Pinkamena?

by randomfacts137

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Human
Length: 14387

Bleh bleh bleh. Other stuff.

A person ends up in Equestria, turned into Pinkamena, with their old memories replaced by the basic memories of a pony. They suffer from some odd occurrences and the distrust of the inhabitants of Ponyville. Meanwhile, a mysterious being works behind the scenes to influence Pinkamena's destiny.

The work that this is a crossover of has not yet been released to the public, as me and my friends are still ironing out the kinks.

Published 2013-04-30 18:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-28 06:31:26 UTC

Who am I?

Pinkamena?

Chapter 1

Who am I?

I walked towards my bed. Blue lights flickered all over the walls, but I did not notice them. I stumbled along, pretending to be exhausted, keeping up my disguise. I fell into bed and promptly fell asleep.

I felt wind blowing against my face. Groggily, I opened my eyes. Suddenly springing fully awake, I looked around and rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. My room wasn’t normally a light blue, nor did it have cloud patterns on the walls, and my bed was never this comfortable.

Looking down, I froze in panic at the sight before me. I was sleeping on a cloud! Clouds aren’t solid! As if waiting for me to realize I was doing the impossible, my body suddenly obeyed gravity.

My pupils dilated and my arms flailed about in my panic, but I still couldn’t break the deeply ingrained instinct to not make loud noises. Hyperventilating, I stared at the ground far below. Realizing there was no way panicking would solve anything, I slowed my flailing enough to observe my surroundings.

I was a few hundred feet above a large, untamed forest. To the north, I could see a large town, filled with ant-size silhouettes. Slowly increasing in size, a large ruin existed in a southerly direction.

As I fell, the air whipped past my face, causing my eyes to water.Through my blurred vision, I could tell that I would land just outside of the forbidding, dark, possibly dangerous forest. I couldn’t care less about this revelation, as I was falling at speeds that were sure to cause my death.

During my fall, I could feel something happening to my mind. It felt as if, as if something was being cut out of my brain. It hurt so much, but the burning sensation faded after a few seconds. What had that been? I wondered. Oh well, it doesn’t matter now.

My flailing slowed to a stop, and I closed my eyes, preparing to say hello to the solid rock below, and hoping it wouldn’t hurt too much. I was only a hundred feet above the ground now, and approaching faster than I could believe.

With my eyes closed, I could feel moisture on the inside of my eyelid. I knew what was going to happen to me, and I just gave up. Realizing there was nothing I could do, I let all of my muscles relax, and fell limp. I peeked and saw that I only had a few seconds before I hit the ground.

Instead of hearing the crunch I had anticipated, I heard a sproing and felt the air flow in the opposite direction. I opened my eyes again, and to my utter shock, I was bouncing back up. Defying the normal laws of physics, I only sprang up a few meters before landing back down on the ground.

Staring at my surroundings, I felt nothing. I was in shock. The sheer impossibility of my survival was the only thing I could think of. Then it dawned on me that I was alive, and letting out a small sigh of relief, I allowed a large grin to spread across my face.

Looking around, I estimated I was only a few miles from the large town I had seen nearby. I set off at a quick trot. I froze suddenly, realizing something. Frantically, I searched my memories for something. Finding nothing, I began to freak out. Somehow, during the fall, I had lost all my memory, and could only remember things like how to speak, or how to use my hooves.

My entire life, gone. Who had I been? Did I have a family? How did this happen to me? Why was I up in the clouds?

I scanned my entire body, looking for telltale signs of who I might have been. Nothing. There was no way to tell who I was.

I looked over myself again, this time to judge my appearance. I was a darkish pink mare, with a darker pink mane and tale, both of which hung like curtains. I looked at my cutie mark, and it was a trio of balloons, two blue, and one yellow.

I frowned. I couldn’t tell what it meant. I had no memory of getting it, and I couldn’t remember what it was for.

Wait, maybe I could find help in that town! Yeah, maybe they know who I am! Reinvigorated, I set off to the town again.

Trotting along, I noticed that the town seemed rather small. In fact, it was more like a village than a town. Hope began to fade as I realized that, while towns present a large chance of finding out who one pony was, a village did not have nearly as many ponies, and thus decreased my chances greatly.

I pushed through my doubt, still hoping against hope that they knew who I was.

Arriving at the town an hour later, I set off to search for something that might spark my memory. Passing through the village, I noticed several ponies looking at me. Some of them looked like they wanted to hug and comfort me. Others just looked confused at their friends’ reactions to my appearance. I must say I belonged in the latter group.

Several times I heard a pony call out the name ‘Pinkie Pie’. I slowed, listening for them to call again, but they never did.

After the seventh pony called out to this ‘Pinkie Pie’, I began to grow worried. What if none of them knew who I was? What would I do then?

I steeled myself and kept marching. There has to be something here. There just has to!

After passing through the large open area that was inevitably the market square, I began to grow disheartened. I had already searched half the town, and‒

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you there!” apologized a pink earth pony in a high pitched voice, “Hey, wait, you’re new in town right? I know you’re new because I know everypony and I mean everypony in Ponyville, but I don’t know you, so that means you’re not from here, and that must mean you must not have many friends here! Oh, I know how to get you some friends! I’ll throw you a party, and it’ll be so fun, we’ll play so many party games, and we’ll have cake and...” She said the last part in one breath, and continued to ramble on and on about the party.

I just stared dumbfounded at the other mare. I was too distracted by her appearance to take note of what she was saying. She looked so much like me it was disturbing. She had a pink coat, a darker pink mane, and a cutie mark of two blue balloons and one yellow balloon!

“Well, what do you think?” she asked. I just stared, dumbfounded, “Ugh... You weren’t listening, were you?” I just shook my head. “Wait, you look familiar...”

I brightened up at this and eagerly leaned forward.

“I got it! You’re me! This is such a great costume! Where’d you get it?” she asked excitedly.

I slumped back, disappointed. “Umm... I don’t think it’s a costume. I think, I-I don’t know who I am!” I cried out, hugging her. She stumbled back, surprised, “I don’t know who I am! I can’t remember anything!” I sobbed.

She comforted me by stroking my mane, “It’s okay, we’ll take you to see Twilight when you’re feeling better. She’s a super-smart-smartypants when it comes to everything. I bet she’ll have you better in no time!”

I smiled weakly. She was comforting me, a complete stranger who looked almost exactly like her, and she was willing to help me. “O-okay,” I sniffed, “I think I’m feeling better now.”

“Great!, Now let’s just get you over to Twilight’s! Oh, wait, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Pinkie Pie!” she grinned.

“Pinkie Pie? Oh, I heard a bunch of ponies shout out your name when I was passing by. I guess they thought I might have been you?”

“Maybe. C’mon, Twilight’s library is this way!”

Author's Note

I have a proofreader now! Yay!

The Bookworm

Pinkamena?

Chapter 2

The Bookworm

I hurried to keep up with the hyperactive pink mare, simultaneously trying not to draw too much attention to myself. “Wait up!” I called, hoping that she would slow down and stop drawing attention to us. I could feel the eyes of all the ponies nearby staring at us, all because of her antics.

I shook my head, clearing those thoughts from my mind. It’s just your paranoia speaking, Pinkamena, I silently thought, betraying no emotion past a rock solid exterior, not even bothering to wonder why I had retained memories of my mental status, No one is staring at you. Just stay calm.

“Come on silly! We need to meet all of my close friends, and they live all over town! After that I’m gonna need to introduce you to the Cakes!” she cried in her absurdly cheerful manner. I just went along with it, feeling more helpless than I could remember ever being. Despite the fact that my memory only went back a couple of hours, feeling more helpless than knowing you’re going to die, and being unable to do anything about, it is quite an achievement.

“First, we’re gonna go see Twilight! If anypony knows how to cure your amnesia, it’ll be her!” she proclaimed happily, bouncing along out of sheer happiness. I failed to understand how one could remain happy for so long, yet remain in touch with the rest of the world. She was just impossible to understand.

I sighed and followed her at a much more subdued pace, keeping my head down. I wasn’t happy about this situation, sure. I mean, who would be? I lost all of my personal memories, I had no home, no friends, no one to turn to, and I was in a strange place with a strange mare who looked nearly exactly like me! However, this same strange mare is helping me, a random pony she had never met before, to regain my lost memories. It was, odd, to be sure.

A thought suddenly struck me. What if she was actually trying to get me to lower my guard? What if she just wanted to kill me? I blinked and mentally scolded myself, That isn’t going to happen. What grudge would a pony like her have against a pony like me? And besides, even before she had found out I lost my memory, she had never looked at me with recognition. And she seems far too ...innocent, yes innocent, not stupid, to pull this kind of thing.

I looked up to see how much farther we had to go and gasped. Before me was one of the largest trees I had ever seen. Inside was carved a building, with doors and windows poking out in a seemingly unstable pattern. In fact, the whole thing looked about ready to fall over. A sign over the entrance proclaimed the building to be the “Golden Oaks Library”.

It sure didn’t look like any library I had seen before. Then again, what libraries had I seen before. None within memory, of course.

Pinkie gestured rapidly with her hoof, “Come on! This is Twilight’s place! I bet a super smart smartypants like her is sure to know the cure!”

I couldn’t help but smile at her excitement. It induced a feeling of pure euphoria. Almost as if it were her ...special talent. My eyes widened in shock as I realized that must be exactly what her cutie mark means! To make ponies happy!

Thinking quickly, I imagined an entire conversation that was probably never going to happen about Pinkie’s cutie mark, which ended with her agreeing with me. Smiling, I walked up to the library, stopping a few feet away from Pinkie as she knocked on the door. One can never be too careful. Unless you’re so careful that you’re paranoid, in which case …Wait I’m getting off topic.

The door opened, revealing a lavender unicorn with a bluish purple mane striped with pink and purple. Yes, that’s right, more purple. Although, I suppose I can’t complain, seeing as I’m all pink. This must be Twilight. Pinkie and Twilight had a nice long conversation that I paid absolutely no attention to. I was too busy staring at the tree.

Twilight turned to me and asked, “Do you mind if I take a look at you? Pinkie mentioned your condition, and I want to see if there’s anything I can do to help. It’ll only take a second.”

Thinking for a few seconds, carefully weighing the benefits against the disadvantages my brain made up. Formulating a response, I replied. “Alright, I don’t mind.” I mumbled.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Twilight questioned, confused.

“I said, it’s okay with me.” I said, speaking just within the ranges of hearing this time.

“Okay, let’s get started! Oh, I’m so excited! I’ll finally get to use one of those memory spells I could never test!” the overexcited unicorn squealed, “No one has ever lost their memory before, so I could never test it.”

Backing away from the library, being just a little creeped out by Twilight’s display of extreme joy. Pinkie noticed this and said, “Twilight! You’re scaring her!” After meeting me, Pinkie seems to have become a bit more somber than her hyperactive demeanor hinted at. This was a worrying development, as that might mean that my cutie mark was wrong. No, that’s ridiculous. It’s just the fact that you lost your memory that is changing her.

Twilight hurriedly calmed down, then quickly pushed me into the library, a grin a pure delight on her face. See? The fact that I lost my memory is making this mare happy. Wait, why am I even arguing this?

I was set down on a table, as Twilight looked through her entire library looking for the books she needed. Ending up with a stack of four or five books, she triumphantly returned to me. She began an examination, checking various magicky things that I couldn’t understand. Opening a book, she began reading. The title was The Art of the Mind and the author’s name was obscured by the edge of the table.

After a few moments, the unicorn looked back up at me and stated, “I’m going to need to look into your mind, just to see what is wrong with your memories.”

I just nodded and forced myself to relax. These are nice ponies. They are not going to knock you out and kill you. Pinkie was looking through various cookbooks. See, murderers don’t look through cookbooks, they … Oh wait, that wouldn’t be good.

Looking back up at Twilight, I noticed her horn was glowing and her eyes screwed up in concentration. Lowering her head, she touched her horn to my forehead. I felt a jolt go through my body and fell unconscious.

A dark figure watched from a distance, noting the magical glow surrounding the library that only one with enhanced senses could see. Another, smaller figure walked up to it.

The smaller one began to speak, its voice seemingly echoing through dimensions, “This one, my lady, is adapting quickly to the memory changes. Perhaps, when it returns, it will retain these memories.”

The larger figure grunted in annoyance, “Of course its adapting, that’s why we chose it. Soon, our plan will come to fruition, and this world will …But I digress. There is much for us to do, and so little time to accomplish it in.”

“Yes, my lady.” the smaller creature acknowledged.

The two walked off, slowly fading as though the wind was blowing them away. In seconds, they were gone.

I opened my eyes. The library was the same as when I had left it, with one notable exception. Pinkie was sitting in a corner, nervously eating cupcakes. When she saw us get up, she immediately cheered up, bouncing over to us. “Ohmygosh, I was sooo worried! You were like FLASH and then you were both like,” she slumped to the floor, making a thumping noise as she did so, “and then you didn’t move, and then I got worried, because you weren’t moving, and your eyes were close-mmph!” she ranted, only to end up having Twilight shove her hoof in Pinkie’s mouth.

I glanced at Twilight curiously, as the bookworm was wearing a worried expression on her face. She sighed, obviously hating to be the bearer of bad news. She looked at me and swallowed, “I’m sorry, but it appears that, instead of merely losing your memories, they were locked away by something more powerful than me, maybe even more powerful than the princess! I can’t imagine what, though.”

Disappointed, I looked at the ground, then smiled weakly, “Well at least you tried. And its not like I miss anything.” They both smiled at my comment, pleased that I could maintain at least some sense of humor in this situation.

“It doesn’t look like we can do anything, so why don’t we get started on getting you settled in. You might be here for a long time.” Twilight thought out loud, “And you don’t have anywhere to go, so we might as well.”

Pinkie turned to me, “Ooo, ooo! We can introduce her to all of our friends, and she can stay with me! I don’t mind sharing!” she offered.

“Well, if that’s okay with Pinkamena.” Turning to me, Twilight asked, “Is that alright with you?”

“Sounds nice.” I mumbled, just within the extreme range for equine hearing. Luckily, Twilight seemed to hear me.

“Well, let’s go!” Pinkie shouted, “We need to hurry if we’re gonna get Pinkamena’s party set up on time! Look, the day’s almost over!” And it was true, most of the day had gone by while Twilight had probed my mind.

Me and Twilight shared a glance and chuckled, the pink party pony’s antics getting a laugh out of us. Twilight shook her head and followed Pinkie, with me trailing behind.

Perhaps this place isn’t as bad as I thought.

Author's Note

Yay, next chapter. I finally thought out how the story is going to end! Huzzah!

Also, would someone want me to switch stories to a couple of others I have on the backburner?

I have one about the post-apocalypse, being narrated in third person limited for a robot, one about some guys who get trapped in a underground laboratory filled with zombies and other crazy stuff, and one about a robot who falls into Equestria through a rift in time and space.

Has anyone noticed that I seem to really like robots?

My Teeth?!

Pinkamena?

Chapter 3

My Teeth?!

“Okay, you can open your eyes!” Pinkie yelled.

My eyes opened and I blinked in astonishment. The ground floor of Sugarcube Corner had been completely transformed. Much of the furniture had been removed, replaced by punch and snack tables. There were balloons and streamers all over the place. A large banner hanging from the ceiling welcomed me to Ponyville.

My brain had finished taking all of this in when everypony yelled “SURPRISE!”

I jumped, startled by the loud noise, wondering why they had waited so long to yell surprise. Before I could ask, I suddenly realized that the streamers that had been thrown in the air the second I walked in were still fluttering down from the ceiling.

They hadn’t taken any time at all to yell surprise, my brain had processed everything within half of a second. This was further supported by the fact that nopony had noticed me being lost in deep thought.

Miming an expression of astonishment, I smiled. At this, all of the other partygoers noticed my uncanny resemblance to Pinkie. All heads turned back and forth from Pinkie to me, most of them gaping at the similarities.

Looks like Pinkie forgot to tell them something important, I thought, inwardly sighing, At least no one is―

“CHANGELINGS!” some idiot shouted, “THEY’RE GOING TO STEAL OUR LOVE!”

Groaning in exasperation, I sat down and facehooved as everypony screamed and ran out the door.

Confused, Pinkie walked out the door and shouted at the runaway partygoers’ backs, “Hey! Don’t you want any cake!?”

When there was no response, she frowned and trudged back in. The only guests still there were Twilight and the rest of their little group. Twilight was just sitting in a corner, smiling innocently. I rolled my eyes. Obviously she had forgotten to tell us the townsfolk were overdramatic and xenophobic.

The rainbow maned pegasus–Rainbow Dash, obviously–was floating above us, scowling at me. The yellow pegasus was cowering on the ground. That one’s Fluttershy. An orange earth pony was glaring daggers at the both of us. The white unicorn was desperately trying to fix her mane, as the sudden stampede had gotten it trampled and dirty. Next time, she probably shouldn’t arrive just as the panicked crowd stampedes out.

I looked at each of them in turn, showing none of the conflicting emotions I was feeling. I quickly assessed the possible threats from each in turn. Okay, Twilight trusts me, so she’s not dangerous, Rainbow looks like she wants to tear me to pieces, but is only restraining herself so she can find out what happened, Fluttershy doesn’t look like she’d hurt a fly, the white one’s too busy, and the orange one... hrmmm... she looks like the real threat. Looks like she might be able to buck a tree down with a kick from those legs.

Pinkie and Twilight quickly band together to explain what was going on. My concentration drifted as Rainbow Dash and the orange one–Applejack, maybe?–were momentarily stunned by Twilight’s words and ceased their hostility towards me.

“... And that’s what has happened so far.” Twilight finished. Turning to me, she asked, “Pinkamena, are you alright? I hope that the other ponies didn’t hurt your feelings.”

I grinned and replied, “I’m fine, Twilight.”

Hearing a gasp of shock, I looked over at the others who were suddenly cowering farther away from me than I would have liked. “What? What’s wrong? Is there something in my teeth?” I asked, hoping the joke would lighten the mood.

Instead, at the mention of teeth, Fluttershy squeaked and scrambled to get farther away from me. I just stared at them in confusion. What is going on?

I turned to Pinkie, surprised that even she was shaking. She! She who had known me for most of my very short time being here, was afraid of me! And for what reason?

“Y-you have... eep!” Fluttershy began, hiding again when I looked back at her. I have what? What do I have that makes them so afraid?

I moved over to a nearby window, checking my reflection in it, looking for any oddities. Nope, same face, same eyes. What could be wrong? I was just about to turn away when I noticed something. I looked back at the mirror and exposed my teeth. Sure enough, right where I had seen it, there was a fang. Shifting my head, I could see that there was a matching tooth on the other side.

Carefully pulling on it, I winced as I felt a sharp pain in my gums. Yup. Definitely real alright. I had a pair of sharp canines in my mouth. Fangs like this are meant for carnivores, not ponies!

When I looked back at the six other ponies, I had a panicked expression clearly displayed across my face. “I-I’m not su-supposed to have these...” I stuttered, fear evident in my voice.

Hearing this, Pinkie dared to creep a little closer. When she stood right in front of me and was still unharmed, she quickly put her forelegs around my neck and hugged me tightly. My legs gave out under me, the shock of this little discovery overwhelming all of my self-control.

The two figures walked amongst crowds of ponies, moving completely unnoticed. In the clear light of the town center, the two appeared as little more than vaguely pony-shaped collections of shadows.

“My lady, it has discovered a flaw in the transformation.” the smaller of the two explained, its voice being carried on waves of sound above mortal hearing.

“It was not a flaw, it was set there on purpose, to add more... complexity to this story.” The larger replied, her voice being carried on the same waves.

“My lady, what if she discovers what we’re up to?”

“If the Princess knows what’s good for her, she won’t do anything about it. But, I suppose you’re right. We might as well preserve secrecy as long as we can. She might think we’re manipulating one of her little ponies.” the shadow said with a chuckle. The smaller one laughed with her, nearly attracting the attention of some nearby animals.

The shadows moved into an alleyway. A few seconds later, a large dark grey unicorn with a black mane exited, followed by a similarly colored, but rather small, earth pony.

“Come, my husband,” she said, stressing the last word, “Let us find somewhere to stay for the night.” She smiled evilly. Today was going to be good.

[

“Uggghh...” I mumbled, waking up. I blinked some of the sleep from my eyes. What had happened earlier?

I blinked again, sitting straight up. I carefully checked my upper row of teeth. Sure enough, there were two sharp bumps right where I remembered them. I guess it was too much to ask that that had been a dream, huh?

Looking to my left, I smiled as I saw Pinkie sitting by my bedside, snoring softly. She is so adorable when she sleeps. I noticed something odd. She had her mane done up like mine. That seemed a bit odd.

Giving a particularly loud snort, she opened her eyes. Noticing me, she rubbed her eyes a few times in what looked like shock, which confused me. She hugged me and began sobbing into my shoulder, explaining recent events between the floods of tears.

“A-and th then, Nurse Redheart said that your heart had stopped beating, that you had no pulse! Y-you were s-so cold, and...” she sniffed, wiping away her tears, “N-nevermind. It’s all okay now, because you’re okay again!” Her mane poofed up a little and she did her best to squeeze the life out of me.

I was in shock. I had been legally dead for, as Pinkie so elegantly put it, a really, really, really long time. How am I alive now? This doesn’t make any sense?!

A nurse walked in, presumably to tell Pinkie to leave so they could bury me, took one look at my conscious self, screamed, and ran out the door, shouting some nonsense about the pink mare being a necromancer.

After a few minutes, the doctor walked in, took one look at me, and turned around and walked out the door, muttering something nearly incomprehensible about too many cupcakes.

I just smiled and hugged Pinkie tighter. If something was willing to bring me back from the dead and give me another chance to spend time with her, then whatever it was deserved a really, really, really big hug.

Author's Note

Yay! New chapter! Anyways, if you are wondering about how Pinkamena was brought back to life, it will all be explained. And I give you a 99.8% guarantee that you won't expect what it is. More criticism on the first chapter would be helpful. And nice. Please.

Meeting the Princesses

Pinkamena?

Chapter 5

Meeting the Princesses

In Canterlot...

Princess Celestia had just raised the sun. The Day Court was scheduled to begin in an hour.

She strode through the corridors of Canterlot Castle. The palace was effectively a never-ending maze to those who did not know how to navigate it properly. It had been built like that as a means of defense.

Luna had lowered the moon and was now probably heading to bed. The lunar princess could not stay awake during the day like her sister, which severely restricted the time they spent together.

However, none of these thoughts were on Celestia’s mind as she focused on one thing. The letter her student had sent her.

What could it mean? she thought, Could it be who I think it is?

Upon reaching Luna’s bedchambers, Celestia knocked three times on the door, paused, and knocked twice more. It was their secret code for anything that might have to do with this particular stranger.

After a second of hesitation, Luna couldn’t restrain herself. The door to her bedroom slammed into the wall opposite it.

“You have news of them!? What is it Tia?” Luna exclaimed, mentally jumping for joy.

“I believe that my faithful student has found them. I could be wrong, but the coincidences are too unlikely. They seem to be taking the shape of one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, they possess no real memories, and they show signs of unusual abilities,” Celestia explained, “I suggest we investigate this possibility as quickly as possible.”

“How will we do this, Tia? We can’t just show up on the behalf of one pony, no matter how unusual.” Luna thought.

Celestia appeared to be deep in thought for a moment, “I will ask my student to meet her new friend as soon as possible. We’ll need some way of telling if they’re who we’re thinking of...”

Luna smiled mischievously. She leaned over and whispered a carefully thought-out plan in her sister’s ear. Celestia smiled as well, nodding her head in agreement.

I ran into Pinkie on the way back to Sugarcube Corner. She waved happily to me and bounced along with me back to her home.

Oh, right... about that. “Uh, Pinkie? I’ve been wondering... where am I going to stay? I mean, most of your friends are scared of me, I wouldn’t feel right taking up more of Twilight’s time, and your bedroom’s too small for another bed.”

“Oh, silly. I mean, you’re me, so why can’t we share a bed? It’d be like sharing a bed with a great big teddy bear. Ooh, or a gummy bear! Speaking of Gummy, you should meet him! He’s my pet alligator...” Pinkie droned on about increasingly random subjects.

“Um, Pinkie?” I said, interrupting her tangent before it could go on any longer, “We’re here.”

Before us stood the great big gingerbread house. The bakery did not look like a bakery at all, that’s for sure.

“Oh, that’s right! I still have to introduce you to the Cakes! I kinda forgot to mention that you were going to stay here, too.” Pinkie sheepishly admitted.

“Wait, but you just decided that on the way over here, didn’t you? So how would...” I facehooved. It’s Pinkie. Why am I still surprised by her?

Pinkie bounced into the bakery. A few minutes later, a tall, yellow stallion and a short, blue mare followed Pinkie back out.

Probably having seen me at Pinkie’s party, they ignored the fact that we looked exactly the same. The Cakes introduced themselves and helped make me feel more welcome. We also worked out what exactly my living arrangements were.

After about an hour of discussion, during which Pinkie fidgeted in the corner, we came to an agreement. I would help out around the bakery during the day, and in return they would provide me with meals and a small pay.

Because of our discussion, we failed to notice the chariot descending into Ponyville, pulled by several Royal Guards.

“No! She’s here now? Of all times?” the strange grey unicorn seemed to be having a bad day. Her mane was disheveled and her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, “She must be onto me. To arrive in Ponyville right between when my assistant left and when his replacement will arrive. She must be!”

The unicorn bucked the nearest object, the table sitting in the living area. The sound of smashing wood sounded through the hotel room. She flinched. That wasn’t supposed to happen.

Looking around to make sure that no one was going to investigate the crash, she lifted the scraps up in a grey glow, promptly putting all the pieces together and sealing them seamlessly.

“Okay, let’s think more rationally. She has no reason to suspect me... uh... agh! I’m no good at thinking rationally...” she mumbled dejectedly.

Laying down on the bed, she yawned, “Maybe I should get some rest. A little sleep won’t hurt, will it?”

Yawning repeatedly, the unicorn found that even with her exhaustion, it still took her a few hours to get to sleep.

“Pinkie, Pinkamena!” Twilight burst in, “The princesses are here!” She looked like she had been panicking.

“So?” I said calmly.

“Didn’t you hear me? I said the princesses are here!” Twilight shouted at the top of her lungs.

“Wh-what!?” I looked around, “The princesses are here? Why?”

“I don’t know! All I know is that they want to see you!” she turned to me, “I don’t know why, but it can’t be good!”

“Silly Twilight, the princesses are nice! Why would they be mean to Pinkamena?” Pinkie asked as she bounced down the stairs.

“Good point, but I think we should see them anyways.” Twilight panted, out of breath.

“Of course Twilight, why would we ignore a summons from both of the princesses? I’m not stupid.” I grumbled, annoyed that she would think that I would ignore the princesses like that, “Well, we should go now, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, let’s just... let’s just walk back...” she requested.

“Alright, we’ll slow down for you, Twi, but you still gotta keep up!” I smirked.

Celestia was waiting in the library when we finally arrived. Twilight was just so slow.

“Sorry, we’re late princess... es? Umm, Princess, where’s Luna?” Twilight asked, confused.

All of a sudden, we heard a incredibly loud voice yell, “YAH!” from above us. The others were stunned, but I reacted fast enough to: look up, see Luna falling towards us, and dodge out of her way before she hit the ground.

After the dust cleared, it was revealed that putting a Princess on top of a dogpile does not decrease their regal presence.

Somehow, she managed to not only land upright, but on all four hooves, without a speck of dust on her.

Twilight and Pinkie managed none of those things, and were in a small pile with dazed expressions.

Luna turned to me and began to advance.

She spoke, “So the legends are true...”

“Legends?” I asked. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, Celestia was covering her muzzle, trying her best not to laugh.

“The legends of Skyrim!” Luna continued, “You, my dear, are the Dragonborn!”

“What? Do you really expect me to believe that? I don’t know what this ‘Skyrim’ is, nor do I know what a ‘Dragonborn’ is, but this just sounds too ridiculous. That, and I can see Princess Celestia giggling like a schoolfilly.” I smirked. Celestia decided that trying not to laugh was too difficult and began rolling on the floor.

“I-it really is you. I didn’t believe it at first, but now I cannot doubt it.” Luna stuttered, wide-eyed. I didn’t get it. Did she know me before I lost my memory?

“My old friend, today we are finally reunited!” Luna hugged me with rib-cracking force.

Spike decided at that moment to investigate the loud noises. The sight he had been greeted with must have been strange. Celestia rolling all over the place, laughing all the time, me being hugged by Princess Luna while looking like I was going to suffocate, and Twilight and Pinkie just now getting up from their princess-induced nap.

Being an intelligent little fellow, he did the rational thing and walked back up the stairs to go back to sleep.

“Wh-what are y-you talking ab-bout, P-princess?” I managed to force out of my slowly shrinking respiratory system.

“Oh, sorry...” she blushed, “It’s just that, you’re one of my oldest friends, and I forgot that you lost your memory, and... umm... sorry.”

“So you know who I was? You know what I was like?” I asked, excited.

“Yes, and yes, but... I-it’s not safe to talk about it here. Come by Canterlot Castle in a few days and we’ll be able to discuss it in private.” she looked around, blushing when she noticed that Twilight and Pinkie were staring at her.

“Luna, I think our visit is over.” Celestia suggested softly, having recovered from her laughing fit, “You can catch up with each other later.”

“Yes, sister...” Luna mumbled. She looked to me, “I’ll see you later.”

Looking around, I caught sight of a grey shape in one of the windows. After doing a double take, I decided that it was just my tired mind playing tricks on me.

“Alright Pinkie, let’s go home. I’m tired.”

“Woah, you know the princesses!? That’s so cool!” Pinkie exclaimed after the aforementioned princesses had left, “Why didn’t you tell me you knew the princesses!?”

“Pinkie, I’ve already told you four times. I don’t remember anything before I met you!” I explained, exasperated.

“Hmph!” Pinkie pouted, trying to overcome me with cuteness.

“That’s not going to work, Pinkie.” I deadpanned.

“Bah! You don’t respond to cuteness! How is that even possible?” she decided to attempt to resolve this dilemma by climbing all over me and examining every inch of my body. I just sighed and accepted that I couldn’t do anything to stop her.

“That’s strange...” she thought out loud.

“What’s strange?” I asked, curious as to what she had found.

“Nothing! There is absolutely nothing strange about you! Absolutely nothing!” she lied, sweating nervously.

“If you didn’t want to tell me, then just tell me that you don’t want to tell me.” I rolled my eyes.

“Oh. Okay. Sorry...” she mumbled.

“Argh! Why does everypony keep apologizing!? Apologies are unnecessary!” I almost yelled. Seriously, the only thing they seem to accomplish is annoying me.

“Oh... um... oh, look, we’re here!” Pinkie bounced, excited that she would be showing me my new room.

“Okay, Pinkie.” I chuckled. It had been a long day, and I was eager for rest. We entered Sugarcube Corner.

Getting into bed, I thought about my stay in Ponyville so far. It had been, well, strange, to say the least. But, if half of what Pinkie says is true, then strange is normal for this place. I can only hope that it gets better from now on.

“Goodnight, Pinkie.” I muttered, moving to one side of the bed.

“Goodnight, Pinkamena.” she murmured back, getting in on the other side.

Yawning, I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

“Shoot, it almost caught me! Why did I do that anyway? All it did was reveal that the princesses don’t know I’m here, and even if they did, it wouldn’t make a difference. They wouldn’t be able to stop me.” the grey unicorn paced in her hotel room.

“Well then. Since the princess of the night is planning on telling it what it is, I’ll have to accelerate my plans. It will begin tomorrow!” she chuckled evilly.

Author's Note

I feel sad. I finally get this chapter done, and what am I greeted by? Four likes and seven dislikes. And not one of them is telling me why their opinion is so. IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!

Magical Mystery... Fail?

Pinkamena?

Chapter 6

Magical Mystery... Fail?

A rooster crowed nearby. My eyes cracked open, letting in the morning sunlight. Where was I?

“Come on, Pinkamena, we’ve got to go harvest apples!” a straight-haired Pinkie Pie yelled as she attempted to pull me off the bed. I say “attempt” because that’s all she did.

“What are you talking about? And where are we, Pinkie?” I struggled to ask, as Pinkie was currently tugging on my tail, quite painfully.

“We’re at Sweet Apple Acres, remember? You showed up here a few days ago, and ah agreed to let you stay here as long as you helped out!” Pinkie said through her mouthful of tail. It was then that I noticed her accent. Her painfully Southern accent. Why? Why Pinkie? Why is this world so cruel?

Okay, maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, but seriously, I don’t like Southern accents.

“What are you talking about?” I repeated, “We work at Sugarcube Corner, and that’s where we fell asleep last night!” I was beginning to get annoyed, mostly because my tail was hurting.

“What are you talking about? Are you getting from that amnesha-wahtsit again?” Pinkie let go of my tail and cocked her head at me, confused.

“It’s amnesia and it only removes memories. It can’t just recreate an entire few days out of nothing!” I said, getting more than a little annoyed.

“Well then, what’s your explanation?” Pinkie asked, probably a little more than annoyed at the fact that I was obviously right.

“I think that something happened to you to make your memories change, your cutie mark change, and your attitude change.” I said, full of confidence, noticing at the last second that her cutie mark was of apples.

“Well, your cutie mark is apples as well! How do you explain that?” Pinkie exclaimed, not even bothering to check if she was right. I knew I had her then, because my cutie mark was a trio of... wait, no, it’s still balloons.

“Well, I don’t really consider balloons the same thing as apples. Are you sure you’re alright? Didn’t eat any weird hallucinogenic plants lately?” I asked, obviously concerned. I just don’t look the same as normal ponies when I’m worried. It apparently looks patronizing.

“Grr...” Pinkie growled, for some reason angry at my concern. I was worried about her, why was she angry?

“You know, I don’t like growling. It makes you seem like a primitive animal.” I said, feigning a sophisticated attitude, complete with top hat, bow tie, monocle, tea, and crumpets. I had no idea where I got them, either.

“Rrrrr...” Pinkie’s eye twitched. I smiled. I was getting to her. Just make her explode, come on, you can do it!

I shook my head. I really shouldn’t listen to that voice. It doesn’t help me make good decisions.

“Well, Pinkie, I suppose we should be off, to, how would you put it? Buck apples?” I said, still maintaining my air of sophistication.

“Yeah. We should...” Pinkie grumbled under her breath, “Some ponies need the character building...”

“Who, me? I don’t have the foggiest idea as to what you’re talking about.” I grinned. Just make her a little angry, and you’ll laugh about it later when everything is back to normal.

That voice in my head just sounded so familiar I never stopped to question why it had suddenly appeared that morning.

“Argh! Why ain’t this working? It’s supposed to be my special talent!” Pinkie exclaimed, frustrated, as the thousandth batch of apples came falling down on her head.

I grinned again, “Maybe you should consider that my memories are the correct ones, and that yours are false.”

“Your memories don’ even make any sense. Ah mean, come on, me? Being a party animal?” Pinkie rolled her eyes. She also probably stressed her accent just to annoy me, “That just don’ fit with reality!”

“How do you know?” I asked, sure that my spectacular line of logic following this question would convince her.

“Because ah don’ act like that, and ah never will. Simple as that.” Pinkie replied, confidence filling her voice.

“Ah, but Pinkie, you haven’t experienced that life. Or, at least, you don’t perceive that you have. You see, raising somepony in a different environment, just by changing the smallest of variables, could result in a completely new pony. So, replacing your perceived childhood with the real one, it can be safely assumed that you would turn out differently.” I stated confidently, holding a bubble pipe, and wondering why I’m thinking like this all of a sudden.

Pinkie narrowed her eyes at me, “Ah don’t care. It ain’t gonna happen. That just ain’t the truth. And ain’t you supposed to be workin’?”

My smile disappeared, “Um... no?”

Looking over the rest of the orchard that needed harvesting, then comparing it to the amount me and Pinkie have finished, I figured out: “Pinkie, if we continue at this pace, we’ll finish today’s harvest by the end of next week.” I jumped down from the tree, and sauntered over to her with a grin, “I say we’re doing better than I expected.”

I took a closer look at her, “Pinkie, what’s wrong?”

She glared at me, then became gloomy again, “Me, you, everything! Ah don’ know why, but I just cain’t do it anymore. Ah just cain’t. Ah poured my entire life into this here farm, and now suddenly ah’m no good at it anymore. Ah... ah don’ know who I am anymore...”

My grin quickly faded. This wasn’t just some memory mishap. This was closer to psychological torture. And Pinkie was taking the brunt of it.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of banjos off in the distance. I notice Pinkie straightened up and listened to it.

Peering over to where the music was coming from, I saw Twilight and Spike looking confused.

Pinkie began to sing, “Ah don’ care much for pickin’ fruit, and plowin’ fields in such a hoot. No matter what ah try ah cannot fix this busted water chute! Ah’ve got so many chores to do it’s no fun being me. But it has to be my destiny, ‘cuz it’s what my cutie mark is tellin’ me.” While she sang, she performed a series of related activities.

Twilight and Spike’s eyes widened, and they ran off. I called for them to wait, but they didn’t listen.

The grey unicorn rose out of the shadows under one of the golden delicious trees.

“Hmm... it seems that the spell didn’t affect it. Well, that just makes it more interesting,” the unicorn cackled as she literally sank back into the shadows.

“We can do what we can now, for together we can be her guide!” Rarity sang to Applejack as she helped me and Pinkie around the farm. I noticed her cutie mark had changed to three diamond. Had this happened to all of them?

“A true, true friend helps a friend in need! A friend will be there to help them see. A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light, that shines from a true, true friend!” all of Pinkie’s friends sang, as an apple shaped amethyst, or other purple gem, mounted on a golden necklace was placed around Applejack’s throat. The results were fascinating. Too bad I probably won’t be able to study them,

“Yeehaw! Now that’s more like it! What’s next?” Applejack asked. I noticed that her personality seemed to change while she worked around the farm. Actually, now that I think about it, where were the other Apple family members this morning?

“The townspeople are furious, we need the old Pinkie Pie back!” Twilight said.

“I’m on it! I know just the thing!” and she began to sing, “The townspeople need you, they’ve been sad for a while. They march around, face a-frowned, and never seem to smile. And if you feel like helping we’d appreciate a laugh!” And she grabbed Pinkie and threw her up in front of the town with one of those mustache-and-glasses disguise thingies and a necklace with an orange balloon, “If you’d get up there and spread some cheer from here to Canterlot!”

Pinkie’s mane puffed back up, and she yelled, “Come on ponies, I wanna see you SMILE!”

The crowd immediately brightened up and responded with: “PINKIE!!”

The chorus of the song repeated, with the entire town joining in. Except for me, of course. I don’t like singing.

It was amazing what friendship could do in this world. Immediately after this thought, I thought another thought, which was so thoughtful, and full of thoughtiness, that I amazed even myself. My next thought was: Why did I think about it like I’m not from here?

And yes, I know thoughtiness isn’t a word.

The next thing I noticed was the entire gang rushing back to the library without me. I called after them, and they didn’t listen. Seriously, what is up with ponies and not listening? And why did I think that like I’m not one of them?

Sprinting at top speeds, I managed to get to the library just as Twilight put the final period on her spell. The resulting flash of energy blinded me for a second, and when I opened my eyes, a beautiful rainbow was speeding straight towards me. It’s beauty entranced me so well that I didn’t even notice it hit me.

My last thought before I surrendered to unconsciousness? Not again.

Author's Note

Oh no! What happened?

Well, you'll have to wait until next time to find out.

Meeting Old Friends

Pinkamena?

Chapter 7

Meeting Old Friends

My eyes opened in an instant.

“Where am I?” I stopped, hoping I was hallucinating, “What’s going on?” My eyes widened. It wasn’t a hallucination.

My voice, it wasn’t the feminine voice I had been hearing the past few days. No, it was monotone, with a metallic hint to it. It didn’t even sound remotely female. But there was something else to it, something... familiar about it.

Then it hit me. It was my voice. My true voice. The one I had when I was with Pinkie was only an illusion. Contemplating how I knew this, I examined my surroundings.

I was in a pitch black space, with the occasional image floating through it. Looking closer, I saw lines of 1s and 0s covering the walls.

A bright blue orb sat what could be a few feet or a few miles away from me. It flashed a picture over its surface. The image was of me, talking with Twilight.

Another scene showed up, this time of me and Pinkie talking to the Cakes.

The orb began going through images at a faster rate. It showed my entire stay in Ponyville. What was strange was that it was all from my point of view...

I realized something the second I stopped seeing the pictures. These were my memories, from the first to the last. They were everything I could remember.

Feeling a strange compulsion to touch the glowing sphere, I slowly reached out and tapped it.

Instantly, my hoof stuck to it and a lifetime’s worth of memories passed through my head at blinding speeds.

I collapsed, exhausted.

I murmured something. Something like, “I remember...”

“Sh–akin–up!” I heard a muffled voice say, with something akin to panic.

Sliding my eyes open, I immediately sat up, nearly tearing all of the medical instruments off of me.

Sitting around me were Pinkie and her friends, along with the princesses. They all stared with expressions of absolute shock. Pinkie’s hair was deflated.

I had been in a similar situation before, and thusly, knew how to handle it. Not that I did handle it, mind you, but I knew how.

I looked over to the medical machinery. Every single one of them said I wasn’t breathing, or my heart wasn’t beating, and similar death-causing afflictions.

Then I registered something. I wasn’t breathing, my heartbeat was definitely absent, and I couldn’t feel a single thing. My entire body was numb.

However, I still knew things. It was odd. I couldn’t actually feel the blanket, but I knew it was rough. I couldn’t feel the warmth, but I knew it was exactly 76.245° Fahrenheit, or 24.5805556° Celsius.

Okay, that last one was a bit ridiculous, but still, I somehow knew these things.

All these thoughts passed through my head so quickly, that when I was done thinking them, nopony had moved. Or maybe that was just the shock of seeing me alive. Maybe even both.

I decided to take this time to examine myself. Still the same pink coat, the same dark mane and tail, same balloon cutie... mark?

I was a blank-flank. It made sense, as I was never one for parties, but at the same time, it surprised me.

I looked over to my friends again. Still not moving. Hm... That was odd. I began to climb out of bed to see if they were alright. After I did, they snapped out of whatever trance they had all been in.

“How did this happen!?” Luna shouted, with the Royal Canterlot Voice.

I was so surprised by this that I fell out of the bed and hit my head. Suddenly, all illusions of me being alive disappeared, along with what I thought was my body.

When I had hit the ground, instead of hearing a muted thud, like I had anticipated, I heard a loud clang. My hair and flesh disappeared, replaced by some sort of metal.

“I-I need a mirror...” I mumbled, after standing back up.

Celestia conjured one and set it down in front of me. I didn’t look at all like a pony.

My body was pony-shaped, but it wasn’t too close.

My legs were made up of various plates, gears, cogs, screws, and other metallic devices used in machinery. While covered in a strong plating, my body was rather unremarkable. My head was shaped the same, however, the top of it was a glowing sky blue dome. The eyes were a solid blue.

I looked back at my friends. I was frowning, despite my face being composed out of a material that shouldn’t bend.

Then I saw Celestia and Luna. Just the sight of them filled me with joy, for some reason. And then my “dream” came rushing back.

“Tia, Lu-Lu...” I smirked.

Celestia’s eyes widened, and Luna’s mouth turned up in an insanely large grin. She could rival even Pinkie Pie on a good day.

Luna pounced on me and shouted, “You’re back! I missed you so much!” Celestia just smiled at the pair of us, especially knowing our history.

Luna leaned back and cocked her head. So adorable! I thought.

“You feel like you’re made of flesh and blood, but you cannot be...” she pronounced, shocked.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

“You... you feel warm. You are not solid like metal, either. You feel... alive!” Luna grinned as she swooped me up in another hug, “Oh, you don’t know what it’s like to finally be bigger than you!”

In our excitement, we completely forgot about the six Elements of Harmony in the room with us.

“Uh... is somepony gonna tell us what in the hay is goin’ on?” Applejack asked, rather loudly.

Celestia decided to answer her. “This pony... is an old friend of ours. He was there when we were little fillies, and he doesn’t look like he’s aged since!”

“What!? He!? I thought you were a mare!” Pinkie shouted, rather angrily, “We slept in the same bed, for pony’s sake!”

I grinned sheepishly, “Yeah, I thought I was a mare too. Whoever put that illusion spell on me was really good. Even I couldn’t tell that it was an illusion.”

“Wait, you mean... you didn’t make yourself like this on purpose?” Twilight asked, clearly upset by the news.

I frowned. “No, why?”

“Well then we need to find out who did this and why! Who knows what they could be doing because you’re like this!” Twilight practically screamed, “For all we know, they could have been a dangerous criminal!”

“Oh... that makes sense.” I was still dazed from the whole “You’re actually a robot who’s older than Celestia” thing. Don’t blame me if my thinking wasn’t at its best.

“You know Luna, this reminds me of that time you pranked your sister into thinking she was a tree for an entire month.” I smiled.

Luna burst out laughing, Celestia turned as red as a beet, and the six mares stared at the solar princess in shock. They obviously couldn’t believe that their omniscient goddess could be fooled by such a prank. It was actually because she had thought she was omniscient that worked.

“Luna, may I remind of Captain Woona, the most feared pirate of all the world?” I said, then began doing an imitation of her voice as a little filly, “Gimme all your stuff, because I am Capan Woona, and I want tresshur!”

Everyone but Luna giggled at this impersonation. She glared at me. If looks could kill, I would have never existed.

I caught a glimpse of a grey blur outside one of the windows. Dismissing it as nothing, I returned to reminiscing with the princesses.

The grey unicorn giggled after seeing that heartwarming reunion. She sprouted a pair of wings and flew up above the cloud cover, until she passed the point where a pony wouldn’t be able to breathe.

“Heheheheh,” she giggled again, “ Just remember, my little ponies: Tick Tock, go the clocks, and all around clockwork,” she paused, “stops.”

Flying off, she laughed to herself all the way back to the hotel.

Author's Note

God, it's so much fun to write the "grey unicorn" scenes. In case you haven't realized yet, she doesn't really have a set personality. This is for a reason that will be revealed later on.

Meeting Time

Pinkamena?

Chapter 8

Meeting Time

Tick-tick-tick-tick-click.

“Huh? What was that noise?” I asked, looking around and trying to find its source. As I tried to get up to search for it, I found where it was. It had been my legs.

Earlier, I noticed that my legs had an assortment of gears and cogs in them. I had dismissed this as a decoration. However, it was now obvious that they had been running on clockwork. And they just ran out of tension.

“Well, this is certainly annoying,” I complained “Now I can’t move my legs!” I looked over at my friends, with a pleading look in my eyes.

Luna nearly tripped trying to get to me as fast as she could. She then picked me up and started examining my legs, searching for a place to wind them back up. I won’t even bother telling you how demeaning it was.

After several minutes of searching, Luna became frustrated. “It’s no use,” she said “there’s no way to wind it!”

I immediately began searching my mind for a way to tighten the clockwork and get it running again. Surely, after being alive as long as I have, I had to fix it at least once? According to my memories, not at all. There was not a single instance where I did.

Wait a minute, they aren’t all here! I thought Why aren’t my memories here!?

“GAH!” I shouted “I can’t remember everything! The only memories I have are the ones that you share with me! I don’t know what happened to me every time I went away!” Oh, and in case I didn’t mention, I was with the princesses at various points in their life. In between those, I would suddenly disappear without a trace.

Apparently, after the first Nightmare Moon incident, it had caused Celestia to become so angry that she tore the tower I had been staying in right off its base. And then she left to live in Canterlot.

Everypony was staring at me. “Uh, sugarcube, are you alright?” Applejack asked, probably deciding to latch on to the first thing that her simple‒ WAIT, not continuing that line of thought.

“No,” I said, sticking out the mechanical equivalent of my tongue “I’m not. I just found out that I’m actually older than the princesses, I’m a robot, I still don’t have all my memories, and I’m a robot!”

Twilight looked at me nervously, “Uh, you said you’re a robot tw‒”

“I know what I said!” I gritted my teeth “I always know what I say! I can’t do anything without knowing exactly what happened!” My eyes were twitching, and I was clearly unstable from all that had happened in, what? The past ten minutes? The last half-hour!?

Anyways, the others were recognizing the blatant signs of insanity that they had noticed in Twilight before. Except I was made out of spell-resistant metal. Don’t ask me how I knew that. I just knew. It was one of my memories, but I don’t know which one. I also don’t know how the illusion was cast on me.

I’ve got to stop doing that. Alright, so the others’ reactions went along something like this:

“Sh, he’s angry.”

“I can see that, dear sister.”

“Are you alright, sugarcube?”

“Are you feeling well, darling?”

“What are you doing?”

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“Why the frownie-face?”

*whimper*

Guess who the last one was. I’ll give you a hint, they’re yellow.

Also, I don’t think the world actually turned red. I’m pretty sure that was just me. Yeah, apparently this body turns my vision red when I’m angry. It might have some benefits, but at the moment it was just annoying.

A pair of rockets popped out of my back and lit, sending me crashing through the ceiling. The hospital slowly trailed away into the distance.

I sighed with relief. Being around those eight… it was just stressful. For me, anyways.

And then i realized something. I was several hundred feet up, I had no idea where I was, and I couldn’t tell when the rockets ran out of fuel.

All of a sudden, that just happened. The nozzles sputtered for a few seconds, then completely stopped and I fell to what was certainly going to be a lot of pain.

I was stopped suddenly when I was several feet away from the dirt below me. Surrounding me was a light grey aura.

Looking around, I spotted a grey unicorn holding me with her magic. She lowered me to the ground slowly.

“Are you alright?” she asked. It seemed a bit of a silly question to me, but still.

“Yeah, thanks to you.” I replied.

“Good, because this is important.” she smirked. I wondered what she meant by that, as this seemed a bit odd, “This world, the one you can see right now, is not yours. You do not belong in it. You should not even be in it.”

“What do‒”

“Ah ah ah! Let me finish. The only reason you are here is because of me. I’m the one who brought you here. I’m the one who allowed you to make friends! And I am the one who brought you to this exact point in time to explain this all to you!” She seemed a bit angry.

I was thoroughly confused by this point. “But what abou‒”

“I said, LET ME FINISH!” she shouted, “You were brought over several times throughout your true life. Did you notice those holes in your memories? They are from your true life. The things you’ve done here are the things you wished you had done back in your world!”

I was nearly in tears by this point.

“And you know what!? I don’t think you even deserved this chance! I think you should just roll over an‒!”

Suddenly, a grey blur smashed into the unicorn. I looked over to where they had landed. Standing above the grey unicorn was an exact replica of her. They glared into each other’s eyes with murderous intent while I stood there confused.

“How dare you! This machine is our only hope! Without him, we cannot survive! He is the only reason this universe even exists! He will be the last guiding light in a universe of shadows!”

“Uh…” I said, wanting to say something.

“WHAT!?” they both shouted in unison.

“I just wanted to say that I have no idea what you’re talking about…” I said in a very quiet voice.

The unicorn that appeared to like me more jumped off her… other self? I don’t know how to describe it.

“Oh, of course you don’t! I never told you!” she ran over to me and hugged me, “My name’s Tempora, but so is hers, so you can call me Tempora Alpha-One and her Tempora Zeta-Thirty!”

“Wait, if you’re the same pony, then how come you two act so different?”

“Because I’m the second and she’s so far down the line that you don’t even have a number for it!” she cheerily exclaimed.

“You’re the… second?” I asked. I had no idea what this crazy mare was talking about.

“Yup! The first doesn’t like any mortals seeing her, as it tends to burn their eyes out with sheer power!” Tempora said.

I blinked at her comment. She clearly had no idea what my question had actually been. “I meant, why are there more than one of you?”

“OOOoooh, why didn’t you just say so? Well, the first likes to oversee the individual universes, but she cannot focus on everything at once, so she split herself into thousands of pieces, one for each universe! I make sure they all work together and don’t do anything stupid!” she answered. Her personality seemed to vary quite a lot.

“So, you’re saying that you are both each a piece of a goddess?” I asked, bemused. They seem to think that they are goddesses!

“Nonononono! The first isn’t a goddess, she’s one of the fundamental laws of everything!” Tempora said, a bit worried, for some odd reason, “She’s Time itself!”

Now, that last part shocked me. Some part of me had believed what Tempora Alpha-One was saying, in order to keep an objective point of view. At that last comment, this small fragment had taken over everything.

“What!? You are part of Time!? I don’t even… How is this even possible!?” I shouted.

“Well, it all started when everyone decided Finitis had too much power. Then he split himself in two, creating the first and leaving himself!” Tempora grinned.

“What.” I didn’t even bother making it sound like a question. It wasn’t. It was my way of expressing disbelief.

“Well, I need you back in your home universe now, so I’ll be taking you back soon.” she grinned and tried to grab me.

“No! I don’t want to leave!” I shouted, “I have a life here! I don’t care what mine was like back there, but I doubt it’s as good as this!”

Tempora looked vaguely confused at this point. “Oh, did I not tell you why you were sent here? It’s because you’ll need these friends at a later point. But, right now, you need to come with me. If you don’t, well, all of reality will collapse!” she flailed her hooves about for emphasis.

“And why would that require me?” I asked. I was quite sure that I wasn’t the most important person, and I was pretty sure that meant I couldn’t destabilize reality itself.

“Because without you, Unit 0 and the rest of his team will collapse thousands of universes, ending reality as we know it!”

“Uh… Unit 0? That sounds familiar…” I muttered.

“That’s because he is less stable than I am and more reality warping than Pinkie Pie.” she explained, “And he’s the reason why you’re the last sane member of your kind.”

I stood there in shock. Being more insane than Tempora? Warping reality more than Pinkie? How could I make a difference!?

Before I could voice my concerns, Tempora interrupted me. “Yes, I know, you don’t seem worthy enough. But, you are, because you are the only one who has met him, and as such the only one who can defeat him! Your memories will be restored when you return home.” she said in a flat monotone.

After a few seconds of thought, I agreed to go. I could only hope that the others would forgive me.

In a bright flash of light, my consciousness fled from my body. The metal shell collapsed on the ground, the blue fading from it.

Author's Note

All right! Well, I'm sad to say this story is coming to an end soon. However, me and my friends are working a sequel, and we will try to get it out after the crossover material is finished. Yes, this is now a crossover.

The material is going to be a webcomic called "DERP". Yes, it is an acronym. Also, I am the head writer of this not-pony-related project (The reason it isn't ponies is because one of my friends hates MLP. He likes Homestuck instead). The project will be up and running if we can get a dedicated artist and after me and my buddies finish our high school classes that we need to make the website.

Anyways, next chapter is going to be very short, I'm sad to say, as there isn't much to say about it.

My World

Pinkamena?

Epilogue

My World

The light faded from my vision and I looked around. I was back home, on my “bed”, all alone again. My memories were back, and I could see how Unit 0 was going to pose a problem.

I imitated a sigh, running on habit more than need, as humanity was no longer around me. Walking out of my makeshift shelter, I stared at the sky.

Red, burning red. Smoke filled the air with toxins, killing any oxygen-breathing life form brave enough to come near here, where the fires still raged. The ground was a wasteland, dotted with craters, and no life to speak of.

Burning streaks fell toward the Earth, splitting the sky in half. Chunks of rock smashed into the ground near me, not big enough to pose a threat to an android like me.

Over in the distance, I saw a storm brewing. Ever since the end, weather had been odd. England was bombarded with hurricanes, Switzerland dried up and baked, even Russia had been assaulted by lightning storms.

I walked over to the small machine beside my home, a scrap-metal satellite dish on top. My transmitter had only gained a few dents overnight, nothing to worry about. The transmitter was my only hope of getting off of this dead rock.

The once-beautiful bastion of humanity was no more, just a clod of dirt floating through space. I had lived on this planet for nearly fifteen centuries. Only four hundred years ago, the meteors hit.

It had been small at first, the occasional debris falling onto a building and crushing it, but as time went on, the meteors grew bigger and more frequent.

One day, a chunk of rock large enough to crush the entirety of Illinois smashed into the border of Arizona and Utah, burning the entire West Coast of the United States. Then, a meteor the size of Texas slammed into Bolivia, shattering the entire continent of South America.

Things only got worse from there. Flesh-eating plagues, riots, droughts, famines, and wars raged as the heavens fell to earth.

There was no hope left for the planet, but I could only hope humanity itself had survived.

The area I was in now, near the ruins of the town Meshchovsk, in Russia, was the site of the meteor that destroyed Eastern Europe and most of North-Western Asia.

Each rock had hit nearly a decade apart. Most of the world was devastated, especially with the smaller meteors coming in and crushing cities.

My only question to Tempora was: Why?

I saw a black shape descending from the heavens, as if to lift me to the afterlife. I discarded such foolishness, deciding that it was probably a ship. Finally, a way out.

Author's Note

Sorry it was so short, but there was only so much exposition I could fit in one chapter without boring you all.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed "Pinkamena?" It was really fun to write, and to expand my character in DERP. Now, I'm sorry to say that DERP won't be out for at least half a year, and the pony-sequel to this will take even longer. I don't want to keep you guys waiting, but this is what we get when I decide to join a group project.

Now, just to note: Almost ALL of my stories will take place in the same universe. If not, they will be marked otherwise.

My next story is an AU fic that shall be titled: "Discord Rules".

I hope to see you all there!

Twilit Friendship

Pinkamena?

Chapter 4

Twilit Friendship

“NO! Curses! I should have known the shock would short out the illusion!” the large grey unicorn shouted. They had found a bedroom in an inn. It was an old one, meaning that it didn’t get many visitors. In fact, the amount of happiness the innkeeper showed when they asked for a room showed that it hadn’t had any visitors for a long time.

The small grey earth pony whimpered at the anger he could hear in her voice. She did not punish him, no, but he was still afraid of her. “M-my lady, it wasn’t your fault―”

“Not my FAULT!? Of course it was my fault! Who else had anything to do with setting up any if this!?” she panted heavily, out of breath from her impressive shouting, “How could this be ANYONE’S fault but mine!?” She glared at the earth pony, softening her gaze when she saw him cowering.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound angry with you. I’m only angry with myself.” she whispered to the earth pony, “Please, don’t be afraid of me.”

Looking up, he noticed her soft smile. It seemed to drain all of the tension from him. He smiled back at her and began to stand back up.

She stepped back and helped him get back on all four legs. She was always kind to him, even when she was angry. She was, however, extremely unstable, and easily provoked by anyone but him. For some reason, he was special. Sometimes he thought she loved him, before realizing that a being like her loving something like him would be, well, completely impossible.

“Now, we lost three of the five senses on that illusion,” she began, “Touch, sound, and taste. Luckily, none of them decided to lick what they thought was a corpse.”

“Yes, it would be rather odd if a pony tasted like, well, that’s not something I'd want to say here.” the earth pony thought out loud, before turning back to the unicorn, “What happens if the illusion fails again?”

“Then, its true form will be revealed. And then, we will be in a tight spot. Hopefully that won’t happen.” she explained, turning towards various magical monitoring devices set up around the room. All of them seemed to be focused on a specific pink pony, from different perspectives.

“Well, instead of hoping, why don’t we focus on preventing it, shall we?” the unicorn asked, “Let’s get started!”

The reaction to my recovery had been, well, loud. Some ponies were angered that I had defied such an impermeable law of nature. Others were curious how I had done it. A small few were cheering for me.

It seemed that I wasn't very well liked in this town.

"Well, at least some ponies are cheering for you, right?" Pinkie said with a nervous grin, "I mean, wouldn't it be terrible if nopony liked you at all?"

"They're only cheering because they don't know much about me." I replied. I sighed and looked around. I didn't seem to be a likable pony.

"Oh come on, turn that frown upside down!" she released a couple balloons in my face, "So some meanie pants aren't cheering for you because you came back to life. Is that really such a big deal?"

Frowning, I looked away. "Pinkie, it's not just that they're not cheering for me, it's because they're completely justified in doing so. They're afraid of me, and they have the right to. But, I just wish it could be different. That I didn't have to be like this, that I could be normal," I had thought long and hard about it, and this was about as philosophical as I get.

"Hrmm. This is a tough one. Oohh! I know just how to get you to smile!" she grabbed my hoof and dragged me away.

Being dragged across the roads of Ponyville is not fun, if you've never experienced it. The roads are covered in rocks, potholes are everywhere, and pedestrians are a constant problem.

Now imagine my reaction to being pulled over these roads, facedown, by a hyperactive pony who never seems to run out of energy. Needless to say, by the time we got to our destination, I was pretty irritated.

"All right Pinkie, what's going on?" I stood up and turned toward her, "Where are we and why are we here?"

Giggling, she turned towards the building we were in front of and gestured toward it.

I groaned. It was Sugarcube Corner, again. Didn't I have enough to worry about without having to appear at a party? Apparently I didn't, as Pinkie dragged me inside to see a party already set up.

Without even bothering to consider how she had done so, I gazed around the room. The party decorations looked like they had been put up in a hurry, and Pinkie seemed slightly out of breath as she tried to hide her party cannon.

"Pinkie, you know that parties can't solve everything, right?" I asked, although I did have a warm feeling knowing she was actually trying.

Her smile fell at these words, and she seemed to become a bit sheepish, "Well, parties always make me happy, and, you know, you kind of look like me, so I thought... sorry..."

"Don't worry Pinkie, I understand that you meant well, and there's no harm done, so, uh, er, I'm not good at this kind of thing!" I rubbed my forehead in frustration.

"It's okay, why don't we get you a relaxing... uh... that reminds me! We haven't gotten to know each other yet!" she exclaimed, "So, what do you like, when's your birthday, how old are you, what kind of qualities do you look for in friends, what's your favorite color... " She asked many personal questions, most of which I couldn't actually answer due to my memory loss.

After answering as many as I could, as best I could, Pinkie dragged me over to the library, shouting, "Twilight! Pinkamena needs a good science fiction or fantasy novel, STAT!"

Clearing the rocks out of my face and rubbing all of my sore spots, I turned to see Twilight pulling out several stacks of books, all of which were science fiction or fantasy.

My eyes went wide as I beheld the large stack of books. I immediately dove in, sorting the books into three piles, interesting's, maybe's, and absolutely not's. Sometime during this, Pinkie waved goodbye and left for Sugarcube Corner.

Surprisingly, the absolutely not pile was very small, much smaller than I had expected. There were only around twelve or thirteen books that I wouldn't even consider.

Rounding on the interesting pile, I sorted them into an order in which to read them. I organized by series, amount of interest, and length. All in all, it was about an hour before I even started on the first book.

Twilight laughed, saying, "A pony after my own heart, I see. I'm surprised somepony who looks so much like Pinkie could be so well organized."

I chuckled, "I'm surprised as well. It's just, it bothers me seeing them not organized correctly. I just can't leave it like that, so I fix it. It's weird, but I guess I dealt with it before, and I can deal with it now."

"I know the feeling. If something is just a teeny, tiny bit out of place..." Twilight began.

"You just have to mess around with it until it's correct, I know." I finished for her, "Although, it must be much easier to deal with for you, being a unicorn and all."

"Yes, magic does help deal with things like this. All that dexterity and strength allows for much more manipulation." she replied, smiling at me, "But don't you hate it when ponies don't use proper grammar, or spell things wrong?"

Thinking for a second, I realized, "Yes, yes I do. I just have to nag at them until they fix it or they let me fix it."

"You know, you're much more likable than I realized. Sometimes, having friends like mine can be a little frustrating."

"I can imagine."

We talked throughout the night. We read books, talked about books, and I even helped her proofread some of her research papers. Obviously, I wasn't doing much during that time.

I was making a new friend!

"Good. It is making friends. If given this chance, hopefully it will befriend them so closely that they will stand with it if something were to happen." the grey unicorn turned to her "husband".

"Yes my lady." the earth pony bowed, "Um, if I may...?"

"Yes yes, of course. What is it?" she asked, turning away again.

"Well, it has been so long since I have returned to the Realm of Eternal Chaos. Perhaps I could go back and send a temporary replacement?" he queried.

"Oh, of course. I have been neglectful. I'm sorry. Please go home, and return when you are feeling rested enough." she smiled at him.

"Thank you, my lady. I will send a suitable replacement. I hope they will be to your liking." he spoke, turning toward the window.

She grinned and chuckled, "If they are as half as useful as you, that would be astonishing." Turning him around, she asked, concern on her face, "You will return, won't you? You won't lose yourself completely?"

Brushing her hoof off, he smiled back, "Of course I will, my lady. I only need some time to rest. I will return as soon as possible."

She breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank you, I don't know what I would do without you." Leaning over, she planted a kiss on his cheek.

Feeling the heat rise to his cheeks, he turned away and dissipated into a cloud of shadow. He dissipated piece by piece, leaving his hoof for last, using it to wave goodbye to her.

"Uhhh..." I mumbled. Rubbing my forehead, I blinked my eyes open. Looking around, it took me a few seconds to figure out where I was.

Twilight was passed out next to me, using a dictionary as a pillow. She looks so adorable when she sleeps.

Getting up, I let out a huge yawn. The yawn woke up Twilight, who began getting up as well.

"Wow, we sure *yawn* stayed up late..." Twilight spoke quietly.

"I was awake longer than you." I teased.

"Oh, really?" she asked. She began levitating several books, putting them away on their respective shelves.

"Yeah. I saw your face hit the book when you fell asleep. Then I stayed up for another hour or so, before falling asleep too." I rubbed my forehead again. Books aren't the most comfortable pillows around.

"Hmm. How can you stay up so late and wake up so early? You must have gotten, what, three hours of sleep? Now you're more awake than I am." Twilight grumbled. She used her magic to grab a quill and parchment, "I've been meaning to do this since I met you and noticed that powerful magic blocking your memories. There's just been so much to do, it just slipped my mind."

"So, what are you doing?" I asked, peering closely at the paper.

"I'm writing a letter to Princess Celestia. I need to report everything that has happened." she said, dipping the quill in ink and beginning to write.

"Oh, that's right! You're the Princess's student. You must be really good at magic to be taught by her." I exclaimed, after tapping my chin thoughtfully.

She blushed, "Well, I'm not anything worth bragging about... " She trailed off.

I rolled my eyes. "Why would you brag? It just makes you look arrogant and nopony likes you."

"Good point. You know, this reminds me of an incident we had a long while ago. There was this unicorn named Trixie–"

"Wait. Is this the story where the Ursa Minor attacks the city? Pinkie's already told me that one..." I interrupted.

She looked startled, then like she thought herself stupid. "Oh, I should have known." She facehooved, "Of course Pinkie would tell you everything."

She finished the letter, rolled it up into a scroll, and sealed it, "Well, when Spike gets up I'll send it." She turned to me, "So, what do you want to do?"

I thought for a second, "Well, hmm. I should probably check in on Pinkie, make sure she doesn't think I've gone and gotten myself killed again." I chuckled.

I noticed Twilight staring at me in shock, "What?"

"Nothing. It's just, how can you laugh when you nearly died? That's not exactly something you joke about." she stated worriedly.

Stroking my chin, I thought, "Well, it might have something to do with shock? I'm not exactly the expert on things like this, but I believe that's one of the reactions to something like this? You know, joking about it and making it seem like nothing?"

"Maybe, but I don't think that's what you're supposed to feel when you are legally dead for over fourteen hours!"

"Fourteen hours!? That must be why it was noon when I woke up. Oh well. See you later!" I galloped out the door. Time to see Pinkie!

Author's Note

Well, I've been away for the past, what, week? Maybe less? Anyways, the campground I'm staying at tonight has Wi-Fi, and I'm using it as an opportunity to post this chapter.

This is the chapter where my character diverges from myself. If I was the main character, then I would have sat with silence in the scene with Twilight.

Anyways, enjoy, and in particular I would like some critique on the first chapter.