Chapter 1 why
So you know me that regular guy who has a good life a family and not a damn problem in the world, well to put it in terms shit hit the fan and my life is starting to crumble. It started out just as a regular day I walk to work which is a good job. I noticed a hole in the sidewalk that was never there and people just walked over it like it wasn’t there so I examined it. And I regret the six seconds I looked at because I got sucked in and I was being plunged through a void. The last thing I saw was something that was annoyingly pink in the ally smiling then It went dark. I was falling and fast. Then I saw a blue and green dot below me and I knew I was screwed I turned my back towards the approaching planet and prepared for death.
Today was the real canter lot wedding after the whole changeling invasion and before shinning armor said his vows Luna the god of the moon spoke up :sister there is a problem a rift has opened up and whatever it is it is coming this way and fast, cast your shield above canter lot now!” all the ponies and alicorns in the room stared at the god.
Celestia looked embarrassed at the outburst “dear sister I would have sensed if something like that happened I do govern the sun of the planet.”
Luna was frustrated “no listen its far off and its fast it could destroy canterlot if it hits with full force!” she was frantic at this point “hurry its within the solar system”.
Celestia sighed “damnit Luna fine ill humor you shining strengthen your shield and add a cushioning spell to.”
Luna was still mad that her sister didn’t believe her. She counted to herself the time this creature would hit.
I was gaining more and more speed and I had about two seconds till I entered the atmosphere. A fiery aura surrounded me and I knew had hit the atmosphere. I sighed to myself “well I knew my death would be bad but this is an understatement.”
Celestias eyes shot open and she almost screamed “twilight use the elements to make a shield now!”
Twilight didn’t waste any time activating the link with her friends then four bubbles surrounded canterlot.
Then it came the impact I couldn’t feel it but their was a lot of force and I felt the what I was under start cracking. I turned my head to see four bubbles the first one shattering. Then I fell through and the second and third bubbles quickly shattered but the last one was putting up a fight but it finally broke and I continued falling slower but still to fast to survive. I broke through what I thought was a marble ceiling then there was a blast as I hit the ground. This time I stopped. I felt a terrible pain im my leg and saw something that I knew would probably kill me, a jagged piece of marble had impaled my shin and I was bleeding. I stood just barely and looked around some kind of cartoon characters were backed against the wall but one. I think it was there god. I tried to walk but I fell down I reached out to the white god and muttered “help please”. then my vision clouded and I passed out.
The princess took no time in calling her medic and she quickly got to work saving this strange creature, she hoped it would be okay she wanted to study it.
I woke up with a terrible hangover, did I go to the bar after work, wait no I didn’t I fell in a hole and fell through space or some shit. I opened my eyes to see a nurse in the corner of the room doing something and I spoke groggily “h- hey where am I miss?”
She turned around with lightning speed “oh good your awake ill go get the princess.” and she sped off.
A moment later three things walked in the white one tallest the blue one medium and the pink one was about the size of the nurse. The blue one spoke first “what are you and how did you survive that!” she growled. Ok I thought I need to be careful that one is hostile.
The white one said “sorry about my sister Luna she likes to rush things unlike me, oh and what is your name before we go on?” I thought to myself that I could trust this one.
I said “m- my name I c- cant remember hell I can remember anything about my life but my name I just cant.” this is bad why cant I remember my damn name.
The white one said again “well that’s fine but I need to know how you broke through four god tier shields and a marble roof?” I looked at her and thought.
“im sorry but I don’t know please forgive me I just fell in to a hole and then this whole mess happened I just want to go back home to my wife and kids, please can you help?” I thought about my kids and who would take care of them now.
The pink one looked at me and said “well we can clear this up soon but first im going to heal you so you can leave.” I though well shit these things can heal me that’s good.
She worked her magic im calling it and a moment later I was standing and stretching my legs and arms. We starting walking out of the infirmary and the nurse gave me the weirdest look ever but I didn’t really care. Celestia floated a bag with all the items I had with me. I stopped on a bench to go through and I found something im damn happy to have, my mp3 player four sets of batteries and ear buds.
I looked at the god and said “hey thanks for not tinkering with this if you want Ill show you how it works.”
The white and pink god said nothing but the blue one said “I would like to see how this strange device works please show us.” I nodded not questioning the way she spoke.
I held my mp3 up and showed her how to turn it on and increase and decrease the volume and change songs then I gave her an ear bud and she looked surprised to hear music. She almost yelled “what is this sorcery!?” I laughed and said.
“its ok that’s just music from earth it’s a way we can listen to hundreds of songs in our pockets.”
She looked puzzled and said “interesting but how many songs could these devices hold?”
I thought and said “well that’s just an mp3 there are other sound files but there are other forms of files and this is a small storage device but a computer can hold thousands.”
Celestia said “well lets get moving I need to show our visitor here something important and he might be able to use it.”
The pink one said “wait are you refering to it?”
The white one said again “yes I am now lets get going please.”
I noticed something I don’t know there names at all so I said “hey before we continue what are names?”
The white one said “im celestia she is Luna and she is cadence just use those names please we don’t need formalities.” I nodded and we continued to walk down the hall. And I stopped again and looked in a room and said.
“hey guys what’s going on in there it looks like a party?” I asked having not been to a party in a while I wanted to go in.
Celestia was frustrated and said “fine ill be back im going to get the thing I need you to see.”
We waited for about thirty seconds and she had a ring but it was weird it seemed to be made of a bad of gears like you could twist it, celestia gave me the ring and said “well what do you think it is?”
I honestly didn’t know but it looked like it would fit me so I did what any other hovian would do I shouted “ALOZNI!” and put the ring on my finger and a hologram appeared it was a human from my future and there past I guess it said “to all human survivors this ring can revive humanity but under certain conditions and only them if they pass your screwed but in the mean time you can use this ring to copy the abilities of any living organism as long as you want, goodbye and god bless you.’ the figure said with a salute.
I turned to celestia and said “did you know about this celestia?” she shook her head and said.
“you’re the only one who has gotten this to work anon.” she was still curious “but that thing about abilities I want you to try that on discord here his powers are easy to control but hard to master.”
I looked at the cluster fuck of a god and shrugged pointing the ring at him a glow emitted from it consumed discord and then it was gone. I didn’t feel different.
Discord looked at me and said “oh it worked I can tell because I see chaos and your full of it now, now what I want you to do is will your body into the shape of the letter Q can you do that for me.
I nodded and willed my body and seconds later I was done and looked like a Q.
I then said “hey if you don’t mind there is a party going on and I haven’t been to a party In a long time so lets go please.”
Celestia said “ok but I want you to meet my student and her friend they will be here In an hour.” I nodded an walked through the door and I should’ve thought this through because all these ponies is were just staring and one who was dressed like a prince said
“oh look what we have here it appears to be a bigger freak show than discord himself.” he said smugly, so I put in my ear buds and I grabbed some food and I sat down.
A moment later I felt an annoyance in the back of my head but I ignored it but then I felt the music my ears die I look to see a floating sword of energy the prince which is my guess what he is said
“hey freak im talking to you now if you don’t answer im getting you sent to the dungeon for a year!” the ponies and guards shared nervous looks. I just kept eating then I felt a sharp pain on my head and a trickle of blood started to fall on my plate of food.
I stood up and said “you just ruined my only form of entertainment in this Technicolor hell then hit me on the head with a plate, WHO IN THE NAME OF FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!”
He replied mockingly “im the prince of equestria and you cant lay a-
“ファルコンパンチ!!” I yelled as I punched this fucker right in the nose and sent him flying he crashed into a wall leaving a crater as guards rushed to him and surrounded me. I looked at the guards and said “oh come on we all know that idiot deserved it so leave me in peace before I lose it, I just became conscious ten minutes ago and I don’t want to be killed this quickly now please bugger off.”
One of the guards wearing fancy amour said “that may be true but we have to serve or superiors at all costs!” he stood tall and proud I liked that.
“May I ask your name sir?” I said I needed to know who this stallion was.
He responded with “my name is shining amour captain of the royal guard squad!”
I nodded “seems legit, ok amour I challenge you to a duel if I win I can go free if you win you can do whatever you want but remember I have discords power at the moment so think about this.”
He looked around and the guards were whispering I knew his answer he had pride and he wasn’t going to lose it. He said “fine I accept your challenge lets go.”
He drew his sword with magic and I created my favorite weapon, the scythe and I saw all the guards back away I said “you get one chance now please just take it and I wont kill blue blood ok.”
He pondered this and said “ok ill let you go but on one condition, you keep that ring off until you leave the castle.”
I responded with “ok but if I get into a fight im going to put it on.”
He replied “deal now please go away the guests are scared.”
I looked at the scared guests and said “ok well im going to get a plate of food im hungry as hell.” I walked down the hall with no aim for were I was going but I guess I found the entrance to the castle and was starting to walk out when celestia called out
“oh hey there you are the ponies I want you to meet got here early come here please.” she was standing bye six ponies and something else maybe a dragon but I walked up to them and said
“hello there what are your names?” the blue one took flight and stared me right in the eyes and said
“tell us your name first, are you a spy!” I looked at here bored now
“umm well first I don’t know my name second no im not and third who is the smart one of the group she will probably be able to help me unlike you and your useless questions.”
The group was just shocked and they had a reason to the purple one spoke “up well that would be me but because I smart it doesn’t mean rainbow dash cant help you.”
I looked at her and said “her name is rainbow dash.” and I broke out into a fit of laughter.
This rainbow dash said “whats so funny about my name its not like you can remember yours what if its dumb!” I stopped laughing and said
“because I know my name wont sound like it came from a kids TV show.” she didn’t know what that was but knew it was an insult and as I predicted a hoof went for my face and I caught it before it was even a threat. Everyone just stopped and time stood still, I quickly put on my ring and analyzed the Pegasus. And as I expected I grew wings. I said “well I see you have wings if you like to race I challenge you to a race!”
She glared at me and I just kept my smirk she said “fine but if I win you leave equestria forever!” the group and the surrounding ponies gasped and celestia said
“rainbow stop now this not right he just woke up less than an hour ago!” I looked at the group and said
“I accept because there is zero percent chance of her victory, and im not even going to get her to do anything after I win this, now were Is a place were races are held because im ready.
A moment later we were at a race track and I was behind the starting line then I just let go of the wings and they weren’t there anymore, and I said “im not going to use my wings to further insult you and anything with wings.” now the crowd was in pure aw cameras were posted everywhere trying to catch this.
Rainbow said “ha you don’t have a chance on foot!”
The announcer spoke up “ok every pony lets the race begin!”
And rainbow was off, only rainbow I just stood there charging discords power and right before rainbow crossed the finish line BOOM! I was back were I started but with a blue ring of flames were my direction of running was. Rainbow dash just stood there then passed right out.
