haired Pinkie Pie yelled as she attempted to pull me off the bed. I say “attempt” because that’s all she did.

“What are you talking about? And where are we, Pinkie?” I struggled to ask, as Pinkie was currently tugging on my tail, quite painfully.

“We’re at Sweet Apple Acres, remember? You showed up here a few days ago, and ah agreed to let you stay here as long as you helped out!” Pinkie said through her mouthful of tail. It was then that I noticed her accent. Her painfully Southern accent. Why? Why Pinkie? Why is this world so cruel?

Okay, maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, but seriously, I don’t like Southern accents.

“What are you talking about?” I repeated, “We work at Sugarcube Corner, and that’s where we fell asleep last night!” I was beginning to get annoyed, mostly because my tail was hurting.

“What are you talking about? Are you getting from that amnesha-wahtsit again?” Pinkie let go of my tail and cocked her head at me, confused.

“It’s amnesia and it only removes memories. It can’t just recreate an entire few days out of nothing!” I said, getting more than a little annoyed.

“Well then, what’s your explanation?” Pinkie asked, probably a little more than annoyed at the fact that I was obviously right.

“I think that something happened to you to make your memories change, your cutie mark change, and your attitude change.” I said, full of confidence, noticing at the last second that her cutie mark was of apples.

“Well, your cutie mark is apples as well! How do you explain that?” Pinkie exclaimed, not even bothering to check if she was right. I knew I had her then, because my cutie mark was a trio of... wait, no, it’s still balloons.

“Well, I don’t really consider balloons the same thing as apples. Are you sure you’re alright? Didn’t eat any weird hallucinogenic plants lately?” I asked, obviously concerned. I just don’t look the same as normal ponies when I’m worried. It apparently looks patronizing.

“Grr...” Pinkie growled, for some reason angry at my concern. I was worried about her, why was she angry?

“You know, I don’t like growling. It makes you seem like a primitive animal.” I said, feigning a sophisticated attitude, complete with top hat, bow tie, monocle, tea, and crumpets. I had no idea where I got them, either.

“Rrrrr...” Pinkie’s eye twitched. I smiled. I was getting to her. Just make her explode, come on, you can do it!

I shook my head. I really shouldn’t listen to that voice. It doesn’t help me make good decisions.

“Well, Pinkie, I suppose we should be off, to, how would you put it? Buck apples?” I said, still maintaining my air of sophistication.

“Yeah. We should...” Pinkie grumbled under her breath, “Some ponies need the character building...”

“Who, me? I don’t have the foggiest idea as to what you’re talking about.” I grinned. Just make her a little angry, and you’ll laugh about it later when everything is back to normal.

That voice in my head just sounded so familiar I never stopped to question why it had suddenly appeared that morning.

“Argh! Why ain’t this working? It’s supposed to be my special talent!” Pinkie exclaimed, frustrated, as the thousandth batch of apples came falling down on her head.

I grinned again, “Maybe you should consider that my memories are the correct ones, and that yours are false.”

“Your memories don’ even make any sense. Ah mean, come on, me? Being a party animal?” Pinkie rolled her eyes. She also probably stressed her accent just to annoy me, “That just don’ fit with reality!”

“How do you know?” I asked, sure that my spectacular line of logic following this question would convince her.

“Because ah don’ act like that, and ah never will. Simple as that.” Pinkie replied, confidence filling her voice.

“Ah, but Pinkie, you haven’t experienced that life. Or, at least, you don’t perceive that you have. You see, raising somepony in a different environment, just by changing the smallest of variables, could result in a completely new pony. So, replacing your perceived childhood with the real one, it can be safely assumed that you would turn out differently.” I stated confidently, holding a bubble pipe, and wondering why I’m thinking like this all of a sudden.

Pinkie narrowed her eyes at me, “Ah don’t care. It ain’t gonna happen. That just ain’t the truth. And ain’t you supposed to be workin’?”

My smile disappeared, “Um... no?”

Looking over the rest of the orchard that needed harvesting, then comparing it to the amount me and Pinkie have finished, I figured out: “Pinkie, if we continue at this pace, we’ll finish today’s harvest by the end of next week.” I jumped down from the tree, and sauntered over to her with a grin, “I say we’re doing better than I expected.”

I took a closer look at her, “Pinkie, what’s wrong?”

She glared at me, then became gloomy again, “Me, you, everything! Ah don’ know why, but I just cain’t do it anymore. Ah just cain’t. Ah poured my entire life into this here farm, and now suddenly ah’m no good at it anymore. Ah... ah don’ know who I am anymore...”

My grin quickly faded. This wasn’t just some memory mishap. This was closer to psychological torture. And Pinkie was taking the brunt of it.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of banjos off in the distance. I notice Pinkie straightened up and listened to it.

Peering over to where the music was coming from, I saw Twilight and Spike looking confused.

Pinkie began to sing, “Ah don’ care much for pickin’ fruit, and plowin’ fields in such a hoot. No matter what ah try ah cannot fix this busted water chute! Ah’ve got so many chores to do it’s no fun being me. But it has to be my destiny, ‘cuz it’s what my cutie mark is tellin’ me.” While she sang, she performed a series of related activities.

Twilight and Spike’s eyes widened, and they ran off. I called for them to wait, but they didn’t listen.

The grey unicorn rose out of the shadows under one of the golden delicious trees.

“Hmm... it seems that the spell didn’t affect it. Well, that just makes it more interesting,” the unicorn cackled as she literally sank back into the shadows.

“We can do what we can now, for together we can be her guide!” Rarity sang to Applejack as she helped me and Pinkie around the farm. I noticed her cutie mark had changed to three diamond. Had this happened to all of them?

“A true, true friend helps a friend in need! A friend will be there to help them see. A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light, that shines from a true, true friend!” all of Pinkie’s friends sang, as an apple shaped amethyst, or other purple gem, mounted on a golden necklace was placed around Applejack’s throat. The results were fascinating. Too bad I probably won’t be able to study them,

“Yeehaw! Now that’s more like it! What’s next?” Applejack asked. I noticed that her personality seemed to change while she worked around the farm. Actually, now that I think about it, where were the other Apple family members this morning?

“The townspeople are furious, we need the old Pinkie Pie back!” Twilight said.

“I’m on it! I know just the thing!” and she began to sing, “The townspeople need you, they’ve been sad for a while. They march around, face a-frowned, and never seem to smile. And if you feel like helping we’d appreciate a laugh!” And she grabbed Pinkie and threw her up in front of the town with one of those mustache-and-glasses disguise thingies and a necklace with an orange balloon, “If you’d get up there and spread some cheer from here to Canterlot!”

Pinkie’s mane puffed back up, and she yelled, “Come on ponies, I wanna see you SMILE!”

The crowd immediately brightened up and responded with: “PINKIE!!”

The chorus of the song repeated, with the entire town joining in. Except for me, of course. I don’t like singing.

It was amazing what friendship could do in this world. Immediately after this thought, I thought another thought, which was so thoughtful, and full of thoughtiness, that I amazed even myself. My next thought was: Why did I think about it like I’m not from here?

And yes, I know thoughtiness isn’t a word.

The next thing I noticed was the entire gang rushing back to the library without me. I called after them, and they didn’t listen. Seriously, what is up with ponies and not listening? And why did I think that like I’m not one of them?

Sprinting at top speeds, I managed to get to the library just as Twilight put the final period on her spell. The resulting flash of energy blinded me for a second, and when I opened my eyes, a beautiful rainbow was speeding straight towards me. It’s beauty entranced me so well that I didn’t even notice it hit me.

My last thought before I surrendered to unconsciousness? Not again.

Author's Note

Oh no! What happened?

Well, you'll have to wait until next time to find out.