Love Muffin

by RandomRedneck

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Dinky Hooves, Derpy Hooves
Length: 2297

Dinky Hooves seeks out a Hearts and Hooves date for her mother, Derpy Hooves.

With Hearts and Hooves Day fast approaching, Dinky Hooves is concerned over her lonesome mother finding a pony to take her out. With a little list in tow, the filly sets out about town, trying to find a Mr. Right for Derpy.

Published 2013-05-10 11:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-10 11:00:02 UTC

Love Muffin

It was that time of year again in Ponyville. The familiar lovey-dovey feeling was being felt all over town. Yes, Hearts and Hooves day was fast approaching. Couples all over town were already getting into the spirit of things, preparing for romantic dates and such. The holiday was particularly on the mind of one little filly on her way home from school, though not for the reason you’d think. Dinky Hooves had no interest in colts yet. She’d made that very clear to that annoying one from Trottingham. No, she was more concerned for...

“Mom, I’m home! Mom?”

Stepping into the living room of her house, she spotted her(Currently napping) mother, the bubble flanked, and slightly bubble headed, Derpy Hooves, snoozing happily, with an empty mail bag still slung over her shoulder.

“I keep telling her she shouldn’t nap on the couch. Mom, wake up....mom? Mom...MOM!”

The slightly irritated filly’s shouting didn’t do anything;Her mother always was a heavy sleeper.

“She asked for it...”

Taking a few cautionary steps back, she cupped her hooves together and shouted...

“Mom, your muffins are burning!”

There weren’t any burning muffins. But that didn’t really matter. Dinky had said the magic words.

“My muffins!”

The snoozing mailmare shot awake, and jetted into the kitchen. Dinky simply stood where she was.

“3, 2, 1...”

The bobbled eyed mare popped back into the living room, slightly annoyed that there weren’t actually any muffins, but smiling anyway.

“That was a dirty trick, you know.”

Dirty trick or not, Derpy hugged the little Unicorn anyway, before plopping back down on the couch.

“Welcome home. Did you have fun at school today?”

Taking a seat beside her, Dinky rolled her eyes.

“School is never fun, mom. Everypony knows that. It was just another boring lesson on getting your Cutie Mark, and something about Hearts and Hooves day. The exact same thing they did about it last year.”

The typical lecture on the holiday was boring, but had piqued Dinky’s curiosity. In all the time since she was adopted by Derpy, at least, she figured as much. Didn’t make much sense to her that a lavender unicorn could come from a gray Pegasus, Dinky couldn’t recall ever seeing her mother involved with anypony, not even on Hearts and Hooves Day. It couldn’t hurt to ask about it at least.

“Hey, mom, I’ve been wondering. How come you’re always by yourself on Hearts and Hooves Day? Is it hard to find a date or something?”

Her question seemed to catch Derpy a little off guard. It took her a few moments to respond.

“Well, honey... I’m just... busy. Yeah. Hearts and Hooves Day is a busy mail day, what with all the cards and chocolates there are to deliver.”

The filly looked at her confusedly.

“But mom... don’t ponies usually give the cards and stuff to each other themselves? That’s kind of the whole point of the holiday.”

Derpy looked from Dinky, to a wall, to anything that could get her out of this conversation.

“Well, you see, I just... it’s not important.”

She quickly rose from the couch, and fluttered back into the kitchen. Dinky, determined to get an answer, followed behind her.

“Is something bothering you, mom? You seem really hesitant to even talk about this. Do you not have enough money to afford chocolates or something?”

Derpy did her level best to ignore Dinky’s current line of questioning, and did a passable job. A little too passable, as trying to drown it out distracted her from where she was floating. Right into the pots and pans hanging up in the kitchen.

“Mom, watch out where you’re...!”

Derpy smacked into the various pots and pans hanging up, falling to the ground with a sound thud, and a pot on her head.

“Mom!”

Quickly running over to her, she lifted the pot off her head, and was greeted to a face equal parts annoyed, and sad.

“Are you alright?”

The clumsy Pegasus shook her head, not bothering to stand back up.

“No, I’m not alright. This is why I’m always alone on Hearts and Hooves Day. This is why I’m alone the rest of the year. Because I’m the town klutz. That dippy mare, with the bobbly eyes. The floating disaster area that wrecked town hall. It’s been like this ever since I was a filly. The clumsy, not very bright pony, who didn’t get a card, or chocolates, or anything. And considering I’ve barely changed since then, it would probably be exactly the same today. I know my reputation around town very well...”

Dinky let out a stubborn huff, and helped her mom back up.

“Well, what’s the point in not trying? I’m sure there are plenty of nice stallions in town who’d...”

Derpy raised her hoof to cut her off.

“Sweetie, I love you, but please, can we stop talking about this? I know you mean well, but I just don’t want to talk about this.”

The little filly sighed, and nodded in agreement.

“Alright, mom. I won’t bring it up again.”

Depry gave her another hug, and smiled.

“Thank you”, she huffed, “Now, what do you want for dinner?”

The rest of the day passed without any further incident, save for Derpy getting her tail stuck in the window. Dinky simply lay awake in bed, her mom already fast asleep in her own room.

I feel bad for her. Mom is one of the nicest ponies in town. She shouldn’t have to be alone because of her reputation. Actually, that could be a problem.

Much as she didn’t like to admit, it was true. Derpy was rather well known as the klutz around town.

“Feh. Reputation, schmeputation. She deserves to have someone be nice to her on Hearts and Hooves Day, just like everypony else. There’s gotta be one pony in town who would go with her, and I’m gonna find him!”

The next day wasn’t a school day, meaning Dinky was free to begin her search for the elusive date for Derpy. Looking over the list she had written the previous night, she stuffed it inside her saddlebag and set off on her search. The first choice was obvious. As she skipped through town, she spotted option number 1. Big Macintosh. She’d heard a few mares around town talk about the strapping farm pony. Couldn’t hurt to ask.

“Excuse me, Mr. Big Macintosh?”

The massive stallion looked down at Dinky.

“Eeyup.”

Dinky took a step back. He was actually kind of intimidating at his size.

“Uh...hi! My name is Dinky Doo. And I have something I’d like to ask you.”

Big Mac raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything.

“You see, Hearts and Hooves Day is coming up. And I heard you haven’t asked anypony out yet.”

An odd look of concern started to creep onto his face.

“And my mama, Derpy, doesn’t have one either. So, I was kinda wondering if you’d ask her out.”

Big Mac thought back to the last time a little filly had approached him about Hearts and Hooves Day. One could almost see the color drain from his face.

“Look over there!”

Pointing behind her, Dinky turned to see what he was talking about. As it turned out, nothing. Before she could turn back around, the Stallion took off in the other direction at breakneck speed.

“Well, that was kind of rude. He could have just said he wasn’t interested.”

Pulling the list from her bag, she crossed his name off.

“Let’s see who’s up next...

Looking around for her second option, Dinky spied some rainbow maned pony at a nearby food cart.

“Rainbow mane? Oh, I know her. Rainbow Dash. Excuse me, Ms. Rainbow Dash!”

The Pegasus turned to see who was shouting her name.

“Well, hi there, squirt. What’s your name? Looking for an autograph or something?”

Dinky stuffed her list away, putting on her best “Butter them up” smile.

“Not exactly, no. You know Derpy Hooves, right? Grey pony, clumsy, funny eyes.”

Dash grimaced a little.

“Yes, I’m a little too familiar with her. Nearly fried me with a lightning bolt once. Why do you ask?”

Dinky had to think for a second. There was a word she was looking for. Started with a “D”

“Well, you’re a...uh...d-...d-...Oh, you’re a dork, right?”

Dash narrowed her eyes at Dinky.

“Did you just call me a dork?”

She gave an oblivious nod.

“I hear lots of ponies around town call you that. That’s why I was wondering if you’d mind asking my mama out for Hearts and Hooves Day.”

Dash looked both insulted, and really confused.

“Back up, kid. When you hear ponies call me ‘Dork’, what do they usually talk about?”

Dinky thought back a little to the last time she’d heard somepony talking about Dash.

“Well, they say it means you ‘Fly on the opposite side of the sky’ and that for some reason, you ‘Like tacos” or something like that. Ooh, Mama likes tacos too. You could take her out for some!”

Dash slowly put it together. And couldn’t hide the blush currently filling her cheeks.

“Kid, I gotta go.”

She jetted off into the sky, leaving a confused Dinky standing there.

“Huh. Maybe she’s allergic to tacos or something.”

One snack stop later, Dinky checked the time. It was nearing the afternoon now.

“Ugh. This shouldn’t be this hard. I mean, geez. There’s bound to be one willing pony in this town.”

Brushing some hair out of her face, she spotted contestant number 3.

“He looks nice. Excuse me, sir?”

The sir in question was a yellow pony in a cowboy hat.

“Well, howdy there, little missy. What can I do for you?”

Rubbing her ears a little due to the volume of his voice, she smiled at him.

“My name is Dinky Hooves. And...oh, sorry. Who are you?”

He tipped his hat to the filly.

“My name is Braeburn. I’m here in Ponyville visiting family. And what are you up to?”

An out of town visitor. Perfect.

“Well, I know this is kind of weird to ask a total stranger, but...are you single? Cause Hearts and Hooves Day is coming up. And I was wondering...”

Braeburn held a hoof up to silence her.

“Well, that’s awful nice of you missy, but I’m a little bit old for you. Besides, I’ve already got me a lady waiting back in AAAAAAAPPPPPLLLLLLEEEEOOOOSSSSSAAA!!!”

On second thought, maybe it was a good thing he was taken. One date with him was probably a risk to a ponies hearing.

“Sorry to bother you then. Oh, and a little advice?”

She motioned for him to lower his head a little.

“LEARN TO STOP YELLING EVERY TIME YOU SAY SOMETHING!”

Letting out a huff, and leaving a confused Braeburn behind, she went searching for the next victim.

“Nope.”
“No thanks.”
“I’d sooner date a Manticore.”

This had officially become a futile effort.

“Well, at least I tried. Still, it’s too bad there isn’t one nice pony who’d say yes.”

Balling up her list and tossing it in the nearest garbage can, she prepared to make her way home. Before she could get very far, somepony tapped her on the shoulder. That somepony, was her slightly annoyed looking mother.

“I’ve been looking all over town for you. What is this I’ve been hearing about you bothering stallions all over town about me not having a Hearts and Hooves Day date?”

Dinky pawed at the ground, not looking her in the eye.

“I don’t know. You just seemed so sad yesterday. And I figured I could find somepony who would go with you. And you’d stop being so sad. I’m sorry.”

Derpy let out a sigh, and gave the chastised looking filly a kiss on the forehead.

“Not that I don’t appreciate you trying to help, but you can’t just walk up to total strangers and ask something like that. It just doesn’t work that way.”

Or maybe it did.

“Pardon me, Miss? You wouldn’t happen to be Derpy Hooves, would you?”

Turning to see who was addressing her, Derpy was greeted to the sight of a handsome brown stallion, with an hourglass cutie mark.

“Uh...um...”

Dinky gave her a quick nudge to snap her to her senses.

“Yes. Uh, yes I am.”

The mystery pony smoothed his hair back a little.

“Well, glad I found you. Time Turner, at your service. And if you’re Derpy, then this little one must be Dinky. You’ve been causing quite a stir about town today.”

Dinky couldn’t help but look proud when he said that.

“I’ve been hearing of a youngster trying to find a Hearts and Hooves Day companion for her mother. And I must say, I can’t see how somepony so lovely hasn’t found one yet.”

Derpy’s eye actually straightened up for a few moments after hearing that. She wasn’t used to this kind of flattery.

“Anyway, I have yet to find one myself. And since I happened upon you, how about you be my Hearts and Hooves date?”

Derpy had to resist the urge to drop her jaw open. Dinky once again gave her a nudge.

“YES! ...I mean, yes. That would be nice, Mr. Time Turner.”

He gave a nod.

“Lovely. I look forward to seeing you. Until then, pleasure to meet you Ms. Hooves. Have a pleasant day.”

As he walked off, Derpy finally let her jaw drop.

“So, still think it doesn’t work that way?”

Derpy simply rolled her eyes.

“Oh, quiet you. And thank you, sweetie. Well, seems I’m not the only pony getting some attention.”

Raising an eyebrow, Dinky spied Pipsqueak strolling up.

“Hello again, Dinky.”

The filly simply facehoofed.

“Not again...”

The end.

Thanks for reading.