Horses Don't F*cking Talk
Horses Don't F*cking Talk
"Hello... Mister Shepard. You seem to have... lost your, way. Times have... changed, now. That... incident has changed the... world. Maybe you should find... a new job. You should become a... Free Man."
Adrian Shepard stared at the strange man in front of him, unable to move. He felt his rifle still in his arms, so he still had at least one weapon with him. The vague flickering of his heads-up display indicated that his Personal Combat Vest had 86% charge left. The last thing he remembered was watching the Black Mesa Research Facility get destroyed by the nuclear warhead left behind by the Black Ops. And... him. He was in the Osprey with Adrian. He put him in... wherever he was, and left. Every so often, he would visit Adrian and give him glimpses of the real world. Giant towers over several cities, sometimes soldiers wearing a strange type of gas mask, strange abominations attacking humans, Gordon Freeman. If it weren't for Freeman, Black Mesa wouldn't have been destroyed, and Adrian probably would be fighting in God knows where. Not in Black Mesa, and especially not for the HECU, that's for sure.
The man smirked slightly, and left through a portal in the Osprey’s cockpit that suddenly appeared out of thin air. Adrian felt his eyes growing heavier and heavier, when he suddenly heard chanting.
'Vortigaunts. Great.' He thought to himself, unable to talk.
The cockpit portal opened once more, and in came two Vortigaunts, who immediately took notice of Shepard. Unlike normal ones, these two were glowing purple. They walked in front of him, and pushed their claws against his chest. Instead of killing him, however, their electrical powers boosted his PCV's power to 150%, and a bright white flash occurred, enveloping Adrian inside of it.
"The Shepard has been freed from the clutches of The-" One Vortigaunt began, but Adrian never heard the rest, being drowned out by a loud static sound.
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Adrian awoke with a shudder, shocked at the actions of the Vortigaunts. Last time he encountered them, they tried to kill him. Now they recharged his vest and freed him. He opened his eyes, noticing that his helmet laid in the Osprey’s troop bay, with his M4 laying next to it. Every muscle in the marine's body ached, but he was alive. That was something. Ignoring the plea for rest that his body gave, Adrian attempted to stand. It took several tries, but he finally stood at his full height. Laughing quietly to himself over his impressive survival, he slowly walked over to his helmet and rifle, and inspected the rest of his armor. He still had his combat knife, Glock 17, and SPAS-12, but was lacking the rest of his weapons, including his trusty pipe wrench.
"Goddammit." He muttered.
Adrian looked around, surveying the interior of the transport. Gazing through the windshield, he noticed that instead of the inky blackness of wherever he was before, he was landed. Grabbing his weapons and armor, he exited the Osprey through its side door, hoping he could find an indicator of where he was.
Noting the apple trees planted everywhere, Adrian figured that farm was probably nearby. He gathered his gear, and put on his helmet. His armor was still boosted beyond it's normal range, and rested at 150%. If any more of those damned aliens arrived, he would have an edge. His ammo indicator showed that he still had a comfortable amount of rounds in his M4 as well. He holstered his weapons, and started walking. The trees were all apple trees, by the looks of it. Quietly, Adrian picked an apple off of a low-hanging branch, examined it, and took a greedy bite, happy that it wasn't a bland MRE. He quickly finished it, and dropped the core on the ground. Plucking two more apples from the tree, he continued walking, trying to find the owner of the farm while still staying close to the HECU transport.
Several minutes passed, and Adrian finished the final apple. Happy that his stomach was full, he sat at the base of a large tree, and looked up. The sky wasn't overrun with strange alien aircraft, nor fighter jets. It was very peaceful. Better then having to shoot his way through (literally) walls of aliens to escape Black Mesa. A nearby clopping sound broke him out of his trance.
'Good, that must be the farmer.'
He stood up, and removed his gas mask, which he clipped onto his belt. The sound got closer, when he heard a very human voice. Female, by the sound of it.
"C'mon, Big Mac, the noise came from this way!"
Keeping his rifle in his hand, he waited for the farmer to find him. Apparently, they heard the giant fucking helicopter appear in their farm. A minute passed, when a small orange horse appeared. The oddest thing about it was the fact that it was wearing a hat on its head. It looked nothing like the horses he knew of. It's eyes had a very human-like appearance, with the look of fear in them. It began to back away when another horse ran forward, this one red.
The orange one stared in disbelief at the Osprey sitting in a large clearing. He almost found its comical, until he noticed a large red blur in the corner of his eyes.
It caught Adrian off guard, and ran into his side, knocking his rifle from his arms. He quickly recovered, and pulled the knife from his vest. The impact had been lessened by his armour, luckily. The charge now read 138%. Before the red horse could charge him again, he felt something around his midsection. The orange one had thrown a lasso around him. Adrian looked back up, just in time to see two back hooves connect with his chest, knocking the wind out of him. Adrian fell backwards to the ground, which caused the shotgun on his back to discharge into a nearby tree, apparently scaring the two horses with the noise. This gave him enough time to cut himself free. Not wasting a second, he bolted away from the still-shocked horses.
"It's gettin' away!" The orange one exclaimed, but it was too late. Adrian was already gone.
He ran as fast as his body would allow, away from the strange horses. He took a sharp right, and found a small tool shed. Not thinking twice, he threw open the door, and hid inside.
"Okay, what the hell? Those horses were talking!" He quietly yelled to himself. Adrian looked around, and noticed that one thing was missing.
"Oh shit. They have my rifle."
He pulled out his radio. Luckily, it was still charged. Quietly, he tuned it to the HECU broadcast channel.
"This is Corporal Adrian Shepard, does anyone read? I repeat. This is United States Marine Corporal Adrian Shepard, can anyone hear me?" Only static met him back. "Fuck. This is going to be harder than I thought."
After putting his radio back into a pouch, he drew his shotgun, and slowly opened the door to the shed. He heard more voices this time. Probably more horses. He snuck through the trees, when one of the horses came into view. Sneaking a quick look, this one was purple, and had wings and a horn.
'I'm in Candyland, aren't I?'
He crept up to it, until it was on the opposite side of the trees from him. Quickly, Adrian spun around the tree, and clamped his hand over its muzzle. He put his shotgun on the ground as the horse started to yell. He put one finger against his mouth, and made a shushing sound.
"I won't hurt you. Just stop yelling." It nodded. "I'm going to let go no. Don't. Yell."
He released his hand, and instantly reached back for the shotgun.
"Now, I have three questions for you. Where am I, what are you, and where is my rifle?"
"We're in E-Equestria. I'm a p-pony. And I don't k-know what a r-rifle is."
"Of course you don't. And you are not a pony. I know what a pony looks like. They're not purple, or have horns and wings, or fucking talk."
Before he could ask any more questions, something collided with the back of his skull, knocking him unconscious. He heard the purple one talk, but she sounded far away. His eyes struggled to stay open, but finally succumbed to the head wound.
