Backwoods Equine Lovin'

by Layzrfyzt

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Crossover, Human, Slice of Life
Length: 871

A story of life, love, and gettin' 'er done.

This was a suggestion by one of my friends on Facebook. I told someone to give me a random ship and i'd write about it, and they threw up "Fluttershy X Larry The Cable Guy", so here we are. This probably won't be finished.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-01 22:52:53 UTC

Chapter 1

Fluttershy finally finished applying a bandage to the abdomen of that silly little snake who always seemed to get himself into trouble. This time, he had wrapped himself around a cactus.

"Now, you be very careful from now on, Mr. Snake. Next time, you might even have to get a time out! Those cactuses are very, very dangerous, and you shouldn't be playing around them. Now go on, go home. It's time for supper, you know."

The snake let out a happy little hissss and went on home to his hole.

After that was done, Fluttershy closed and locked the small animal door on her house. She needed to relax, and badly.

Wow, today was such a busy day!, she thought to herself, while drawing a bubble bath. Four little bunnies got separated from their parents, Mr. Alligator swallowed an alarm clock, and then Mr. Snake and his fetish for those cactuses!  She turned the water off, lit some candles, and slipped down into the silky, warm water of her tub. The soap smelled of lilacs.

She was enjoying herself thoroughly, and was nearly asleep when there was a sharp knock on her front door. Now who could that possibly be? Everypony in Ponyville is asleep at this time of night!

There was another knock, louder and sharper than before. Right as Fluttershy was exiting the tub and wrapping her hair in a towel to see what all the commotion was, Angel picked the lock to the bathroom.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Angel, I'm not decent!"

Angel gave Fluttershy a derisive look, and then averted his eyes.

"Okay, I'm ready now. You can turn around!~"

Fluttershy had finished wrapping her hair in a towel and had donned a bathrobe. Angel wondered if she really thought that getting out of the tub was any different from walking around nude every day, but it didn't really matter. More pressing matters were at hand. Angel pointed impatiently at the door, tapping his foot.

"Right, the door. I'll get it, don't worry. That's why I was getting out of the tub, silly!"

Fluttershy trotted out of the bathroom and up to the door, her hoof resting on the doorknob.

"Once our guest leaves, we're going to have to have a serious talk about you picking the lock on that door. It's fine for emergencies, but if you teach Snips and Snails how to do it again..."

A third knock was upon them, cutting Fluttershy short. A loud, obnoxious Southern accent, not unlike that of Hayseed Turnip-Truck's, could be heard from the other side.

"Please, man, open this door! I-I'm hurt real bad, and I need some food or I think I'm gonna starve to death, but it's better than livin' with my mother-in-law, haw-haw-aww, man, it hurts to laugh."

Fluttershy gasped. "That poor pony's in trouble! I'm not the greatest with ponies, but the hospital is so far from here... I'll have to do what I can! Angel, please go get the bandages and antiseptic."

Angel hopped off, quick as something that's not a rabbit, but equally as fast.

Fluttershy opened the door, expecting to find a wounded pony, but instead...

Chapter 2

There was an obese primate-type-creature, dressed in a plaid marebeater, workhorse jeans, a belt with a large rebel flag for a belt buckle, and a ripped-up hat, emblazoned with the 'words' "Git-R-Done". It had large amounts of facial hair, and was lying on her doorstep covering a large gash in its arm with its hand. Fluttershy was taken aback. She had never seen this type of animal before.

She asked, "Are you okay, little- uh, not-so-little guy?"

It replied in the heaviest of accents, "Naw, man! I got this real bad cut in mah arm! Can ya fix it? Ya sound like a nurse." He, of course, hadn't turned around and seen that she was not a human, but instead a large yellow talking candy pony.

"Well, I'll try. Do you think you can stand up and make it over to the couch?"

"Ah'll try." Ya might have to help me, though. I think ah twisted mah ankle, too.

He stood up, and was about to fall over, but Fluttershy quickly (so quickly, in fact, that her bathrobe and towel flew off) darted under him so he could ride her like a horse. The primate was too in shock to realize that he was riding a talking pony.

They went over to the couch, and Fluttershy laid him carefully down. Angel handed her a needle and thread, and some antiseptic and bandages, and got the gash closed up in a jiffy. She went over and grabbed an ice-pack from her freezer for his ankle.

"Thank... thank you...", he wheezed, obviously out of energy.

"Not a problem. I'll leave some hay and a glass of water out in case you get hungry, and you can sleep here tonight. Come find my bedroom if you have any problems, okay?"

"Yeah... th-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*sccchhhhhh*ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*sccchhhh*" He had fallen asleep in the middle of his sentence, immediately starting in with an obnoxiously loud snore. Aww, he's so tired,  Fluttershy thought. Better leave him to rest. She went on to her bedroom, put on some noise-blocking earmuffs, and went to sleep.