Cursorial Hunter

“I don't have time for this,” Yards McCanter snorted. “The fate of Equestria-”

“Can wait one day.” Delta's tone was slightly patronizing. The changeling had swapped her default form to that of a pegasus with a fuchsia coat and a lavender mane and tail. Her cutie mark was a comet with two stars above and one below the tail. Her mane was extra long, with tresses, but her tail was short and almost shared the form of fire.

“When the world is covered in Smooze, you'll think 'wait a day',” he muttered under his breath.

“Yards, please,” Apple Rhubarb cooed, trying to sooth over his anger. “It's just one day.” Her magenta eyes begged through her red and pink bangs. It was not a good thing that she was hanging out with a mind manipulating changeling. Her exploitation skills were getting better.

They were outside the main house at Sweet Apple Acres. Toffee Chips had found out about Lyra's new book release: Cursorial Hunter. Not only would she be signing copies of her latest Opus, but they would be introducing the cast of the movie they were making of her first book: Thumbs. The mares were ecstatic. Delta, Toffee and Apple Rhubarb had planned out a trip to Canterlot to spend the day full of were-human debauchery. There was just one wrinkle:

He sighed. “Why not let Delta take-”

“Oh there is NO way I'm missing getting to meet the stallion playing Brilliant Lance.” She swooned slightly. “I'm hoping it's Chuck Wagon.” She growled appreciatively.

“Sweetie Swirl?”

“Is at the market, doing her job,” said Apple.

“The train is leaving soon; we need to go now.” Toffee added. Her wings gave her an elevated position that allowed her to see the smoke plumes of the train station.

“Alright,” Yards sighed. The mares squealed.

“Wow, look at you! How many stallions can say they pleased three mares at once?” Delta kissed his left, spotted cheek, and grabbed her bag, heading out the gate.

“Thanks,” Apple beamed “Now Rhu needs to go to bed around 8 so she will actually be in bed by 9. There's some dinner mixes in the cabinet by the stove.”

“It'll be okay,” he assured her.

She kissed his other cheek and grabbed her bags as well.

“Do you need anything from Canterlot?” asked Toffee with a sigh.

“Nah, well, nah, it'd get cold by then. Thanks anyway. Go meet your author.”

She smiled happily and leaned down to kiss him, missing the top of his head and hitting the side of his horn. She blushed deeply then flew away.

“Why was she embarrassed?”

The light green unicorn turned around to find his charge, Rhubarb Salad, wiping the rheum out of her pink eyes with the sleeves of her floral footie pajamas.

“Some ponies mistake a unicorn's horn for an ero-er-er, no-no zone.” Yards still had trouble talking to children, even though he'd been around her for quite a while now.

“It's naught?”

“Well...ask your mother.” He turned and walked into the house.

“She's naught a unicorn,” she followed behind him into the kitchen.

Yards tied to deflect her question. “Pancakes?” he asked while levitating a box.

She beamed while jumping in place. “Yay! Can you add strawberries in the inside?”

He looked around for knives and fruit. “Okay.”

“So why do they think it's a no-no zone?”

He sighed. “Alright, if your mother asked I did NOT tell you, okay?”

She nodded and poked herself in the eye.

He started floating the things around him, measuring out mix and water while holding a whisk at the ready. He enjoyed having multiple things floating around him. If nothing else it helped hide him from his charge while he talked about a delicate subject.

“Well, you know how unicorns use their horns for magic, right?”

She nodded while she retrieved the syrup.

“Do you want anything else in here?”

“Strawberries.”

“I've got that.”

“Peanut butter.”

“On the inside?”

“Inside the two.”

“Well, that answers the next question.”

“What about da horn?”

“Well...those, the horn, it's a focus. It focuses all the power of our bodies, spirits and minds into one point. If it goes out that way things can go in, too.”

“So why is it wrong when Toffee does it, but not when Delta does?”

He flipped the pancake with the spatula. Moving a spatula was easier than lifting a semi-liquid like a half raw pancake. “Well, Delta feeds off of emotions, so using my horn makes it easier for her to draw it out. She's not putting something in. See,” he put the pancake on the plate and poured out the next one. “Sometimes when a couple is, uh, well, playing around...one of them will grab the horn and inject..ah...feelings or emotions.

“Do you want juice or milk?”

“Coffee!”

“Yeah, not happening.”

She pouted.

“Chocolate milk?” She smiled again. While the other pancake cooked he poured her a glass. She climbed onto the table.

“Well, not everypony understands the intricacies of unicorn flirtations. It's not the act of playing with my horn, it's the intent behind it that makes it naughty.” With a peanut butter flourish he presented the two pancakes to his ward. He cut them up real quick for her then floated the fork down to her.

“I can do it myself,” she pouted.

“Sorry. Let's get the boring stuff out of the way first. After you eat and get out of your 'jamas, go take care of the critters while I work on the repairs, okay?”

A great gob of sticky maple flavored spit ran down her mouth as she nodded her assent. Foals were so gross.

“I can't believe we're going!” squealed Toffee, the happiness showing in her blue eyes. The three mares were settling down to a table in the dining cart with a light brunch. The ponies each had a melon bowl and the changeling a mimosa. The train lurched as it began to pull away from Ponyville station. The other girls joined into a group shriek of excitement. “I'm finally going to get to meet Ms. Heartstrings.” She pulled a remarkable stack of books out from her bag and dropped them on the table with an authoritarian “THUNK”. “I'm going to have her autograph the entire set for me.”

Delta, who was sitting next to the pegasus, pulled out a double hoofful of tickets. “I've got fifty bits worth of tickets for the chance to win a date with the leading man of the movie.”

“What are you going to do if it's not Chuck?” teased Apple. She was working her new radio in between sticky bites of strawberries, cantaloupe, and watermelon, trying to tune to her favorite station.

Delta glared at the white coated country girl. “That's not funny. It will be Chuck. I will meet him, we will fall in love, and I will have his foals.” She put her hoof to her chest and closed her eyes in a dignified pose. “Yards will just have to understand.”

The other girls giggled.

“I don't think he likes foals.” Apple's tone was slightly sad.

Delta scoffed. “Yards doesn't know what he likes. That's his problem.”

Apple quit fiddling with the knob as a female voice came over the speaker.

“We're here LIVE at the Parchment and Parts with Lyra Heartstrings for the celebration of her NEW book, Cursorial Hunter. I'm sure everypony can understand the excitement, right Bit?”

“No, I'm a straight stallion,” said a bored male voice.

“Well, there's stuff for them here too.” Stammered the female voice, trying to stay on topic. “We've got drinks, prizes-”:

“And lots of lonely, desperate mares.”

The female announcer, audibly flustered, tried to stay on script. “Yes, there's quite the crowd here, and more little ponies are expected. We'll be having more coverage throughout the day as we make big announcements, like who is playing Heart Sworn.”

“Who?”

“That's what we'll find out.”

“Is everything alright?” asked a voice outside the radio. The trio turned to meet their waitress. Her coat was a very dark indigo. Her cutie mark was a silver star with a different color streaming from each point. Her tail was a soft silver that just curled away from the ground, and her mane was tucked under her uniform hat. Her dark blue uniform with gold trim was well pressed with a double shift frump. The jacket stopped just before her wings. Her name tag called her “Starfall.” “Would you like some caramel sauce, or maybe a refill?” Her smile was genuine, if tired. She was pushing a cart with condiments, juices, soft drinks, and niceties.

“I'm good for now, maybe in a few minutes.” Delta answered. Apple took the offered caramel.

“We thank you for traveling ERL and hope you enjoy your trip. If there's anything else you need, just let us know.”

She moved her cart down to the next table and greeted them with a smile. There were a lot of ponies on the train. Everypony who had any disposable income of measure in Ponyville was there, heading to the party in Canterlot. She was a very busy pony. The door opened and more ponies came running in.

That struck the others as odd. That some were shouting “Dear Celestia, they've got guns!” alarmed them.