Colt Of Duty: Magic WarMare 3

by TheDawnMoon

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 2842

A team of pony soliders fight against Queen Chrysalis and her empire in this COD parody

Written by Corey Kaufman. One of the writers of TheDawnMoon. Please rate, comment, and more stories will be on its way. Written because I'm crazy. Big Mac, Cheerilee, and one of my OC's battle the Changeling empire in this parody of the long running shooter series.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-14 01:07:32 UTC

Blank Tuesday

Colt of Duty: Magic WarMare 3

“All magic is based on Friendship!”

Chapter 1: Blank Tuesday

“SHIT, WATCH OUT!” Big Mactavish yells as a rocket is shot at the Jeep.  Too late, he thought as the jeep exploded leaving nothing but body parts as an aftermath. Big Mactavish climbs out of the rubble of what was left of the jeep. M4A1 and XM25 in hand running down the streets of Manehatten. As changelings shoot from the opposite sides of the street, Big Mactavish and his team, Cheeryuri, Bryce, and the rest of the Canterlot army return fire. Adrenaline pumping though Big Mactavish’s veins, he shoots grenades from his XM25 back at the changeling bastards. Buildings crumble above them as Big Mactavish notices a plane crashing into what used to be carrot tops cottage. Carrot top runs out of the crumbling cottage and gets shot straight in the head by a changeling. Big Mactavish can’t help to chuckle a slight “heheyup.” Him and his team finally make it to the steps of the town hall.

“RPG!” Bryce yells as a rocket hits town hall. Big Mactavish looks up at the destruction of town hall. “LEFT FLANK! No pun intended.”

Big Mactavish snaps back to the battlefield and continues to shoot at the changelings.  “GET TO THE BUILDING! WE HAVE TO DESTROY THE JAMMER!”

Big Mactavish, Cheeryuri, and Bryce shoot their way to the building. Big Mactavish slams into the double doors, they don’t open. After many attempts, all end in vain. “Wait, I have an idea,” Cheeryuri exclaims. Walking towards the door, she pushes it open. Bryce facehoofs and Big Mactavish runs in. “PLANT THE C4!” yelled Bryce. Big Mactavish reaches into his saddlebag for the C4, but is all out. He looks around the room noticing a dead changeling body with a rocket that could fit in a RPG. He picks up the rocket, and takes aim at the jammer. He bucked the rocket, and the jammer explodes. But, it wasn’t the rocket that caused the explosion. As the smoke cleared, Big Mactavish sees none other than Princess Luna.

“FEAR NOT YOUNG FOALS, FOR I HAVE DESTROYED THE JAMMER.”

Says Luna in the traditional royal Canterlot voice.

“With what?” Bryce asks.

“WITH this C4 I found, actually.” Luna says. “I found it on the stairs of town hall.” Cheeryuri rolls her eyes at Big Mactavish, Bryce bangs his head on the wall with frustration.

  “ GET TO THA CHOPPA.” They all run to the chopper, when they see that their pilot is Pinkie Pie.

“Are You as excited as I am? I mean I’ve never driven a helicopter before. I mean this is exciting. Except for the time where my plane was hit by a rocket.” Pinkie says in her energetic voice.

“When was that?” Bryce questions. “Now.” Pinkie chirps. “WHAT?!” All of them yell at once. A beeping on the helicopter radar comes on as they all see a rocket come towards them. They all say their final words.

Pinkie starts to chuckle. “It’s not a real rocket silly, it’s a piñata!”

“Where’s the real one?” asked Cheeryuri.

“It’s right here in the cockpit.” Explains Pinkie. “I bet it has candy in it!” says Pinkie. “NO!” the others yell as Pinkie smash the rocket with a baseball bat.  As the helicopter goes down, Pinkie lets out a huge “WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” The helicopter spins out of control and crashes in the Evergreen forest with a loud BANG.

Derped On The Grid

**Colt Of Duty: Magic WarMare 3

Chapter 2:

Derped On The Grid**

As the dust from the wreckage settled, Big Mactavish, Cheeryuri, and Bryce pushed their way out of what was left of the helicopter. “Is everypony ok?” Said Cheeryuri to her team.

“Eeyup,” said Big Mactavish. “But I don’t think Pinkie is.” Said Big Mactavish as he saw Pinkies bloody, torn up body. “At least these guns made it through the crash,” said Big Mactavish as he picked up a M14 EBR Scoped Suppresser, and a suppressed AK-47 with Red Dot Sight. Big Mactavish and his team started to advance through the Evergreen Forest. Suddenly, a voice comes on Big Mactavish’s radio.

“I see your plane crashed upon, so why don’t you come on me, bro?” Said Zecora’s voice through the radio.

“Zecora, is that you? That didn’t even rhyme!” Said Big Mactavish.

“I’m sending my personal army to take siege at Canterlot, so you better take heed, and get the fuck out of there before my army kills you,” said Zecora.

“We’re coming for you, Zecora,” said Big Mac as Bryce climbs a tree, and looks out through his binoculars.

“Uh, Mac? I don’t think it’s a good idea to come rushing. There’s too many of them,” said Bryce.

“Well, then we’re going to have to sneak around them,” suggested Big Mactavish. “I see a factory just up the road,” said Big Mactavish.

“Then let’s go, then.” They continue to traverse the marshy land of the Evergreen Forest, but suddenly, they come up to a small bridge. They stop in the bushes, and take aim at the two guard ponies. Two silenced shots, followed by two splashes from the guard ponies falling into the river. They continued to walk until they come to a small refugee camp that was set up to house the many ponies in Zecora’s military. Cheeryuri taps Big Mac on the shoulder, and points to a sniping tower.

“Get up there, and provide us cover.” Big Mac climbs the ladder, and notices a sleeping pony in the chair. He takes out his knife, and quickly slits the guard pony’s throat. Bryce and Cheeryuri quickly make their way through the camp. They silently take out two guard ponies. Suddenly, a solider is seen from behind them as they left the hut.

“Shit, we’ve been spotted. Switch to your AK! RUN!” Said Cheeryuri All at once, every single solider runs out of their hut and starts firing at the team of ponies. Cheeryuri and Bryce quickly duck into an empty nearby shack and start to return fire. Big Mactavish quickly climbs down from the sniping tower. He met up with the rest of the team and climbs atop a stalled MG truck and returns fire. They continued to shoot their way through the refugee camp as they see a helicopter right outside the local church. They rush into the church and pick off the remaining ponies inside. They find themselves at the last door. A voice comes on the radio again.

“FOALS! What have you done to my army?” said Zecora. They quickly breach the door, and is greeted by the enemy helicopter, right as it’s about to take off.

“Shit! We just missed Zecora!” said Cheeryuri. “See you in Saddle Arabia!”

Iron Will

Colt of Duty Magic WarMare 3

Chapter 4

Iron Will

Pony Team 6, has successfully captured the bombmaker, Lyra Heartstrings, and is proceeding to take her to the extraction point. They must shoot their way through Parasprite, France, with their M4 A1 Grenadier, with red dot sight, and USP.45s.

Big Mactavish looks up at the sky. “I think they’re going down,” says Big Mactavish, pointing at the ship carrying their backup. The plane then crashes on the same block that they’re at.

“Great. We’re walking,” Cheeryuri said sarcastically. Suddenly, what looks like dozens of tanks and gunmen roll up the street, where the team is at.

“Uh, Big Mactavish, we got trouble,” said Bryce as he directs Big Mactavish at the tanks that are ready to fire. “Better call AC-130 support.” Big Mactavish pulls out his communicator, and calls in the AC-130 pilot.

“We’re going to need some support. We got a shitload of tanks down here.” He then sees an AC-130 Gunship zoom over the buildings. A familiar, cheery voice comes onto the radio.

“You can count on me.” It was Pinkie.

“Pinkie? I thought you were dead.”

“I never fucking die,” says Pinkie, blasting the tanks and helicopters. But just as she says that a rocket hits the AC-130.

“Buck! Well, there goes Pinkie again” Said Big Mactavish as he comes out of cover.

“We gotta get to the courtyard! Move! We’re under too much heavy fire! We need Lyra alive!” screamed Bryce as he moved through the building.

“We have to make it to the MG nests in the courtyard!” exclaimed Cheeryuri. The team then continued to shoot their way to the courtyard as Cheeryuri gave cover with an MSR Sniper Rifle. Suddenly, a giant tank busts through a gateway.

“Get us some air support! Throw a marker!” screamed Bryce. Big Mactavish then throws an air marker, and a team of stealth bombers fly overhead and shower the tank in bombs.

They stop on a bridge, where the Eiffel Tower can be seen up ahead.

A soldier comes up to Big Mactavish, and tells him to grab a Javelin to take out the tanks. He takes them out, and then throws an air marker into a crowd of Changeling soldiers. The team fights bravely, and almost run out of ammo. Suddenly, an airship swoops by, and shoots the Eiffel Tower. It falls into the canal next to it. Then, a giant team of helicopters come in, and cleans out the remaining enemies. A chopper then lands, and takes the team and Lyra Heartstrings onboard, and evacuates them.

The chaos is over and Lyra is bound and gagged and thrown into an interrogation room. Big Mactavish follows him in.

“Ok, Lyra Heartstrings, I don’t wanna hurt you. Tell me everything you know. We know you’re the bomb maker of The Queen, and also directly connected to Zecora and her army. Now, tell me. Where is Queen Chrysalis?” asked Big Mactavish.

Lyra says nothing.

There is a long silence and suddenly Lyra says: “I’ll tell you what I know. The Queen is hiding out in a hotel in Fillydelphia. She’ll be heavily guarded. Not just Changelings but also some of Zecoras men. She got her own private army; Over a thousand men.”

“Thank you. Have fun in federal prison. You’re being tried for the bombings on Parasprite, France.” Said Big Mactavish with a smirk on his face.

Orchard to Orchard

Colt of Duty: Modern Warmare 3

Chapter 5:

Orchard to Orchard

Pony Team 6 waits in their armored truck. Multiple gunmen are shooting the truck from the outside. The team prepares themselves with their juggernaut suits, and their M4A1 Grenadiers with ACOG Sight, and their PKP Pecheneg with Red Dot Sight. They’re hoping to storm this hotel to kill Queen Chrysalis.

“Ok. On the count of three, we rush out, and shoot our way to the hotel. Whatever you do, watch your plots, and don’t shoot civilians,” said Big Mactavish, disgruntled.

“One, Two, Three!” screamed Cheeryuri as she bashed the door open. “For Equestria!” said Cheeryuri as she shot at the Changelings.

They run down the street, and begin to shoot multiple soldiers, mowing them down in ten seconds flat.

“Chrysalis should be on the second floor,” Bryce said.

As the team entered the hotel, there’s a smell of gunpowder, and the sounds of fire alarms can be heard, as civilian ponies gallop out. The team eventually shoots their way up the escalators to the second floor. They mowed down the rival army with their machine guns with ease. They then step into an elevator. And suddenly, they see an enemy chopper fly up to where they were on the elevator. They proceed to shoot at it, and it spins out of control, and crashes into the elevator. Their juggernaut suits catch fire, and are forced to take them off.

“Dangit, these suits are useless now!” said Big Mactavish, as the elevator stalls. “This elevator’s not going to hold. Jump!” he said as he jumps to the next stalled elevator. The doors open, and Big Mactavish throws a grenade into the “welcoming” party of soldiers near the elevator from cover.

“Chrysalis’s chopper is leaving in four minutes. We gotta hurry!” exclaimed Bryce as he rushes into the room, shooting at the Changelings. They make it to the floor where Queen Chrysalis was being escorted to the top floor. Upon seeing the team, Chrysalis makes a mad dash to the upstairs. Then a clopper flies up to the floor and shot a missile right at the team of ponies. The floor levels out and Bryce and Cheeryuri are flung out of the window from the huge blast. Resolving from the blast, Big Mactavish gets up and runs to the top floor where he sees the Queen boarding her chopper. It lifts of. Big Mactavish takes a deep breath and tries to harness all his energy. He screams these words: FUS RO DAH! A huge sound blast erupts from his mouth and directly hits the chopper. It crashes onto the top floor with a giant blast. Big Mactavish walks up to Chrysalis’s hardly alive, bloodied body. He pulls out the Master Sword and slices her vile Changeling neck clean off. He takes out his communicator and calls for an evac. A chopper flies by and drops a warp pipe labeled “Canterlot”. He returns to the castle and is awarded a medal. THEN PRINCESS CELESTIA PULLS OUT A FLAMETHROWER AND KILLS BIG MACTAVISH.

She hovers over the crunchy corpse and says: You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?

THE END!

Note to readers

My name is Corey Kaufman, but I go by TheDawnMoon. I'm writing this to tell you something important. My fanfic Colt of Duty: Magic WarMare 3 is SUPPOSED TO BE BAD! I wrote the first chapter as a joke during hurricane Sandy and didn't get around to posting it till just recently. I didn't try and I dont really even like Call of Duty to begin with but I really like Black ops 1. I'm going to start to write good fanfics. Please follow me and stay tuned for BETTER and LONGER stories. Thanks for reading. Credit to whoever made the cover for the story. I didn't make it, I just went on google and found it.

Cupcakes of Sender

Colt of Duty: Magic WarMare 3

Chapter 3:

Cupcakes of Sender

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have reason to believe that Zecora, the local witch doctor of the Evergreen Forest, is working with Queen Chrysalis, the queen of the Changelings and the one responsible for the attacks at Manehatten, and might know where she’s hiding. We are ready to capture and interrogate her in Saddle Arabia and possibly be one step closer to defeating the changeling empire.

Sincerely,

Big Mactavish

Big Mactavish wrote in a letter to the Princess. Soon enough a letter arrived back reading:

Big Mactavish,

Thank you for the information on the possible target. You have permission to perform a Kill/Capture mission in Saddle Arabia. As long as you get some information out of her, you can take anything needed for the mission.

Best of luck,

Princess Celestia

As the team drives down a sandy road of Saddle Arabia in their Jeep, Bryce briefs the team on what they must do. “Zecora’s hideout is just up the road, but is heavily guarded and tucked away past the shipyard. We’re going to have to shoot our way through.” They quickly rush down the street and see a friendly heli shoot the gates with two rockets. They quickly rush in and Cheeryuri takes down a guard with her Desert Eagle. The team quickly pulls out their M4A1 Grenadiers with ACOG Sights with their Desert Eagles strapped in their side holsters’.

“We need air support!” screamed Cheeryuri. Big Mactavish quickly pulls out the air support grenades and throws it into a crowd of soldier ponies. Quickly, the grenade smoke signaled a friendly helicopter and quickly took out the group of ponies. “The target building is just up the road! Run!” said Cheeryuri. They continue to shoot their way through the shipyard. One pony after the other drops as they advance through the area. They finally make it to the house where Zecora is hiding. They carefully check every corner and climb all the stairs. They come up to the door to Zecora’s office and get into position to breach it. They kick down the door, taking out all of Zecora’s guards. They put their gasmasks on and Bryce releases a poison gas grenade into the room.

“What do you know about Queen Chrysalis’s location?” Asked Big Mactavish, holding an extra gasmask while he pointed a Desert Eagle at Zecora. “Tell me and it’s yours,” Big Mactavish says, gesturing to the gasmask.

“I know nothing of Chrysalis; I never even met her. A bombmaker named Lyra Heartstrings hired us to supply soldiers and guns,” said Zecora.

“Where is Lyra Heartstrings?” Asked Big Mactavish, holding the gun closer to Zecora.

“She’s hiding out in Canterlot. That’s all I know,” said Zecora. “Good,” Said Big Mactavish as he pulled the trigger on his Desert Eagle. “Call for evac, we’re out of here. I’ll have to send a letter to the Princess.”